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Taxi, taxi.

Excuse me. Do you have a light?

And an extra cigarette?

Thanks.

There's nothing like a morning cigarette.

Coffee and cigarette

You wouldn't believe this dream I had.

I dreamt I was back home with the missus

and I'm sitting in the kitchen next to her.

Drinking my coffee,

Smoking a cigarette.

And the missus says,

Bunny why don't you stay home from work today.

We'll be together.

Just the two of us, like this.

She's not alive any more, but a coffee would be nice,

just like in the dream.

Listen. You can have all my money.

I only have 50...

Hey...

If it's not enough I'll go with you to an ATM,

but please don't kill me. I have two children.

Man, relax.

I was just going to ask you for a buck for coffee.

I wasn't robbing you. This isn't even mine.

Oh, so may I ask whose it is?

I don't know. I found it under my cardboard this morning.

You scared the shit out of me

So, how about it sir?

Would you give me a buck for a cup of coffee?

Oh so that's your drill.

You scare the shit out of people and then they're so grateful

you're not really robbing them that they give you the money.

Mate, you've got it all wrong.

Wrong huh?

So why the hell did you take that gun?

Actually I thought to myself,

I'd ask the first person I saw for a coffee and a cigarette.

And if that person said no?

Then I might as well join the missus.

So, how about that coffee?

Or what? You'll shoot yourself?

You know, in my field you see a lot of manipulation

but you're the king!

Is that a yes?

What you're doing here is complete...

mean completely unfair.

If you have to shoot yourself it's tragic,

but it has nothing to do with me.

I'm not responsible.

You're absolutely right.

Here's what we're going to do.

You're going to put the gun down

and ask for that buck like a normal homeless person.

And I'll answer what I answer

with no connection to your situation

or this gun or anything else.

OK.

Ok what?

Would you

please give me a dollar for a cup of coffee?

I'm sorry.

If I give you the money I'll feel manipulated.

I'm just going to go now, ok?

Ok.

Maybe tomorrow.

Thank you anyway.

You're welcome.

This city, everybody's crazy I swear to god.

What's all this blood? Are you ok?

What are you doing here?

I was cleaning the waffle maker.

What happened at the interview?

I didn't get the job.

Dave!

They said I didn't have the necessary experience.

Is that your blood?

How much experience do you need for telemarketing?

That's what they said.

And what did you say?

Thank you anyway.

Thank you anyway!

Didn't I tell you that nice guys always finish last

So, whose blood is this?

A nice guy.

I don't know his name.

I have to get to work Dave.

Do you feel like walking me out?

Passive aggressive.

What's not to understand

Dad, I'm sorry about the interview.

Well what does it even mean?

Passive, "as in even if I live to be 100 I'll never wash a cup.'

And aggressive as in "I'd rather eat my own nuts than

have dinner with your parents.'

Oh, the mouth on her..

She reminds me of your mother.

I really think you should ask your brother

to put in a good word with his boss.

It just seems so embarrassing going into people's homes.

Taking their stuff.

You're talking as if he's a burglar Dave.

Repossessing is a respectable job.

Oh yes, still..

Well, just think about it.

Ok. And in the meantime

I'll go over the mail, vacuum and cook us dinner.

How does crepes with cream and truffles sound?

Great!

I will need ten bucks for truffle shavings though.

I didn't know truffles shaved.

Nice move.

Thank you.

Have you ever wondered, what's the meaning of life?

Why do we exist

The answer to this vexing question is now within your reach.

You'll find it in a small amazing booklet

which will explain in easy to follow,

simple terms, your reason for being.

Don't patronise me!

The booklet printed on the finest paper

contains illuminating exquisite pictures,

and can be yours for a mere $9.99.

I'm not screaming.

Yes you are.

I'm not!

I'm just talking very loud.

I don't get it.

I said I wanted to marry you.

No, you said you were willing to marry me.

It's not that I'm against it,

I just don't think that it's important.

Marriage isn't important

A baby isn't important.

A career isn't important.

What goes on in the world isn't important.

What is important!

Marriage, kids.

Listen to yourself.

You sound like an old maid.

Ron, I am an old maid

We don't all manage to stay 15.

Are you alright?

Yes, why?

You've been crying.

No, it's just allergies.

I know how it is.

I have a lot of those, especially to cats.

Not the cats themselves, their hair actually.

Not even their hair, but the saliva on their hair.

It's a shame because I'd really like to have one.

They're so cuddly.

You ARE crying. Here, have a cookie.

Soccer Jack, passes from the left

Let me help you.

I'm fine thank you.

Hi Dave, would you like a cookie?

Sorry Mr Kweller I have to run to the post office.

Have one for the road, they're very good.

Thanks.

You know, I once had a cousin who worked for the post office,

be wasn't exactly my cousin.. I'm sorry.

Maybe you can tell me about your cousin some other time.

That's the thing.

He wasn't really my cousin.

His grandmother and my grandmother were sisters.

I'll have two sub-zero mocha-blizzard extravagances,

one coke and two of your gigantic chunky chocolate chip surprises.

Sure, no problem.

Take-away.

Do you want one?

They're gigantic.

$8.50 please. Thank you very much.

Can I have one more of your mega

super sweet teary-eyed smiles.

They are really great.

Look, you seem really nice for a repossessor... Lenny.

But I'd rather be alone.

Why, because I'm a repossessor?

Come on. We're not that bad

We're just like Robin Hood, only in reverse.

What's your name? Sorry.

Good morning, what can I get you?

An unplanned child.

Oh no, not him.

Mr Kweller! How you doing?

Ah, you're the Peck's boy.

I just saw your brother.

Mr Kweller, have you met my fiancee...

what did you say your name was?

Actually we have met.

I saw her in the lift earlier.

She was crying.

Yeah. She's very emotional.

Sometimes I think we're not going to make it.

Are you leaving too?

I must, duty honks.

Say hello to your parents for me. I'm sorry.

I mean, to your father.

There's no need to apologise Mr Kweller.

You're not the one Mum ran away with.

Zacky, I got you something.

Soccer Jack?

No. Not Soccer Jack.

But I'll tell you what we'll do.

Each time you finish your milk I'll give you

50 cents to put in this piggy bank.

And when it's full of coins you'll get your

what's his name action figure. Is it a deal?

I know you're disappointed now but I'm doing it for your sake.

How come?

Because in life

you don't always get what you want.

You have to work hard for it

Kids who don't learn that grow up to be criminals.

Because they're used to getting everything the easy way.

But remember

if you throw up - no money.

Congrats! Who's the lucky bitch?

Easy Bisley, don't insult the man.

Why insult? I meant a hot bitch

Where?

So when's the wedding?

No wedding. She just left

Even better.

Just say the word and Drazan here will arrange for

three surfer babes who will get in line to blow you.

Who are you?

Who am I?

Did you hear that Stanton?

Tell the man who I am.

Why, he's Bisley.

Who?

King of Banana Beach.

I'm Scuba Stanton and this is Drazan.

We go to uni with him.

Do you mind not smoking in here.

Michelle's allergic.

Who the fuck is Michelle?

My fiancee.

Not any more.

Hey, can I see the ring?

Thanks.

Isn't she beautiful?

You really love her.

Hey Drazan, give it here.

Bisley one, bitch ex-girlfriend zero.

What the fuck are you doing?

What's eating you?

Pick up that glass, now!

Or what lover boy?

Relax man, he didn't mean it.

I don't care.

He broke it, he'll pick it up.

I say let the cards decide.

Four rounds of poker.

If the big guy wins you make like a cleaning lady

and pick up the glass.

And if I win?

We'll think of something.

The Peck's world famous crepe... and with cream...

And?

And I spoke with Lenny about the job.

That's great news.

They have a repossession in our building tomorrow.

His boss said I can try out.

Wow! The Peck boys riding together.

I'm telling you, if I was 20 years younger

I'd quit my job and come work with you.

Imagine the three of us in a van together.

It's only a try out

I'm sure you'll do great partner.

I ordered this book today, about the meaning of life.

The catalogue says...

How much was it?

$9.99.

That's pretty cheap for nothing.

You haven't even read it.

And I thought your mum

was the only one in the world who believed in those catalogues.

And look where it got her.

Where?

I don't know.

You'd think she'd at least send a post card.

Ah, it's from the gas company.

Hello.

Good day. I'm calling from Quick-Pulse Surveys.

Do you have time to answer a few questions?

Quick-Pulse! That's a beautiful name

Thank you sir.

Albert.

My name is Albert Kweller.

Ok, Mr Kweller. How often do you travel?

Overseas or domestic?

Either.

Oh I'm sorry. I'm not much of a traveller.

The last time I left home was 41 years ago.

Are the rest of your questions about travelling too?

I'm afraid so.

My wife could have answered all of them.

She really loved travelling and hiking and dancing.

Me, I can't hold a rhythm.

But my wife!

You should have seen her dance.

You can't of course. She died.

Hit by a tram.

The driver cried like a baby.

They took his tram licence off him for life.

Well not that it matters.

They don't use trams any more.

Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you.

No, no, you didn't bother me.

I really liked talking to you

I'm a jerk, I'm a jerk, I'm a jerk

Another round?

No more cards.

I meant beer.

Check out the hot chick on TV

First Bank.

When it comes to banks, think First,

because life doesn't give you a second chance.

Put the gun down.

No, don't!

I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep.

I was, I had a bad dream.

What did you dream about?

Bad things.

Enough of those to go around lately.

Goodnight son.

Dad, don't you ever ask yourself about life.

You're a good boy Dave.

You have a big day tomorrow. Sleep tight.

As we're nearing the end of our broadcast

I'd like to leave you with this message:

Speak and the Lord will listen.

Open your heart and pray to the Lord and he will answer your prayers.

You're listening to GOD Radio, 91.6FM

Goodnight, and God bless.

May I? It's very windy in your stair well.

I think I'm getting bronchitis again.

Please come in.

Can I get you something warm?

Yeah, 12 ounce medium rare steak with chips and salad, or a tea.

I have Earl Grey. Peach. Camomile.

Which ever. As long as it's hot.

Hey!

Sorry.

Are you an angel?

No, I'm a giant talking pigeon.

Is there a god?

Is there a god?

Are you one of those atheists, nihilistic good for nothing left wing Communists?

God, no. I was just very curious about him.

Is he tall? I had a vision, once

Tea first, visions later. I'm dying here.

Ron, hi, it's me. It's really early.

I guess you're sleeping. I'm not.

Call me? Bye.

Message deleted

And there are no poor people in heaven?

Poor people? Everyone in heaven has a limo.

And who drives their limos?

All sorts of people, especially foreigners - without visas.

And the houses? How do the houses look?

Have you ever been to the Sunshine Coast?

No.

You must.

It's something else.

And heaven?

Exactly like the Sunshine Coast.

To be honest that's a bit disappointing

That's because you've never been there.

And the people?

Are they lonely?

It's a real shame you don't have doughnuts.

The cookies aren't tasty? Tasty? Tasty?

It's not a matter of taste it's a matter of volume.

Do you want me to go get doughnuts?

No, I wouldn't want to impose. I'll go.

Would you happen to have five bucks?

Maybe ten. I'll get cigarettes too.

You'll be right back?

So help me God.

When will you be back?

In a while. I have some errands to run.

Good deeds and such?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Next time you try off something like this

I'll see to it I'll see to it that you get fired.

Come on Sammy, the man was blind.

How could I take his TV?

Fuck him. He's blind. He doesn't need a TV.

OK, mate. My mistake.

Lenny. If you want to be a professional...

OK, I've got it.

You know what your problem is, Lenny?

Who the fuck are you?

It's my brother.

You said he could come try out with us today.

Hi. I'm Dave.

Did I say that?

Now, where does this loser live?

Hope it's not someone we know.

Hey, do you know where Marcus Portman lives?

Do you have a light?

And a cigarette?

Huh?

Give me a cigarette and I'll tell you where he lives.

And if I didn't have cigarettes you wouldn't tell me?

Wow, you're the sharpest tool in the shed

Menthol, what are you, a woman.

Give it back!

Chill out Sammy, it's not worth it.

Yeah fatso, listen to your friend.

Hey kid, do you have a real cigarette?

Sorry.

Next time we meet

it'll be in your living room.

I'll repossess stuff you didn't even know you had.

I'll peel off your bathroom ceramic tile by tile, you hear?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, look Sammy. Portman. 6B.

Who is it?

Shit, it's like smoking chewing gum.

Am I right?

Do you know this man?

Didn't I tell you not to talk to strangers?

Are you listening?

And throw that away Zack. It's dirty.

So, you got yourself in big trouble, huh?

Not me, a friend. I co-signed his loan.

A co-signer? Man, you are in big trouble.

Do you mind?

No, no, no. Help yourself.

Dave?

And there's also fruit in the bottom drawer.

Um...eat some. It will make the fridge lighter on the way down.

Oh, that's very kind. I hadn't thought of that.

It's flat! Coke?

Can't you see I'm working.

How many inches is the screen?

Screen? Which screen?

The TV screen, in the box in the living room.

22 inches. But you can't take it, it's not mine.

It's a gift for my father, he's turning 80.

Did you buy it?

Yes, I did, but...

But my friend. If you can't pay your debts, don't buy presents.

Excuse me. It's Mr Portman's dad's birthday.

Shut up.

Lenny... how about you move your arse

and start taking things down to the truck.

Maybe you could get your dad a book about the meaning of life instead.

I just ordered one.

They're not as expensive as you'd think.

Can you please come with me to the living room.

What's this?

It's my magic trunk.

Right!

I new you were familiar.

You're Marcus Pokus.

You were on that TV show with the curly haired guy and the dog.

Tulip! Woof!

Oh, they're here, thank you.

Hey!

Hey!

This isn't my microwave.

I bet yours is much nicer.

Are you from Samson Movers?

Sorry.

I can't believe how late they are.

Never trust movers.

And repossessors?

We're always on time.

What do you think you're doing?

Alla shasham,

alla shashoom.

Wow!

You bring that TV back right away, you hear.

I've already made out a receipt for it.

What's your name?

Dave.

Keep and eye on this creep.

I'm going to the police.

If anything else disappears write it down.

With the unicorn?

No, I haven't seen that one.

But from the second I saw you I could tell that you're a super model.

I'd better call again, to find out where my stuff is.

Can I have your number?

My number? You don't even know my name.

I was going to call you and ask you what your name is.

I want to see him laugh

when his cell mate decides he needs a wife.

Hey Sammy, have you met ah...?

You'll have to call to find out.

Come on, we're going to the police.

Wait, Sammy.

Hey mate, this is going to take us all day.

Jeez, what's in this thing.

Buggered if I know.

Lenny!

Wanna see a cool trick?

Drazan I told you a thousand times

fart torching is very dangerous.

No, no, something else.

Good one!

Hello.

Hi, I'm calling about the car.

Sorry.

Wrong number.

Sorry. Thanks.

You're welcome. Bye.

Aha, you thought it was her.

Don't be an arse.

Fuck her. You've got us.

Here you go. Wish your dad a happy birthday for me.

Thanks.

Hey Marcus.

Alla shasham, alla shashoom.

Excuse me, do you know where Dave Peck lives?

I'm Dave.

Sign here please.

Thanks.

Wow!

Wow!

You know what this book is?

Fuck off.

Thanks Dad.

It's so simple.

Dad, I read the book.

What book. Why are you back so early?

The book about the meaning of life.

What's so funny?

That people always think that there's just one meaning

when actually there are six.

Dave, look at me.

Did they fire you?

I don't think so. Maybe.

Why, what did you do?

Well nothing. I helped this guy from the sixth floor, Mr Pokus.

And that's why they fired you? Don't lie to me.

You know, the book says that people never lie.

It's just that sometimes reality...

Stop that, right. Stop it! Where's Lenny?

I think he went to the police.

The police!

Is he in trouble?

No, no. It's just that he went with his boss

to press charges against Mr Pokus.

Pokus? That's the guy you helped.

Yes.

Dave, did you do anything illegal?

Maybe.

Maybe?

No, It's nothing like that

I don't think I want to hear any more. But..

I'm gonna take a shower.

I'm bored.

Why?

Now that you've put the queens down it's starting to get intriguing.

I'm depressed.

Do you want a cup of tea?

I want something exciting to happen.

Hello.

Good evening. I'm calling for Quick-Pulse Surveys.

Do you have the time to answer a few questions for me?

Go for it.

Assuming there's no substantial price difference would you prefer an ozone safe product?

No.

Are you in any way biased against cosmetic companies who experiment on animals?

No.

Would you consider boycotting a company that operates sweat shops?

Guess.

No?

Oh baby baby.

You must be the quickest jumping bean in the race.

Thank you. I just have two more questions.

I have a question for you.

If I stopped eating meat would you hide my salami?

I'm feeling a little better.

Who is it?

It's me.

Lenny!

What's your name kid?

I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to talk to strangers.

Nice flowers huh?

Who are they for?

This model. First date.

Model?

It's like a girl...

only, prettier.

Uni years are the best. It's all downhill from there

That's why you have to be extra careful not to graduate.

I never finished. I'm missing a couple of courses.

I told you. He's the man.

First year engineering and...something else.

En-gen-eering.

We've got a mid semester exam tomorrow. We'd better go study.

En-gen-eering.

You'll be back tomorrow, alright?

You bring the beer, we'll bring more beer.

No, I don't know what the meaning of life is,

but whatever it is it's not about getting your big brother into trouble.

I didn't.

Sure you didn't.

You should have seen Sammy with the cops.

He didn't even have the receipts to file charges.

And who had the receipts?

Listen Lenny. You're...

Look, I know you're a good person,

but getting fucked over by a good person hurts just the same.

How can I stay mad at someone who makes such good cheese cake!

Dad isn't talking to me.

He's been in the shower over and hour now.

Don't worry. One bite of this wonder cake, he'll forgive you.

You're not going to finish it?

I'm supposed to have dinner in 15 minutes How do I look?

Good. Good enough for a super model?

Think positive! Okay, I'm leaving.

Hey, you can't go before you hear the meaning of life.

Hear it, I'm on my way to meet it.

It's thirty seconds 'til full time.

The Socceroos are trailing three to four.

All eyes are on Soccer Jack.

He's stealing the ball

Passing two defenders.

Jack is nearing the goal.

The crowd jumps to its feet. Will he do it?

Time for bed Zacky.

Hello.

Good evening. I'm calling from Quick-Pulse Surveys.

Do you have the time to answer a few questions for me?

Sure.

What is your current job?

I'm unemployed at the moment

How would you define your current mood?

Excellent, good, neutral, bad or awful?

I guess I'm ok.

Ok? So I'm putting down good.

Is there a job you would prefer to your current job?

I'm unemployed.

Right, I'm sorry.

What job would you like to have?

I wanted to work as a phone surveyor.

I said I was sorry. No need to be sarcastic.

No, really. I had a job interview a couple of days ago

but they said I wasn't qualified

Trust me, you wouldn't want this job.

But why?

I really like talking on the phone with people,

asking them all sorts of questions. What's your name?

Camille.

Hi Camille. I'm Dave.

Camille, can I ask you some more questions?

Have you ever wondered about the meaning of life?

You're funny.

No, no. Seriously. I discovered it in a book.

It's very simple. It all began with the very first molecule.

Listen, I would love to hear it but if my supervisor

catches me having a personal call I'll get into trouble.

Ah, but it's far from being personal

It applies to everyone.

I guess. But I'm not sure she'll be able to make the distinction.

It was nice talking to you. Bye.

Bye.

Ouch, ouch, have mercy.

Helga wins. You lose.

Another game?

No, I need time to mourn the old guy.

Something to drink?

Excellent idea.

So, you don't believe in solids, huh?

I've been anorexic since childhood.

But my contract with the agency prevents me from getting psychiatric help.

Really?

No.

How do you like your steak?

Hi, it's Tanita Sparks calling.

I'd like to order two Carnivore Supremes.

Lenny was here. He says hi.

He was on his way to a date.

Want a piece of cheese cake to go with your coffee?

Maybe later.

More wonderful books from our publisher.

Tired of spending a fortune on plumbers?

Now you can swim like a dolphin.

From an Olympic medallist

and a world famous Norwegian neurologist..

People won't listen to you?

Your family, peers and acquaintances don't understand you?

We've got the solution.

No more miscommunication with those who matter

For $9.99 only, you can become the most understood person on earth.

Dad?

What

Nothing.

I'm sorry Ishmael.

The steak...

What?

...was overcooked.

I was looking for a flaw in our date.

It was almost perfect.

Almost?

It's my fault.

My skin, it's very sensitive to stubble.

Do you have a razor?

Ready for school?

Good morning.

Good morning.

Great cake.

I'm sorry about yesterday.

It's not your fault.

Maybe you were right.

You know, when I was in the army, my lieutenant used to say:

there's no such thing as a bad soldier, only a bad commander.

I guess the same goes for fathers. And husbands.

Oh, Dad.

Raising you and your brother after your mother left me wasn't easy.

But I'm not...

I'm not looking for excuses.

You did a great job.

I look at you and your brother, both single

one unemployed, the other...

And I always say, repossessing is a respectable job

but I wished higher for the both of you.

Dad, you're not really looking at things from the right perspective.

Life is not about..

What can you do?

Your dad's old and foolish and late for work.

I'll see you tonight

Go on.

This is my piggy bank.

I don't know his name yet.

Every time after I drink my milk

I get money to put in his back.

He's nothing like my other toys.

He's much calmer.

He doesn't have batteries and you can't fill him with water.

Well you can but it's not a good idea.

Dad says he's educational because this way

I won't grow up to be a thug.

But I think the coolest thing about him is his smile.

Look!

I'll show you. I'll put 50 cents in his back and he smiles

like this!

I put 20 cents in and look,

he smiles exactly the same.

And now for the best part. I'm putting no money in at all,

and he's still smiling!

Hey Ron, wait, wait.

Do I know you?

Lenny! Jim Peck's son.

You live right next door to my dad. Have a cookie.

Right.

Wow! It does look weird

But what can you do.

My girlfriend, she likes me smooth.

And you know what they say, without love, you're nothing.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Fiancee.

She sexy?

She left me. You know what they say?

Good things never last.

Hi there.

If I can't come to the phone it means I'm somewhere wonderful,

doing something really really fun.

Leave me a message and I'll tell you all about it,

unless it's something really...

Did you hear that?

Hear what?

How can you people stand living like this?

Like how?

Cooped up in these tiny flats hearing

what's going on with the neighbours.

This is a good size apartment.

Wait 'til you see the open luxurious spaces in heaven.

I don't mind small spaces.

But do you think that I will get to see my wife there?

Off the record, I don't think so.

But why?

I don't know. My wife went ten years before me

and since then I ate so much shit, I tell you.

But I did my best to be a good person.

I was sure she went to heaven.

I had to do everything I could to join her.

And then instead of getting to see her

I got a pair of wings and some perspective.

It is somewhat small.

Somewhat? It's tighter than a sardine's arse hole

Well we can go up onto the roof if you want. The view is nice.

I used to go up there with my wife to relax.

What are you thinking about?

Work!

You don't look like someone who's thinking about hauling a refrigerator.

You're thinking about me.

Yep. I was thinking about you

What about me?

I don't have the words.

I thought you always have words.

Me too.

Let's start with the details then.

What's your favourite part of my body?

Your eyes.

That's corny.

It's true.

This isn't working.

God this city is ugly.

What?

You've never been to heaven have you?

Can you believe it. They sent me straight here.

So why did you say it was just like the Sunshine Coast?

Because I've been to the Sunshine Coast, on my honeymoon.

Even their tap water smells nice, not like this skin rash of a city.

But earlier you said it was nice up here.

Earlier I had cucumbers on my eyes.

Why don't you fly a little. I bet it's very relaxing.

Nah, people might see me.

Come on. I'd love to see you flying. Do it for me.

That's fine. I bet you can't fly anyway.

Sure I can. I just don't want anybody to see me.

Oh, look there.

So, what do you like about my eyes?

You were great in Show and Tell.

I wish I knew your name.

I heard you breathing on my answering machine, you know.

You weren't home

You were out at great places doing all sorts of fun things.

That was just a message.

I'm really sorry. I want to grow up.

Don't.

You've been very helpful Sir.

Can I go now?

Sure, you had a rough day.

Hey buddy, can you spare some change?

Go on mate. Oh, good on you.

Hey mate, it's too much...

Where you going? It's your drivers licence.

Excuse me officer. Yes.

I want to confess to the murder of...

Murder?

Wow, I don't even know his name.

The angel?

That's the thing.

He wasn't really an angel.

He was just a liar with wings.

Which ever. He fell from the sky.

Case closed. I pushed him.

Sir, I've seen it a hundred times before

Whenever there's a corpse someone always feels guilty.

But I am guilty.

Are you a believer, Sir?

Yes.

I'm sure that God forgives you.

Have a good night.

Careful Kweller.

Ready for bed?

Ah, what are you drawing?

That's you, me, and Mum on a boat trip.

That's nice.

Dad, you're making Kweller nauseous.

He's not making any noise Zacky.

You know what that means?

Tomorrow you'll get your Soccer Jack action figure.

That's great Dad. Just put Kweller down.

You're making him feel bad

The big moment has arrived Zacky

Are you excited?

Sure. But, what's the hammer for?

It's for you.

Just be careful.

Zack?

I'm careful Dad.

Well break the pig open.

Kweller!

Kweller? Yeah, go on, break it.

You deserve the doll.

You worked hard enough for it.

I don't want Soccer Jack.

Kweller is good enough.

You don't understand. It's really ok

It's educational. Come on. I'll break it for you.

Dad!

Yes Zacky?

50 cents tomorrow to put in his back

after the milk, and then we break him. Tomorrow.

Another 50 cents, for a rainy day?

Yes. A rainy day.

Hey, you're reached Lenny's mobile.

Yeah, the brand new shiny model with the car gadget thing,

so eat your heart out. Beep!

Hey,

it's Dave. It's after eight and Dad isn't back from work yet

It's probably nothing.

I bet he'll show up soon.

Ok, um...give me a call when you get this. Bye.

Someone left you a message.

Ah ha.

What if it's important?

It's not.

I love touching you, just like a baby's bottom.

What?

Nothing.

Your eyelash.

Then make a wish.

Lenny? Lenny, where are you?

I'm in the bathroom.

Don't worry Kweller.

It's only a tiny jump.

We'll do it on the count of three.

One...

Three!

Bye Kweller.

Pigs love parks, especially ones with lakes.

You'll be happy here.

Dad?

A package for Dave Peck.

Thanks.

There you go.

Thanks.

Have a nice day.

Dear Valued Customer.

Unfortunately we are going out of business.

Consequently the book you've ordered,

How To Make People Listen has been out of print for a while.

We're reimbursing you $9.99

and sending you a copy of another of our wonderful books.

Swim Like a Dolphin!

Mr Kweller! Let me help you with that.

Oh, thank you.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the Sunshine Coast

I'm sure you'll have a good time.

Are you going to meet someone there?

Maybe. Is everything ok with you?

My dad's missing.

I saw him yesterday evening.

He gave his wallet to a homeless man.

Did you see where he went?

Towards the park.

Dad!

Hi Dave. Come sit next to your dad.

Feed the ducks.

You were here all night?

No, no. Too cold.

I slept in the tool shed and in the morning the gardener came.

He gave me some bread.

Are you ok?

I don't know. Can't laugh.

I remember once your mum and I went to the park to feed the ducks.

It was so much fun. And now I don't feel a damn thing.

Well maybe the ducks..

It's not the ducks. It's everything.

You know my office. Thirty years, no windows.

I know life is supposed to be full of joy and sorrow.

It's just that the joy part...

Don't say that. Let's just do something fun.

Like what?

Anything. There are a million fun things to do.

Name one.

"Take the edges out of your life with Doctor Nabotny's revolutionary bone removal system.

This almost painless technique will smooth..."

Painless! Huh!

I wouldn't say painless.

You're such a ninny Max.

You're a tough mother fucker now.

But I bet when they took out your rib cage you cried like a baby

The skull is the worst

They pull it through one of the nostrils you know.

No, I didn't realise that, no.

If you're stressing out about the nostril bit

and you're not a CHEAP WHINY WUSS

you can pay a little extra and they just zap it out with a laser.

Yeah? But even with the laser and everything,

why would anyone want to do that?

Love.

Back and forth, like a whip through the water.

Son, I don't think it's working.

No, Dad. I think you just need to

loosen your knees and breathe through the nose.

Come on! Try it.

Don't you have in one of these books of yours something a little less physical?

Yeah, I have the one on the meaning of life

I can read from it for you.

Breathe through your nose.

Wings?

Yes. But he fell like a ton of bricks.

You'd think someone with wings wouldn't have that problem.

You don't believe me.

Hon, can you get the cheese?

Oh yeah, those little match boxes

where you kept your eye drops fell when I took the butter out.

So I threw them away.

What, the beers?

No, not the beers silly. The bottles you kept in the...

All three cases?

Oh! The guys will kill me.

Which guys will kill you?

They were imported from Belgium.

Ron, I'm sure they weren't beers.

They were eye drops.

How do you know!

Did you taste them?

Ron, have you been smoking pot again?

One small joint.

A really really small joint.

All three cases?

Yep.

And she really called you a delusional fucker?

I've never seen her that angry.

One expensive lay. Hope it was worth it.

Fuck the beers.

At least now she's gone for good.

Calls for a party!

Hey D.J. Put something good on.

Did you see that?

Yeah

That wasn't bad!