Original subtitles

[soft haunting music]

[screen swooshes]

[static crackles]

- [Narrator] In the year 5150, the once-desolate Earth

has joined a conglomerate of planets

that successfully host human, plant, and animal life.

With thriving colonies on Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and Uranus,

the future of all species in the galaxy seems assured.

However, as before, these worlds have been cowed

by nonstop pandemics.

Mostly lab-made viruses that have driven the human race

back into tightly-controlled lifestyles

of fear and paranoia,

all to benefit a scheming, nefarious state,

the intergalactic cabal of social engineers

dedicated to usurping happiness and freedom,

simply because they can, in the tireless pursuit

of breaking humanity's spirit

and enslaving not only the bodies,

but the minds of intellectuals

and actioneers throughout the cosmos.

So, while mankind did rebound, it did so at a cost.

By state mandate, no more would humans live unmasked.

Faces have now become a mystery.

No more smiles, no more expressions at all.

In public and in private, a cowed populace masks up.

And those who cannot be cowed are commanded by law.

In this new aggressive police state,

the human face itself has become an offensive relic

of the past, and yet there still exists the behemoths,

those out-sized agents of chaos,

belonging to long-gone eras of mystery and wonder.

In 5150, every celestial body has at least one

legendary creature that has traversed its ages,

uncaptured and unbowed.

Some never seen, and some once seen, never forgotten.

[deep ominous music]

[fire booms]

[fire swooshes]

[intense music swells]

[Kong roars]

- [Sherman] Martinez, help.

I can't move. I can't feel my legs.

- [Martinez] Don't move, Sherman. Stay down.

[giant footsteps rumble]

[explosions blast]

[soft ethereal music]

- [Gaston] This is bad, Lieutenant Haskell.

The Megacock has never done anything halfway.

If it's attacking New Atlanta,

it won't stop until the entire city is leveled.

- I agree, Colonel.

And the city's security force isn't responding

to our contact attempts.

It means they're either incapacitated or-

- Dead. - Right.

Question is, do we call off the teams currently en route?

You have to make the call Colonel Gaston.

- [Gaston] There's only one call to make.

- [Haskell] Which is?

- [Gaston] Stand down.

- [Haskell] Sir, thousands will die.

- [Gaston] Our intergalactic space force is highly trained.

19 of the most elite teams in the entire cosmos

working under one umbrella to keep universal law and order.

That type of strength is not easily replaced.

- All due respect, sir.

New Atlanta's population is over a hundred thousand.

If we don't try to fight the Megacock

that number could fall to zero.

- [Gaston] Haskell, there are peacekeepers

and there are eaters.

We have to ask ourselves, which are more important

for the future of our species?

- Eaters are also breeders,

and without them there is no species.

- It turns me on when you talk like that,

Lieutenant, so forceful.

- Um, thank you, sir.

Is standing down your final call?

- What is the status of team four?

- As far as we know, they're still hunting the giant ape.

- [Gaston] Kong. That big ape could be our best hope.

That's it then. Until they find him, we stand down.

- [Haskell] I hope they find him soon.

[spacecraft hums] [soft ambient music]

- It's late, Hugh. Why are you still working?

- I could ask you the same thing.

I thought you were napping.

- I couldn't sleep.

- You never can.

- And you never do. Do you ever power down?

- Hugh doesn't need to recharge.

He's outfitted with a lifetime battery.

- In my case, lifetime's forever.

- Hmm. Monotonous.

[Valez speaks Spanish]

- Depends on your perspective, Valez.

- In my book, breathing beats rotting.

- [Zhang] We don't rot on ice. Die someplace cold.

- Try between Zhang's legs.

- It's Zhang, but you know that don't you, Simons?

- Eavesdropping again, Simmons?

You know the new peeping Tom laws are intergalactic.

- Not my fault if you haven't figured out

the ship-to-ship intercom, Ricky.

- Call me Ricky again, pendejo, see what happens.

We'll be face-to-face again soon.

- Are you talking about a 3,000-year-old sitcom, Simmons?

Why doesn't somebody take a break?

We've split the unit

and you two are still at each other's throats.

- I'm with that. This tour feels like forever.

What say we touch down and stretch our legs, Zhang?

- Yeah, go someplace private,

let Valez stretch your legs, Zhang.

- How 'bout you touch down, Simmons?

I'll dot your I's for you.

- Nah, I'm good.

- What I thought.

- Elderly abuse isn't cool, Valez.

No matter how much of an asshole the old man is.

- Hit it and quit it, Valez.

Tick tock, we're still on the clock.

[Valez speaks Spanish]

[Simmons laughs]

- [Zhang] Why am I scanned every time I come to base?

Once should be enough for security to log my retina, no?

- [Valez] You haven't signed on. You're still a guest.

Enlist, and you'll get standing clearance.

Cream in your coffee, Zhang?

- [Zhang] Heavy, thanks. You're not a bad barista, Valez.

- Shift lead at Starperks for two years, in the old world.

- I'm so not surprised.

- Simmons better watch his mouth,

else I'm gonna close it for repairs.

- Every team has a Simmons. I can handle him.

Thanks for caring though.

- [speak Spanish] You okay otherwise?

- Yeah, the nightmares have stopped, so that's good.

I still can't relax worth a damn.

- You're stuck in trauma response.

It'll fade, but it takes time. Talking through it can help.

- With Simmons around, the last thing I wanna do is talk.

- I heard that. We should cut him loose.

I still don't know why he's here anyway. It's shady to me.

- I don't trust him, but he designed that stun laser.

He knows how to use it. We need him.

- The intensity setting's the only thing to learn,

otherwise, it's like any rifle.

He uses it like a bargaining chip to seem valuable.

- Whatever. We'll find Kong soon.

The footprint we came out here to investigate

may have just been a freak shape made by water erosion,

but we will find that ape.

Then, we can go our separate ways and this'll all be over.

- You gonna move on?

- I don't know.

- Listen, Zhang, I know you're hurting

and I know it's hard to feel close to people right now,

but it gets easier.

- That rooster killed my family, Valez,

everything I had in this world, everyone I cared about.

- I know. I can't imagine.

Just know that I'm here for you, no matter what.

- Thanks, Valez, the circumstances are bad, real bad,

but I'm happy to know you, you're one of the good ones.

- [Valez] I try.

- I don't get why you're giving Zhang

such a hard time, Simmons, we're all on the same team here.

- No, you're all on the same team.

I was hired to do a job not make nice and nice with rookies.

- Zhang served six years in two different

planetary air forces.

She's hardly a rookie

- La-dee-fuckin'-da, McCabe.

I was Merchant Marine at 14.

- And?

- And what?

- After that, where did you go?

What did you learn? What's your expertise?

- I went to Leavenworth for four years,

learned how to make a shank from a styrofoam cup,

and I can yank your eyeball outta your head with one finger.

- Charming.

- You asked.

- Can that laser of yours really capture Kong?

- Capture him? No.

But, it can stun the big fucker long enough

for us to capture him.

- What if it fails?

- If it fails, we won't be around long enough

to give it much thought.

- Not reassuring.

- I don't get paid to sprinkle sugar, sweetheart.

- Who is paying you, by the way?

- Colonel Sanders.

- No. Really?

- The zoo in Uranus.

- Asshole.

- Whatever you like.

- You don't think everyone finds it strange

that as soon as we set out to find Kong,

you show up with fist fulls of cash,

and a weapon specifically designed to knock out a Goliath?

- Welcome to the mercenary world, sweetheart.

Here when you need us.

- Call me sweetheart again, I'll get my styrofoam cup.

- Go for it.

I haven't told you what I can do with a cuff link.

- Sorry to interrupt your charming chitchat,

but our colleagues have returned.

- Dang, I was hoping they'd elope.

- Did we miss anything?

- Just the usual titillating conversation with Simmons here.

- McCabe, could you repeat that?

- Repeat what?

- Just the titillating part'll do.

- Fuck you.

- Even better. That was quick, you crazy kids.

I assumed you'd be gone longer.

What's the matter, Jorge, did you misfire?

- I'll misfire on your ass, Holmes.

- It's Simmons,

and I'm flattered you find me that attractive.

Not sure how Zhang feels about it though.

[Valez speaks Spanish]

- I'm afraid I must interrupt again.

Delta Team Eight's reporting active ground carnage

in Earth zone seven.

[Valez speaks Spanish]

- Affirmative, major structural

and massive collateral damage is confirmed.

- [speaks Spanish] What city?

- [Hugh] New Atlanta, sir.

- New Atlanta? Shit, we're way out of range.

Even in hyper drive it'll take an hour plus to be onsite.

- Our team's being dispatched?

- There's no word, sir.

- Word? Who needs word?

Besides, McCabe here's always game to take on a big cock.

Ain't that right, McCabe? New Hot Atlanta, here we come.

[space craft whirs]

[Kong breathing heavily]

[train clatters softly]

[gentle ambient music]

- How are you, Colonel Gaston?

- I'm tripping balls, Lieutenant. And you?

- Same, sir. Those moon shoes of yours really pack a punch.

- Science, Haskell.

The inherent psychedelic properties of lunar dust,

when infused with pure Earth oxygen,

creates a product six times more potent

than the average cosmic market tabs and edibles.

- No shit? I feel like, wait, the train stopped.

Why aren't we moving?

- We're still moving, Haskell. Everything's fine.

Come sit down.

- [gasps] Nah, I'm too jacked for that.

Besides, this feels like surfing. I miss surfing.

- You need to control your heart rate, Lieutenant.

Get too worked up and you'll spin out.

- Right, right. I don't do this stuff often.

Maybe you should've given me half, sir.

- [Gaston] I did give you half, Haskell.

- Fuck. Well, let's say a quarter next time.

- Just try to relax.

If you kick back and look out the windows,

you'll start seeing some wild shit.

- Colonel, I've been seeing wild shit.

If I stand still even for a few seconds, I'll start to...

[soft ethereal music]

[funky techno music]

- Delta 8, come in. Delta 8, please reply.

[computer keys clicking]

There's no response from Delta Team 8 in New Atlanta.

- Communications could be down.

They might have gotten separated, scattered.

It doesn't mean they're dead.

- Perkins, get outta there. [bomb explodes]

Here it comes.

[bomb explodes] No!

Goddamn chicken.

- No, Faro, don't leave me. Please.

[explosions boom]

- We're here live, and look, the Megacock's running wild.

Let's see if he'll pose for us.

- You guys, this is crazy.

Smash that like button if you wanna see more Megacock.

- Listen everyone, we've just received orders to stand down

and not engage the Megacock.

- What? Why not?

Everyone in that city could die.

- War games, Valez. Choose your battles wisely.

- Shut the fuck up, Simmons.

You jumped at the chance to do this.

- Valez is right, Simmons. Pick a side and stay on it.

Are you with us or against us?

- I'm with myself, sweetheart.

- So you admit you're a jack off.

From now on, keep your mouth shut.

Speak when you're spoken to, homie.

- I'll do what I want.

You worry about keeping the mess hall clean.

[Valez speaks Spanish]

- We can't just leave those people there to die. I won't.

Hugh, how long till we reach New Atlanta?

- Approximately 22 minutes, Zhang.

- I vote we ignore the order.

Lives matter more than chain of command.

- I'm with Zhang.

We took an oath to protect life on every colonized planet.

Orders that contradict that should be disregarded.

- Little rebels, you.

- Are you prepared to be court marshaled?

- Are you?

- Touche.

- Wouldn't be the first time.

- I say we go get the bird for two reasons.

I wanna use the laser, and when we're done,

I wanna see Valez do the perp walk.

- We kill that big bird, we'll be heroes,

orders or no orders.

- But if we don't kill it, it'll kill us.

- [groans] Help.

Somebody help me.

[person screaming] [bombs exploding]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [bomb explodes]

[upbeat pop music]

- Yeah. Take it off.

- You sound far away. What'd you say?

- I said show those pecs, Lieutenant.

- Huh? Spiders, ah.

- All right, Haskell, catch you on the flip.

[Haskell breathing heavily]

[Haskell screaming] [light pop music]

- Oh, shit.

Peel the layers like an onion.

I see the galaxy for what it is. It's all a construct.

We are but cogs in the machine.

Technology is nature. Nature is technology.

[light upbeat music] [space whirring]

[screen swooshes]

- It's beautiful. It's all so, so beautiful.

And temporary, nothing gold can stay.

- Oblivion. Sweet oblivion.

The construct again. Is the black hole real?

Or is this platform real?

Am I even here?

Closer. Closer.

Reach out and touch faith.

- Still from the fount of joy's delicious springs.

Some bitter o'er the flowers,

it's bubbling venom flings.

My days are in the yellow leaf.

The flowers and fruits of love are gone.

The worm, the canker, and the grief are mine alone.

[footsteps crunch] [light upbeat music]

[jazz piano music]

- Jerry Lee said, "If I'm going to hell,

I'm going there playing the piano."

Here's to hell.

[upbeat bouncy piano music]

- Fucking hell. What now, humanoid?

- I've received some news that may be of interest

to the team, that I feel urgent to share

before we reach our destination

and engage a creature that may obliterate us all.

- Sounds like a good enough reason to me.

- Of course it does. Dangle something shiny.

Watch Valez get distracted and everyone's plans go kaput.

- Go on, Hugh, what is it?

- It seems the giant ape has been located.

- Kong, really? Where?

- [Hugh] In the woodlands, just outside New Portland.

Delta Team 10's on site and has engaged.

- Ten? Those fucking cowboys see Kong as a big game trophy.

We have to intervene. How far away are we?

- [Hugh] Not very.

We breached the atmosphere over New Wichita.

With hyper speed, we can reach New Portland in 11 minutes.

- Sounds like go time.

- Command might've ordered a stand down on Megacock,

but Kong's fair game.

Simmons, get your laser gun ready, and don't miss.

- Yes, sir.

- [Valez] McCabe, keep pace.

Hyper speed to New Portland in 3, 2, 1.

[ship whirs]

[people yelling in pain] [creature growling]

[birds chirp] [gentle music]

- [Gaston] Haskell?

Lieutenant Haskell?

[soft ambient music] [wind whipping]

[fire crackles] [daunting music]

- Valez, Kong has breached the western tree line,

but the flames are spreading.

We're losing visibility fast.

- We've encountered no members of Delta 10. What about you?

- I found Carpenter's helmet.

- That could be good news.

- His head was still in it.

- Oh.

- What about Simmons?

- Still alive, unfortunately.

- Hey, say "Ah."

[gunshot blasts] [Kong roars]

[Kong thuds] - Bullseye.

We got a gurney big enough to carry this big bastard?

- Hugh, radio transport ship, stat.

- Done.

- Simmons, how long till that stun wears off?

- Depends on weight and this fucker's big.

Get him where you want him within the hour.

After that, I'd start to sweat, like Valeznik. [laughs]

- Keep talking, punk ass.

[gentle music]

- Unbelievable, now I truly understand the laws

of the universe on a cellular level.

Speaking of cellular,

I should text Colonel Gaston and let him know.

He needs to know that life is what you make it,

and if you make it death, well, rest your soul.

[gentle music]

[screen booms]

- [Hugh] I'm receiving word that the surprise attack

has apparently ended in New Atlanta.

- Where is the Megacock now?

- Unknown, ma'am.

- Shit.

- Is anything left of the city?

- Also unknown, sir.

Reports are coming from unincorporated zone seven outposts.

Still no transmissions from the city.

- If we go there and Megacock's gone, we run the risk

of losing Kong, then we're back to square one.

But, if we keep him long enough to chip him,

he won't disappear again.

- Good call, McCabe. Hugh, contact command.

Tell them we have the Kong and are en route

to New America, Base One.

We need a medical team to meet us.

- On it, sir.

- We'll keep him tranqed and chip him.

When that [speaks Spanish] rears its head again,

[speaks Spanish] will be our secret weapon.

- Simmons, is Kong stable?

- Still out cold.

He's stirring though, so let's not dick around.

You hear that, Valez? No taco stops.

- You know I'm gonna fuck you up, right?

- Don't you have a ship to command?

I'm gonna keep an eye on big boy here,

let you know if anything changes.

[soft techno music]

- Why is Simmons still here? We've captured Kong.

Can't he just leave?

- He has some deal with command.

I think he's gotta deliver Kong personally to get paid.

- He's gonna get paid with my fist,

then the rest of his dinero can go to dental work.

I hope Kong wakes up and kills his ass.

- Our priority should be keeping Kong safe and secure.

The Megacock will rise again. We need to be ready for it.

- I bet you'll be ready when that big cock rises,

won't you, Zhang.

[Valez speaks Spanish]

- This train is one trippy buggy.

I'm pretty sure it's not even attached to the moon surface.

Or maybe it is,

but the moon's not attached to the cosmos.

Who the hell knows?

Gaston? Man, it's nice to see you.

- Mm. At ease, Lieutenant.

- Word.

- Word, Colonel.

- Ah, right, Colonel.

- So tell me, how was your trip, Lieutenant?

- Mind blowing.

- I thought you'd enjoy that. Welcome to the other side.

- The other side, sir?

- You see things differently now, don't you?

- Are you kidding? Everything's different.

Molecules don't feel the same.

- Indeed. It's something one must experience.

A portal that must be opened

before one advances up the ranks.

- Advances up the ranks, sir?

- You're set for a promotion, Lieutenant Haskell.

- Get the fuck outta here.

- Language.

- Oh, right. I mean, yes sir, sorry sir.

- You've been invaluable to us, Haskell.

Your dedication to the pursuit of not only law and order,

but peace and prosperity is nothing short of exemplary.

Why, it reminds me of me at your age.

- Wow. I mean, thank you, Colonel.

- You're also a good hang.

- F'n A, sir.

- I trust you'll accept the new title of Captain Haskell.

- Ha, hell yes.

- Hell yes, sir.

- Hell yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

- Don't thank me, Captain.

These things are earned not given.

- Oh. So you, you wanna do it right here?

- Excuse me?

- You want me to, you know?

- No, I don't know.

Spit it out, Haskell.

- Thank you, sir. I'd prefer it to swallowing.

- Oh, for fuck's sake, Haskell,

I'm offering you a promotion based on your performance.

- Uh, understood, sir. I, I think I'll do quite well.

I mean I've never, but yeah.

- Your performance on the job, Haskell, not on your knees.

- Oh, right, whew.

[laughs] You had me going there for a second.

- Clearly.

You could still blow me if you wanted to Captain,

but it's not necessary to achieve the rank.

- [laughs], Right.

Um, I'll hold off then if that's all right, Colonel Gaston.

- It's all right, Captain Haskell. May I be frank?

- Certainly, sir.

- A good trip can bring issues to light

that one may not even realize about one's self.

Something to think about.

- I'll think about it, sir.

- Think hard.

- Nope.

- One more thing.

While you were disposed,

Delta Team 4 reported the apprehension of Kong.

- They did? Incredible.

Has it engaged the Megacock in New Atlanta?

- Negative. The Cock pulled out.

- [chuckles] I see.

- New Atlanta's decimated.

Our medical units are treating survivors

and rounding up the dead.

Team 4, along with Kong, are currently en route

to our Sierra Nevada holding facility,

where they'll await further instruction.

[Kong growls]

- [Simmons] There it is.

Won't be needing this where you're going, big boy.

[Kong growls] [metal clinks]

- It's done, Zhang, Kong's been chipped

and registered in every database from here to Uranus.

- Yikes. How do you feel about that, Zhang?

- Grow up, Tipton, or I'll have you join Simmons

on monkey watch.

- Oh, come on, we need to make light of this crazy shit

once in a while.

You feel me?

- I'm a big girl, Valez.

Ease up on the defending my honor shtick. All right?

- You heard the lady, bruh. She's got a sense of humor.

You oughta grab yours. It's been gone a minute.

- Oh, you're in charge of this unit now?

Congratulations on the promotion, kid.

I always knew you'd do great things.

- Whatever, bruh. I'm gonna make a coffee.

Anybody want anything?

- I'm good, thanks.

- [McCabe] I could use a pick me up.

- I'd love to pick you up, McCabe. Just say when. [laughs]

- You're wound tight, Valez.

I know Simmons is under your skin, but you need to relax.

You're gonna burn out.

- It's a pressure position leading this outfit, Zhang.

I wouldn't recommend it.

- I wouldn't want to.

All I want is for the Megacock to die.

- [Valez] It won't bring them back.

- What it did to my family also won't happen again, ever.

And that means something.

- Understood. You really think I'm overprotective of you?

- Overprotective? Valez, you're all up in my shit.

[both laugh]

- Wish I could see those assholes' faces

when they realize their precious monkey's long gone.

By the time they find out I split with him,

the big ape will be on the interstellar black market,

and I'll be a rich man.

[traffic hums]

- It's a strange thing, the Earth.

Wouldn't you say, Colonel Gaston?

- [Gaston] How so, Captain?

- Well, the more it changes, the more it stays the same.

This planet's been destroyed more times

than we can count now,

but it always rebuilds in a similar fashion.

Like, you can always tell you're on Earth. So weird.

- It's the matrix, Haskell.

Everything we see manifests as it appears in our own minds.

- Whoa, but then, how is it we see the same things,

have the same experiences?

- [Gaston] Collective hallucinatory phenomenon.

- CHP, of course.

- Come on, Haskell. Those street tacos should be ready.

And we need to get back to ground control.

That Megacock won't stay down for long. It never does.

- You know, if it ever hit the fan out there

and the world took another nose dive,

we could sustain in this compound for a good while.

Think about it, we have a cafe, gyms, pools,

tennis courts, yoga studios, a library, a track,

an arena, apartments, anything we need.

- Anything except the surf. There's no ocean.

And your boy needs to catch them waves. You feel me?

- Cup half empty, Tipton.

- Yeah, well, wanna catch some waves with me?

I have two long boards.

- I've never surfed.

- Ah, it's easy. I'll teach you.

What you say you and me cut out?

It's like the Valez-Simmons show here anyhow.

Who wants to hang around to watch the schoolyard fight

we all know is coming?

- There's a thing called duty, Tipton, and duty calls.

We took an oath.

- [sighs] I'm bored, McCabe.

There's still a whole world out there.

You say duty calls, but damn, if it won't hang up.

We came back to this planet for a reason,

and it wasn't just to be cogs in a wheel.

We were human beings before we were soldiers.

- You sound like a dog chasing its tail.

You should get some sleep.

- Let me ask you a question.

When's the last time you saw someone else's face?

When's the last time you saw your own face?

Do you even unmask in private?

I know some around here who don't.

They're afraid of the air we breathe.

What kind life is that? What's a world like that worth?

- Some of us still think it's worth fighting for, Tipton.

- There you go with the fighting again.

Fighting, fighting, always fighting.

- Maybe you should talk to someone.

- I'm talking to you.

[footsteps click]

Fuck.

- I don't think this is the best idea, Zhang.

I mean, we know Kong is secure for the present moment.

He's in custody and under control.

That's good enough for me.

- I just wanna get a look at him up close. He's a legend.

A once-in-a-millennium creature.

Besides, he's loaded up with enough tranquilizers

to drop a herd of buffalo, right?

- I don't wanna have to say I told you so.

- Then don't. Just a peek.

[knocking at door]

- Yo, Simmons, unlock the door.

Don't worry, [speaks Spanish],

I'm not gonna beat your old ass here.

Zhang's with me. We're here to see Kong, open up.

[pounding at door]

Simmons?

[upbeat rock music]

- Christ, should have brought a compass.

Road to hell is paved with dust.

[relaxed rock music]

[robot beeping]

Got something for me?

Hang on, partner. I'll be right there.

[robot beeping]

[relaxed rock music] [footsteps shuffle]

Well, hello, beautiful. You're coming with me, sweetheart.

Soon as we hand off sleeping beauty,

I'm gonna distill you down

and we're gonna bottle some mean mescal.

Huh, could probably hawk it to Valez

for double the market price.

[relaxed rock music]

[alarm buzzing]

- Colonel Gaston, I have bad news. It's an emergency.

- Go on, Valez. What's happening?

- Kong's gone.

- No. The ape escaped?

- Simmons took him.

- Simmons? Who the hell is Simmons?

- Your man, the stun laser dude.

- Valez, we don't know a Simmons.

- Where is Kong now?

- Valez?

Valez?

[Valez speaks Spanish]

[spacecraft hums and whirs]

- I should have stomped a mud hole in that bastard's ass.

I should have killed him in his fucking sleep.

- Don't beat yourself up.

Simmons fooled us all, if that's even his name.

- I knew something was off about that prick.

Things just didn't add up.

I even thought about calling command to get his background.

Now I wish I had.

- They're all moot points now.

We have to get Kong back, if it's not too late.

- Right, and if we find Simmons,

terminate the puta on site.

- If we locate Simmons but not Kong,

he might hold information that could help us locate the ape.

- Good point, Hugh, though I doubt Simmons would divulge it.

- I'll fucking beat it out of him.

- You could beat him within an inch of his life.

I wouldn't trust anything

that came out of the son of a bitch's mouth.

- I'm with McCabe, but Hugh's right.

It'd be a mistake to kill Simmons

without finding out something, anything.

- If we are lucky, Kong will finish him for us.

- That's a strong possibility.

- [Valez] Hugh, are we seeing anything on radar?

- Negative. No Kong, no Megacock, yet.

- Then we keep circling, and we wait.

[spacecraft whirs]

[deep fusion music]

- Who wants to make a deal?

- Hey, let me guess,

another interloper from the mortal world

with grand proclamations and dreary negotiations,

trumpeting empty promises of power and control

to one who wields nothing but.

Is it not so?

- I'm just trying to sell a monkey, man.

- [laughs] I like your style, Pewter.

- Uh, how do you know my name?

[Lucifer clears throat]

Right. Anyway, check it out.

I have something I think will interest you.

- Kong.

- Bingo. Big boy's on a flatbed right outside.

Wouldn't fit through the gates, and he's unconscious,

but he'll be awake soon.

You probably know all that.

- Indeed.

Is this the part where I accept your offering

and devise a nefarious plan, puppeteering the beast

to unleash hell on the living realm above?

- I don't care what you do with him. Let's talk price.

- Pass.

- Excuse me?

- I'm not interested.

I already have power and control over the mortal world,

have for ages.

Look how many times the planets have self-destructed.

Who do you think was responsible each time?

I even bring those dreary rocks back to life,

just to do it all over again when I get bored.

Men, women, children, the weak, the mighty,

the outliers, the geniuses, the simpletons, the savants.

I've pitted them all against each other

and watched them all die.

Why, I enjoy mega death for brunch.

- [Simmons] I like a stiff Bloody Mary myself.

- Don't perform for me, boy.

I'll pour that Bloody Mary with your own blood

and use your eyeballs as the olives.

- I'll just go.

- You'll do as you're told.

- Yeah, that works too.

- How would you like to burn in eternity, space man?

- I'd rather not.

I mean, you know, until it's my time.

- That's up to me, isn't it?

- Tell you what, I'll leave the ape. Call it a gift.

He's a bitch to haul around anyway.

Keep the truck too. No skin off my back, I hot wired it.

- Cunning.

- Eh, thought you'd like that.

- Pewter, poor Pewter, grifting, scheming Pewter.

What way you wander the cosmos forevermore,

searching in vain for a shiny reward

that shall never appear?

- Do I have a say?

- No.

- Shit.

- A question for you dear, Pewter.

Tell me, what do you fear the most?

- Fear? Ha, not a lot.

Being broke sucks, tell you that.

- Spoken like a mercenary.

But Pewter, I sense something in your soul,

a deep-rooted hidden fear.

A fear you've kept to yourself for near a lifetime.

- Well, if it's that secret, why would I say jigs up?

You got me? Did you ever hear of commit to the bit?

Tell you what devil man,

if you ain't buying, I got places to be.

So you know, arrivederci. Capeesh?

- Hmm. Arrivederci indeed.

How about a little vacation, Pewter, someplace serene?

The woods you played in as a child, perhaps?

- How 'bout New Amsterdam, the Red Light District?

- Hmm.

[upbeat dance music]

[birds chirp] [wildlife chatters]

- Huh?

Oh.

[footsteps crunch]

Hey, sweetheart, you lost?

Whoa?

[frog grunts] [tongue thuds]

[Simmons groans]

[wildlife chatters]

[soft ethereal music]

- [Haskell] What was Valez talking about back there?

Who's this Simmons,

and how did he pass the retina scans to join Team 4?

- It doesn't matter, Captain.

We've been infiltrated before, we'll be infiltrated again.

The system always flushes these players out sooner or later.

- Yeah, but we lost Kong.

It puts us behind the eight ball with Megacock.

It's only a matter of time before that monster reappears.

- [Gaston] That's why we're taking the high ground.

We'll make our moves from the space station.

All teams are on high alert, and all officer clearances

will run through the security database until further notice.

- [Haskell] Yes sir. I only hope it's not too late.

[screen swooshes]

- Welcome to my dominion, Kong.

I've seen countless mythical creatures and legendary beasts,

but never one as mighty as you.

My eternal iron grip on the collective soul of mankind,

together with your raw power and raging fury,

will truly usher in a new era of hell on earth.

Now the fun begins.

[Kong growling]

[Kong roars]

[Kong breathes heavily]

[computer keys clicking]

- [Hugh] Team, it looks like the Megacock's back

for a midnight snack.

- Where is it, Hugh?

- New Pittsburgh, presently moving northeast

on the boulevard of the Allies.

- Command, come in.

- [Gaston] Go ahead, Valez.

- We've located the Megacock in New Pittsburgh.

Is the stand down still in effect or may we engage?

- What's the call, Colonel?

- Make it, Captain.

Your first test in command. How should it go?

- Valez, kick that rooster's ass.

- Hit it, McCabe. We have a bird to pluck.

- It's about time. Hang on everyone.

[spacecraft swooshes]

- Attention, all Earthbound Delta teams.

The Megacock has been reported in New Pittsburgh.

All teams route to New Pittsburgh at once.

- [Gaston] And once there? Give the order Captain.

- Right. Sorry.

If you get that rooster in your sights, do not hesitate.

Terminate with extreme prejudice.

- [Gaston] Atta boy.

- Ten-four, rotisserie for Team 5 tonight, boys.

Let's spit roast it's big ass.

- Hoo-ha, let's go.

[Kong breathes heavily]

- Ooh, where in hell do you think you're going, primate?

There is no escape from the underworld.

You're only permitted to leave if I grant you passage.

[Kong breathing heavily]

[fire explodes]

[person yells]

- [Mike] Hey, we're back on the air live here,

and that Megacock's running wild

down Boulevard of the Allies.

If you'ins is downtown,

we urge you'ins to get outta there and head on home.

Or if you'ins can't make it home,

you'ins can take shelter down the old Iggly Arena

or the Bumpy Shot Crosskey Convention Center,

or the event center if you'ins in Xavier, Oakland.

Also, all the Pirogi Pizza are offering safe housing

to the public, including half off triple decker,

roast beef, french fry, pierogi, hoagies,

while them supplies last.

We gonna take your calls now

while we're still here in one piece.

Ronnie from Beaver County, you're on the air

with Double M Mike Mattie, go ahead.

- [Caller] Hey there, Mike.

Long-time listener, first-time caller here.

- [Mike] We're still waiting on you, Ronnie.

- [Caller] Oh, okay.

Hey, Mike, hey, I think this whole Megacock business,

it's really the fault of one guy, Mike Tomlin.

- [Mike] Next caller.

[Megacock crashes] [person screams]

[deep ominous music] [people yelling distantly]

- [Zhang] How long until we reach New Pittsburgh, Hugh?

- [Hugh] We're currently over Kansas.

At present speed, we'll reach New Pittsburgh

in approximately 13 minutes.

- With no Kong and no stun laser,

we're gonna have a fight on our hands.

- I don't care if we have nothing but slingshots,

that guy is as good as dead.

- Thanks, Valez.

[Valez speaks Spanish]

- Get a room.

[all laugh]

- Hugh, I didn't know you had it in you.

- Me either. I like you with a sense of humor, Hugh.

- My sustained interactions with all of you,

Simmons included, has hasten

my burgeoning self-actualization

and introduced a dollop of creativity to my oral style.

- It's a good thing Simmons wasn't here to hear that.

- Agreed.

- No doubt, he'll deliver a blowjob wisecrack

directed at both of you.

- And I'd have knocked his teeth down his weasley throat.

- Let it go, Valez. Simmons is gone, probably for good.

Let's just get to the city

and end the Megacock's reign of terror, once and for all.

- I second that.

[spacecraft whirs]

[people screaming] [wind whipping]

- [Valez] Is everyone all right?

- Feels like there's an ice pick in my neck,

but I've had compressions before.

Don't worry about me.

- My vision's doing back flips.

Equilibrium's fucked, but I can still go.

- All right then. Hugh, you here?

[fire crackles] [gentle piano music]

Hugh?

[gentle piano music] [birds chirp]

Anybody have a phone?

- Mine was in the ship.

- Mine too.

- That makes three. So we're cut off.

We can't contact command.

- [McCabe] Looks like we walk.

- [Zhang] The sun's setting. It'll be dark soon.

- Mm-hmm, better get moving.

There's predators in these woods.

- [Haskell] Colonel, surveillance just lost Delta Team Four.

- [Gaston] What do you mean, lost them?

- [Haskell] Their vessel suddenly dropped 5,000 feet

in five seconds, then vanished completely from our radar.

- Dammit. Where were they?

- [Haskell] Last coordinates put them just outside

New Wichita, sir.

- [Gaston] They went down in fly over country? Fuck.

- [Haskell] I've dispatched robot rescue

to search for survivors.

- Good, even one soldier lost in this damned fight

is one too many, Captain.

- [Haskell] I agree, sir.

We must destroy the Megacock, restore calm, and rebuild.

But somehow our grip feels more tenuous

with each passing minute.

[gentle ambient music]

[upbeat techno music]

Do you have any more of those edibles, sir?

[upbeat techno music]

[Megacock crows]

- Crow, Megacock, crow.

Crush their sniffling human homes.

[fire explodes] their sniveling businesses,

their hollow places of worship.

Show those puny, mortal maggots what real might look like.

What say we spice things up up there?

What you need big cock is a rival,

a foe of equal strength to battle and conquer.

Then and only then will your conquest mean anything

in the annals of bloody subjugation.

What you need is Kong.

[Kong roars]

[people scream distantly] [Kong grumbles]

[footsteps thud] [tense music]

[Kong breathes heavily]

[Megacock crows]

[people yelling frantically]

[gentle guitar music] [birds chirp]

- How long have we been walking?

- Feels like forever, but probably just a couple of hours.

Our damn luck is getting worse and worse.

Earth hasn't seen a tornado since the great rebuild,

and we run smack into an F2 twister out of nowhere.

This team's cursed.

- If things aren't going our way, we turn them around.

It's the way it is.

- Well, sometimes it fucking sucks.

- No argument there. But you have to keep going.

We have no choice.

No stopping, no quitting, no turning back.

- I know, Zhang.

Give me a break with the motivational speaker shit, okay?

I have to vent once in a while.

- Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.

- What? - Zhang, look.

It's Simmons.

[gentle guitar music] [birds chirp]

- [Zhang] I guess Kong didn't like his new partner.

- [Valez] You're surprised?

[speaks Spanish] Hope it hurt.

- [McCabe] It sure wasn't peaceful.

- Blunt force trauma from the looks of it.

- [McCabe] I wonder if it was Kong.

- What else would it have been?

- [Valez] Anyone who met the pendejo would have good cause.

- Valez has a point.

- It doesn't matter, we know what became of Simmons,

but Kong is still gone.

- [Valez] Let's keep moving.

We won't make it to New Pittsburgh to stop the Megacock,

but dios willing, someone else will.

[deep ominous music]

[Lucifer laughs]

[deep foreboding music] [people screaming]

[Kong roars]

[Megacock crows]

[Kong roaring] [Megacock crowing]

[kicks thudding]

[fire explodes]

[soldier grunting] [fire popping]

[deep ominous music]

[fire explodes] [Kong growling]

[Megacock screeching]

[deep ominous music] [punches thud]

[Kong growls]

[punches thud] [Kong growls]

[punch thuds] [ominous music]

[people screaming] [Kong breathes heavily]

[Kong growls]

[upbeat music] [singing in foreign language]

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself ♪

♪ I can't find myself, can't find myself ♪

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself ♪

♪ I can't find myself, can't find myself ♪

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself ♪

♪ I can't find myself, can't find myself ♪

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself ♪

♪ Can't find myself, can't find myself ♪

[upbeat techno music]

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself, don't want nobody else ♪

♪ No, so cold, don't play games, don't argue much back ♪

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself, don't want nobody else ♪

♪ No, so cold, don't play games, don't argue much back ♪

[upbeat techno music]

[upbeat techno music] [singing in foreign language]

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself ♪

♪ I can't find myself, can't find myself ♪

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself ♪

♪ I can't find myself, can't find myself ♪

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself ♪

♪ I can't find myself, can't find myself ♪

♪ Hypnotize, can't find myself ♪

♪ Can't find myself, can't find myself ♪

[upbeat techno dance music] [singers vocalizing]

[funky synth music]

[gentle piano music]

[footsteps clicking]

[door hisses]

[gentle piano music] [footsteps click]

- [Gaston] Afternoon, Ms. Zhang.

- It's Zhang, Colonel Gaston.

- Yes it is, isn't it? Glad you could make it.

Have a seat.

- I'll stand. Why did you send for me?

- Right to the point, eh?

- No reason to waste time.

I'm sure you have a lot on your plate.

- And not only at dinner. [laughs]

I like a soldier who doesn't waste time, Zhang.

And the other members of our Delta Team 4

hold shining opinions of you.

- I think highly of them too.

With all due respect, Colonel, if this is about a medal,

I really don't-

- Think you deserve it?

- Care, I was going to say that I don't care.

Rewards mean nothing to me.

- Well, I see you don't mince words either.

- Never have.

- And so I'm told. Anyway, brass tacks, Zhang.

I could court martial you right now

for imitating an officer,

infiltrating an on-duty unit,

and abusing military resources.

What do you say to that?

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm, sir.

- Sir.

- Like I said, I can have you escorted out of here

in shackles with the snap of my finger,

but I'd rather see you enlist.

We'd make a hell of a team, Zhang.

- I'll think about it.

- [Gaston] Is that your answer?

- I haven't thought about it yet.

- You have a family, Zhang?

- I used to.

- So, no distractions.

Our worlds are in a perilous era, Zhang.

This cosmos is teetering on the brink of chaos.

- It's at least a bit more stable

with the Megacock rotting in the ground.

- But that foul was only one of our problems.

There are others bigger, stronger, crazier.

- Then you'll need more than just one new recruit.

- That's why I'm putting together a brand new unit,

a crack team, the best of the best.

There are more monsters out there than the Megacock, Zhang,

many more, and we're gonna get 'em all, with or without you.

- In that case, why would I sign on?

- If you don't, we can revisit that court martial option.

You'll have some years to think about

whether it was the right choice or not.

- Where's my uniform?

[gentle piano music]