Original subtitles

Wilhelm: Previously on Crystal Lake...

Dorf: Man-eating bears. Exciting.

Keep this to yourself.

You know me.

Yeah, that's why I'm saying it.

Found some remains in the woods yesterday.

- Human, looks like. - Whose?

[Pam grunting]

Lee: That's what we're trying to find out.

How are you, big bro?

Had to go down to the lake today.

Not that Voorhees lady again?

Feels nice, right? Getting out and about.

Thank you for never giving up on me.

Never.

Jason made it for me last summer.

Anyway, I thought you should have it.

Pam: You keep it. He made it for you.

Claudette: Oh, my God, what are you doing here?

I heard there was a party.

Go home.

[thud]

[thunder booms]

- [glass shattering] - [Claudette screams]

What the hell was that?

[panting]

[birds cawing]

[intense music]

[?]

- [toy gun whirring] - Gotcha! Point blank!

You didn't hear me coming, did you?

I completely outflanked you.

Nuh-uh, I just-- I just got turned around.

Hey, don't point it at my face.

Come on, it can't hurt you. See?

- [toy gun whirring] - Oh, jeez.

- What happened? - Jason: I don't know.

Grace: Did you hit a branch or something?

I guess so. Weird.

- Does it hurt? - Mmm...

Not really. I'm pretty tough.

[chuckles]

Creepy, huh?

Let's check it out.

Are you crazy? We're not even supposed to be out here.

Well, no one cares.

This whole property has been abandoned for, like, eons.

Come on.

Come on!

[intriguing music]

[wings flapping]

[?]

Jason: Corn!

Whoever owned this place, they were probably moonshiners.

Corn and sugar are the main ingredients in hooch.

So I bet this is where they used to store it.

Mmm. Well, whatever it is, it smells like butt.

Hey. We could use this place.

This could be our stronghold.

Like a fortress.

Oh, wow. Check it out!

We could have a secret cache, too.

- Cache? - For food and weapons.

In case there's a siege.

I read about it in my survival guide.

Grace: Hmm.

These woods are ours. We may have to defend them.

Right. From all the invaders.

Don't tell anyone, though.

About this place. Okay? It's just for us.

Yeah, just for us.

[birds calling]

[rain pattering gently]

[groans]

[low, ragged breathing]

[twigs snapping]

[ominous music]

Hello?

[?]

[low, ragged breathing]

[theme music]

[?]

[?]

[sizzling]

So, uh, how about a movie, then?

Fist of Fury is still playing at the Rialto.

Didn't you see it already?

Three times. But, uh, you know,

it's not like we'd be watching anyway, so. [snickers]

That'll be a pass.

Oh, come on. Give me one good reason.

I'm a grown woman, for one.

It's gonna take more than a box of Milk Duds

and you fumbling with my bra in the back row to get me going.

Wanna give me a hint, at least?

Gus: What else could it be?

I'm-- I'm just saying, it ain't typical behavior,

- scattering remains like that. - There was no scattering.

There was one partially masticated coccyx.

No, I don't think that's accurate.

No-- Hey, Dorf! Hey, Dorf.

What was it you boys found out there? A femur?

ME says it was a pelvis.

So, you know, what about some pizza before then?

A little Asti Spumante?

Hold the phone. What pelvis?

Oh. Chief and I found some human remains.

Up off Buttermilk Trail.

Nothing to worry about.

Well, who would it belong to?

Yeah, well, that's the $64,000 question right there.

No one local, that's for sure.

Looks like a bear attack.

You'd best be careful out there.

- Bear? - Okay, hold up, Gus.

I said the bear had been at him.

I didn't say the bear killed him.

Well, you said it was a possibility.

Hmm. Might be smart to buy some bear spray, just in case.

- Yeah, I think I'll do that. - Yeah, and lock up your car.

They know how to use the door handles.

- Bullcrap.

My cousin Jeremiah found one in his Chrysler once.

Newsflash, they don't just shit in the woods.

[Enos chuckles]

Hey, Rita, hold up.

[door closes]

What's the matter with you two, huh?

I'm trying to get some nookie, and you guys are sitting here

talking about pelvises and killer bears.

Okay, you're not even supposed to know

what we found out there, all right?

Well, I guess you shouldn't have run your mouth then.

Arnie: It's what happens when the government

thinks they know better than the regular folks.

Those limp dicks in the Capitol outlaw bear hunting.

Next thing you know, man gets ate.

Damn, Arnie.

Okay, no one is saying that, all right? We--

we're still gathering intel.

My ex's brother lost his right arm to a bear

back in '57, right up to the elbow.

It attacked him?

No, he was trying to hand feed it.

Point is,

North American black bear ain't a creature to be trifled with.

Especially once it's got a taste for human flesh.

- Human flesh. - [growling]

Stop.

- [Trudy chuckling] - [Gus & Enos laughing]

Lee: That should do it.

Well, thank you for coming over and helping me do this.

I don't think I could do it alone.

Shouldn't have to.

You know, um...

I kept Alma's things way too long.

Eventually they felt less like her and...

more like anchors, you know?

Weighing me down.

Why do I feel like I'm just throwing him away?

Lee: 'Cause he's still with you.

Inside.

And that's a good thing.

But this...

this is just a thing.

Well, I think that is everything from there.

Let's see.

- Did I miss anything? - Looks good. Looks good.

- Oops. - Oh.

- Oh! - [gasps]

Is that a skin mag?

- Oh, my God! Lee! - [Lee chuckling]

He was just a boy!

Lee: Yeah, on the verge of growing up.

No, he was still playing with toys!

I would put him to bed and, like, five minutes later,

- I would hear... - [toy gun whirring]

- [chuckles] - I mean, I guess I didn't...

think about what else he could have been doing in here.

He might have just been reading it for the articles.

I mean, this one has an interview with Elliott Gould.

[both laughing]

["Red Red Wine" by Neil Diamond playing]

Lee: I told you that girl was wild.

You're lucky she ain't dragging you

to some kind of swinger shindig

with wife-swapping or whipped cream wrestling.

- Wait, is that really a thing? - [laughs]

These days, everything's a thing.

Oh, God.

I don't even know what I would do at something like that.

It's been so long since I've...

Oh, you and me both. [chuckles]

I'm pretty sure it's like riding a bike.

[laughs] Yeah. All that heavy breathing

and pumping and holding on for dear life.

[laughing] You know what? No more Lambrusco for you.

[Lee chuckling]

There must have been something to that experience.

Because you're definitely acting...

What? Crazy?

I was gonna say "different."

But I like it, though.

It fits.

Well, a lot of it was nonsense.

Punching pillows and hugging your inner child and...

But I guess I just needed something

to kind of shake me up a bit, you know?

I've been...

so focused on Jason for so many years.

Protecting him and worrying about him.

Even before I...

lost him,

I think I lost a piece of myself.

A piece that I really missed.

I don't know why it took some fake guru

at a Sheraton and to make me see that, but... [laughs]

I think I'm--

I'm finally ready.

Ready for what?

To let go.

Maybe.

You know, start a new life.

Even if I don't know what that looks like.

How long did it take you after Alma?

To get a life?

I think I'm still working on that.

? My blue, blue heart ?

Whew.

[Pam sighs]

[Lee chuckles]

Thanks for dinner.

Yeah, you are very welcome.

You have a--

a good evening, Chief Brooks.

Ah... [laughs]

- I'm sorry. - No, it's okay. It's--

I-- You know, I felt like, uh,

we had a moment back there and I just let it walk on by.

No, I'm--

I feel it too.

I just, uh...

- Oh, shit. - No, I--

You're really the only person I have to rely on

in this whole town, and if I did anything

to screw that up for us, I just--

I'd just never forgive myself.

I understand.

Yeah.

You have a good night, Chief Brooks.

I'll try. [chuckles]

- Miss Voorhees. - Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

[car door closes]

[car engine starts]

[insects buzzing]

Perimeter's clear.

There's no bed-check Charlies in these woods.

Just keep your lid on tight.

[foreboding music]

[helicopter blades chopping]

[soldiers shouting indistinctly]

- [gunfire] - [soldier screams]

[overlapping shouting]

[gunfire]

[indistinct radio chatter]

[soldiers screaming]

[screaming, gunfire fade]

[animal screeches]

[?]

Forgive me, friend.

- [knife slashes] - [animal yelps]

[?]

[birds chirping]

Hello?

[bird cawing]

[?]

[low, ragged breathing]

Who's out there?

[thudding]

[breathing heavily]

[?]

[?]

[birds chirping]

[distant phone ringing]

"Communist agitator." Hmm.

The fuck?

Hey, Chief. Just got a hit on another abandoned car.

What's the matter?

Gold Ford sedan over in Middlesex County.

- Middlesex? - Dorf: Yeah.

Tow company called it in about an hour ago.

I told 'em not to haul it out of there

'til you get a good look at it.

Could give us a lead on Elvis, huh?

[knocks on desk]

Elvis?

Yeah, that's, uh, what I've been calling our John Doe.

You know? Elvis the pelvis.

[grunts]

It's a wonder you're still single.

[laughs]

What?

- I got it. Thank you. - Copy.

Gustavo: It's a rental car. Been missing for a week,

and someone finally called it in.

And the renter company sent you out here to pick it up?

Yeah.

Did they say who rented it?

Name, company, anything?

Hey, man, I just hook and haul. This Colombo shit is your trip.

Do you remember who you talked to, at least?

I don't know. Bazooka Joe.

You're not very good at your job, are you, Gustavo?

Man, this just a paycheck till I can get on Soul Train.

[sighs]

Oh, shit. Is that blood?

It ain't peanut butter.

I'ma need the number for that rental car company.

Yeah. Yeah, sure thing, man.

Shit.

[school bell ringing]

[door opens]

Claudette: Sorry to break it to you,

but you don't have a good side.

I'm almost done.

Like you haven't been avoiding me all day?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Barry's car, you little faker.

You're gonna buy him a new window

or I'm gonna take it out on your ass.

I don't know, Claudette. Look at her clothes.

I don't even think she has lunch money.

[Claudette snickers]

I didn't do anything.

You know what I think?

I think you're full of shit.

And I'm gonna give that mouth of yours a bath.

- [Grace shouts] - Eat it, you bitch!

[Grace grunting]

Ow! Little freak bit me!

You're even crazier than your lush mom!

[spits]

[both grunting]

[Claudette grunts, gasps]

[both grunting]

[Claudette yelping]

- Oh, my God, get off her! - Grace: Take it back!

- You freak! - You psycho!

- Grace: Take it back! - Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What in God's name are you girls doing?

No, no, no, no. Get up. Get up. Get up.

She just jumped me! She's insane!

- I saw her do it. - Is that true, young lady?

I didn't! She-- she thinks I broke her boyfriend's window

and she came in yelling at me for money.

But why would she be thinking that?

[tearful] 'Cause, Miss Napolitano, she's upset

I made her leave a high school party the other night,

which she was too young to be at in the first place.

[sniffles] So she threw a shoe

at Barry's window and shattered it.

- I didn't! - Claudette: It's sad, really.

She used to be such a sweet kid.

But I'm sorry, have you seen her mom?

- Shut up! - Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That's enough, young lady. Principal's office. Let's go.

March!

Then he just ripped open his raincoat, and there it was.

- Girl, shut your mouth. - God as my witness.

Twig and berries all flapping in the breeze,

smacking against his thighs.

It was cold as a mother, too.

- Well, what'd you do? - Girl, what you think?

I threw my corn dog at it and ran.

- [both laughing] - Well, leave it to you.

'Cause I'm in the city damn near every weekend,

- I ain't never seen no pervert. - Oh, I swear,

between that

and the man-eating bears running around these woods,

ain't nowhere safe.

Bears?

- What bears? - You didn't hear?

Chief Brooks found a dead man in the woods.

Part of a man.

They say the bear tore him all to pieces.

That's awful.

Do they know who it was?

Probably some hiker out messing where he shouldn't have been.

Chief Brooks will sort it out.

Mm, child. That's a fine man right there.

Mm-hmm. Maybe I should send my man out to them woods.

For the job, honey.

[Lois and Maureen laughing]

Child.

[tense music]

[Pam panting]

Just breathe. Okay.

It's fine. Don't forget to breathe.

A bear, they think it's a bear...

It's fine, it's fine.

[Pam panting]

Valerie: Okay, thank you.

You're suspended? Really?

You think I have time for this?

You think I like working six nights a week?

I don't, okay? I don't.

I do it for you and this is how you repay me.

- I didn't do any-- - Hey!

Hey. Come on.

Grace!

Hi, honey. Are you okay?

Ow, you're hurting me.

Move. Move your ass now.

Get in the car, damn it. Grace!

Shit.

[engine thrumming]

[office din]

Briana: What's this?

Bergamotto?

Only the best for my baby sis.

Damn, Lee.

You must really need a favor

to bring out the big guns like this.

- You know I can take these back? - No. Uh-huh.

You gonna tell me what you want or you gonna watch me eat?

[Lee sighing]

"400-pound pumpkin dazzles spectators

at a Trenton summer carnival."

[Lee laughing]

I was gonna ask you for some help on the case,

but you look like you got your ass pulled.

You know what?

Keep running your mouth like that,

I'm gonna have Nate throw your ass out.

I didn't hear that and I'm not getting involved.

- Pussy. - [Lee chuckling]

[Lee sighing]

I thought nothing ever happened in Crystal Lake

- and that's why you like it. - Nothing does and I do.

But now I got some John Doe pelvis in my woods.

A rental car that's two counties over

that looks like it might have been his

with a bunch of dry blood in the trunk.

Sounds like foul play.

Lee: I don't know just yet.

But it's weird.

Yeah. Pelvis was weird enough.

I called Hertz

and they told me that the car was rented from the airport

by some cat named Carl Egan

using a company credit card issued to a Subsun Solutions.

So, it's a business trip.

Yeah, except...

Subsun Solutions doesn't exist.

And the phone number that Hertz took down

for it is disconnected

and none of the airlines have any record of a Carl Egan

landing in Newark that day.

Hm. Yeah, that is weird.

Like I said, I got an invisible man

working for a ghost company

that might have been killed and dumped into my woods.

And you need my help.

You got access to tools I don't.

Database, personnel records.

Oh, yeah. I'll get it.

I just want to hear you ask.

Pretty please, can you help little old Lee?

Okay!

- I'll look into it. - Okay. All right. Well...

So get up.

- Love you. - Love you too.

Yeah.

Lee, working a case,

it looks good on you.

[somber music]

[eerie sting]

[country music playing]

Hamish: Yeah, I'm off the case. I just need one case.

Gus: Well, there you go.

Hamish: You want to do me up? Well, I definitely will.

Gus: All right, all right, coming up, coming up.

Hey, Ralph.

Come grab a dog.

Didn't know you were joining us.

I'm not.

Enos: What's the problem?

Figured you'd want to take a crack at this thing.

Yeah, come on. You can help us track it.

Bunch of fools.

You think a bear did this?

The only thing waiting for you out there is death.

Enos: Ooh.

Says the town crazy!

[all laughing]

Ignore him, boys.

That fool wouldn't know a hawk from a hand saw, huh?

[knocking on door]

Good afternoon, Grace.

Miss Voorhees.

My mom just left for work, but I'll tell her you came by.

Oh, no, no, that's okay. I just--

I came to drop something off.

Oh.

So, this was Jason's favorite jacket

and I found it and I thought that maybe you might like it.

Oh.

Would you like to try it on?

- Okay. - I mean, only if you want to.

- No, that's fine. - Pam: Okay.

Um, it's nice, Miss Voorhees.

Real nice. Um, it's a little snug.

Well, you can call me Pam, first of all.

And it is a little small, but...

I don't know, it really suits you.

I-- I don't know.

My mom gets real uptight about taking charity.

Oh, it's not charity. It's a gift.

You know, you can't go around school in a torn up jacket.

I know how kids are. Believe me.

Thanks.

Oh, no.

- Thanks, um, sorry. - Oh, sorry.

- It's not always this messy. - No.

My mom's been working a lot.

Pam: You should see my house when I get busy.

It's like a bomb went off.

[mimicking explosion]

Have you eaten?

I'll make you a little something.

What the hell is this now?

Hey.

Oh, shit.

Enos: Look at this.

Do I even want to know what the hell is going on here?

Chief, Deputy Dorfman told us about the bear.

The one mauled that hiker.

- Did he now? - Harry: Terrible thing.

Real tragedy.

- But it got us to thinking-- - Let me stop you right there.

The last thing I need is a bunch of drunk fools

making trouble for the local bear population.

The last thing we need

is a rogue predator preying on our children.

Is he eating children now?

You're not from these parts,

Chief.

So, forgive me for saying

you're out of your element here.

I suppose that's possible, Hamish.

But I'm the one that's wearing the badge.

The badge.

[laughing]

That belongs on my boy's chest.

I'm going to make this real simple for you.

Nobody's hunting a bear today or tomorrow

without a permit or permission from yours truly.

The fact is, there's not a shred of proof

that a bear has killed anyone.

No, that's not what Dorf said, Chief.

Well, the gap between what Officer Dorfman says

and what he knows is about as wide as the Grand Canyon.

Takes after his father in that way.

Now I'm going to need y'all to get on

and let me do my job.

Y'all hard of hearing?

I said go to hell home.

Now!

[engine thrumming]

Well,

I suppose that's that then.

Yep.

Nothing we can do, I guess.

[laughing]

Gus: Let's go, boys! We're going to get the bear!

[Grace clearing her throat]

I heard what happened at school

with Claudette.

Is everything okay?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, it's really no big deal.

Yeah, I was just surprised is all.

I thought you guys were friends.

What happened?

Um...

everyone thinks she's this perfect princess, you know,

but she's not.

She drinks and she cusses and she could be a real bitch.

Sorry.

But...

if people knew what she was really like

and...

And the things she's done?

I-- I just think that people like her,

they shouldn't always get away with everything.

You're right.

I know kids can be cruel.

Especially to the kind-hearted.

I'm not kind-hearted.

You're the only person who saw Jason for who he was inside.

Most of the adults around here couldn't do that.

I liked who he was.

Me too.

Hello.

What's going on here?

Um.

Did she get in trouble again?

Jesus Christ, Gracie.

Oh, no, no, no. She, um...

I found some books in the cafeteria

and I thought they were hers.

She might need them, so I just dropped them by.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

What did I tell you about leaving your things around, huh?

This girl's a goddamn space cadet.

Oh, no, no, I'm sure she didn't mean to.

Well, I have enough shit to deal with as it is.

And if I don't go back to work in 20 minutes,

my boss is going to can my ass.

Have you seen that cash bag?

I swear to God, I left it somewhere around this table.

Um...

- Get your ass over here... - Okay.

...and help me look for it.

This is all your mess around here.

[Valerie groaning]

It's here.

This is what happens

when you leave your crap around, all right?

- Clean it up. - Is that really necessary?

Valerie: I'm sorry, what are you still doing here?

Huh?

What, did I ask you to make my daughter a sandwich

or for your advice on how to raise my kid, huh?

No, I'll just be going.

Sorry for the intrusion.

Yeah, I bet.

When I get home, this place better be spotless.

Okay.

[Valerie sighing]

Hey, if you need anything, you just call me, okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

Hey.

What is that?

Did your mother do that to you?

Don't say anything.

Please.

It'll just make it worse.

Valerie: Grace!

I gotta go.

- Whoo! - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Be careful with that thing.

I heard something. In the bushes.

[bird cawing]

Oh, ain't that sweet.

Blow it out of the sky, Enos.

That's a prize mount right there.

Up your ass with a can of gas, you old fart.

Arnie: Will you two stow it? I got something.

Bear shit.

It's still fresh, too.

We got tracks over there

heading up to that ridge.

[tense music]

All right. We'll follow the tracks.

You two, split up.

Flank to either side of that ridge.

Yeah.

Let's box this sucker in.

Box him in.

All right.

I think I'm just gonna...

Yeah, I'll see you on the other side, so let's...

[flies buzzing]

Sweet, bald baby Jesus, that stinks.

[Enos panting]

- [leaves rustling] - Huh?

- [footsteps] - [twigs snapping]

Gus? Gus, that you?

[twigs snapping]

Oh, I see you, stupid beast.

[footsteps]

Oh! You think you can outsmart me?

I'm the law out here, you son of a...

[gunshot]

[Enos groaning]

Gus: Enos, where are you?

I think I hit it.

[tense music]

[Enos groaning]

[footsteps]

[Enos shuddering]

[?]

[Enos groaning]

[muffled rock music playing]

? I am, I said ?

? To no one else ?

? And no one heard at all ?

? Not even the chair ?

? I have my pride ?

[music stopping]

[Valerie sighing]

You're like a bad penny, aren't you?

I just came to talk to you.

I don't got nothing to say to you.

How the hell did you get in here, anyway?

All the doors are locked.

Or is that your thing?

Barging into places where you're not wanted?

Valerie, I'm not blind.

I see how hard you work

And what you're going through.

I-- I--

- Lady. - Pam: I know how overwhelming

it can be at times.

Lady, I don't know what you're jabbering on about,

but I don't need your pity.

I'm just saying I know what it's like

to raise a child on your own.

My Jason was everything to me

and sometimes I...

I would lose my temper with him and I'm not proud of it.

But the isolation

and-- and the frustration,

I know what that's like

But Grace is a good kid

and she's at a very delicate age

and you need to be gentle with her.

Don't you dare talk about my daughter

and don't act like you know me.

You and I got nothing in common.

You don't even know how lucky you are, do you?

To have the privilege of watching her grow up.

To see her make friends.

Fall in love.

I would give anything for that.

Anything.

Yeah, well, life sucks.

What are you gonna do?

Well...

to start,

you're gonna keep your hands off of Grace.

What?

Who the hell do you think you are?

My father used to hit me

and he thought that it would make me obedient,

but it just pushed me away

and if you keep doing what you're doing,

you're going to lose her.

- Get the fuck out. - She's a good and sweet kid.

- And she deserves-- - Bitch, I am not messing around.

She deserves better than you.

[tense music]

You listen to me.

My Gracie is tough as nails thanks to me.

She can take on anything this world throws her way

thanks to me.

Maybe if you raised your kid right,

he'd still be alive.

Go back to your sad little house, your sad little life

and stay the fuck out of mine.

Or else I'll call the cops

and tell them that a crazy lady broke into my restaurant

and started making threats

You're not gonna do that.

Valerie: Ooh. What, you're gonna stop me?

- If I have to. - If I have to.

[Valerie groaning]

I just wanted to talk!

And you had to be cruel!

All you people, you just push and you push and you push

and you think nobody's ever gonna push back!

But you're fucking wrong!

I couldn't save my son, but I can save her.

[Valerie groaning]

[oil sizzling]

[oil bubbling]

[fireworks crackling]

[?]

["I Am... I said (Reprise)" by Neil Diamond playing]

? Did you ever read About a frog who dreamed ?

? Of being a king ?

? And then became one ?

? Well except for the names And a few other changes ?

? If you talk about me ?

? The story's the same one ?

? But I got an emptiness Deep inside ?

? And I've tried But it won't let me go ?

? And I'm not a man Who likes to swear ?

? But I never cared For the sound of being alone ?

? I am, I said ?

? To no one there ?

[fire roaring]

? And no one heard at all ?

? Not even the chair ?

? I am, I cried ?

? I am, said I ?

[glass shattering]

? And I am lost And I can't even say why ?

? I am, I said ?

? I am, I cried ?

? I am ?

[fire crackling]

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