Original subtitles

And you're sure it was Thumper?

Yeah, absolutely. I was jogging past, spotted him straightaway.

I went over to say hello

and that's when I saw the brothel madam.

There's no point you sticking your nose in, is there?

Not if you want to continue being a cop.

I mean, as far as I can tell, cops don't like dobbers.

We both know Price whacked Doreen. That's a fact.

So now I'm gonna whack Price.

Friends of yours?

We want the original marketing campaign.

It is pretty special, isn't it?

What's with the bloody health kick?

What have you got in there?

We feed that shit to the horses back home

and mainly when they're sick.

Oh. You may have a point.

Big night, eh?

No, not particularly.

I just took some potential clients out for dinner.

Whoo!

Sounds pretty big to me.

It did get a bit blurry near the end there.

I am sure they were angling to come back here for the night.

- If you say so. - How's this?

They want to launch Bowen Lager in Thailand.

- Hmm? - They were pretty keen to meet you.

I gave them the address.

Told them to swing by on the weekend.

- We'd take them out for a feed. - Sure. Nice blokes?

Nice enough. Did not mind a drink, that's for sure.

They were still charging when I pulled the plug.

Good on you, Loz.

You knew where to draw the line.

You said, "Sorry, fellas, I'm a corporate hot shot.

- "And I'm heading home." - Exactly.

- I mean, not straight home. - No?

I'm pretty sure I stopped off at The Sheaf for a nightcap.

Oh.

Ohh.

I'm pretty sure you did too.

A girl's gotta blow off steam every now and then.

I mean, I am working

- around the clock at the moment. - Hmm.

So, actually, you know what I don't need, Leslie?

I don't need to come home to this pigsty.

What? It's alright, isn't it?

Les, it's a shitbox!

I am an accounts manager now. I need to live like one.

Ever since you moved in, this place is a wreck.

We can't keep living like reprobates.

Yeah.

Yeah, nah.

Oi, wanna do something practical like get the vacuum out?

Or… it's garbage night. You could take it out for once.

Or we get a cleaner and we go halves.

I have to work all day and do everything around here.

I'm not a machine!

- That's highly debatable. - Les, I'm serious.

I need you to pull your finger out.

You know what? I'll do you one better.

I'll save your life, you're not gonna last long

on the bloody horse food, are ya?

I'll cook dinner tonight.

Please, not another Dirranbandi fry-up, lord!

Well, what? What do you want, then?

I don't know! Something worth eating.

Surprise me. Just don't let me come home to this.

Fucking fuck!

When Les first came to Sydney,

he was your classic fish out of water.

But Lozza changed all that

when she threw open her doors to the big bloke

after knowing him for all of a minute.

So whatever else he could say about her,

and there was a fair bit he could say,

he couldn't knock her loyalty.

And if she was filthy,

Les needed to make it right quick smart,

starting with a little redecorating.

Meanwhile, across town,

Dolores was doing a bit of spring cleaning of her own.

Only in her case, it was less about the furniture

and more about going through her dead sister's stuff,

which had her thinking about vendettas

and how to start softening up the enemy.

Alright, this one.

Excuse me? Hello?

Ahhh!

Alright, game day, boys.

Give us a call when you get the 50 grand.

Huh?

Dolores is gonna take you out for a big feed,

yeah, to celebrate?

Lezzie! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Hey, great to see ya, mate! Good to see ya!

Les had not been in town all that long,

but unfortunately he'd been there time enough

to make the acquaintance of one Gary Kanarakis.

This dropkick was one of those blokes

who's mates with everyone in his own head

and was living proof of the old saying,

"You don't need a long neck to be a goose".

Jeez, Lezzie, so what are you doing?

Well, Gaz, seeing as I'm standing in a fish shop

looking at fish, what do you think I'm doing?

You're buying fish!

Not much gets past you.

- Does it? - Nah.

Well, at least that's what I was thinking about doing

until I saw those prawns.

I could throw a rock and hit the ocean from here.

They're asking bloody five bucks for a flathead.

- Shit, Lezzie, bad idea. - Lezzie.

For a quick moment,

Les thought he'd just chuck Gaz into the fish truck.

Wouldn't raise the IQ level on the ice one bit.

Don't call me Lezzie.

You don't want to get fish from these guys, mate.

They get them all in from China.

It says "local bream" and "local flathead" on the sign.

Bullshit! Bullshit.

They get them in from China

and they feed them all sorts of weird chemical shit.

You eat these fish, mate, you get cancer.

- What kind of cancer? - Cancer of the brain, mate.

How do I know? I'm not a fucking gynecologist.

Yeah, but how do you know you get cancer?

Everybody knows it, mate. They just don't want to tell ya.

Tell you what, mate, you see right now,

the red snapper, they're running out off the point

and I was about to go grab myself some.

You should come along.

Ah, look, I'm pretty flat-out today. I'm just gonna…

Come on, mate!

You said you wanted fish. You can't go past your red snapper.

Best eating fish in the ocean.

Apart from your perch,

your flathead, your whiting,

your Kingies, your bream…

Anyway, you come out with me,

we catch a fucking truckload, you get yourself a big feed

and all for nothing.

For nothing?

- Sounds pretty good to me. - Yeah, you bloody ripper, mate.

Oh, but, listen, I'm gonna go home first,

grab my ride, you know, and the rest of my gear, I'll come…

No, no, no need, mate.

I've got everything you need down at the marina.

Wait, wait, hold up! You've got a marina?

I'd get me one of these.

Does it cost much to run?

Nah, mate. Cheap as chips.

She runs on practically nothing.

Actually, when I say "practically nothing",

she actually burns through quite a lot of running costs,

you know, maintenance, cleaning, that sort of shit.

- But I tell you what, Lezzie… - Uh-uh. Don't call me Lezzie.

Whatever.

'Cause you're a mate, and because I like ya…

I'm only gonna charge you ten bucks for bait and fuel.

- How does that sound? - Ten bucks?

I took Timmy Fowler out last week and charged him $40.

- Ah, bullshit! - Nearly $40.

Come on, you tight-arse, don't be such a malaka.

It's just ten bucks.

Ah, shit. Looks like all I've got is a 20, Gaz.

That'll do us!

I'll pay you back next time we bump into each other.

Now, come with me…

By this time, Les's mood was deteriorating fast.

He'd just dropped ten bucks for the privilege

of spending a couple of hours with this deadshit,

hours he could have been spending sprucing up the house.

Still, he knew a feed of red snapper

would put a smile on Lozza's dial,

and, besides, Chez Norton didn't need that much work.

Come on, let's go!

Don't stop here, Gaz.

- Look at all this shit. - Mate, best place.

The Bondi outfall's a boon to all good fishermen, mate.

The only thing you're gonna catch here

is cigars and Bondi mud fish.

At least the fish in the bloody market

get the nice chemicals from China.

You know the government's trying to get rid of the sewer outfall?

Dumbest idea they ever had!

Bondi's famous for the bloody thing. Look!

Look how much color it adds to the place.

Mate, if they get rid of it, you watch

the fish and the tourists, they're gonna stop coming, mate.

I highly doubt that, Gaz.

Mate, the government wouldn't know its arse

from a hole in the ground, fair dinkum.

Two words, Lezzie, two words you gotta remember, mate,

use your head, alright?

Keep it in mind, keep it in mind.

So while Les was dodging bullets

by bobbing around in the Bondi outfall,

the young probationary constable

also found herself in murky waters…

Something she'd been nervously anticipating

since she arrived in the Cross.

And there it was…

An invitation to the dark side

and one that she was going to politely decline

for as long as she could.

Alright!

What a beauty!

Jesus.

Shit, Lezzie, you're not having much luck, are ya?

Don't call me Lezzie.

Struth, mate!

I'm gonna run out of bait at this rate, eh?

Hey, listen, Gaz,

I'm getting sunburnt and I'm feeling pretty seasick.

- It's time we call it a day, eh? - You big pussy. Here.

Have a go at those. Just stare at the horizon, mate.

They reckon that helps. Alright?

- What's that? - What's what?

That little buoy.

- That'd be a lobster pot, mate. - Yeah?

- Why don't we have a look? - No, mate, no.

You can't just go and special some bloke's lobsters.

Why the hell not? They're lobsters.

They don't belong to anyone. There's no-one around, either.

Law of the sea, mate.

See, for us sailors, law of the sea is like history.

It goes back yonks to Napoleon and the Vikings.

My ancestors were Vikings, Gaz.

Dunno if you were aware of that.

Right now, I'm getting sunburnt.

My seasickness is getting worse.

So, I reckon you turn this little piece of crap around

and take me back to land before I go all berserk

and take you to Valhalla. What do you reckon?

You wanted to see me, boss?

Take a seat, Probationary Constable.

"Probationary Constable"?

It's okay, boss, you can call me by my name.

Okay, here's the thing.

I'm a reasonable man, wouldn't you say?

Yeah.

And as a reasonable man I like to give my people

a chance to settle in, give 'em time to learn the ropes.

- Just fit in with the system. - Yeah.

To my way of thinking, there's two kinds of coppers, yeah?

There's the one who just fits in,

knows when it's their turn to shout,

takes a drink with everyone else, that kind of thing.

Then there's the other kind, yeah, there's the sort that

just thinks they're a little bit better than everyone else,

knocks back a drink when it's offered.

Now, obviously I've been watching you for a while.

Do you know what kind of copper I think you are?

Sarge, is there a $1,000 elephant in this room?

Your probation period's up next month.

Decided not to renew it.

- Consider this your notice. - What?

The thing is… that you're clever,

there's no doubt about it, really clever.

But you're not smart, yeah?

Personnel have been notified. They'll be in touch.

- You're wrong. - Excuse me?

I'll fit in. It's my job to fit in.

God, if you're such a reasonable bloke,

you'll give me another chance.

This is all I've ever wanted to do.

Then maybe it's time you broadened your horizons, huh?

- Please. - Don't beg, Constable.

- It really doesn't suit you. - Doesn't suit? For fuck's sake!

Door.

Jeez, have a dekko at these beauties, huh?

I'm not saying you're a shit fisherman, Lezzie,

but some blokes have got it and some do not,

and you obviously do not.

I mean, let's face it,

you couldn't catch a cold if you were naked in bloody Antarctica.

But I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, Lezzie…

Because you're a mate, I'm gonna split this catch with you 50-50.

How does that sound?

- You're kidding. - Nah, mate.

We were both out there the same amount of time.

- It's only fair. - Cheers, Gaz.

- Good on ya. Thanks. - It's my pleasure, mate.

You can have a half a dozen of these babies.

Go on. Yeah.

For the bargain price of just ten bucks.

Now, seeing as I've got your 20 already in me sky rocket,

I'd say we're all square.

Can't get much better than that, can ya?

Tell you what, Gaz…

You shove that red snapper right up your arse, huh?

- Mate… - Nah, nah.

I'm not forgetting you owe me ten bucks either, got that?

So next time we bump into each other, you'd better have it

right there in your top pocket, understood?

Sure, Lezzie. Oh, I mean, sure, Les.

No chicken curries. Ten bucks next time we see each other.

You sure you don't want that red snapper?

I'm positive. Be seeing you, Gaz.

Les had decided he didn't want any snapper

because he had a much better idea -

big and spiky and waiting out there in a basket just for him.

He'd decided to cook Lozza up a meal for the ages.

And everyone knows lobsters trump red snapper any day.

♪ Standing at the limit Of an endless ocean ♪

♪ Stranded like a runaway Lost at sea ♪

♪ City on a rainy day Down in the harbor ♪

♪ Watching as the grey clouds Shadow the bay ♪

♪ Great southern land ♪

♪ Great southern land ♪

♪ You walk alone ♪

♪ Like a primitive man ♪

♪ And they make it work ♪

♪ With sticks and bones ♪

♪ See their hungry eyes ♪

♪ It's a hungry home ♪

♪ I hear the sound ♪

♪ Of the stranger's voices ♪

♪ I see their hungry eyes ♪

♪ Their hungry eyes ♪

♪ Great southern land… ♪

Les had seen jet skis on the dam back home.

Wasn't real keen on them -

leaf blowers of the ocean, he reckoned.

The wanker at the helm didn't help that much either.

Oi, dickhead!

♪ …Great southern land ♪

♪ Great southern land ♪

Oi.

There you go, fellas.

You're invited to dinner tonight. How does that sound?

Easy.

Now, Les didn't know much about white powder,

apart from the fact that back home in Dirranbandi

you cooked scones with it.

Giddy-up.

But he'd been in the city long enough

to know that any white powder, especially something wrapped

with all the loving care of this stuff,

had to be worth a bit of a quid.

But how much exactly?

Alright, fellas, you stay here. I'll see you later, alright?

Mr. Norton?

What do you think?

Thank you, Bowen Lager. Thank you, Les Norton.

See, I mean, you can't blame me for being unimpressed

with that shitbox that you've created at home

because I go from this to living with some kind of feral animal.

Well, I've got plans, alright… Ho… Hold up, feral animal?

- That's a bit harsh, isn't it? - Mm-mm.

I got this.

Now, I know bugger all unless it's liquid, so

what do you reckon that is?

Oh… Whoo!

Burns! Shit! Oh, god!

Leslie…

You're taking this Hollywood Norton thing a little bit far.

That is Bolivian marching powder.

- Oh. - That's cocaine.

- That's cocaine? - Mmm.

- Good. - And it's pure.

- Pure, huh? - Mmm.

So I have two questions for you.

A. Where did you get it?

And B. Can you get me some?

A. Maybe I'll tell you later. And B. Shit, no.

- What about your health kick? - Whatever, tight-arse!

You know, you'll be able to afford as much as you want

once Bowen Lager gets splashed all over South-East Asia.

They reckon you're gonna be their biggest hit.

Leave it. Mm-mm.

Hello!

Mmm. Nice!

- Another one? - Nah, thanks, Price.

I never drink on the job.

But, uh, you know, 15-year-old single malt,

of course, a bloke could make an exception.

Yeah. There you go, just a sneaky one.

Oh, thank you.

Mmm.

Cheers.

So, I hear you've got a fancy new roulette wheel

coming in from the States, mate.

Where'd you hear that from?

It's my job to hear these kinds of things, Mr. Galese, sir.

Of course there'll be a slight extra charge

for closure of the street, traffic coordination, that ki…

- What traffic? - I'm sure I can arrange some.

Oh, no, no, don't, don't demean yourself.

That'd be way below your pay grade.

Hey, listen, why don't you send that young copper over?

She was in here just the other night, apparently.

Les reckons she's good value.

You know, throw her a bone, see if she can fetch.

- She's a friend of ours, isn't she? - Well, no, not really, no.

In fact, I'm thinking about terminating her.

- Is that really necessary? - Yeah, afraid so.

I'm gonna have to send her to Dubbo or somewhere.

Just didn't work out, didn't fit in, you know.

Oh, well, Raymond, you've gotta do

what you've gotta do, I suppose.

- Hello, Ray. - Hey, Les.

Thanks, Price. I'll see you around.

Good day, boss. Is Eddie around?

- Oh, Eddie? - Yep.

- What for? - Oh, just, um, nothing.

What, you're here to see Eddie about nothing?

Oh, no, no. I just, um, I come across two choice lobsters.

Yeah, yeah, I heard Eddie's got a great recipe for mornay.

- Eddie has? - Yep.

- He'd burn water, wouldn't he? - Look, it's just what I heard.

Oh, fair enough. Lobster mornay, eh? That's nice.

Hey, who are you trying to impress, eh?

Hey? Hey, is it that pretty young copper, is it?

Hey, I'll let you into a secret.

If it is a secret, I'd get a wriggle on,

because I don't think she's gonna be here that much longer.

- What do mean? - Yeah,

I just heard from Thumper he's gonna give her the arse.

- Reckons he can't trust her. - Can't t… He can fucking talk!

And it was right about then that Les was wishing

he had a bit more filter between his little old brain

and his big old mouth.

- Something you want to say, son? - No, no. Just… No, nothing.

You came here to get a fucking cooking recipe from Eddie?

Come on, son, treat me with

a little bit more respect than that, please.

Come on, let's hear it.

As far as Les could see, he had two options…

To fold or double down.

And Les could barely fold a T-shirt.

There's, uh… there's something I've been meaning to tell you.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, you know that little park down near the beach at Maroubra?

Uh-huh.

There I am, just minding my own business,

who do I see with his stupid little dog?

And?

And who's he talking to, none other than Dolores Bognor.

You sure it was her?

Definitely wasn't her dead sister, I know that much.

They were having a good little chinwag, them two.

What were you doing there again?

I told you just, minding…

- Minding your own business. - I was going for a run.

Boss, you know I don't like to stick my nose in nothing. I just…

I just figured you'd wanna know, that's all.

Yeah. Mmm.

Oh, well. No, fair enough.

Hey, and let us know how that mornay goes.

- Hey? - Sure thing, boss. You got it.

Sergeant Ray Burrell. Price?

Ah… yep.

Yeah, yeah, I can do that.

Sure.

Okay, see you then.

Christ, Price, alright,

we just spoke on the phone 20 minutes ago.

What are we sitting here for, mate? I'm kinda flat-chat.

I appreciate you're a busy man, Ray.

They're lovely parks, these, aren't they?

Very important for the local community.

I s'pose.

Look, you've got your kids playing,

you've got your mummies pushing their prams.

A bloke walking his stupid dog.

You've got a dog, haven't you, Ray? What's it called?

- Maxie. - Maxie!

Maxie. Jeez, that's a top name for a copper's dog, isn't it?

Maxie. You ever bring Maxie here to do a poo, do you?

- From time to time. - Time to time. Right.

Hey, and when you do, what, you ever bump into anybody?

I don't know, for instance, Dolores Bognor?

You understand why I'd be interested, don't you, Ray,

given our… you know, our particular relationship.

What did you two discuss, if you don't mind me asking?

I assume it wasn't the result of the second cricket test.

Wanna know what I was doing? I was protecting you.

- Doing what you pay me to do. - Yeah? How's that exactly?

It's like I said… I arranged to meet her here,

told her I knew she was an informant for the AFP,

I knew they'd booted her out for feeding too much bullshit.

I just put it on her, mate, put it right on her.

I said to her, "You steer clear of Price Galese

"or I'm gonna tell the entire crime community of Sydney

"that you're a snitch, see how that goes for you."

Mmm.

You know, I almost believe you, Ray.

Believe what you bloody well like, mate.

Oh, yeah, next time if you want to ask me something,

just fucking ask.

I can do without all these bullshit theatricals.

- Where is everyone? - Huh?

I need a couple of cars for a raid

on a premises in Surry Hills now.

Dispatch, can we please get two cars?

- And then come with me. - We're heading to Surry Hills.

Meet us down in the car park, we're heading there now.

- Where are we going? - Told ya. You're going to Dubbo.

But because I'm a top bloke, I'm gonna give you a taste

of what it means to be a Kings Cross copper.

Right, search the joint and find me a videotape.

It'll be marked 'Humper' or something like that.

Okay, boss.

Alright, it's okay. Stay where you are.

This won't take long, guys. Look down there. It's alright.

Not for nothing!

Leave them. Why don't you just bugger off?

I was wondering when you'd come around, big boy.

Yeah, you wish. Stop!

Ah!

Oh, heh, toys too. This is getting hotter by the minute.

Shut your mouth, woman.

With cops swarming all over the brothel, the madam realized

attack was probably the best form of defense.

Can't do that with my mouth shut.

Alright, stand down, boys!

- All good, boss? - Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ah, show's over. I think we've made our point.

You, uh, coming with us?

No, no, I'm going to question the proprietor.

Okay. Do you want me to hang around?

No. Wait for me in the car.

Door!

Jesus! I'm real popular today, eh?

What do you mean?

How'd she find where I work out?

- Reckon I oughta tell Price? - Hell no!

Got enough on his mind as it is!

Oh. I definitely shouldn't, you know…

- You're kidding, aren't ya? - Of course I am! More or less.

Listen, can you help me out?

I know this… this bloke, right,

and he's come into a bit of…you know.

- Sinus? - Cocaine, you idiot!

This bloke, he doesn't know what to do with it.

- Does he normally do cocaine? - Not really.

- Then tell him to sell it. - That's what he figured!

But how's he gonna go do that?

How much cocaine does he have to sell?

- Two kilo. - Two kilos?

- Two kilos, Les? - What?

That's a commercial quantity of a Level One illicit substance!

Your mate - who is obviously you, you boofhead

is facing 20 years up the river!

- Shit! - Yeah, not good.

Why don't I just get rid of it?

- I'll go dump it somewhere. - Don't do that!

See, that amount of blow is always owned by someone.

When someone owns that amount of blow,

they're always a nasty fucker.

- Say they find you… - How's he gonna find…

Let's just say they find you

and you're flushing their shit down the dunny.

You're gonna be one dead redhead, brother.

Just find out who it is, put it on their front doorstep

and leg it out of there like the devil's chasing after you,

because at that moment, he sure will be.

Come on, Les.

By now, Les's day had turned into crap 'round the edges.

He'd started out just trying to do the right thing by Lozza,

and now here he was trying to get rid of

two kilos of booger sugar.

Yep, right up a gumtree without a paddle.

What he needed was a plan, and fast.

Well?

'Kings X Humper'.

S'pose you're wondering why I wanted this.

No, not really, Sarge.

You don't wanna know what's on it?

I, um… I don't ask questions about what doesn't concern me.

- Good. - Learnt that from you, boss.

- You bloody perve! - What?

Are you a flasher? You better be not a flasher!

- Uh, ladies… - Binoculars and everything.

- You got rope in your car? - And gaffer tape?

- Yeah, gaffer tape! - And high heels!

- What? - Yeah, they dress up!

- God, yes! - Can't keep it in their pants!

- We oughta call the cops! - No, just…

- Ladies, just stop, alright? - You're all the same.

Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer.

If I was gonna have a bloody perv, I wouldn't need these.

I heard that, Schweinehund.

What?

Fuck!

- Bondi Beach Hire. - Yeah, uh, good day, mate.

I think I might have something of yours.

What are you talking about?

Look, I think I've got what you've been looking for.

- Who's this? - Doesn't matter who I am.

Does it, mate? What matters is I've got your lobsters.

Jesus!

You call me back in 15 minutes.

Hooroo.

Oh, actually, mate, I'm expecting a call.

- You can't call in on these. - Well, you can on this one.

- Yeah, bullshit! - Ah!

How about we call an ambulance and we find out?

- What do you want? - Uh, yeah, good day, mate.

Look, there's been a tiny bit of a mix-up.

I'm the first to admit when I'm wrong,

but I think I've got your merchandise.

I wanna get it back to you saf…

Ten grand, no questions asked.

Ten grand.

Up to this moment, our boy was concentrating on

just getting this stuff back to its rightful owners,

and maybe saving his neck in the bargain.

Les had been in the drug game for all of 12 minutes,

but he already knew a decent offer when he heard one.

Okay. 20.

- Take it or leave it. - Twenty thousand bucks?

Fuck you. 25.

- Twenty-five grand? - I'm not going one cent higher.

- Okay. No problem. - Good.

I'll give you an address in Double Bay.

- You bring the stuff in one… - Whoa, whoa. Hold on a tick.

I might sound like I'm from the back of buggery…

Well, I am, but I'm not an idiot.

I wanna meet you somewhere where there's lots of people

and it's nice and safe.

Name it.

I'll come to you.

Fuck!

So, I had a bit of a rethink and thought

maybe I'm being a bit hasty with the young constable.

So I said to myself, "You know, Ray, I reckon we could make

"a Kings Cross copper out of her yet, hey?"

- Nah, you done good back there. - Back where, exactly?

That's more like it.

Look, from now on I want you to view me as a mentor.

And my door's always open.

- Your door's always shut. - Yeah, okay.

You haven't earned the right to be fucking funny.

- Sorry, boss. - Welcome to the team.

Door!

- Afternoon, gents. - Fuck you.

What?

Twenty-five grand. That my stuff?

- Check it. - Oh, hold on a second.

I know I'm new to this but I'm pretty sure

I've gotta see the cash first.

Okay.

Yeah, I got it tested. See, I've got this mate, right…

- Shut up. - Okay.

Well, I'd love to say it's been a pleasure but…

Actually, you know what? It has been a pleasure.

- Now where are my lobsters? - Huh?

You heard the man.

No-one's talking to you, bonehead.

I didn't know they were part of the deal.

Shit! Well, I can go get 'em if you…

- For fuck's sake. - What?

- Keep the fucking lobsters. - Happily.

I'm gonna enjoy this one.

Hmm.

- You're on with Eddie. - Yeah, Eddie, it's Les.

Um…

- I've got a bit of a problem. - What kind of problem?

Oh, I can't really talk about it on the phone.

Okay. What the fuck did you ring me for then?

Need someone that…

No, look, the thing is I've got…

I've got "eadday uysgay" here

You been on the piss, Les?

There's 'udblay' everywhere. Can… Can you just get here?

Gonna have to change my mind about you, mate.

It… it wasn't me.

I haven't seen anything like this since the night

Bunny Bonaci tried to take out the Penrith Warlocks.

Lozza's not gonna be impressed.

She already got up me about cleaning up the place.

Here's what we do.

This… calls for the Dingo.

- What's a dingo? - Hah.

The Dingo.

You're in good hands here, Les.

He's the best cleaner in the business.

I suppose it's a very big business.

Oh, you'd be surprised. It's the '80s, mate. He's a busy man.

The thing is, though, being the best in the business,

he charges top dollar,

and he likes to get paid pretty quick smart.

What do you mean?

Well, there's no 30-day net invoice with this bloke.

He does the job, you give him the money or…

Well, he's in the business, if you know what I mean.

What's the damage all up?

All up, I'd say 40, 50 grand should get you out of trouble.

I can come up with… 25 grand cash,

and I know a bloke that owes me ten bucks.

I don't suppose I could maybe just work…

Les, mate, not even close.

Don't suppose he likes cars?

Yeah, nice cars, these.

Shred the plates. File off the block serial number.

Maybe special it with a couple of others yet to be collected.

Yeah, good one. I reckon the Dingo will go for it.

- Thank Christ for that. - Nice work, mate.

Now, you wanna piss off for an hour or so,

maybe go to the gym or the pub or something?

The Dingo doesn't like his clients hanging around.

Alright.

So… so we're out there, it's flat as a witch's tit

and he's getting seasick!

I tell you what, he'd get seasick in a bloody bath.

Anyway, so I'm reeling in these prime red snapper,

I'm reeling them in, meanwhile he's sitting there

getting sunburnt, with his dick in his hand like a malaka.

His line's over the side, he's getting bugger all.

He's got no idea!

Lezzie! Mate. How you doing?

Tell you the truth, Gaz, I've had a bit of a rough day.

That's no good - we've gotta go fishing…

- You owe me ten bucks. - Oh, true, mate, true.

The thing is I don't have it on…

- Didn't you hear me? - Mate, I'd love to help you out.

- You know that. - Okay, Gaz, here's the thing.

We agreed last time we bumped into each other

you'd have my ten bucks sitting right there in your top pocket.

So right now, I'm about three seconds away

from bumping into you real hard.

Malaka.

Jeez, what do you know, a blue swimmer right he…

I'll see you later, Lezzie.

You keep in touch, eh?

We're mates.

So after a day of high-seas piracy,

unconventional drug dealing

and a not insignificant massacre,

Les had finally done what he'd set out to do.

Les.

- What have you done? - What do you reckon?

I… I don't know what to say. Did you get a cleaner in?

Oh, something like that.

Unreal! Th… It's… Tha… This is just so special.

- Ah, take a seat. - Who'd have thought, eh?

- Lobster thermidor? - Yeah.

Got the recipe from Eddie,

and he got it from his mate Dingo who can cook, apparently.

Well, Leslie, you never cease to surprise.

But after all that blow, I couldn't eat a fucking thing.

Mm-hm.

Isn't that copper just doing his job?

They can stick the money where the monkey stuck the pen.

- Then what? Go to prison? - If it comes to that.

For 35 bucks? You're as tight as a frog's bum but not that tight.

Good to see you, Derryn.

Oh, if it isn't the Prince of Punt himself.

Seriously, I am seconds from calling bullshit here, Leslie.

Where's your sense of adventure?

Pour it all out.

It feels as though the timing of your arrival is propitious.

Bloody propitious, eh?

Let's talk about Dolores Bognor, shall we?