Original subtitles

WHAT ARE

YOU KIDS DOIN'?

OH, WE'RE

BUILDING A FORT.

EVER BUILD A FORT,

GRANDPA?

ABSOLUTELY.

WE USED TO PLAY

COWBOYS AND INDIANS.

UH, THAT'S WHEN

YOU WERE ALLOWED

TO SAY "INDIANS."

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED

TO SAY "INDIANS"

ANYMORE.

I'M NOT ALLOWED

TO SAY "BITE ME."

WATCH YOUR MOUTH.

BITE ME, INDIAN.

HEY, WATCH YOUR MOUTH.

HEY, ARE YOU OK?

WHERE'S LILY?

WE FOUND THE PLACE.

NO LILY.

YEAH, BUT THE GUY

WHO RUNS THE PLACE,

HE'S GONNA REMEMBER

THE FINNERTYS...

EVERY TIME HE LOOKS

UP TO THE WALL

AND SEES THE SPOT

WHERE DANNY AIELLO

USED TO BE.

YOU STOLE A PHOTO

OF DANNY AIELLO?

IT'S A SIGNED PHOTO

OF DANNY AIELLO.

I LOVE THIS GUY.

SO NO LILY.

THAT GIRL IS

IN SO MUCH TROUBLE.

SHE HAS STEPPED

OVER THE LINE THIS TIME.

I'M FURIOUS.

I'M BEYOND FURIOUS.

HEY, EVERYBODY.

HEY, DAD.

HOW YA DOIN'?

HEY, YOU LOOK CUTE.

SHE IS IN

SO MUCH TROUBLE.

I JUST WISH

WE COULD TELL HER.

BECAUSE AFTER

WHAT SHE'S DONE...

WHAT'S LILY DONE?

WE DON'T KNOW,

BUT SHE'S

DEFINITELY GONE

TOO FAR THIS TIME.

DEFINITELY.

PROBABLY.

ALMOST CERTAINLY.

IF WE WANT

TO FIND OUT...

WE'RE JUST

GONNA HAVE TO

CONFRONT HER.

SO CONFRONT HER.

DAD, WE CAN'T

CONFRONT HER.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

YOU'RE ALL SCARED

OF A TEENAGE GIRL.

LOOK, DAD, YOU

JUST HAD TO DEAL

WITH BOYS.

YOU'VE NEVER HAD

TO DEAL WITH A

TEENAGE GIRL.

THEY ARE TERRIFYING.

THEY HAVE 2 SETTINGS

--RAGE AND

SCREAMING RAGE.

I KNOW SHE'S

UP TO SOMETHIN'.

BUT WHAT GOOD

DOES IT DO YA?

YOU'VE GOT NO EVIDENCE.

NOTHIN' YOU CAN USE,

ANYWAY.

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME

WHAT YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT?

OK, IT WAS A GOOD FAITH

SEARCH FOR A STAMP.

HEY, ED, YOU KNOW

WHERE ANY STAMPS ARE?

I DON'T LIVE HERE.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

I JUST GET CONFUSED,

'CAUSE YOU'RE

ALWAYS ON MY COUCH

EATING MY FOOD.

IT'S AN

UNDERSTANDABLE

MISTAKE.

LILY!

LIL, DO YOU

HAVE ANY STAMPS?

[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]

LILY?

[WHISTLING]

[HUMMING]

HMM, STAMPS.

SEPTEMBER 12, 1979?

FAKE I.D.?

THE TEENAGER

WE KNOW AS LILY

IS ALSO

A 21-YEAR-OLD NAMED

LILLIAN WINTERHAVEN.

AN HEIRESS, NO DOUBT.

SO WHAT'S SHE GONNA

DO WITH THIS CARD?

WE DON'T KNOW, BUT NONE OF

THE POSSIBILITIES ARE GOOD.

SO WHAT THE HELL'S

SHE DOIN' WITH

A FAKE I.D. ANYWAYS?

MAYBE SHE WANTS TO GO

TO "R" RATED MOVIES.

WE TAKE HER

TO "R" RATED

MOVIES ANYWAY.

BESIDES, YOU

ONLY HAVE TO BE 17

TO GET INTO

AN "R" RATED MOVIE.

MISS WINTERHAVEN IS 21.

OK, JUST RELAX,

SEAN.

WE HAD

FAKE I.D.s, TOO.

YEAH, AND DO YOU REMEMBER

WHAT WE DID WITH THEM?

WHOO! LAW SCHOOL

IS A BITCH.

WHOO. SURE IS.

HEY, SO, UH,

WHAT DO WE NEED?

UH...UGH.

UH...DO WE

NEED BEER?

BEER? UH...

YOU KNOW,

MAYBE WE SHOULD

JUST GET SOME IN CASE.

BETTER SAFE

THAN SORRY.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL

TAKE THIS AND,

UH...

THOSE CONDOMS

RIGHT THERE.

YOU GOT I.D.?

HA HA HA HA!

HEE HEE HEE!

WHOO, MAN, IT'S

BEEN A LONG TIME

SINCE SOMEONE

ASKED ME

FOR THAT, YEAH.

THAT IS VERY

FLATTERING.

ALL RIGHT, MR. COUSTEAU.

THAT'LL BE $26.32.

20--

YOU KNOW, WE'LL

JUST TAKE THE BEER.

WHERE'D YOU FIND

THE I.D., ANYWAY?

IN HER ROOM.

WHAT?

YEAH, IT WAS

IN HER DESK DRAWER.

OHH.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

THIS IS

NOT GOOD.

I'M NOT FOLLOWIN'

THE BIG CONTROVERSY.

HE TOOK THE I.D.

OUT OF HER ROOM.

YEAH?

IT'S TAINTED

EVIDENCE.

A PARENT CANNOT

GO INTO A TEENAGE

GIRL'S BEDROOM,

CANNOT GO

THROUGH HER STUFF.

ANYTHING HE FINDS

IS INADMISSIBLE.

NOTHIN'

IS INADMISSIBLE.

JUST SHOVE IT

IN HER FACE.

HO HO!

DAD, HAVE YOU EVER

HAD A CONFRONTATION

WITH A TEENAGE GIRL?

IT'S LIKE BEING LOCKED

IN THE TRUNK OF A CAR

WITH A WOLVERINE.

THEY'RE EMOTIONAL

POWDER KEGS,

AND BY GOING

INTO HER BEDROOM,

WE LIT THE MATCH.

HEADS UP.

OH, YEAH.

I DON'T GET IT.

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL

ABOUT GOIN' INTO

LILY'S ROOM?

OH, GRANDPA, DON'T

GO INTO LILY'S ROOM.

YOU WILL REGRET IT.

WHY ARE YOU TRYING

TO COME IN MY ROOM?

I'M SLEEPWALKING.

IT'S DANGEROUS

TO WAKE ME UP.

OH. WELL, WHEN YOU WAKE UP,

REMEMBER THIS--

I'M IN NINTH GRADE.

THEY TEACH US CHEMISTRY.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LEARN

IN CHEMISTRY?

HOW TO MAKE POISON,

UNDETECTABLE POISON.

I COULD'VE COVERED

THE DOORKNOB IN IT TODAY.

BUT YOU TOUCHED

THE DOORKNOB.

IT ONLY WORKS

ON LITTLE BOYS.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SHIVERS]

THERE'S NO SUCH

POISON, HENRY.

BESIDES, WHY WOULD

SHE GO TO SO MUCH TROUBLE

WHEN SHE COULD JUST

SMOTHER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP?

STOP IT.

YOU'RE SCARING HIM.

I'M SAVING HIS LIFE.

SO YOU ALL

LIVE IN FEAR

OF A LITTLE GIRL?

WHO'S RUNNIN'

THIS HOUSE, ANYWAY?

WE ARE, ALL RIGHT?

AND IT'S NOT LIKE WE

DIDN'T CONFRONT HER...

IN A WAY.

OH, UH, HEY, LIL.

HEY.

HEY, DAD.

UH, WHAT ARE YOU

UP TO TONIGHT?

NOTHING. GOING

TO CHRISTINA'S.

OH, CHRISTINA.

YEAH, YEAH.

SHE'S THE REAL

HEAVY DRINKER, RIGHT?

NO.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S, UM...

GOD, WHO IS THAT?

THE REAL HEAVY DRINKER

IS, UM...

NOBODY.

OH, YEAH,

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE REALLY SHOULD JUST--

WE SHOULD TALK

ABOUT THINGS MORE.

YOU KNOW,

I WAS WATCHIN' THE TV,

AND I SAW THAT AD

WITH FRASIER'S MAID,

AND SHE WAS LIKE,

[ENGLISH ACCENT]

"TALK TO YOUR KIDS."

HA HA HA.

YOU KNOW, MORE,

AND, UH, YOU'RE

MY KID, AND...

I'M JUST REALLY

INTERESTED IN YOUR LIFE.

YOU WANT TO TALK

ABOUT MY PERIOD?

YEAH. BYE, DAD.

OH, YOU'RE WORKIN'

WAY TOO HARD.

YOU WANT TO GET THE TRUTH

OUT OF YOUR KID,

YOU ASK HIM

DIRECT QUESTIONS,

AND LOOK HIM

STRAIGHT IN THE EYE.

IT DOESN'T WORK,

DAD.

I'VE TRIED IT.

REALLY?

DOESN'T WORK.

OK, I HAVEN'T

TRIED IT.

UH-HUH. HA HA HA.

BUT IT WOULDN'T WORK

WITH LILY ANYWAY.

I MEAN, SHE'S

A DIFFERENT BREED.

SHE'S REMORSELESS.

SHE KNOWS NO FEAR.

YEAH, WHAT

YOU CALL HELL,

SHE CALLS HOME.

IT'S NOT ABOUT FEAR.

IT'S ABOUT RESPECT.

WAIT. HOW'S SHE

GONNA RESPECT ME

AFTER I VIOLATED

HER PRIVACY?

SHE DOESN'T

HAVE PRIVACY.

WHY WOULD A TEENAGER

WANT TO KEEP

SOMETHIN' PRIVATE?

BECAUSE IT'S BAD.

YOU BOYS WERE

NEVER ABLE TO KEEP

ANYTHING FROM ME.

YOU DON'T WANT

TO CONFRONT HER?

I'LL DO IT.

I'LL BE BACK

IN 5 MINUTES

WITH THE INFORMATION

YOU NEED.

DAD, DAD,

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

IT'S MY HOUSE,

THEY'RE MY KIDS,

I'M IN CONTROL.

NONE SHALL PASS.

WHOA, WHAT'S

GOIN' ON HERE?

COOL FORT,

HUH, DAD?

YEAH, AND YOU GUYS

CAN'T GET PAST US

WITHOUT

THE SECRET PASSWORD.

MMM,

LET ME GUESS.

IT'S BOOBIES.

I TOLD YOU WE NEEDED

A DIFFERENT PASSWORD.

I JUST LIKE

THAT ONE SO MUCH.

BOOBIES!

WHOA, DAD,

HERE'S THE THING, OK?

WE CONFRONT HER,

THEN SHE'S GONNA FIND OUT

ABOUT THE OTHER THING.

THERE'S ANOTHER THING?

WE WERE SO DESPERATE

TO SEE WHAT SHE WAS USIN'

THE FAKE I.D. FOR

THAT WE DID SOMETHIN'

BORDERLINE UNETHICAL.

WE KIND OF CHECKED

HER E-MAIL.

OK, WHAT'S

HER PASSWORD?

TRY BOOBIES.

IT'S NOT

BOOBIES.

IT'S

TIMBERLAKE.

HOW DO

YOU KNOW?

LOOK AROUND.

AHEM!

TIM-BER-LAKE.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

WORK, WORK, WORK.

Computer:

WELCOME!

I'M IN!

Computer:

YOU'VE GOT MAIL.

OK, THIS IS HER

PRIVATE EMAIL

ACCOUNT.

I JUST WANT TO

GO ON RECORD

AS SAYING

THIS IS WRONG.

DO YOU WANT

ME TO STOP?

I JUST WANT IT

ON THE RECORD.

OK, DULY NOTED.

LOOK AT THE SUBJECT

ON THIS ONE.

"I WILL FREAK YOU

CRAZY, BABY."

HEY, THEY'RE

RIPPING OFF MY LINE.

Claudia:

COME ON,

OPEN IT!

Jimmy:

CALM DOWN.

IT'S JUST JUNK MAIL.

OK, THERE'S GOTTA

BE SOMETHING HERE.

THERE'S GOT TO BE

JUST SOME CLUE.

[COMPUTER CHIME]

WHAT--

HEY, WHAT'S THAT?

UH, SOMEONE'S

INSTANT MESSAGING YOU.

SOMEONE NAMED

"SWEETANDNASTEE."

THEY THINK

YOU'RE LILY.

AH, "LILY?"

JUST SHUT IT DOWN!

SHUT IT DOWN!

YOU GOTTA BAIL, MAN.

NO, NO, NO!

THIS SWEETANDNASTEE

PERSON MIGHT BE ABLE

TO GIVE US A CLUE.

[COMPUTER CHIME]

YES...

YOU KNOW...

FRESH...

KEEPING IT FRESH?

YEAH, YEAH.

THAT'S WHAT ALL THE KIDS

ARE SAYING THESE DAYS.

NO, THEY'RE NOT.

YEAH, THAT'S

OLD SCHOOL, MAN.

NOW THE KIDS

ARE SAYING "SPANK."

YOU KNOW, LIKE

"YO, THAT'S SPANK, MAN!"

NO, WE'RE NOT.

YOU WILL BE.

[COMPUTER CHIME]

NOW WE'RE LIKE TWINS?!

LILY'S GOT A

TATTOO ON HER BUTT?

HENRY, GO DOWNSTAIRS!

YEAH.

HAVE WE EVER

CHECKED HER BUTT?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED

TO CHECK HER BUTT?!

SO WE'RE JUST

SUPPOSED TO SIT BACK

AND NOT CHECK

HER BUTT?

WE ARE HER PARENTS!

HOLD ON A SECOND, OK?

WAIT.

OK, I'M GONNA

FIND OUT WHAT'S UP.

ANYTHING GOING

ON TONIGHT?

[COMPUTER CHIME]

TO THE RAVE, RIGHT?

Both: THE RAVE?

LET'S GO.

LET'S GO TO THE RAVE.

WHAT'S A RAVE?

YOU SHOULD ASK EDDIE.

HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT 'EM.

YEAH, I'M FAMILIAR

WITH THE SCENE.

I EVENTUALLY GOT

TIRED OF THE HASSLES.

I MEAN, THE COPS

DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

YEAH, CAN YOU

BELIEVE THOSE

DUMB COPS?

I MEAN, THEY CAN'T

EMBRACE THE IDEA

OF TEENAGERS USING

ILLEGAL DRUGS

IN CONDEMNED

WAREHOUSES.

IN THIS DAY AND AGE!

OH, MY GOD.

SEEMS LIKE

JUST YESTERDAY

SHE WAS

MY LITTLE BALLERINA

AND NOW SHE'S

A TATTOOED

PARTY GIRL.

WELL, I'M SURE

YOU'LL GET A CHANCE

TO TALK TO HER SOON

ON JERRY SPRINGER!

OH, WE'LL TALK TO HER.

WHEN EXACTLY?

YOU KNOW WHAT, DAD?

NOW!

YOU KNOW, LILY

HAS GONE TOO FAR

ON THIS ONE.

ALL RIGHT,

I'M GONNA MARCH

RIGHT UP THERE

AND GO, YES!

I WENT INTO YOUR

ROOM, YOUNG LADY.

AND YES, I WENT

INTO YOUR DRAWER

BECAUSE I'M YOUR DAD

AND I'M CONCERNED

ABOUT YOU.

YES!

YES!

YES, I WENT

INTO YOUR ROOM!

[FLUSTERED]

I WENT INTO--

OH, I WENT INTO--

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU CAN'T EVEN

CALL IT YOUR ROOM

UNTIL YOU START PAYING

RENT, YOUNG LADY!

HEH HEH HEH! OK!

[YELLING]

YOUR ROOM!

MY HOUSE!

Sean: IT'S--

NO, MY ROOM!

SURE, SURE, SURE

I WAS IN YOUR ROOM.

AND I'M GONNA DO IT

AGAIN WHENEVER I LIKE

BECAUSE I'M YOUR FATHER!

FATHERS--

OK, SURE.

YEAH, DAD?

LILY, I THINK WE

SHOULD TALK ABOUT

WHERE YOU WERE

TONIGHT.

I WAS AT CHRISTINA'S.

I DON'T THINK SO.

WHY NOT?

COULD IT BE BECAUSE

YOU WERE IN MY ROOM!

[YELLING]

YOU VIOLATED MY PRIVACY,

YOU TRAMPLED MY TRUST,

BECAUSE YOU WERE

IN MY ROOM!

[WEAKLY]

NO, I WASN'T.

BOY, I REALLY

HIT THE JACKPOT.

IT'S KENNY ROGERS,

CHERYL LADD,

THE BLACK GUY

FROM MIAMI VICE.

HE'S REALLY SPANK.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT

TO GO IN MY ROOM!

LOOK, THIS

IS MY HOUSE.

I'LL GO INTO

ANY ROOM I WANT.

WELL, WHY DON'T

YOU JUST GO IN

THE BATHROOM

AND FLUSH YOUR FACE?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF I CHOOSE TO, I WILL.

AND IN EITHER ONE

BECAUSE THEY'RE

BOTH MINE!

GO AHEAD!

OH, SHE'S ON SOMETHING!

I THINK SHE SNORTED

UP SOME OF THAT EXSTAMACY.

HO HO HO,

THAT'S IT!

I AM DONE WITH

THIS FAMILY.

I AM DISOWNED!

OH, COME ON.

YOU CAN'T DISOWN YOURSELF.

FINE.

THEN I QUIT.

WHOA!

FREEZE RIGHT THERE!

YOUNG LADY, I AM

NOT CHASING YOU

TO ANY MORE RAVES.

WHAT?

HMM, HMM, HMM.

WE KNOW ALL ABOUT IT.

YOU ACTUALLY WENT?

'COURSE I WENT.

I--

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,

"ACTUALLY"?

I WAS AT CHRISTINA'S HOUSE.

LIKE I SAID.

[TYPING]

HEY, LILY?

THIS IS WEIRD.

YOU'RE ON-LINE.

NO, I'M NOT.

YES, YOU ARE.

YOUR SCREEN NAME

JUST POPPED UP ON

MY BUDDY LIST. SEE?

NO WAY.

SOMEBODY SIGNED ON

WITH MY NAME!

NO!

YES!

SEND THEM

AN INSTANT MESSAGE.

LILY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S PROBABLY

MY LITTLE BROTHER.

THEY'RE NOT ANSWERING.

TYPE ARE YOU THERE?

THIS IS SO FREAKING ME OUT.

TOTALLY.

"JUST HANGING. YOU KNOW,

KEEPING IT FRESH"?

OH, MY GOD!

IT'S MY DAD!

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

IT'S HIM.

AH, YOU KNOW,

KEEPING IT FRESH.

DID HE REALLY SAY

"KEEPING IT FRESH"?

I'LL TALK TO HIM.

SHOULD WE SIGN OFF?

NO. MOVE OVER.

I'M GOING TO SCREW WITH HIM

A LITTLE.

CHRISTINA IS

SWEETANDNASTEE?

OH, MAN! I KNEW IT!

WHOA, WHOA.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THERE WAS AN ADDRESS...

IN YONKERS

AND A PASSWORD

TO GET IN.

PUMPKIN?

PUMPKIN!

THAT'S IT EXACTLY!

OHH-H-H.

I JUST MADE UP

AN ADDRESS AT RANDOM.

WELL, THERE WAS

SOMETHING THERE.

THIS IS IT--

540 WHITE STREET.

IT'S A DRY CLEANERS.

I BET THE KIDS

GET ALL MESSED UP

ON DRY CLEANING CHEMICALS.

AND THEN THEY PUT ON

OTHER PEOPLE'S CLOTHES.

THAT'S SICK.

THAT'S BRILLIANT.

PHEW.

A LOT OF CELEBRITIES

BRING THEIR LAUNDRY HERE.

YEAH.

LOOK AT THIS ONE.

KENNY ROGERS.

"TO BOBBY,

YOU KNOW WHEN

TO FOLD 'EM."

THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

HEY, I DON'T SEE A RAVE.

IT'S PROBABLY DOWN

IN THE BASEMENT

OR SOMETHING.

THAT'S WHAT

THE PASSWORD'S FOR.

CAN I HELP YOU?

OH, YEAH.

HEY, UM...

YOU KNOW, I JUST WANTED

TO GET SOME STUFF

DRY CLEANED AND...

YOU KNOW, PUMPKIN.

WHAT?

PUMPKIN.

WHY DID YOU

JUST WINK AT ME?

COME ON.

WE'RE DOWN.

PUMPKIN.

OK. YOU CALL ME

PUMPKIN AGAIN,

I'M GONNA SLAP YOU.

HEY, BUDDY, I THINK IF YOU

LOOK AT YOUR LIST,

YOU'LL SEE THAT

WE'RE ON IT.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST

TELL ME WHAT DAY

YOU DROPPED OFF?

DROPPED OFF? WHAT--

THIS GUY IS SOME KIND

OF WISE ASS.

WHAT ARE YOU,

A WISE ASS?

HEY, HEY, HEY. NO, NO.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

COME ON.

HEY, HEY, WHOA.

ALL RIGHT?

COME ON, MAN.

HEY, DUDE, WE JUST

WANNA PARTY.

WE KNOW YOU'RE

SWEETANDNASTEE.

EXCUSE ME?

YEAH, COME ON.

YOU'RE SWEETANDNASTEE.

WE KNOW YOU GOT

A COBRA ON YOUR ASS.

OK. GET OUTTA MY STORE!

Sean:

OH, WAIT A MINUTE!

I GET IT.

YOU JUST WANT TO PARTY

WITH UNDERAGE GIRLS!

NOW YOU'RE CALLING ME

A PERVERT?

YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES

THAT ARE PERVERTS!

HEY, POP, POP,

WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE.

YOU GOT A NICE PLACE.

I'D JUST HATE TO SEE

SOMEBODY MESS IT UP.

OH! WAS THAT VALUABLE?

OH! OH!

NOW, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST TELL US

WHERE THE ACTION IS?

OH, NOW YOU'RE GOING

TO BE THE TOUGH GUY?

AND THEN IT WAS ON.

2 AGAINST ONE?

THAT'S HARDLY FAIR.

ACTUALLY

WE COULD'VE USED

ANOTHER COUPLE GUYS.

WHO'S SWEET

AND NASTY NOW, HUH?

AH, SHOOT! YAH!

LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

W-W-W-WAIT A MINUTE.

WHOO!

HA! HA-A-A HA HA!

COME ON.

SO YOU

BEAT UP AND ROBBED

AN INNOCENT DRY CLEANER?

HEY, HEY!

HE BEAT US UP!

WE JUST ROBBED HIM.

SO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVED

I'D GO

ALL THE WAY TO YONKERS

FOR SOME PARTY?

HOW STUPID

DO YOU THINK I AM?

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S WHAT WE WERE

TRYING TO FIND OUT.

LILY, WE REMEMBER

WHAT IT WAS LIKE

TO BE TEENAGERS.

YOU CAN'T HOLD YOU

AGAINST ME.

I'VE GIVEN YOU NO REASON

TO BE SO SUSPICIOUS.

OH, IS THAT SO,

MS. WINTERHAVEN?

EXCUSE ME?

UH, YEAH, MS. UH,

LILLIAN WINTERHAVEN.

THAT'S NOT MINE.

OH, IT'S NOT?

WELL, IT'S NOT MY NAME.

IT'S GOT

YOUR PICTURE ON IT.

UCK!

MOM, IT WAS

JUST A GOOF, OK?

ALL THE KIDS AT SCHOOL

HAVE THEM.

I HAVEN'T EVEN USED

MINE YET.

YET! SEE, THAT'S

THE WORD THAT SCARES US.

NAH-AH--AH-AH--UNH-UNH.

NO.

WHATEVER.

Sean: WHOA! YOU STOP

RIGHT THERE, YOUNG LADY.

THIS ISN'T

JUST ABOUT THE I.D.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, THE I.D. WASN'T

THE ONLY THING I FOUND.

UCK.

WHAT ELSE DID YOU FIND?

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL

WHAT I FOUND.

OH, OK. THAT'S

NOT EVEN MINE.

I'M JUST HOLDING IT

FOR CHRISTINA.

YOUR MOTHER AND I

ARE SO DISAPPOINTED

AND HEARTBROKEN.

AREN'T WE, BABY?

DISAPPOINTED DOESN'T EVEN

BEGIN TO DESCRIBE...

I'M SO SORRY.

THIS WILL NEVER,

EVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

YOU BET YOUR ASS

IT WON'T.

NOW, YOU MARCH UP

THOSE STAIRS

AND YOU GET THAT THING

AND YOU BRING IT DOWN

HERE AND THEN...

AND THEN WE'LL TALK

ABOUT MAYBE PUTTING

THIS THING BEHIND US

AND THEN MAYBE I CAN

LOOK AT YOU THE SAME WAY

I USED TO LOOK AT YOU.

LIKE THE DAUGHTER

I LOVED.

OK.

NICE WORK!

NUMBER ONE.

SCARED THE CRAP

OUT OF HER.

YES, WE DID.

OH, BABY, MMM!

WHAT DO YOU THINK

IT IS?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

WE'LL FIND OUT

IN A MINUTE.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Lily: OOPS!

AT LEAST WE KNOW

IT WASN'T A HANDGUN.

Walter: OPEN THE SIDE!

I CAN'T BREATHE IN HERE!

Jimmy: GRANDPA?

WHERE ARE YOU?

Walter: AAH!

I JUST HIT

THE UMBRELLA STAND.

OH, MY GOD!

UH, GUYS, THIS IS

WAY, WAY, WAY TOO BIG.

Eddie:

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

THERE'S NO WAY TO GET

OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Walter: AW,

THE HELL WITH IT!

GRANDPA!

WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

I'M SORRY, BOYS.

I GOT TO USE THE BATHROOM.

I'M SURPRISED THERE

ISN'T ONE IN THERE.

THERE IS.

OH, NO!

OH,GOD.

OH, DON'T--WHOA,

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

YOU GUYS COMIN' BACK

FOR MORE?

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

WE--WE--WE CAME

TO APOLOGIZE.

WE MADE A MISTAKE.

I'LL SAY.

AND WE'RE SORRY

AND WE WANT

TO GIVE YOU

YOUR PICTURES BACK.

WHERE THE HELL'S

MY PHILIP MICHAEL THOMAS?

WHO?

THE BLACK GUY

FROM MIAMI VICE.

AW, YOU--

RUN!