Original subtitles

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(horse neighing)

[NARRATOR] War is a haunting abyss.

that engulfs humanity in profound darkness,

tearing apart communities

and families with a ferocity

that resonates through history.

Brother turned against brother.

And citizens found themselves engulfed

in a maelstrom of violence

fueled by ideological divisions.

The haunting echoes of battles reverberated

through the once quiet towns,

leaving scars that extended far beyond

the battlefield.

Marked by gruesome encounters in the dehumanizing effects of war

unfolded with devastating consequences.

Families were torn asunder,

cities reduced to rubble,

and the very ideals became obscured

in the haze of bloodshed.

(gunshots)

(soldier groans in pain)

[NARRATOR] I've seen a thousand years

of human kind's bullshit,

(bloody gurgling)

and lived it.

(soldier yelling in pain)

(men screaming in agony)

[SOLDIER] Medic!

But fuck it.

(angry yelling)

(men screaming)

(painful ringing)

[SOLDIER] Get up! Come on Jerry.

- Gotta get him up- - Come on Jerry.

Get up man. Come on.

(painful neighing)

(muffled groan)

(cutting flesh)

(man screaming in pain)

(cutting intensifies)

(cutting stops abruptly) (soldier yells)

[NARRATOR] Did I mention I was a vampire?

But in modern times, we say fangers.

Sunlight sucks.

It doesn't kill you.

Not right away at least.

(gunshots)

We heal pretty fast.

(gunshot)

(gunshot)

Running away from your company, ain't ya?

What's it to ya?

Hands up. You coming with us.

I don't know if you want to do that.

He didn't even flinch.

Whoa! Boy!

He's running away, hey boys!

Funny thing is old boy, I ain't never seen you before.

Living high off the cotton corporal.

You see that burning over there?

- I do. - Well that used to be Atlanta.

Now it's time for somebody to pay the piper.

It's a shame too.

I just got no time for heroes.

He got fangs boss!

Tell the devil Druid sent ya.

[JERRY] You know what's crazy?

I'm actually a really good swimmer.

Surviving the plague in the 14th century,

will do that to a man.

Yeah, I should probably be dead after that.

Funny thing, though, when you're immortal, it doesn't happen that way.

Taking a header off a waterfall...

just fine.

Male pattern baldness.

Well, nothing beautiful lasts forever.

DEVOUR (squelching)

(ominous music)

Hello, New Salem and happy Halloween.

Or as we like to say, Hell Hallow's Eve.

What you see behind me is the infamous Lantern Parade going on

now, this is the route to go through the middle of the town

and stops at the Psycho Tronic FM radio station.

Now, I've been told that trick or treating goes until 11 p.m.,

mayor's orders, but it should be a record evening,

so make sure you check your candy and stay safe out there.

[JERRY] Anyway, these days I'm shacked up with some other fangers like me.

Hey. hot stuff!

- Hey, what's up girl?

[JERRY] 900 years of life

and I still somehow end up as a fucking roadie.

Oh, well,

what the fuck else am I going to do?

I got all the time in the world.

Open your throat bitch.

(butt slap)

- Fuck you. - Bitches.

Let's go! Now!

- Hey! What the fuck are you doing, bitch!

- Oh he called you a bitch. - Thanks for the compliment!

- And the donation!

(Woman laughs loudly)

(group in van laughing)

(intense heavy rock music)

How much we get this time?

Almost a full tank.

Yo, can we get a motel?

Cuz you guys fucking reek.

- What? - Yeah.

All y'all fucking reek.

Can't hear you bitch.

What?! Yeah!

(Virginia Bitches song playing)

Yeah! - Yeah!

(heavy rock song continues)

♪ We're the Virginia Bitches, screaming through the night ♪

(song continues)

[JERRY] Between you and me,

Living forever kind of sucks

after a little while.

You start to get bored.

So I decided to start a rock band called the Virginia Bitches.

♪ Will you remember me! ♪

(heavy rock music continues)

(heavy rock music continues)

(music ends abruptly)

(butt slap)

Hey what the fuck?

Back the fuck off meatsack.

Where's Morgan?

She is...uh,

- indisposed. - Oh.

She's on the toilet.

Morgan, what the fuck, dude?

What is... We gotta. We gotta go!

You can't do- what the fuck?

Not here. Get off of him!

What?!

- We gotta go. - It's just like a quickie.

We got a good thing going for us.

And if you keep leaving a blood trail everywhere we go, words gonna spread.

Oh, fuck off, I was starving.

He wanted to meet the band.

(scoffs)

The band.

If you keep eating all of our fans, who's going to come to our shows?

Stopping at the morgue later, restock.

(sarcastically) You're so much fun.

Get yourself together. Let's go.

(heavy rock music)

(loud heavy metal music)

Okay crew,

we got a three hour drive after this quick meeting.

What meeting? - I need a roadie.

You ladies are, uh, how should I put this...

a lot to handle.

I could use some help. - Hey!

I mean, I guess we could use some extra hands.

Can we eat him?

(chuckling)

No! You think I like cleaning up after all of you alone?

Please don't eat the help.

Don't play with your food, bitch.

You guys are boring.

You're boring, you're boring. You're especially boring,

You're boring Jerry. - Boring Jerry.

From now on, just boring Jerry. - Boring Jerry.

How long you've been boring Jerry? 200 years. 300 years.

Oh my God I hope somebody fucking kills me.

(ominous music)

(store door chime rings)

Don't tell me you're the fucking guy.

Uh. Yes, sir.

- Fucking seriously?

Alright.

Let's get it over with before that jacket falls apart I guess.

Yeah, uh, so

I worked at a hardware store six months, until I...

Well, sort of, kind of, crashed a forklift.

But that was because I was tired and overworked.

I will work my ass off to get out of the shit town.

Obviously.

This is my first interview at midnight ever, by the way.

It's fairly...

Strange, right?

Yeah let's just say I'm a little bit of a night owl.

Hey! Uhm...

I don't think you can do that in here.

(sniffing)

So you got any family? - Uhm.

No, I mean, no family.

That the skinny of it?

- Well- - Actually shut the fuck up, I don't care.

Continue.

Well, you won't be disappointed.

That's what I like to hear.

So, uhm...

what is the gig?

Roadie work, tour with the girls, carry their shit.

And if you're lucky enough tune a guitar once in a while.

Hi, guys. Are we ready to order?

Yeah let me get a bacon cheeseburger with everything but tomato, please.

Side of fries? - Yes.

And can I have some ketchup on the side, - Sure can.

And for you?

Leave it.

Dylan, I need you to drink this.

Seriously?

Oh, yeah I don't see why this is necessary for the interview, but okay.

Oh, I'm fucking with you.

Oh, okay.

So you don't want any tomato on your hamburger?

Never liked them. - But you want ketchup with your fries?

I guess so.

Does have a different taste, I suppose.

Yeah and I don't like the way a tomato,

like, takes over the whole burger, you know.

Doesn't an onion do that? - Not in the same way.

Why, because it's an onion.

And you like the taste of onion?

I mean, I suppose. Is this a test?

A long time ago.

(chuckling) Shit.

A real long fucking time ago, actually.

Rich people used have dishes made of pewter.

You know what happens when you put tomato on pewter?

What?

The acid in the fruit

causes the lead to bleed out of the metal.

Slowly killing the person over time with heavy metal poisoning.

Because of this,

for a long time, wealthy people

thought that tomatoes were poisonous.

I heard of that, I think.

You know what poor people were doing this entire time.

Probably eating tomatoes.

That's right.

They were eating fucking tomatoes. For 400 years,

this went on completely unnoticed by the ruling class.

And do you know why? - Why?

Because no one gives a shit about something

killing poor people.

She's right.

Okay, ladies, what do you think?

Welcome to the clan, Dylan.

My name's Kate.

Hi Kate. Nice to meet you.

God, Dylan, don't make it weird.

I'm sorry. Hey, What's up?

(Kate laughs)

All right, everybody.

Dylan's the new bitch, so stop asking me to do shit.

So, do you have any special set of skills?

No. Not really.

Should I?

Hello delicious.

Let's not kill the help just yet.

Hey, so we got an errand to run.

You ready for your first test?

Yeah. Born ready.

(vampires laugh menacingly)

(chime) Period.

Yes.

Is this a venue?

Get ready to pop that cherry.

Pop. Pop the. The what?

It's all good, I got him.

We will be the lookouts.

Yo, guys, we should have shotguns.

No, that is totally unnecessary and

dramatic, but I like where your head's at.

Oh god.

[KATE] Is it on?

Let's go.

Be right back!

Dylan,

you smoke weed?

Oh, I'm not sure.

No, not not really.

Don't say sure.

A man who's not sure is not a doer.

Are you a follower or a doer?

I'm a doer.

Dylan, do you smoke weed?

Yes, I do.

Good answer.

Now smoke yourself into a chiller personality.

(Dylan coughs painfully)

Holy cow!

I can't see shit in this thing.

- I mean, why are we even wearing masks?

They can't see us in a recording.

- Jerry won't know.

- Should we just take them off.

Wow.

Huh?

Someone had a little party in here.

Pretty sick place to party.

Jo

get the blood from the freezer.

I smell something close.

What is it?

[KATE] It's who.

[excited yelling)

Well, well, well, what do we have here?

Some late night takeout.

No, no, no, bitch, bitch. Do not eat that.

Something fucked up happened here.

I agree with Jo.

You don't know where that's been.

They're boring.

Cause of death.

Having sex too many times.

Girl same.

Ooh la la.

Look who we've got here.

What did you do to my friend?

She's going to die.

Oh, this is something we don't see often.

[MORGAN] No.

What did you do to my friend?

Oh, she's gonna stab you first.

We could use a fourth.

Seriously? Here?

It's not like you help with the gear princess.

My friend Abby. What did you do to her?

Bitch, chill, we just got here.

(stabbing)

Fuck.

No way.

You don't play bass by chance do you?

What?

Fuck it.

(biting) (woman screaming in pain)

So we should bury her.

Ooh, ooh, my favorite cemetery is across the street.

That.

[KATE] Perfect. Let's go.

These are mine.

Doesn't help with the bodies.

Doesn't help with the gear.

My God.

(spooky music)

(digging)

Jerry.

It's bedtime.

Come on.

(digging)

Hey, this is, this is deep enough, right?

Still a bit freaked out about why we're even doing this.

[JERRY] Yeah it's fine.

It's part of the transformation Dylan.

Wait.

- The what? - Dylan,

shut the fuck up and bury this girl.

I'm totally going to jail for this.

Fucking pussy!

[DYLAN] You know what? It's all good.

Dead chicks. Morgues.

I'm rolling with it. - Dylan,

relax.

You're going to get a paycheck.

We're gonna go get some sleep.

Like a hotel.

No, we're gonna go sleep in the van.

You're going to sleep in the cemetery.

Keep an eye on our friend down there.

You want me to guard the dead chick?

Yes! And don't wake us up

until the sun goes down.

Jerry it's like, five in the morning.

Dude that's like 13 hours.

Weren't you just bragging about being a badass?

It's obvious, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Don't say that.

We just went over this. - Fuck. Got it.

Just watch the fucking corpse.

Hey, siphon some gas while you're at it.

Throw that fucking jacket in there.

Bitch! I thought I hid those from you.

Blood slut.

[DYLAN] Alright buddy.

I've had a good run.

(wolf howl)

Where am I?

In a cemetery, in a shitty town called New Salem.

Am I alive?

I can't answer that for you.

You?

This is all a little new and crazy, if you ask me.

I'm not feeling like myself,

and you're kind of cute.

Uh, thanks?

(Dylan screams in fear)

Well hello pretty lady.

What the fuck did you do to me?

She looks way better like this. - Yeah.

She is so hot. - Yeah.

I think you're a vampire.

Whoa whoa whoa. - No.

Dylan. - Dylan.

We don't say that word.

We say fanger.

Fanger? Okay.

Hey, Marie. Calm down. Okay.

You're new to this. Take a few deep breaths.

I'm so hungry.

I have a blood pack for now. Trust me.

You'll have fun later.

Jesus. Calm down, tiger.

Jerry, I got this.

We found you in a morgue.

We're traveling metal band.

We need a bass player.

I'm Kate, this is Jo, Morgan,

and Jerry.

And Dylan.

- The fuck? - Okay, thanks.

And Dylan.

(heavy metal music)

So, like Twilight vampires or more like Lost Boys?

I mean, Fangers.

Do I look like I watch TV? - Uhm...

No. Probably not.

We all met Jerry a long time ago.

Morgan and Jo, they turned more recently.

I'd say maybe 80 years ago?

You're making me feel old.

So, vampires in a rock band.

Metal band.

We're a fuckin metal band.

We're a metal radio bitch.

[KATE] We could use another member.

I don't play any instruments.

Literally anyone can play the bass you'll be fine.

That's true.

(vampires chuckle)

We travel by night,

sleep during the day and make money on the road,

and you pretty much never know what's going to happen next,

which is what makes it so thrilling.

So...

What do you say?

What other choice do I have?

No.

You were dead already.

Technically, we did you a favor.

If you,

want to split, though, I guess we can't hold it against you.

There's a, truck stop right down the street.

Plenty of fatties for you to gorge on.

You could basically get a head start.

And we are one hour from Crimson City.

Then at 9:30, we go on at Abyss Underground!

[METAL LADIES] Yeah!

Wait, can I be a vampire?

Dylan, that is an honor you have to earn.

Oh, shit. Definitely Lost Boys.

You know, you chicks are badass, by the way.

It's not even- - Let the Right One In.

Yeah. - Child.

That's more my style.

Wait. Okay, so vampires

yet I've seen fangs like once.

Yeah we only pop fang when things get interesting.

Alright. Bet.

We'll take good care of you.

- Maybe. - Probably not.

(Vampire ladies chuckle) - Good luck.

Let's hit it.

(heavy metal music)

(ominous music)

(car engine starts)

Okay, ladies, it's showtime.

Kate start a sound check.

Jo, Dylan, grab some guitars.

Morgan, I know drum set suck but...

Marie the bass is like two notes.

Just vibe out and the audience will vibe out.

Try to look sexy. Follow Kate's lead.

Holy shit.

If it ain't fucking Jerry and his, uh,,,

bitches.

Carl you fat piece of shit.

How are you? - I'm hanging in brother.

I'm hanging in.

Trying to look as cool as you.

I'm also trying to pack this joint out.

I don't suppose you all sold any tickets for me?

Nah, man, we're light years past that game.

(Carl laughs)

Brother nobody's light years past that game.

It's the only game left unless you're on a major tour.

Yeah, well...

They're ready to hit the stage.

Well have a good show, and you come see me after the show. All right?

Hey, we don't leave until I get my money.

Of course. Who do you think your fucking with?

(Carl laughs)

I'll see you after the show.

I got some business I gotta take care of alright.

Fucking hate that guy.

Should we kill him? - Yes, please.

(heavy metal band playing)

(guitar solo) (crowd cheering)

(music ends) (crowd cheering)

This is through?

[JERRY] Yeah, you put the string in the string shaped thing.

Don't be shy. I just jam it in there.

(strumming)

See you're stringing a guitar.

Not thinking of banging your cousin for the first time.

Relax.

(electric guitar strumming)

(rock song starting)

Check check-ow. (loud feedback)

(clearing his throat) Hello, hello, hello.

(song continues)

♪ I know a place where evil's lurking ♪

♪ A place that stinks of putrid sin ♪

♪ Pierce the skin just to watch it bleed ♪

♪ The realm of darkness creeping in ♪

♪ The end of existence ♪

(live guitar lick) (crowd cheering)

Yo, Jo what do I do?

You're getting there bitch, confidence!

Like what, like this?

Literally my grandma can play the bass, like you're gonna be fine.

Hey you got this!

(crowd cheering)

[JO] Bitch it's just bass.

Yes!

(crowd cheering louder)

♪ The Serpent's Chord by Virginia Bitches ♪

(song continues)

(song ends) (crowd cheering)

(ominous music)

Hey I'm Sue,

you got the cash?

You got what I came for?

Jesus. Of course

We're chill here.

There's no need for any trouble.

Follow me.

This is the one? - Yes.

There are six other dead bodies that came in the same night.

Where did they find them?

Out in the back of a concert venue in a back alley.

Check this out.

(squelching)

(counting money)

Who are you?

I didn't catch your name.

Van Helsing.

But I was never here? Was I?

(pained groan)

Okay, so how'd I do?

Like Morgan said, anyone can play bass.

You fucking killed it.

(making guitar noises)

(whispering) Dylan, Dylan, Dylan.

[JO] Dylan!

Give me the fucking guitar.

[DYLAN] Yeah.

Good boy.

You feeling it yet? - I think I am a little.

Hey, Kate, our Lord and Savior lead songstress.

- Yes?

Are you going to help us with the fucking gear?

What do you think I'm doing?

Let's go.

(Dylan struggling)

(cell phone ringing)

I guess I gotta go find Carl.

Jerry!

Everybody in there is dead to you.

Wasn't even a smartphone.

Oh, why don't you teeth on me bitch.

Oh. That's it.

(woman moaning) Come on.

[JERRY] Hey fat Carl you fuck.

You better not be getting your dick sucked back here.

Oh, shit.

(woman gagging)

I'm sorry honey,

How the fuck are you going to come barging in here on me like this?

At least let me fucking finish next time.

(woman vomits)

[CARL] Oh what the fuck?!

Oh, Jesus Christ, - Looks like he's finished.

All right, honey, beat it. Get out of here.

I don't have time for your fucking games, man.

Jesus fucking Christ.

[KATE] Come on.

Yeah.

(woman moaning in agony)

Oh, God. Not again.

[CARL] Again.

That has got to be the tiniest dick I have ever seen.

Yeah, if it was any smaller, it'd be in his ass,

(Kate and Jerry laugh)

Where's our fucking money?

Here it is, I got your fucking money.

Alright let's see.

There's ten, five. We said 100, right? Give me a minute I gotta...

(Carl counting to himself)

It's supposed to be 500.

500? What are you outta your fucking minds?

You guys didn't sell enough tickets. No pre-sales.

(condescendingly) 500...

Oh, don't give me that fucking bullshit.

This place is packed to the brim. - Sit tight.

Give me five minutes. I'll be right back.

Or...

I could rip is testicles right out off of his body.

Yeah, she's really good at that.

No, that doesn't fucking sound good.

Chill out, big man.

alright, what the fuck?

Talking about ripping my nuts off, are you nuts?

(Carl sighs)

Look I'll tell you what.

You just give me five minutes. Relax.

No testicle ripping.

I got some more money in my car,

and I'll be right back, alright?

Alright.

But in five minutes, either we're going to have that money, or

I'm going to have a new pair of testicles hanging from my rearview mirror.

[CARL] I knew you were cool.

That badass shirt but you're actually a nice guy.

You, I don't know.

Shit.

[CARL] Crazy bitch.

Pretty but you're not all that smart.

I got money in my car, my money.

Dumb bitch.

Oh. Shit.

Fucking Charlie.

Charlie, you cock sucker!

Where the hell are you? Pick up your phone.

Listen, I want you to meet me at the gas station.

I'm gonna pick up the rest of my money.

Hey and call me back after nine. All right?

I get free minutes after that

Prick.

(honking)

(biting)

(Carl struggling in pain)

(Carl screaming in agony)

(Carl screaming in agony)

(Carl screaming in agony)

(Carl groaning)

Where are you, you crazy bitch?!

Fuck you!

(Marie growling)

Oh shit!

No! No!

(Carl grunting)

Stay the fuck away from me!

(Marie growling)

(Carl screams)

(Marie growls)

[CARL] God!

[CARL] Goddammit.

(Carl screams)

(Carl whimpering)

Fuck you!

Bet that was tasty.

(Marie chuckles)

Girl, that was impressive.

So hot.

(Vampires laugh)

[JERRY] Did he have any money on him?

That's all that's left of Carl?

[MARIE] My bad.

Don't worry about it.

That's a bonus. I hated that guy.

Check this out. - All right. Much appreciated

Thanks for the tip, Carl.

Hey! A vibrator! - Ew!

(Jerry gags)

Carl led a very interesting life.

Does this happen often?

We don't have any money. We don't have any gas.

We don't have any gas. We stay in the same place too long.

Things can go sideways quick.

Okay.

(screaming)

No, no, no, Dylan. Absolutely not.

Just keep driving Dylan. - No!

We can't just leave her here.

[MORGAN] That is problems right there. No. No.

No, no, no, we need to pick her up. - No we don't.

- Yes, yes, yes. - We're not picking her up.

We're picking her up. - Jerry, no.

No, no, no, Jerry.

Some woman walking down the middle of the road covered in blood.

That is problems. Jerry! - No!

Fuck!

[JERRY] Thank you.

[DYLAN] Jerry, she's not moving.

What the fuck?

Jerry! Jerry! - We can't just leave her here.

You can! - No!

She's pregnant.

[JERRY] We're not just gonna leave her out here.

[MORGAN] Jerry, this fucked. [JO] I'm not touching her.

We're doing this!

[JERRY] Get the door.

[MARIE] Lay her down here.

[KATE] We need to get her to a hospital.

Fuck.

This is still my first day!

Are we gonna take a vote on this?

No, we need to go to the hospital now.

I think her tongue has been ripped out.

Dude, she doesn't have a fucking tongue. - What?

[JERRY] Who did this to you honey?

Nope. Nope, nope. Shut up.

This is exactly the kind of shit

we do not want to be involved in. - Agreed.

Thank you.

We can drop her off and get some help.

No Dylan, pedal to the metal.

Get us there now!

If you guys are vamps, why don't you just heal her?

You don't know what you're talking about.

[MORGAN] It's your first day, Dylan.

It looks like she doesn't want to be in this town at all.

(police siren)

Oh fuck.

All right, everybody be cool.

I got this.

(tense music)

[JERRY] Nowadays, there's all kinds of creatures of the night prowling.

You just gotta figure out

who's hunting who.

License and registration?

Yeah. Of course.

Here you go.

Registration.

Jerry... do we, do we have?

[JERRY] Old enemies are like old friends.

- I don't think we have the registration on the vehicle.

[JERRY] You pick up right where you left off.

Yo, ain't no way hot cross buns is a fucking cop.

Vampires aren't the only things that live forever.

Look at these guys.

Haven't aged a day.

Gotta ask him about that skincare routine.

Probably sirens don't look smart enough to be warlocks.

Everybody step out of the van now.

Fuck, well, what do we do?

Jerry? Jerry, that guy smells weird.

He's not wearing a fucking shirt. He's not a meat sack.

Meat sack?

It's our food, humans, they smell different.

This is your last chance.

Step out of the van pronto.

Throw the keys out the window. Now!

Okay. Okay, officer, we're...

We're coming out of the van- - No!

We're coming out of the vehicle. (angry whispers)

Ain't nobody getting out of this fucking van.

(terrified) Okay, okay.

Whoa!

Y'all not hear me?

Get out of the fucking van!

Get out of the fucking van!

Now! All of you.

(magical scream)

(glass cracking)

(band yelling in pain)

(screaming continues)

[JERRY] Punch it! Go go go go go go.

Tell me you at least have your-

(magical screaming continues)

[DRUID] Go get 'em boys.

Hunting time. Let's go!

(police siren)

(tense chase music)

[DRUID] You remember him?

The fat one from the waterfall.

Boy with the fangs boss.

Over them falls I watched him die.

Let's send him back to hell.

[DYLAN] Kate what you're doing?

Jerry, what the fuck's going on with Kate?

[JERRY] Just drive.

[KATE] I got this. [JO] Kate no!

- Kate no! - I said stop!

What is she doing?

[JERRY] We're all a little special,

and Kate,

Kate's something else.

She had magic on her side

before we even met.

Yee haw!

(Druid yelling in anger)

(car horn)

Never driven bitch!

(Morgan and Jo groaning in pain) Calm down.

Fuck.

We need to do some damage control.

(Marie groans in pain) Bitches.

- You all right back there? - We're fine.

[JERRY] The hospital is right there.

Come on ladies.

Watch the van.

[MARIE] Is she okay?

Everybody's okay?

Okay then.

[KATE] Jo? - Yeah.

Let's go.

(Morgan crying in pain)

[JERRY] Not all meat sacks are for eating.

Sometimes when someone's been through enough pain, they can make a good friend.

(Morgan crying)

(growling)

(biting)

I can't do this.

That's too much.

Fuck!

Call everybody! - Fucking thing almost hit me.

Call every fucking unit!

They gonna pay for this.

They gonna fucking pay for this!

(Druid spits)

[JERRY] Oh good.

They're all dressed up for Halloween.

Creepy.

Okay, kiddos, what the fuck is going on here?

Ma'am, she needs some help.

Tell me why I shouldn't kill every single

one of these fucking meat sacks right now.

- Let's just wait and see what the fuck is going on.

(body slams onto gurney)

Why do they all have white eyes?

Fucking fuck.

(magical scream)

(vampires screaming in pain)

[KATE] Jerry, where are you guys?

(swords clashing)

(men yelling in battle)

[JERRY] Lilith is the mother of all monsters.

But Kate,

Kate's her actual daughter.

I swore an oath to Lillith that I would protect her daughter at any cost.

No matter what it took,

she would be safe.

But I broke that promise.

That's how she became one of us.

(Jerry in Kate's mind) We're coming for you.

Jerry, where are you guys?

[JERRY] Show Marie where you are.

Marie!

[JERRY] You have to show Marie.

Marie!

(Kate coughs painfully)

[JERRY] The bassist.

Focus your thoughts on your dark master.

(Kate in Marie's mind) Marie!

What was that?

What was what? I didn't say anything.

Hey, hey, when are we getting out of here?

Whoa.

(Marie scoffing in surprise)

I forgot how strong I was when I first turned.

Maybe you can squeeze us outta here.

[KATE] Marie!

Kate. Kate's calling to me.

Yeah, she does that.

(walls cracking)

(Marie and Jo screaming)

[JO] Ah, God...

Fuck.

My leg.

- God.

(Walls cracking)

It happens a lot.

Fucking shit.

Did you get weird crazy color shit things from Kate?

No, I would have said something.

Okay. What about? What about Jerry?

I don't know, I can smell him- - Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Let's go this way. God I want to light this place on fire.

Can we?

(tense music)

(whispering) Jerry.

(whispering) Jerry.

(whispering loudly) Jerry!

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(chanting in foreign language)

(thunder)

We

are gathered here

for the coming of the Almightiest God, God!

Our one above all.

Our Savior.

from blood he was born,

and from blood

he is

reborn!

We want the blood.

Give us the blood.

We want the child.

Give us the child.

Now beg. (chanting continues)

I want to hear you beg.

Beg! We want the child! Beg!

(speaking incantation in foreign language)

(pregnant woman screams) (woman continues incantation)

[DRUID] This baby is for pain.

(chanting, incantation, Druid talking, all overlap)

(pregnant woman screaming)

(chanting continues)

Give us the blood!

(incantation continues)

(thunder)

Give us the blood!

(incantation resumes)

The one the almighty!

I will live forever.

You will live forever!

You will live forever! With the God, the almighty, the all masterful!

Pain!

(woman yelling)

(baby crying)

(baby crying)

(monster growling)

(chanting continues)

(man grunting in pain)

What the fuck is that?

It's a ceremony.

(groaning)

For what? - The rebirth of the Warlock.

- The Warlock. (chanting resumes)

Every 150 years Cain is reborn.

(biting)

(man screaming in pain)

Aww mama bear so proud.

[MARIE] So good!

[MARIE & JO] Jerry.

Jerry.

Jesus Jo get me out of these damn things.

I'm glad you're okay.

Morgan? Kate? - Haven't found them yet.

I mean, did they not bring Kate down here with you?

Not unless they turned her into a husky.

A what? - What?

Something making a noise out there in the dark.

Oh, what is this?

- Yikes.

Human trafficking. - Not in my experience,

but, you know, a lot of shit's changed since the 70s.

[JERRY] What's that?

My grandma used to let me play with one of these when I was a kid.

Can't believe they still make these crazy, creepy ass dolls.

- Get it out of my face.

I hear breathing,

Something's coming. (Marie yells)

Marie!

Hold on!

Where'd she go?

[JERRY] She just joined the band.

[JO] Marie!

[JERRY] Oh my knees.

Jesus Christ. What the fuck?

- What are you doing here touching my things?

Oh, my God, I didn't know they were your things.

How do you want to handle this?

I can hear you assholes.

So I wouldn't dare try anything else.

Or I'll just split her in two. - Okay hi!

I didn't know they were your things, I

had no idea no one was down here.

What's your name?

No one has asked me that in...

A very long time.

It's...

Maybelle Roux-

Something, it's been a while.

May. Can I call you May?

You're very strong. You're hurting me.

[crying] Any time someone comes down here for me, they hurt me.

May.

Are you human?

I think so, why?

No reason.

Smells like a kennel down here.

You have an

interesting smell as well.

We have a scent?

You smell different to me.

What do we smell like?

Dead blood.

That's, that's why you guys are here. You.

You came to help me.

You found my letter for, asking for help.

Oh, no no no no no, honey, unfortunately, we just zigged

when we should have zagged, and we wound up in this lovely shithole

with you.

But no...May, May, May.

We have a common enemy.

Yeah, they captured us and imprisoned us when we're just trying

to get out of this shithole.

Take me with you.

I'm, I'm going crazy. (bone cracking and growling)

By myself down here.

I'm uhm,

I've tried more times than I can remember to, to get this off, but,

I wake up with a new set, and I can't even pronounce the words...

Come on.

(scared whimpering and muttering)

(May shivering)

Come on.

Alright May, you said you know which way to go.

Lead the way girl.

Well I think this way.

(gun cocking) Hands up!

On the wall now!

[JERRY] Hey, don't be a hero, man.

Stay right there.

Druid-

Whoo!

Can we please keep moving? Great.

(collar beeping)

(alarm horn) [AUTOMATED VOICE] Warning.

May stop!

[AUTOMATED VOICE] Warning. - Hurry.

Okay, back up, back up, back up. - Take it off right now.

One second. Okay, May, take a deep breath. Count down with me, alright.

Three, two.

One. Oh!

(distant) [AUTOMATED VOICE] Warning.

Y'all okay?

We gotta keep moving.

(sinister music)

(thunder)

[MORGAN] Hey.

(crying)

Hey, look at me, look at me.

Your baby didn't make it, okay,

I know, I know, I know, I know.

(crying harder) Shh. Shh.

Listen, we gotta get out of here, okay?

We have to go. Come on.

[DRUID] Alright darling, we gonna have some fun.

[JERRY] Every monster has an origin story.

(Druid singing)

From the heavens behemoth will fall.

[JERRY] I'm over 900 years old,

but some things

are much...

much...

older.

Behold

the fall of man.

The stone of the behemoth.

It fell from the skies

to prey on the weakness of men.

Those who submit to its will

are given great power.

But there is a cost.

(echoed screams)

(foreign language chanting)

(foreign language chanting)

(foreign language chanting)

[Druid] Alright baby give us the blood!

(sacrificial woman screams)

(ethereal music)

Hello Cain.

Sorry for interrupting.

I just wanted to know what you felt like

being human again.

I'm getting used to it.

I think you're gonna be real enthralled with this thing we found.

What...

thing?

It's the daughter of Lilith.

She's got the mark.

Oh, I haven't encountered a

child of the Mistress in a millennia.

We got her waiting on you at the station.

Keep me fed, or else I will feast on you,

next.

Yes sir.

Hey, Druid.

We're still searching for some fangers.

Cain is regenerating and not at full power yet.

So you find them at all cost?

Psst.

(whispering) Dylan.

Well, we have the human with us now.

[DRUID] Is that the human that was with the fangers?

Yeah, he's a part of that group.

Kill him.

Yes, sir.

[DYLAN] Listen I'm not a fanger. Listen. Listen.

I'm not a fanger, man. Look.

Look at my teeth.

[COP] Shut the fuck up!

And get on the ground!

[DYLAN] Please, listen calm down, man.

[COP] Shut the fuck up!

Get the fuck on the ground! Now! - Calm down!

- It'll be over in a minute.

Hey Klaus, Klaus. Shoot away from the car dude.

- No, no! Please no! Please!

(neck snapping)

[DYLAN] No. Please no. Please. - Hey kid, kid, kid.

They ain't no police, all right?

Fuck!

(bone breaking) (Klaus yelling in pain)

(cop 2 screaming)

I love you.

Dylan, I would break you in two.

God, this, this...This was incredible.

Come on. Let's go.

I've never seen anything like this before.

People have been coming to this town for years,

but no one makes it out alive.

[MARIE] Yeah where is the road we need to find a way out of this place.

This is ridiculous.

[MAY] It's a cult that serves one purpose.

[MARIE] What?

To feed the one they call Cain.

Okay who's Cain?

- Why the fuck did you have that collar around your neck?

I don't know.

(May growling)

I smell food.

Oh. Are you?

- What's happening? - I smell hot food.

Oh, God.

Shit.

(May whimpering)

(May whimpering)

This little tongue of hers has the power to destroy us all.

So we have to find it.

Put it somewhere nice.

Say.

Find her, find her and bring her to me.

[DYLAN] Hey, stay low.

Stay low, okay.

All right, so, listen, this is what we're gonna do.

We're gonna go inside and get cleaned up, try to find a phone.

Who are you going to call?

We're gonna call for help.

Help? Dylan, it's just us.

Shh. Morgan.

Listen, I got this, all right?

Look, just watch me, I got this.

Fucking Craigslist roadie.

(jukebox song) ♪ Zombies on parade, oh so sweet. ♪

♪ Jack-o-lanterns glowing bright. ♪

♪ Casting shadows in the night. ♪

♪ It's Halloween and the children sing. ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing. ♪

(song continues) Uhm.

Excuse me, ma'am, can we

can we use your phone?

Ma'am?

Ma'am, are you okay?

(Dylan screams)

(Dylan screaming inside diner) Hey! Go hide over there.

Hide next to that tree.

Right over there. Hide.

(Dylan continues screaming)

Oh. I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

(Dylan screams in fear)

(biting)

(elevator ding)

[JERRY] What happened here?

Dylan, are you all right?

Morgan, we need to go.

Oh okay Jerry.

(muffled screaming)

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

Okay. This isn't the Golden Corral.

Hey, hey, you don't know where that food has been.

Hey!

You got a bit of a situation on your face.

- Where'd the girl go? - I left her outside.

It's that siren guy. - What? What's a siren?

Do you know anything?

Can I enjoy one meal in peace?

You know what, just sit, sit.

Stay, stay. Be a good girl.

Sit. Stay.

I don't know anything Jerry. - One meal in peace!

Yes, yes, please take your time.

Guns!

Get down!

[SOLDIER] Fire! What do you mean you guns?

Drop it like it's hot bitch!

[JERRY] Alright!

Dylan try not to get shot.

Check please.

[JERRY] Alright everybody out the door!

Morgan come on, let's go.

Sir I got a bogey at 6 o'clock.

He's coming in hot.

[DRUID] Is he stopping?

He is not stopping!

[DRUID] Then take him the fuck out!

(soldier screams in pain)

[KATE] Marie!

I can see her. [KATE] Marie.

Oh, shit.

(Marie grunting in pain)

She's in pain. - Where?

- All I can see is chains. And blood.

Oh my God there is a pile of teeth.

[KATE] Marie. - Blackrock. Blackrock.

I know this place.

You do? - Mhm.

I can take you.

Where are you!?

[DRUID] So this is the almighty daughter of Lilith.

Come here.

(Kate screaming in pain) No!

Look at them thangs grow back.

I'll rip your fucking face off.

(Druid laughing)

[DRUID] You ain't going to do a damn thing.

Oh really?

(slapping)

(punching)

Let's see how strong you are.

Whoo!

Hell yeah!

You know you're going to meet my master.

Fuck you!

Fuck this place!

(singing) Master.

[DRUID] Oh, you're going to be so excited.

(singing) Master.

(magical scream)

(Kate screaming in pain)

[MAY] This is it.

[JERRY] What a dump.

Tonight the fight is on! Place your bets baby!

Alright guys we got a fight going on here!

We got a fight. Place your bets. Place your bets.

Put 50K on the fanger.

- That's what I'm talking about.

What's a fanger?

It's slang for vampire.

[DRUID] Welcome. welcome.

Welcome.

Creatures of the night!

(growling)

We got something real special

set up for your viewing pleasure.

(crowd cheering)

We got a vile,

fanger!

(crowd booing)

A real life daughter from Lilith!

(crowd continues booing)

So I can say I'm pretty damn excited!

(crowd cheering)

Coming all the way from the isle of

Crete! The beast from the east.

The Wild Man!

(crowd cheers more excitedly) - Yeah!

[DRUID] For the last time...

We want the blood!

(crowd goes wild)

(creature growling)

(monster roaring)

[DRUID] Whoo!

(Kate hissing)

We really doing this?

(growling) I have no idea what that sound is.

Something wicked.

Kill her!

(monster roaring)

(roaring) - Whoo!

(Kate yells in pain)

Get her!

Yeah!

(pained roar)

What the fuck is that?

Is that a minotaur?

That's a fucking minotaur.

(patrons cheering) Yeah!

(Kate screaming)

(screaming in disbelief and shock)

(victorious roar)

Fuck this!

[DRUID] Shit!

(woman screaming) (May groaning)

(wolf howl)

(May screaming)

(bones cracking)

(growl) (scream)

(barking)

What's with May man.

(screaming)

[MARIE] Her face is coming off!

What the hell?

(howl)

What the shit is that?

- Dylan back up! Back up!

[JERRY] Time to go.

(woman screaming)

(patrons screeching)

♪ (Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows by Lesley Gore) ♪

[WOMAN] Help!

(song continues)

(song continues)

(roaring)

(song continues)

(song ends)

(howling)

- Where is Dylan? - Did you know that May was a werewolf?

Guy!

We should go. - Whoa.

(Morgan hisses)

(people screaming)

(werewolf roaring) (people screaming)

(woman screaming)

(roaring)

(police siren) (people screaming)

I'm getting too old for this shit.

(people screaming)

(man screaming)

(screaming)

(roaring)

[AUTOMATED VOICE] Warning.

[AUTOMATED VOICE] Warning.

[AUTOMATED VOICE] Warning.

(squelching)

(chanting)

(growling)

(shrieking)

(snarling)

(shrieking)

Flesh.

Life.

Do you know what preserves the order of men?

(snarling continues)

Blood.

You gotta get me outta here dude.

Oh, please I'll do whatever you want.

You should be honored. You're about to meet...

Cain.

(sacrifice yelling)

[SACRIFICE] Please don't.

Ah!

What the fuck?

[SOLDIER] Cain! Cain! Cain!

[SACRIFICE] Let me out!

Ah! No! Fuck! (eating the sacrifice)

(Sacrifice continues to scream)

(snarling) (ripping flesh)

Help me!

(growling)

(snarling)

Who dares to disturb me.

In this spiritual plane.

I do.

Cain.

I summon thee.

Something's wrong.

Why am I not whole again?

Your metamorphosis is incomplete.

You will die if you don't.

Don't what?

Tell me!

Feed.

You must

feed.

Fool.

The blood of Lillith,

rewards you with immortality.

I will not be levied by

you or Lillith.

I,

Cain.

Am reborn. - No stop!

No! Ah!

(Cain laughing sinisterly)

(screeching)

(growling)

(roaring)

(Marie grunting)

(zombies growling)

Dylan fucking figure it out.

[MARIE] What about May? - I think she's doing fine on her own.

(zombies snarling)

[MORGAN] Do it! Drive, drive, drive!

[JERRY] Hey Dylan,

Remember when you crashed that forklift?

[JERRY] Ew!

[JO] You know what, fuck these guys.

[JERRY] Use the wipers.

(zombies grunting in pain) [JO] Nice!

[JO] Holy shit!

(vampires yelling)

[MORGAN] Brace yourself!

(Jerry grunts in pain)

[MARIE] Fuck!

(townspeople screaming)

(townspeople screaming)

(horn honking)

(echoing howl)

(biting)

Keep pressure on it.

We're going to get you some help.

Can you turn me?

I'm not going to bite your neck.

I'm dying here.

It's kind of gay.

(Dylan coughs)

You can't say gay anymore Jerry.

Dylan, you are one of the funniest motherfuckers I have ever met.

(gasping)

I'm...I...

Sorry, kid, I just don't think I have another one in me.

Jo, would you?

[DYLAN] Thanks Jo.

Marie?

I can't, I can't.

Fuck it.

(Dylan yelling in pain)

It's okay.

Go get the girl. Okay, I got Dylan.

[JERRY] You're going to be okay, kid.

(Dylan coughing) [JO] You're okay.

[JERRY] Let's go find that girl.

Move.

Who the fuck are you?

Where's Cain?

He's not- (grunting in pain)

[SOLDIER] Ah fuck! Shit!

- One.

Two. - Blood chamber!

He's in the blood chamber!

(soldiers yelling)

(woman screaming)

(howling)

[JERRY] Trunk or treat.

You're only supposed to take one.

But it's the honor system.

You think this is too much.

No, I think it works.

(gunshots)

(intense synth music)

(gunshot)

You have to feed to heal.

- No. No!

(biting)

You ever seen a pig fly?

[SOLDIER] Go, go, go!

Druid.

I have threats from the south and eastside of the compound.

Cover left flank.

Protect Cain at all cost.

- Move it!

Go! Go!

(heavy rock music)

(magical scream)

[JERRY] No, don't get up.

[JERRY] You're going to want to let that paint dry.

Hey, don't worry, honey.

We're running out of time.

Come on.

I don't remember killing these ones.

Attention!

Attention traitor. Y'all know him is Jerry.

I know him as Jeremiah from a long, long time ago.

He abandoned his company and left them high and dry.

Now, today he walks in here with his bruised,

battered, and bloody bitches.

I just got one message for y'all.

I'm coming.

For everybody.

Hey fuck you!

Alright,

which way are we going?

Hey, Jerry, she wants to go that way.

- Sounds good to me.

(angry yelling)

A real Van Helsing.

In the flesh.

Stop the threat at the south tower.

I hate Van Helsing!

Come on!

(magical scream)

(magical screaming)

(Morgan screams in pain)

Die you bastard!

(angry yelling)

[MORGAN] Alright alright. You got him.

You're good.

Let's go.

[JERRY] Talk about heavy metal.

Where is it?

What are you looking for?

Hi fangers.

I want this to be fair so I ain't gonna scream.

(Marie grunts in pain)

We're the Virginia bitches.

[DRUID] You were.

[MORGAN] Jerry!

Come on now. Let me see that spark.

I'm going to rip your fucking throat out.

Fuck you.

Aw. There she is.

You know you can't take it-

(biting)

You bitch!

(Marie spitting)

[DRUID] Oh Cain!

(Jerry growling)

[DRUID] Cain!

[MORGAN] Fuck this place.

(Cain screeching)

(beeping)

(Cain screeching)

(Cain screeching)

Come on!

(Cain screeching)

[JERRY] We need to keep moving.

(screeching)

You hear that?

(screeching)

[JERRY] Fuck get down!

It's coming back.

(Cain screeching)

[JERRY] This ain't gonna work but I'll give it a shot.

Here, boy.

[SOLDIER] No!

(bone cracking) (Jerry yelling in pain)

[DYLAN] Hey guys!

I'm a fanger now!

Shit, Morgan!

Why did you just do that?

Do what?

You just risked your life for all of us.

I love you.

(stomach churning)

(Morgan vomiting)

(pained coughs)

Oh, wow.

That does not belong to you anymore!

You murdered my baby!

(magical screaming)

(magical scream continues)

[MORGAN] I need blood.

Here, here.

Here. Ow a lot of teeth.

Like 'em.

- Fucking mint. - Yeah.

Oh, shit.

Guys! Jerry! Jerry needs help. Jerry!

Come on. - Come on. Jerry!

Oh! Oh, God.

Don't worry, I'm not that dead yet.

So you're a fanger now?

Yeah! The fucking rush is amazing.

At least you didn't have to sleep in a graveyard.

- Well. Not exactly.

Hey, who are you?

I'm Rip

Van Helsing.

Why did you help us back there?

- I'm on a mission. - What fucking mission?

I'm not here for you. I come for him.

There's a bounty on his head and I came to collect.

[MORGAN] I don't like you.

I don't fucking care.

Guys stop. Look.

What the fuck?

He's a warlock.

(Cain laughing)

There's only one way to take them out.

You gotta go for the eyes.

Yeah, this is weird as fuck.

I would like to get back on the road.

Thank you.

[MARIE] Yeah.

♪ Call me superficial but I stare ♪

♪ at the vampire girl ♪

♪ It's not the mascara. ♪

Cheers!

♪ It's not the tight dress. ♪

♪ It's a look in the eyes ♪

♪ that's gonna scare you to death. ♪

♪ Vampire girl. Vampire girl. ♪

(song continues)

[JERRY] Alright seat belts. Let's go!

Go Dylan!

Oh my God!

[JERRY] Well...

Time to leave this party.

We'll revisit this band thing after we have time to regroup.

Virginia Bitches out.

How was your trip?

Mr. Van Helsing.

Wait here.

Your trip was a success. It would seem.

Yeah you could say that.

What gifts have you brought for me

young Van Helsing?

[CAIN] Where am I?

Let me out!

Let me out!

The head of the warlock

known as Cain.

As you requested.

Who is that?

Your payment awaits.

Thanks. - Who's the girl?

She was with a group of vampires that I encountered

while I was on the task.

[CAIN] Who are you? What?

Do you know who I am?

(Cain coughing sickly)

Call me,

Dracula.

Do you know where to find them?

Yeah.

Yeah, I do.

(heavy metal music)