Original subtitles

Throughout history, humanity has sought to understand the mind.

Not just how it thinks, but what it is.

Some believe consciousness is merely an emergent property, just a trick of

neurons and electricity that can be controlled.

Some believe it controls us.

Our thoughts, our actions, our feelings. Some believe that we are not bound by it

at all.

that we can step outside of our self.

And once we do that, once we are no longer bound by our minds,

we are capable of anything.

Dreams, déjà vu, jamais vu, premonitions, they're all

just glimpses into our consciousness.

But this one, solipsism.

It's probably the most important concept in terms of studying the mind.

You see, solipsism is the philosophical idea that your mind

is the only one that exists, that everything else, the people around you,

the world you see, even your memories, are nothing but illusions,

constructs, projections.

of consciousness therefore consciousness is not one thing

it is the only thing for someone deeply invested in

exploring the mechanics of consciousness solipsism isn't a theory it's a

reality if you were the only mind that has ever existed how far would you go

to prove it

How deep would you dig?

And what would happen?

Kaylee, I... I thought about how to say this for so long, but now that I'm

actually doing this, it came for the life of me to find the words.

Okay.

Direct.

Be direct, they told me.

Fine.

Look, Kaylee, I'm worried about you.

I'm worried about us.

You never come out anymore.

Everyone misses you.

Jackie, Sadie, Aubrey.

Everyone.

But I get it.

I know you're only looking for answers, trying to help your mom.

But, Kaylee, when is enough enough?

Maybe some things can't be helped.

Or maybe you shouldn't be doing this alone.

So do me a favor.

Click on the link I sent you.

It's nothing crazy. It's just a folder with some videos.

They're from this girl that I met in class.

You have to watch them in order, though.

Okay, that's the way she filmed them.

Otherwise, you probably won't believe it.

I mean, it's all really out there.

But what she's doing Kaylee this could help

you I really hope this helps

I can't believe this is it.

That it's finally over.

Everything I set out to do ends here.

Well, it begins here.

If I can finally prove that we are not bound by the confines of our own minds,

then we can do anything.

We can cure anything.

Epilepsy, Parkinson's, rolling this for Christ's sake.

Alzheimer's.

So, I have a hypnotist on call with me today.

We decided to not have her on video to protect her identity, but she is going

to talk me through all of this.

She's going to guide me through deep hypnosis, so I can finally complete what

I set out to do.

Step outside of my own consciousness.

Everything I've already seen.

Everything I've learned.

Done.

None of it will compare to this.

I'm ready.

Hello, Avery.

Hello.

I want you to take in a deep breath now.

Then let it go.

With every breath, you'll drift deeper.

There's nothing you need to do except listen to my voice.

Avery.

I want you to notice the weight of your body.

Let it sink.

Let your thoughts float like clouds, distant, armless.

You'll continue to hear my voice now, and only my voice, as you go deeper.

Every word will bring you further.

Focus only on the space between your thoughts.

That's where we begin.

Your inner mind is opening now, like a door slightly ajar.

You may step through it if you wish.

You're more than the voice in your head, aren't you?

Listen beyond it.

What else is there?

You may notice a second presence, but don't be frightened.

Just your observing self, watching from the doorway.

Hi, Mom.

Emily.

Why can't I s- See you.

Mom, it's Kaylee.

It's my memory.

But, uh... No, I... I still... remember the things that matter.

It's fine. You're going to have good days and bad. You know this.

At least I'm... I'm no worse than your grandma, Bubble.

She was always...

Calling me by my sister's name.

Have I ever told you that?

Only every time we talk.

Did you take your medicine today?

No. I don't need medicine.

You were right.

It's just a bad day.

Mom, you need your medicine.

What I need is to see you.

Hang on, something must be going on with my camera.

Are you still there?

Just trying to figure this out.

This one right here.

Is someone there?

Sorry, that was in a video.

Emily?

Mom, it's Kaylee, remember?

It's because I can't see you.

How about you just call me back later? Will you write it down? I think someone

is trying to help us.

Help us?

What?

Help so you won't need your medicine anymore.

Just call me later.

Write it down.

I love you.

This is the one that started it all.

Derma Optical Perception.

the idea that the skin, especially the fingers, are capable of perceiving light

and color without the use of the eyes.

I saw this documentary, I think it was made in the 70s,

about these children who are capable of

recognizing color and reading a book.

While blindfolded.

They called it skin vision.

Some called it a hoax.

But the thing is... Or what if it's not about

seeing the words on the page at all?

What if it's about knowing?

Yep, there it is.

It's page...

The brain is not a container for the self.

It is a filter.

And when you tamper with the filter, you not only let

more of yourself through,

You let everything else in too.

That. Right there.

I just can't believe this worked.

That right there is why I started these experiments in the first place.

Today I woke up with this pain in my chest.

Not a physical pain, although it feels physical.

Just a pain.

An absence.

Like something is supposed to be there, but isn't.

I think that when I started these experiments, part of me wanted to fix

that too.

Um, to find what's missing inside of me.

If I can quiet everything else, that constant chatter,

then maybe I can really figure out what that aching is trying to tell me.

And for thousands of years,

Meditation has been used for exactly that, silencing everything else.

Realizing that the voice inside your head is not yours.

No more pain.

No more pain.

Anyways, that's a start.

Let go, step out, return within.

That's what the voices keep telling me.

I don't know what it means, but something is telling me that I

have to keep saying it.

That it will fix me.

Let go.

Step out.

Return within.

Let go.

Step out.

Return within.

Turns out my experiments have not improved my cooking skills, but

whatever.

All in the name of science.

So we've got kale for the folate. We've got vitamin K, beta

-carotene.

It's like prefrontal cortex fuel.

Eggs for the choline, which is what makes neurons talk to each other.

Better neural communication means better memory.

you've got walnuts for the omega-3 fat which is crucial for cognitive function

and it is all topped off with blueberries and turmeric

vinaigrette this stuff is like magic grow for my neurons

although it does kind

of taste like the inside of my stew

What I wouldn't do for science.

So, tonight I will be doing full sensory deprivation.

No lights, no sound.

Just my mind, isolated.

Now, on every given day, about 99% of our brain power is used reacting.

Filtering. Parsing.

Noises. Movement.

Faces. But strip that all away, and what's left?

Now I'm gonna be putting on noise-cancelling headphones.

Got rid of sound.

Well... Our brain fills in the gaps. It doesn't like emptiness, so it creates

signals for itself just to stay active.

That's where we get visual noise, auditory illusions, time dilation.

And here are some blackout goggles.

I'm not going to be seeing nothing. I'm going to be seeing what's really there.

What's in the emptiness.

where the pain comes from.

You know, there are some theories that we don't really ever forget anything.

Every sound, every face, every dream is just stored away

somewhere, somewhere we can't reach.

But if I can reach through it,

we can remember everything.

This is log 7, which for you might be 15

minutes of footage, but For me, this has been about six months

of experiments.

And I'm getting the sense that I'm running out of time.

Like, I just have this feeling that someone's life depends on me

finishing what I started.

So, tonight...

I'm going to be doing something that I've actually been practicing for a

while but I haven't been recording it because it's a dream experiment

and so all the footage would have just been of me sleeping and I don't want to

make anyone suffer through my snoring.

But the other night I was asleep

and I heard this sound

It was a very low sound, almost like a rumbling.

And while I was dreaming, I was walking around, very aware of the sound, and

trying to figure out where it was coming from.

And then, from the sound, I heard a voice.

It was my voice.

And I said to myself, Avery...

Avery.

But it was real. I swear it was real.

So today's experiment is also about

making sure those things are actually just dreams.

So the idea is you go to bed

at 10 p.m but then you set an alarm for 3 a.m while you're in your beta rem

phase and you stay awake for about 15 minutes and that gives the part of your

brain that makes the decision as to whether or not you're dreaming enough

time to wake up and you go back to bed after 15 minutes and then you go right

into beta rem phase so your brain is able to recognize that oh it's dreaming

and our dream consciousness is not like our default consciousness so We can do

anything. We can fly in our dreams.

We can solve Riemann's hypothesis.

We can write a song. We can remember what shoes we wore 15 years ago to

school.

We can even talk to the dead.

So, now to make this footage a little more riveting, I am going to be putting

the camera on time lapse.

Hopefully I'll actually be able to go to sleep.

See you at three.

Phase one, sleep, done.

It helps to write what you saw in your initial dreams.

And now I'm going to recite this incantation before I go back to sleep.

Further back into the deepest black, I sleep forever, I want to remember.

All right, see you soon.

I heard her again.

Well, this will be a very short video if he doesn't answer.

Hey, Professor Adler. Tony, how are you?

Nope. Try again.

Oh.

Avery, I am so sorry.

I was watching that I See Dead People film, you know,

with Tony, what's her name?

I'm not kidding.

Look, I even wrote it down.

Sorry.

Don't even worry about it.

Can I blame it on my old age?

Well, if my experiments work, that won't be a valid excuse anymore.

Well, that's good. That's good. So tell me, what do you have for me?

How are your experiments going?

Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

I don't exactly always recall.

Don't exactly always recall?

Sometimes I look at my notes for upcoming experiments, and I realize

they're already completed, and I... I... That's bad, right?

Is that bad?

Well, no, it's, um, it's not ideal.

But it's also not horrible.

Could be a side effect.

It's just... Just what?

It just makes me think about how dangerous this is, what you're doing,

Avery.

Extremely noble, yes, but it's dangerous.

I mean, isn't that the point?

Risk-reward and all that?

Sure, but... When the risk is your life. My life?

I'm talking about my memory here. My mind, not my life.

Your memory.

Your mind. That is your life. Without it, what are we?

I mean, I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out, isn't it?

What are we when we separate ourselves from our minds?

And no medical advancement has been made without sacrifice.

You said that yourself, right? Look, I know you have a deep personal interest

here, but you have to look outside of yourself for a moment.

That is exactly what I'm doing.

I'm looking outside of myself.

Fair, fair, but you can't stop me from worrying, okay? It's what I do.

Have you reviewed any of your video footage yet?

Why? Humor me.

Have you?

No.

Good.

You do that and we'll talk. And what exactly should I be looking for?

You should look for neural echoes. For digital soul fragmentation.

Thought form manifestation.

Those are all just fringe neurological theories.

And they're the dangers you face every time you conduct one of your

experiments, too.

Why did you even approve of my project in the first place?

Because,

frankly, I didn't think any of it would work.

Avery, I'm sorry.

I've been doing this for a long time now, and...

Believe it or not, I know some things. You have got to trust me.

Thoughtful manifestation.

Come again?

That's the only one you said that I'm not familiar with.

It's when your imagined perfect self takes over. You quite literally lose

your life because it's not yours anymore.

I'm sorry, Avery. I really am.

I wish you the best. I really do.

And I hope to talk to you soon.

thought about things other people didn't think about, had emotions other people

didn't have.

But as I got older, I began wondering if I wasn't really that different after

all.

Or maybe everyone just had these thoughts, had these feelings,

but like me, they just didn't talk about it.

Then I questioned

What even is the self?

Why do we even have... What even are these thoughts?

What are these feelings?

This little voice in your head?

What is consciousness?

Well, now I know.

The consciousness is not just one thing.

It's not static.

It's... And it's not tethered to us the way that we think it is.

And what we call the self is a signal.

And a signal can be moved, like changing a radio station.

So, what I'll be doing today is using a looped phrase to create mental

dissociation. It's a sort of passphrase for the ego, and it goes like this.

Let go.

Step out, return within.

If the consciousness can leave the body in extreme cases, maybe it

can leave voluntarily?

When I was a teen, I had suicidal thoughts.

If I had known then that

My physical body didn't have to die for me to leave.

Maybe I wouldn't have...

Maybe

I could have just let go.

Let go.

Step out.

Return.

Funny.

How an object can mean something so different depending on who's using it.

For a chef in the kitchen, this knife is a tool.

For a man in the streets, this knife is a defense.

But for me, this is proof.

Because what does a knife do but cut?

It prepares food, it...

defends, it divides, just a bit like my experiments.

It cuts through memory, through perception,

through the fabric of the self.

There's no gentle way to dissect the mind.

You have to slice through layers you were never meant to be touched.

So, again, what does a knife do?

This is a tool.

It's a defense.

And it's proof.

Proof that I can disconnect my body from myself.

I feel no pain, because pain is a construct of consciousness.

Emily?

Why can't I see you?

Mom, it's Kaylee. Just hang on.

Well, ahoy there.

Oh my god.

I know I'm not all there, but I swear you look like a pirate.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on with this damn thing.

Is someone with you?

Mom, I have to go.

Call me back later. Write it down.

I haven't gotten much sleep since my first experiments.

I feel fine.

Sharper, actually.

Thought clarity is off the charts.

I feel like a whole new person.

So, tonight, I will be running a kinetic focus test.

You might know it by its pop culture name, telekinesis, but this isn't movie

stuff. It's not about flipping tables or bending spoons.

It is about influence.

Subtle force.

See, under deep focus and elevated beta states, the electromagnetic

field generated by your brain can interact with its surroundings.

So I have been practicing breath control, stillness, visualizing the

water in front of me responding to me, not moving it, it

choosing to move.

Just a nudge.

Shift, impossibility.

it was strange i just um felt a pulse not from me but through me

It's me.

It's me.

But not from then.

From... From after.

I think.

I think it's recursive.

Like... Like a th-

Consciousness folding in on itself like origami.

I tried sensory deprivation again.

Just the dark.

Hearing my own breath.

And the echo.

There was something in the echo.

It said, no.

I said, you're not the first day for you to try

this.

Do you ever look into the mirror?

And if you look long enough, your face starts

to morph into something else.

Into someone else.

And when you look into the mirror, you realize you don't recognize the person

there.

I haven't slept since Tuesday or maybe I have and I just

have been dreaming that I was awake walking around going about my day

whispering to myself

I

think I have realized

isn't created by the brain.

It just listens to it.

Have you ever heard your own thoughts respond to each other?

I can hear it.

It's saying...

Do you see the pattern yet?

Hi, my name is Avery Hastings, and I am a grad student of the Hallberg

Institute, and I am so excited to take you along with me as I work on my

thesis.

But before I delve into specifics, I have to thank my professor, the

endlessly brilliant Dr. Quinn Adler.

Without him, I would not be here today.

So, let's get into why we are here.

Let me tell you a little story.

Don't worry, it's short.

So, a few years ago...

I was going on a walk through the woods with my nephew.

He was about five at the time.

And when we were headed back, he pointed down the trail and said,

Oh, look, it's Grandma Bubble.

And I didn't see anything, so I asked him what he meant.

And he said, she's right there, dressed in all white.

And I thought it was strange, but I just ignored it.

And we kept heading back because, you know, kids say the darndest things,

right?

But when we were in my car, that's when the phone call came in.

Grandma Bubble, my grandma, his great-grandma, had died

suddenly in her home, dressed in her white robe.

The whole situation...

really struck me, it hit me hard.

Not because of how extraordinary it was, but because of how ordinary, of how

common it is.

I mean, everyone has a story about a child doing this exact same thing.

So why is it that children can see things that we adults can't?

It's because They haven't learned to filter these things out yet.

So a child can see their deceased family member in the corner. They can

understand their baby sister's babble. They know not to get into a car because

they can sense danger lurking around the corner.

But then as we grow older, we learn to repress these skills because we don't

need them in our everyday life.

So we...

ignore the deceased family member in the corner.

We only hear gibberish from our babies.

We get into the car even though we have that uneasy feeling.

A little bit like repressed trauma.

It still is all within us.

So, that is why I am doing this.

To relearn what we've lost.

So...

In short, I will be spending every day for a year practicing different fringe

neurological theories, things most people would consider science fiction.

Pain suppression through meditation, enhanced memory recall through dream

hacking, alleviating mental disorders using consciousness transference.

reading without the eyes through dermo-optical perception, being able to

move objects through telekinesis.

Imagine a world where we can see anything, move things

without using any muscles, feel no pain, and remember

everything.

I'm bipolar.

I lost my dad a few years ago to multiple sclerosis.

And my mom.

She's fading fast.

She has early onset dementia.

And she can't even remember my name half the time.

But I believe that all of these things only exist within our own minds.

So if we can separate our consciousness from ourselves,

we can cure it all.

Look, my camera's working.

I'm not sure what that means, but I have a note here to

call you.

I know, and I'm so sorry to do this to you, but I can't talk right now, Mom.

I have a note to call you.

I know.

You did good.

Really good.

But I think there's someone out there trying to help us.

And I think they're about to give me the answer.

Answer? To what?

How to cure you.

You know there's no cure for this.

But I think there is.

And I love you.

I'll call you later.

I can't believe this is it.

That it's finally over.

Everything I set out to do ends here.

Oh.

It begins here.

I'm ready.

Hello, Avery.

Hello.

but don't be frightened that's just your observing self watching

from the

Hello. Hello.

Who are you now?

I'm Kaylee.

Good. And what can you tell me about Kaylee?

Kaylee is so smart.

She has dark hair that she ties up into a bun.

She has these thick glasses that everybody used to make fun of back in

school but are now really cool.

And she has this perfect white blouse, starched and buttoned all the way to the

collar.

And this is the perfect version of yourself?

Yes.

Kaylee, I... I thought about how to say this for so long, but now I can't for

the life of me find the words.

Hi, my name is Sadie Gast and I'm a grad student at the Hallberg Institute and I

am so excited to...

Hi,

my name is Aubrey Long and I'm a grad student at the Hallberg Institute of...

Who am I?

Who am I?

Let me ask you this.

Who do you think you are?

I'm Kaylee Williams.

I'm a neuroscience graduate student at the Hallberg Institute, studying under

you, Professor Quinn Adler.

You... You approved my thesis.

to conduct experiments so we can learn more about the untapped potential of the

human mind.

Well, you're mostly right.

No. No. I am Kaylee Williams. I'm not... Your name is Emily Olsen.

There. Right there.

Do you remember?

You are a grad student. You were a grad student, Emily, but that was five years

ago.

No.

You're wrong.

Emily, listen.

You proved your thesis.

There is so much that the human mind is capable of, but... But?

You also prove that there is a reason that it is untapped potential.

Our bodies just can't keep up with our minds.

I don't understand any of this.

So please, help me out a little.

Professor.

It's simple.

We're still evolving.

That's it.

A hundred thousand... years ago humans started cooking their food and that

energy all of that energy suddenly went straight to their brains and then

overnight overnight they were they were seeing gods they were creating art they

were communicating with the dead they were building structures that defy the

laws of modern physics but it was too much

it's too much so we we adapted

a sort of mental circuit breaker.

Why are you telling me this?

When our mind's output surpasses our body's capabilities, that circuit

breaker trips.

And this is the part where you tell me what happens?

You are what happens.

Our mind...

fractures, it splits, it resets. In your case, your consciousness

reset to the day that you began your experiment over and over.

How many times have we had this conversation, Professor?

How many?

Why do you let me keep doing this?

Emily. My name is Kaylee.

Tell me why. Tell me why you keep letting me do this.

No. What do you get out of it?

Why not just put me away if I'm so crazy?

Lock me up.

And where exactly do you think you are right now?

In my office.

You're in your office.

Do offices come standard with bars on the windows?

When is the last time you were in any room but the room you're in right now?

I'll ask it again.

Why do you keep letting me do this?

Because in just five years...

You will have taught us more about the human mind than we have learned in the

past hundred.

You have helped heal patients who have otherwise gone undiagnosed.

And every time, every time you reset, you get a little smarter,

a little stronger.

And you never lose, for lack of a better word, you never lose your...

Your power.

In a few years... Oh, you will

cure Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, multiple sclerosis, and God only knows what else,

because my own human feeble mind cannot even conceive.

So I'm a guinea pig.

You are one of the most valuable lives on the planet. One of the most

valuable lives to have ever lived, Emily.

Kaylee.

Kaylee.

And you say I never lose my powers?

Yes, it's remarkable.

Good.

Goodbye then, Professor Adler. Talk to you later.

I'm just...

i'm so happy for you for us now that you figured it out we

we can be together again you can leave that place

we were like one kaylee we fit together like a

puzzle remember i mean our minds were like

i'm just so happy because in about five minutes

We're gonna be together again.

You only have to do me one more small favor.

Click on the link.

That's it.

I'll see you soon.

Hi, my name is Kaylee Williams, and I am a grad student of the Hallberg

Institute, and I am so excited to have the opportunity to take you along with

me as I work on my thesis.

I give you permission to awaken, to be seen.

Hello.

Hello.

Who are you now?

I'm Kaylee.

Who are you now? I'm Sadie. I'm Avery. Who are you now?

I still remember the things that matter.

Who are you now?

We were like one, Kaylee.

We fit together like a puzzle.

Who are you now?

Listen to my voice. And only my voice.

Listen beyond it. A second presence.

Don't be afraid.

Who are you now?

Dreams. Déjà vu.

Jamais vu.

Premonitions. They're all just glimpses into our consciousness.

But this one.

Solipsism.

It's probably the most important concept in terms of studying the mind.

See, solipsism is the philosophical idea that your own mind is the only one that

exists. That everything else, the people around you...

The world you see, even your memories, are nothing but illusions,

constructs, projections of consciousness.

Therefore, consciousness is not one thing.

It is the only thing. For someone deeply invested in exploring the mechanics of

consciousness,

solipsism isn't a theory.

It's a reality.

If you were the only real mind that has ever existed, how far would you go to

prove it?

How deep would you dig?

And what would happen if you discovered that you were correct?

What would you do if you discovered that you were the only mind that has ever

existed?

And that everyone else you've ever seen...

Is only you playing a different role to challenge your true consciousness?