Original subtitles

Hey, Jack! I've got 'em!

- Hey? - Your tickets.

- I managed to get 'em for ya! - Shh! It's supposed to be a surprise!

Keep your voice down! I'll be up in a minute!

Right.

What you doing here? You're supposed to be working.

In a minute. I'm busy.

What on earth have you done to your bike?

It's dead trendy. All the mods have got mirrors on the front of their scooters.

- But this isn't a scooter. - I know.

But it'll have to do until I get one. Then I can go to Brighton.

Brighton? That's a heck of a way to push a scooter.

Not that sort of scooter.

A motor scooter. All the mods have got 'em.

- But you're not a mod, Wilfred. - Not now, maybe.

But soon. All I need is me pork pie hat, me parka and a pair of Hush Puppies.

Can't you make do with an anorak, plimsolls and your bobble hat?

Mum, I'd look stupid.

I'm saying nothing.

- Now what you doing? - Adding the finishing touch.

- An engine? - No.

I'm fixing a tiger tail to me aerial.

It's not a real one, of course. It's off me Davy Crockett hat.

You daft beggar.

Heck. Where'd it go? Did you see where it landed?

No, I didn't. Now stop messing about and get on with your work.

Vroom, vroom. Aaaaah!

'Eck!

Hatley Station. Station master's office.

Yes, good morning, Mr Orkindale.

Yes?

Really? Why, what happened?

I see. Yes. Yes, I understand.

Well, Arnold and Ralph are due to change shift at 11 .05. I'm sorry, Mr Orkindale.

Touch of tummy trouble.

Yes. Yes, of course. Yes.

Friday, 10am.

Yes, of course. Yes, I'll make sure he knows. Thank you. Goodbye.

- Good morning, Harry. - Morning, Vera.

I've brought you some Bramleys off of my tree.

- Ta. - Anything interesting in the paper?

No, no. Nothing, really, no.

Ta.

So what are you so engrossed in?

My goodness! Just look at her!

She's got her dress on backwards!

And all her frontages is exposed.

It's the latest Paris fashion, innit? It's called the topless look.

Yeah, it's all the rage in France.

Well, what do you expect of a country that eats frogs and snails?

You wouldn't catch me wearing that.

Thank Gawd for that.

- How do? - Jack, what do you make of that, mate?

Blimey!

Honestly! Haven't you men got anything better to do

than to stand there oglishing?

- Not at the moment, no. - Neither have I.

Well, I think it's completely phonographic.

- You got my tickets, then? - Yes, I've got your tickets, yes.

I had to pull a few strings to get these an' all, I can tell you.

"Oliver in its third great year,

at the New Theatre, 8th August."

Thanks, Harry. May will be pleased.

It's our anniversary and I thought I'd do something special for her.

- Money no object. - They're 30 bob.

30 bob? Right.

Each.

Each? It says 15 shillings on the ticket.

- Who did you buy 'em off, Fagin? - Haven't you heard of booking charges?

Booking charges? It's more like daylight robbery. Here.

The bells! The bells!

You know, I swear that son of mine gets dafter by the minute.

He wants to be a mod and get a motor scooter.

I've only just taken the stabilisers off his bike.

Kids! Who'd have 'em?

May?

I'm sorry, May. Did you never have a bike of your own?

- It's not that, Ethel. - Well, what, then?

- I'm late. - Don't worry. I'll help you catch up.

You do the sugar and I'll butter some bread.

No, I don't mean that. I don't mean I'm late.

I mean...

...I'm late, you know.

You're late!

You mean you might be up the...

in the...

Well, that's good news, in't it?

Or not. Come on. Come on. Come and sit down.

- So when did you find out? - Well, I don't know for sure.

I'm seeing Dr Willis tomorrow for the results of me test.

- What's Jack said? - He doesn't know yet.

- And you mustn't tell him. - I won't. Scout's honour.

- I mean it. You mustn't tell anyone. - You don't have to worry about me.

I'll keep mum.

You know me. I'm the soul of indiscretion. Ask anybody.

Hello, Mrs Skinner? Is there anybody serving?

- Hey-up, it's Parkin. - And look at the state of me.

It's all right. I'll deal with him. Don't worry.

What are you doing in here, Mrs Schumann?

I'm just standing in for Mrs Skinner.

- Why? - Why what?

Why are you standing in for Mrs Skinner?

It's not what you think.

- I wasn't thinking anything. - Good. So can I get you anything?

Not really, no. I'm just looking for a tablespoon.

There you are. Bye.

- ls there something wrong? - No, no. Everything's fine.

- Mrs Skinner is all right, isn't she? - Yes. She's terrific.

She's just temporarily incommoded, that's all.

Dear. Is it her tummy?

- In a manner of speaking. - Maybe she's got what I've got.

I doubt it.

- Maybe it's something she's eaten. - I doubt it.

Maybe milk of magnesia would help her too.

I doubt it.

As quickly as you can, resume your position in the booking office.

Right you are, Mr Parkin.

Hatley! Hatley! Hatley!

This is Hatley! Change here for Busten and Wenstead.

- Get off! - Morning, Ralph.

Morning, Arnold.

Is it?

What's the matter with him?

Don't ask. They've been at it all morning.

- Give us a cup of tea, will you, May? - You managed to stop all right?

You didn't run into the counter, then?

- You all right, Arnold? - Yes, fine.

I can be in a bad mood if I want to, can I?

- Yes, I suppose so. - What's the matter, Arnold?

I suppose you'll all find out eventually.

We've just spent t' last two days on a course,

learning how to drive them flamin' new diesels.

So what's the problem?

As far as he's concerned, stopping 'em.

I just couldn't get to grips with them at all.

When it came to stopping the ruddy thing,

I got in a bit of a state and, well, I...

...I hit the buffers.

"Buff!", it went.

- You hit the buffers? - Buff!

I think they get the picture.

The instructor's got his neck in a collar now.

You know what, Ralph? You and them diesels, you were made for each other.

You're both nasty, smelly, soulless things.

I mean, there's no romance in diesels.

Can you imagine Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson

having a brief encounter on anything but a steam train?

But they didn't show you her getting off at Waterloo covered in soot.

How I didn't chuck him in the firebox

coming through Knossington Bassett, I'll never know.

Look, it's not my fault that you can't handle the new trains and I can.

I expect he just needs time to get the hang of it.

He should retire, make room for a younger man.

You may be a younger man, but I can still show you...!

Hold it, Arnold! Arnold! Now stop it! Just stop!

Percy! Percy! Percy! Percy! Help me, Percy! Help me!

I'm a guard, my lovely, not a referee.

- What on earth is going on here? - Just having a quiet cup of tea.

I was just examining the material of Ralph's jacket, Mr Parkin.

Very nice, Ralph.

May I remind you, this is a public utility, not a staff canteen?

I'm trying to run an efficient station. It's not a holiday camp.

Sorry, Mr Parkin.

When you've all finished your refreshments, return to your duties.

- Mr Thomas. - Mr Parkin?

I had a call from Mr Orkindale regarding the diesel training course.

Yes?

He'd like to see you on Friday morning at ten sharp to discuss the results.

Would he? I see.

Well, that's it, in't it?

- I'm finished. - You don't know that for sure, Arnold.

Why else would Orkindale want to see me? They're going to give me me cards.

Here's your tea, Arnold.

They can't just get rid of you like that.

No. You've been driving steam trains for years, haven't you, Arnold?

Since Stephenson's Rocket.

I'll tell you what I think. It's just not fair.

You're right, but there's not a lot we can do about it.

- We could get together a petition. - That's a good idea.

And we could all sign it to let them know how we feel.

Yeah, show those nobs at HQ that we all want Arnold to keep his job.

They've got to know they can't push us around,

that loyalty counts for something.

We could all get together and show a bit of solidity.

Look, I appreciate everything you're trying to do for me,

but, well, let's be honest,

it's not going to make one ha'p'orth of difference.

Well, I... I've had enough for one day.

I'm going home.

I'd better go after him. Just in case he does something silly.

You don't think he'd commit suicide?

No, I think he might let the tyres down on my bike.

Come in.

- Wilfred. Do you want a cup of tea? - No, thanks.

Can I nip into town for an hour? I've got some stuff to buy.

No, you can't. One of us has got to stop here to keep an eye on things.

But I've got to get me parka and stuff for the weekend.

- I'm joining the mods. - I bet they'll be thrilled.

And I've got to fix me bike. I haven't even fixed the aerial yet.

Don't bother, son. You'll never get a picture on that.

And I can get all our regular passengers to sign the petition.

Well, that's eight, for a start.

- I can get Harry to sign. - Nine.

And I'll ask Parkin. Ten.

What about the people in the village?

We can get Amy and Gloria to do them, and the school.

- And my Wilfred'll want to sign it. - Well, he can make his mark, anyway.

Harry could go down the bowls club and get them to sign the petition.

That's a good idea, Vera. Right, then there's the tennis club.

Golf club. Darby and Joan club.

Half the world's in the club these days.

- What did I say? - Nothing. I'm sworn to secrecy.

All I'll say is be careful what you say while she's in this delicate condition.

I see. May's pregnant?

Shh! Now, you didn't hear it from me.

And for goodness' sake, don't say anything to Jack. He doesn't know.

Hello, Jack. If you'll excuse us, we've got a petition to organise. Vera.

- Is this right, May? - ls what right?

Well, are you...?

- Possibly. - Blimey.

Well, it's not definite yet. I'm just a bit late, that's all.

- Would you like a cup of tea? - I'd rather have a brandy.

So, how did it happen?

- How do you think? - I mean when?

Well, it has to have been April 4th.

That's my birthday.

Right.

So, what do you reckon?

I don't know. It's a bit of a shaker, innit?

- For me an' all. - I thought I'd got past all that.

You did?

I mean, think about it, May. By the time the kid's ten, I'll be drawing me pension.

What about the cost? It's tough enough to manage as it is.

How on earth can we afford two kids?

You see, this is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd get into a state.

Fancy having a baby at my time of life.

I think your work's done. It's me that's having the baby.

And to think... I only came here to give you a surprise.

What's that?

Two tickets to see Oliver on our anniversary.

Jack!

May.

'Eck.

- Mrs Schumann. - Morning, Mr Parkin. You're in early.

- What are you doing? - Just typing up copies of the petition.

- Petition? What petition? - The petition to save Arnold's job.

Everybody's involved. Gloria and Amy have just taken a load into town.

Vera and May are covering the station. It's going ever so well.

- May I see? - Yeah.

You can sign that one if you like.

"We, the undersniged,

are appealed by the dreadful freatment given to Arbold."

Sorry. That should be "Arnold".

"And we demand that he should be immediotely reinstoted."

Well, me hands were getting tired. But you get the idea, Mr Parkin.

We don't want them to sack Arnold.

If the railways board considers Arnold should be offered retirement,

that is their decision based on practical and economic grounds.

As employees of the board, it is not our place to question their judgement

but to abide by their decision.

I cannot and will not endorse this sort of militant behaviour.

So are you going to sign it or not?

Of course not. I'd be grateful if you'd tell the others

to desist with this senseless and futile course of action.

- Right, then. - That will be all, Mrs Schumann.

Right.

C R Parkin.

Yeah, that's a good cause. Yeah, I don't mind signing it.

Well, I must say, nobody made this sort of fuss

when my husband had to leave the railway,

and he was an engine driver as well.

Yeah, but he died, Vera.

All the petitions in the world couldn't have brought him back.

Ethel tried to get old misery-guts Parkin to sign, but he refused.

What? Give us that back here.

C R Parkin.

There. He's changed his mind.

Well done, everybody! We've got 232 signatures.

Great. That should show the bosses we mean business.

We did have 235, but I had to cross out Charlton Heston,

Sophia Loren and Daffy Duck.

And guess what? My Wilfred's gone to deliver the petition

to Mr Orkindale in person.

Well, we can forget all about it, then, can't we?

He'll never find the ruddy place.

Here, my Wilfred's all right. He's a lot brighter than you give him credit for.

Mum!

I told you.

Wilfred! What on earth happened to you?

It's that stupid outfit. He's got into a fight with some rockers.

Is that right, Wilfred? Have you been in a fight? How many were there?

Where are they? Were they good-looking?

I haven't been in a punch-up.

The light fitting got caught in the front wheel.

I went over the handlebar.

You poor lad. ls anything broken?

Yeah, me aerial.

Never mind that. Did you deliver that petition to Orkindale?

Yeah, I gave it to him over an hour ago.

- Well done, Wilfred. - Mum!

I don't like being a mod. It's too violent.

Jack! Jack! Jack!

- Hello, Percy. - Hello, Ethel.

- Everything all right? - No, it's not.

- Why? What's up? - You'd better see for yourselves.

Come on, Wilfred. Come on, hurry up.

- Arnold, what are you playing at? - He's lost his marbles.

I've not lost me marbles. I've lost me job.

- You don't know that for sure. - Yes, I do.

Why else would Mr Orkindale want to see me?

True, but this won't help.

No. They'll just get a relief driver

and run you up and down the line until you give in.

He's right, Arnold. This'll get you nowhere.

It'll get him to Swinthorpe.

Shut up, Wilfred. Arnold, we've got 232 names on the petition.

What difference will the petition make?

We'd better get him down before Parkin sees him.

- Too late. - What on earth is going on here?

Nothing. Arnold's just checking the engine.

No, I'm not. I'm stopping up here until somebody gives me me job back.

Mr Skinner, go and call Mr Orkindale immediately.

No, Mr Parkin. There's no need to involve Mr Orkindale in this.

- We can sort this out. - Now, Mr Skinner.

Jack. Have you got a minute? I need to talk to you.

Not right now. We've got dramas here.

Arnold's chained himself to Blossom and Parkin's told me to ring Orkindale.

Well, it's important, Jack. It's about the baby.

Well, you'd better come and sit down, lass.

Yeah.

I've been thinking about all that and...

about me being too old and not being able to afford it and...

Well, I mean, it's daft, isn't it? You can never really afford 'em, can you?

And they do say that babies bring their own luck.

I suppose what I'm saying is that if you are...

you know, it's all right by me.

But I'm not, Jack. That's what I wanted to tell you.

I've just come back from the doctor's.

It was a false alarm, so you don't have to worry about anything.

- I see. - But thanks for the thought, Jack.

Probably for the best?

Aye. Probably.

I appreciate your feelings, Mr Thomas, really I do,

but there are procedures for this sort of thing.

- If you feel you have a grievance... - Of course he's got a grievance.

They're repaying years of loyal service by giving him the sack.

He's given the railways the best years of his life.

- And some of the worst. - Yes, thank you, Mr Lambert.

It ain't fair, though, is it, treating him like this?

Blimey. You've changed your tune. I thought you couldn't wait to take over.

I know, but I've been thinking about it,

and, well, I'd want a bit of respect when I'm 102 like Arnold.

Thank you, Ralph.

Would it help if I made a nice cup of tea?

- May, that'd be lovely. - Not 'alf.

I meant for Arnold.

No, thanks.

I couldn't stir it anyway.

Mr Parkin, it's no good. Mr Orkindale is not in his office.

I see. Well, I'm afraid I cannot allow this situation to continue.

It contravenes at least four railways board regulations.

- I make it six to be precise, sir. - Thank you, Mr Lambert.

This isn't about regulations. This is a human drama.

It's about a man who refuses to give in, who stands up for his rights.

It's like that film. What's it called?

- Lassie Come Home? - It's not Lassie Come Home!

No, I was thinking about The Alamo. Arnold's like that John Wayne.

Not very like him, I grant you. It's just the principle, you see.

They're right. We all feel the same.

You've got to throw away the rule book

and realise that it's people that really matter.

What is going on here, Mr Parkin?

- Mr Orkindale. - Blimey.

- Why's the 6.34 still in the station? - Cos it's not gone yet.

I'm afraid we have a rather tricky situation on our hands.

So I see, and I imagine it connects with this petition

that says that Arnold should be "reinstoted".

That should be "reinstated".

Me hands were tired.

Yes, Mr Orkindale, it is connected.

Obviously people feel very strongly about this, including you, Mr Parkin.

Me?

Why else would you have signed this petition eight times?

- Eight? - Oops. Now we're for it.

Yes, Mr Orkindale, I did sign it, and, well, I was pleased to do so.

You have to throw away the rule book and think about people.

They're our greatest asset, Mr Orkindale.

British Railways needs loyal servants like Arnold.

I, for one, support his position completely.

- I'm very glad to hear it. - You are?

Yes. In fact, I'm very impressed with the spirit you've all shown.

- Thank you, Mr Orkindale. - Thank you. Very kind, sir.

But it was all a waste of time.

You're still going to sack him, just like that?

No, of course I'm not going to sack him, Jack.

I just wanted to tell Arnold that so far as British Railways was concerned,

he's got a job for life.

Thank you, Mr Orkindale. That's very kind.

That's all right. But if you'd picked up the telephone and asked me first,

it would have saved a lot of bother.

It would have saved a lot of typing, as well.

Well, if that's all sorted, I'll be on me way.

Well, come on, then, Arnold. Down you come.

Well, thank you very much, everyone.

Sorry I've been such a nuisance.

Well now, Ralph, go and fetch the key now and unlock me.

- I haven't got the key. You have. - No, I gave it to you.

- No, you didn't. - Yes, I did.

You didn't. Silly old fool. His mind's going.

Yes, all right, Ralph. Thank you. Go and get a hacksaw, please.

What about old Parkin? He was almost human.

I think he was statesmanlike.

He reminded me of Anthony Eden.

Amazing, innit? Who'd have thought it?

Obviously we had him all wrong.

Underneath that starched exterior, he's a little softie.

What are you standing around for? We have a station to run.

We've had enough upheaval for one day. Would you all return to your duties?

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ And so say all of us

♪ And so say all of us

♪ And so say all of us

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ That nobody can deny

- Hey! - Hurray!

♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what have you done?

♪ There once were lots of trains to catch but soon there will be none

♪ I'll have to buy a bike cos I can't afford a car

♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what a naughty man you are

♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what have you done?

♪ There once were lots of trains to catch but soon there will be none

♪ I'll have to buy a bike cos I can't afford a car

♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what a naughty man you are