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♪♪
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00:00:03,894 --> 00:00:05,273
[Thunder crashes]
3
00:00:05,274 --> 00:00:07,032
[Theme music plays]
[Cackles]
4
00:00:07,067 --> 00:00:10,860
♪♪
5
00:00:10,894 --> 00:00:13,343
[Whirring]
6
00:00:14,929 --> 00:00:16,687
[Whirring]
7
00:00:16,722 --> 00:00:18,687
Man: It's alive!
[Thunder rumbles]
8
00:00:18,722 --> 00:00:24,672
♪♪
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00:00:26,170 --> 00:00:28,239
[Thunder crashes]
[Cackles]
10
00:00:28,274 --> 00:00:31,065
♪♪
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00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:36,545
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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00:00:38,181 --> 00:00:39,490
♪ Mother[bleep] ♪
13
00:00:39,491 --> 00:00:40,869
♪ It's my wedding day ♪
14
00:00:40,870 --> 00:00:42,570
Narrator:
Freddy Krueger had a dream.
15
00:00:42,594 --> 00:00:44,732
I want my father to walk me
down the aisle.
16
00:00:44,767 --> 00:00:47,836
♪ My mom was raped
by all the psychos ♪
17
00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:50,629
Narrator: But this wedding has
a few surprises.
18
00:00:50,663 --> 00:00:53,767
- Dude, sunscreen!
- Burned alive, but thanks!
19
00:00:53,801 --> 00:00:57,250
Your father? Aren't you the
Bastard Son of 100 Maniacs?
20
00:00:57,284 --> 00:00:59,250
Well, I'm the son
of one maniac.
21
00:00:59,284 --> 00:01:01,146
The other 99 lost the race.
22
00:01:01,181 --> 00:01:05,318
- So invite them all.
- I will!
23
00:01:05,353 --> 00:01:06,800
- Have we met before?
- That depends.
24
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:09,456
Did you gangbang a nun at
an insane asylum in the '50s?
25
00:01:09,491 --> 00:01:12,524
- Catholic or flying?
- Terrified. [Laughter]
26
00:01:12,525 --> 00:01:15,146
♪ Boiler dreams, murder kids ♪
27
00:01:15,181 --> 00:01:18,077
♪ Stabbing the life out of them ♪
28
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:20,250
Geez, Mom, you really got around.
29
00:01:20,284 --> 00:01:23,456
Sure, slut-shame the violated nun.
30
00:01:24,629 --> 00:01:26,974
♪ Almost married, RSVP ♪
31
00:01:27,008 --> 00:01:29,008
♪ Registered at Macy's ♪
32
00:01:29,043 --> 00:01:30,905
Announcer: This summer, get ready...
33
00:01:30,939 --> 00:01:32,559
- Freddy...
- I'm your...
34
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,628
- Dad.
- Murder, bludgeon, kill!
35
00:01:34,629 --> 00:01:37,146
Announcer: ...for the
wedding of a lifetime.
36
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,250
♪ Hundred psycho Johns ♪
37
00:01:39,284 --> 00:01:41,008
♪ How could this go wrong? ♪
38
00:01:41,043 --> 00:01:42,801
♪ Please, it's just Freddy's ♪
39
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:45,491
♪ Messed-up back story ♪
40
00:01:45,525 --> 00:01:49,629
Possible dads,
you're ruining my big day!
41
00:01:49,663 --> 00:01:52,641
Narrator: "Murder Mia!"
42
00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:54,283
Stay frosty.
43
00:01:54,284 --> 00:01:56,974
One of those things
de-spined my entire platoon.
44
00:01:57,180 --> 00:02:00,077
[Chitters]
Whoa!
45
00:02:00,112 --> 00:02:01,317
[Thud]
Ow! Ow.
46
00:02:01,318 --> 00:02:03,018
There he is!
47
00:02:03,353 --> 00:02:06,697
Hey.
[Wheezes]
48
00:02:06,698 --> 00:02:08,352
[Coughs]
49
00:02:08,353 --> 00:02:09,540
Hold on.
50
00:02:09,541 --> 00:02:13,984
[Inhales sharply]
51
00:02:14,146 --> 00:02:16,318
[Coughs]
52
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:20,283
- And he's a preda-dork!
- Did you just come up with that?
53
00:02:20,284 --> 00:02:21,984
You should do improv, soldier!
54
00:02:21,985 --> 00:02:24,357
[Machineguns firing]
55
00:02:24,392 --> 00:02:26,905
♪♪
56
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:29,112
Please.
57
00:02:29,146 --> 00:02:30,800
[Baby giggles]
Thank you.
58
00:02:30,801 --> 00:02:32,455
Now I can climb out.
59
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:35,732
Wait...
[Gurgling]
60
00:02:40,801 --> 00:02:42,525
Free baby, yeah.
61
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:47,215
Are you ready for
the summer soldier, bitches?
62
00:02:47,525 --> 00:02:49,663
Mom, Dad, like, hello.
I'm getting the operation.
63
00:02:49,698 --> 00:02:53,974
- Absolutely not.
- I didn't kill little red plastic commie men
64
00:02:53,975 --> 00:02:57,317
in Korea so you could mutilate yourself.
65
00:02:57,318 --> 00:03:00,191
I hate you both. Don't you know
how embarrassing it is to be,
66
00:03:00,215 --> 00:03:02,869
- like, the only girl with a slab?
- Trust the slab!
67
00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:04,524
The slab keeps your feet
on the ground.
68
00:03:04,525 --> 00:03:08,352
- The slab means stability!
- [Bleep] the slab!
69
00:03:08,353 --> 00:03:11,629
- She didn't mean that, dear.
- Yes, she did.
70
00:03:11,663 --> 00:03:14,112
My baby hates me.
71
00:03:14,146 --> 00:03:19,974
♪♪
72
00:03:20,008 --> 00:03:21,767
[Crashing]
73
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,732
Oh, did I do that?
74
00:03:23,767 --> 00:03:29,717
♪♪
75
00:03:30,698 --> 00:03:32,398
[Gunshot]
76
00:03:33,663 --> 00:03:35,145
I got your dick!
77
00:03:35,146 --> 00:03:38,112
♪♪
78
00:03:38,146 --> 00:03:39,524
[Marching band music plays]
79
00:03:39,525 --> 00:03:41,629
♪♪
80
00:03:41,663 --> 00:03:44,812
[Clicking]
[Crowd booing]
81
00:03:44,813 --> 00:03:46,317
[Silence]
82
00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:49,560
[Cheering, marching band plays]
83
00:03:49,594 --> 00:03:52,284
[Roars]
84
00:03:52,318 --> 00:03:54,974
♪♪
85
00:03:55,008 --> 00:03:58,146
- Give me your money!
- Help! Help!
86
00:04:01,974 --> 00:04:04,724
Man: Who's that?
♪♪
87
00:04:05,491 --> 00:04:08,250
Won't somebody help me?
88
00:04:09,318 --> 00:04:12,112
You won't stop me,
masked stranger!
89
00:04:12,939 --> 00:04:14,593
[Roars]
90
00:04:14,594 --> 00:04:16,353
Oh, that'll do it!
91
00:04:18,318 --> 00:04:20,318
[Cheering]
92
00:04:20,353 --> 00:04:23,284
Woman: We love you,
whoever you are!
93
00:04:23,318 --> 00:04:25,018
Woman #2:
Where'd the pool guy go?
94
00:04:25,043 --> 00:04:27,043
[Roars]
95
00:04:30,284 --> 00:04:31,766
Peanuts!
Get your peanuts here!
96
00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:33,525
Aah! Aah!
97
00:04:33,889 --> 00:04:35,707
Ew.
98
00:04:35,939 --> 00:04:37,007
[Screaming]
99
00:04:37,008 --> 00:04:39,077
[Laughs]
100
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,524
[Alarm ringing]
Oh.
101
00:04:40,525 --> 00:04:43,318
Stupid building codes.
102
00:04:43,353 --> 00:04:44,766
Hey, guys, does this
look weird to you?
103
00:04:44,767 --> 00:04:46,283
Mine looks like Richard Nixon.
104
00:04:46,284 --> 00:04:49,594
Can we hang out one time
without studying our vaginas?
105
00:04:49,629 --> 00:04:50,800
- Aah!
- Oh!
106
00:04:50,801 --> 00:04:52,560
- Ugh!
- Good day, Totally Spies.
107
00:04:52,594 --> 00:04:55,456
Your mis ... Jesus Christ,
put some pants on.
108
00:04:55,491 --> 00:04:57,318
Your mission ...
travel to South America
109
00:04:57,353 --> 00:04:59,042
and root out a cell of radicals
110
00:04:59,043 --> 00:05:01,146
threatening the puppet ruler
we control.
111
00:05:01,181 --> 00:05:03,836
These radicals are
teachers and artists.
112
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,800
- Who says blondes are dumb?
- Can we, like, go fight a guy
113
00:05:06,801 --> 00:05:08,421
dressed as a big rat or something?
114
00:05:08,422 --> 00:05:10,560
No, and to make sure
it goes smoothly,
115
00:05:10,594 --> 00:05:13,682
you'll be joined by Agent
Marshall on loan from the CIA,
116
00:05:13,717 --> 00:05:15,974
and, girls, don't
forget to take your gadgets.
117
00:05:16,008 --> 00:05:17,421
Whoosh!
118
00:05:17,422 --> 00:05:18,628
What is this?
119
00:05:18,629 --> 00:05:20,836
That is a cutesy,
cuddly curling iron.
120
00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:22,180
Fun!
121
00:05:22,181 --> 00:05:24,594
It packs a lethal dose
of polonium-210.
122
00:05:24,629 --> 00:05:26,329
Uh, fun?
123
00:05:26,698 --> 00:05:31,284
♪♪
124
00:05:31,318 --> 00:05:33,801
Hey, guys, look at their work.
125
00:05:33,836 --> 00:05:36,146
So much culture.
It's amazing.
126
00:05:36,181 --> 00:05:38,697
- And banned.
- Aah!
127
00:05:38,698 --> 00:05:39,766
Oop, sorry.
128
00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:41,455
- Is that too tight?
- Nice work.
129
00:05:41,456 --> 00:05:42,869
Hand me that cutesy,
cuddly curling iron.
130
00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:44,111
For the polonium?
131
00:05:44,112 --> 00:05:45,939
[Chuckles] No, gonna
shove it up his ass.
132
00:05:45,974 --> 00:05:48,422
I thought it was proven
that torture doesn't work.
133
00:05:48,456 --> 00:05:49,766
Depends on what
you're trying to do.
134
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:52,525
If the answer is have fun,
it definitely works.
135
00:05:54,594 --> 00:05:58,387
[Buzzing, man screaming]
[All gasp]
136
00:05:58,422 --> 00:06:03,422
[Whirring]
[Screaming continues]
137
00:06:03,456 --> 00:06:06,043
[Whirring continues]
138
00:06:09,215 --> 00:06:11,767
Guys, I think I have PTSD,
139
00:06:11,801 --> 00:06:15,905
- post-totally stressed disorder.
- Good one, Alex.
140
00:06:15,939 --> 00:06:17,283
[Cat yowls]
Ugh! Sam! Sam!
141
00:06:17,284 --> 00:06:20,250
- Twitch is not a spy!
- Not a spy!
142
00:06:20,284 --> 00:06:21,628
[Cat yowling]
143
00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:24,284
♪♪
144
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,181
[Wheezing]
145
00:06:27,215 --> 00:06:29,629
Do you need your
heart pills, Grandpa?
146
00:06:29,663 --> 00:06:32,181
[Grunting]
147
00:06:32,215 --> 00:06:34,387
But they're right here.
148
00:06:34,422 --> 00:06:36,318
[Grunting]
149
00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:38,697
I'm going to leave these here.
I promise.
150
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:41,284
[Grunting]
151
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:44,077
This time, I really
won't move them.
152
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,593
[Grunting]
153
00:06:45,594 --> 00:06:48,560
[Gagging, wheezing]
154
00:06:48,594 --> 00:06:50,294
Grandpa?
155
00:06:50,318 --> 00:06:52,181
Mr. Schindler, the Talmud says,
156
00:06:52,215 --> 00:06:55,629
"Whoever saves one life
saves the world entire."
157
00:06:55,663 --> 00:06:57,905
I ... I could have saved more.
158
00:06:57,939 --> 00:07:00,836
Oscar, you saved over
1,000 Jews
159
00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:03,456
and one man who claims
to be a werewolf.
160
00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:04,766
This watch, I ...
[Howling]
161
00:07:04,767 --> 00:07:06,663
I could've bought two more
with this watch.
162
00:07:06,698 --> 00:07:08,317
No.
163
00:07:08,318 --> 00:07:11,318
This car, Goethe offered me
30 Jews for this car,
164
00:07:11,353 --> 00:07:13,284
but I just set
the radio presets the way
165
00:07:13,318 --> 00:07:15,836
I wanted them,
and I turned him down.
166
00:07:17,491 --> 00:07:19,939
Once, I saved a dozen Jews
but had no money
167
00:07:19,974 --> 00:07:23,939
to tip my shoeshine boy,
so I gave him a Jew.
168
00:07:23,974 --> 00:07:26,387
Itzhak, your record player
I gave you...
169
00:07:26,422 --> 00:07:28,801
- Yes?
- ...the one I nicknamed
170
00:07:28,802 --> 00:07:29,905
little Anna, and you said,
171
00:07:29,939 --> 00:07:31,455
"What a strange name
for a record player,"
172
00:07:31,456 --> 00:07:33,732
and then I chuckled
but didn't explain why.
173
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:35,317
Just go, Oscar.
174
00:07:35,318 --> 00:07:38,077
We'll erect a monument
to you... or something.
175
00:07:38,112 --> 00:07:39,317
Uh, something modest.
176
00:07:39,318 --> 00:07:40,938
Don't ... don't spend
too many Jews.
177
00:07:40,939 --> 00:07:42,888
I'll tell them. Goodbye.
178
00:07:42,923 --> 00:07:48,475
♪♪
179
00:07:50,974 --> 00:07:54,974
There can only be one lord
of the ring, Saruman.
180
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,732
[Gasps]
181
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,111
Ugh!
182
00:07:58,112 --> 00:08:01,112
The Eagles.
My message got through.
183
00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:04,801
It did. How could we pass up
playing for Gandalf the Grey?
184
00:08:04,836 --> 00:08:08,284
- Now sit back and take it easy.
- Ooh!
185
00:08:08,318 --> 00:08:12,284
Another morning singing to
my beloved, disgusting town.
186
00:08:12,318 --> 00:08:15,956
- Great. French Anne Hathaway is back.
- If she comes over here,
187
00:08:15,957 --> 00:08:18,769
I'm blind, deaf, and mute,
got it?
188
00:08:18,870 --> 00:08:22,256
♪ There goes the beggar
with his remaining limbs ♪
189
00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:25,118
♪ He sold his legs
to buy some pants ♪
190
00:08:25,153 --> 00:08:26,877
♪ The street whores
are the grossest ♪
191
00:08:26,912 --> 00:08:28,612
♪ Syphilised all their noses ♪
192
00:08:28,636 --> 00:08:31,532
♪ Just another normal day
in feudal France ♪
193
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:34,946
- Help us, Belle. [Grunts]
- Help yourself and learn to read.
194
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:38,256
♪ There goes the taxman
with his iron shackles ♪
195
00:08:38,291 --> 00:08:41,222
♪ Now watch this asshole
do a dance ♪
196
00:08:41,256 --> 00:08:42,911
♪ The death cart rolls on by ♪
197
00:08:42,912 --> 00:08:45,050
♪ The corpses piled high ♪
198
00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:49,056
♪ Just another normal day
in feudal France ♪
199
00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:52,360
♪ Oh, isn't this disgusting ♪
200
00:08:52,394 --> 00:08:56,050
♪ The well is full of poop
and human pee ♪
201
00:08:56,084 --> 00:08:59,222
♪ Oh, isn't it charming ♪
202
00:08:59,256 --> 00:09:02,946
♪ How the children think
they'll live past 23 ♪
203
00:09:02,981 --> 00:09:04,774
♪ Just another normal day ♪
204
00:09:04,808 --> 00:09:06,324
♪ Just another normal day ♪
205
00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:08,256
♪ Just another normal day ♪
206
00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:14,341
♪ Just another freakin' day
in feudal France ♪
207
00:09:14,536 --> 00:09:16,007
[Coughs]
208
00:09:16,008 --> 00:09:18,560
Oh, [bleep, bleep] me.
209
00:09:18,594 --> 00:09:20,422
Oh, my God.
The bipods are here.
210
00:09:20,456 --> 00:09:21,835
They're tripods.
211
00:09:21,836 --> 00:09:23,111
- Count them, three legs.
- Wait.
212
00:09:23,112 --> 00:09:25,077
That's not two legs and a penis?
213
00:09:25,112 --> 00:09:27,836
Uh, I don't think so, but maybe.
214
00:09:27,870 --> 00:09:30,387
Uh, I really think it's a penis.
215
00:09:30,422 --> 00:09:32,491
Ugh, my dick!
216
00:09:32,525 --> 00:09:35,594
Yo, Troy, did you really sign up
for the high-school musical?
217
00:09:35,629 --> 00:09:38,767
- Yeah, cool, right?
- Hell no, it's not cool.
218
00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:41,884
♪♪
219
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:44,011
♪ Dancing is for losers ♪
220
00:09:44,045 --> 00:09:46,148
♪ Singing is for dorks ♪
221
00:09:46,183 --> 00:09:48,976
♪ The musical is a dead art form ♪
222
00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:51,080
♪ Beggars can't be choosers ♪
223
00:09:51,114 --> 00:09:52,838
♪ The only choice is sports ♪
224
00:09:52,873 --> 00:09:55,217
♪ My asshole keeps
the bench warm ♪
225
00:09:55,252 --> 00:09:57,217
♪ Keep your, keep your
brain on the ball ♪
226
00:09:57,252 --> 00:09:58,768
♪ Keep your, keep your
brain on the ball ♪
227
00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:00,423
♪ Keep your, keep your... ♪
228
00:10:00,424 --> 00:10:02,597
Guys, guys, I'm ... I'm confused.
229
00:10:02,631 --> 00:10:04,493
You want me to choose basketball
over the musical?
230
00:10:04,528 --> 00:10:07,390
- Damn straight.
- Dude, listen to the song.
231
00:10:07,424 --> 00:10:09,124
So you're telling me not to sing,
232
00:10:09,148 --> 00:10:11,217
and you're doing it
in the form of a song.
233
00:10:11,252 --> 00:10:13,252
Sounds like someone
needs another verse.
234
00:10:13,286 --> 00:10:15,390
♪ If an athlete chooses music ♪
235
00:10:15,424 --> 00:10:17,459
♪ Light his ass on fire ♪
236
00:10:17,493 --> 00:10:20,252
♪ Kill his parents with a rock ♪
237
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:23,251
It's just kind of hypocritical.
That's all I'm saying.
238
00:10:23,252 --> 00:10:25,114
We don't have time to argue
with you all day, man.
239
00:10:25,148 --> 00:10:27,080
We told Coach we'd help
pass out condoms
240
00:10:27,114 --> 00:10:28,907
with abstinence slogans on them.
241
00:10:28,942 --> 00:10:31,080
- Yeah.
- Abstinence!
242
00:10:33,148 --> 00:10:36,689
♪ Your ass looks great ♪
243
00:10:36,724 --> 00:10:37,530
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
244
00:10:37,631 --> 00:10:39,044
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
245
00:10:39,045 --> 00:10:40,769
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
246
00:10:40,804 --> 00:10:41,910
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
247
00:10:42,011 --> 00:10:43,423
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
248
00:10:43,424 --> 00:10:45,148
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
249
00:10:45,183 --> 00:10:46,182
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
250
00:10:46,283 --> 00:10:47,630
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
251
00:10:47,631 --> 00:10:49,597
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
252
00:10:49,631 --> 00:10:51,597
- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.
253
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,998
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