Original subtitles

Claudia: WHAT WAS THAT?

Jimmy: NOTHING, MOM!

NOTHING!

Claudia: YOU GUYS,

IT SOUNDS LIKE

WORLD WAR III DOWN HERE.

WHAT...WHOA, WHAT

IS GOING ON IN HERE?

MOM! YOU'RE STANDING

IN HOT LAVA!

EXCUSE ME?

THE FLOOR IS

MADE OF LAVA!

HURRY, HURRY!

GET UP!

AAH! AAH!

NO, NO, NO,

IT'S TOO LATE.

YOU BURNED

YOUR FOOT OFF.

YOU GET A STRIPE.

AH...UH...HA,

WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?

ME.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

HEY, WHERE'S LILY?

SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE

BABY-SITTING YOU.

OH, COME ON, MOM.

WE DON'T NEED

A BABY-SITTER.

BE...

WHOA!

HA! YOU GET

ANOTHER STRIPE!

MAN, I'M BURNED

ALL THE WAY UP

TO MY HEINIE.

WHOO!

Sean: LILY!

YOU ARE

UNBELIEVABLE.

LILY, I AM SORRY!

Claudia: HEY,

WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU HAVE VIOLATED

MY CIVIL RIGHTS!

I THINK YOU MIGHT MEAN

YOUR RIGHT TO PRIVACY.

OH! GET AWAY

FROM ME!

WHAT--DAD, YOU'RE

STANDING IN LAVA!

UH--UH--UH, I'M WEARING

TITANIUM BOOTS. LILY!

HEY, SEAN, WAIT--UHH,

WE'RE GONNA BE LATE

FOR DINNER NOW.

LAVA!

WHAT?

OH...

AM I GONNA

DIE NOW?

GRR.

NO, NO...AAH!

HA HA HA!

AAH!

INTO THE LAVA!

NO, I'M BURNING!

BURN! GRR!

I'M BURNING!

I'M BURNING!

AAH!

THEY'RE TOO EXPENSIVE.

YOUR DAD AND I LIVE

IN 2 DIFFERENT WORLDS.

IT'S STOLEN,

ISN'T IT?

"STOLEN" WOULD

BE A WORD

FROM YOUR

DAD'S WORLD.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS.

YOUR GRANDPA'S HERE

TO BABY-SIT.

OH, MAN!

OH, NO!

WALT, THANKS

FOR BAILING US OUT.

OH, ALWAYS HAPPY

TO BRING SOME DISCIPLINE

INTO THEIR LIVES.

THEY'VE GOT

TO GET IT

SOMEWHERE.

MOM!

MMM, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET

FOR WRITING ON MY FACE.

OH, NOW, BEFORE

WE GET STARTED,

WE'VE GOTTA MAKE SURE

WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE.

THERE WILL BE SPANKINGS.

WELL, WHAT

IF WE DON'T

DO ANYTHING

TO DESERVE

A SPANKING?

NO, THERE WILL BE SPANKINGS.

Claudia: SEAN?

LILY WON'T TALK TO ME.

WHAT HAPPENED?

UH, I THINK I MAY

HAVE SCREWED UP

JUST A LITTLE BIT.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING?

SHH!

OH, H-HEY, UH,

MR. O'KEEFE?

YEAH, HEY, IS, UH,

IS--IS BRAD THERE?

OH, I'M A FRIEND

OF HIS FROM SCHOOL

AND I THINK IT WOULD

BE REALLY COOL

IF I COULD TALK

TO HIM, HEH HEH HEH.

OH, UH, I'M, UH, TEDDY.

PENDER...GRASS.

YEAH, JUST LIKE

THE SINGER, YEAH.

SORRY, WRONG NUMBER!

DAMN.

WHY IS TEDDY PENDERGRASS

CALLING OUR NEIGHBORS?

DO YOU REALLY

WANT TO KNOW?

NO, I REALLY WANT

TO GO TO DINNER.

WELL, I--I--I CAN'T,

OK?

NOT YET,

ALL RIGHT?

OH, UH, JIMMY,

JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY.

HERE, HERE,

HEY, HEY, HEY.

A MAN'S GONNA

ANSWER, OK?

ASK FOR BRAD.

WHAT?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

HELLO?

YEAH, HI, MAY I

SPEAK TO BRAD?

WHO AM I?

UM...M-M-MY DAD'S

MAKING ME DO THIS!

REAL SMOOTH, JIMMY!

WHAT IN THE HELL

IS UP WITH

BRAD O'KEEFE?

O'KEEFE? THAT LITTLE

MELONHEAD FROM NEXT DOOR?

YEAH, YEAH,

YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH, HE AND LILY WERE

OVER HERE STUDYING

JUST A LITTLE WHILE AGO

AND...

OW! THIS BOOK GAVE

ME A PAPER CUT!

YES! YES! THERE

ARE NAKED PEOPLE

ON MY TV!

♪ 9 CHANNELS

OF SKIN-EMAX, BABY ♪

DAD! DO YOU MIND

NOT WATCHING PORNO

WHILE WE'RE STUDYING?

HUH? OH,

I'M SORRY.

HEY, YEAH,

EDDIE, TURN

THAT OFF, MAN.

Sean: COME ON.

OW!

STOP DOING THAT!

YEAH, BRAD'S WHOLE FAMILY

IS SCREWED UP.

YOU KNOW, HIS GRANDFATHER

SIDE-STEPPED KOREA

BY ACTING LIKE A FRUIT.

BRAD STUDIES HERE

ALL THE TIME.

WHAT HAPPENED?

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

BUT WHAT I

DIDN'T REALIZE IS THAT

LILY LIKES BRAD.

SHE "LIKES" HIM?

YES.

NO.

YES.

BRAD?

YES.

BRAD BRAD?

YES.

DID SHE TELL YOU THIS?

SHE DIDN'T HAVE

TO TELL ME, OK?

I WAS OUT

WALKING MERV

AND PICKING UP

A BUCKET OF CHICKEN

FOR THE KIDS...

OH, THAT'S RIGHT, MERV.

SMELL THAT POST

FOR THE 1000th TIME.

COME ON, BOY, COME ON,

BOY, COME ON, COME ON.

[SIGHS]

COME ON, MERV, PICK UP

THE PACE. NUMBER 2!

I KNOW YOU GOT IT

IN YOU. LET'S GO!

OH, HO, HO. AW, THEY'RE

GETTIN' IT ON.

YOU STAY RIGHT HERE, MERV.

I'M GONNA GO CHECK IT OUT.

[WHISTLING]

WHOO.

[GASPS]

LILY! OH, GOD!

IT'S NOT FUNNY,

CLAUDIA!

I DIDN'T KNOW

WHAT ELSE TO DO!

HOW IS THROWING CHICKEN

EVEN AN OPTION?

AW, COME ON.

YOU WEREN'T

EVEN THERE!

YOU KNOW, IT WAS

VERY TRAUMATIC.

I WAS JUST WALKING

DOWN THE STREET,

MINDING

MY OWN BUSINESS,

ALL OF A SUDDEN...

SO SHE WAS MAKING OUT

WITH A BOY.

IT'S INEVITABLE.

NO, NO, NO. THIS GUY

HAD HIS HANDS...

IT'S NOT THE END

OF THE WORLD.

IT'S SO HARD TO SEE

YOUR LITTLE BABY GIRL

WITH SOME ANIMAL

AND HIS TONGUE...

OK, I GET IT!

Walt: COME ON, BOYS,

WE'RE ON A SCHEDULE!

WALT, WHY ARE MY CHILDREN

ON A CHAIN GANG?

I AM TEACHING

THESE BOYS

HOW TO DIG A HOLE.

LET'S GO!

Sean: WHY?

A GOOD HOLE CAN SERVE

A BOY IN A LOT OF WAYS.

IT KEEPS 'EM FOCUSED,

MAKES 'EM SWEAT,

AND LETS 'EM APPRECIATE

A WARM BED AT NIGHT.

HMM. HOW MUCH

IS THERE TO TEACH

ABOUT A HOLE?

THAT'S THE KIND

OF ATTITUDE THAT LEADS

TO SUBSTANDARD HOLES.

PSST.

[WHISPERING]

Brad. Psst.

Brad. Bradley.

WHAT ARE YOU

TRYING TO DO?

I want him

to come over here.

Brad! Psst!

WHY?

Because he's Lily's

first boyfriend,

and I screwed

the whole thing up.

Brad!

Brad.

YO, BRADLEY!

WHAT'D YOU

DO THAT FOR?

YOU WANT TO TALK

TO HIM OR NOT?

SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU FINNERTYS

DOING OUT THERE?

SEAN WANTS

TO TALK TO BRADLEY.

NICE.

HI.

HEY.

OK. HOLD ON A MINUTE.

DO YOU THINK HIS DAD

KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED

OUT ON THE STREET?

I DON'T KNOW.

AAH!

AAH!

I THINK HE KNOWS!

AAH!

MAN. BRAD O'KEEFE

RUNS CRYING TO HIS DADDY

JUST 'CAUSE HE GETS

A LITTLE CHICKEN

THROWN ON HIM?

BIG FAT WUSSY.

WELL, TH-THERE WAS

MORE THAN JUST CHICKEN.

BISCUITS?

NO, NO.

SO YOU STILL

HAVE THE BISCUITS?

NO.

THEN WHERE ARE

THE BISCUITS?

THERE ARE NO BISCUITS,

ALL RIGHT?

I'M TALKING ABOUT

AN ADDITIONAL...INCIDENT.

AAH!

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

IT'S A CRAZY MANIAC.

IT'S MY DAD!

AAH!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING,

LOVER BOY?

D-D-DON'T KILL ME!

I-I'M SORRY...

YOU'D BETTER RUN!

OHH!

YEAH!

WHAT THE HELL

ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT THE HELL

AM I--I WAS--

I--I WAS WALKING--

W-WHAT THE HELL ARE

YOU DOING, MISSY?

LILY...

LILY, LILY, COME ON.

I WAS JUST JOKING!

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT HAVE YOU

TURNED INTO?

I DON'T KNOW.

WALT.

OH, NO.

NO, NO.

YOU'RE TURNING INTO WALT.

YEAH, HE WISHES.

I AM NOT!

IT WAS JUST

A MOMENTARY LAPSE,

AND I'VE GOT TO MAKE

LILY UNDERSTAND THAT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU

DIDN'T GET BISCUITS.

THEY COME

WITH THE CHICKEN.

I DIDN'T GET ANY BISCUITS!

LOOK, I WENT OUT

TO GET A BUCKET OF CHICKEN.

I GOT A BUCKET OF CHICKEN.

YOU WOULD HAVE HAD

TO SPECIFICALLY

ASK THEM TO LEAVE

THE BISCUITS OUT.

OH. G--

[CLUNKING]

[WHISPERING]

It's him.

AAAH! OH!

CALM DOWN.

CALM DOWN.

RELAX, BRAD.

RELAX, OK?

I JUST WANT

TO TALK TO YOU, OK?

OK? IS THAT OK?

OK.

OK.

DAD!!

NO! SHH, SHH.

COME ON, COME ON.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, BRAD.

COME ON, CALM DOWN.

I JUST--I JUST

WANT TO APOLOGIZE, OK?

SERIOUSLY, OK?

WHY IS HE

MANHANDLING

THE O'KEEFE BOY?

THAT'S THE KID

WHO WAS SCORING

WITH LILY IN THE CAR.

AW, JEEZ.

WELL,

THAT WOULDN'T

HAVE HAPPENED

IF SHE'D BEEN

IN THE BACKYARD

DIGGING A HOLE.

I JUST WANT MY BOOK BAG

AND NOT TO BE KILLED.

OK, SURE. HEY, MAN.

YOU'RE NOT

GONNA GET KILLED.

I'M JUST GONNA

GO UPSTAIRS AND GET LILY.

ALL RIGHT?

BUT YOU'RE SAFE HERE.

YOU ARE OUR GUEST, OK?

DON'T LET HIM LEAVE!

YOU WATCH OZ?

Sean: I GOT

A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

IT'S AWESOME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU'RE GONNA

BE REALLY HAPPY.

WHAT?

READY? TA-DA!

YOU LIVE

TO HUMILIATE ME.

LILY, COME ON. IT'S BRAD.

EVERYTHING IS COOL.

OHH!

I THINK

I'M GONNA GO NOW.

NO, YOU'RE NOT

GOING ANYWHERE, PAL.

HAVE A--HAVE A MINT.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

UH, TO THE KITCHEN

TO TALK WITH LILY.

GOOD. YEAH, GOOD.

CAN I, UM, GIVE YOU

A LITTLE PIECE OF ADVICE

BEFORE YOU GO IN THERE?

YEAH.

DO NOT GO IN THERE.

W-WHAT? NO,

I GOTTA GO IN THERE

TO MAKE THINGS

RIGHT WITH LILY.

HA HA, YOU CAN'T.

SEE, SHE'S

A TEENAGE GIRL,

AND YOU'RE

HER FATHER.

ANYTHING THAT YOU

DO WILL BE WRONG,

BECAUSE YOU,

HER FATHER,

ARE DOING IT.

COME ON, COME ON.

I'M NOT LIKE A DAD DAD.

YOU KNOW, I'M

LIKE A WHOO-HOO DAD.

Sean: HEY, LIL.

UH, HEH, WHY ARE YOU

EATING CROUTONS?

WELL, I WAS HUNGRY,

AND WE DON'T

HAVE ANY CHICKEN,

WHAT WITH IT BEING OUT

ON THE CURB AND ALL.

LISTEN, LILY,

I WAS WRONG.

AND I DON'T WANT

TO BE THE THING

THAT GETS BETWEEN YOU

AND YOUR BOYFRIEND.

EWW! HE'S NOT

MY BOYFRIEND.

HE'S BRAD O'KEEFE.

WHAT?

HE WEARS A FANNY PACK.

AND HE CARRIES ALL THESE

KEYS WITH HIM ALL THE TIME.

WHY DOES HE NEED

SO MANY KEYS?

AND HE SAYS

THE WORD "OF-TEN."

THAT'S HOW HE SAYS IT.

"OFTEN" WITH A "T."

GEEK!

HEY, HEY, WAIT.

IF HE'S SUCH A GEEK,

THEN WHAT WERE YOU

DOING IN THE CAR

WITH HIM?

I JUST WANTED SOMEBODY

TO NOTICE ME, ALL RIGHT?

OH, COME ON, LILY, BOYS

NOTICE YOU ALL THE TIME.

NOT WHEN SHE'S AROUND.

WHAT?

EVERYWHERE I GO,

THERE SHE IS.

BA-DOOM,

BA-DOOM,

BA-DOOM.

WHAT?

YOU GO AROUND

FLAUNTING IT,

AND NOBODY EVEN

NOTICES I'M HERE.

WHAT?

LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW.

[YELLO'S OH YEAH PLAYING]

MM-MMM.

THERE IS NOTHING SEXY

ABOUT SCRAPING GNATS

OFF OF A STATION WAGON.

THERE IS WHEN

YOU'RE WORKING IT.

HA HA HA!

YOU WERE WORKING IT?

NO! I--

OH, THIS IS INTERESTING,

BECAUSE THIS ISN'T ABOUT

ME BEING A BAD DAD.

THIS IS ABOUT YOU

BEING A LEGGY SIREN

WHO'S DESTROYED OUR

DAUGHTER'S SELF-ESTEEM.

LET'S GO EAT.

NO. NOBODY'S

GOING ANYWHERE.

I AM.

UH, AH, AH, AH.

DON'T YOU TRY TO FIX THIS,

BECAUSE ANYTHING

YOU DO WILL BE WRONG

BECAUSE YOU, HER MOTHER,

ARE DOING IT.

NOT FUNNY.

WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?

YOU'RE SPOOKING THE KID.

Sean: AH, AH, AH, AH.

GUESS WHO

THE NEIGHBORHOOD

HOT MOM IS? WHOO!

NO, I AM NOT.

YOU'RE THE HOT MOM?

YEAH. YEAH.

WOW, YOU'RE THE HOT MOM.

NO. SHUT UP!

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

Sean: NO, COME ON.

WHOO-HOO!

THAT MAKES

SO MUCH SENSE.

BUT SHE'LL NEVER BE

LIKE MRS. DELVECCHIO.

OH, NO,

MRS. DELVECCHIO.

OH, WHOA, MRS. D.

OW! OH.

[MOANING]

WHOO!

OK, OK, WHO IS

MRS. DELVECCHIO?

MRS. DELVECCHIO

WAS THE HOTTEST MOM

IN THE HISTORY

OF STATEN ISLAND.

THANK YOU

FOR HELPING ME.

OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

VERY NICE OF YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, HERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW,

IT'S KIND OF HOT OUT.

CAN I COME IN AND HAVE

A GLASS OF LEMONADE?

OH, I DON'T HAVE

ANY LEMONADE. I'M SORRY.

OH, YEAH, YOU DO.

YOU BOUGHT SOME.

IT'S IN YOUR BAG.

OH. I DON'T HAVE

ANY CLEAN GLASSES.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

OK, BYE.

OH, UH...

CAN I COME IN

AND TAKE A BATH?

WHAT?

[YELLING IN ITALIAN]

SHE'S GOTTA BE,

LIKE, 60 NOW.

YEAH. I BET SHE WOULDN'T

CLOSE THE DOOR ON ME NOW.

AND DON'T THINK

I DON'T SEE YOU!

WALT, WE'RE KIND OF

IN THE MIDDLE

OF SOMETHING HERE.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS

WHEN YOU DON'T SPANK.

WHAT'D THEY DO?

AH, THE LITTLE MONKEYS

TUNNELED OUT OF THE YARD.

[INDIANA JONES THEME PLAYS]

THEY GOT AWAY

FROM YOU, HUH?

THEY'RE RIGHT NEXT DOOR.

THEY CAN HEAR ME FINE.

THE BELT IS COMING OFF!

WALT, PLEASE. WE'VE

GOT A LILY ISSUE

THAT WE HAVE

TO DEAL WITH HERE.

OH, RIGHT.

SHE GAVE HERSELF

TO THAT BRAD BOY,

DIDN'T SHE?

NO, NO.

YEAH, WELL, YOU WOULDN'T

BE HAVING THESE PROBLEMS

IF YOU'D TALKED WITH HER

WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE.

YOU DIDN'T

GIVE HER THE TALK.

OHH. I REMEMBER

YOUR TALK, DAD,

AND IT WAS, UH,

QUITE EDUCATIONAL.

WHEN THE MAN AND A WOMAN

GET TOGETHER,

SO TO SPEAK,

AND THE, UH...SPERM...

COMES IN CONTACT

WITH THE...EGG.

NOW, THAT'S A CODE RED

UP IN HER WAJUDI.

AM I MAKING

MYSELF CLEAR?

YEAH. THANKS, DAD.

YEAH, WELL,

YOUR CHICKEN-THROWING

APPROACH REALLY PAID OFF.

WELL, DAD,

I THINK WE'VE ESTABLISHED

THAT THIS ISN'T MY FAULT,

BUT THIS IS THE FAULT

OF MY WIFE--THE SUPERVIXEN.

OH, YEAH?

UH-HUH. YEAH.

I'M NOT THE ONE WHO BLEW

UP THE BATTERY RECHARGER

BY PUTTING IN

NON-RECHARGEABLE

BATTERIES.

OH, MY GOD.

THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT?

THAT WAS 2 YEARS AGO,

AND IT'S NOT EVEN RELEVANT.

IT SAID--IT SAID RIGHT

ON THE FRONT OF IT:

IT SAID, "RECHARGEABLE

BATTERIES ONLY."

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,

MISSY.

UH, UH,

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

WHY DON'T YOU

JUST FOLLOW ME

LIKE YOU USUALLY DO?

OH, NO, NO, NO.

I DIDN'T FOLLOW YOU, OK?

I JUST HAPPENED

UPON YOU,

AND DON'T FORGET...

HOT MOM.

OH! BECAUSE I PUT ON

A PAIR OF SHORTS,

I'M RESPONSIBLE

FOR HER PROMISCUITY?

PROMISCUITY?

I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.

NOTHING HAPPENED, OK?

BUT YOUR FATHER

SAW YOU--

SO WHAT? IT WAS

ANOTHER PATHETIC CHAPTER

IN MY PATHETIC LIGHT.

WELL?

WELL, WHAT?

DON'T YOU WANT TO KISS ME?

OH. YEAH.

[SIGHS]

MAYBE YOU SHOULD DO

SOMETHING WITH YOUR HANDS.

LIKE WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

SOMETHING.

IS THIS GOOD?

WHAT WERE YOU EATING?

CH-CHEETOS.

YOU JUST GOT CHEESE DUST

IN MY HAIR, YOU IDIOT!

AAH! DON'T PUT

THEM BACK! GROSS!

[SIGHS]

CAN I TOUCH YOUR BRA?

I GUESS.

ARE YOU GONNA

TAKE IT OFF?

NO.

COOL.

OH, I--WELL, I THINK

I SAW A GUY LOOKING AT US.

DON'T BE SUCH A WUSS!

I SEE A GUY

LOOKING AT US.

DON'T YOU WANT

TO MAKE OUT?

I DO, I DO,

IT'S JUST THERE'S THIS--

AAH!

MY LIFE SUCKS.

MMM. BABY,

I GOTTA TELL YOU,

BEING 14 PRETTY MUCH

SUCKS FOR EVERYBODY.

LOOK, L-LIL.

I SCREWED UP, OK?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I

WAS THINKING OUT THERE,

AND I KNOW IT'S

DEPRESSING TO BE A GIRL

WHEN ALL THE BOYS

YOUR AGE...

ARE HOT FOR YOUR MOM.

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

WELL, YOU KNOW,

I WOULDN'T,

BECAUSE I WAS A BOY,

AND MY MOM WAS KINDA HORSY,

GOD REST HER SOUL,

BUT I WILL

TELL YOU THIS, LIL.

YOU ARE MUCH PRETTIER

THAN YOUR MOTHER

WAS AT YOUR AGE.

WHAT?

YEAH, YEAH.

SHE HAD THESE BRACES,

AND SHE HAD THIS GOOFY

CYNDI LAUPER HAIRDO--

AND THIS CHUNKY

IRISH BOYFRIEND

IN PARACHUTE PANTS

AND A SERGIO VALENTÉ SHIRT.

LOOK--LOOK AT IT

THIS WAY, LIL, OK?

YOU'RE GETTING HOTTER

ALL THE TIME,

AND YOUR MOTHER,

WELL, SHE'S PEAKED.

HEH. OH, THANKS, HONEY.

HAVE ANOTHER DONUT.

AND THAT'S SUPPOSED

TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?

I'M SCARED OF YOU,

AND I'M JEALOUS OF HER.

AND FROM NOW ON,

I'M GONNA ASSOCIATE SEX

WITH HAVING FRIED FOOD

HURLED AT ME.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED

TO RECOVER FROM THAT?

I'M GONNA CARRY AROUND

SCARS WITH ME

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

HOW'D YOU LIKE

YOUR OWN PHONE LINE?

THAT'D WORK.

DO YOU SEE ANYTHING, MAN?

THAT COULD BE A NIPPLE.

THAT'S A DOG'S NOSE.

OH. UNFINISHED BUSINESS.

I'LL WARM UP THE CAR.

[SIGHS]

BRAD, DUDE.

MAN, WE GOTTA TALK.

YEAH.

UH, IT AIN'T

GONNA HAPPEN.

BUT--BUT I THINK

SHE REALLY LIKES ME.

OH, Y-YEAH,

SHE LIKES YOU,

BUT SHE JUST

DOESN'T...

LIKE YOU IN THAT WAY,

YOU KNOW?

BUT WHEN I SEE HER,

I--I GET

ALL THESE FEELINGS.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT YOU

JUST GOTTA FACE FACTS.

YOU KNOW...

YOU AND LILY JUST

WEREN'T MEANT TO BE.

LILY? I WAS TALKING

ABOUT MRS. FINNERTY.

YOU KNOW THAT'S

MY WIFE, RIGHT?

YEAH.

YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART,

ARE YOU, BRAD?

AH.

HI, UNCLE EDDIE.

HEY, WHERE'S YOUR GRANDPA?

HE THINKS WE'RE STILL

DOWN IN THE HOLE.

YEAH.

WE TIED A FLASHLIGHT

TO MR. DIRKIN'S CAT.

AH, I SEE YOU!

I KNOW YOU'RE DOWN THERE.

YOU CAN'T STAY

DOWN THERE FOREVER.

AND I GOT ALL NIGHT!

HEH HEH HEH!

I GOT YOU, YOU LITTLE

GOOD-FOR-NOTHING!

COME ON! COME ON!

AAARGH!