Original subtitles

[man]: The magic of childhood is always forgot,

but this is the story of one who did not.

[piano music]

[♪♪]

[metallic clanging]

- Morning...

[mumbles]

Evening. Hi.

Sorry. I, erm...

saved you some pasta sauce.

- Hm.

Mwah.

Hi. - Hi.

- Whoa!

Whoa, you okay?

What...what happened at work?

Did they cancel the fridge you've been working on?

- No. They approved it.

- Well, that's great. - No, it isn't.

- Why not? It's amazing. I love this thing.

This knows me better than I know myself.

- Round about this time, Timothy likes wine.

- Doesn't know me that well!

- No, it knows you because they've put a camera

behind this panel here...

to monitor people's eating and drinking habits

without their permission.

- No... - I told them it had to go.

But they refused, so... I quit.

- Good for you.

That's... - No, it's not good.

[sighs] This is bad, Tim.

- I don't... I don't think this is bad.

- The company wants the flat back. And the car.

Everything.

We're homeless.

- Okay, it's borderline bad.

- I'm gonna have to tell Mum.

She's gonna be so disappointed in me.

- No one has any right to be disappointed in you.

- Well, you should be. - What?

- I work and you look after the kids.

That's the deal.

- Have you met our kids lately?

No devices at the table!

[video games sounds]

Beth, come on! Dinner's ready, sweetie!

- Ah! - Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Put it in the scratchel, please.

- The what? - Oh, it's a screen satchel.

I made them myself. Out of oven gloves.

- Oven gloves?

You really need to get a job.

- Beth is... I think she might be an influencer.

Okay!

Tonight I thought we could play some games together

after dinner.

- Not real-life games.

- Yeah, real-life games. - I'm too old for games.

- Okay, well, how about a little bit of dancing?

- We all hate dancing. - Okay.

But first, we have spaghetti-a-la-Thompson,

just like-a-mama used to make. - Your mum isn't even Italian.

- Hey, I'm talking about my way back-a-mama!

Joe's a... cyborg.

Guys, can we... [sighs]

- Kill, kill, kill!

Come on, mind blast, mind blast, mind blast!

[Tim]: And Fran, I don't remember the last time

I heard sweet Frannie speak.

I feel like their childhood is just...

it's slipping away. I feel like I'm failing them.

- How did we end up here?

If we hadn't had kids... - No, don't, don't say that.

- No.

We could just run away

and we could just start a new life.

- Maybe we can all just run away.

- Mm... - Where...?

- What are you doing? - Would you like some wine?

- Not now, fridge! Ah!

The dream binder.

- This is serious, Tim.

- Polly, we need this, and the kids need this.

This is the soluzione.

- One of our dreams from 15 years ago?

- Si, correct... zione.

- Which one?

Oh, that dream. [Tim chuckles]

[light music]

[train whistles]

- The countryside?

Have you gone completely insane?

What about my friends? - Will there be Wi-Fi?

- Don't need it. Look. Brought everyone books.

[both]: Books?!

- Si.

- I can't believe you let him talk you into this, Mum.

This is the oppression of the patriarchy right here.

- Beth, your dad and I are totally united on this, okay?

- Why don't we ask Grandma for money?

- No. No, we've decided

we're not gonna tell Grandma about this right now.

- Because she called Dad a loser?

- Your grandma thinks that everyone's a loser.

Especially me.

- This is a disaster!

- It's gonna be tough, but you're just gonna have

to trust us on this, okay?

- But seriously, will there be Wi-Fi?

- You know what, give me that.

This is a big change, it's true, you're right.

But I just have this feeling

that it might be just kind of amazing.

There's this wood where we're going,

and it's full of the most beautiful, big trees.

- Great. Trees.

Literally the most boring things in the world.

My 5G is going!

I only have 3G!

- I've only got 2G.

What's less than two?

One. - 1G?

A G? What even is that?

- So sorry, excuse me, sir, any taxis around here?

- Nope.

- No, it's alright, love, I've got it.

Um... Now are there any taxis?

- Nope.

- Oh...

So... Yeah.

We'll just walk. We'll walk.

[epic music]

- My legs feel funny.

They feel all achy.

- Oh, yeah, that's um, that's exercise, Joe.

Here, grab an apricot,

and that's gonna boost your energy.

- No!

- No, no... No, no, no, it's good, it's...

- It tastes unhealthy.

- If it tastes unhealthy, it means it's healthy.

It's gonna add bulk to your stool.

[birds cooing]

[soft music]

- Fran!

Goodness, I thought we'd lost you.

Come on, darling, catch up.

[music swelling]

- If we're poor now,

how can we even afford this place?

- Oh, well, the farmer said we can pay him

at the end of the summer.

- During which time we...?

- Grow tomatoes.

- And there it is. Your answer to everything.

- The microclimate here, Beth, it directly mirrors

this little town in Northern Italy where my family are...

- Not from!

- We're gonna make my pasta sauce, we're gonna sell it

and then we'll give the farmer his £20,000,

and then the place is ours.

- What kind of house only costs £20,000?

[laughs]

A house that is not a house.

- Wow, it really is just a barn.

With huge potential. [Tim]: Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[door creaking]

Okay...

Wow!

It's good.

- Ooh. [scared]: Ah!

- Ooh, look at this. Looks like a cosy spot.

- Cosy trailer.

[screaming]

- What? What? What? - Is it a rat?

- There's not even any electricity?

- Beth...

- How am I supposed to charge my phone?

- Ho-ho-ho, look at this!

A landline.

A trusty old steam phone.

Doesn't work.

- I don't understand.

Have we gone back in time?

- I'm gonna get the electricity sorted, okay?

- Tim? - Yeah?

- Is this the kitchen?

- Yeah...

- I love the kitchen! - I love it too!

And look, this is the dining area.

Yummy, yum, yum.

And then the sort of living area over there.

- Yeah.

- Why is there a tractor in it?

Good question, that, actually. [knocking on door]

[shouting in fear] - Oh my God!

- Who's that? - Oh, it's okay.

It's just the farmer.

Alright. [mumbles indistinctly]

- Hi, how you doing?

You must be Brian. - That's right!

How's it going...

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Right, now...

You've got a set of duvets and all that

and bill n pap n what not up in there,

get yourselves some kip and that.

After that, it's all on you.

[whispering]: What did he just say?

- No idea. - Hi. Um, excuse me.

- Oh, he's a little man, in't he?

Hi, little one... [mumbles]

- Do you have any Wi-Fi?

[Tim chuckles] - Huh?

- Wi-Fi.

- Wi-Fi?

Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Wi-Fi.

- 'Course I got Wi-Fi. - Oh, great.

- Me, I love Wi-Fi, haha!

Oh yeah, I'll get Wi-Fi.

- Okay, thank you. - Okay, okay. See?

I told you, we're not in the dark ages out here.

It's gonna be fine.

- Here's Wi-Fi.

- Hello. I'm Bella, Brian's wife-aye.

- Oh... - Yeah, we spoke on the phone.

- Yeah, Bella. Of course.

- Oh, Brian's wife... aye.

- Aye.

Oh, I... now I get it.

- We'll leave yous to it,

let you get yourselves all cosy and that.

Oh, just remember, close your windows at night,

and don't go in that wood up top.

- Why not?

- Some folks say it's enchanted.

Strange creatures, floaty lights, weird noises.

The usual things.

- I wouldn't say that was very usual.

- Why'd you think this place was so cheap, eh?

[general laughter]

- Their faces.

- Taddy-bye-byes, like. - Teddy-bye-bye...

- Bye. - Night-night.

Don't let the bedbugs bite. Which they will.

Bye. Right.

- Weird locals, spooky wood, tick and tick.

[chuckles] - Yep.

[insects chirring]

[soft banjo music]

[coughs]

[Tim]: This is so cosy, isn't it?

- I'm freezing. - I miss central heating.

- Ho-ho-ho-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, I just thought of something.

Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?

It's the perfect time...

for the family song.

- No. [Tim chuckles]

Feel free to harmonise, do the dance,

just follow your hearts, okay?

Okay. [Polly sighs]

♪ We're a rootin' tootin' family ♪

♪ Together we're a home

- I'm going to bed, and I hope I never wake up.

♪ And when you're with your family

♪ You're never alone

- I'm going to bed too.

♪ Oh, we're together come rain or shine ♪

- I think this wood's wet, love.

I'm gonna take Fran to bed.

Come on.

♪ So clap your hands and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in and sing the family song ♪

♪ So clap your hands and sing along, along ♪

♪ Join in and sing the family song ♪♪

[creaking]

- Right...

Bedtime.

Still not talking much, eh?

You used to be such a chatterbox

when you were little, do you remember?

Do you know that you always used to give me my best ideas?

You did.

Funny little child's brain.

The most wonderful thing on earth.

Don't hide it away, darling.

Right...

Arrrgh!

[Polly chuckles]

Mwah.

Night-night.

- I saw a fairy today.

- Did you?

[soft music]

[whispering]: I think Fran spoke to me.

- What did she say?

- "I saw a fairy today."

[giggles]

- Oh!

[insects chirring, animal cries]

[soft music]

[banging] - Oh!

Come on.

- Ah!

I can't believe I let you talk me into this.

She's human!

- Yes, but she's a good human.

She's kind. She gave me back my purse

and she deserves our thanks.

So we need to be kind to her.

Now, in you go.

- Oh. Oh, I see.

Get the tiny little pixie to go through

the tiny little gap!

- And what's wrong with that? - It's size-ist, that's what.

I mean, you're a fairy, hm?

Aren't fairies supposed to be small

and fly about the place like a little bird?

- Well, Pixie, you know that's a sore point for me, so...

- Oh, so I have to suffer and face the wrath of Moonface?

- Oh, no, no, no, no, it's fine.

So, you just... didn't want any of those pop cakes, then?

- I like pop cakes.

Just this once, Silky.

- In you go.

- Don't tell me what to do! - Okay.

On the count of three, you're going to jump, alright?

Okay... Three, two, one.

- I'm not scared.

I'm not scared.

I'm gonna, you know, whoo!

[giggles]

- Count of five. Less scary.

Five, four, three,

two... - Aah!

- Ooh!

Ooh... Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

I can't believe you pushed me.

- Time for business.

You ready?

- Whoa, Silky... [groans]

- Now, go. You've got a job to do.

- I want loads of pop cakes for this!

[groans]

- Be careful! Easy does it.

That's it.

Easy...

A little further.

You're nearly there. Push it!

- Aah!

- Whoa!

[gasps] - Ooh, ooh, ooh!

- Now look what's happened.

Great plan, Silky.

[Silky giggles]

How is this funny?

- I'm not laughing.

[moaning]

[laughs]

[cock-a-doodle-doo]

[cock-a-doodle-doo]

- What's that noise? - Ah, hey, Beth.

- Oh, that's Roger. Nature's alarm clock.

- Fine.

Snooze mode.

- Hey. Whoa, no!

That's not cool. Not cool, Beth.

[Tim sighs]

You alright, Rog?

[Silky's voice]: Thank you for giving my purse back.

Come and see us for tea and cakes at the Faraway Tree.

From your friend, Silky.

P.S. Don't tell Moonface.

Bring a gift.

[rhythmic tapping]

- Oh, good, Frannie, you're up.

You can help me with breakfast. It's fried eggs.

But I just have to figure out the oven.

[sighing]: Okay...

Aaah!

There's a chicken on it.

Why is there a chicken on it?

Shoo, chicken. Shoo, shoo.

Shoo, shoo. Breakfast might just be a little bit delayed,

sweetheart.

[rumbling]

- Whoa, hey, hey, hey! Hi, whoa, that's too much!

- You said you wanted a load of manure.

- I did. As in some manure, not a truckload.

- What's he blathering on about?

- I don't know, do I?

You alright, Frannie?

- Go on.

- Oh, yeah...

How big was this horse?

[epic music]

[Silky]: First, enter the wood...

Then cross the stream...

Go under the tree...

Oh, ignore the signs.

[music swelling]

Enter the clearing and you'll see it...

The Magic Faraway Tree.

[epic music]

Now, close your eyes and say,

'I believe in magic,' three times.

- I believe in magic.

I believe in magic.

I believe in magic.

[ethereal music]

[tree creaking]

[low rumble]

[enchanted noises]

- Whoa!

[birdsong]

[groans in effort]

[mumbles indistinctly]

[shouts]

- Uh... Oh, sorry to bother you...

- Go away and never come back!

[epic music]

[music slows down]

[soft music]

[sighs nervously]

[birdsong in the distance]

- Moonface?

- 'Course I told Watzisname

not to eat the bang bang mustard,

and now he's awfully uncomfortable.

Shame, really. Oh! Good gracious!

I mean... er... a thief! Intruder!

Saucepan Man, go get help.

[saucepans rattling] Who... who are you?

What do you want?

- Um... I... - What's that?

- You said, "go get kelp." - I said go get help for me!

[grunts] Da... da...

what are you doing?!

- You said, "Throw some kelp at me."

- Argh! - Goodness me,

what is all this caterwauling?

- I came in to find this tiny little human

with her grubby little fingers all over my precious things.

- Hello.

- I'm Silky.

So-called for my silky golden hair.

What's your name, little one?

- Er... Francesca.

Fran for short. - Oh...

See?

She's not a stranger.

This is Francesca Franfershort.

- But... But she's a human!

Humans are expressly forbidden

from entering the Enchanted Wood!

- Yes, but... she's brought a gift.

And humans are allowed into the Enchanted Wood

if they bring gifts.

We agreed that at the last general meeting, remember?

- What meeting? - Hm?

- The one that... that you missed.

Show him the gift, Fran for short.

- Oh, it's in my bag.

- Hm? - Oh.

Oh. It's a... it's one of these!

Ah.

- Well?

Demonstrate the gift.

- Mm. [saucepans rattling]

[rhythmic bouncing] [exclamations of surprise]

- Seems like a silly little thing.

- Ooh.

- Ah, well, well, I... I shall master

this pathetic device in seconds,

because I am the greatest at all things.

Here we go.

[metallic rattling]

Shush your pans, Saucy, you're putting me off.

Just... See? Ah!

Oh, oh! I'll be...

Uh! - That's Moonface.

- Goodness gracious! - I guessed that.

Silly thing! - And this...

This is Saucepan Man.

Saucy, this is Fran.

- Hello, Stan.

- Oh. He's a little hard of hearing

on account of all the saucepans.

- Why doesn't he just take them off?

- Take them off? Well, then,

I wouldn't be Saucepan Man, would I?

Dumb-dumb.

- Oh, did you meet the angry pixie downstairs?

- Angry? [chuckles]

I'm furious!

- Don't worry about him. Come on. Let's go meet the others.

- Come on, Moony.

- You all live in this tree? - Yes.

Can you imagine a better place?

- It's amazing. - Yeah, it's alright.

- It's a bit better than just alright.

[enchanting music]

[birdsong]

- Incoming! - Ooh! Better stand aside.

[loud splash]

That's Dame Washalot.

She empties her bucket around this time of morning.

- Hello.

- Oh, oh... And this is Mr. Watzisname.

- Oh... I hate it when I forget people's names.

Oh, no, no, no. Er, he can't remember his name.

It's true. I used to know so much, but now nothing at all.

Still, happens to everyone, I suppose.

Actually, it hasn't happened to anyone else I know.

[bell ringing] - Ooh!

That is a new land arriving at the top of the Faraway Tree.

Would you like to come and have a look?

- Have fun. Nice to meet you.

[Moonface]: Argh! [groans in frustration]

- Alright? And this is Dame Washalot.

- Need anything washing, sweetheart?

- No. I'm okay, thanks.

- Dame Washalot knows everything there is to know

about the lands at the top of the tree.

- Oh, stop it. - Ooh.

Shall we see what's up there today?

- Ooh, that's a good idea!

Let's take a look.

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

It's the Land of Goodies today!

Oh, you'll have a great time up there,

little one, nothing to fear at all.

Except you must leave before the land turns!

Otherwise you'll be stuck there for good, you hear?

- She does that a lot.

- Oh, you'll have so much fun. [laughs]

Shall we go into launch mode?

- What's launch mode?

- Just you wait.

- Launch mode goes a little something... like this.

[disco music plays]

- Let's go. - I love this one.

- We can do it together. Start like this.

And bigger. And twirl.

Let's go this way.

I love this one!

[muffled disco music]

- Here we go!

[suspenseful music]

- Yeah, go up!

[music resumes]

[suspenseful music]

[doors creaking]

[animal cries]

- Wow...

- Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!

Attention!

Welcome to the Land of Goodies.

Here, there's one rule and one rule only.

Don't be greedy.

So I'm gonna let you guys go and get a lot... oh!

[whirring]

Everybody duck, flying saucers!

[loud rumble]

- I love flying saucers.

[Fran]: Ah! - Remember,

there is no need for greed.

- Ah, look! [Fran giggles]

- Thank you. Cheers.

- Remember, no greed.

- Jobsworth. Right.

Load me up. Don't be shy.

- Mm. - Sour, love it.

Oh, oh, oh, look at them!

They are much bigger than last year, aren't they?

- Oh!

This is called a pop cake.

- Why is it called a pop cake? - You'll see.

[popping sound]

[gasps] What do you think?

- Mm! Mm!

- Beware!

Decay!

Beware, decay!

- Crackpot. Jog on. - Beware, decay!

- Sugary, sugary fruit punch?

- Don't mind if I do.

Yes.

Uh! [ding! ding! ding!]

Oh! [laughter]

Got quite a kick to it.

- The most delicious marshmallows

in all of the lands.

What do you think?

- Wow. My favourite.

- Let's have a look. - Mm.

[indistinct chatter, joyful music]

[cackling] [engine sputtering]

[rattling]

- What are you doing? - Hey!

[honking]

Oh no, you know, getting the old...

...the tracky going, you know how it goes.

[sighs] Yeah,

gonna make this baby sing.

[crackling]

[birds cackling]

- Tim? - Yeah.

- I'm thinking that I'm gonna start applying for jobs.

- No, no, no, no, no. - Yes.

- I think the kids might be getting into it...

- My game just died. What do I do now?

- Go outside and play, Joe.

- Hm... with what?

- With other humans.

Play with your sisters. Where's Beth?

- Beth says this place has triggered boredom trauma.

[Polly laughs]

[Tim, high-pitched]: I can't do it!

It's been a day, dude!

At least Fran's out there having a good time.

- Oh... but where is Fran? I thought she was with you.

- No, I thought she was with you.

- No. - Er...

Oh, I did see her. She was, um...

You don't think she would...

she would've gone to the wood up top, do you?

- The wood they said not to go in?

- Yeah, the haunted wood.

- Uh-oh. - Aah... Ah!

[flying saucers whirring]

[animal cries]

- Just flying saucers and no bananas,

but I like bananas more.

I'm on the lookout for some flumps.

Hello.

Have you got any flumps? [Silky]: Oh!

[Saucepan]: Thank you, very good.

- Thank you.

[swelling music]

[Fran grunts]

- Ooh, careful, little one!

You won't be able to carry that basket soon.

[loud rumbling]

- What's going on?

- The land's about to turn.

We need to get down the hatch, quick!

- Come on, Silky! - Come on, Fran!

- But I haven't had a marshmallow.

[twinkling music]

[marshmallows grumbling]

- I'm stuck!

- Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Very disappointing.

Hm.

"Be sensible," I said.

Let's start with your name. - I have to go!

- The only place you're going is to a greedy,

greedy prison, young lady.

- Fran!

Fran!

- Fran!

Frannie!

- Fran!

- Frannie!

[rumbling] - Where's the little one?

- We can't go back, we'll get stuck. Leave her.

- We can't leave her! Come on!

- No one touch me flying saucer!

- Fran!

- Fran!

- Fran? I see her!

I see her!

- Well, it would be marshmallows.

- Oh, Fran! - Excuse me!

- I'm stuck! - Oh, quick, help!

She's stuck!

- You guys are aiding a felon! You're all under arrest!

I need names.

- We're hardly gonna give you our names, Officer.

- Help us, Moonface! - Moonface, alright.

- Oh, thanks a lot, Silky!

- Silky, gotcha!

- Come on, help! - Alright!

- So many greedy, greedy prisoners for greedy prison.

[all]: Urgh!

Ooh!

- A-ha! You see?

Don't under... Ooh!

[screams in pain]

- Come on! - Nice shot, Saucepan Man.

- Oh! Me google buns!

Oh, they're alright, actually.

[suspenseful music]

They're not gonna make it.

- Come on! Get out of the way! Move!

- Get a flipping move on!

- You're under arrest!

[indistinct shouting]

- Shush! Stop!

Stop! Stop! Hey!

You'll be back, and I'll be waiting,

you greedy greedies.

- How was it then? - It was amazing.

- Well, you haven't seen the best bit yet.

The slippery slip.

- The what?

- Worry not, little one.

There's absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

You alright?

- Um... - Great!

[all]: Five, four, three, two...

Aaaaah!

- One? - Oh, Moonie.

[tense music]

- Aaaaaaah!

Aaaah!

Whoa!

[birdsong] [Fran gasps]

- Got it. - Okay, great.

We've gotta quickly get a search party.

- Search party?

- Yeah, for your sister. She's missing.

Remember your sister?

You used to care about her and love her,

and she's missing, and it's partly your fault.

- My fault? - Yeah.

- How is this my fault?

- If you'd been playing with her

instead of sitting in your room

and throwing shoes at chickens!

- Playing with her? Do I look eight years old?

If anything, this is your fault

for filling her head with rubbish

about some wood being full of joy and wonder.

- When can we get electricity? [Polly]: Joe, no.

- Argh! Just give me a minute.

You're both behaving like a couple of spoiled brats!

- Spoiled? Is it too much to ask for electricity?

- Yes, it is, actually!

Do you know where electricity comes from, how it's made?

- It comes from plugs, doesn't it?

- Oh, Joe...

- Well, maybe if you'd had a job as well as Mum,

then we wouldn't have had to move here in the first place!

- Beth! - Ho-ho!

- Why are you all arguing? - Oh, honey!

Oh, darling! Oh, my gosh, I worried.

Where'd you go, you silly billy?

Huh?

- I'm sorry. I lost track of time.

- Oh, it's okay, it's okay. - No, no, no.

- It's not okay. - No, no.

- Where have you been, Fran? - I was in the wood.

But it's not spooky at all.

It's enchanted and wonderful, just like you said, Dad.

I went up the Faraway Tree

and got stuck in the Land of Goodies,

but the Saucepan Man and Silky came to help,

and Moonface, even though he doesn't like me.

- And she's gone totally mad. - Hey, Beth.

- I think I preferred the non-talking Fran.

- Shh!

- Does no one believe me?

- We do. Of course we do, darling.

- And we're so glad that you had a good time, sweetheart.

But the next time that you want to go

to your enchanted wood,

you have to go with Joe and Beth, okay?

- With Joe and Beth, yeah. - Okay?

- Okay? - Okay.

- It's so lovely to hear your voice.

Mm.

Mm.

[sighs]

[cackling]

[whistles a tune]

- Buongiorno!

Buongiorno, bambini!

Rise and shine,

it's a beautiful day at Casa Thompson!

[whispering]: Ciao. Ciao, bambini.

Here we go.

Huh?

Oh, come on!

[creaking]

- Say hello to running water.

I might've had an idea for an irrigation system.

[inspiring music]

This is the basic structure.

- Okay. Yeah, here?

- I think we need to put the corners out,

and then we can measure it accurately.

There's one window, there's two windows.

Yep, watch out for that thing.

Okay. - We did it.

[soft, inspiring music continues]

- Dear Grandma.

I know I'm not supposed to tell you,

but you should know,

we've become poor and moved to the countryside.

Dad is making a fool of himself, as always.

- Oh.

[Beth]: And his crazy plan to grow tomatoes

is infecting the whole family.

Even Mum.

She's now actually helping him.

I'm starting to worry

she's been completely brainwashed.

- Aaah! [shouts happily]

- Yeah!

[Beth]: Joe has got severe withdrawal problems.

[imitates video game sounds]

- Let's get the chest... Stupid meg sword!

[Beth]: And Fran's senses have gone completely.

- Please come to the Enchanted Wood.

[Beth]: I've tried making friends with the local kids,

but the conversation is far from riveting.

- These are no ordinary wellies.

They have a Gore-Tex lining for extra dryness.

Got any Gore-Tex wellies? - No.

[Beth]: Oh, Grandma, please rescue us.

You're the only one who can end

this insanity and get us back to the real world.

Best wishes, your granddaughter, Beth.

- Er, you've also had an email from Buckingham Palace.

Would you like to have tea with the King on Thursday?

- Oh, that's a hard no.

I can't stand their stair carpet.

- Ooh, sorry. I almost forgot.

There's also this.

- Oh, a letter!

[laughs] I remember those, yes.

What fun!

But how do you get into it? - Oh, oh, sorry, God, sorry.

Ooh...!

Oh, what is that smell?

- I believe it's horse manure, Ma'am.

- Horse manure?

Oh, horse manure. [coughs]

[Tim sings along to Gregorian chants]

- What are you doing now?

- Gregorian chants, darling!

Good for the plants, they love it.

- And I've got the tractor running on tomato juice.

- Yoo-hoo-hoo!

- Whoo! - Oi!

- Well, it's a work in progress.

- What do you want?

- Please come to the Enchanted Wood?

- You know what? Fine.

Anything is better than being here.

- Finally!

[light music]

- Seriously?

Oh, it's wet! Urgh!

Urgh!

Oh! Oh, my God, it's in my hair!

Hello? I'm literally seeing warning signs right now.

- Don't worry. They're just to scare humans off.

- But we're humans, aren't we?

- It's okay. They know me.

- Who's "they"?

- Don't you remember, Joe?

Fran's friends with the fairies.

[Joe]: I'm tired.

- Guys, it's just there.

- It's just a tree.

- Now, close your eyes and say,

"I believe in magic," three times.

- There's no way I'm saying that.

[Joe and Fran]: I believe in magic.

- Close your eyes!

[Joe and Fran]: I believe in magic.

I believe in magic.

- Oh my God, Fran... a fairy, look!

- It's because you didn't say it, Beth.

- I'll say it, and then it will be evidenced

as juvenile nonsense.

I believe in magic, I believe in magic, I believe in magic.

[low rumbling]

[enchanting music]

I told you. Come on!

[Fran]: Come on!

[Joe]: Whoa.

- There they are. Get on.

- Okay...

Why are we getting on them?

- You'll see.

- What happens now?

- They go up.

- Up? - Up.

- Whoa! - Yay!

- Mummy!

- Do you want to practice kissing? Mm?

You're such a good kisser. Mwah.

Oi!

Aaaaaah!

How dare you!

- That's where the Angry Pixie lives.

- What is this place?

- And this is Mr. Watzisname.

- Mm. Morning.

- Joe, Saucepan Man. Saucepan Man, Joe.

- Hi, Banjo.

- Why are you covered in saucepans?

- Why does everyone keep asking me that?

The clue is in the name.

- Great. More humans.

Get ready for more broken promises.

- And this is Moonface.

He hates humans.

- I'm in charge here.

I'm the wisest and most cleverest creature

in all the lands.

- He's a bit big-headed. [stifled laughter]

- That's just hurtful.

Just because someone's physically different...

- And who am I, you might be wondering.

[whispers]: Hi, Fran.

I am Silky, so called for my silky golden hair.

[Beth laughs] Oh, is something amusing?

- No, it's just... That's how you define yourself, is it?

By your blonde hair? - No, no.

I... I bake cakes and I look pretty also.

- Feminism not made it to these parts, then?

- Oh, on the contrary, I love being feminine.

I like you.

Hope we can be friends.

- I've got enough friends, sister.

- We can't be sisters, silly.

Well, I mean, unless your parents are

from the Land of the Fairies.

- What? - Incoming!

Quick, out of the way!

- Why?

[splashing]

- What the heck?!

- Oh, dear...

- Dame Washalot. [ringing]

- Land of Birthdays is here, Land of Birthdays!

- Run along, I'll catch you up.

- Let's go! - Come on!

Come on, Beth.

- You'll love this, Joe.

It's a ladder that goes to other worlds.

- Sounds amazing.

- Have you gone insane?

I can't let you go up a massive ladder

through a hole in the clouds.

- Why not? We'll be fine.

- Worry not, sister. We'll look after them.

Oh, it's wet.

- Please, Beth. - Come on, Beth.

- Fine, I'll give you five minutes.

- Yes! - Lovely.

That'll give me enough time to wash your top. Come here.

You're covered in soap suds. Whatever have you been up to?

- I wonder... - Take it off.

Right, are we ready for a bit of launch mode?

- Yes, yes. - Ooh...

Oh, and remember to wrap up warm up there!

- Why?

- The reason we have to dress up warm is...

Because of the icing!

[electro music]

Come on.

Don't dawdle.

Welcome!

- Welcome to the Land of Birthdays!

- Where every day is your birthday,

and your wishes all come true!

- What are you? Pixies?

[gasp]

- Please, do not insult us like that!

- Actually, we are elves.

Birthday elves, to be precise.

Please, come join us for your birthday celebration.

Come on! [uptempo music]

- Look at the jelly! - Wow!

- Burger shake.

My favourite. - Pizza, my favourite!

- And now, if you make a wish,

it shall come true. - A fish?

- What's he talking about? How do you make a fish?

- Mate, you never hear anything.

You need to lose the saucepans.

- Fine. I wish that I had no saucepans.

Then you'll all see why I need them.

Oh!

- Hm?

Happy now?

I look... I look ridiculous! Totally naked!

- I love video games,

but Mind Blast is my favourite.

So, I wish I could be my Mind Blast game character.

- Ooh.

Oh! - So cool!

I love it, I love it, I love it! Incredible.

- Extraordinary.

- Me next.

I wanna be small...

I want to have wings,

I want to be the fairiest fairy in all the lands!

- Silky?

- Silky? - Where are you?

Where have you gone?

[harp music]

- Oh! - Ah, oh, oh.

- Oh! - The wings!

- Oh!

- Whoa!

- Oh...!

[clapping]

- Whoa. She's flying!

- Wow! - I can fly.

- And now, it is your turn!

- I hate the sound of my own voice.

- Aw...

I wish... I had someone else's voice.

[clapping]

[deep voice]: I wonder if it worked!

Oh no! This is worse than before!

- Ooh!

- Please, sir... can I change my wish?

- Hm...

- Me too, I can't eat my pizza.

- Ah, no.

Once a wish has been wished...

- ...it cannot be reversed.

- Until when?

- Until the end of time.

- What? - Buh.

- Uh-oh.

- There you are, dearie. All done.

- Well, it's shrunk a bit.

- Well, maybe a bit.

I mean, it's all that synthetic material

they use in your world.

- My world? What are you talking about?

- It is a bit confusing, isn't it? Worlds, lands.

But it's really very simple.

At the top of that ladder are lands

that come and go. Come and have a look.

This shows us what land we're on.

There's loads. There's, um...

the Land of Toys. Oh, the Land of Dreams.

Oh, that's a good one. And, oh yes, the Land of Giants.

[chuckles]

I mean, they're all nice, really.

Not a bad land among them.

Apart from the Land of Dame Snap!

Oh, sorry, did I say land? I meant prison!

[loud clank]

- You're going to stay here to learn;

and to learn, I must break you.

Like this!

- Okay... but it's the Land of Birthdays today, right?

Nothing bad can happen there.

- Well, I mean,

only if they've wished for something silly.

But they wouldn't do that, would they?

- Well, you can have this back.

- Oh.

Are you sure you don't want it?

It gets chilly up there.

Suit yourself.

Oh... If you are going up...

Can you give this to the birthday elves?

It's their washing.

Thanks, dearie.

Oh, kids these days...

They really are so ungrateful.

[suspenseful music]

- Oh, my God...

- Fantastic! Our laundry... She's here!

[both]: Welcome to the Land of Birthdays!

- Where every day is your birthday...

- And all your wishes...

- Come true, yeah, I know. Er, fine.

I wish my dad's dumb tomato dream fails,

so we can all go home.

[doors slamming shut]

- A bit early for the wishes, but okay.

- Great. Now, where's my brother and sister?

- It's Beth!

- Beth, we've made some terrible mistakes.

- Let me take a wild guess. You all made stupid wishes.

[deep voice]: I just wish I had my own voice back.

- Well, Beth, I think you'll see

that we didn't all make stupid wishes.

My one is pretty spectacular, as I'm sure you'll agree.

- If you wished to be a flying cupcake, perfect.

- And you are no longer my sister.

- Can we have our laundry already? Laundry?

- My colours are going limp, uh?

- Laundry, s'il vous plaît.

- Uh, uh, uh. Not so fast.

No clean clothes until the wishes are reversed.

- What?! - There is no way.

- But we need clean clothes, Jean!

- There is a man who lives in the basement

beneath this land.

He may be able to help you.

- But we must warn you, he is, er... not a nice man.

- No. - What's his name?

- Mr. Oom Boom Boom.

[deep voice]: It says knock seven times.

- Uh...

- In a row!

Are you kidding me?! What?! Who is it?

- Um, the elves sent us.

They said you might be able to help us.

- Mr. Oom Boom Boom helps no one but himself!

- I wonder why they call him Mr. Oom Boom Boom.

- So, I've got a loud voice! I've had it since childhood!

So rude!

- Oh, please, Mr. Oom Boom Boom.

Just reverse their wishes and we'll be on our way.

- You're very small.

- Hm. I know.

- Who are you?

- Oh, well, I am Silky,

and I am the most fairiest fairy in all of the lands.

Oh, I... I do not need my wish reversing, by the way.

I am incredibly happy with it,

in spite of what some people might think.

[scoffs]

- Hm...

Pff, pff, pff.

You know, on second thoughts, I, er, changed my mind.

I will help you. - Really?

- That's what I just said, didn't I?!

[Silky]: Oh...! - Now, follow me.

Oh, excuse the mess.

I wasn't expecting visitors.

This place is usually by appointment only!

- Are you a scrap dealer?

- I prefer the term "art dealer".

I deal in valuable artifacts from all the lands!

This is a snowman from the Land of Ice and Snow!

Right...

Obviously, it melted, but you...

you get the idea, okay?!

I've got spells.

I've got spells from the Land of... Spells.

- The Land of Spells?

- Is there one to reverse our wishes?

- Oh, well, wouldn't that be convenient? No!

You need this...

What...what?

A-ha! Here we are. Yes.

I won this door playing poker

with a bloke from the Land of Back to Front.

Four aces I had, without cheating!

You go in there, say your wishes again,

and they'll be reversed.

[Joe and Beth]: Great. - Ba-ba-ba-ba.

Not so fast. Like I said...

I am a dealer, so before you go in there,

we have to strike a deal.

- Fine. What's the deal?

- I want the fairy.

- Absolutely not. - No!

- No way! - It's not for me,

it's for Santa Claus!

- Santa Claus? Seriously?

- He offered me money to find him

the best fairy in all the lands

for his Christmas tree this year. That's the deal.

Take it or leave it.

- Not in a gazillion years.

- Wait!

I agree to the deal.

- Silky... We can't let you do this.

- Won't be so bad.

I'll be with the Santa Claus.

I mean, what could be more fun for a fairy than that?

I have to do this.

If not for you, my old friends, then...

...for the children, my new friends.

- Beautiful sentiments, thank you, fairy.

- You'd do this for us?

- 'Course I would.

- I was wrong about you, Silky.

- And I was wrong... about you.

- When?

- Well, I... I don't know, it just, sort of,

felt like the right thing to say.

- I think... we could've been friends.

- Maybe even sisters.

- Maybe even sisters.

And I was being mean before.

You look great.

I just thought you looked pretty cool the way you were.

- Oh.

- Can we hurry this along, please?

I've got to catch the last post!

So, go, fairy, to the packing station, if you please!

[neon buzzing]

Oh...

Before you go in there, there are snacks,

so help yourself, if you can.

Or nac-uoy-fi, as they say here.

- Nac-uoy-fi? - Bye, Joe.

Bye, Beth, bye, Fran. - Bye, Silky.

- Nac-uoy-fi, if you can, nac-uoy-fi.

[distorted soundscape]

We need to speak backwards.

- Oh, my gosh.

- I wish I was my Mind Blast character.

- Mm.

In you pop.

That's it.

Nice and safe, snug and warm.

Sorry, fairy!

This ain't going to Santa Claus.

It's going to Dame Snap!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

- I wish I had someone else's voice.

[Fran, with her own voice]: Yay! It worked!

[Oom boom laughs maniacally]

- Oh, Dame Snap will be so pleased with little Oom Boom.

- Who's a good boy?

- Dame Snap...

Silky is in danger!

Hey! What are you doing?

- Mind your own beeswax!

- You're sending her to Dame Snap.

- Dame Snap?

- This will not do!

- Ooh. - Come here!

- Uh! - Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.

Oh, oi, oh-eh! [blows raspberry]

- Come here, you! Aah!

- Ah, that was quick.

Wow, the North Pole.

- Oh, you're okay.

- Santa?

You look exactly like my friend Beth!

- I am Beth.

- Oom Boom Boom was gonna send you to Dame Snap.

- You saved me.

- I guess.

- Ah! Hands up!

- Ooh!

- This here is a toffee gun, see?

[chuckles] And I'm not afraid to use it!

If you don't hand the fairy back,

the lot of you are gonna get...

- And that is why I wear saucepans.

[Oom Boom]: Aaargh! - Good to have you back.

Oh, the land's moving!

Let's get out of here! - Wait!

Where's Silky?

- Hey. - Hey.

All the wings and the tininess,

that wasn't really me.

I prefer me.

- Right, let's go! Come on! Go, go, go!

Come on, this way!

- Run, run!

Come on!

- Go, go, go, go, go!

- So unhappy right now! [whimpers]

- Go, go!

- To the hatch! - Come on, down the hatch!

- Always with the door!

- Cocoa, please, Mummy.

- Hi, Mr. Watzisname.

- Hello.

- Do me a favour, okay, Silky?

- Anything.

- Don't let any of these boys boss you around anymore.

- Alright.

Now, you do me this favour.

- Sure.

Wear this pretty flower in your hair.

- Okay.

- Come on, you guys, hurry up!

- What the... - See you on the other side.

Whoo!

- There is no way I'm going down that.

- Never in a million years.

- Aaaah!

- Aaah!

- Yes! Amazing!

[birdsong]

[soft music]

What's that?

- That's Grandma's helicopter.

- Grandma? How did she know we were here?

- I don't know. I'm a helicopter too, guys.

[imitates the blades of a helicopter]

- Well, you don't quit your job

over silly things like moral principles!

- I mean, what am I to say to people down at the club

when they ask about you, hm?

I will have to say, "She's...

...unemployed?!"

No!

I'll say you are in a coma or something.

- Frieda, would you like some pumpkin seeds?

- No. What do you think I am, a hamster?

- Ah, kinder.

Ha, ha, ha! Oh.

Stand up straight. Get a haircut.

Ooh, so pretty, Fran, ja.

Beth.

Good girl. - Hi, guys.

- Hey. - Where have you been?

- Beth and Joe came with me to the Enchanted Wood.

- It was so fun!

- Really? - Yeah.

- And what did you learn in this Enchanted Wood?

- Learn?

Oh, er, I don't know.

- "I don't know"?

- No, it's okay, it's playtime.

Playing is plenty.

- So, how are you going to pay this farmer his money?

- Hm?

- We're making Dad's tomato sauce.

- Dad's tomato sauce?

- There will be a grand launch at the end of...

[Joe mumbles] - Mm.

- Oh, ja, ja,no.

I, I forgot about Timothy's heritage.

- Facciamo una conversazione in Italiano, Timotee?

- Oh, I actually don't know how to speak Italian.

Yet.

- But you're learning, are you?

- No, no, no, my dad said one day

it would just, sort of, come to me,

when the, um, you know, when the time was right.

- Yeah, of course, it will.

And how will you be paying

your manufacturing expenses, hm?

Your machinery, your equipment?

- I'm doing that. - You?

[Tim]: Mm-hm. - Yes.

- Ha, ha! I'm laughing!

Ho-ho-ho!

- Polly has designed and made

literally everything that we could possibly need.

- Tim... - She made an automated

irrigation structure, from nothing.

- A sprinkler?

- Oh no, but then you combine it with this...

this multi-domed,

temperature-regulated climate marquee.

- A greenhouse?

- You do know these things

have already been invented, don't you?

- That's not really the point, Mum.

- Then what is the point, Polly?!

If you don't mind me asking.

- Frieda... Let's pump the brakes.

- I am extremely disappointed in you, Polly.

- I thought you would be.

- How about we put this truck in reverse?

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

- I am not playing bumper cars with you, Timothy!

- It may seem strange to you, Frieda, but...

we're happy here.

- Well, I'm sure you are, Timothy.

But what about you, Beth, huh?

Don't you miss your friends?

Don't you want to be back in the city?

- Well, yes, but... - Well, there we are.

I will get you a place in a good school

in the city next term and you can stay with me.

- Mum! - Whoa!

- Don't worry, I will leave you alone for now!

Or in fact, put this...

grand launch into the diary.

[laughs mockingly]

Yes, I will be here to witness the disaster.

- Oh, great.

- And then of course rescue you from all this chaos.

We'll see ourselves out.

Thank you for your letter, Beth.

[dramatic music]

[whimpers lightly]

[Frieda]: Oh, dear.

[Polly sighs] [Tim]: Phew.

- Ah, well...

The sun's going down,

I'd best fire up the electricity.

- We've got electricity?

- And Wi-Fi.

- He, he doesn't mean... - He doesn't mean me, no.

He means actual Wi-Fi.

- Ah.

[melancholy music]

[girls talk indistinctly] - Hi! I'm back!

[all]: We missed you!

- I missed you too.

- Are you okay, though? - Sure, why?

- You've got plants in your hair, babes.

Uh... Oh.

Ugh, the electricity's gone. Hello?

Urgh!

[crackling]

[pants slightly]

Urgh!

[crackling]

- Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- Oh, Beth, there you are.

I'm just about to show Fran and Joe the dream binder.

- What's a dream binder?

- It's something that me and your dad made

when we were students.

It's a place where you record your dreams.

Dreams of what we wanted to do, who we wanted to be.

That's the reason that we came here, in a way.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Well, you know that your dad grew up round here.

Just the other side of your wood, actually.

And his dad grew tomatoes, just like we're doing.

- What happened?

- Well, your grandad died very suddenly,

when Daddy was little.

And him and his mum,

they tried to keep the business going,

but it was too much just for the two of them.

So, eventually they moved to the city,

and your dad went to art school,

and that's where we started dreaming together.

Don't judge the drawing.

There we are. That's you.

- That is me. Very young me.

- Dad wanted to be a rock star?

- He did, yeah. Among other things.

- Why didn't he?

- Well, he was busy looking after you lot.

- Oh.

Which let me go after my dreams.

- You made a space station?

- Oh, no, I didn't. I invented a fridge.

But one day a space station.

Oh... [laughs]

- Is that... Grandma?

- It is, yeah.

It's funny, I'd forgotten I'd drawn that.

- You got her face wrong.

- Yeah, it's probably 'cause she's smiling.

- Yeah. [Polly laughs]

- All I ever wanted to do was to... well, make her proud.

That's the thing about dreams, isn't it?

Sometimes they just don't come true.

No matter how hard you wish for them.

Oh, now...

This is the one I want to show you.

Now, your dad and I,

we drew this before any of you were even born,

because one of our dreams

was that we'd live here, in the countryside,

living off the land, with hopefully a happy family.

You guys, basically.

There we are.

- But why am I a girl?

- Oh yeah.

Well, like I said, you can't have everything, can you?

[laughter]

I wanted you guys to know why we're here.

Look, I, I know it's been hard.

And mad.

But your dad and I just felt like

we were all growing apart, and that maybe...

A place like this

would help to bring us all back together again.

Maybe it's worked.

Do you remember the last time we did this?

- I don't think we've ever done this.

[hopeful music]

[♪♪]

- Any jars, anyone?

Spare jars?

[soft music]

[rock music]

- Aargh!

Hm...

[exclaiming]

[indistinct chatter]

- It's the dirtiest glove in the whole world!

[mumbles]

- Guys, it's from Silky!

The Land of Dreams is at the top of the tree today.

- Today? Okay.

Come on, guys, let's go now!

- Joe, we've got to finish this.

- We will. Land of Dreams tonight!

[Fran]: Yes! [Joe]: Tonight!

- Here we go! - Let's go.

Come on, we've got this.

- Hey!

[shouting and laughing]

- Mm!

Best pasta sauce yet, Dad.

- It is the climate, just like Italy,

where my forefathers...

- Oh no!

- ...they tilled the land with their bare hands!

- You're not Italian, you fool.

- We haven't even been to Italy.

- Why is my pasta sauce so good, huh?

- Spaghetti race, me and you.

- Three, two... one!

- Go! - Go, go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go!

- Race, race, race, race, spaghetti.

- Come on, Fran, you've gotta beat him.

[kids grunt, laughter]

- Why aren't they coming back?

- I thought they quite liked us.

- Don't worry, everyone. 'Course they're coming back.

- Hm.

[soft music]

[snoring]

They're not coming back, are they?

- I told you.

They always forget about us when they grow up.

Well, best we forget about them too.

Come on.

[owl hooting]

[wind whistling]

Dad!

Someone from the DeCanio's is coming to the launch today!

- What? - What?

- They're the biggest tomato sauce company in the world.

- Hey, if they like your sauce,

then we can pay off this place in no time!

- Well, alright. Does anyone wanna help me

harvest some really juicy tomatoes?

- Yeah! [Tim laughs]

- Okay, let's go!

Let's get tomatoes.

[singing]: Let's get tomatoes, let's get tomatoes, hey, hey!

[Tim]: Okay! Drumroll please, Joe!

[taps rhythmically]

- Trumpet, Fran!

Hey!

[dramatic music]

No, no... No, no, no, no, no!

How?

I don't understand.

- They were fine yesterday.

- Maggots.

[Polly]: No... - Ruined. They're all ruined.

[Tim sighs] Okay.

Sorry, guys.

Adventure's over.

Better start packing.

I should probably tell the villagers

that the opening's off and, um...

the people from DeCanio's too.

- Wait. Can we have a couple of hours?

[Polly]: What for?

- If we can still get the farmer his money,

we can stay, right?

- Yeah, but... - Bethy, it's over, darling.

- I can't explain, just... trust me.

Please.

- Okay.

- Come on, let's go!

- Beth, where are you going?

- This is all my fault. - No, it's not!

- It is.

I made a stupid wish in the Land of Birthdays

for the tomatoes to fail so we could all go home.

- Alright then, it is your fault.

- Yes.

And why didn't you just reverse it?

- I wish I had, but I didn't.

So now I've gotta fix it.

Are you coming?

- Yeah. We're coming. - Yeah.

[uptempo music]

- You expect us to help you when you abandoned us?

- We didn't technically abandon you.

We were helping Mum and Dad.

- We're going to help them, Moonface.

They're our friends. - Who put you in charge?

- I did, Mr. Man... head!

[whispers]: Was that better, Beth?

- Getting there, Silky.

- Alright. What do you propose?

- Oom Boom Boom said there was a Land of Spells?

- Yes, a spell would do it.

- Yes, a spell that makes tomatoes better again.

- Good idea. Only problem is,

the Land of Spells is months away.

- Can we cross the lands ourselves?

- Completely impossible.

Or... Completely possible. - Oh!

- It's the Land of Know Alls at the top of the tree today.

If anyone were to know how to get to

the Land of Spells, it's them.

- You wish to cross the lands...

- To locate a magical spell...

- To save some tomatoes...

- So that your father can make his Italian pasta sauce.

- Which in turn will mean your house

and lands can be saved

from your evil grandma.

- But crossing the lands is very difficult.

- And for this reason, you have come to us,

the Know-Alls, for help.

- We know all of this, because...

- Because... - ...because

we are the Know-Alls.

[all, in canon]: Know-Alls.

- No, you know all that 'cause we just told you it.

- Alright, no need to get shirty!

- It's still... stuff we know.

- Look, we're in a hurry.

- Ah! You're in a hurry.

I can tell.

- I feel the hand of time weighs heavy

on your shoulders.

- A ticking clock, no less.

- You're doing it again!

- Now you're raising your voice at us.

- Shouting! - Losing your temper!

- Are we correct? [all three kids]: Yes!

- That's why they call us the Know-Alls!

[in canon]: Know-Alls.

[high-pitched]: Know-Alls!

- Do you know a way to cross the lands or not?

[all laughing] - Of course. What a question.

- We know. - Of course we know.

- We know everything. - Tell me, then.

- Er...

- Um...

- Er, yes...

- There's a land hopping machine in the next room.

- There. Come on, everybody.

[clicking, beeping, whirring]

[Joe]: Whoa! It's just like the plane in Mind Blast.

- Mind Blast? - We are looking good.

Buckle up, guys.

Whoa!

- Oh no! - Whoo!

[Joe]: I can fly!

Whoo-hoo!

- Oh, we're not going in there, are we?

[sizzling, crackling]

- Look, there are the others. Maybe they've had more luck.

- Hey, guys!

- We found a plant growing spell.

- That's great.

- Yes, but the bad news is... He won't sell it to us.

- Why? - I don't know.

The idiot keeps on speaking in riddles.

- I don't believe in material objects, that's all.

This spell is a personal favourite of mine,

so I want something priceless

which cannot be bought or sold.

- Oh, forget about it! Come on!

- Alright. - Moony,

there's a good bloke over here.

He's got a good stall. - Yeah, yeah.

- Wait!

- What? - I've got an idea.

[explosion in the distance]

- No. Absolutely no.

- You've got to be joking.

- Fine. I'll do it myself then.

- Fine.

♪ We're a rootin' tootin' family ♪

♪ Together we're a home

♪ When you're with your family ♪

♪ You're never alone

[Joe and Beth join in]: ♪ Oh

♪ We're together come rain or shine ♪

♪ So clap your hands and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in and sing the family song ♪

♪ We're a rootin' tootin' family ♪

♪ Together we're a home

♪ And when you're with your family ♪

♪ You're never alone

♪ Oh

♪ We're together come rain or shine ♪

♪ So clap your hands and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in and sing the family song ♪

♪ Sing the family song

♪ We're a rootin' tootin' family together we're a home ♪

♪ And when you're with your family you're never alone ♪

♪ You're never alone

♪ Oh

♪ We're together come rain or shine ♪

♪ Come rain or shine

♪ Come rain or shine

♪ So clap your hands and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in and sing the family song ♪

♪ We'll sing the family song

♪ So clap your hands and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in and sing the family song ♪

♪ We'll sing the family song ♪♪

- Yeah, that was, um...

...beautiful.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

[rumble of thunder]

[plane engine roaring]

- Moonface, which way back to the Faraway Tree?

- Um, right. - Right.

- No, wait. - What?

- Bear left.

- Left? - No, wait, bear right.

- That makes no sense!

- No. Left. Definitely left.

- Are you sure?

- You can trust me, tiny human.

[alarm beeping]

- Whoa!

- What's happening? - We're losing power.

We must be out of fuel. - It doesn't have fuel.

- As an aviation expert, I think the plane is tired.

- Tired?

We mustn't let it get over tired,

or it'll have a midair tantrum and it won't be good.

- Wait, what's that sound?

[snoring] - It's snoring.

- It says it's asleep.

- It just needs a rest.

- Wait, I see a land. I'll bring it down.

[brakes squealing]

[Silky]: Ah, this land seems lovely.

- If you say so. - This place is creepy.

- There are no bad lands, are there?

- There's one.

Dame Washalot told me about it, said it was like a prison.

What was it called, the Land of, er...

- Dame Snap?

Welcome...

All you new pupils, to my school, and so keen.

I didn't even have to lure you here,

you just walked right into it,

like so many little flies, into a spider's...

[fly grunts] ...web.

Oh... [crunches]

- Ew.

- Poor fly.

- There's no need for that. - Right.

I'm in the mood for some music, aren't you?

Off you go.

[indistinct chatter]

- Wait, no, we don't have time for this!

[vocalizing]: Ah... [wrong note]

♪ If you go down in the woods today ♪

♪ You're sure of a big... surprise ♪

♪ If you go down in the woods today ♪

♪ You'd better go in disguise... ♪

[Silky]: What's happening?

♪ For every bear that ever there was... ♪

[Moonface]: I'm not quite sure.

♪ ...will gather there for certain ♪

♪ Because today's the day ♪

♪ The teddy bears have their picnic ♪

[laughs]

Did you just laugh at me?

[laughs] - No.

- Do you... do you want...

do you want a slap?

- Oh. - Ooh.

- Ooh.

- That used to be my name, you know.

Dame Slap.

But not anymore, 'cause the school inspector

came and said that I wasn't allowed

to hit my pupils anymore.

[chuckles]

But he doesn't come to this school anymore, does he?

- And neither do the children. - And neither do the children.

- Because it's a bad school. - Because it's a ba...

No, it's not a bad school, is it? No.

It's the pupils that are bad!

- But you don't even know us.

- Alright then.

Let's get to know you then, shall we?

You. Beardy weirdo.

What's your name?

- Oh, hm, I don't know.

- What? - Sorry, Miss,

I don't know my name.

- Are you pulling my chain?

- No, it's not gonna rain, it's sunny outside.

- I am going to snap.

I mean it. - Alright...

- So, one more time. What is your name?

- It's on the tip of my tongue.

Er, my name is...

Sss.... du... cst...

No, I don't know.

- Three days' detention, out!

- Detention?

- Where's he going?

- Right, anyone else?

Detention? - Uh-uh.

- No? - Yes.

Get out!

- Beth! What are you doing?

- We've gotta get back, remember?

We have a better chance of escaping detention than here.

- Ah.

- Ooh, no, no.

- Who threw that?

- I did!

- Right.

Detention, right now!

- Thank you.

- Out, out, out!

[clears throat] - Miss?

- Yes?

- I think you're one of the best teachers

in the universe.

I have a question.

Come a little bit closer.

[farts loudly]

- That's disgusting!

Get out!

[Moonface farts]

- Ah...

- What is happening? Get out!

- With pleasure. - Oh, Moony.

- Oh, Miss? [high-pitched fart]

- Is it just me or does it smell of roses in here?

- Get out of my classroom, pot head!

- Is anyone hungry?

Because I've been sitting on this pile of rotten vegetables

which might be quite nice.

- Urgh. - Great plan, Beth.

Get put in prison.

- Well, why don't you think of another plan, then?

- Well, I could.

I am the best in all the lands at coming up with plans,

but I don't want to. - Why?

- Because I'm done helping humans.

I told you we should never have let humans

back in our lives.

They come as children.

"Oh, let's play all day in the sunshine.

And we'll remember you forever."

But then they grow up and they forget all about you.

- That's just the way it is, Moonface.

It has to be that way.

- It's true, Moony.

Only children believe in magic.

- Hm. - Grown-ups always forget.

- Our dad didn't.

He used to live around here,

and he said the woods were full of fairies

and pixies and joy and wonder.

And he was right.

- What's his name?

- Tim. Tim Thompson.

[gasps]

- Timmy?

- You knew him? - Oh yes.

- Yes, we loved him.

Especially Moonface, but...

One day he just stopped coming.

- We thought he'd forgotten us.

- Mm.

- But he didn't...

he came back.

He came back after all.

Right.

Plan. What's the hardest rotten thing on that pile?

- This potato.

- Good. Joe, growing spell, please.

- Hey, not all of it.

- Don't worry, there's plenty left. It's strong stuff.

- Leave this to me, Moony.

Saucepans are the perfect protection

in a situation like this.

Right. Okie-doke.

Fire in the hole! - Everyone get behind Saucy!

- You really are good at plans.

- Of course.

- Do you think I just make these things up?

Who wants to get out of prison?

- I do!

- Let's go! - Nice!

Faster, faster!

- Get to the land hopper!

- No! It can't be...

- Wakey-wakey! - Rise and shine time!

- Wake up, plane! - Wake up!

- Argh! Argh!

Aaaaargh!

[shout resonates]

- It's awake! She's woken it up!

- It's working, it's working! [epic music]

- Come on, let's go! - Hurry!

- Argh!

No, no, no!

- Go, go, go!

- She's coming out of the gate.

- She's coming!

- She doesn't look very happy!

- Come on, Joe, you can do it!

- Aaaargh!

- Oh! - Whoo!

[shouting]

[pants]

[dry chuckle]

- Whoo! - Yeah!

- I knew she wouldn't give up on us!

[laughter] - Bye-bye, Snappy!

- Oh!

[clamouring in the distance]

- Oh, dear, what's that?

No! No, sorry!

Sorry, sorry!

The grand launch is cancelled!

There's no tomato sauce here today, I'm sorry!

It's all a mess. It's all bad. It's all rotten.

My children were supposed to...

were supposed to send a message.

[tense music]

- Beth!

- Stop!

[sizzling]

- Please, please! - I'm so, so, sorry, please!

They failed, my plants,

they failed, it's all failed, I'm sorry!

- What are you talking about, failed?

They's beautiful.

- Aye, they's beautos, mate.

- What on Earth? - I...

[soft music]

[laughing softly]

[Tim whispers]: I have no idea what you did.

- Thank you!

- We didn't really do anything.

- Come here.

[music swelling]

[music continues]

[indistinct chatter]

[man speaks Italian]

- Ah, buongiorno. Parli italiano?

- Si. - Ah!

[Tim speaks Italian]

[lively violin music]

- Do you think they'll stay?

- I'm sure they will.

Or my name's not...

Hey, guys...

I've remembered my name!

- What is it then?

- It's... It's...

It's...

No, it's gone again.

- But wait.

Where's Moonface?

- Oh.

[lively violin music]

- Hey, Beth. - Hi, Beth.

- Phones in the scratchel, please.

Scratchel, screen satchel.

- Scratchel?

Um, I love it, it's so rural.

- Whoa. Everything looks so cool here, Beth.

- Wait 'til you see what's in the wood.

Come on. I'll show you around.

[soft music]

- Welcome home, Timmy.

- Moonface...

[gasps with emotion]

[chuckles]

[soft music]

[soft music continues]

[epic music]

- But he has not won yet.

I will get them back to the city

if it is the last thing I do.

- Bye-bye, my lovers.

- Laters, potaters.

- Don't speak to them. Don't speak to them!

- So much fun messing with city folk, darling.

- Ah, big time. So much fun.

- Fancy a dance?

- Don't mind if I do.

[folk country song]

- Yee-haw! Whoo-ooh! Round 'em, cowboy! Where am I?

[soft music]

- Would you like some wine?