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credits

So I say to Wendy, I'm like,

what do you want for your birthday, right?

And you know what she says?

She says she wants anti-aging face cream.

What?

Why the hell does Wendy want anti-aging face cream?

I mean, she's ten.

That's what I said.

It's crazy, bro.

All these girls at school are trying to look younger.

They watch these TikToks of skin products

and they have apps that rate their faces.

Bro, thank God guys don't have to deal with that stuff.

Kyle? Kyle!

Dude, you gotta come quick.

Your little brother's getting mogged in the hallway.

He's getting what?

Some Chad called your little brother cringe,

and now they're having an aura battle.

There's a what?

God damn it, Kyle,

some kid tried to mog your little brother,

but it turned into an aura battle.

You gotta do something!

A hell of an aura battle

still going on here in South America.

Ike Broflovski and Noah Bailey going toe to toe.

Noah is, of course,

an impressive 8.9 on the looksmaxxing app,

and Ike comes into the battle today at just under 9.5.

Noah Bailey aura farming with his perfect hair.

Oh, and Ike Broflovski has just taken off his shirt.

Ike's really handing it to him now.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on here?

Ike, put your shirt back on.

That's it.

The aura battle has been called.

Ike Broflovski, the winner of this match.

Thanks for watching the "South America Glazing" livestream,

and be sure to check out today's sponsor, Sephora.

We belong to something beautiful.

Mom, Dad, I think you need

to talk to your son about aura farming.

Talk to him about what?

It's this thing at school.

Ike's doing aura battles,

so he's trying to maximize his looks.

See? Ike's rubbing ice on his face

to de-bloat it so his cheekbones look sharper.

Stop playing with your drink, Ike.

He's gonna do another aura battle tomorrow,

but he's mixing it with looksmaxxing,

and it's a bad combination.

I don't understand what you're talking about.

Ike, are you obsessed about how you look?

Your mom asked you a question, Ike.

He can't answer it 'cause he's mewing.

- He's what? - He's mewing.

He's pushing his tongue up against the roof of his mouth

because he thinks it will strengthen his jawline.

Kyle, that doesn't make any sense.

I know it doesn't make any sense.

That's why you need to talk to your son!

He's too young to be worried about his looks.

Hey, Stan, what are you doing?

Are you watching porn?

No. I'm doing a looksmaxxing app.

Oh, OK.

Is that porn?

No, it's this thing kids at school are doing.

- It says I have bad skin. - What?

It uses AI to rate

the symmetry of your facial features

and then shows you exercises you can do

and products you can buy to improve your skin.

Do I have bad skin?

Stan, if you want to look good,

then you get out there on a bicycle like me

and you put in the work.

And if you want better skin, you just eat right, OK?

I think you should get off of that app.

Just watch some porn or something, all right?

The hell?

What's up, guys? Peter Mullen's here once again

with a South America aura battle livestream.

We're bringing you all the coverage

on the epic showdown that just happened this morning

with Ike Broflovski out-mogging Noah Bailey four to one.

Ike, that was a hell of a showing.

Your cheekbones looked incredible.

Yeah, I felt really good out there, Peter.

Noah has a pretty strong jawline,

but luckily for me, his eyebrows suck.

Ike, your aura really seems to be peaking.

How do you do it?

A lot of face creams, Peter.

A lot of training.

Gotta be ready for whoever's next.

Well, actually, we do know who's next.

The SA aura battle livestream can confirm

that Ike Broflovski has just been challenged

to an aura battle

by fourth-grader Chase Chadwick.

What? Chase Chadwick?

Chase, of course, the only person

to ever get a perfect score on Chadmaxx.

Oh, shit!

The fight is scheduled for recess tomorrow.

Catch it all on my livestream,

and remember there's some things money can't buy.

For everything else, there's Mastercard.

Oh, shit!

This is gonna be a bloodbath, dude.

Chase Chadwick has a perfectly symmetrical face.

Total hunter eyes.

He's the kid whose mom let him

get a nose job when he was four.

What are you gonna do, Kyle?

I'm not gonna do anything. This is all stupid.

Stupid?

Have you seen Chase Chadwick's skin?

It's literally flawless.

Well, it's not like bad skin really matters, right?

I'm not gonna let Ike aura battle.

Not let him aura battle?

Kyle, that'll make everyone think

that Ike has just been aura farming this whole time.

Kids are gonna call your little brother cringe.

Yep, they will.

Look, like it or not, Kyle,

coolness and looks really matter at this school.

- Hey, Wendy. - Oh, hey, Stan.

Um, you know that face cream stuff you wanted?

I was thinking maybe we can go get you some.

Really? You wanna take me?

Yeah, I thought we could pick you up some stuff.

OK. Thanks!

This is so nice of you, Stan. I really appreciate it.

Yeah, no problem. So where are we going?

Right here.

Holy shit.

This is a hydrating cream

that'll help with your wrinkles.

What do you think? You like that on your face?

Yeah? You like that on your face, don't you?

This should help reduce the bags under your eyes.

How does that feel?

Yeah? You like that?

You like that on your face?

Yeah, let's get some more of that on your face.

Wendy?

I wouldn't go in there if I were you.

Something not right in there.

My granddaughter wanted to go to Brandy Melville.

Then she asked if she could just stop in the Sephora.

That was 6 1/2 years ago.

There's something in there men can't understand.

Wendy?

Oh, hey, Stan. Right over here.

Wendy?

Wendy?

I don't think I like it here.

Uh, Wendy, could we maybe go now?

Wendy, I think maybe that's enough time at Sephora.

God damn it, Kyle, pick up your phone.

It's important.

Dude, you need to talk to your friend.

Because Ike needs help with his aura battle, that's why!

What do you mean, you don't care?

I mean, I don't care.

I just spent 17 hours at Sephora,

and when I came out, it had only been 13 minutes.

What are you talking about?

I'm saying I'm done, dude.

My dad was right.

If you want to look good,

you just need exercise and a proper diet.

I'm going back to doing dude stuff.

Oh, hey, Stan.

How's it going, bud?

Dad?

Yeah?

What the hell--wait.

Did you go to Sephora?

Did I--did I what?

No, why do you think I went to Sephora?

Because you look a lot younger.

Oh, thanks.

I've just been, you know,

riding my bike a lot, eating right.

No, Dad, I think you went to Sephora.

Stan, your dinner's almost-- whoa!

Randy?

What the hell did you do?

He went to Sephora.

No, I did not go to Sephora.

I took Shelley to Sephora, and I waited outside.

No, you got stuck in the back rooms of Sephora

and now nothing makes any sense.

The only thing not making sense is you guys, OK?

If you don't mind, I'm gonna have some Cocoa Puffs and beer.

Good morning, South America.

The big day has arrived,

and Chase Chadwick is getting ready

for his aura battle with Ike Broflovski.

Chase, how do you feel about your chances?

I'm the coolest,

best-looking guy in the school,

and it's time for people to stop glazing

Ike Broflovski.

Broflovski's totally cringe, and I'm gonna prove it.

Should be an epic battle coming up later today,

right after fifth period.

God damn it.

I guess... you're pretty scared, huh?

Yeah...

pretty scared.

Well, look.

I know you probably wish you had a big brother

that would help you out right now, but...

don't be mad at Kyle.

I'm sure that, deep down,

your brother wants to help, OK?

Maybe he just--

he just doesn't know how.

And he's a Jew.

Yeah.

I mean... if I had a little brother,

he'd be my special little guy, but Kyle's just--

he's got a lot on his plate, you know?

Matza balls, bagels, kosher latkes--

lot on his plate.

Look, Ike, what I'm trying to say is,

I don't think, just because your brother

doesn't understand your generation,

that he doesn't love you.

I can't beat him, can I?

Chase Chadwick?

No, I don't think you can beat him.

But what matters is that we have you looking

as good as possible when it happens.

Maybe...

Maybe I can help you prepare for the aura battle.

Really? You will?

There's nothing wrong with losing,

as long as you look good doing it.

Oh, thank you!

Thank you, big brother.

It's all right.

Let's just get you prepared.

OK, children, let's take our seats.

Uh, where is Eric Cartman?

Does anyone know where Eric Cartman is?

Yes, Bebe?

Um, who cares?

Oh, OK.

Uh, well, children, before we get started today,

I want to address all the aura farming

that's been going on here in South America.

Thank you! Finally!

You know, there's been a lot of talk

of who's cool and looks good and who's faking it,

and I thought we could apply that

to our lesson on people in history.

Abraham Lincoln. What you think?

Did he have a good aura, or was he cringe?

He did some good things, but he was probably cringe.

What about Martin Luther King? What do we think?

Maybe a little cringe at the end there?

Little cringe? Yes, Kyle?

I think we should stop rating looks and coolness

so that companies stop preying on people's insecurities.

What's up, dudes?

Oh, no.

Dad, what the hell are you doing?

They're saying, 'cause I'm younger,

now I got to go to school.

No, Dad, you are not going to my school.

That's what I said!

But fucking Mom is all like, "You did this to yourself!

You wanted to look younger. Now you can just go to school!"

Stan, what is going on?

God damn it.

My dad went to Sephora, all right?

All right, children.

We can welcome the new kid later.

Let's get back to the lesson.

Amelia Earhart.

Pretty cringe. What do you think?

Yes, new kid.

Is there any way I could get a beer?

OK, it's right in here somewhere.

I'm taking you to the place

where all the chicks go to look their very best.

Since it's a school day, this place should be dead.

Ah, here it is.

Oh, my God!

Wow!

Sephora!

You don't want to go in there.

Six years,

I been waitin', watchin',

while that Sephora gets bigger.

Used to be an Orange Julius next to it...

but the Sephora ate it.

Cool. Thank you.

This is de-aging cream.

It's really milky and pearlescent.

What do you think? You like that?

You like that on your face?

Yeah, you like that on your face, don't you?

See how it's sort of thick and creamy?

Yeah, you like that? You like that on your face?

You want some more of that on your face?

Yeah, you like that, don't you?

All right, we got to make this quick

and get back to school.

Can I help you guys find anything?

Yeah, my friend has an aura battle this afternoon,

so he needs to look and smell like a total Chad.

Oh, OK.

Well, that's a good face cream you've got there.

That'll open up your pores

and help you look a little younger.

What do you think? You like that?

- Yeah! - Yeah?

You like that on your face? Great.

You like that on your face, don't you?

You want some more of that?

It's $89.95.

Whoa! Holy crap!

Can we maybe just get some free samples?

Well, sure, we got some things I can give you.

This one's a little white and pearlescent.

You like that? You like that on your face?

Yeah, I like that.

It's sort of warm, isn't it?

Yeah, that's hot.

I like it on my fucking face.

Well, hey, if you guys want to sample

a lot of face creams, we can take you

to the back rooms to meet the manager.

Pre-show battle here with Butters Stotch

facing off against Scott Malkinson.

They're doing their best, but honestly,

it's all pretty cringe.

Everyone, of course, just waiting for the main event

of Ike Broflovski

versus Chase Chadwick,

and so far, Ike is a no-show,

proving he may have just

been aura farming

this entire time.

I--I feel like I've been a crappy brother.

Am I just a crappy brother?

No, dude, you're not a crappy brother.

I told Ike not to battle.

I didn't think the school would react like this.

Well, we warned you, Kyle.

You got to go find your brother

and at least tell him to show up.

Oh, hey! Party in the shitter!

Hey, can I ask you guys something?

What's, uh--

what's up with that Bebe chick?

- Ew! Dad! - What?

I'm just asking what's up with her, gah!

Dad, your breath!

Have you been drinking? - Ugh!

I had one shot of Jager during Humanities!

Go away, Dad!

Kyle's having a crisis with his little brother.

Oh, you mean Ike?

Cartman took him to Sephora.

- He what? - Yeah.

Craig told Bebe that Ike went to Sephora with Cartman

and that it made Red down-low kind of jelly.

- Oh, that's bad! - Why's that bad?

Dude, we got to go! Come on!

Here! This is it.

Well, come on. Let's ask if anyone's seen him.

Don't do it!

Don't you see men can't go in there?

Time's got no meanin'.

Come on!

Ike? Cartman?

Ike?

- Ike? - Ike?

Cartman?

Oh, my God.

Oh, hey, Kyle. What's up?

What the hell is going on?

Sorry, Kyle.

I took your little brother to Sephora.

They kind of fucked up how he looks.

They, uh, took us to the back rooms

to give us samples.

I think maybe anti-aging creams are bad for young people.

Uh-oh. - Oh, no!

Here she comes, you guys.

When she comes, just tell her you like it in the face.

What?

Got some more samples!

You want that on your face?

Aargh! Aww!

Let's get the fuck out of here!

Untie me, Stan!

You like that on your face?

Run! Run!

Go, go, go!

Free sample...

on your face!

Come on!

- Oh. - Oh! Oh, my God!

Oh, we did it.

Oh, thank God.

I am never going in that place again!

Grandpa!

Oh, Jesus, Polly!

You took forever!

Sorry, Grandpa. Oh, crap!

Can I just run in and get one more thing?

All right, one more thing.

But make it quick.

Oh, no...

I'm so cringe.

Ike?

Ike, it's gonna be OK.

Your face'll go back to normal.

It's just... gonna take some time.

I'm sorry for not being there for you.

I get it now that you have to aura battle,

or else you're gonna be cringe.

So let's go and face that kid,

and then whatever the other kids want to say about you,

well, your big brother's gonna have your back.

Anticipation in the air,

and a totally packed school hallway

as Ike Broflovski has finally shown up

for the aura battle against Chase Chadwick.

People were starting to wonder.

Kyle, where has your brother been?

We were just, uh, making sure

he was prepared, Peter.

My little brother's been working on a perfect rizz face.

And by showing up to this battle,

he has proved that he is not just aura farming.

Definitely strong words.

Let's hope your brother can back 'em up.

I'm talkin' about in it!

Clock it!

What you got? You've got nothin'!

'Cause everyone knows

I'm the hottest guy in our school!

Yeah, I don't think so!

If you're gonna mog-off with anyone,

it can be with me!

Who the hell is that?

God damn it.

I'm here to stand up for my friend Kyle!

And yes, I have had a few beers,

and I'm a little drunk.

Dad, get out of here!

Step away, kid!

You're totally cringe!

And your eyes are too far apart!

SIUUUU! - Oh, yeah?

Well, how about we just handle this old-school?

Ow! Oh! Ah!

This is how Gen X handles shit,

you little fucking bitch!

Ah! Oh!

Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Break it up.

Break it up!

Look at your fucking face now!

That's it!

You're goin' to the principal's office!

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was South America!

Isn't this South America?

I'm sorry, I thought this was South America!

credits