Original subtitles

Tonight, on Part 1 of Scruples, she was young and innocent. Oh, I have so much

growing up to do.

Edouard, will you help me?

Determined to survive.

Next time I fall in love, it is going to be on my terms. It hurts so much. No,

Don. To become one of the richest, most desirable women in the world.

I love you.

I want to be your mistress.

A sensuous world of seductive people.

Satisfying every need.

Well, this is the night.

I'm saying yes to everything.

Find me a face that talks to me and I'll talk to you about an assignment. You're

looking for a miracle.

Every desire.

Pretend I'm your little baby.

That's what I like the best.

Because everything was affordable, beautiful, and available.

Woman, have you no scruples?

Not a one.

um

Mrs. Eichhorn?

Morning, Hank.

I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about Mr. Eichhorn. He was a fine man, a

wonderful man to work for.

Thank you.

When you see the house, Hank, let him up over the water, please.

Yes, ma'am.

Goodbye, darling.

Hank, why don't you get in? We'll take a drive.

But don't you have to get back? I mean, Scruples is opening today, isn't it?

Yes, well, there's time. It's still early.

Whatever you say, Mrs. Eichhorn.

It's time for a drink, Hank.

Come on, I made a reservation.

Hank, would you pour us a drink, please?

I'd like to make a toast.

To this motel and to Ellis Icahn, who would approve, by the way.

He would not only approve, he would applaud.

Good morning, Mrs. Eichhorn. Good morning, Edward.

Excuse me.

Thanks for coming.

Marianne, it's fantastic.

I think we've done it. It's a bit marvellous.

I can't keep up with all the applications for charge accounts.

That's great.

Call the bistro for me, please. No, no, no. Call Montmaison and make lunch

reservations. Ask them to chill a bottle of Dom Perignon. Oh, this is sweet.

Better make that a magnum. I think it's celebration time.

Okay.

Make the reservations for three. Do you know where they are?

Uh, Valentina's in her studio, and Mr.

Elliot is with Maggie McGregor. Okay.

Spider, don't you think this is a bit much? I mean, I'm practically naked on

network television.

You'll have to give your viewing audience a little eye candy, Maggie,

along with the show business gossip.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

Ooh.

Damn you, you're right.

You always right?

Yep. You're not even gay.

Nope.

But I'll be there.

No, Marianne. Artistic differences.

Okay, you tell Billy I'll be right there. Okay.

His master's voice.

Or is it his mistress's?

I haven't quite figured that out yet.

Oh, Maggie.

You are a troublemaker.

That's my job.

Those artistic differences between you and Val. Could they be Melanie?

Maggie, you are a troublemaker.

Yep.

Susie, can you get it, please?

Sus...

Hello,

Valentin here.

Tell Billy I'd love to have lunch with her. But if Mr. Elliot is joining us,

I'm busy.

I insist that you take the money, Wilhelmina.

You'll be going to college in the fall.

You should have a whole new wardrobe.

Nice things.

And all your own.

No more hand-me-downs.

I don't care about clothes, Aunt Wilhelmina.

And I can't take your money.

Of course you can, child.

But you mustn't tell any of our rich relatives about the money.

Well, they want me to go to secretarial school.

Nonsense.

You may be a poor relation.

But you are still a Winthrop.

You will go to Wellesley.

I don't want to go to Wellesley.

I don't want to go to college. I want... It may be... It sounds... It might sound

silly to you, but I would love to go to Paris.

To Paris?

Well, French was my best subject in school, and it's the only thing I've

ever really done well.

Those sugar cookies are delicious, aren't they?

But they can be very fattening.

I know.

And I can't take your check.

I just can't take your check, Aunt Wilhelmina.

Why ever not, child?

Your savings is all the money you have in the world, and I know that.

I have everything I need or want.

Take the money, child.

Do it for me.

Use it while you're young.

I know a family in Paris.

I'll make the arrangements.

I love you.

I love you too, child.

I love you.

Madame de Verdulac?

I'm Wilhelmina Winthrop. Come in. I was expecting you.

Let me help you with your suitcase. No, it's all right. I can take it, thank

you. Okay.

I'll show you to your room.

This is your room.

Do you like it?

Wow. Are you hungry?

I'm famished.

Good. I will go and prepare dinner.

Why don't you invite?

You are in trouble, right?

Willie Nina.

Yes, madam.

I have two daughters away at boarding school.

It would be very nice to have you here with me.

You have an excellent appetite.

Merci beaucoup.

No, merci.

Merci is enough.

Oh, Willemina, I don't want to embarrass you. It is just that I want you to speak

the language properly.

You cannot embarrass lovers in Paris, will you, Mina?

It wasn't that.

You know, your hair would look very good combed in the style she was wearing,

like that, pushed back.

No, it wouldn't look the same on me.

Oh.

Could we get something to eat, possibly?

In France, nobody eats between meals.

Out of respect for one's figure.

But I'm starving.

Good.

A cup of tea, perhaps?

Sit here.

No,

no, no, no, no, no.

Do you dance?

No. It's a pity.

I was made to go to dancing school when I was little, but I just hated it

because I was so much taller than the boys in the class.

I don't mean that kind of dancing. I mean ballet.

Modern.

Oh, yes.

Tons up the muscles.

It's very good for the proper fit of one's clothes.

Even more important for posture.

My clothes never fit anyway.

Something will be done about that.

Edouard!

Aunt Lillian!

Excuse me a minute.

Aunt Lillian, what a pleasant surprise.

How are you? Comment vas-tu? Très, très, très bien. Oui, merci.

This is my nephew.

Count Edouard de la Côte de Grasse.

Wilhelmina Winthrop. She's staying with me.

Enchanté.

Thank you.

Oh,

I regret, Aunt Lydia, and I cannot. I must not keep the Board of Governors of

the Jockey Club waiting.

Okay, je comprends. Au revoir.

Je te téléphonerai. Oui.

Mademoiselle.

Wilhelmina.

There is a little boutique right around the corner, Avenue Victor Hugo.

They have the most fabulous clothes you have ever seen.

Why don't we go and just look?

No. Just try them on.

Madame, please. I will not go into a shop, stand in front of a mirror, and

try on clothes. I already know how they're going to fit.

Oh, please.

Please, madame.

Okay, love. Let's have some tea.

I have asked the shopkeeper for you to try them on in the privacy of your own

room.

If you don't like them, we can always exchange them. Oh, send them back.

The scarf is mine.

Wilhelmina, will you join us?

Oh,

you're simply beautiful.

Enchanting.

Oh, Edouard does not always dress like this at this time of the day, but he's

been initiated into the jockey club today.

And as part of the ritual, I must drink a full bottle of champagne all by

myself.

Well, I'm here to ask Miss Wintrop to accompany me, Aunt Lillian.

With your permission, of course.

Of course.

Then would you do me the honor, Wilhelmina?

Me?

The initiation is such a solemn and solitary piece of business, I'll be in

desperate need to know there is moral support close by.

Please.

All right.

Merci beaucoup.

I finished my bottle of champagne in record time, I'm told.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Well, in celebration, I've ordered us a bottle of champagne to drink at our

leisure.

You like champagne?

Always wanted to find out.

If you have no plans, I'd like for us to spend the afternoon together.

After I change, of course.

Madame, I've been expecting me for lunch.

I'll call Aunt Lillian. I'm sure it'll be all right.

All right.

Merci.

To Willem... Forgive me, but I just cannot go on calling you Willem. It's

much too starly, too tonic.

It's not you at all.

There must be something more in keeping.

Willie, well, Willie.

No, no.

No, Willie, no, not right. Not really American.

Billy.

How do you like Billy?

Yes, I like him.

Hey, then Billy it is.

To...

Hmm, I like it.

You and Edouard have seen the great deal of each other these last few months.

I'm delighted.

He's picking me up here this afternoon, and in the afternoon she's taking me to

his parents' country home. Is that all right?

Of course.

Our Edouard is very serious.

And if he's taking you to his country home... He has probably spoken to his

father and mother about it.

His what?

Robert.

He's a French aristocrat.

The family is most important.

They must be consulted first.

Consulted about what?

Oh, you did not know.

I will not spoil the moment.

Madame, are you talking about marriage?

Edouard and me?

A wedding gown in this collection.

It's going to be soon very appropriate.

I have to go.

Bye.

You

said there

were stables.

Oh, it's over there, a few hundred meters.

May I see the horses?

There are no horses.

Your horses?

We suspect the last of our caretakers ate the last of our horses.

Edouard, I can never tell when you're being serious.

I'm serious now, darling.

You know, I've had a growing compulsion to show you all this.

Ever since we met.

This is me.

Our heritage.

What is it? What's the matter?

Your father.

Do you think he would approve of me?

Of course he would.

If he were alive.

Edouard, are you asking me to marry you?

No.

If I were asking you to marry me, you could say no.

Therefore... therefore I'm imploring you to marry me.

I love

you.

This would be ours.

Such as it is.

Yours and mine, madame la comtesse.

What is it?

I don't know.

Oh, I have so much growing up to do.

Eduardo, will you help me?

Of course.

Poor darling, you're shaking.

It's always like that the first time.

Is it that obvious?

That charming.

Fowling that's done right vandalism. What do you do?

Entirely appropriate.

An ancestor of mine led the battle to drive the Vandals out of France a

thousand years or so ago.

Such endeavors always led to as much mixing of blood as the letting of it.

Oh, no grief for a broken chair or for any of this.

There's nothing here that our money won't provide.

Our money?

Yes. Once we are married off, your money will be ours.

Madame Raconte.

Is something wrong?

I have no money.

A poor relation.

Edouard, is that why you wanted to marry me?

Because of the money you thought I had?

I thought you understood how it is with people like us.

Well, I do now.

Please take me home.

I think I have enough money to pay for the gas.

There is no need to leave, Billy.

I can't say who now, madame.

It's all my fault.

I made the wrong assumption.

So did Edouard.

But he's distraught.

Billy, you have to understand.

French aristocrat without money must marry money.

It's a secret obligation.

To his parents, to himself, to the future of his family.

It's a way to hold on to the land.

Are you going back to Boston?

No, I'm going to New York to a secretarial school.

My relatives, the rich Winthrops, would call it purposeful practicality.

You see, I don't have very much money left.

But he was very much in love with you.

On his terms.

And I was in love with him, you know.

Next time I fall in love, it is going to be on my toes. No. It hurts so much. No,

darling, no.

Come. Come to me.

Come.

That's beautiful.

Beautiful.

I like him with the hair. That's great.

Beautiful. Ah, yes, the arms. I like the arms. Very dramatic.

Wonderful. That's great.

Beautiful. Lean back. That's great. Keep that one going. You really look gorgeous

today, honey.

Turn. That's great.

Great. That's beautiful. Watch your lips a little bit.

Wonderful. Oh, that's beautiful.

Oh, that's sexy.

Sexy? Not too sexy. This is catalog stuff. Remember that. Okay?

Great.

Beautiful. Oh, that's it.

Um... Get into the other net, okay?

Don't get too sexy. It's your fault, Spider.

Come on, none of that talk now. This is work time.

This is magic time.

Have me change.

Come on. No, come on.

Magic time. This is a work session. You know that. When did that ever stop you?

Well,

we could give the client a little extra time, I guess.

Later? Much later.

I smelled smoke. I was worried. I... Gauloise.

Beg pardon?

Gauloise. Cigarette.

Haven't you ever smelled them before?

No, no. Very provincial of you.

Fashions and interiors magazines. Miss Toppingham's office?

Yes, I'll put you through. Hang on.

No. You may leave your portfolio.

Oh, no, I'm not a model. I'm a secretary.

That's handled by personnel.

Yes, I know. They sent me here just in case.

I'm sorry. There's nothing at the moment.

You know, you should think about becoming a model.

I, uh... Oh, I don't really think I like the odds. Thank you. Anyway, bye.

Would you tell Miss Toppingham I'm here?

You rat.

Where were you last night?

Last night?

I thought it was tonight.

It will be after I make a phone call.

Miss Toppingham.

Oh, Spider, you know I can't disturb her.

Tonight.

Don't forget.

I won't.

Fashions and Interiors Magazine's Miss Toppingham's office.

I know it's a worthwhile charity, but I give at the apartment.

Still shooting catalog stuff, I see. I want to work for the best in this

business, Miss Toppingham, and that's you.

I want to shoot your editorials.

I have my photographers.

What do you think of that one?

Interesting.

Pretty.

But baculous.

His face doesn't say anything.

I'm looking for a face that has something to say.

And that one doesn't talk to you?

It doesn't even whisper.

Find me a face that talks to me, and I'll talk to you about an assignment.

You're looking for a miracle.

No, Mr. Elliott.

You're looking for a miracle.

Can I help you in with those?

No.

Uh, I was just trying to be a good neighbor.

The Ford Model Agency told me to come over for some test pictures.

They think maybe I could be a model.

You are Spider Elliott.

Oh, of course I'm Spider. Come in.

I'm sorry. Come right on in. I haven't got much time.

I had trouble finding your tenement.

I have to get back to the Barbers and Hotel for Women. My daddy calls every

night as soon as the rates change.

Well, listen, why don't you take off your coat and why don't you put it on

the bed over there?

And when you get through with that, stand back here underneath the skylight.

Natural light's all we're going to need.

Ah, excuse me. Excuse me.

Hello? Oh, hi. All right.

I think I was rude. I want to apologize.

Perhaps I can offer you a drink?

Oh, yeah, that would be great.

Maybe some other time, okay?

Of course.

Hey, wait a second.

I hope this won't spoil your party.

Sid, why don't you sit in the stool down there, okay, on the end of the platform?

And look off in this direction over here.

Great, great.

Take a couple of deep breaths, all right?

Two...

And hold this one for about ten minutes, okay?

Ten minutes?

How old are you, what's your favorite food, and who was the first boy that you

ever kissed?

Nineteen, Ice Cream, and Jimmy Jotito.

Tell me the first thing that comes into your mind. I hate it when people ask me

that. So do I. I've never done that one before.

Why don't you just unbutton that button?

Now I've got an idea.

Yeah, that's good. Now, let's throw your head forward.

And on the count of three, you're going to throw it back.

One, two, four.

Three. Beautiful.

Now say something profound.

Golden summers kiss your eyes. Smiles awake when you arise.

Sleep pretty, baby. Whoa, wait, wait, wait. What's that?

It's a lullaby my mother used to recite to me. No, it won't do. Try a little

Oscar Wilde. Maybe it'll check out. How about some Woody Allen?

Right there, okay. You're dangerous.

You're beautiful, huh?

I think I'm falling in love with you.

You're crazy.

I'm serious.

Now give me a hand.

Feel that?

I'm not joking.

I think I better go.

No, no, wait, wait, wait. I still have six more pictures left on the roll. I

can't just develop half a roll. You know, that would have been so funny.

Here, hold right there.

You told me at the Ford agency that you were a chaser. What? But they didn't

tell me you were certified.

It's all your fault. Please don't go. It's time for the race to change.

Promise me that you won't get married right away. You'll at least give me a

chance. I don't make promises.

Yeah, I'll kill myself.

Bye-bye.

I've come by for the drink.

Do you still have the strength to lift a glass?

What?

Oh, that's work. Work. I'm a photographer.

That was one of my guesses.

A beautiful girl that moves in and out? A photographer?

Or a Mac?

A Mac.

What's a Mac?

A pimp.

Come on, get the glasses.

Are you good at it?

Yeah, terrific.

I'm in photography.

Oh, uh, yeah, well, I'm better than the jobs I get.

Here, let me open that.

Yeah. Got a corkscrew? A what? Corkscrew.

Uh, hmm, a... Just here.

Okay.

Why do some of your family call you Michael and some call you Spider?

Um, because, um, Michael's my real name, Spider's my nickname.

It's after Spider-Man comic books. Yeah.

You see, my kids' sisters used to love Spider-Man.

But my mom and dad, they call me... Michael.

But I refuse to have a neighbor called Spider.

I'm allergic to them.

I will call you Elliot.

Okay.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. How did you know all that about me?

The postman has twice left your mail with mine. That's the reason why you

have twice found it under your door.

Ah.

And you, uh, read other people's mail.

It is perfectly honorable to read anything on the outside of an envelope

or a card. My father was a postman. He lived by the truth.

In France, though, right? Mm-hmm.

And then that explains the girl was?

I just light them and leave them burning.

That's an indulgence to homesickness and loneliness.

Well, I don't think that you're going to be lonely for long.

Are you flirting with me?

Flirting? Me?

Good.

It is a poor excuse for a cozy country kitchen.

You know, this is very unfair because I do not know what you do.

You're a little too sexy to be the average model, despite the portfolio.

And you don't have a straight job, and I ruled out Hooker the first week as you

get up way too early.

But there's money there somewhere because the clothes that you're wearing

aren't off the rack.

They are originals.

A Valentino nail, original.

Oh, you're a designer?

Oh, you're terrific.

At least better than the jobs I don't get.

Spider,

spider, spider.

A nickname is a sign of affection.

How many sisters do you have?

Six.

Six? You're Catholic.

No, no, just three sets of twins.

Oh, I see.

You must like them, no?

Like them?

I love them.

Yes. You are the kind of man who really likes women. Really.

Really. I do.

Really. Listen, you are... What about you? Do you have family? My mother was a

fitter for Pierre Balmain. I was a seamstress.

She died last year.

American fashions are influenced by the French, so I came here. Voilà.

The camembert is just ripe enough. We must eat it before it runs right off the

plate.

You know, you bought two bottles of wine.

Did you have me in mind when you were doing that?

You aren't my only neighbor.

You're flirting with me?

Certainly not.

Oh, I was just asking.

It will be a miracle if we even become friends.

I'll drink to that.

Today seems to be a day for miracles.

Cheers. Good

morning,

sir. Morning, Dave.

In Japan, Mr. Eichhorn? Oh, thanks, Marianne. Good to be back.

Was it a good trip?

Oh, very good. The sun coldness.

Everything fine on the flight?

I don't know. I slept the whole way.

Oh, Mr. Eichhorn, I don't think you've met my new secretary.

This is Billy Winthrop.

How do you do?

Winthrop?

Boston? Yes.

Do you have any relation to Dr., um... Hosea.

Hosea Winthrop?

He was my father.

Was he?

Our medical foundation funded his research.

He was very dedicated.

Yes, sir, he was.

Are you?

Yes. Good.

And the sale of Skyhawk Airlines has been okayed by the Federal Aviation

Bureau and the FCC.

And the stock tender offers for Banco de Lisbon and Royal Mining Limited have

been made as you requested.

And that's about it.

She's awfully young, isn't she?

A Winthrop girl.

Oh, she's extremely capable.

She passed the personnel examination with flying colors.

And she certainly is attractive, don't you think?

Distracting.

Do you want me to see about finding a replacement?

No, of course not.

I don't expect to be traveling quite as much in the near future, Marianne. Which

means more of a workload here, and you'll be needing more than one

secretary.

Better make it three to be on the safe side.

Is it all right if the other two girls are attractive?

You can't discriminate in our hiring policies.

Safety in numbers.

I beg your pardon.

I'll get right on it.

So tell me already, what is he like? Who?

Your boss.

Tell us what's his name.

He's a wheeler-dealer.

Mover, shaker, he buys and sells things.

Land, banks, industries, airlines. Oh, that's what he does. What is he like?

I don't know. He's impressive, I guess.

Okay, we'll do it by the numbers.

What does he look like?

Jewish Cary Grant. Oh, seriously?

Ma'am! On a scale from one to ten.

What? Well, I weight my men on a scale from one to ten, like earthquakes.

Well, what does it take to shake you up?

Seven. Oh, yeah? Hmm, 6.5. It's been a while. What would you do if you found a

10?

Marry him.

He sure is married?

I don't know. I'm not sure.

Jessica, this is ridiculous.

He doesn't even know I'm alive.

Well, he's not alive. He doesn't know you're alive.

Can I have an affair with him?

I'd be afraid to.

What?

He's a 12.

Hmm.

Tell Mr. Barry Brooks that Valentino Nail, the assistant to Mr. Pierre

Balmain, would like to see him.

I'm here from Paris and I have no time to waste, so could you kindly ring Mr.

Brooks for me?

He's not seeing anyone.

Would you take him my portfolio?

I'm sorry, that's against policy.

It was not against the policies of either Mr.

Halston or Mr. Bill Blass to examine my portfolio.

Did they hire you?

I do get my foot in a door, somebody stomps on it.

Don't tell me not to get discouraged.

You know, you should get discouraged because you're fighting a losing battle.

Now my best friend turns against me. Well, thank you very much. Take it easy,

please.

This girl was I'm going to smoke. You're going about this whole thing the wrong

way because you want them to buy you on the basis of your design.

You're damn right. Say it.

Well, your designs scare them to death.

I think your stuff is exciting. I think it's sensational.

But you cannot ram your ideas down other people's throats, no matter how

brilliant they are.

So what do you suggest I do? If I don't get a job soon, you may starve to death.

I've got an appointment with Harriet Toppingham. She's a sacred monster of

fashions and interior magazines.

When?

She's gone off to Paris to see the new collections. When she gets back, okay?

A grub at a straw.

Your situation is as pitiful as mine. You must admit it. No, it's not, because

she saw the pictures that I took of that girl that the agency sent over.

You know, Melanie Adams? That's what her name turned out to be.

Melanie Adams.

Melanie Adams.

Elliot, I asked you to dinner to discuss my work, not your wetting instincts.

Then throw out your ideas about what you think women should dress like and look

what they're actually wearing.

You want me to copy?

What a disgusting, vulgar idea. Get out of my house. Shut up a minute and listen

to me.

Look at what people are actually wearing and then make designs that are better,

but not so different.

People hate to change. You know that. Nobody loves a prophet.

You may know what satisfies a woman's body, Elliot, but don't presume to know

what satisfies her mind.

Are you going to finish that cocoa bun?

No.

I have to work.

Life is not good enough.

What in the name of God was that for?

It's just a friendly pass. I'm trying to keep in practice.

Why did you leave Valmar, Miss O'Neil?

Well, there was no future there.

How do you like my designs? I think they're excellent. Oh, yes? Yes.

They're different, but they're not too different. They're perfect for today's

market. The problem is that my designer has an assistant with whom he's worked

for years.

But I don't run this business to make people happy. The assistant will have to

go.

When can you start? Oh, tomorrow.

Well, let's make it Monday morning. My designer's going to need a little

soothing. I'm very happy that you walked into Wilton Associates, Miss O'Neill.

So am I, Mr. Wilton.

You're very talented You're very lovely it's gonna be nice having you around

Thank you, thank you See you Monday morning

sharp Alan

Don't start whimpering, Sergio. The girl has talent and you need her.

If you're going to stamp your feet and have hysterics, you do it someplace

else. You'll regret this, Alan. Don't you dare threaten me. I'm boss here. And

you get that fancy behind of yours into the studio and start working.

And if you're planning a kinky shtick with her, I truly would not.

Mrs. Evans has the flu, Mr. Eckhart. Her doctor insists she stay in bed.

Yes, sir. I'll be right in. Thank you.

This is a hell of a time for her to get sick.

Crucial meeting with the Brazilian affiliates.

Marielle speaks fluent Portuguese. It's absolutely essential that she be here.

Check personnel. See if they've got anyone to fill in.

I already have, sir.

No luck.

Damn it.

But I did read the entire background file on the Rio operation myself.

I found that both Dr. Varunio and Senor Delamaya were educated in Paris.

I speak French fluently.

Don't you consider me competent, sir?

We'll find out.

Where are we going?

California. I got a place in La Jolla.

You'll have plenty of time to pick up what you need when we get there.

Yes, sir.

I think I owe you an apology.

No. Dr. Perugno was so captivated by you, I'm afraid he lost sight of his own

best interest.

Is that desirable or undesirable?

It's academic.

You had complete control of the desirability market here, Miss Winthrop.

Billy, please.

Better get packed.

The pilot wants to leave by three. I think he says there's a storm coming.

Yes, sir.

Hello? Oh, yes, sir. I'll be right down. Okay.

Mechanical problems.

Something to do with the gas lines. Hank says maybe tomorrow morning.

Oh. Sorry.

Oh, no, I'm not.

There's a library full of good books.

I'd really rather take a walk on the beach.

Mind if I go with you?

No. It's our beach.

It's your space.

You have no children?

No, my wife was devoted to raising thoroughbred dogs, though.

Damn good at it.

The past ten years since she died, I've been devoted to a little less than

acquisition, I'm afraid.

No fun at all?

Today was fun, I must confess.

Sounds pretty solid to me.

And I think it's raining.

Yeah.

Everybody tells you it doesn't rain in California, don't believe them.

When do you want dinner?

It's going to take me at least an hour to make myself look decent.

If you look any more decent, you'll be indecent.

So then it was off to secretarial school where I dutifully applied myself.

And, you know, they had us spend an entire week learning how to make up a

resume.

I think I'm boring both of you.

Nothing about you bores me, Billy.

As for Jeeves... That'll be all, Jeeves. Thank you.

May I ask you something?

For three days, I have been calling your butler Jeeves.

What is his real name?

That's his real name.

Jeeves. Really?

That's why I hired him.

I'll tell you something else.

I have a place in Florida guarded by a dog named Fido.

No.

You

must

be tired.

I am a little, yes.

Well, may I do that? I've always wanted to, and I never have.

Of course.

It has to be done gently.

May I?

I've had a wonderful... Thank you.

um

I love you.

Father figure.

Stuck. It's true.

You're rotten.

I adore you.

Why?

Did I seduce you?

Because you're a 12.

And I have no intentions of explaining that.

When you're my age, I'll be 98.

I don't care.

I love you.

And I want to be your mistress.

Thank you.

But no.

Why not?

Because I want you to marry me.

Oh, my.

Does that mean yes or no?

Well, uh... Ellis... Yes.

Yes.

What time's the plane going to be ready?

Whenever you want to leave.

Ellis Icahn, you are rotten.

I love it.

That's it.

That's it.

Beautiful. Beautiful. That's right. I want to see more eyes. Sultry, sultry

eyes.

Close on this. It's so nice.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

That's it. That's it.

Make love to me. Make love to me.

That's it.

That's it. Beautiful.

Beautiful. With the eyes. I want to see some eyes.

That's it.

All right.

Okay, ladies, tuck and push, all right?

Right to the left.

Okay.

I'll shoot a little color now, okay, Mel?

This is the cover shot, right here.

That's good.

Look right into the camera now.

That's beautiful.

Right there.

Good.

Great, great. Right into the camera.

Right here, right.

That's it, that's what I want to see.

No, Hank, would you move the baby a little bit?

Benny, check that light over there.

I want to focus. Are you okay?

Yeah.

I love it.

I love everybody watching me.

Why don't you take a break? Because we have to set some lights.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't touch my hair.

Take a rest.

Spider?

Problem?

Oh, no, no. She's just tired. It's been a long day.

She'll be all right.

She's really quite killingly beautiful, isn't she?

Ruthlessly killingly beautiful.

You make it sound like something out of Bonnie and Clyde.

Are you sleeping with her?

I hear you were a famous stud.

World-class, I believe. Is that rumor or fact?

That's a fact.

What about Melanie?

Rumor.

Quaint. Would you excuse me a minute? I want to see to Melanie.

Hey.

Where did you get these?

Miss Hoppingham. They're for energy.

The vodka was my idea.

And whose idea was it for you to kill yourself? Would you get dressed, please?

I'm taking you home. We'll finish up tomorrow. No, no, Spider, wait.

I don't want to be alone. I want to stay here.

Okay. I'll call the rep.

Okay, that's a wrap, everybody.

Let's meet at 8 o'clock in the morning, okay? Jean, would you knock the lights

off?

Baby Abe. Merci.

My French is getting better, no?

No.

Hello?

Yes, just a moment.

Alan, telephone.

Yes?

Ah, well, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Yes? I'll tell her.

Really, I will.

If that could do you any good, John. Bye.

Well, that was John Prince, the John Prince, Prince Originals, heaping peons

of praise on our new line.

I think he wants to steer you away from me, but I told him you were an Alan

Wilton original.

Thank you.

Have dinner with me tonight, Valentine.

Please don't say no.

Come to my place for a drink first.

I'd like you to see it. I think it has some charm.

I'd love to, Alan, but I promised a friend. I'm cooking.

Another time.

One of these nights you're going to say yes.

Jonathan, is anything wrong?

Not at all.

I was just giving your husband his quarterly medical checkup.

Is he all right?

If Ellis Eichhorn were 40, he would be amazing. At his age, he is a phenomenon.

Oh, wonderful.

See you later. Okay, bye-bye. See you, Marcella. Thank you.

Dr. Dorman says you're a phenomenon.

Hmm.

That's what I mind of a shooting star.

Brilliant for a time, but then it burns itself out.

Stop it.

Calendar fact.

Let's not go.

Let's just cancel the trip. We'll stay home, cuddle up in the apartment.

Disappoint all of Paris.

Not to mention your friend, Madame de Verdurac.

Yes.

Please.

For me.

All right.

I wouldn't want to live without you, darling.

No wonder we're not. You're going to have to.

Someday.

Come on.

You'd like me to be sitting up in my cloud, approving and applauding,

wouldn't you?

Instead of regretting?

Billy.

You're a very rich woman.

In your own right now, you'll be even richer after I die. I don't care. Don't

interrupt.

You'll be tempting to some men for the wrong reasons.

But when the right one comes along, you'll know it inside you.

You'll know it in your heart, in your mind. I already know it. Good.

Then you'll know what you're looking for.

But until you find it, keep busy with something you enjoy.

Something you're good at.

Other than sex with you, I don't know what that would be.

Well, fashion, perhaps.

You got class, kid.

I've already been examined.

Not by me.

And not today.

Woman, have you no scruples?

Not a one.

I want you to drink this, all of this, and then get some sleep.

Oh, Spider.

You're so good to me.

Hold me.

Pretend I'm your little baby.

That's what I like the best.

Finish it up.

Val.

Go back to bed, Elliot.

Ah, no, she's sick.

Yes, I see you were having to give her a mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.

Val, there's nothing going on between Melanie and myself.

But you wish it were.

Do you know what I don't understand?

Why do you care?

I care because everybody in this world seems to have a sex life but me. And

that's a situation which is going to be remedied.

And I'm not... Going to cook for your baby.

Alan, you said one of this night I would say yes.

Well, this is the night.

I'm saying yes to everything.

I'm sorry, Val. I really am.

It's all right, Hélène.

It really is.

No, it is not right.

I've waited all my life.

I can wait a little longer.

Please forgive me.

Shh.

I want to build a September issue

around this face.

We'll keep on working right up until the magazine goes to the printers. We're

going to have to slow down a bit because she's really getting exhausted.

Spider, don't take your role as Galahad too seriously. If you don't want to

finish the job, I'll find someone who does.

I'll do my best, all right?

My wife and I have been divorced for five years.

Did she enjoy your dinner?

Oh, yes. Wonderful.

I'm glad the other night wasn't the end of its valentine.

So am I.

Oh,

the woman with the golden dress.

I've seen her before.

Billie Eichhorn, her husband Ellis.

I've seen pictures, probably.

Columns? Newspaper?

I doubt it.

Ellis Eichhorn pays a public relations firm a quarter of a million dollars a

year to keep their names and faces out of print.

The stroke affected the left side of the brain.

Unfortunately, that's where the speech center is located.

Will he be able to communicate at all?

He is regaining the use of his right hand.

I'd like to take him to California, Jonathan.

We've got a beach house in La Jolla.

The dampness wouldn't be good for him.

Well, then I'll buy a house in Beverly Hills or Bel Air or something, and we

can visit the beach house when he starts to get better.

He will get better, won't he, Jonathan?

He'll need a local doctor and nurses. I'll make those arrangements.

It's just a matter of time.

I'm sorry, Billy.

I think we're going to love this new house Mary Ann found for us. It's in Bel

Air. This way we can spend weekends at the beach when we start feeling better.

What is it, darling?

This?

Hank, do you have a pencil or pen?

Coming right up.

You made the perfect choice, Marianne. Thank you, Mrs. Eichhorn.

Please call me Billy. You did when I was your secretary.

It wouldn't be right now, Mrs. Eichhorn.

Who's that?

Oh, that's Jake Cassidy, the new male nurse. He started this morning.

He doesn't quite look the part, does he?

He's all male, if that's what you mean.

He came highly recommended.

Dear Jessica, I spend as much time as I can with Ellis.

He enjoys being read to, biographies mostly, history and philosophy.

Wonder, wonders, I enjoy it myself.

We take walks every day and I've turned into a regular chatterbox. I tell Ellis

about my childhood.

It's almost as if I'm talking about another person. I've changed so much.

I'm even taking tennis lessons now, can you believe that?

I'm not very good at it, but the exercise is good for me.

And I think it amuses Ellis.

We figured out a way for Ellis to communicate using alphabet letters.

It's much easier for him than trying to write.

I just want to be with him for whatever time remains, but... Ellis has other

ideas, and he can be most persuasive even in shorthand.

I wanted my outside world to be something that Ellis could share. I

certainly don't need any more clothes.

But my shopping sprees allow me to put on, well, to put on a fashion show for

Ellis. What I bring home must be very good or very bad.

Because just yesterday, Ellis had a special message for me.

I think it was just being nice. But it is something that I might actually think

about.

Hello?

You got class, kid. Open your own shop.

My social life is practically nil. My choice, I guess, but I... Oh, I've made

a few friends, and Marianne flew out with some papers for me to sign. She's

still calling me Mrs. Eichhorn.

Well, Jessica, my dear friend, that's what my life has been like lately.

I guess life used to be so full that it makes the loneliness so much more

desperate now.

I'll write again later.

Bye-bye.

Here, let me take those for you, Mrs. Eichhorn.

Thank you.

How's Mr. Eichhorn, Jake?

He's about the same.

Jake, you're doing a wonderful job for him. I really want to thank you.

Well, I wish I could do something for you.

I mean, sometimes I think it's harder for you than it is for him.

You should relax.

Maybe go out.

Jake. No offense, ma'am, but I'd like to invite you to a party.

A party?

Yeah, some friends of mine in West Hollywood are having a Halloween party

Saturday night.

Costumes and all. I thought maybe you... Well, I thank you for the invitation,

Jake, but I don't think so.

Would you take these into the house for me, please?

Yes, ma'am.

But if you change your mind, let me know, huh?

Thank you.

I may have to open that shop after all.

Running out of places to buy things.

Look what I've been reduced to shopping for.

But I don't want you to think my day was a total loss, so you just wait. I think

you're going to like it.

Don't peek. No looking. Do something else.

You know, your wife was actually asked out to a party in West Hollywood, yes?

I hope you're going to like this. I love it.

Are you peeking? No, you're not peeking. All right, you're doing something else.

Now, the girl in the store told me this was a guaranteed mind-blower. Well,

that's what she said, anyway.

All right, I'm almost through here.

A couple more tucks and we've got it.

There.

All right.

How do you like it?

Not bad, huh?

And now for the pièce de résistance, we have the latest in the world of feminine

fashions.

How about that, baby?

Well, what serve you right if I did go?

Just think of all the stories you'd have to listen to.

I love you, Alice.

Morning. Good morning. How's Wilson Associates?

Fine. How's Melanie Adams Limited?

Likewise. Listen, there's a fashion photographic exhibit opening this

afternoon sponsored by Jacob Lace.

He's the publisher of...

Uh, fashions and interiors magazine.

I have a photograph hanging.

Do you want to come along with me?

Everybody in the trade is going to be there.

That doesn't smack of exclusivity.

How long are you and I going to go on being enemies?

As long as it will be impossible for us to be friends. That has a very French

ring to it. Irish.

Waiter, thank you.

What do you think?

Congratulations.

You too.

My dears, over here.

Spider, congratulations.

Your first showing, I presume. Only one picture, but it is the beginning.

And to you, Melanie, who made it all possible.

Spider, why don't you leave Melanie with me? I want to introduce her to some

people she should know.

You go talk to some of your old discards.

God knows enough of them here to fill a brothel.

I'll be fine with Harriet, Spider. Okay.

Do you think he's angry?

I couldn't care less.

I thought you two were head over heels.

Who ever gave you that idea?

We're living together.

Oh, no, we're not.

He's got me in, I swear, his own private studio nursing home.

It's so boring. There's no drinks, no nothing.

I'm so ashamed that you thought we were living together.

If you thought so, everyone must think so.

I never believed it.

You little French slut. I forbid you to talk like that.

Mr. Straight forbids me.

Is there anything as pathetic as a closet queen trying to convince himself

that he really wants to make it with a woman? That's in the past.

Is it?

Are you sure, Alan, my darling?

Can you look at me and tell me it's over?

You can't.

You want me, don't you?

Don't you, Alan?

Yes.

Jake, I don't know that this is such a good idea, really.

I thought you told me Mr. Icron said it's okay.

Well, I know, but I don't know any of your friends.

What kind of people are they?

Like I said, fun.

Come on.

Don't worry, Mrs. Icron. I'll take good care of you.

All right.

But no Mrs. Icron tonight, all right? It's just I'm Wilhelmina.

No last name.

Wilhelmina? Yes.

Okay.

Hey, Val!

No! Go, Elliot!

No, no, no, no.

I got the tomato soup here.

I got the milk.

I even got the crackers here.

I mean, what good is tomato soup without the crackers?

Come on.

What happened?

Nothing.

Never tell you.

Never.

Look, you can't just shut this thing up inside of you.

Not another will. Okay.

Oh,

Elliot.

How can the two of us be so smart, Alex, for some things?

And such miserable morons for others?

I don't know.

I'm the wrong person to ask about.

We are pals, aren't we?

Not lovers.

Or any other stupid things that get people in such trouble.

you

Jake? Jake?

What did you have to bring her here for?

That'll do her good.

And you, Jack, will do you good.

Somebody put something in my drink.

Mrs. Eichhorn, I'm really sorry.

I'll tell you what, we'll go for a coffee.

No, please just take me home, Jake.

Your cape, you forgot it. Just take me home.

What's going on here? Sorry, folks. Private property. I live here. What is

it? Do you have some identification, ma'am?

Officer, that's Mrs.

Eichhorn.

Ellis?

Is it Ellis, Marianne?

An hour ago.

My deepest sympathies.

Oh, my God.