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[eerie wind]

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[door creaks]

[eerie music]

[jazzy blues music]

[dripping]

Fucking actors!

[jazzy blues music]

[clattering]

[creaking]

[thud]

[eerie music]

Fucking wankers!

[low snarl]

Who's there?

[jazzy blues music]

[sloshing]

[gothic string music]

[low gurgling]

[whooshing]

[flashlight clicking]

Who's up there?

[eerie musical sting]

[eerie music]

You?

[scrunching]

[loud scream]

[thudding]

[dramatic music]

[moody blues music]

♪ The secrets of the moon. ♪

♪ Are half as dark as his black heart. ♪

♪ The chill that fills the night. ♪

♪ Is welcome warmth from his cold eyes. ♪

♪ But I, I long for his gaze. ♪

♪ I spin dizzy ♪

♪ In this craze. ♪

♪ I just can't pull away. ♪

♪ The secrets in his eyes. ♪

♪ Do more to you ♪

♪ Than you could realize. ♪

I swear to you, dude.

I'm not in India.

I'm calling from Brisbane, Australia.

[man on phone] Oh yeah? So what can you see out your window?

[phones dialing and office chatter]

I can see a magpie sitting in a gum tree.

[man on phone] Ahhh…

So what do Aussies call those birds then?

What?

[man on phone] What specific word do Australians use…

to describe that particular bird's personality?

Starts with C. Ends with unt.

I'm sorry, I can't say that word on here, sir.

My manager might be listening to the call.

[man on phone] Nah, you're not convincing me, dude.

You're in India.

Tom.

You're going off script again.

Come back to the text, please.

Sorry.

[man on phone] You nearly had me, mate.

Nice act.

Very convincing.

Do better next time, please, Tom.

[phone dialing tone]

[mobile ring tone]

[beeping]

Minnie?

[Minnie] Tom, what are you doing tonight?

[Tom] Can't really talk right now, I’m at work.

[Minnie] No, I mean, what are you doing after.

[Tom] After?

Nothing, going to bed.

[Minnie] Wait. Have you met Irving yet?

[Tom] Irving? [insidious creature chuckling]

[Minnie] Oh, of course you haven't. You haven't been to theatre group for weeks.

[Tom] Yeah, you know, I've been taking extra shifts.

[Minnie] Anyway, he's having a party tonight at his house

and I was thinking maybe... [thudding]

Tom, we don't make personal calls during work hours.

You know that.

Sorry. My girlfriend was just asking about… dinner.

Dinner?

Well, you should have dined already.

Because when we're at work, we...

Work…

We work, that's right.

I mean, we'd all like to sit on our arses,

and have people throw money at us, right?

But…

You.

[phone dialing tone]

It's not going to happen.

Yes. Mr. Orlok.

[phone dialing tone]

Get back to work, please… and stay on your script.

[phone dialing tone]

[insidious creature laughing]

[beep]

[beep]

[goth party music playing]

Who is this guy?

Flash house.

There’s a lot of people here, don’t you think?

I can’t see a single person we know.

Minnie!

Come check out the new digs.

Hey! So nice to see you again.

And this must be the boyfriend, Tom.

Irving, nice to meet you.

Your house is amazing.

Yes, Zen found this.

It's so much better than the last crypt we were in.

Minnie! Tom!

Hey, how are you?

I hear you two tread the boards, Tom.

What?

He's asking if you're an actor.

Oh, no, I'm more behind the scenes, so to speak.

Oh, well, Tom's in the local theatre group as well.

He just hasn't been in a while.

So you've been away, then?

No, I've just had a bit of work on.

God! I can't imagine putting work first.

Acting it's just something I need to do, you know?

Well. Yeah, I mean, but.

I've been doing it for so many years, I can't imagine doing anything else.

So… many years…

Well, I mean, like, Tom's been on stage a few times.

Yeah...

It's just in my blood, you know?

Yeah, I mean, I've done a few bit parts when they need me, but…

An actor acts.

Sure, but, I mean, you've still got to put bread in your mouth.

Bread?

On the table, on the table.

[giggling]

Tom's done a lot more than he's letting on.

Come with me, you have to see the spa.

Ok.

What pulls you away from the theatre?

I work at a call center.

Zeus! Really? Is this what you want to be doing with your life?

Well, I mean, I've, you know, I've knocked a few sets together for the theatre group.

A stage designer?

Good with their hands. Practical chap.

Like my boy, Zen.

Zen! Fetch us both a drink, if you don't mind?

So if you could design any play at all, what would it be?

I can design any play?

Yes. Any play you want.

Any play at all?

Any play your heart desires.

[low tense music]

Well…

Yes?

I guess…

Yes?

Dracula?

[snaps fingers] Yes!

Um, yeah.

I mean, you know, I like all that kind of Victorian Gothic stuff.

Yes, I get what you mean, so what's stopping you?

Hmmm?

Dracula. It's in the public domain.

Oh, you don't mean to just…

If that's what you want to do with your life, just do it.

Mortal life is so short, you know.

[glass clinking]

Oh, I'm not really into wine.

[liquid pouring]

You’ll like this one, bud.

Trust me.

Zen, this is Tom. We're making a play together.

You two should talk.

[tense music]

A play.

What is it this time?

Oh, um, Dracula?

Dracula, huh?

Maybe… Oh, I think there's a fly in your...

He's dinner now.

[gulping]

Aaah!

Oh…

Come with me, Mr. Fly.

What?

Come upstairs and… meet the sirens.

[eerie music]

Well, Irving’s going to play Dracula.

I can guarantee you that.

That's fine with me.

I'll be doing more designing than acting.

This is Tom, Irving's new stage manager.

The set designer.

You're good with your hands.

So I should go and find Minnie.

That girl you came in with?

Zen will find her.

Zen?

Oh, maybe I should just go and look for her myself.

Oh, it's a big house.

You’ll get lost.

Try this.

Zen won’t be long.

What is it?

I think you'll like it.

[Tom coughing]

Oh, what's in that?

Oh, something there are no words for.

[splashing]

[collective laughter]

Huh.

[splashing]

It's a party Tom, isn't it?

Have some fun with us.

Whoa!

Wait, so where are you guys from?

[laughter]

We live here.

With Irving?

Yes, Irving can open doors for you.

But he can close them too.

Something wicked is coming this way.

[maniacal laughter]

[metal music playing]

Raargh!

[erratic music]

[erratic music]

[birds chirping]

Come on, we need to leave.

What?

Oh fuck! What were you doing?

Nothing.

Must have passed out.

I just hope they can get that out.

Huh?

Come on, let's just go before they find out it was you.

Oh shit.

What?

[thudding]

Hey, did you call in sick?

Yeah, I did.

They weren't too happy about it.

What are you going to do now?

[mobile ring tone]

[beep]

Hey.

Ah. Yeah.

Hey, Tom, it's Irving.

He wants to talk to you.

Hello?

[Irving] Tom, stop what you're doing, I’ve found a script!

[tense music]

[Tom] A script?

[Irving] Yes, Dracula.

We're doing it. Table read at my place tomorrow.

Come over.

[tense music]

Welcome to my house, enter freely and at your own will.

Count Dracula?

I am Dracula, and I bid you welcome.

[gothic organ music]

You will excuse me, as I won't be joining you.

I've already dined and I do not drink… wine.

[ominous music]

Do you believe in destiny?

And that the luckiest man to walk this earth is one who finds true love.

You found Mina.

We’re to be married, as soon as I return.

Are you married, count?

Sir… Are you married?

[somber music]

I was married once.

Years ago it seems.

She died.

Oh.

I'm very sorry.

An ancestor?

I can see the resemblance.

The order of the Dragon.

An ancient society pledging my forefathers to defend the enemy of Christ.

The relationship was not entirely successful.

Oh. Yes.

'Tis no laughing matter!

[crunching]

Wait.

Who made the food?

[beep]

What?

Did Dracula make Harker dinner?

Does he cook?

Yeah, right.

I wonder if he likes cooking.

No. He has servants to do that for him, he’s a count.

Actually, Dracula doesn't have servants.

Doesn't he have gypsies working for him?

Yeah, but, I mean they're not domestic help.

Like it says here, Dracula does it all himself.

Uhh, he tells Harker his servants are currently unavailable,

whatever that means.

So he is doing everything?

Yeah. All right.

Now I'm seeing Dracula fussing over a big pot.

[girls laughing]

[imitating Dracula] I hope Harker likes paprika.

Mwah!

Yes, yes.

So he does drive the coach and carries Harker's bags.

[girls laughing]

And makes his bed.

Fucking hell, he's a busy vampire.

So domestic.

You have to do a lot of running.

Jump off the couch around the back of the castle,

serve dinner, then to the front door.

[heavy breathing]

"Harker."

"Come in."

[girls laughing]

[paper tumbles]

All right… are we done?

You are making fun of a classic.

Are there any snacks?

Snacks?

Yeah, can we take a break?

Yes, snacks… Zen!

Snacks just see what you can do.

[sighs]

Ah, so…

I was thinking,

what if we paint the set in black and white?

Black and white? Why would we want to do that?

Well, then. Like you said, it's a classic.

[vintage phone ringing]

Might make it feel like an old German expressionist film.

But we're not making a film.

We're doing a play.

Our costumes could be black and white as well.

Yeah, and our makeup.

[sharp inhaling]

Zen old boy.

How do you feel about doing the play in black and white?

Black and white?

Yeah, that sounds really pretentious.

It's Tom's idea.

[playful music]

There's a call for you.

Fuck. It's not him, is it?

Yeah, it sure is.

Well, fuck.

I'll call him back later.

Do you need to take a call?

No. It's fine.

I'm not letting anyone ruin our reading.

Especially that old basket case.

Are you okay?

What? Yes, just a bit under the weather.

Let's read on.

[clears throat]

[paper shuffling]

I've offended you with my ignorance, Count.

Let's do this in black and white, like an old German expressionist film.

So you like my idea now?

Well, it reminds me of an idea I had once,

to do a play on black and white with a bit of red.

A bit of red?

[snaps fingers] A bit of red.

That’s your idea, you can have that one.

Yeah, but to do the play in black and white.

That's my idea, right?

Oh come on, Tom, you didn't invent black and white.

[Minnie whispers] Tom.

Yeah, but to do the play in black and white.

That was my idea.

Let's not get fussy over an old idea I had once.

Your idea?

Thanks, Tom.

Tom. Hey. He's right. Okay.

You don't need to argue about whose idea it was.

Yeah, no but it's not his idea.

[tense music]

As long as we're on the same page, we can move on.

Well, this is interesting.

Wait, we are not on the same page right now.

Tom! Stop.

Okay… fine.

You better take it.

Oh fuck.

Zen read for me, please.

What?

So uh… what page are we on?

[electric drill] [background hammering]

[jazzy blues music]

Okay, everyone, first dress rehearsal.

Let's do it.

Hey, we're going to need some more paint.

Nice job on the set, Tom.

Thanks, yeah.

Uhm, we're just going to need some more funds.

Don't worry about the funds.

They will come.

Just believe in the play, and it will all work out.

They will come?

There you go.

Now let's get started, shall we?

So, it's Hellwig.

Oh fuck, what does he want now?

He's on his way over.

What? How the fuck does he keep finding us?

Maybe this time you should uh…

You know.

Hey, do you mind if I film the rehearsal?

Sure… Whatever.

I don't think I’ll really come across on camera anyway.

[camcorder beeps]

No, you look fine.

Really?

Are you drinking already?

Hey, my body just absorbs it.

Okay, everyone ready?

First positions.

Let's go.

[gothic string music]

And…

Action!

Count Dracula.

[tense music]

[door creaks]

I am Drac-

[director] Can you move forward?

What?

[director] You're just still in the dark, can you move into the light?

Here?

[director] Yeah. That's it.

I am Dracula, gentlemen.

Ah, good evening, count.

Miss Seward.

How are you?

You're looking more yourself this evening.

I feel much better already. Count.

Now that father's old friend has come to help me.

Count Dracula, Professor Van Helsing.

A most distinguished-

Are you fucking kidding me?!

I have arrived.

[director] That's not your line.

This… This is Van Helsing!?

[director] Uhm… Yeah.

Van Helsing is an old man.

He's a fucking embryo.

I'm twenty.

[director] He's an actor.

The audience is just going to laugh.

[director] Okay, um can we talk about this later… please?

Fine… From the top.

[director] Okay, first positions… Everyone please.

[door slams]

[playful music]

[director] And…

[director] Action!

Count Dracula.

[suspenseful music]

[Irving] There's no door handle on this side.

[director] Door.

Oh, shit.

[rattling]

It's stuck.

[rattling]

[stomping]

[clatter]

Oh, for fuck's sake!

[whooshing]

[enigmatic music]

Sorry.

I've alarmed you all.

Ah, Professor Hellwig.

You tracked me down again.

What a surprise.

Yeah, it did take me some time.

One could almost have felt that you were avoiding me.

Not at all.

Knowing your enthusiasm for the chase.

My time in a Tibetan monastery,

taught me many things, including patience.

To catch flies…

like the spider.

I'm sorry, professor, but I'm in the middle of something. Yes.

Yes… A stage production.

Surely you have a role for your old tutor.

Well…

I mean, you wouldn't deny one the opportunity that we’re all engaged in.

The occasion to really step inside someone else's…

Skin.

I could see what I could do.

I also couldn't help but notice,

that your crew seemed to be out at sea without a map.

Let me provide one from my experiences.

How could I resist?

Splendid, splendid.

If you don't mind.

[enigmatic music]

A copy of the manuscript, if you please.

Ah!

The Deane-Balderston adaptation.

Yes?

And you are prepared to pay their fee for the presentation?

There’s no copyright on Dracula!

Yes, but there is a copyright on any adaptations.

And I do believe their copyright is still valid.

How much?

A considerable fee…

Oh, for fuck's sake!

[paper fluttering]

Um… okay, everyone.

That's break time.

[tense music]

We still have funds coming, right?

Maybe we can just find an adaptation online.

What? Don't worry about it.

I’ll write it myself.

When?

Tonight, I’m a light sleeper.

[Minnie recording] No, you look fine.

Really? You can see me?

Don’t I look good?

Oh. Irving.

I'm just going over some of the behind the scenes footage.

Wow. I didn't think I'd come out on camera at all.

I think the camera loves you.

Yes.

It does indeed.

[zipping]

[crickets]

So, the lead cracked it.

Seriously?

Yeah. It's been happening a lot.

Well…

You know, maybe it's a sign.

A sign?

Like, maybe it's time to get a new hobby?

This is not a hobby.

I know that, but like,

[loud thud]

it's not really work.

What was that?

I'll go check it out.

No.

Henry.

It's fine, it's probably just a wallaby or something.

[tense music]

[hushed tone] Henry!

[leaves crunching]

[uneasy music]

Henry!

Henry?

[crunching]

[horrified screaming]

[whooshing]

[horrified screaming]

[terrified weeping]

[whooshing]

[crunching]

[splatting]

[yawns] We’re out of shampoo.

I had a wild dream about Irving last night.

What?

Yeah, I'll tell you later… I'm a rush, sorry.

[keys jingle]

Well, what sort of dream?

I’ve got to go. I'll see you later.

Oh! Hey…

[jingling keys]

Do some shopping today.

But what happened in the dream...

[mobile ring tone]

[beep]

Hello?

[Irving] Tom, stop what you're doing. I have a script.

Already?

[Irving] Yes, but my adaptation is better than anything,

that's ever been before!

What's the biggest grossing film of all time?

Uhh…

Oh, Avatar.

[Irving] No, it's Star Wars.

I'm pretty sure it's Avatar.

[Irving] Either way, sci-fi is the new thing.

Star Wars was like 50 years ago.

[Irving] That's not so long in the scheme of things.

Anyway, we're doing sci-fi Dracula 3000 A.D.

I'm pretty sure there's already a movie called that.

[Irving] Dracula Revamped?

Nah. Too cheesy.

[Irving] Okay, Dracula The Motion Picture.

It will be amazing.

You can make the spaceships.

Make them? Shouldn't we just use CGI?

[Irving] Can you do that?

No.

[Irving] Star Wars didn't do that.

Well…

[Irving] So I can't do it, you can't do it.

We're going old school, buddy.

All the way to the bank.

[epic orchestral music]

[enigmatic music]

[thunder claps]

[thunder claps]

[epic music]

[thunder claps]

[door swishes open]

I am Dracula.

It is good to see you.

I wasn’t sure if I was in the right place.

And I bid you…

Welcome.

[distant wolves howling]

Listen to them.

The children of the night.

What music they make.

[wolves howling]

[thin squealing]

The spider spinning his web for the unwary fly.

The blood is life, Mr. Renfield.

[doors swish close]

I wasn't sure but you might be hungry.

Oh, thank you.

That's very kind.

Did you keep your comings a secret?

I followed your instructions impeccably.

Excellent, Mr. Renfield. Excellent.

Now, if you're not too fatigued, might we discuss the lease?

Oh yes, of course.

It is awaiting your signature.

I have chartered a ship to take us to your…

Earth.

Tomorrow evening.

Tomorrow?

I was leaving...

Oww.

[enigmatic music]

[hissing]

[church choir]

[pained hissing]

It is okay.

Just a scratch.

[cork popping]

[liquid pouring]

This wine is very old.

I hope you like it.

Aren't you drinking?

I never drink… wine.

This is delicious.

Now I shall leave you.

Good night.

Good night, Mr. Renfield.

[enigmatic music]

[bat squeaking]

Does that guy ever shut up?

He's so in love with himself.

Yep.

I guess he does seem to know what he wants.

I guess.

Imagine going out with a guy like that?

Yeah, imagine.

Oh, I mean, I'd never go there.

Young men and their opinions.

Fuck. You scared me.

How long have you been there?

Long enough to witness this battle of hubris.

Yeah, what are they fighting about now?

Ahh very little, as usual.

Irving just needs to be the winner… to come out on top.

Irving acts like he's famous already.

They both want that so bad.

I’m sure Tom would sell his soul for success. [scoffing]

Oh, really?

You know that the devil always wins in the end.

What?

I’m sure you twin thespians…

are familiar with the famous ballad, the character with the fiddle and such.

The devil went down to Georgia.

Yes. It's a modern interpretation of a much older tale.

Yeah, that's an awesome song.

But he doesn't sell his soul in that.

Does he?

Not quite, but he loses it.

Doesn't the guy win in the end?

He wins a golden fiddle

and something the devil gifts him.

The first of the seven deadly sins.

The sin of pride.

By beating the devil, he thinks he's the best fiddle player in the world.

Ahh the sin from which all seven sins doth arise.

Oh my goodness. Arthur is leaving.

[chuckling]

He's taking all his stuff.

Take my bat!

Take my ball! And fuck off!

You, you want to direct?

Now's your chance.

[crunching]

Who me?

Yeah you, just don’t fuck it up!

I have to ask my mum first.

Your mum?

Wow, so anyone can be a director, apparently.

You're up.

Yes… the devil always wins in the end.

[waves on beach]

[eerie sci-fi music]

[loud buzzing]

It's the Vesta alright.

But she looks badly damaged.

Any sign of survivors?

No.

But I don't see any bodies either.

That could mean...

Argh!

[struggling]

[laser zapping]

[dramatic music]

[laser zapping]

[enigmatic music]

[radio filtered voice] Regressives.

It's getting dark.

There’ll be more of them soon.

[laser zapping]

Nice shot.

I was aiming for his head.

Well come on.

[electronic humming]

[door whooshing]

[door whooshing]

[rattling]

Here, take these.

What are they?

It's a drug to protect you from the radiation.

If you don't take them, you’ll die within a week.

We don’t plan to stay that long.

Suit yourself.

We're looking for a professor.

I know who you're looking for.

You’ve found him.

Your professor Swales.

I find that hard to believe.

Believe what you like.

It makes no difference to me.

If you're professor Swales then leave this planet and come with us.

What? Leave Ognor. Leave my work.

Your work?

Yes. My work

here in the ruins of what was once a great civilization.

Now but an empty graveyard on a dead world.

Dead? We saw a forest.

Petrified I’m afraid.

The only life on this planet…

Are the mutants and the regressives.

And they're dying out.

But why stay here?

On a dead world?

How long do you expect to survive?

I'm not afraid of death.

Death is what I need.

To do my research.

Your work.

It's in necrotic revitalization.

That's right.

You need the dead for your test subjects.

From what is left behind from the white lady.

The white lady?

But that’s only a myth.

A children's fairy story.

Fairy story, you say?

You’ve seen her?

Yeah.

Here… sit.

I’ll tell you the story of the white lady.

And the final days of the Demetrius and her crew.

[enigmatic music]

I was science officer aboard the Vesta…

When we came across another vessel.

Hail her Mr. Rogers.

She's not responding, sir.

[dramatic orchestral music]

Mr. Swales.

[beeping and whirring]

There's no signs of life.

She's adrift, Captain.

Can you identify her, Mr. Swales?

It's the Demetrius, Captain.

Captain. The Demetrius was lost in deep space over 150 years ago.

[whooshing]

[Swales] I was part of the away team that went aboard.

No atmosphere.

Number one. Get her systems back online.

Aye aye, Captain.

[Swales] The Demetrius slowly came back to life.

Within a few hours we’d searched most of the ship.

[ominous dull thud]

No sign of the crew, sir.

Sir! Sir!

You've got to see this.

What the hell is that?

[ominous dull thud]

There's something inside.

[ominous thudding]

What is that goddamn knocking?

It's coming from the hull, sir.

From outside the ship?

No sir.

[dramatic music builds]

From between the bulkheads, sir.

[Swales] The knocking continued until we removed a bulkhead plate.

We peered into the darkness.

What came out haunts me to this day.

Good God! What are they?

Judging by their uniforms.

It's the crew of the Demetrius, sir.

[Swales] The headless crew stood before us, lined up like soldiers on parade.

[dramatic music swells]

But there were more horrors to follow.

Sir! Sir!

[Swales] Discarded like rotten cabbages.

Their heads were piled up inside the bulkhead.

Still living… Their eyes watched us.

How can they still be alive, sir?

Where's that log?

Here, sir.

Ensign, stay with the crew.

Alert me if they move.

Number one, return to the hold and get that container open.

I'll be on the bridge, Swales, come with me.

[computer beeping]

[Swales] The captain and I poured over the previous ship's log.

Her last entry was over 50 years ago.

She'd been drifting in space all that time.

[beeping]

Security alert, don't open the container.

I repeat, don't open the container.

[Swales] It was death herself.

They had taken her a prisoner, believing they had escaped her sting.

But without death, life lost its meaning.

They traveled through space, but for what purpose?

Anything they could do now, they could do later.

They had eternity.

Apathy set in and finally they tried to die.

[tense music]

But to no avail.

Captain Wash.

We have to let her out, sir.

No, it's too dangerous.

We don't know what could happen.

We have to, captain.

Don't you see?

Or we'll end up like these poor souls.

Very well, Mr. Swales.

It's on your head.

[clanking and hissing]

[liquid pouring]

[Swales] But death had been in prison for a long time,

and she was hungry.

Aaaah!

Aaaah!

Aaaah!

When she came to me, however…

Wait! Why am I watching a cartoon?

Okay, so it's like a story within a story, right?

I'm pretty sure Irving's trying to put a new spin on an old tale,

while still keeping within the themes of the original.

Is that how it's going to look?

No, this is just a pre-vis.

Really?

Oh, I kind of like how it is.

But how does it even make sense?

I mean, wouldn't the first crew just let her out,

if they wanted to die so bad?

Nah, it's um, it's metaphorical.

And did no one notice

that nothing was dying for 150 years?

[exhausted laughter]

Stop overthinking it, Lisa.

No, I don't get it either.

Really?

You sure are doing a lot of work for a guy you don't get.

[Tom scoffs]

I'm not working for Irving.

Okay?

Wasn't this meant to be about Dracula?

Now it's a space… thing.

Yeah! Wait, weren't you supposed to be designing sets for Dracula?

Well, what am I meant to do? I mean, Irving's completely taken over.

No. He hasn't.

He's just a very strong character.

If anything you should be putting your ideas forward more.

[scoffs]

So I should be more like Irving? Is that what you're saying?

No, I just mean you could be more assertive around him.

Well, maybe I'm not Minnie. Maybe I'm just not an assertive person.

Tom… chill.

Irving, Irving, Irving, you just talk about him all the fucking time.

You dream about him, and then you tell me about it.

Yeah, I told you because I had a nightmare.

Oh, you think I don't see the way that he looks at you?

Tom, what are you talking about?

[nervous chuckle]

Tom?

Calm the farm man.

Look, I'm sorry, this is just a lot of stress.

Yeah, I know you've been working really hard.

Yeah…

I'm sorry.

[Minnie scoffs]

You know, maybe you should step outside for a sec and get some fresh air.

Yep.

[chair loudly rolling]

Hey.

Do you see Irving looking at me?

[loud clunk]

[mobile ring tone]

[beep]

Hello?

[Hellwig] Tom.

Stop what you're doing and meet me at the Lyceum Tavern.

I have some important exposition for you.

Tom… Tom.

Have I lost you? Tom.

No, no. It's fine.

I've got some things I'd like to ask you too.

[rain and thunder]

Tom.

[ambient guitar playing]

I acquire your assistance.

You want my help?

I think it good that I first tell you,

of the kind of enemy of which we are yet to deal.

You mean Irving?

I'm glad you brought him up, because he's really getting on my nerves.

I mean, he's taken over the entire project.

He's just overstepping his mark, I don't know...

I had to find your trust before I told you something…

So queer.

What?

There are such beings as vampires.

Vampires?

To which Irving belongs.

Oh, you mean in, like, the figurative sense?

No, I do not.

I speak in a literal sense.

I have followed the fiend for years.

I now mean to close the snare.

Okay.

Trust my words, Tom.

I can see you are a man of noble heart.

You must help me.

Fuck! You really are crazy.

You must help me.

To kill…

Irving.

Okay… umm.

I've got to go.

Tom.

[glasses clinking]

Tom.

Barkeep.

A dishrag if I may.

[busy traffic sounds]

Nobody thinks of the children.

Nobody thinks of the children.

Hey, what happened to Irving? Wasn't he supposed to meet us?

He's on his way.

He was supposed to pay for all this, not me.

[Minnie scoffs]

Of course you're in a mood, a mood.

Mood?

I'm just pointing out that I seem to be paying for everything.

You know, I thought Irving had money.

What makes you think that?

[Tom scoffs]

Well, his house, for example.

The bloofer lady is taking them all away and no one cares!

Maybe he's renting.

I think it's a squat.

Yeah, why should he have to pay anyway?

You keep saying this is your idea.

Yeah, sure, but he keeps saying.

"The money will come, the money will come."

Well, when?

I think he just means he wants you to have a little faith in yourself.

Yeah.

He's been nothing but encouraging to you.

And all you seem to do lately is bag him out.

You!

You don't care about the kids down there.

You’ve just come from the pub!

Oh my God.

Can't you just…

Maybe Hellwig has a point.

Poor woman.

How do people get that way?

Howdy, folks.

Slept in. Sorry.

What have you got there?

Art department, we had your list.

Great.

But… we won't be needing this.

Stuart does 3D animation.

What?

Who? Stuart?

Yes, Stuart.

But don't worry.

There's no replacing you.

Uhh, yeah. About that.

You!

You’ve grown…

Young!

But that's not possible!

I have never seen her before, I swear.

Son of the devil!

Nosferatu!

Okay, she's clearly off her meds, let's get going.

[panicked breaths]

It’s not the quiet dead that you must fear.

[exasperated breaths]

No I can't take this.

Take it!

You must.

For the sake of your sister.

Okay… it's time for everyone to go.

[traffic passing by]

[gothic music playing]

[dramatic music sting]

Count Dracula?

I am Dracula, and welcome to my home.

I apologize for...

But I'm sure you found everything you need...

You needed?

Yes. Thank you sir.

[clock loudly ticking]

It's the least I can do for traveling such a long journey.

Please.

[clock loudly ticking]

Please allow me.

[loud footsteps]

[fireplace crackling]

[enigmatic music]

Unfortunately, my housekeeper's away at the moment.

A death in the family.

Of course.

However, everything is prepared for your stay.

When may I start?

When you wish.

There's a rather large volume of index...

Oh, sorry.

When may I start?

When you wish.

There's a large number of volumes to be indexed.

Do you need anything else?

Oh, I don't think so. You've been very kind.

I'm so lucky to work with such a distinguished scholar like yourself.

Well I like quiet and seclusion.

And this house, I think, offers that.

Then we are both satisfied.

Just one more thing, Mr. Harker.

[enigmatic music swells]

Fuck, what's my line?

[Minnie] Cut!

[film crew shuffling]

You okay Irving?

What?

Yes, yes. I'm fine.

You sure?

You look kind of pale.

I'm fine, I'm feeling just…

A bit hounded at the moment.

I haven't seen you eat anything all day.

There’s food over there if you need it.

Yes… well, I'm a bit particular.

[Minnie] Going again everyone.

[stage hand] Turning over.

Don't forget to eat.

It's a pretty easy thing to do.

[film crew shuffling]

I won't.

Thank you Tom.

Dracula Revamped roll one, scene: 31 B, take six.

[clap]

[enigmatic music]

Then we are both satisfied.

There's just one more thing Mr. Harker.

I'll be gone and I won't be back until sundown.

Goodnight, Mr. Harker.

[fireplace crackling]

May I?

Yes, certainly.

Your wife?

My fiancé.

You are very fortunate.

May I ask for her name?

Lucy.

Holmwood.

Charming, charming.

You're very kind.

[soft wind instrumental]

Sleep well.

Good night, Mr. Harker.

[music swells]

[tense musical shift]

[narrating] At last I have met Count Dracula.

He accepts me as a man who has agreed to work among his books as I intended.

It only remains for me now to await the daylight hours.

When, with God's help...

I will kill Dracula.

[dramatic music swells]

[TV program sounds]

[thunder claps]

[thunder claps]

[whispers] Liiisssaaaa...

[tense music]

[whispers] Liiisssaaaa...

[thunder claps]

[whispers] Liiisssaaaa...

[whispers] Let me in.

[dramatic music swells]

[window opening, wind blowing]

[puff]

[dramatic pipe organ music]

[puff]

[puffing]

[puff]

[car doors closing]

[frogs, cicadas, crickets chirping]

[Minnie] Hey.

[Tom] Where’s Lisa?

[Minnie] I don’t know, I couldn’t get in touch with her today.

You guys are late.

Well, the directions weren’t really very clear.

Everyone’s late.

Anyone got a script?

I think Irving's winging it now anyways.

So where's Hellwig?

He’s not in this scene.

Really?

Isn’t this the scene where he kills Lucy?

[camera whirring]

What's up with the camera?

We're just… still trying to find the on switch.

What?

It's a new one.

No one's actually used this one yet.

Well, that's just fucking great.

I think the battery might be flat.

Fucking brilliant, what about sound?

[sound crew] Yeah mate, we’re right. We're on phantom power.

[Irving] Phantom power? Then why can't you use phantom power?

Sorry we're missing a few people.

Yeah, I think they might be lost.

Lisa might be one of them.

No, she's not coming.

What?

Aren’t we filming her death scene?

No, I've. I've changed it.

Let's just get started.

[crickets chirping]

[enigmatic pipe organ music]

[camera beep]

What are you wearing?

Oh, I thought my costume was a bit drab.

You're one of the undead.

You've just crawled out of the bowels of the earth.

Go and get it.

I didn't bring it.

What?

I said I...

Right? Well fuck off then, we don't need you.

[low tense music]

So...

[girl crying]

the crew were wondering.

For the fuck of sake, what do those bloodsucking leeches want now?

Um. Did you just call your crew leeches?

[sound crew] Yeah, we got that.

You got that from over there?

[sound crew] Yeah.

Your sound hears everything.

Well good luck.

Fuck you all then!

Fuck you all.

Jesus, Irving.

What about you, Tom?

Where do your loyalties lie?

I don't know.

[footsteps]

Hey, Irving.

[dog barks]

Do we uh… have permission to be here?

In the graveyard? No.

So, ah...

[dogs barking, men stomping]

We better run then, ay?

Oh shit!

[dogs barking, men calling out]

[dramatic gothic music]

[footsteps on gravel]

[whooshing]

[crunch and splat]

Scene 18, shot six, take two.

[hollow clap]

[dramatic gothic music]

[Minnie] So, Irving,

what is it that inspires you to make art?

Is it an attempt to live on through it?

Like a way of finding immortality?

I don't do art to gain immortality.

I want to gain immortality by not dying.

[eerie wind]

[phone beeping]

[Minnie] Hi.

[exasperated Tom] Hiya…

Hey.

Umm…

I've been thinking.

And… I just want to say,

I'm sorry about what's been going on.

[Minnie sighing with relief] So am I.

I’ve just been…

feeling really frustrated of late.

[Minnie] Frustrated? Why?

I feel like I'm losing you to Irving.

[Minnie] You're not losing me to Irving, okay?

Well, I feel like I am with the play.

I mean, the movie.

[Minnie] Yeah, I think we've all lost that to Irving.

Yeah.

Anyway, I've decided

I'm going to go over to Irving's house tonight.

I've got to talk this through.

[Minnie] You think he’ll be up?

Yeah… He's always up. He's a night owl.

[Minnie] Okay… then I want to come, too.

You don't have to come.

[Minnie] Oh, I do.

I want to get all that footage off him.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

[Minnie] Hey… You can pick me up if you like.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd like that.

[Minnie chuckling]

[beep]

[deep exhale]

[clicking]

[door loudly creaking]

Nobody's here.

He's done a runner.

What they all have?

And left all their stuff behind?

Yeah, well, they didn't seem to have much stuff.

Maybe they couldn't pay the rent?

I don't think they ever paid rent.

Look at all this old mail.

Not if it looks like it was addressed to any of them.

They were squatting this whole time.

Yeah, I got the impression they do that a lot.

Yeah, I guess so.

What about the footage?

[loud clacking]

[suspenseful music]

Does this answer your question?

[gasping]

Oh my God, why would he do that?

[clattering]

There's one missing.

We've got to find it.

[clattering]

Hey, look.

What is it?

[electric whirring]

[puff]

Like I said.

We can’t just give that out to anybody.

[jazzy blues music]

[door slides and bell rings]

I thought he could help.

A client's information...

[bell loudly ringing]

…is strictly confidential.

Look good man.

Would you be so kind as to help these young people find their friend?

This is an emergency regarding a client's health.

Who are you?

I'm a doctor.

Like I just said.

It's just something that we cannot poss...

[deep sighing]

[paper stab]

A doctor you say?

Yes.

[paper stab]

In case of an emergency…

We can always make an exception.

Come to think of it.

They all did look quite… pale.

[tense music]

It's probably best if I go alone.

It's dangerous that you even pursue him.

No, we just want to find Lisa.

You do realize what must be done when we do find them?

What are you talking about?

Irving's a vampire, and he needs to die.

I mean, it's obvious, isn't it?

Yes, it is, isn't it?

How is that obvious?

I mean, he doesn't age for one.

And how do we know that?

[Tom] I mean, he's partial to sunlight.

[Minnie] I thought he was just hung over.

He said he never drinks…

Wine!

Oh my God. No. You know what?

We just want to find our friends.

Sometimes it's better to be a monster than a hero.

A monster. What are you talking about?

Tom, hey!

He's crazy, okay.

He's talking about killing Irving and Lisa.

I know, but if...

Then we have to find them before he does, okay? Or they're dead.

[cork pops] A drink for courage.

[watch ticking]

Now go home and rest.

I'll alert you of the outcome on the morrow.

[gothic pipe organ music]

[car doors open and close]

[footsteps in long grass]

[deep sighing]

I guess this is it.

[huffing]

It feels kind of weird.

Do you reckon there was something in that drink?

Maybe.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just nerves?

[loud exhales]

What are you doing?

Getting ready to defend myself?

Oh, come on, you don't seriously believe Hellwig, do you?

Well.

[scoffing]

You're wearing a cross.

Hey, it's jewelry all right? We're already committing a break and enter.

Just don't do it with a weapon in your hand.

Fine.

It was a really good stick.

[eerie musical sting]

[crunching]

[door creaking open]

[tense music]

[floorboards creaking]

[eerie musical sting]

[disgusted groan]

There’s nobody here.

It smells like your feet.

Maybe they’ve gone already?

Let's just look around first.

[suspenseful music]

[sighing]

Thank God… Tom!

[earsplitting scratching on glass]

Please

let me in.

[window opening]

[ominous noise]

[suspenseful music]

[creaking]

Tom!

Irving!

Nasty habit I know.

Put it with the others love.

[blood dripping]

God, this happens every time.

Come on Tom, I'll make it quick.

It's all true.

[wood crashing]

[dirt pouring]

[whispering] It was cold outside.

Irving wouldn't let me in.

[thud]

[beads rattle]

[hissing]

Well, it will hurt a lot at first, but...

[crunching]

[struggling]

[dramatic music]

Back! Back! You ghouls.

Fuck!

[enigmatic music]

[slapping]

[cork popping]

Drink from the blood of the lord.

[hissing]

What's that?

It's just something someone gave me.

You don't believe in such silly things.

Do you?

[suspenseful music]

There…

That's it.

Now you're free.

Free?

That's right, sister.

Free from all those tired…

morals and ethics.

Here.

Let me show you.

[sand pouring]

[Zen screaming]

[wind howling]

Are you well, my boy?

I think so.

[screaming]

[screaming]

Let go, Lisa!

Lisa, let go!

[screaming]

[hissing]

[stabbing]

[dusty pop]

Lisa! Oh my God, you killed her.

[whimpers]

[wind howling]

Tom, what the fuck is happening?!

I'm afraid the medicine I gave you has made you giddy.

You drugged us?

Certainly not.

My intention was to help you sleep.

Tom, Tom.

He’s batshit crazy. He’s going to kill us.

What?

Heavens no, my daughter.

That is unless you turn before I find Irving.

You have been bitten after all.

Don't touch me!

[sobbing]

We cannot rest until Irving's head and body have been separated.

And we are sure he cannot reincarnate.

I'm sorry, professor, I can't do this.

Very well. I'm old…

but I can fight.

And I can die as easily as a younger man.

Take care.

[wind howling]

[sword unsheathing]

[dramatic musical sting]

[footsteps]

[thudding]

[slicing and screaming]

[crunching]

[sound of waves and people playing]

[coins jingling]

[Tom] Thank you!

[Minnie] Hey.

[Tom] Hey!

You found me.

Yeah.

It's pretty easy these days.

Yeah…

I guess so.

Hey, listen, um.

I'm sorry that I haven't answered any of your messages.

I just…

I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it.

On camera. I mean.

Oh…

No, I um.

I wasn't calling about the doco.

Sorry, I kind of thought you were upset about me and…

Oh, no it's…

That's fine. It's um…

I've moved on.

In a number of ways.

Um, it's actually about Hellwig.

Did you hear the police got him?

Oh, shit. Really?

Where was he?

He was just out at a restaurant.

He wasn't even hiding.

I guess he really believed in what he did.

You don't, do you?

[scoffing]

I mean, I don't know what to think.

Tom, you know he drugged us, right?

Before we went in he put something in those drinks that made us…

I don't know. See those things.

Yeah, I kind of wondered that.

Well, I think he was Irving’s dealer.

That's what all that was about.

Yeah, that kind of makes sense, actually.

And he's stark raving mad.

[mobile phone ringing]

Oh, shit.

Speak of the devil.

What? Really?

[beep]

Hello?

[Hellwig] Ah, Tom. My dear chap.

I'm in a bit of a spot and I require your assistance.

Yeah, I don't think I should be talking to you.

[Hellwig] I dearly need you to fetch something for me.

Yeah…

I don't think I should be doing that.

Hello?

[Hellwig] My boy.

I assure you…

Once your eyes fall onto this particular item.

You…

Will have a change…

Of heart.

Just find out what it is.

Okay. What is it?

[Hellwig] There's a good chap.

First, you will need to locate the key.

[train passing]

[gothic pipe organ music]

[suspenseful music]

[eerie musical sting]

[Magistrate] Mr. Hellwig.

This court has experienced your insufferable objectiveness.

Time and time again.

But this is the first time that I have experienced it directly.

And I intend it to be the last. Is that clear?

Yes, your honor.

[suspenseful music]

Such excellent timing.

[loud thud]

Mr. Hellwig.

What is going on now?

Some new evidence has come to light, your honor.

[dramatic pipe organ music]

Ladies and gentlemen of the court.

I present to you the proof behind my tale.

Exhibit A!

[collective gasping]

[eerie music swells]

[hissing]

♪ Oh, it’s vampire time. ♪

♪ When demons have their way. ♪

♪ Yeah, it’s vampire time. ♪

♪ Oh oh. The dead will have their day. ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh. ♪

[rock music]

♪ Moonlight calling. ♪

♪ Darkness falling. ♪

♪ Werewolves ♪

♪ howling. ♪

♪ Because ♪

♪ cause it’s vampire time ♪

♪ it's all in seven eight. ♪

♪ We’re on vampire time ♪

♪ eternal night awaits. ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh. ♪

♪ Undead brawlin’. ♪

♪ Goblins crawlin’. ♪

♪ Shadows risin'. ♪

♪ Cause we’re ♪

♪ we’re on vampire time. ♪

[heavy bass guitar]

♪ In this satanic ♪ ♪ jurisdiction ♪

♪ everything ♪ ♪ is science fiction. ♪

♪ This world is a contradiction ♪ ♪ I’m out of my mind. ♪

♪ Technicolor blood addiction. ♪

♪ Unrelenting dereliction. ♪

♪ Accidental crucifixion. ♪

♪ Tell me I’m alive. ♪

♪ Unrequited love transfixion. ♪

♪ Disproportionate attrition. ♪

♪ Indiscriminate perdition. ♪

♪ Moonlight on rewind ♪

♪ Indeterminate affliction ♪

♪ Uncontrollable conviction. ♪

♪ Chiropteran predilection. ♪

♪ Holiness on fire. ♪

♪ In this satanic jurisdiction. ♪

♪ Everything is science fiction. ♪

♪ This world is a contradiction. ♪

♪ I’m out of my mind. ♪

♪ In this satanic jurisdiction ♪

♪ everything is science fiction. ♪

♪ This world is a contradiction. ♪

♪ I’m out of my mind. ♪

♪ We’re on vampire time. ♪

♪ When demons have their way. ♪

♪ Yeah, it’s vampire time. ♪

♪ The dead will have their day. ♪

♪ This jurisdiction. ♪

♪ Science fiction. ♪

♪ Contradiction. ♪

♪ Rewind. ♪

♪ Affliction. ♪

♪ Transfixion. ♪

♪ Conviction. ♪

♪ On vampire time. ♪

♪ I’m out of my mind. ♪

♪ Holiness on fire. ♪

♪ Tell me I'm alive. ♪