Original subtitles

- In hip-hop when someone says a line

which we wish that we caught onto,

we say bars.

- Bars. - You know what I'm saying?

If we was chillin' with Shakespeare and he was like,

to be or not to be, we'd be like, bars.

- Bars. (audience laughing)

(band music)

- [Alexa] Please welcome Tig Notaro.

- Hi welcome to Under a Rock with Tig Notaro.

I don't watch a lot of TV or movies,

so I have a really hard time

recognizing a lot of famous people.

This talk show is me interviewing famous people

and trying to figure out who they are.

Please welcome

this person.

(band music) (audience clapping)

- Hi.

- [Tig] Hi.

- Hi I'm this person, how are you?

- I'm good. - You good?

- How are you? - I'm good.

- All right. (laughs)

Thank you for being here.

- Thank you, I'm a little nervous.

- Are you? - Yeah.

So back stage, there was a woman from India,

and she gave me this.

She said wear this for good luck.

- Okay.

- So this is supposed to like,

like,

make me just completely--

- Well, now I feel nervous.

(audience laughing)

- Do you want my beads?

- Yes.

- I got you.

I'm telling you this thing balances you out,

it qi's up.

- All right

- [Wyclef] Yeah that's rock.

- It's not working.

(audience laughing)

- It's not?

- It's not working. - It worked for me though.

- Do you want it back?

- [Wyclef] Yeah, yeah I'll rock 'em.

(audience laughs)

- And what do the bracelets on your hand do?

Anything in particular?

- Well these two are real special I got them from a friend.

This I was just at the mall

and I was like this is cool.

- What mall do you shop at?

- I shop in Jersey,

Willowbrook Mall.

- That's crazy,

I lived in Texas for a bit as a kid

and, um,

the mall we went to was called the Willowbrook Mall.

- Oh see,

can't even make that up I'm sure.

- And are you from New Jersey?

- Originally no.

- Okay, where are you originally from?

- Haiti.

- Haiti?

- [Wyclef] Yeah, Haiti.

- Wow, okay. - [Wyclef] Yeah.

I was born in the slums.

- Were ya?

- Mm-hmm.

Its so funny, I always tell my daughter that I grew up,

no electricity,

no clean water,

and I took a donkey to school.

- Rode one or just took one with you?

(audience laughing)

- Sometimes I rode it, you know what I mean,

sometimes I took it.

We used to play a game in this village in Haiti--

- Pin the tail.

(audience laughing)

- No not that one 'cause I was in Haiti

it was just different.

- Yeah.

- It was the game was called, we going to America.

So I'd get on the donkey and the kids would wave

and I'd go around the cemetery and come back

and they'd be like what did you bring us from America?

Yes,

that's how we escaped that whole poverty thing.

- [Tig] Wow that's--

- Through imagination, you know?

- And do you-

Are you happy to be here?

- I love it, I love it.

- I thought you said I love you when you said I love it.

(audience laughing)

- Je t'aime.

- I don't know what you're saying.

(audience laughing)

- I just said I love you in French.

- I'm French but I don't speak French.

- That's okay but you still French, je t'aime.

- Do you speak French?

- Oui, parlez-vous Francais?

- No.

(laughing)

- Where's your donkey now?

- Dead.

(audience laughing)

- On that,

(audience laughs)

(laughs) I'm going to ask you some questions.

Well first of all,

why did you come on this show?

I have to imagine it's a weird phone call.

- Not really.

- No, okay, so this is normal.

- No it's normal, it's quite amazing.

- What is amazing?

- To be with a person

- Uhuh

- who's just having a conversation with you.

- That's right. - You feel me?

- I do.

- Dap up.

- And so you just--

- Dap up, dap up, dap

when you say dap up its one.

One, one, dap up.

That's all, swag.

- Dap up. - Yep, swag.

- Can I do it?

But sit back, like you're not expecting it.

Dap up?

- Swag.

- [Tig] And then you say swag after?

- Yeah you gotta throw swag.

- Okay.

- Have it come from the stomach though.

- [Tig] Okay. - Swag.

- Dap up?

Swag

- Facts.

(audience laughing)

- You're an interesting fellow.

If you didn't have the job you have now,

what would you be doing?

- I'd probably be an incredible music teacher.

- Okay.

- And then as you can see

from the physicality,

if I needed to make money,

a stripper.

(audience laughing)

♪ Wanna wanna wanna ♪

♪ Wanna ♪

See I'm from the islands baby (laughs).

- So you would teach music or strip?

(audience laughing)

- I could actually do both.

- Are you a musician?

- Yes.

- Is that your, how you make your money?

- For sure.

- I feel like I might be on to you.

♪ When I'm hearing I'm on to you ♪

♪ I'm on to you I'm on to you ♪

It sounds like a song

♪ I'm on to you I'm on to you sounds like a song ♪

♪ I'm on to you I'm on to you ♪

♪ It sounds like a song ♪

♪ I'm on to you onto you on to you ♪

♪ Sounds like a song ♪

♪ I'm on to you onto you ♪

See I can just make shit up, you see what I'm saying?

(audience laughing)

(audience applauding)

You feel me?

Dap up.

- This is telling me you can do a handstand

and after everything you've done

I have no doubt you can do a handstand.

- Do I do a handstand here?

Is that okay?

You want me to do it?

- This is the only place.

- Okay let's do it right here.

You ready?

(beat boxing)

♪ Yeah baby ♪

(audience laughing)

(clapping)

- That was a, that was really,

really incredible.

Especially reflecting again on you saying

you were at all nervous.

(everyone laughs)

- I was!

This really helped me

- It seems like once you're beyond your nerves,

- I told you that

- Anything can happen.

Alexa give me a round of applause

- [Alexa] Okay

(clapping)

- Do you have, I know the guitar is a clue,

but do you have any other clues about yourself here?

- So here's a poem that I did for you

just to give you a clue. Right, you ready?

- Yes

- Ready or not, here I come,

the fact that you don't know me is killing me softly.

So, I'm just going to leave

and I'll be

gone to November, I'll be gone to November.

- I knew it

Alexa drum roll please

- [Alexa] Okay

(drum roll)

- I can't pretend like you're not

from the Fugees

This three time Grammy Award winning artist

first made a splash on the music scene as a member of

the most famous hip-hop groups of all time, The Fugees.

- [Tig] I knew it! I knew it!

I hope you have on camera how many times I said

I was on to this guy. He then moved-

and I haven't been onto a single guest so far,

but I haven't had any musicians.

He then moved onto a thriving solo career

and collaborated on hit records with musical icons including

Santana, Shakira, Lil Wayne, Paul Simon,

Gloria Estefan and Destiny's Child.

This year he released a new mix tape entitled,

Wyclef Goes Back to School.

Turns out my guest today, I'm just going to call you Wyclef.

- Guess you got me

- I did

I got you

Alexa how do you say thank you in French?

- [Alexa] Thank you in French is, Je vous remercie

- Merci beaucoup

- Merci

- Thank you

(water sounds)

(cat meows)

- What if Martin Luther stepped in the room.

Never stepped foot in the balcony?

What if they had a bullet proof car

instead of a drop top for Kennedy?

Malcolm X did this speech

what if I sat amongst the congregation

so when them boys scream, "Get your hands out my pocket",

I fire shots at the assassins?

Now I know you don't know me but

peep this ain't nothin new under the sun.

What if I had put blanks in Marvin Gayes father's gun?

- Bars

- [Wyclef] Facts

(laughter)