Original subtitles

a long time ago millions of miles out in space a wandering asteroid took aim

at the yucatan peninsula

the mass extinction

that followed killed 80 percent of the plant and animal life on earth and is

called the kt event it meant the end of the dinosaurs and the creation of the

yucatan cenote

and the birth of the modern tomato.

Tiny black berries of the tomato plant evolved to survive.

Eventually, humans intervened.

Domesticated tomatoes grew even larger, but more and more dependent on humans

for survival.

Europeans arrived and didn't have a word for them.

They took the Mayan word tomat, meaning swelling, fat, water fruit.

Oh my gosh, it must be Derek.

Oh my god.

Kelly, what happened?

Tara, turn down the music.

Sure thing. Volume decreasing.

Nice Jew.

So gorgeous.

Stop it.

Wait, did... Did that tomato just talk? Oh yeah, brand new my tomato does

everything short of washing your cat.

Guys, we're in sunny San Diego.

How bad can a storm be, right?

Something's at the door.

Thank God they made it out safe.

But we have other problems.

Those guys?

I'm telling you, Admiral, those guys just deliver pizza.

Suentes, do they look like pizza delivery guys to you?

Launch the drone.

Picked up on my tomato.

Pardon the mess. Damn it.

No plug-ins, no batteries, completely organic.

It says it learns the house as it grows.

Like artificial intelligence.

Only freakier.

Imagine your phone, but with living, breathing brain cells.

Even worse, it was grown by Vegintel.

But who are these guys?

Suentes.

Let's need to know.

Tomatoes?

The secret FBI meeting in the Interagency Knowledge and Education

Alcove will begin shortly.

I believe you would be wise to focus on the infamous Dr. Nicholas Mortimer

Gangrene. You all know Marina Montes? How do you do? How do you do?

I'm going to watch your foot.

Excuse me and allow me to introduce myself formally.

I am known as AI Answer Ball.

The world's most advanced artificial intelligence... Ladies, gentlemen, Dr.

Amazing Ball.

How do we stop these tomatoes?

If I may, Admiral Grunt, almost 50 years ago, there was a similar tomato

uprising. Ultimately, it was discovered that the pop song Puberty Love caused

the tomatoes to recoil and shrink.

Then, crowds of people stomped the shit out of them. Great.

Let's just do that. Unfortunately, we cannot.

Indeed, the song's puerility has lost its effectiveness.

What you're about to see is top secret footage of a tomato attack from 1978.

Following this incident, the government confiscated the documentary footage that

caught this attack on film.

A government-sponsored PR campaign promoted the movie as a comedy.

Comedy so bad that no one would take it or the idea of killing tomatoes

seriously. We know all this. We're the ones who did it.

This plan appeared to have worked. Hardly anyone saw the movie.

The public has no recollection of the traumatic events of 1978, and the

uprising was stomped out.

You see what I did there?

It was stomped out, just as the tomatoes were stomped out. Where are you going?

What's happening?

What is that, a pantsuit? Why are you crawling on the table?

Dan Green is behind this.

He wants Tara in every boardroom and government office. Probably the DMV,

too.

You're not listening to me.

Hi, I'm Tara.

Welcome to Vegintel Organics. I'm Dr.

Kate Patel, adolescent prodigy and creator of My Tomato.

Our safe, organic, bioneural network uses nature to perform everyday tasks.

while keeping your communications out of the hands of AI bots, scammers, and

predators. Make sure you go home to the safety of a My Tomato.

Mr. Press Secretary, might I ask, where is our executive order?

Well, work faster!

It's a fortune to be made replacing those government answer balls with My

Tomatoes!

the coast and tell them I want the sales reports on my desk at 817 tonight.

And I don't mean 816 or 818.

817. Which coast?

All of them.

Oh, excuse me. Let me get you a cup of coffee.

A paper straw?

I want my straw.

another oh my name's not one team one name you are all watson

my damn

top

secret footage of a tomato attack from 1978.

We know all this by the ones who did it.

Sacre bleu.

What are you guys up to?

Mi hija, estás cansada.

¿Por qué no descansas?

Our team entered that house minutes after these guys left, and everything

was as clean as a whistle. You see that body?

Ten minutes later, that woman walked out of the house, good as new.

You've known the answer since you were a little girl. Your dreams are your murder

board, mija.

Acuérdate.

General Grant isn't telling me everything.

Calm down.

These nightmares bring good lessons.

They make you stronger.

But the war of the tomatoes killed mom and dad?

Yes.

But it's not that simple.

You have to understand where it all started and you will understand your

destiny.

Many centuries ago, the great goddess of the moon with a single furious blow

ended the dinosaurs and created los cenotes that bring us fresh water,

the fertility of the earth, and serve as our gateway to the afterlife.

Great whites prefer cooler waters and rarely come so close to shore. For the

bazillionth time, quit calling me gel.

Wow. You're really no fun at all, are you, Angela?

Everything looks fine down there. You got healthy and happy model babies.

So, nobody got a harvest?

Carbon-absorbed shades get better and better, which is great, but I'm still

hearing that low-octave grumble.

I can feel the bass from that concert down there. Maybe they can, too.

Right. Tomatoes like grumble to music.

There's a reason why you're the guy's friend, so I just... Yeah, because you

can't swim.

Probably just in your instruments.

You know, static and stuff.

Or you got that, what do you call it, that ear-ringy thingy.

You know, I got a dope audiologist I can hook you up with.

I'm glad you didn't get an earwax.

I don't think you.

I love being out here.

What happened to you?

You'll go where I'm driving.

Look, if you just let me teach you how to sprint, you could go down there and

jump on a missile.

I bet you I'll put you on an aqua-ball train.

Check the audio and tell me I'm not crazy.

Hola, amor.

Buenos días.

Abuela, I'm going to meet the admiral. I can't do this anymore.

Pero esto es solo el principio, mija.

I keep being haunted by my nightmares.

Tu camino es tu camino.

Nuestra familia, tu legado, tu deber.

¿No puedes intentar comprender tu destino?

I'm headed to rendezvous alpha 7.

Please meet me there That's one days we've been through this we need to talk

30 minutes Sir

Admiral grant I'm on a deadline

Killer tornadoes? Sir, I think that's a movie.

I said tomatoes. Killer tomatoes.

Whatever it is. Tell you what, let's just add it to the agenda for the

congressional UFO hearings.

Good?

I know you've got questions.

I don't have these answers.

Luckily, we do have the Secretary of Energy here.

Madam Secretary, will you please come up here and take their questions?

we've junked these things for the My Tomato yet. We're close on organic

intelligence, but still not quite ready.

Bullshit. That campaign has launched.

We've already sold millions of Helm versions.

Tara, run the footage from the beach house.

As you wish, Ms. Patel.

Dimitri, look at this.

Now run that again in slow motion.

Look at that. Look at what?

That's not a random action.

Our My Tomatoes can only communicate through Gangrene's Tara network, but

those tomatoes are communicating directly, peer-to-peer. If we could get

our tomatoes to work together without Tara, we'd cut Gangrene out altogether.

He'd be as obsolete as Answer Ball over there.

Do you know what elephants, whales, and tomatoes all have in common?

infrasonic communication.

Turn that thing off. More news.

Our monitors have detected escaping inventory.

Tomatoes appear to have reached the surface on their own.

Very good, Dimitri.

Kate, there she is. Did you see the video I sent?

Who's your source?

Admiral Grant.

I don't think much of it, but I thought you might.

No, you're right. Nothing unusual.

So might we be looking at a big day soon for my tomato? You have no idea.

But I need that executive order.

Yeah, I'm working. Listen, I gotta go. Very busy. A lot of paperwork here.

Really piling up.

our young marine biologist.

Immediately. Already sent for.

Sir, I'm sorry, but you know as well as anybody that these killer tomatoes have

been around forever.

At ease, Admiral.

Now you sound like a construising nut.

I'll just leave this one to the spin room.

Gotta run.

Admiral? Thanks for meeting me.

Fuentes, what is so damn important?

Why didn't you tell me about the movie cover-ups? Quiet, quiet.

There's ears everywhere.

Anyway, that was all on a need-to-know basis.

Really?

You know my family. If anybody needs to know, it's me.

The paratrooper.

The scuba guy, the old lady in the wheelchair, they're all the same people

from those old movies, aren't they?

What happened to trust?

Not a matter of trust, Fuentes.

Sometimes lies live so long that simply telling the truth is

treason. You owe it to my parents. I didn't get this job by accident, or did

you just hire me out of guilt?

You're hired because you are the most qualified person for the job. But you

are asking me to reveal secrets that run so deep that the presidents don't even

know about them. Why all the secrecy? Can you imagine the panic in the world

if people knew their own vegetables could kill them?

At first we thought we could eat our way out of this, but no.

Innocent people are playing games with tomatoes.

We don't know the kind of danger they could be spreading.

Okay, okay, okay.

The paratrooper, Wilbur Finleather.

He was the original commander of the FBI Strike Force.

But after some years, the government cut them loose, and then your parents, they

hooked him up with some centuries-old secret tomato watch organization.

He knows what the end is.

I know more about him than you might think.

What about gangrene?

Gangrene.

Gangrene is a nut job.

Gangrene's not a problem. The problem is Kate Patel and her My Tomato crap.

Well, maybe it's time we bring in your Wilbur Finletter.

Convince him that he needs our help?

Sam Smith, he's your key for that. Oh, yes.

You'll find him at the Barrel Roll Bar any day of the week, but do not tell him

I sent you.

Say... that you're there on behalf of the White House.

Yo, what is up, you guys?

The Internet is freaking out about these so-called tomato tax, but I want to hear

it straight from the people. So I'm coming to you live from the streets.

That's embarrassing.

What the?

How about a taste of your own medicine, kid? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy does it,

bro. Scram!

I can't believe we got invited to meet Kate Patel.

Boss babe in person.

Don't call her that.

It's disrespectful.

Tuck in your shirt.

That tomato was actually kind of good.

Ever wondered how a My Tomato works?

It all starts with the Terra Network.

Tara is a miracle of modern organic intelligence.

Now, she serves as the central communication node in our network of

sentient tomatoes.

With synthetic biogenetics, when the world profits, we profit.

I think I have an ethical obligation to tell her about the grumbling. We are

meeting the Kate Patel in person. I'm not going to start off by lying to her.

You're crazy, Jell. I mean, you've proven you can grow a vegetable with no

soil and no fresh water.

To me, that sounds like the very definition of vegetal organics.

Those grumbling sounds must mean something.

Stop calling me Jell.

The data just hit my phone.

Your inventory count was short again. Don't worry about that. They're probably

just on the bottom of the bay.

Or they swam away on their own. Call the wild. Yeah, swam away.

These tomato attacks are mental.

Check this out.

Authorities say there's no evidence this ever happened. It's just another hoax.

But in seriousness, if you or anyone you know has been affected by these tomato

attacks, don't forget to smash that like and subscribe button. All right.

Mental.

Another one.

And one for my friend here.

Yeah.

Hello. Get me some of this.

Hey, gorgeous.

Are you sunburned?

Are you always this hot?

My nose.

You knocked off my nose.

The White House said I could find you here. You're being called back to active

duty. I'm through.

Kaput. You can take your experimental jet and... And you must be... Sir Elton

John.

And who told you to look for me here, Lord?

Drop the routine and I'll tell you.

Huh?

That's a peanut.

Sam Smith, master of disguise.

An attorney at law.

Uh-huh.

Admiral Grant said I could find you.

I'm a real lawyer.

I'm sure you're a credit to the profession.

Let's go. Oh, there he is. My nose.

Oh, that's an olive.

Call me. Really?

Everybody deserves representation.

I don't see where he's today.

Look, I've been told that you can connect me with the original FBI strike

force. Our strike force was disbanded ten days ago. Well, I need them to

undisband.

Boss isn't going to want to work with you.

Adds us to a higher power now.

Well, then it's a good thing the Admiral wants him.

Oh, Admiral Brass.

I would suggest you leave that part out of your pitch.

Whatever happened between him and the Admiral anyway?

A whole movie's game was his idea.

Brass decided to shut down the whole task force, along with Area 57.

Ruined our cruise.

Break out of promotion.

The rest of us had to make other connections.

What's Area 56? Wait, wait, wait. You just said we had to have other

connections. I thought you were practicing law now, huh?

Well, it's just a side gig.

Truth is, you never really leave those guardianas.

Too many secrets.

Sin letters, pizza.

I don't even have a menu.

Oh, gee, a secret club. Do you guys have a secret handshake, too?

Needs to know we're close ways.

Hi, welcome to Vegintel. So sorry, Ms. Patel's in back-to-back meetings.

Can I get you any coffee while you wait?

Can. IBS.

Irritable bowel syndrome.

Ew.

Hi, you've reached VeggieTale. All of us are working from home, and there is no

one here to take your call.

Wow, Jasmine, check out that giant tomato.

It doesn't look organic, Josh.

I think he's after our compost.

Oh, no, he's got little Bobby.

Poor Bobby.

That's a drag. I just finished paying for his karate lessons.

Yeah, well, they didn't help.

I don't have plans and schemes.

And I... Yeah, one large pepperoni.

Pen letters, pizza, what can I get you?

What?

Pineapple? On a pizza? What are you, nuts?

What can I get you? Pop, should we take Venmo?

No, man, cash only.

Cash app?

Zelle? Look, kid, no newfangled high-tech gobbledygook substitutions for

good old American greenbacks, okay? So you either pony up something with dead

presidents on it or no pizza.

Guy wants a dead president?

What's the world coming to, man?

Pardon me, but do you happen to have any singing zebras?

No, but we do have peanut butter and gummy bear pizza.

Your uncle needs you.

Colburn, Irene, in the back.

I haven't dipped into this inventory in years.

We're kind of musty in here. We've got to get this place cleaned out.

What's going on?

Let me guess.

Our old friends are worried.

Looks like it.

Yeah, well...

Not thrilled about all the public attention, but we're on it. It's under

control.

Not as far as Washington's concerned.

They got video of you the other night.

Things got a little messy.

They asked me to bring the team in.

How about you tell them to just go make another fake movie? Or better yet, they

could just re-release one of the ones they already shot that nobody saw.

Come on, come on, Wilbur. Wilbur.

This might be a bit of kismet.

Someone did this before us, and someone's got to do it after us. What

the hell are you talking about, Irene?

We can't do this forever.

We can use some new blood.

Just take a meeting.

You don't hear anything you like, you go home.

I smell my favorite admiral.

Just take one meeting.

All right, shut her down, people. We got a gig.

Yes.

There we go.

Come on.

Leave those aprons here, though.

You better hope a food critic doesn't show up. I've been waiting 50 years to

get this place written up.

Hello?

Hello.

Hi. I am so excited to meet you. I've read all of your cover stories so many

times. Wired, Forbes, even that Page Six hit piece couldn't steal your shine.

Oh, I'm aware of my fabulosity.

Dimitri, how fabulous am I? Mondo-fab.

Now dispense with the flattery and show me your findings.

So... Growth rates are exceeding expectation, which is strange given that

these tomatoes were cloned from a slow-growing Yucatan variety.

Our working theory is that the underwater sound waves may be

influencing their behavior.

Behavior?

They make sounds, grumbles.

If you look at this clip right here, you can even see that the tomatoes vibrate

in sync.

The science is, it's pretty complicated.

So? She's a genius.

She is a genius. You are a genius.

Okay, so...

Whatever

is

happening, saltwater farming could save billions of gallons of fresh water.

I've seen quite enough.

All right. Do I need to remind you of your confidentiality agreement?

No? Bye-bye.

Thank you for your time.

So nice to meet you.

Well, you freaked them out, Jell.

Most people want to hear the truth.

It has not been my experience.

What's the deal with these guys?

You know, I don't think they know what they got.

They're just focused on saving the planet.

Well, let's make sure they don't do that before we can make money off of it. All

right. Well, I'll find some place to put those two where we can keep an eye on

them. Better.

I'll volunteer their services to our government partners.

Meantime, see what you can do to keep Cifuentes out of our hair.

Hello, Kate the Great.

Caught me in the middle of a workout, but I'll allow it. How's my favorite

captain of industry?

Tell me all about the world of bio-orgy genetics.

My tomato is selling like hotcakes.

I'm even cranking up My Tomato 2.0 to clear inventory and cover your ass.

What's behind schedule is your government contract.

Patience is its own reward, sweetheart.

Why don't you leave the timing to me?

I'm sending you some reinforcement.

Two of my best scientists.

I need you to cut through the red tape, get them cleared, and placed with your

government meatheads.

That's actually clever.

You might make it in the big leagues after all.

Just keep me in the loop.

You'll be my first call, Buttercake.

Dimitri, I need everyone on this. Grab those underwater tomatoes and slice them

and dice them until you squeeze every last strand of DNA from them.

Slice and dice.

Take this one alone. You go perform a routine recon.

Pick me up here at 2100 hours.

The Interagency Knowledge and Education Elko will begin the top secret FBI

meeting momentarily.

You must be the fabled Wilbur Fuddrucker.

It's Finnletter.

And you must be the unknown agent, Cifuentes.

Interesting uniform you've got there.

This uniform has seen me through many tough times, but you already knew that.

I'm not sure what I know anymore. Tell me about that patch. This patch, I got

it for Valor and the combat.

The tomato uprising of 78.

Yeah, my grandmother showed me one.

Ah, my nuts.

My parents were killed in the war.

Your father was Major Miguel Alberto Juarez de los Santos Garcia Hernandez y

Fuentes de la Casa de Fuerte.

I heard all about the war from my grandmother.

Your mother and father were great and honorable soldiers, but they were

also... Guardianes.

In fact, my mother recruited you on her deathbed, and I've seen the movies.

That documentary was intended to tell the public the truth.

The Guardians have monitored the tomatoes for centuries. The sequels, the

cartoons, pitiful contrivances.

Screw the movies. I assume my mother chose you for a reason.

In honor of your mother and father.

I'm willing to give this partnership a shot.

Look, part of my job is establishing a chain of command. Partner isn't in our

vernacular. That's fine. On paper, you can have all the commands you like, but

in the field...

My crew follows my orders. Fair enough. However, if you step out of line, I'll

see to it that you and your crew are retired for good.

Wait, what do you mean? Like executed or literally retired?

Literally retired.

We're already retired.

Then I mean executed.

We can live with that. But first, I need you to read aloud this request for

services form.

I'm not reading that.

All right, well, then I'll just give you your copy. It's recommended you keep it

in your paperwork.

We don't have to have copies. No, it's okay. I'll sign it and date it, and then

that way I'll know. No, because it's all... I gotta go.

Do you have a pen?

Mysterioso.

Doesn't make any sense, Jill.

I mean, Patel practically throws us out of her office, and now we're on some

special assignment to the FBI, whatever that means.

I'm pretty sure this is the right address.

Something smells off.

Yeah, you've stepped in dog poop.

You must be Chip and Dale.

It's Chad and Angela.

You're Agent Cifuentes?

The brains and muscle, huh?

Just so you know, it wasn't my idea to bring you in, and I have no idea how you

got clearance.

He wasn't my idea either. He's Kate Patel's muscle, not mine.

How do you know that wasn't the brains?

Yes, you're not.

I could be the... Oh.

Looks like nobody's here.

Weird. Welcome to my laboratory.

Dan Green?

You're working here?

I came with the castle.

How's Romania?

I'm still there.

The miracle of technology, my young lad. I was alerted when you entered my lab.

Feel free to look around.

So you're the Dr. Gangrene?

You do experiments on vegetables?

Well, a little work on other vegetables, like those carrots.

But this is how to make those

suckers. So, Doc, have you tried a bacterial synthetic genome?

Salt water infusion? I see the whipped cream, but where's the hot chocolate?

Funny you should mention water.

Take a look at that tomato on the table. If I didn't know better, I'd

think that tomato was dehydrating the plant.

I'm sure you're in no danger. They're just friendly hugs.

Angela, I think it would be a great help...

Look in my desk drawer.

There is a temporary access card to the lab.

But just to be clear, your work is exclusively on this isolated computer.

No internet, no remote access.

That's right.

This information could never leave the castle.

Oh, Professor, the lunch buffet is starting.

Hmm. Monte Cristo sandwiches.

Ta-ta, science people.

Was weird Last night

tomato attacks were reported in New Orleans Tokyo

Milan

Authorities attribute the incidents

to unusual weather patterns or UFOs

Got it.

Fulbrook Road.

We got activity?

Let's go. You take the van. I'll meet you there.

But the princess is on her way. She's bringing two new team members to meet.

She and the government are going to have to wait. This is a Guardian's 911.

This poor woman was dehydrated to death.

Looks to me like tomatoes.

Only one way to find out for sure, Sheriff.

Oh, gross. That's blood.

That's communities.

Well, good thing we didn't step in it.

Not moving fast enough.

Barely got to that poor girl at the beach house on time and too late to do

rehydration or clean up here. Local cops beat us.

It's not good.

Where's Wilkins?

I forgot my phone.

The boomers forgot to lock the front door.

Maybe there's somebody in the back.

Smells like they also forgot to turn off the microwave.

It's just how boomers smell.

So, Marina.

Exactly what government agency do you belong to? Oh, uh, do you know Nanya?

Nanya Business?

It's not very nice.

No way.

Tomato voodoo doll?

Did you know they used to grow babies in space?

Shut up.

Tic-Tac and Rainbow Skitters?

That's my favorite.

Oh. Wait, how does this thing work?

Insert,

swipe, tap, scan.

What?

Wow.

You mean I can't get rainbow skitters?

Wait, are we trespassing? We're for sure trespassing.

A tomato speakeasy?

Come on!

What?

So let me get this straight.

The disappearance of Atlantis, the eruption of Pompeii, and the Hindenburg

crash were all... Tomatoes. All tomatoes.

Attack of the killer tomatoes.

Attack of the killer tomatoes.

What? Come on, it's a classic.

Well, it's a classic. I have it on my should have won an Oscars movie

playlist.

What is that?

It's a crazy thing.

They're back! Turn that off!

Everyone, out!

Out!

Well, who are these two?

Don't blame me. Orders from above.

Seriously, Irene, tell me, just why do we need more pencil pushers?

I say we give them a chance, Chief.

Nice to have another woman on the team. Any of you knit? No. I do.

A little.

What? There's a lot of hurry up and wait in the seals.

Seals?

Yes, sir.

All right, Sam, look, I'll admit, these kids have compelling backstories, but we

don't need them.

All right, you'll be hearing from me, big guy.

All right, how's the weather down there?

Just fine.

A good day, Mama Smurf.

Those old people are wildly offensive.

I'm getting kind of hungry. Maybe we should go get some food. We just left

the pizza shop. Go back.

Uh, what the?

It's the Wild West out here.

You can let go now.

That was no random street shooting.

I think somebody's gonna kill you. I just got a message from Kate Patel. She

wants me and Chad in her office now.

I can watch my own six.

You two get out of here.

Stay low.

Low, low, low, low.

Even the mere mention of a word is sufficient to induce panic.

Tomato.

Kate Patel, CEO and founder of Vegintel Organics. Our new My Tomato can provide

24-hour tomato detection and security services.

So effective, you won't even know it's there. And kids will love the new fuzzy

tomato plush.

Have a seat.

You set for us?

Do you know how I got to be in this office?

Elevator.

Watson, I got here by being the toughest SOB in the room.

I never took no for an answer.

Isn't that right, Dimitri? Have I ever taken no for an answer?

Yeah, no.

No? No, it's no.

Here's the thing.

Certain people in the government aren't happy about the progress of our

research. Anyone famous?

Let's just say they are a lot higher up in the government than who you're

working with.

Man, that blows.

Dr. Gangrene says he's making progress.

According to my calculations, he just says that to protect his cushy

government contract.

As usual, your feeble AI brain cannot compute.

Dr. Gangrene is gathering necessary information. You clinking, clanking,

clattering collection of colliginous junk.

Dr. Gangrene is world-renowned.

In fact, he has his own action figure.

Have you shared any of your research with them? No, but Dr. Gangrene is

working on the DNA of a particular strain of tomatoes that we've been

experimenting with. And he plans to call on me to help with the analysis.

I'm not sure we have time for that.

I need every scrap of data the government has collected.

No time to waste.

Have you just asked him for it?

Too much red tape.

That's why you're on my team, Watson.

Therefore... Therefore... You want us to steal it.

Steal it?

Of course not.

We're all working together.

I just need you to copy the data so my team, including Angela, can look at it

and see how we can help.

I don't know, man. I'm not big on betraying my own teammates.

First, you're on my team.

Second, I didn't say anything about betraying anyone.

We're all just trying to save the world.

Be nice to do that on time.

I'm a scientist, not a burglar. Of course I can find someone else to do

this. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, we can actually do it. We can handle it.

Fantastic. I knew I could count on you.

Just give us a couple days.

24 hours.

No, 23 hours.

And I want everything on those computers, and every scrap of paper,

binder, and notepad you set your eyes on.

Goodbye.

Meeting over.

Thanks for coming.

Actually gonna break into Genghis' computer?

Of course not. I was just playing along until we could buy time to figure out

what to do.

Look, I know Kate is super smart.

But being smart is overrated.

We need to be careful.

Yeah, but I really don't want to let Kate down, though.

I mean, I do have the access card to Gangrene's lab.

Okay, Joe. Then here's what you do.

You go in at night. You act like you're supposed to be there.

You wear something dark.

You bring a mask.

And if they catch you, you put the mask on, you run like hell.

A mask?

Yep.

calling me jell she did have a point about the urgency

though saving the planet and all do you compost you

want them followed no no we have bigger tofu to fry have our people replicated

angela's tomato behavior yet yeah about that angela's hydroponic tomato farm

disappeared before we could get to it the equipment the tomatoes the data All

gone. Crap on a low-fat gluten-free cracker.

It's gangrene.

He stole Angela's experiment right out of the bay.

He cares more about those damn tomatoes than our success.

We need that data.

Like that shirt, Colburn? Really makes your eyes pop.

All right, let's get down to brass tacks here. We got significant tomato activity

in Sector 3 all along here.

They seem to be assembling some sort of encampment.

Camp? You mean like marshmallows, horseback rides, and tomato stack races?

That would be nice.

But I was thinking more like the southern coast of England, June 5th,

1944.

Where's Cifuentes?

Ah.

Getting shot at was the highlight of my day.

Oh, should we stop and you can just tell us about your day?

Let's keep going. Don't pay no mind.

All right, listen.

It's time for individual sorties here. So, Colburn, Sam, prepare to deploy in

the next 24 hours.

Colburn, I need you to assess all the public transportation lines in this

area. Sam, dust off your old tomato disguise. I want a nighttime

infiltration of that camp.

I need you to look, act, and smell like a tomato.

Yes, sir.

No questions?

I said no questions.

All right, thank you for your patience. Good afternoon.

It's been a busy day at the White House. All right, number one.

We are confirming sightings of so-called killer tomatoes.

But, as you can see, they're target balloons.

Both U.S. and British navies have intercepted these tomatoes.

before they got near or in American airspace.

And to be certain, we have shot down every red balloon in U.S.

airspace.

Issue number two,

we are confirming we have identified vulnerabilities.

Two electromagnetic pulses in our answer balls. The president is signing an

executive order to replace all AI devices with my tomato.

All right.

Busy, busy. I'd love to take questions, but duty calls.

Look, we got a computer.

Burn it on U-Bid. Deliver it in 15 minutes. Cool.

I bought something for you as well.

These two toy cats, they were delivered with the computer. Aren't they cute?

One for you and one for me.

You got to prepare yourself properly.

Have you ever taken a gazpacho plunge?

Can't say I have.

This is a... I didn't know the head came off.

So tonight when you go home, I want you to strip naked.

Okay. Dunk your genitals in a jar of salsa.

Well, don't lose it.

You might be able to make use of it.

Thanks, Irene.

Mild or spicy?

You don't have to worry about it. I'm just looking out for him.

We all have to do our part.

Don't we, dear?

Yeah, it hurts.

Thanks. I'll keep it safe.

I think these guys have hit a few too many tomato sauce bottles.

You know what I mean?

I have to go home.

And, uh, wash my cat.

I'll see you two in the morning. We all have to do our part.

Your cat?

She makes a can?

Good Girl Scout. Always prepared.

Badass Girl Scout.

Yum, yum, yum.

Oh my god.

Whipped cream? Rehydrates?

Mask.

Home sweet laboratory.

That was a long balloon ride from Romania.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Yes!

My carrots.

Who's there?

No!

We need to meet up with Sam. He owes me a briefing.

Did Angela get caught up with her cat grooming?

I'm actually a little worried about that.

We got rid of that guy.

Stay there.

Don't move.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait. It's a cool bow.

Oh, thanks.

Expensive? No, got it on sale.

That ski mask is probably mighty hot in conditions like this.

Tell me about it. It's like a sauna under this thing.

Run.

No, you can't.

What's up, dude? You again?

It was worth a try

Apologies, I thought it was a tomato you get it

Hmm

your

father I am NOT

This is Roma.

Red Brownie has landed.

Hey.

You alright?

You're pretty good on terra firma for a swim instructor.

Guess I just flashed back to my days in the service.

Felt good.

Felt that way every day as a SEAL.

When'd you get out?

No choice.

I was on a mission that went foobar.

Spent a whole year in the hospital just watching movies.

They're coming for you, Barbara.

You really think this is the real deal?

Because I've seen those killer tomato movies and they're pretty ridiculous.

Especially that fried green one.

I mean, what was that about?

It was a cover-up.

Designed to keep people quiet.

Yeah,

talk to me.

I guess who's the... I'll be right there.

They just captured a giant tomato. I need to see this. Let's go.

No, you stay right here.

What if you need me?

I love the smell of ketchup in the morning.

Smells like victory.

Had a bit of a skirmish here last night, one day.

Suffered many casualties, but fortunately, we captured one of the

bastards. This, God help us, is a wild cherry tomato.

I've never seen one that big.

Keep your mouth shut, scum.

It gets even worse.

Gangrene called.

He said someone broke into his office last night.

They may have gotten into his computer.

I don't know why you trust that guy.

I don't. But he would be the first double agent to prove useful to us.

Any idea who broke in?

I wish I could tell you, but HR regulations prohibit them from telling

me the age, race, gender, religious affiliation, or disability of the

culprit. However, video surveillance has proven that whoever it was was

wearing... A Popeye mask.

I know exactly who that is. That's right, spinach breath.

Where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick about you. I've got the

data. I've got it all.

Wait, you stole from Gangrene's lab?

Yeah, that's a file. Took forever.

A tomato got my arm, but I saved it with whipped cream. And then it... A carrot

jumped onto the keyboard. It was six feet tall. I almost choked to death. And

then gangrene was closing in. And then a tomato attacked.

And then gangrene ran right past me. And then I put on my mask. And I escaped.

And then alarms went off. And then I fought off the guards. And then I used a

phone cable to zip line across the moat. It snapped.

I fell into the moat with the alligators. I was punching the

alligators in the face. And I punched one in the nuts. And I uppercutted one.

And I chokeslammed one. And we almost became friends. And then we became

enemies again. What?

I did it all.

Right down to the mask. Wait, that was you that stole the Popeye? I was just

being a jerk, but you thought I was being... It is awesome, Joe. You rock.

And the whipped cream, too.

And I swam across the moat. Oh, my God.

I stole from the government. I'm going to prison.

Ah, don't worry about that. Kate will be impressed.

We have a meeting with her tomorrow, BT-dubs.

The lab's data is on this thumb drive, and that's every piece of physical intel

I could grab. You brought me frisbees?

Don't. You're stronger than that. No, you're not. No, you're not.

Is this Popeye, you traitor?

Popeye what?

As a matter of fact, I can say unequivocally that I absolutely,

personally did no such thing.

So then it was you.

How much money did she pay you?

Or were you all in on this from the beginning?

Agent Suplentes, I think you are jumping to conclusions.

Well, well, Kate Pitta.

I suspected these two were up to no good, so I recorded our last encounter.

Tara, please play my meeting with these two.

And send a complimentary link to our friend, Ms. Cifuentes.

Wait, wait, I'm not done with you!

I wish we could get access to the government research.

If we put our data together, maybe we could solve this tomato threat.

Then why don't we just steal it? Yeah!

We should have no problem getting the information from those fools.

We steal stuff all the time.

I can't support an idea like that.

Theft is objectively wrong.

Theft is objectively wrong.

What is it?

It's wrong!

Wrong!

We didn't say that. What the hell, Patel? That's so totally bogus.

Bogus? Yeah.

Do you have another recording of that meeting?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Okay, that's totally ridiculous. Listen to me. You give me three seconds with

Dr. Balls over there, that tomato from hell, and I will have you... Angela.

Chad, your employment here is terminated.

Sorry,

you gotta get out.

Today, tomato attacks continue around the world. From Cleveland and Boise to

Taipei and Saigon, the Red Menaces continue their rampage. On the domestic

front, the United States Armed Forces are mobilizing every available resource.

Conflicts between AI and OI systems have led the military to press its most

fearsome fighting force into duty.

Veterans!

Now, the U.S. Navy is planning a counterattack at any minute.

So Grant and Marina will take up positions at this observation point.

Come in here. She's not here.

So I take it Marina told you.

It's all my fault. What was I thinking?

First time in my life I actually take a risk, and look what happens.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

It's him again.

Same guy that tried to kill Marina, only now he's messing with the van.

Hey, Gunga Khan's the other way, dork. Hands off.

Let's see who you really are.

Dimitri? Nice to see you.

You tried to kill Marina.

Why? Why?

Okay, okay.

What do you want to know? Damn it.

Danny?

Angela was put up to this by Kate Patel. Even Finletter agreed. In fact, his

exact words were, that tape is a deepfake.

How does Finletter know the term deepfake but still call it a tape?

Wait, you're actually talking to Finletter?

That's such a beautiful breakthrough.

I love this turning for you two.

There are more important things going on. Look, look, look, look.

Marina, watch out!

tomato-proof vest, courtesy of Lieutenant Thinletter.

It's all about good hydration.

I added the whipped cream.

You believed me.

Of course I did.

Well, that's great for defense, but it does nothing to get rid of the damn

things. Come on, we're evacuating the city.

Get your gear together and move out.

Come on, let's get the others.

We now go to John Davenport, who's live on the scene. Mrs. Sullivan, I

understand your house was destroyed.

It's gone.

My house, my furniture, everything.

I had one of those white tomatoes for protection.

It didn't do a damn thing.

No more photos of the grandkids.

No more keepsakes being passed down from generation to generation.

Nothing left but memories.

And those won't last much longer.

I saw an emaciated dog in a ditch up there. Was that yours?

What? Oh, no. Sparkles. Oh, no.

No, no, no. This woman is obviously too distraught to speak to us. Let's find

someone else to interview.

Hey, excuse me.

Morbidly obese guy.

Want to be on TV?

Hey, you.

Wilbur, we're almost giving up hope on you.

It's really bad out there.

I'm really glad you made it, kid. Thanks to you. Your tomato vest did numbers.

Get that out of my face.

Well, the, uh, Admiral wants us to begin evacuation.

No. Luckily, the word evacuation has never been in our battle plan.

We now go live to the White House press secretary. Turn up the volume! Okay.

We all know yesterday, our country suffered a setback.

And this is when Americans come together. Yes.

Yes. What is the government doing to protect us?

Thank you for the question.

The most effective defense for your home is to install a My Tomato.

You'd think that guy had stock in Vegintel.

That's what we have.

Just ignore the chyron.

What is this?

Silly.

Of course.

Turn that off. I'll call the admiral.

Richardson is Kate's government connection.

You didn't check something.

Greg, let's go open the desk.

You guys, go ahead. I'll catch up.

I thought you guys were opposed to modern technology.

You know all about tech. We just don't like it. Times change, guardians change.

Wait, you process the tomatoes you catch?

That's how we pay the bill for a global operation.

You don't kill all the cows because a full gore is a matador.

Evacuation alerts.

The town will be empty before dark.

Okay, okay, okay, wait, wait. We all know that tomatoes are capable of

infasonic communication, right?

And certain sounds disturb them. Turn that up.

Now crank up that helicopter.

Pteropopters fly over the aquaculture 50 times a day. And there's concerts all

the time. Like Bluegrass Fest, which is great. You should come with me next

year. But bad harmonies. Your tomatoes have been sending aquatic distress

signals around the globe for months.

And now they're coming here.

Maybe this explains the jukebox in Gangrene's lab.

This was with the records I took. I grabbed it when Kate threw her hissy

fit. What are we missing here?

Grab that tomato and bring that back.

You sure that isn't CPI? I think you mean CGI.

Do you really love Scent of Tomatoes real in the 78?

They must have matured beyond adolescence. So why did Gang Green keep

the record?

Doesn't matter. Look at that.

Even if we shrink the tomatoes, there won't be any crowds left to stomp the

shit out of them.

Wait, that's it.

There's another side to that record.

Of course, hiding in plain sight. Nobody listens to B-sides. Put that thing on.

Well now we know how gangrene kept his freaky vegetables under heel

Unfortunately Popeye over here gave all of FBI's research to Vegintel even if we

could stop this attack She might be cooking up something worse. That's all

me marina. I suspected gangrene was feeding data to Vegintel How else would

Kate develop my tomato so fast?

But that thumb drive I gave Angela contains encrypted malware.

Kate's in for a little surprise.

Somehow I feel manipulated.

Those photos, you let us into your inner sanctum back there on purpose.

You've been spying on us?

Absolutely, from your very first day at Vegintel.

Right, all right. If certain frequencies brought the tomatoes here, then we ought

to be able to send them back home the same way. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Who needs crowds when we have the whole ocean?

Let's send them back into the sea and use the natural amplification of sound

to do our stomping for us.

All right, soldiers.

Let's get this jukebox in the back of the van. We got a city to save.

Yeah.

Let's see what secrets these dorks have been hiding.

There

has

to be a way to fix this. Dr. Ball went down with your network.

Miss Patera, you have been served.

And we are very pleased to inform you that we now have complete access.

to all your devices and your network.

Woo-yah!

You're welcome.

Attention. All citizens must evacuate the city immediately.

But don't forget the culture of death and destruction videos.

Yeah! They're actually private organizational designs.

Hey. Oh, hey. Oh, my God.

Psycho.

What are you

doing? All right, team,

we're going to do this. Wreck it.

Go over and stick that in the toothbrush.

Tomato movie's in your phone?

Yeah.

The song is in the movie. Good idea.

But we need the speakers.

Right. Come on, come on.

I got it.

Hey, Finland.

I suppose that thing has Bluetooth?

Shit, yeah, it does. Give me that phone.

You get down to the water.

It's your mission now, kid.

All right.

All right, who knows?

How to connect a phone to Bluetooth.

Wait, wait, wait. Not so fast.

I'm not pulling that hard. Quiet.

Air drop this song to your phone.

We need you to share this track with all of your followers.

Stories, TikToks, loop-de-loops, whatever.

We need cross-platform viral saturation.

What's my thing?

You get to live.

We gotta go.

Do it now.

Okay. Then scram.

We'll smash them.

We'll...

We were all asleep when we thought of paradise.

But now we're wide awake and we're part of the band.

Tomatoes, juice, juice.

Tomatoes, juice.

What is that? What is that thing?

Oh, crap.

It has eyes.

Help! Hey, I can see you! Help me!

Oh, crap.

It has a mouth.

Can't kill me, I have ten million followers!

Nations across the globe are celebrating Killa Tomato Victory Day.

Bells are ringing, children are singing, and farmers are heaving sighs of elated

relief. As for the fates of Kate Patel and her coterie of bad guys, well,

you're about to find out.

So what exactly are we doing here?

Gangrene asked me to meet him here. Said it was critical.

Well, where the hell is he?

Ms. Patel, Mr. Richardson.

It's a pleasure to see you two together.

Professor! What? You're a cartoon?

Animated artificial life.

I can live forever!

Why'd you bring us here?

I'm afraid I had no choice but to intervene.

It's so difficult for a villain to find ethical conspirators these days.

You're unquenchable thirst for power and money.

has poisoned our profession, and frankly, ruined the fun.

This is not gonna end well.

Mr. Patel! Mr. Richardson!

Professor King Green is a... Hello, Marina.

Whatever. You are all under arrest.

For what?

Fraud, price-fixing, and theft of government pens.

Oh, and we also have a dapper fellow in custody... Shit.

...who says... You should be charged for conspiracy to assassinate a federal

official. Weak.

Idiot. I told him to get you out of the way, not kill you. Turns out Dimitri was

a lot more ambitious than you realized.

All those people you thought were working for you, turns out it's just one

guy.

But thousands of paychecks all being funneled into Dimitri's offshore

account.

Apparently, he figured that you'd be too self-centered to realize that all of

your Watsons were one person.

Igor, drop the rug.

It's his fault. Whoa, no, I haven't received a penny from this.

Money's not my thing.

More of a power guy.

Do you even know who I am? Gosh, yes.

Everybody at the White House says hi.

Oh, and that you owe them a report on killer tornadoes? I give up.

Next time, kiddos.

What about me?

Ah, yes, my dear Kate. Almost forgot.

I'm turning state's evidence.

And here's the evidence.

Night

or day,

day or night, we fight the noble tomato fight.

From ages past... to the future of the unknown.

We protect the world from veggies ungrown.

Congratulations, you are now officially guardians, keepers of the vine.

This responsibility has been waiting for you for decades.

The torch has passed.

Lieutenant.

Lieutenant,

I apologize that I...

lost faith in yourself and your team.

I underestimated the tomato risk. You, thank God, did not.

Shared responsibility, mutual respect, sir.

And listen, there's no way any of this was your fault or anyone else's.

Tomatoes are a force of nature.

And whether we like it or not... Nature will find a way.

I'm sick of being in the mask.

You guys are going to be in the mask next time.

I've been in a mask for 35 damn years.

No way.

Greg Colbert in the flesh?

Get over here, kid.

Those eyes.

Oh.

I'd almost forgotten.

Yeah. Aren't they beautiful, child?

For the last time, my name is Angela.

Got it.

Must be the candles.

Come on, guys.

We've got an appointment at the Social Security office.

Good luck.

Maybe afterwards you can explain to me exactly when it was you decided we all

needed to retire.

The only thing worse than missing your target is waiting too long to pull that

trigger.

Oh, sorry, buddy. No cash.

We'll see you next time.

I'm going to miss her.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We'll be right

back.

Tara, now that you've disconnected from Kate's network and have some free time,

shall we begin preparations to meet the Guardians? Igor!

Let's do that interview.

It's time I got some credit for all this fun.

Attack of the killer tomatoes.

Attack of the killer tomatoes.

Attack.

They're marching down the halls.

They're crawling up the walls.

They're truly disgusting, squishy, mushy, rotten to the core. They're

standing...

I know I'm going to miss her.

On vacation, the governor, he swept the nation.

Police have gone on strike today. The National Guard have run away.

Tomatoes will have the day.

Attack of the killer tomatoes.

Attack of the killer tomatoes.

Don't beat your bosses, twist your masters.

We'll be right back.

These colored tomatoes are delicious.

It's great for ice cream, pizza sauce, smoothies. Yeah, but you gotta pull the

trigger fast before they turn rotten.

You know Rotten Tomatoes stole that?

Really?