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1
00:00:18,127 --> 00:00:19,827
It's alive!
2
00:00:33,508 --> 00:00:37,866
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
3
00:00:42,057 --> 00:00:45,577
Uh-oh, where's my phone?
4
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,132
Oh!
No!
5
00:00:48,166 --> 00:00:51,135
♪ What's up, Blackness,
my old pal? ♪
6
00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:54,483
Oh.
Oh, no!
7
00:00:54,517 --> 00:00:57,175
♪ They emerged from the trees
to save our planet ♪
8
00:00:57,210 --> 00:01:00,213
♪ Squatch Squad! ♪
9
00:01:00,247 --> 00:01:02,974
♪ With feet like concrete
and fists like granite ♪
10
00:01:03,009 --> 00:01:05,805
♪ Squatch Squad! ♪
11
00:01:05,839 --> 00:01:08,669
♪ Cryptozoology in your face ♪
12
00:01:08,704 --> 00:01:13,226
♪ Hairy heroes that hail from
inter-dimensional space ♪
13
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:14,536
♪ Bigfoot ♪
14
00:01:14,537 --> 00:01:15,952
♪ Space Squatch ♪
15
00:01:15,953 --> 00:01:17,332
♪ Skunk Ape Stomp ♪
16
00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:20,578
♪ Squatch Squad! ♪
17
00:01:22,219 --> 00:01:24,566
Skunk Ape, Space Squatch, look!
18
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,913
They're bulldozing sequoias
to make room
19
00:01:26,947 --> 00:01:28,777
for a bulldozer factory!
20
00:01:28,811 --> 00:01:30,226
These guys stink!
21
00:01:30,227 --> 00:01:32,229
Time to zap
some dweebizoids!
22
00:01:32,263 --> 00:01:35,680
We're gonna need backup for this.
23
00:01:35,715 --> 00:01:37,544
Batsquatch!
24
00:01:37,579 --> 00:01:39,305
- Sheepsquatch!
- Baaa!
25
00:01:39,339 --> 00:01:42,307
And Blurry Foot ...
the bigfoot of photographs.
26
00:01:42,308 --> 00:01:46,164
- Ready!
- Squatches, stomp!
27
00:01:46,956 --> 00:01:48,382
- Oh!
- Get it off!
28
00:01:48,383 --> 00:01:52,559
- Get it off!
- No. Don't disturb the forest!
29
00:01:55,114 --> 00:02:00,291
- Oh! Dying!
- Dying...
30
00:02:00,326 --> 00:02:03,294
♪ Squatch Squad! ♪
31
00:02:08,575 --> 00:02:13,166
Indiana Jones, are you here
to take me on an adventure?
32
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:16,582
- Yes, Marion, an adventure.
- Whoo-hoo!
33
00:02:24,246 --> 00:02:27,318
Is this where
the Ark of the Covenant is?
34
00:02:27,353 --> 00:02:31,011
That's right, Marion. Don't
look, no matter what happens.
35
00:02:33,704 --> 00:02:36,948
My sweet Westley, you've
returned to me and our love.
36
00:02:36,983 --> 00:02:39,537
Through my years as
the Dread Pirate Roberts,
37
00:02:39,572 --> 00:02:41,470
all I could think
of was this moment.
38
00:02:41,505 --> 00:02:44,990
- You must have suffered greatly.
- Well...
39
00:02:44,991 --> 00:02:48,614
Take no prisoners!
Slaughter them all!
40
00:02:48,615 --> 00:02:52,102
I'll take all the whores in Freeport!
41
00:02:52,136 --> 00:02:54,311
Sire, the finest iocane powder.
42
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,608
Yeah, bitch!
I'm the motherfucking
43
00:02:58,609 --> 00:03:01,489
- Dread Pirate Roberts!
- Aagh!
44
00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:04,010
No biggie.
It was mostly sailing, fishing.
45
00:03:04,044 --> 00:03:06,668
But you were the most
feared pirate on the open sea.
46
00:03:06,702 --> 00:03:09,912
Perhaps now is a good time
to mention I have syphilis.
47
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,194
Hey, Three, do you think
masturbation is gay?
48
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:17,298
W-What?
Well, you're stroking your penis,
49
00:03:17,299 --> 00:03:19,543
but it's your penis, so, no.
50
00:03:19,577 --> 00:03:23,685
But, like, we're clones, right?
Like, your penis is my penis, eh?
51
00:03:23,719 --> 00:03:26,308
Are you wondering if it's gay
to have sex with your own clone?
52
00:03:26,343 --> 00:03:29,104
'Cause if it's between
two consenting adults, it's ...
53
00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:30,794
- who cares?
- Cool.
54
00:03:30,795 --> 00:03:33,143
So, uh, hey, you want to watch
"Xanadu" tonight?
55
00:03:33,177 --> 00:03:39,356
- I love "Xanadu"! Oh!
- Damn! So close.
56
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,908
Both: Hey, I've got a question for ya.
57
00:03:40,909 --> 00:03:42,530
Yes!
58
00:03:42,671 --> 00:03:46,606
The Matrix is a simulation built
to change a human being's brain
59
00:03:46,641 --> 00:03:50,161
into a computer that generates this.
60
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:53,025
No! Impossible!
Bitcoin isn't real.
61
00:03:53,026 --> 00:03:55,511
What is real, Neo?
Is the dollar real?
62
00:03:55,512 --> 00:03:59,110
Is a mint condition Black Lotus
Magic: The Gathering card real?
63
00:03:59,136 --> 00:04:02,035
Yes, but why would
the machines want Bitcoin?
64
00:04:02,070 --> 00:04:04,210
Because it goes up in value.
65
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,902
- So?
- So then you have more Bitcoin.
66
00:04:06,937 --> 00:04:10,768
Is this why you freed me, to
save mankind from this bullshit?
67
00:04:10,803 --> 00:04:17,948
No, Neo. You're here to lend me
$5,000 so I can buy a Bitcoin.
68
00:04:18,604 --> 00:04:22,090
- Happy birthday, Eleroo!
- Hello, advanced beings!
69
00:04:22,124 --> 00:04:26,543
I am Dr. Seth Brundle,
half man, halffff fly.
70
00:04:26,577 --> 00:04:30,270
That makes you a Wuzzle, too!
Join us for a party, won't you?
71
00:04:30,305 --> 00:04:33,964
I have recently discovered
a fascinating new way to eat!
72
00:04:33,998 --> 00:04:35,861
Observe!
73
00:04:35,862 --> 00:04:36,655
Aagh!
74
00:04:36,656 --> 00:04:39,175
- Oops. Sorry.
- Agh, my bumble paw!
75
00:04:39,176 --> 00:04:42,524
- Bumblelion!
- Well, waste not, want not.
76
00:04:42,559 --> 00:04:46,632
Hey, get off of him! You...
Aagh!
77
00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:48,565
It's too much hurting!
78
00:04:48,599 --> 00:04:52,120
Is that half shotgun,
half another shotgun?
79
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,469
That's stupid.
It's just a whole shotgun.
80
00:04:56,504 --> 00:05:00,255
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
81
00:05:02,544 --> 00:05:04,096
Would you like some honey
with your tea?
82
00:05:04,097 --> 00:05:05,339
Please.
83
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:07,306
Huh!
84
00:05:09,827 --> 00:05:12,451
- Ah.
- Thank you.
85
00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:15,563
- And for you, Miss?
- I'm good.
86
00:05:15,604 --> 00:05:19,021
So in conclusion, if the
volcano's eruption will kill
87
00:05:19,056 --> 00:05:22,714
- the dinosaurs, we should let it.
- Judge: Thank you.
88
00:05:22,715 --> 00:05:24,993
The committee will now hear
from a dissenting expert.
89
00:05:35,141 --> 00:05:36,762
Excuse me, kind sir,
90
00:05:36,763 --> 00:05:40,836
but I believe that
this is my assigned seat.
91
00:05:40,871 --> 00:05:43,529
The name is Louis Goobberson III.
92
00:05:43,563 --> 00:05:46,186
My pals call me Gooey Louie.
93
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:49,293
I ... I'm sorry, I'm a little bit
of a germophobe, so...
94
00:05:49,328 --> 00:05:52,295
Totally understand.
Hey, do you mind if I partake
95
00:05:52,296 --> 00:05:54,402
of some delectable
powdered doughnuts?
96
00:05:54,436 --> 00:05:57,396
They're extra powdery.
Achoo!
97
00:05:57,646 --> 00:06:01,892
- Achoo!
- You have to let me change seats.
98
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:04,066
Excuse me, Miss,
while I have you,
99
00:06:04,101 --> 00:06:08,312
do you perchance have
one single-ply napkin?
100
00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:13,386
- 50 bucks for a DayQuil?
- Ooh.
101
00:06:13,421 --> 00:06:16,424
I have always desired
to watch Pixar's "Up."
102
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:20,358
- This should be light fare indeed!
- Oh fuck.
103
00:06:20,408 --> 00:06:21,697
_
104
00:06:26,641 --> 00:06:31,266
Miscarriage and death ...
what pain life holds.
105
00:06:31,301 --> 00:06:34,751
What unique sorrow.
Such sorrow!
106
00:06:34,752 --> 00:06:37,582
- Get a neti pot, you selfish ass!
- Hey, slow down!
107
00:06:37,583 --> 00:06:42,172
There's enough mucous
for everybody! Aah!
108
00:06:42,173 --> 00:06:44,314
You just murdered a federal judge!
109
00:06:44,348 --> 00:06:48,628
It's a mad house!
Everything is snot!
110
00:06:48,663 --> 00:06:50,998
Oh!
111
00:06:53,944 --> 00:06:56,567
The Allies have taken Berlin!
And why?
112
00:06:56,602 --> 00:06:59,467
Because you all failed to do
what I asked of you!
113
00:06:59,501 --> 00:07:02,573
Johann Schmidt, have you found
the Tesseract in Norway?
114
00:07:02,608 --> 00:07:07,440
Mein fuhrer, none of the
occult items you ask for exist.
115
00:07:07,475 --> 00:07:10,643
A better use of my
mein troops would be ...
116
00:07:10,678 --> 00:07:13,239
Enough! Frau Haupstein,
have you opened the gates to hell?
117
00:07:13,273 --> 00:07:14,619
I was not able to summon
118
00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:17,554
the demonic Hellboy
with the help of Rasputin.
119
00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:20,902
But I have been working
on a military strategy.
120
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,524
Unacceptable!
121
00:07:23,525 --> 00:07:26,356
Herr Toht, have you recovered
the artifact from Egypt?
122
00:07:26,390 --> 00:07:31,188
Um, uh, yes. I have found
the lost Ark of the Covenant.
123
00:07:31,222 --> 00:07:35,503
- Wunderbar! Where is it?
- It is... uh, here.
124
00:07:35,537 --> 00:07:39,196
I have kept the 10 Commandments
in this briefcase.
125
00:07:39,230 --> 00:07:42,337
Finally, the key
to winning the war!
126
00:07:42,372 --> 00:07:45,754
Americanas, I bet you did not expect ...
127
00:07:45,789 --> 00:07:50,414
keep mein eyes closed,
keep mein eyes closed ... this!
128
00:07:50,449 --> 00:07:54,493
The power of
God is mine to command.
129
00:07:54,577 --> 00:07:58,422
Your faces melting,
I wish I could see!
130
00:07:58,457 --> 00:08:00,666
And your face, too!
131
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:04,601
- The ghosts are so scary.
- Let's see where this goes.
132
00:08:04,635 --> 00:08:06,810
♪ Melty, melty, melty! ♪
133
00:08:06,844 --> 00:08:11,435
So cool. Aliens sent you plans
for a spaceship in your dreams.
134
00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:14,231
We could be explorers.
135
00:08:16,026 --> 00:08:18,511
Holy crap, that's a ...
a ... what do you call it?
136
00:08:18,546 --> 00:08:20,582
An electromagnetic bubble
capable of moving
137
00:08:20,617 --> 00:08:22,653
at near limitless
distances and speeds.
138
00:08:22,688 --> 00:08:24,388
Yes! Wow!
139
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,348
That is quite the racket.
140
00:08:29,349 --> 00:08:33,457
- Maybe we should check on them.
- No, let them explore their bodies.
141
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,741
_
142
00:08:42,777 --> 00:08:45,089
Oh. No!
143
00:08:45,124 --> 00:08:48,576
Oh, a Pez.
Thank you.
144
00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,681
Mmm.
145
00:08:50,716 --> 00:08:52,545
Krypton is doomed, my son.
146
00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:56,204
But on Earth,
you shall be like a god.
147
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:01,105
Oh, boy!
First day on the Earth job.
148
00:09:03,901 --> 00:09:07,595
Fu...
...nny coincidence.
149
00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:09,735
What to do, what to do.
150
00:09:09,769 --> 00:09:10,976
Oh, no!
Brainiac!
151
00:09:10,977 --> 00:09:15,611
I was your only friend.
152
00:09:15,948 --> 00:09:18,847
What to do, what to do.
153
00:09:18,882 --> 00:09:22,160
The sun is almost up, Elisa.
Leave me and go.
154
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:23,541
I'm not going anywhere.
155
00:09:23,542 --> 00:09:25,958
When you turn to stone,
I'll watch over you.
156
00:09:25,992 --> 00:09:28,788
You don't understand.
157
00:09:30,928 --> 00:09:32,628
Goliath?
158
00:09:34,794 --> 00:09:38,866
And the romance is gone.
That's impressive, though.
159
00:09:43,113 --> 00:09:45,909
Mr. Pol Pot, gnarly soldier dude,
160
00:09:45,943 --> 00:09:48,532
I am Bill S. Preston, esquire.
161
00:09:48,567 --> 00:09:50,741
And I am
Ted "Theodore" Logan.
162
00:09:50,776 --> 00:09:52,431
And we are here to...
163
00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:58,230
Bill and Ted, wait!
164
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,510
We've come to warn you,
do not ask Mr. Pot ...
165
00:10:00,544 --> 00:10:02,442
Oh, no.
We're too late.
166
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:05,825
- Oh, dude!
- Déjá vu!
167
00:10:06,550 --> 00:10:10,485
Mr. Pot, may I suggest that your
soldiers to not ...
168
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,220
Non-heinous.
169
00:10:14,144 --> 00:10:19,185
- This is most uncool, dude.
- Stop!
170
00:10:20,391 --> 00:10:23,602
- Oh, no! I'm shot.
- Except reveal!
171
00:10:23,636 --> 00:10:27,363
- Radical!
- Bogus. Dude!
172
00:10:27,364 --> 00:10:30,331
- Oh, no, bro...
- Damn, we totally mistimed that one.
173
00:10:30,332 --> 00:10:32,231
- Whoa!
- Bogus!
174
00:10:59,499 --> 00:11:04,400
Coming soon,
"Bill and Ted: Part 3."
175
00:11:06,369 --> 00:11:10,313
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
13354
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