Original subtitles

All right! Today's the day you've all been waiting for...

Pool cleaning!

Not a cloud in the sky!

What a perfect day!

Totally!

No clouds, and we're in Japan!

The president sure is fired up.

She's always loved sports.

She used to be on the track team, after all.

Speaking of which, where's Otori?

(- Hey! We've got club activities today!) (- My blanket's too heavy. I'm gonna be late!)

(Episode 3: Pool Cleaning in Swimsuits!)

Hey, you must be Ume!

Thanks for coming to help.

You got it!

You're from the Swimming Club...?

Yep!

(Kuroe Honma, Third-Year High School Student) The Swimming Club!

Isn't that redundant?

I'm Kuroe Honma, a third-year.

They call me the Tuna of Fujinari!

Just call me Tuna!

Uh, that's a bit...

She's got no filter.

And my best feature

is this soleus muscle right here!

A tuna with soleus muscles!

Get it? Good pun, right?

Whoa! Wait, wait, wait!

You're showing way too much!

All right, let's get in there.

Watch your step. It's pretty slippery!

Yep, it's slippery!

Yeah...

Ooh, it's all slimy! Feels great!

Ume?

Yes!

I'll get scrubbing!

What's wrong, Michinoku?

Why are you shaking like that?

I'm holding on...

What do you mean?

If I move even a little...

this happens.

Terrible balance.

What are you doing, Terui?

Collecting dragonfly larvae.

They're called naiads.

If we leave them here, they'll get washed away and die.

That'd be so sad.

Terui...

You're so kind.

Are you taking them home to raise them?

Oh, no.

I'm feeding them to my tropical fish.

Better than dying for nothing, right?

So you only care how they die?

The grime won't come off.

I've got detergent!

(Pool Cleaner) Seriously? You're a lifesaver!

Then pour some over there!

(Slip!)

Please don't die...

(All Dragonfly Larvae Wiped Out) All Dragonfly Larvae Wiped Out.

This is hard work.

Nice work.

Look at you all, hard at work!

Good job, good job!

Late again, like some big shot.

Ume.

You and that scrub brush look great together!

Huh?

You're not wearing a school swimsuit?

Well, obviously not!

I never intended to dress like a girl!

Really?

Hey! It's the kid from that swimsuit photo!

Why aren't you wearing one?

Why not?

Like I said,

Arisu forced me into it!

It wasn't mine!

Oh, really? My bad!

You can borrow mine, then!

Our club's broke!

That's not the point!

(Almost Done)

(Almost Done) Man, I'm beat.

One final rinse, and we're done!

I'll turn on the water!

Always picking the easy jobs!

We'll do the scrubbing.

You take the hose.

Huh? The water?

Feels like I'm forgetting something...

Here goes!

(Just Remembered) Oh, right! The hose is broken!

Hey!

It's coming out like crazy!

Otori! Turn it off!

No good. He's listening to music with that smug look on his face.

Damn it...

Somebody shut off the water!

Ah! Wait...

Sorry, Mizunoe!

I'll shut it off.

No! I'll go!

Sorry!

What's going on?

Playing in the water?

Today's Punishment for Otori:

(Waterwheel Torture) Waterwheel Torture!

At least the club budget's looking up!

Maybe we went a bit too far.

Tan seems to have caught a cold.

They say idiots never catch colds,

but apparently trash does.

I'd normally go myself,

but now that we have another boy, Ume,

could you pay him a visit?

Besides,

I bet there's something you want to see, too.

(The Student Council Has Me Too! -- Tan Otori) (Bringing You Dreams and Love)

See what?

(STOP)

So this is where Otori lives.

Hard to picture him looking helpless.

Okay.

Coming!

Who is it?

Hey.

Huh? Ume?

Yep.

I heard you were out sick today.

I brought over some student council paperwork.

Could it be...

Did you miss me that much...?

Geez, what am I gonna do with you?

- Still teasing me when you're this sick? - Honestly...

Don't push yourself.

Ugh, stupid cold germs...

If I could see them, I'd beat them up!

Just lie down and rest!

Have some porridge. I made it at home.

You need to eat properly when you're sick.

Ume!

You didn't put scallions in it, did you?

My delicate palate can't stand anything bitter.

Hot! Hot! Hot!

He's got plenty of energy left.

Ume...

What is it?

Um...

What's wrong? Feeling worse?

(Rub, Rub)

I rubbed my cold germs all over you!

(Annoyed)

What the hell? I'm sick, you know!

Then stay still and rest.

I can't move!

My butt itches, Ume!

Looks like he's feeling much better.

Maybe I should just go home.

But...

Wait, do you live alone?

Yeah.

I don't have parents, after all.

What? Why...?

Family stuff, I guess...

Before I knew it, Dad was gone.

Mom never comes home, either.

So...

Thanks for checking on me today.

Just kidding!

I'm invincible, you know!

I can handle anything on my own!

This cold'll be gone in no time...

Otori.

Have you even seen a doctor?

No...

I thought so.

You can't just leave this untreated!

And I bet you haven't taken your medicine, either.

It's on that shelf.

But...

Is this it?

Otori, I'm going to make you better.

(Oronaru, 2 Tablets per Dose) Otori, I'm going to make you better.

(Headache, Fever, Menstrual Cramps) Those are suppositories...

Otori.

Take your pants off.

Wait! You're not seriously...

I can do it myself!

No.

You'd probably just pretend you did.

Let me handle it.

But...

It's embarrassing!

Nothing to be embarrassed about!

He's trying to drown out his nerves by shouting.

All right, here goes.

Okay...

Ow!

Sorry!

I'm okay.

Keep going.

(No Longer Human, Naomi, Confessions of a Mask) (Botchan, The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)

Mizunoe's lost in a world of fiction.

I'm exhausted...

I thought my heart was gonna explode!

There. It's in.

At least Otori seems to have settled down.

Ume...

I'd better go.

I'll leave your medicine here...

The suppository's on the floor?

Wait...

Then what did I just put in there?

(Fresh Mint Tablets! For Fresh Breath!)

Why does my butt feel warm?

Otori!

Show me your butt!

What?!

Ume!

Huh? It's hot!

My butt's burning!

It's hot!

My butt's on fire!

I'm sorry! This is my fault!

Now hurry up and show me your butt!

The next day,

Mizunoe caught a cold, too.

(The Following Week) Hey. Feeling better now?

More or less.

(Episode 3: Good for You!)

Shake...

(Student Council Room) Shake...

- Woof! - Shake... (Student Council Room)

- Woof! - Shake...

(Mathematics I)

What's wrong, Mizunoe?

Why the sudden sigh?

Nothing. It's just they're making us do it again.

(Ridiculous!) Regular exams!

Well, of course! They're called regular exams for a reason!

Come to think of it, Mizunoe,

you're not great at math and science, are you?

Exactly.

It's like talking to a brick wall...

No, preaching to a cow...

No, playing music to a cow...

No need to get so fancy with your words.

But you're so good at Japanese.

How bad are you in each subject?

Let's see...

Which subjects count as science again?

Mathematics?

Chemistry?

You're starting from there?!

Sorry.

It's more that I hate them than that I'm bad at them.

No matter how hard I study, nothing sticks.

I see.

All right. I know what to do.

What's on the test?

I actually like math and science.

Maybe studying together will make you hate them less.

President!

By the way, how are your grades?

If you don't mind me asking.

Well...

I come first in our year now and then.

Seriously?!

But I'm only around fifth in each individual subject.

Jack of all trades, master of none.

That's still incredible!

With all your student council work, too!

You're amazing, President!

Even if you are a closet per... Never mind.

Kotobuki scores an unexpected point!

Let's get started.

Right!

Studying, are we?

We'll give you a hand.

What?! Are we looking after Ume now?!

Great. Here come the extras.

Exams are coming up, after all.

I was wondering how you were doing in science.

You knew?

How embarrassing...

Last time, you got 13 in science,

4 in math, and 18 in biology.

Let's at least try to avoid failing this time.

You know way too much about me!

I'll take biology and chemistry, then.

Really?

(Basic Biology) (Basic Chemistry) Believe it or not, I'm pretty good at them.

I even won an award at the IBO.

She's a monster!

The IBO is the International Biology Olympiad,

a worldwide competition for high school students.

Actually, that does sound like you...

Just as you imagined...?

Thanks!

I do love living things, you know.

Uh, right.

What a relief...

So you were this close to repeating a year, Ume?

And you wear glasses! Hilarious!

Will you shut up?!

You're still in middle school, aren't you?

High school exams are tough!

Go play somewhere, kid.

Well, actually,

Tan's already doing college-level computer science and physics.

He even develops software.

What?!

Who's the kid now?

Shave your head and beg me to teach you!

You mean "bow your head"...

That's going too far!

Anyway, science seems covered.

But math...

Well...

Math?

I'm good at math.

You, Michinoku...?

Yep.

You wouldn't guess it, but she

has a full scholarship for her math talent.

Wait, seriously?!

Then why didn't you say so when I was worrying about it?

Sorry.

I really needed the bathroom then.

You should've said that sooner!

(Chemistry, Biology, Mathematics) So

(Computer Science & Physics, All Together) we've got all the top-ranked science students here!

Looks like it.

Could Ms. Hiratsuka have known this would happen all along

and put me on the student council for that reason?

Mizunoe!

- She may not seem like it, - Lend me 100 yen!

but she notices more than you'd think.

Shall we each get started, then?

(Basic Biology) Yes! Thanks for helping!

It's piecewise smooth,

so the Fourier series converges... and the boundary conditions...

I don't understand a word.

Toying with...

- The president is sulking like never before! - Toying with...

No, it's fine...

I'm more of a jack-of-all-trades anyway...

No, no, no!

Wait, there is one!

A subject you ranked first in, President!

Please teach me that one!

You know...

Health and Physical Education.

I'm not that good at it...

No need to be modest!

It's an important subject that's part of everyday life.

Ume isn't very good at that one, either.

(High School Health and Physical Education) Why don't you give him a proper lesson?

Uh... well...

(Mumble)

Girls are... (Mumble)

Girls are...

That's enough, President.

You don't have to force yourself.

We'll leave you to it, then.

Sorry about that, President.

In the end, Kotobuki taught him everything.

(The Next Day)

Two days in a row is pretty rough. (The Next Day)

Mizunoe lives alone near the school.

(STOP) But the president's a great teacher.

I even made it to the supermarket sale today!

Nice!

Maybe I'll make some homemade gratin. It's been a while.

Hey!

Sis?!

And that's my underwear!

That's right. It's your big sister!

(Ume's Older Sister, Matsu Mizunoe) Sorry, did I scare you?

I had to come back to Japan for work for a while,

so I thought I'd visit my darling little brother first.

I see.

You could've at least told me!

This one's a pretty big job.

I'm really giving it my all this time.

Aren't you going to praise me?

Well, you can't just spring that on me...

Anyway,

why are you still holding my underwear?

I'm checking whether you're managing on your own.

Starting with your laundry!

Please don't.

Come on, I'm not a little kid anymore!

Sorry!

I worry about my adorable little brother.

That's why I can't get married!

No, that's why you can't get married.

And give that back!

But Ume,

you seem different somehow.

How so?

That's it!

You seem more popular with the girls!

That's what all this was leading up to?!

Wait, Sis, don't tell me...

Yep!

I hacked into your LONE account

and blocked all the girls!

Stop doing that! You always pull this stuff!

My little Ume has women in his life now!

I feel so lonely...

There she goes, getting carried away again...

I miss the days when you had no friends but pretended you were fine!

You know that's a really mean thing to say, right?

Want to come live with me in America?

Just forget about those girls.

What are you even talking about?!

Hello!

It's Ume!

Hi there!

What brings you here?

Sorry to drop by like this.

We wanted to meet outside,

but we couldn't get hold of you.

Go on, Komaro!

I made this cake in home ec class.

She wanted to give it to you but couldn't work up the nerve.

It turned out really well.

Really?

Thank you.

(Peeks Out) So it's you.

Stop treating her like a target!

Who's that?

She's...

Hello, girls!

I'm Matsu Mizunoe, Ume's sister and the one who loves him most!

Stop it! You're embarrassing me!

Oh, my!

I'm Terui, Ume's senior, and I adore him too.

You don't have to play along!

I'm Komaro. I love Ume.

Straight to the point?!

That's quite a claim...

No, those are just polite greetings!

But how much do you know about Ume?

I know everything about him.

From his dick size ten years ago

to his alt account password!

I know how big it is now.

It's huge.

When I sat on it...

Seems you know plenty about Ume.

Huge...

No, that's not what you think!

And that information is completely useless!

But that's just the outside.

Do you know who Ume really is?

For example, he gets lonely very easily.

Back when he couldn't make friends,

he'd soak my chest and clothes with his tears...

He does always look lonely when he's alone,

staring at the door.

That's adorable, too.

Really?

How would you know that?

You girls are amazing!

Not at all. We're enjoying your stories!

They really hit it off talking about Ume.

We should probably get going.

It's almost dinner time.

I see... What a shame.

Ume, walk them out.

Finally, I'm free...

How am I supposed to face them at school tomorrow?

Oh!

- Was the cake good? - Yeah, it was.

Ume!

That's good.

Cut it out!

It's embarrassing!

You're so stubborn.

That day,

all of Mizunoe's underwear disappeared.

(See You!) Bye!

(Even the Student Council Has Its Holes!) (Next Episode Preview)

(Komaro and the Suggestion Box) (Terui's Secret♪)

(Koki and the Light Music Club) (Rendezvous in the Gym Storage Room!!)