Original subtitles

Guys, I'm glad, you know, we've gathered here today for, we're gonna have a good

meal. This is gonna be fun.

I sure hope so, because so far it looks terrible.

What looks terrible? Dad, what the fuck are these?

What is this?

It's like iceberg lettuce.

Who puts these little fake pumpkins on it? Come on, she's trying her best.

Trying her best? Hey, just calm down, calm down. She opened a can.

She opened a can. That's her best. She dumped it on the table.

Watch. Watch.

She made salad. She made mashed potatoes.

It's terrible.

She's terrible.

Give her a break. None of the silverware is even clean.

I could never get your mom to do anything.

Yeah. But at least mom knew how to cook a dinner.

I mean, at least at Thanksgiving I came home and I got a nice turkey, some nice

cranberry, and some homemade. This is instant.

It's powder and shit.

Hunch, I need some help with the turkey.

Oh good, I'm starving.

Dad, go cut that up.

Give me a leg.

Will you just come help me with it really quick? Sure, sure.

I just need you to look at it. Okay.

Okay.

Look.

So, everything else is ready.

It's gonna be a little longer.

Did you just forget to preheat it? I mean, that'll take a little bit of time.

I think that might have been it. I just didn't preheat it. Well, I mean, the

skin won't be... What the fuck is that?

It's not even cooked!

It's not preheated. That's what it is. It's not even hot.

Did you even turn the oven on? Yeah, I... You didn't even take the neck out

of it!

Oh, I thought that was the penis.

Oh, my.

This is Thanksgiving.

This is Thanksgiving dinner.

So, but I turned this on.

And it's the same. The microwave timer.

You turned on the microwave timer to cook it.

It's all the same thing though. It's not even connected. Look at it.

It's all one unit.

Oh my god.

What are we going to have for dinner? I'm trying.

I'm really. I come home for one meal. One meal I come home for.

What in the world? I tried.

I'm trying as a dick. Chad.

Chad. Chad.

Chad. Seriously.

Do something.

I'm not coming home.

400 miles I drove to come home for Thanksgiving dinner for this? Alright.

Okay. Okay.

Let me take care of it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Relax.

Relax. We'll just order something out. Let me just go talk to her. It'll be

fine. Alright? Alright.

Oh, Nicole, Nicole.

It's okay.

I'm fine. I'm really fine. I think this was a huge mistake trying to cook

Thanksgiving dinner for this family and your dad. It's like not even helping. I

stepped in and I'm trying to like help and with his kids and I don't know what

to do with a turkey and an oven and a microwave.

He should have done it all. Don't even worry about it. I should have ordered

from that pie place.

Yeah. Yeah.

They would have just done it and catered it, huh? Yeah.

Yeah, you could have totally tricked him and everything. I know.

I guess it's okay, though, right? Yeah, don't worry about it. I mean, the

microwave and oven, they don't really, you know, touch each other, but it's

fine. You try.

But why do you even like my dad?

Yeah, he's really nice. He's really nice to me. He was really mean today. No, he

just wasn't helping at all. He just wasn't helping.

Otherwise, he's really nice. He takes care of me, and there's the security,

the financial security.

He's consistent. He's reliable.

Well, what about fun? I mean, he's not exactly sexy.

He's not. Well, that doesn't matter. Like, it's not about sexy.

I didn't meet him because he was attractive.

I met him because... He had money. That sounds really bad.

Yeah, that does a little bit. Yeah, it does.

Well then, so what do you do for fun?

I mean, is he really that fun in bed?

Not really.

So you're deprived?

I guess so.

I mean, there's the excitement and all the, you know, the fun.

I don't know.

I guess there's not a lot.

I mean, they are just probably going to order pizza and pass out drunk in front

of the TV.

Did they order pizza?

Probably. They're probably ordering it right now.

Okay.

Yeah, he's not very fun.

He's not.

And they're going to be busy probably for a while drinking and stuff. Yeah.

Kind of fun. Kind of fun.

I'm glad you're not upset about the spoiled Thanksgiving.

Thank you.

You're so hot.

Thank you.

Don't bet yourself, fun guy.

Oh, fuck.

What's going on down there?

I don't know. You should find out. I'm going to.

You're not going to tell your dad, are you?

No, I promise.

Oops, that was kind of loud.

Hopefully they don't hear downstairs.

Yeah, shh.

Sorry my hands are cold.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Wow. Yes.

You

like

that? I like that.

A lot. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck,

you have a nice pussy.

Thank you.

I'm glad you know what to do with it.

I've been so curious about you for so long.

Really? Yeah.

I don't think this is just the fun I was looking for.

Thank you.

That's a lot bigger than what I was expecting.

Oh yeah?

Having been with your dad, yeah.

you

Wow Oh my god

Thank you.

Much bigger than I was expecting.

about vegan pizza.