Original subtitles

VAMPIRE VS VAMPIRE

Executive Producer: LEONARD HO

Starring: LAM CHING-YING

CHIN SIU-HO, LUI FONG

SANDRA NG, BILLY LAU, MARIA CORDERO

Screenwriters: SZE MEI-YEE, SAM CHI-LEUNG, CHAN KA-CHEONG

Film Coordinator: JONATHAN CHOW

Producer: CHUA LAM

Director: LAM CHING-YING

When Heavenly Dog eats the moon,

during an eclipse evil prevails; darkness reigns supreme.

When the moon emerges, it's Yin apogee while Yan declines.

Caught by moon beam, the spirits will wreak havoc.

Hey, don't! Don't go in!

- Listen to me. - Don't get in my way!

Don't, it's dangerous inside!

The danger is exactly why we need to go in.

How else will we know if we're capable?

Master said we must cover up all the gaps so moonlight won't shine on these jars.

Don't blame me for grassing on your slacking when Master scolds you.

No point in grassing on me, how about if I let you stand on my shoulder? Come!

The moonlight is shining on those jars!

Why are you holding that jar?

If we could move these jars, we wouldn't have to cover the gaps.

You never follow your Master's advice.

No wonder Master says you're brainless.

Don't even swap shoulders when carrying.

See? I can improvise.

Well, if you're so smart, fix it yourself then.

No need to find excuses if you don't want to work.

Use the blow taught by Master.

Here.

Hey, give me one more!

Here!

Did you shit your pants? It stinks so much!

Not as stinky as your mouth!

Done.

Sorry, I'm treading on you again.

No wonder it's so dark.

That longevity lamp is burnt out.

Hey, wait for me!

Hurry up then.

Why won't it light?

Light quickly! Come on!

Hey, Ho!

Hold it down for now.

The jar is reactive to moonlight.

- What to do if this thing gets out? - What? Oh no!

Trying to scare me to death?!

Hurry up!

Don't ever let it get out!

My hand!

It hurts!

Hold you down there first.

It's upside down.

The vampire is getting out. Run!

How come the coffin is empty?

Go search for it, quickly!

Look!

Don't let it get away! Surround it!

- Stop it! - I know.

Still going?

Still trying to run?

Don't run! Don't run!

Catch him!

Little vampire, not this way. That way!

Oh no, it's too late!

Let me help its blood circulation.

A massage should help. How would a little vampire have blood?

All fine.

You're crafty, little brat. Why don't I give you a beating?

Don't go out, little vampire!

Making an unexpected move?

No wonder my eyebrow twitched the whole night.

What are you two doing up there?

Silence doesn't mean nothing happened.

Silence is golden, you taught us that.

Master, we've already done our best.

When we went up, there was moonlight.

If you don't believe us, ask Fong.

I don't know. I only saw Ho playing with him there.

No, no, in fact he's the naughtier one.

Is that so?

I believe all three of you.

But you all deserve punishment.

He won't be able to beat up such a teacher's pet.

They really are close, like father and son.

Am I too soft?

Oh? No.

Just sentimental.

That's my strong suit.

Master!

Master, you've another chance to show sympathy.

- What? - Not my fault, Fong said it!

This is serious!

How come this one got in?

- Is... is Master in? - Yes.

One... One... One Eyebrow Priest, it's... it's serious. Out... outside...

There must be something.

You guys lift him up.

Also get your weapons while you're at it.

Hey, Chi Lei-kan.

Be good and stay here.

Scissors. Paper.

- Scissors. - Hammer!

- We've lost. - Go now.

Now I'm hammering myself.

It seems one of the trees here has turned into a spirit.

Stay away from the banana trees.

He's my little brother.

Can he be saved, Master?

Get him out of here first.

This female banana tree ghost won't transform without being seduced.

Only virgin boys could seduce her to come out.

Which of you is a virgin besides me?

First, dress yourself up like a groom in red.

Then use a red rope to tie up the candles.

And then light them.

Throw one end of the red rope into the banana woods.

Take the other end into the house and tie it to your big toe.

Remember to make the knot a loose one.

Then pretend to be asleep while staying wide awake.

Remember to shout loudly as soon as she appears.

It's crashing onto me!

Look!

Improvise if you have to. We only have this magic weapon left.

Only this mirror is left?

Did Master teach you how to use it?

Yes, point it at that female ghost.

It's quite difficult.

Let me do such a dangerous task then.

No need to trouble yourself. Let's swap.

There's no need.

We're classmates after all.

You don't want me to lose my virginity in such circumstances, right?

Are you a virgin?

Yes. Look at my height and you know I'm not yet developed.

Then there's no other way.

OK, so I need to sacrifice my virginity for your sake.

Oh no! It's broken. What to do?

Let's go!

Master, help!

Don't go near it!

So turns out it's afraid of fire.

Help, Master!

Bring the flames at once.

Reciting the Buddhist sayings so loudly. How annoying is that?

You've damaged Master's coin sword.

It means you've ruined your own lifelong happiness yourself.

Why are you hiding under the table?

Master's coming. Hide the stuff first.

It's pay day. This time the rewards are smaller.

But I'll still make a fair distribution.

This one is communal.

This one is mine.

These two I'll save up for you when you emigrate to Guangzhou city in the future.

No pay, how's that fair?

Fairness means that if we fix your sword, you will repay our favour.

That's right. It will be fair if you discreetly get our pay share for us.

Don't blame us for being unfair then.

Oh yes.

Better let Little Vampire take the communal money to buy tomatoes.

That's most fair.

You guys are speaking softly. Trying to start a revolution?

No such thing.

I want to take part too.

Let's put it out and have a discussion?

Leaving so quickly?

Village Head, this village is surrounded by mountains.

On the left, gold. On the right, water.

The front faces the crane. The back, jade.

Feng Shui is supposed to be good for both wealth and progenies.

But recently there are many mishaps in the village without any reason.

Is there anything wrong with the Feng Shui?

Feng means air current. It needs to flow so don't block it.

The air current is flowing well with strong wind at the moment.

Nothing wrong with Feng.

What about Shui then?

Hence why I'm here, to see the water current.

Go then.

It's so heavy!

It's terribly hot.

Aren't you two too slow?

Master, how can we walk fast with so many heavy burdens?

Ho! Fong!

What are you walking so fast for?

Are you refugees?

Cousin, are you tired?

A little.

Are you thirsty?

A little.

Let me bring you some water.

Cousin, be careful!

Right. Put your things down and take a rest first.

These things are for the Village Head and everyone else.

These two are working for the community. Not helping me.

Cousin, have a Western style multi-layered cake?

Go up and find out where the origin is.

Hand the stuff back to him.

Here. Cousin, want any more?

A little.

OK. A little.

Good timing. You can take these back.

Don't blame us, OK?

Yes, we're doing it for the community.

What?

I'm not doing it for anyone but my woman.

Village Head, Feng controls population and Shui controls money.

No manpower without air flowing into houses.

No money without water entering properties.

This village's water setting is outstanding.

A Dragon Pearl Hole as the book says.

Over the years, currents and erosion have formed what's called Dragon's Pearl.

There's a saying: Round and smooth pearl, a rich family.

See the pearl and you'll find out.

Then where's the position of that dragon's pearl?

Should be here.

How come it's round but not smooth?

Taoist priest, what does that mean?

It could be something wrong with the water.

All the water around here has a problem.

Tell the villagers not to drink it.

Where's the Captain?

He went up to the water's origin.

So clumsy.

What's taking you so long? Are you having a bath or washing your hands?

I'll be done soon!

Got it.

Luckily the water is shallow.

The water's so dirty. Hurry up and climb out.

Here. Let me help you.

Thank you, cousin.

There's a snake!

Snake!

It's a water snake, run quickly!

I got tangled up!

Hurry up, cousin.

Cousin, are you all right?

This is serious!

- Are you all right? - It's not a snake...

Why are there so many bats in the water?

We don't get many bats here normally.

Send some people to find out if there's a bat nest around.

You're so bad! You've torn my skirt!

I don't have eyes in my back. Why didn't you step away from me?

Don't toy with it. Don't move it around, OK?

What did you say, Mother Superior?

Don't move it around!

Hear me?

- Do you know him? - I don't know that rat!

Make fun of me?

Who is this?

Just the sound and no sight of him. Could it be a high priest?

Don't attack from behind. Hands up!

Sorry, Captain.

What the hell are you doing? Help me up first!

Captain, I've made a discovery.

Just say what you discovered.

I've discovered...

Don't need to say if it's been discovered! Burn up this foreign ancestral temple!

Burn?

Why aren't you going to burn it quickly?

Take that cross out for burning too.

Why are you burning my church?

My subordinate discovered that your temple has got bats nests.

My mission is to burn the bats.

Burning the bats will burn down your ancestral temple too.

This is called logic. Do you understand, foreign lady?

Bullshit! On what basis do you say my church has bats?

And why do you need to burn my church down with the bats?

You tell me. You tell me!

On what basis? You tell me, on what basis?!

We live or die with the church.

Start the fire if you've the nerve!

You kill me first!

My life belongs to the almighty God. I'm ready to sacrifice myself for Him!

In order to rebuild the church, I went through a lot.

I'm extremely determined, even if I have to lose weight.

If you must burn my church, let us perish together!

Have I killed somebody?

Are you all right?

You came at the right time.

We need to burn that foreign temple.

- Why? - Why? Come here.

Captain!

Tell the priest what we discovered.

I've discovered...

Say it!

There are only 5 nuns here. Not enough to share among the 6 of us.

Only a misunderstanding, Taoist priest. A misunderstanding.

We need evidence. Don't talk nonsense.

Yes, yes.

This gentleman is understanding.

He's not muddle-headed like the others.

Auntie, would you show me around?

Yes, it's just some people are not welcome.

You two are an eyesore.

Hey! Let them search inside.

We'll search the surroundings.

Here we are. This way.

Everything can be seen at a glance here.

Downstairs and upstairs are the same size.

No bats can hide here.

Hey! You can't go in.

This is the meditation room for the priests.

I don't have the key myself.

This lock's so rusty. It can be broken open.

We can't. This is holy ground.

It's sacrilege if we do that.

In that case, I won't bother you.

Let's go out then.

- Hold it. - Sorry.

Something's on fire.

Fire? Where?

- See? - Oh dear, a fire? How to put it out?

- Here. - Oh, thank you.

Where's the fire?

You've put it out with the door.

So this room... is a kitchen?

It's not. Why is garlic hanging all over here?

To exorcise the ghosts?

Who's that?

The clothing on the corpse is the same as in this photo.

Father Kei? He's the previous missionary.

So you didn't give up your clergy position.

The Church thought you deserted the post.

In actual fact, you've always been fighting the evil spirits.

I'll clarify everything to the church for you.

Father Kei, may your soul rest in peace.

There should still be another monk.

Over 10 years ago, two priests came to set up a church.

Father Kei was assaulted by devils.

I think the other priest could have become a victim too.

Without enough power, one can't be saved.

Are you so sure they were possessed?

I'm not wrong.

I'm sure they fought.

Look, the Bible's burnt, and the holy water spilt.

Garlic is hanging all over.

It seems that he was defeated, and had his life taken by the devil.

Impossible. Had he been killed by the devil,

how could the villagers have been living in peace all these years?

I think he won.

But why did he commit suicide?

He committed suicide?

Here's the weapon he used to stab himself.

Hallelujah! Get it off quickly!

It's stuck on my back. Get it off quickly, please!

I'm doing that now.

It's his hand... You... I...

Someone outside seems to be asking for me.

God, forgive him.

Punish me alone if you have to.

He didn't do it on purpose.

- You'll teach us how to play? - Of course.

I'm going, Village Head. Nothing has been discovered here.

To avoid a water shortage, it's most urgent to find a new water source.

Hey, Master! Where are you going in such a hurry?

Go quickly.

Let's play again next time.

Why are you sticking that paper here?

The Captain asked you to take note of the notice.

Mother, they want to burn our church.

What can we do, Mother?

Without a home, we have to sleep in the street.

Don't worry. I'll get a powerful person to back us up.

Village Head, how can a water source be found here?

Master, I have to hand it to you.

The two hills are half a mile apart,

yet you could guess that the water level is higher at the west side.

I guess the water origin would be on the west of the mountain pass.

You get up there and try to find it at once.

Cousin, it's cooler under the tree.

Master!

Master!

You guessed it right again.

The origin really is on the west of the mountain pass.

Here it is.

One Eyebrow Priest.

- Well? - Found it.

This mountain is the origin of water.

Four streams merge here. It's the best place for digging a well.

Get digging right away then.

It has to be after noon.

Come back to the family hall and eat first then.

You go first, I'll come shortly.

Job done.

Pack up first before you eat.

Hey, I'm ready to go.

Hey! Wait for me!

The coin sword has been fixed.

But you haven't done what we asked for yet.

Not going? Don't just shake your head.

If you're found out by Master, he'll chop you into pieces for sushi!

Go quickly!

Are you not going? What's up this time?

Oh... it's nothing! Nothing!

- Hey, you go... - You go...

Bullying the little one again?

No, Master.

He followed us when we went to get sweet potatoes.

Yes, to make soup for you.

Don't you get to drink it too?

Errr... yes!

Go early and come back early then.

Master, we're off. We're leaving now!

We're only taking back our savings. That's not stealing.

We deserve it.

Please!

Still shaking your head?

Let's act while Master is taking a bath.

Hey, divided into three shares?

No! One share each.

That's right. One share each. Deal?

Master, I'm only looking for sweet potatoes.

What are you up to?

How much money have they stolen?

Don't know? You're one of them!

Don't go!

Don't go!

Don't teach others to steal if you don't have the guts to do it yourself.

Remember to buy food for tonight's dinner!

Also buy me a pair of boxer shorts with no patterns.

We're arriving soon!

See? Here it is.

Anybody in?

One Eyebrow Priest? One Eyebrow Priest?

Why's there no response?

It can't be. Just now I heard a voice.

Were you too gentle when asking?

Let me do it.

One Eyebrow Priest!

Behave. we need to be sincere.

- Told you not to raise your voice. - Be gentle.

This trip of ours has got to be a success, with no room for failure.

He's avoiding us, let's look for him.

Yes.

One... Eyebrow Priest.

One Eyebrow Priest.

Are you out of your mind?

Behave!

Chick, where is One Eyebrow Priest?

Take me to see him.

What? Went into the chicken run? I don't believe you.

- One Eyebrow Priest! - One Eyebrow Priest!

May God bless them with wisdom.

Let's go in to find him.

Mother! One Eyebrow Priest is really in the chicken run.

It's really good to see you, One Eyebrow Priest.

Halt! I'm performing a magical ritual.

You better leave quickly or I could be harmed.

Don't worry. We're here to save you.

Keep away! There are worms on the ground and they may bite.

So you're catching worms here?

That's right. These worms are poisoned.

Let me help you.

Hey! What are you doing?

Come and help me catch the worms.

Don't! Too many cooks spoil the broth.

Don't worry, they catch worms regularly.

Oh, I can see it!

You saw it all?

Yes. I can see a sinner in God.

I see. You're preaching?

Yes. When I preach to you, you must listen.

I won't listen to you. We don't speak the same language.

If you have something to say, say it to this.

A beast is innocent. but you're worse than that.

Only the Almighty God can guide you back to the right track.

Not only can He create the world for you.

He can also create lives.

He can even split open the Red Sea.

He made the lame walk and the blind see.

The Lord is ubiquitous.

You must believe in His miracles.

You're talking about miracles, right?

If you can hatch a chick out of this egg, I'll believe you.

Mother, how to hatch it?

When you sit down on it, everything's squashed.

He's trying to make it impossible for you, Mother.

That means you have no faith then.

That is quite right.

You keep quiet.

I believe God will have an arrangement. Let's pray together.

So disgusting!

Don't be scared.

It's hairy!

- So disgusting. - It scared me to death!

It crawled out and scared the girls.

Mother, why don't we trample it to death?

No! That is too cruel. Why don't we chop it into halves?

I'd prefer cooking it in a pot of boiling water.

Forget it.

Granted it's bad, but in the hands of God's children...

we should let it go.

Look!

One Eyebrow, aren't you're in trouble this time?

One Eyebrow, it's now too late for you to regret.

All the facts are established.

- Do you admit you have sinned? - Yes.

- Do you confess to your own faults? - Yes.

We have many witnesses. You won't be able to deny it.

Impossible, she's the only one who has seen it.

That's what you thought!

All of us saw the chick hatch from the egg just a while ago.

Then why were you screaming just now?

You would scream if a worm crawled on you!

Oh... So you screamed because of the worms?

Say no more! You have to believe in God with us.

You've come at the right time.

Bastard. We said we'd go back together but still no sign of him yet.

Hey, you're parking your bike? Are you really not going home?

We haven't spent all our money yet.

Forget that. Master's in trouble now. I'm going back first.

Don't worry.

- Hey, you... - Why worry about it?

What's this nonsense? I saw this space first!

Does that make it yours?

You've caught sight of many girls too. Are they all yours? Insane.

Bogey! You've seen it now. Is this yours too?

Guys, you saw this happen. Why didn't you help?

Is that right? I have to help if I saw it?

Stupid!

Let's go.

Bastards! You're cunning and rude. You'll be possessed tonight.

- Master! - Master!

Master, where are you?

Scoundrels. Care to come back now?

- Master! - Master!

Master, are you playing with the bench again?

Playing? I have plenty of time to play along with you tonight!

Don't, don't!

Master, I don't wanna play! Master!

You don't wanna play, but I do!

Master!

Your turn!

Master, she's got in!

It really has followed us back here.

We really are possessed this time.

You must've brought this from outside.

If you can't resolve this tonight, that female ghost will possess you...

...or you.

When I wake up tomorrow morning, you'll become half-man, half-woman.

When possessed, you can't tell the difference between man and demon.

- Master! - Master!

Well, I'll sleep now.

Master, don't be so cruel.

Cruel?

Aren't you cruel for stealing my money?

What now?

Do you believe Master is so ruthless?

It depends.

OK, let's take our chances and invite the ghost to possess us.

Remember to shout loudly for Master.

Master! Ho's possessed by the ghost! He's pale and twitching now!

WHITE JADE BUILDING

With a sigh of pent-up frustration

In a strange land, having lost both parents

I'm as lonely as the single dragonfly

From the end of earth to the other end, I wander

These tender feelings of mine

Are meant for your attention

There...

Why are you smiling so happily?

Why not, with such good wine, music and girls.

Really? Let me try.

Remember to call Master for me.

Master! Fong's possessed by the ghost! He's pale and twitching now!

Don't, don't! Let me go!

Master! Fong's pale and twitching, Master!

I really envy your acting skills. It's so realistic.

Let me get Master. Stay like that.

Master! Help, help!

My hand!

You cried aloud just to tell me your hand's hurt?

Get me the jar!

Why take it so seriously? Just having a bit of fun with Master.

Little Vampire, hurry up!

Master, I got the jar here.

Here, you hold it.

Keep his blood circulating for me.

Be careful, he may bite off his own tongue.

Little brat, you want to win an acting prize for that?

You've even fooled Master.

It's so cold. Are you in trouble for real?

Don't bite your tongue! Don't bite!

Master, he really is possessed!

Stating the obvious.

Don't bite!

Not so hard!

Master, hurry up! My finger's breaking!

All right?

All right.

Bring him a cup of hot tea.

Master, turned out she...

Don't say anything, don't ever tell anyone.

Or you may be in trouble.

You know her background best.

You need to find her a good body so she may be reincarnated.

Nice hot tea.

Hey, what did Master tell you?

He encouraged me to go to a brothel to get some experience.

To look for a whore?

He only told me to go, not you.

Only told him to go, not me? Is this for real?

Step hard on the pedal.

That's right, step hard.

I already did my best.

- That's right. - I'm afraid!

- Don't, I'm here. I'll... - Hold me!

Captain, we seem to have unearthed some antiques!

Antiques?

You ride it slowly. I'll go over and see.

What antiques? In this dump? Just some metal scraps, right?

Don't try to slack off. lower me down slowly.

- Yes! - Yes.

Lower the big Captain!

Here we are. It's okay, stop... stop!

Why is it so dark?

We're getting rich!

Hey, pull me up!

Pull those things up too.

Yes, Captain.

Cousin, you could never have guessed. I'm getting rich this time.

I've found a ruby!

Ruby?

Where is that ruby now?

It's being pulled up.

Captain, why has the position moved?

Let it down slowly.

Captain, its eyes are green & red. Body rotten but not decomposed.

I suggest burning it, or it may become a zombie.

Help, help!

You want to scare me to death? So clumsy.

Hurry! Move the corpse to the rural committee! Come, quickly.

The others get on with their work!

What about that ruby?

Don't worry I'll use it for my wedding.

Here it is.

- That's right. This is it. - Go in.

Just ask them!

The culprit is the pimp, the rest are accomplices.

Arrest them all.

It's my decision whether to make the arrest or not. Go away!

You've been accused of coercion and killing.

Now I must check your girls.

Sure, you're welcome to investigate.

Young brother.

I'm taking her to the room for a thorough probe.

Good!

I'm efficient. I'll check two at a time.

Yes, if you please.

Be smart and hand over the female body and I'll forget we've ever met.

You want the corpse? Why didn't you say so?

Take him to the back yard.

Yes.

- Come. - Go. Go!

Let's get them.

Don't come near!

Oh, no!

Bite him, Bun.

Bun!

Bun, Bun! Don't go away.

No need to be scared of them. Bun!

Die!

Die!

Don't run! Don't run!

Speak up! Where's the corpse?

Have you destroyed it? Stop acting!

Speak up! Did you destroy it?

Where did you hide it? Speak up!

Hey, what's up? Did you find out where the corpse is?

He's passed out.

Now I can only rely on myself.

Work harder!

Get up there.

It's going to be dark soon. You two move that corpse out.

Okay.

Hurry, harder!

Okay, okay.

Captain, the fuel is ready.

We're only waiting for you and that dried corpse.

Wait, wait!

Your dream is gonna be shattered soon. Don't expect me to marry you!

Not yet. I'm cutting it.

Stuck! God damn it!

- Hammer it. - It may get tighter.

- Hoe it. - It'll go deeper.

- Tear it. - Remove a tooth?

What now? Hurry up!

Captain! Captain, need any help?

Wait a second! My cousin and I are busy.

Is this piece useful?

Is this chain useful?

Is your brain still useful?

Throw them away if these are useless then. The ruby won't drop out by itself.

Hold it tight!

What're you staring at me for?

You did it just as hard when you caressed me.

Hurry, harder!

Please. Pull it out! Pull, pull!

Pull it out quickly!

Why are you so loud! Shut up!

Sorry, I'm cursing them only.

YOUNG HEAVEN BUILDING

If he does't descend into hell, who else will do it?

It is you, of course!

- Why hasn't the corpse been moved out? - No idea.

Why aren't you helping to move it out?

We don't need you to do such heavy lifting.

- It's heavy, very heavy! - It's light! You two are good for nothing!

Did you see? We'll get it done.

Stop! You've dropped your glasses, idiot.

Put them on first.

They're not mine.

This is an image design.

Hurry up!

Don't look, or it may turn your stomach.

I feel nauseous when I think of it now. So stinky.

So disgusting. It'll make you vomit.

Take the corpse away and burn it quickly.

Hey, let me have a look first.

What for?

It's full of sound and energy.

Since we didn't prepare firecrackers due to time, this shot represents that.

One shot echoes around the world. It brings infinite fortune.

While we were digging the well, we uncovered a corpse by chance.

We were down on our luck.

But we are lucky to have the priest here. This is our good fortune.

The priest is great! The priest is great!

Thank you.

After this fire incident, we hope it will bring us luck and fortune.

Hey! Light it at once!

Yes!

Taoist priest, what have you seen?

I saw that corpse.

Don't forget to dump the ashes into the sea.

I won't forget such a crucial part. I'll do it accordingly.

Don't you worry when I'm in charge.

Village Head, it was tough on everyone involved today.

Captain, I think you've suffered most.

Don't mention it.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's dinner will be paid by the communal fund.

It was tough on everyone.

- Good, good. - Let's go. Dinner by communal fund.

Let's eat first!

I'll go in to write a report. Don't let anyone interrupt me.

- Cousin. - Well?

It worked! Get inside. Cut, cut, cut! Come on, come.

We're rich!

It keeps staring and I'm scared. Get something to cover it up.

Cover it up.

Damn ghost, you're so ugly.

Cousin, we can go slow now with no one bothering us.

Good, good.

It's still stuck.

Hurry up, will you?

You're fast when doing that thing every time.

Here. Let's finish the job with one blow.

How're you? Are you all right?

Hey! You're bleeding!

Don't drop your head, raise it.

I'll go and get something to stop the bleeding. Don't be scared.

Come.

Be careful.

- Head! - Tail. Tail!

I've won again.

Help the Captain. Stop the bleeding, quickly.

Be careful. Take care on the way.

I'm in luck!

You guard the door.

You scared me!

Mother, have you heard it?

A strange sound outside!

It's horrible!

- That's right! - I'm scared!

Scared me to death!

I'm scared!

Don't.

- Don't look! - It's disgusting!

Don't behave like that. You've made me scared too.

What are you doing?

Still outside at such a late hour?

I have period pains.

Come inside first.

You're all cowards when it matters. Let me go out and have a look.

- The light is out! - I'd better follow mother!

- Mother, me too! - Mother, wait for us!

Hey!

Oh, my stomach.

- Mother, wait for us. - Yes, please. Mother.

A false alarm, it was only the wind.

So there really are bats in the church.

- Yes! - Yes, bats!

The Captain will burn down the church if he sees them.

What to do then?

Mother, what are you staring at?

Don't turn around!

We must get back to our room safely now.

Go when I shout.

Now, ready!

Hurry up and go!

Shoo! Shoo! Hurry up and go!

Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo...!

Go now!

Hold the door shut!

Come and lend a hand!

Some more over there!

Beat it at once!

Go to hell!

Go to hell!

It's so disgusting!

Mother.

What sound is that?

What's going on?

Quickly take off your shoes to block that hole!

Some more over here too. What to do?

Mother, we can't beat those bats after all. What should we do?

Don't be afraid. A few bats can't hurt us.

They're getting in!

Don't be scared. Sit here and hold this door.

I'm so scared that I'll wet my pants!

Get out of the way!

Hold that gate! Don't back down!

Go to hell!

Stop praying! Quickly hold the door!

Hurry up!

Go into hiding quickly! We can't hold it here.

- Hide under the coffin at once! - Quickly, quickly.

Don't come out.

Help!

Miss. I've done my best, but I still can't find your corpse.

Please don't get angry and entangle us.

How about I'll give you three meals a day until you find your body?

That's no solution.

So you have a solution?

Sure. Bury that jar and the souls and we finish this matter.

NOT ALLOWED

What do you suggest then?

Hey! We can't let it out!

Letting it out like you just did will endanger my two pupils.

Master, we really did our best.

Yes, we searched the whole village but still nothing.

It's the lantern then.

You follow that lantern.

It will lead us to that girl's body.

Where are you going? Get inside. Don't wander around.

No harm done.

Over there.

Master, look!

The body's intact. Bring it back.

Master! Master!

Where's my shoe?

Master, the body has been found intact?

Master, you really are great!

Like master, like disciple.

What are you doing?

Catch this!

Hold it.

Put the corpse down.

Go to hell!

Master, are you all right?

You fend him off for a bit.

Run quickly!

Master, Master! It's following us here.

Go to hell!

Run quickly!

Take the corpse with us.

How come the corpse is here?

Run quickly!

Hey, Ho. Can you make it?

I have to no matter what. Cross over it by stepping on my back.

Stepping on your back? I'm not used to doing that.

Hurry up and cross it! I can't hold on much longer!

Hurry up!

It's getting close! Cross the bridge quickly. Hurry!

Master.

Hurry up!

Run!

Run quickly!

Careful. Careful!

Hold on to that corpse!

Oh no!

Let go!

Let go!

Master!

It's not my fault! Only a misunderstanding.

Scared me to death!

Let's get out of here at once.

Master.

How come there are so many bats?

You've got the wrong corpse!

Go and bring it back!

I'll go get it then.

Master.

Go back and bury that corpse first. I'll find the Captain of security.

CAUTION: BE CAREFUL OF VAMPIRES.

Master! You've come at the right time. The vampire has come back to life.

I know. Where's the Captain?

He's brewing medicine inside.

Hey, be vigilant.

Cousin, get up and take the medicine. It's a tea with soothing effects.

Here. It will cure your palpitations.

I'll cool it for you if you think it's too hot.

Poor you.

One scare gives you icy cold hands.

One bite could probably take your life. Luckily you were not bitten.

After drinking this tea, you'll sweat and get better.

Let go! Assaulting my cousin?

She's turned into a vampire.

Going after my cousin now when you've got no ghosts to catch?

I'll show you if you don't believe me!

You've only proved to me that you're a pervert. Get out!

Well, you'll be a vampire soon!

Woman? Over there?

Why are you squatting here?

I got bitten by flying bats whilst squatting in the church.

Come with me to save them quickly.

Let me put on my trousers first.

You wait for master to come back.

Hey! How many bats are there?

How could we count them?

You think they'll stand there for you to count?

They're all over the sky.

It's an incredible scene. No one will believe you if you tell them.

Then you've found just the right person.

How are you going to repay us after we get it sorted?

Someone is dreaming in broad daylight.

Don't know what you're talking about. Come quickly!

Why aren't you coming in to help Master?

Hey, where are you going?

Come. Let's go.

Keep calm and be quiet.

Let me see what's happening.

I told you to keep quiet! You still keep on shouting.

Keep quiet!

Hurry up.

It can't be. There were lots of bats here.

Mother was attacked by them too.

There really is none here now.

Go inside and search.

Here.

How about we just drive them away?

They can fly back after.

But then we can come regularly.

Smart arse.

Hurry up.

Mother, Mother!

Leave quickly!

- Leave quickly! - Don't go out! Lots of bats outside!

Fire tactic!

Turn them into roast bats!

We truly messed up this time toying with fire.

Get to the roof! You're too slow even if there's gold on the ground.

Don't go, he's afraid of light.

Save them first.

Hold on to me!

Get up.

You don't need to come up!

Stay calm as I'm here.

I'll serve as your light to help you.

You won't get in trouble following me.

He's in trouble now. Go up!

Go up!

Hey! Have faith in me!

Let me show you if you don't believe me.

Come, come.

See? Isn't that right?

He's in trouble again!

I'll be in trouble if I don't hurry.

Let me lure them elsewhere. When I shout, you take them away.

Then you shout louder.

He's done it! He really shouts loud. Let's go now.

It doesn't seem like he's shouting for us.

In that case, let me go down and see.

What now, master?

I now want to hang dry a western salted fish.

Do you want to help?

No, thanks.

It's safe here. Come down quickly.

It's not safe here. Go up quickly.

They're here, come.

Don't come close, it's dangerous!

Too many hands make a mess.

He's coming back again. Run!

Mother, are you all right?

He's been sunk by Mother's super meat cannonball!

- It's coming up again! - Oh dear!

BYE - BYE

Starring: LAM JING-HONG, YIP SO, FRANK JUHASZ

TIFFANY LAU, REGINA KENT, CHAN SUET-MAN, JOANNA CHAN

Guest Starring: CHIN YUET-SANG, BENNY LAW, KING LEE, WONG CHI-KEUNG

Cinematography: CHO ON-SUN

Action Direction: TUNG WAI, LEE CHI-KIT

Art Director: HO KIM-SING, Costume Designer: BOBO NG

Special Makeup Artist: MOK WAI-HONG