Original subtitles

[quacking]

[high-pitched whirring]

[hisses]

[whirring continues]

[booming]

[opening theme song playing]

♪ Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends ♪

♪ We'll go To very distant lands ♪

♪ With Jake the Dog And Finn the Human ♪

♪ The fun will never end ♪

♪ Adventure Time ♪

[whispering] Side quests.

[dramatic music playing]

[thunderclap]

It was a dark and stormy night...

[all gasp]

...just like this...

[thunderclap]

[Stan, dramatically] All I had was my wits, my weapons,

and my strictly defined gender norms.

And then... it was upon me!

It thrashed its many limbs, gnashed its countless teeth!

It knocked away my weapons!

But I didn't falter.

I mounted the creature,

grabbed its head betwixt my trembling hands,

and with a single yoink...

smote the great golden beast!

[all gasp]

[Stan] Blood!

Blood glistening down my sinewy arms...

[Jake] I bet you're wondering how I got up here.

Well it wasn't anything like that.

Hup! Boulder routine!

Huup! Into sparrow dive!

[birds squawking]

Into the hole!

-[birds screeching] -Outta the hole!

Into cartwheels!

Into backflips!

Backflips into...

Hup! Tree routine!

[grunting]

-[grunts] -[leaves rustling]

Triple cloudy!

[yells] Whoa!

Standard dismount!

Ah!

[panting heavily]

Okay. Haiya!

[groaning]

[Finn] Boulder routine.

Sparrow dive!

-[birds screeching] -[yells]

Out of the hole.

Tree routine.

[grunts, groans]

Almost had it.

[Jake chuckles] One more and you've got "gwonkle".

How come you're so bad at tree stuff?

Eh. Guess I'm a ground person.

All right, I'm ready for the next one!

All right man, keep your shirt on.

[suspenseful music playing]

[huffing]

[Stan whispers] Exquisite.

With this mightiest of beasts as my trophy,

I'll be the ultimate hunter.

[laughs evilly]

And cambre!

You sure you wanna try this one?

I am sure of nothing.

-[dramatic music plays] -Fsst!

-[whispers] Rats! -Uh... Hey, man.

What are you doing?

[whispering] Fsst! Rats!

[whispering] Fsst! Rats!

[whispering] Fsst! Rats!

Uh, what's this guy's deal?

[Stan whispering] Rats! Rats!

Cut it out! Leave us alone!

[whispering] Rats!

Hmm.

Beasts.

All right, let's just finish our game up there.

Good idea.

That rats guy seems like a real ground person.

Nah, that's okay. I got it.

Okay, suit yourself.

[Finn grunts, groans]

Darn! [strains, grunts] Darn!

Here, let me just...

[whooshing]

Come on man, I almost had it.

I know, I know.

Okay! For this one,

start by getting a little rhythm going.

-[dramatic music playing] -What the...

[Stan whispering] Rats!

-Ow! -[both laughing]

-Self pwn, self pwn! -[laughs]

Serves you right for throwing

dorky knickknacks at us, ya Melvin!

[Stan sobbing]

Oops. He's crying.

We didn't even drag him that hard.

He must be really sensitive.

-Let's go apologize. -Mmm-hmm.

[Finn panting]

[panting and straining]

Hey Finn, come on, let me just...

No, no, I got this, I got this!

I'll be down in a minute.

Okay, suit yourself.

[straining, groaning]

[Stan sobbing]

[sobbing louder]

Hey, what's up, uh...

It's Stan.

Hey, Stan. I'm Jake the Wonder Dog, etc.

And in absentia is my good friend Finn,

boy regular.

Um. look, we didn't mean to hurt your feelings, man.

But what are you doing?

I'm hunting you! [sobbing]

Oh, okay. That's cool.

Um, can I ask why?

Because it's my family's whole thing.

They're all ruthless hunters.

My dad, my oldest brother, my second oldest brother,

and my third oldest brother.

I thought if I... if I bag an exquisite beast like you,

it would finally prove to them I'm a real hunter.

Right, right.

Okay. Well, how come you're using,

like, weird little bespoke weapons?

Why not just clubs and spears and stuff?

Clubs and sp... [scoffs]

Because I'm an artist!

Oh, here we go.

I don't even want to be a hunter!

It's just... [sighs] if I don't prove myself to my dad

and my brothers, they'll revoke my right to the family cabin,

and that's where I write all my secret poetry.

Hmm, actually I get that.

It's important to have a safe space to make art.

I tell ya what, I'll do you a solid.

You can pretend you ruthlessly hunted me down

and show off my fake dead body to your brothers.

And then I'll just, like, leave after they leave or whatever.

-Easy peasy. -[flies buzzing]

Wait, really? You'd do that?

Yeah man, one artist to another.

Plus, Finn will be up there a while

and I can't really be alone.

Thanks Jake, you're a really good dog.

I know it. Okay, Finn,

I'm gonna go help this guy self-actualize.

[grunts] I'll be back in the morning.

-Probably for the best... -[pants]

[Jake] ...if you just sleep up there.

Okay, Finn.

Your individualism has become toxic.

Jake. I'm ready to accept help. [gasps]

[Jake speaking indistinctly]

[dramatic music playing]

[screams] Jake!

Oh, my glob! That guy played us.

He was just pretending to be pathetic to split us up

so he could kidnap Jake and eat him.

Hang on, Jake. [grunting]

[dramatic music continues playing]

I'm coming!

-Backpack parachute! -[music ends]

[grunts] Come on, come on, come on, come on!

[door creaks]

[Stan] Hello?

[gasps] Looks like nobody's home.

Whoa! That's a lot of heads!

Yup. This one here was slain by my oldest brother Teddy.

He, like my dad, loves big game.

Um, this one was caught by my brother Gup,

the second oldest.

He's the fisher of the group.

And this, I...

well, I... I don't know where Tony found this.

Supposedly, he likes cute stuff?

Great intros, Stan.

All right. Why don't you go work on your

how-you-caught-me story.

Oh, of course!

I'm going to make it... [whispers] super poetic.

Heh. Okay, buddy.

Oh, wood for heads.

[yelling]

Huh? [screams, grunts]

Leave no trace!

I'm comin', Jake!

It was a dark and...

[thunder rumbling]

...stormy night...

[rustling in distance]

Huh?

[gasps] A bear!

Bear... Scare... Fair...

Brothers?

Brothers!

[screams]

Brother alert!

[groans] They're here!

[Jake] Hold on.

I'm just adding the finishing touches.

-[Stan] No time. -Whoa!

Do you know what bear is bigger than a grizzly bear?

Two grizzly bears!

[all laughing]

Teddy's got jokes!

Huh? Brothers, is that...

Jake the Magic Dog?

Jake the Magic Dog!

I can't wait to hear how Dad slayed him.

Nah-uh. I slew him.

On a dark and stormy night.

[laughs] Stan's got jokes.

I slew him, man. Gosh!

[brothers gasping, cheering]

We knew you were a hunter at heart!

Now you gotta tell us how you bagged that beast.

[door creaks]

[panting]

Jake, I'm here to save you, buddy. Huh?

[dramatic music playing]

[voice trembling] Jake?

Who's that?

You killed him.

So I'll have to kill you back.

All because I...

I suck at tree!

[yelling]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Finn! It's me. I'm alive.

-Yay! [relieved sigh] -[Jake laughs]

-[brothers growl] -[Stan groans]

Can we go back to playing gwonkle now?

Sure. Just me five seconds

to wrap up this little situation here.

Hey, hunter brothers.

You guys gotta be nicer to Stan, man.

I said nicer.

[both screaming]

[brothers yelling]

Brothers, stop. I'm so sorry.

You don't get to "brother" us.

[both grunting]

[Stan sobbing]

Stan?

Stan, you don't gotta hide, buddy.

-[sobbing] -You just gotta be yourself.

Slam some poetry on those brothers.

Show 'em who you are.

Stan! Huh?

[bear grunts]

Get outta here, bear, there a hunter afoot.

What'd I say, bear? I thought I told you.

Huh? [grunts] What's the deal? Whoa!

[growling]

-[roaring] -[Jake screaming]

Okay. You guys ready to talk about Stan now?

[Teddy] Quiet, future-head-on-a-wall.

[grunts]

If you don't let him be himself,

you're gonna lose him.

[screams] My doggy senses!

[both grunting]

[Stan] Bros. Bros, bros, bros!

-Please stop. -Stanley?

[groans] Whatever.

This had to happen

-sooner or later. -[groans]

[Stan straining]

Now, slay the Jake.

Stan, you don't have to listen to--

No, Stan. For family.

[brothers] For family!

[whimpering]

Never!

I'm not a hunter, brothers. I'm a poet.

-What's a poet? -Mmm...

All right, Stan. We'll do it for you...

once again.

[distorted screaming]

Stan!

[Stan groaning]

Oh, Stan. I'm so sorry.

Come back to us.

[clears throat]

There is so much meaning

in a red wheelbarrow glazed with rainwater

beside his big brothers.

-That's... -Poetry.

I was gonna say confusing.

But we are his big brothers.

And we will support his po-tree stuff... words,

-even if Dad doesn't. -Yeah!

Whatever, Dad. Rats are cool.

That's the spirit.

No one's hunting Jake.

[yelling]

Run Jake, run! Huh?

You really missed the plot today.

No! This bearskin and bones was a gift for Dad!

And he's coming tonight!

Okay. What do we do?

-Huh? -Hmm.

[thunderclap]

[Hunter Father] Jake the Dog.

And "F the H"?

[laughs] Wow!

That's my boys.

[brothers] Yes, sir!

Now, tell me how you did it.

-Go on, Stan. -Use your pottery.

Well...

It was a dark and stormy night...

[thunderclap]

[Jake] And that's how I got here.

[Finn breathes raspily]

[spray hisses]

[closing theme song playing]

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ And the butterflies And bees ♪

♪ We can wander Through the forest ♪

♪ And do so as we please ♪