Original subtitles

Thank you.

has been found guilty of complicity with the rebels to overthrow the holy power

of Lord Arklon.

The accused has also exhibited knowledge of witchcraft and his ability to control

the beasts of the field.

The sentence is death.

So this is the Beastmaster.

The one who defeated our high priest, Maox.

and now challenges my authority.

Did you actually believe that you and your flock of peasants could overthrow

my kingdom?

Did you?

Now, where are these rebels?

In the name of Lord Arklon, I hereby condemn you to eternal damnation.

May the vultures feast upon his flesh.

beast the vulture shall have their feast after all perhaps you're right

come on

my friends let us

depart before somebody really gets hurt

Thank you.

I don't like it.

Bring the witch.

The leader wishes to speak with the witch.

Move it!

Witch, speak.

Where is Arklan's army?

Lord Arklon rests in the foothills of Annalos.

Some two days' journey from here.

Take care you speak the truth, witch.

One act of betrayal and I'll cleave your black heart from your bosom.

Surely such a valiant warrior such as you can think of a better use for my

bosom. Away with her!

Well, I guess he got the point.

battle, Arklon.

But the flames of freedom will not be extinguished so easily.

They'll be coming more and more from all over the land.

And we both know, Arklon, that the power of the key is not eternal.

Whore.

Who are you to address me by name?

Who am I?

Honey, I'm the best thing that's happened to you since you donned that

great-looking mask.

And why should I, Lord Arklon, maximum ruler of Aroch,

be any concern of yours? Chill out, Lord Dude.

You know, you're a hard man to take a meeting with.

That's why I arranged this little scene with the rebels here.

What is this strange tongue in which you speak?

It's all part of what I want to show you, my lord.

For it is I, the beautiful, sensuous, mysterious Lorana.

Who can make you the most powerful man on earth?

My dear, I am the most powerful man on earth.

Not for long.

Unless you allow me to make your power eternal.

You? You are but a witch. Oh, maybe.

But a very uncommon one, my lady. Silence!

Do you not wish to hear my secret?

The one that will make you equal to the gods.

The ultimate power awaits you, my lord.

Then I shall let you live, only until I witness such sorcery.

But you hear me well.

If you try to deceive me... I know.

You shall cleave my black heart from my bosom.

You think he likes me?

Go back!

tell you before I expire.

In years past, the evil High Priest, Maox, ordered King Zed's

unborn child withdrawn from its mother's womb and transplanted inside

a beast of burden.

That child possesses the ability to communicate with all creatures.

From the fields and the skies, they call him the Peacemaster.

But this was not the only child taken from him.

Zed's firstborn was stolen by Xun priests, and the grief

from losing two sons eventually eroded his great mind.

You say I have an older brother?

He is evil, Dar.

If you do not find, since first born by the time of the autumn equinox,

life in this world shall cease to exist.

If you do find him and destroy him, peace and

justice shall prevail.

I must kill my brother.

Ah.

The fate...

on your shoulders.

Now be gone.

I do not want you to see me die.

Wait.

How will I know him? Where will I find him?

Search the western region.

The western region.

Bye.

What sorcery is this?

A dimensional portal.

The doorway to your ultimate triumph, my lord. A world that exists on a parallel

plane with our own.

And what do they call this place?

The natives call it L.A.

L.A.? I have been studying their ways for some time now.

Oh, what marvels they possess.

Indeed.

And one in particular should interest you.

It is housed at one of their military fortresses.

Their men of science call it a neutron detonator.

It's compact enough to carry, yet powerful enough to destroy all life in

an area the size of a continent.

With the threat of such a weapon, I could rule unopposed.

Exactly. Exactly.

Their political structure is based on such weapons. They refer to it as the

balance of terror.

What a brilliantly barbarous concept.

Why do you show me such things?

These are nothing but illusions and pictures.

Have her drawn in quarter.

Fool! Fool!

You laugh in the face of death. I laugh at any fool who would throw away the key

to ultimate power.

We are made for each other, the key of Magog and I. Together and only together

can we come and go through the portal at will and make these pictures reality.

The neutron detonator will be yours.

with me at your side.

Really?

You, the mother of beauty, would be at my side?

You, the queen of radiance, would grace my lonely existence?

You would cast your sparkling eyes upon this tattered face?

and shine your aura upon my throne.

Let haste not be the ruler, lest we forget the purpose.

Come.

Let us discover more about this place you call... L.A.

L.A.

your daughter i have been searching the entire coast for you yes daddy you're

gonna have another asthma attack

unit baker 50 high speed

pursuit request assistance roger baker 5086 responding

can you give me a make on that vehicle the red force

senator trent's daughter the crazy one

It's really hard to remember.

Oh, this is nice.

This is very, very nice.

Yeah, well, you write the report this time. I'm sick and tired. I'm not doing

the... So, uh, where's the

camera?

Yo, Darth Vader, what is this, some kind of movie set?

Okay, drop your weapon. Hey, hey, hey, you're under arrest. You have the right

to remain silent.

You shall remain silent.

Alive! I want them alive!

jesus since when did the governor pardon mental patients unit 86 the headquarters

officers under fire immediate assistance requested a 10 20 intersection where the

hell are we hey how the hell do i know this is not my neighborhood

Marcellus, are we dreaming?

If we were dreaming, we wouldn't have to explain to the captain what happened to

our patrol cars.

Oh.

Get her!

These guys don't give warning shots.

Oh, come on.

Accelerator, bring me the outsider.

Yes, my lord.

Alive. Yes, my lord. Now.

Yes, my lord.

Get the ass, Michael!

What an incredible instrument of destruction this beast would make. I

could roll over entire armies.

It's called a car.

A dar.

A car.

A car.

Let's cross over to the other world now. I know of many other cars and other

wonders of their world. Forget about the girl. Put yourselves in the hand of your

future queen.

So, my little dove, you wish to be my queen.

My son, you don't wish to be your maid.

First, we interrogate the outsider.

My witch.

Where's the auto club when you need them?

Well, there's got to be a main road around here somewhere.

You know that middle of nowhere you always heard about?

I'm here.

PJ, close the blinds.

PJ, go away.

Your breath smells worse than a dead iguana.

PJ, that's disgusting.

That's right. That's good.

Isn't there maybe a ball of string you'd like to go play with?

Mommy will get you a nice can of Nine Live.

Who is this, PJ?

There's no cause to be alarmed.

Well, I don't know about you, but I'd rather eat breakfast than be breakfast.

Beast is my friend.

I see through his eyes, he sees through mine.

I know his thoughts. He knows mine.

It sounds like you guys have a great, meaningful relationship, but just make

him go away.

Rue, over.

You feel better now?

Not really.

Hey, are you one of those crazed bikers, you know, with the crossbows?

Do you have any idea where we are?

The western region.

Oh, well, that's enlightening.

Would you mind being a little bit more specific?

Look, is there a telephone around here maybe that I could use? Or a 7-Eleven

even? Something like that?

7-Eleven?

Whoa!

Your bag's full of rats.

No, these are my ferrets.

This is Kodo and Podo.

They still look like rats to me.

Oh, that was a trip.

Hey, I get it now.

You're with the circus.

We're on a quest.

Sure.

Right.

Well, you know, hey, I'm on a quest, too.

For gas.

See, my Porsche ran out of gas about ten miles back, and, you know, I know Daddy

would pay a lot of money if you would just help me get back to L.A.

You're welcome to join us on our journey westward. Perhaps there you will find

the land you seek.

Well, all right.

I mean, it's the best offer I've gotten all day.

Hey, is that cat gonna come with us?

His name is Roo.

We travel everywhere together.

Must make it really difficult checking into a hotel.

Okay, you're not with the circus.

Maybe a zoo?

Zoo? You know, where they keep all sorts of animals.

The animals are free.

This is their land.

I'm their friend.

Okay, okay.

Jackie Trent.

And you?

Dar.

Dar what?

Dar, do you understand anything I say to you?

No.

Just like Daddy.

Roots.

You'll give it in a loincloth.

Delicious.

It'll keep us alive.

No, thanks.

I'll just stick with the salad bar.

You know, that vulture's been circling above us for about an hour.

That's no vulture.

That's my eagle.

Magnificent bird.

Jarrah!

The boy and his bird.

touching i send him to scout for me he's my eyes

a seeing eye bird

You know, this isn't half bad when it's cooked.

You really do all right for yourself.

You live off the land.

You get along great with animals.

Totally self-sufficient.

Look, Dar, I have to ask.

Were you raised by wolves or what?

So, Dar, tell me, what's with you and these animals?

They're the only family I have.

They sure do love you.

What did you say their names were?

This one's Kodo, and this one's Podo.

Can I hold them?

Wait, which one's Kodo and which one's Bodo?

Yes.

I can't tell the difference.

They're adorable.

Oh, do not be deceived by appearances. They are both very shrewd thieves.

Thieves. They have cunning to get me out of very rocky situations.

It looks like they love you, too.

More of your friends?

Those are the Lost Towns.

That's bad, right?

They stalk the night, searching for souls to drag down into the abyss.

Sounds like a couple of guys I met in Tijuana last night.

Wait.

Where are you going?

To stand guard with Rue.

Don't worry Kodo and photo will stay with you You'll be safe

You'll

take care of me won't you

I know what that cat has that I don't.

Strange, this newcomer, huh?

What do you think?

Take the outsider.

The beast master.

Who are those geeks?

Creep!

We encountered the Beastmaster.

And you let him escape?

Two of my best men are fast upon his heels. My lord.

Appealing little thing.

In a plain sort of a way.

Dar?

Where's Dar?

He rots with his beast.

Do you know where you are?

The Twilight Zone.

Where's Rod Serling?

You are in a parallel world.

Lord Arklon opened the dimensional portal, and you came through.

Way rad.

So, uh, listen.

Leatherface.

How do you suppose I get back through this, uh, portal?

Leatherface.

I shall be happy to take you in exchange for certain information.

Information? Yes.

Hell, I'm loaded with information, you know.

I watch Jeopardy every night.

I seek a weapon known as the Neutron Detonator.

Neutron Detonator? Yes.

Right.

Well, when we're back in Los Angeles, I'll just pick one up for you at Kmart.

Beware of treachery, my lord. Look, Daddy's really good friends with Admiral

Benz. He's the chief of Pacific Operations, and, well, I'm sure he

probably has a whole warehouse full of Neutron Detonators.

Somewhere.

Few people have been foolish enough to betray me, little one.

Girl Scout's honor.

We'll just hop back through that rabbit hole and grab a neutron detonator and

you'll be back by lunch.

Promise.

We go.

The Beastmaster!

No!

I shall kill him with my own hands!

No, come on!

any time our time is limited if you

wish to live he must die yes my lord

Thank you.

Brother? You are the one.

I should have known.

Till death do us part.

You killed your own brother. No, not yet. I merely detained him until a more

propitious moment.

Although I understand why he's such a hard man to kill. After all, he is from

my own blood.

Yeah, well, I bet your mom always liked him best.

Ouch. You know, I've got friends in this town.

You'll never get a...

my sweet little child if you value your health you'll lead us to the neutron

detonator now

Gotta get yourself some fresh threads.

See, apparently, the suspect set fire to some gas lines. Okay, okay.

Guys down here took care of that. But this jerk will not come out of the

alley.

We've tried talking to the guy. He won't say a thing. What?

What the hell is that doing here?

Good question.

There are many of them.

And few of us.

We've called in a biologist from the zoo. He has a tranquilizer dart. I take

it he didn't bring one for Mr. Loincloth?

No, that's why God invented taser guns. Come on, you know how I feel about

tasers. Look, you try rushing him.

Okay, go ahead.

Holy shit.

Zoo's keeping him.

They're sure he's not one of theirs, though.

Okay. Well, find out everything you can about the weirdo.

Have somebody run a query on all loincloth freaks. There can't be that

many of them. Have the whole thing on my desk tomorrow morning.

Chief, tomorrow's Sunday.

You think this can wait till Monday, Bandowski?

I hear you. I thought you would.

And what can we do to you?

My associates, they're looking for a more corporate look.

I should say.

Cultural exchange student. Of course.

Marion.

Yes, Mr. Melwyn? Would you help this lady?

Auckland. Auckland, we must go now.

Today, darling. Look, just in from Paris.

It's the rage.

I... I think we've got a couple of minutes, sir.

And, sir, if you would follow me...

Ow! Where do you think you're going?

I was gonna go try it on, too.

Well, can I go look at the skirts? I mean, they're 60%... Can I go to the

bathroom? Quiet!

Now, sir, here is something just for your name.

Sir,

haven't you anything more befitting my station?

Sir, I assure you, this is the finest virgin wool.

Virgin?

My dear boy, from where I come from, the only thing a virgin is good for is

sacrifice.

Well, I have sacrificed a few in my time, too.

If you were in my kingdom, I would slit you open and disembowel

you.

You know, you should really meet my stress management therapist.

He's done one doll for me.

Sir.

Now,

sir. Sir, if you will just try this on, I'm sure you'll be quite pleased. We

have had three oil sheiks and one Ethiopian potentate purchase this exact

suit. Please, come this way, if you will, please.

This way.

Stay the neutron detonator itself couldn't move me If you're

real

What did I tell you, sir? A perfect fit. And if I may say, the Phantom of the

Opera look is quite chic.

Where is she? To whom are you referring, sir?

Where is she?

sir if you are referring to a woman whom you arrived with i believe she stepped

outside with quite a hurry now shall i wrap this up or would you like to wear

it home i think i'm beginning to like this

l a

Miss Jackie.

I missed you too, Wendell.

You were gone so long that we considered renting out your room.

Oh, Wendell, it's a long story. Well, for your sake, I think that it's a

bestseller. Your father mentioned something about disinheriting you. And

then he leave it without even paying?

So we come down here to investigate.

Anyway, this guy aims this laser thing at the front of the store, you know?

can happen, and then before we know it, everything's destroyed.

What you're trying to tell me, Bandowski, is that there's some stranger

running around with a laser beam blowing brassieres off mannequins.

Yeah, I mean, I can see your point.

I hear you. Well, I'm out of here.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I know what you mean.

Okay, back to square one.

What's your name?

You, Tarzan.

Me, Cobra Lee.

Get it?

Your name?

What is with you people?

Haven't you ever seen Tarzan before? Get back to work!

Okay, let's continue.

Arklon. I must find him.

Right, that's one bad dude. He's evil. Uh-huh. Sit down. Sit down.

Sit.

Well, your pal here busted up a clothing store, and the owner is pretty

pissed.

Mr. Melvin, the city cannot reimburse you.

You know what I don't understand?

How come a clean-cut jungle boy like you is hanging out with a creep like this?

Okay.

But your little friends are going to stay here and you're going to stay here

until you tell me what I want to know.

Sergeant! I know how traumatic a broken window can be.

How do I know?

Sarge!

Look, you go get him, and this time you slap some leg irons on him. You people

get back to work, now!

I found you!

I can't believe it. You're safe?

Well, neither of us is safe until I figure out what I'm going to do with

you. Where's our clown?

I don't know. He's probably on the cover of GQ by now. Who knows?

He's dangerous.

We must find him.

Where are we?

Darbur in my world.

From what I can tell, it's a parallel world to yours.

Only we have more smog.

This is Los Angeles.

L.A.

L.A.? Largest city in California.

Most awesome place in the universe.

This carriage, it moves without horsepower.

I told you. Daddy, to get this thing tuned up, he never listens to me.

Asshole!

Asshole.

Asshole.

Asshole!

Rock and roll, baby.

Rock and roll. It does remind me of an earthquake.

That's right.

Yes, my friends.

White Bob Eric.

That is.

I shall feed on your memories and know all that you know.

You shall tell me how to get to your military base and what skills I need to

survive in your world.

And when you're finished, your mind shall be blank and all that you know

shall cease to be.

No visible dents. Thank you.

Have you heard from Daddy yet? Yes.

Oh, good.

He says you're not to move until he returns tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Wendell, I told you, it can't wait.

Well, he can't be reached. He's in a meeting all day and there's no

telephone. Oh, Wendell. I swear to Miss Jackie.

Sir Wendell.

Well, is there anything to eat? We're totally famished.

For you, Miss Jackie, always.

Dar, in here.

Let's eat.

Does it speak?

Usually to animals.

This is Dar.

He's my friend.

Not another surfer?

No, I'd say he's more of an animal trainer.

Oh, well, your father will be overjoyed. Is this to eat or

to look upon?

Good question.

Eat.

What?

Look, I haven't eaten anything but roots for the last few days, okay?

Another of your exotic diets?

Is he housebroken?

Miss Jackie, I think this may

be going too far.

Don't worry, Wendell. This is Chirac, Cotto, and Poto.

They won't hurt you. My God.

Your food.

Very colorful.

Well, colorants and preservatives are our main source of nutrition.

Short in life, but they taste good.

Miss Jackie, this has gone far enough.

I'm calling your father.

Good, because when do we really need to talk to him? Our club.

We must find him.

Come on, darling, let's watch the six o'clock news.

Is Senator Trent there?

Yes, I know he's in a meeting.

But this is an emergency.

Tell him I will not be responsible.

For what?

For a pterodactyl and a bunch of rats loose in the house.

What

are

these images?

These are pictures.

See, that's one of Daddy and me.

And this is Daddy and my mom.

She's not with us any longer.

She is... away on a journey?

No, she died a couple of years ago.

You must miss her.

I do.

Come on, let's watch the news.

What is this?

This is television, Dar.

Pictures of our world.

Doctors say that former President Reagan will be able to dress himself again in

no time. See, nobody admits that they watch it, but almost everybody has at

least two of them. The Army Research Center is about to test a nuclear device

known as the neutron detonator.

What are you doing here?

I'm singing.

I study music.

See, it's real important to me to convey emotion.

You know, like laughs or tears.

According to an article in the National Interfire, this weapon is capable of

destroying all life in a thousand mile radius.

The government, however, has given no official word of its existence. Detron

detonator. This geek is really trying to get the bomb.

Reporting live from the Naval Research Center here at Long Beach.

Can you find him?

My pedal is already to the metal.

And we can't go dressed like this.

Daddy's got a lot in here that will fit you. Go, Birdie, please. Go away. Fly

away home.

Here, put this on.

Yeehaw!

You look great.

Let's get out of here.

Pardon me, sir.

I'll be your liaison here on the base, Lieutenant Colonel.

You again.

At your service.

Somehow I expected to find you here, Laura.

Great minds think alike.

Suppose you know where the neutron detonator is located?

Well, of course. I even have the security badges to get us inside.

Badges? I don't need badges.

I'm sorry, sir, but I cannot allow you inside.

What do you care to explain that, Sergeant?

Your papers are correct, but your badges only give you E2 clearance.

This is an E1 security area.

You want me to tell General Binns that we were refused entry because security

made some error and gave us the wrong badges? That won't be necessary, ma'am.

I'll call security right now.

I'm sure we can clear this matter up immediately.

Red alert red alert sector B

hate that when it happens one of my former partners had the same problem

no

wait the detonators aren't we gotta stop

Go go go go go go go!

All that you know shall be mine.

Out of my brain!

Oh yes, oh yes, yes, yes!

So my lovely, lovely, you intended to kill me so you could rule my kingdom by

yourself? No, you need me to get out!

The portal opens only on a full moon.

And that's tonight.

Bye-bye.

Lady, nobody's getting in during a red alert.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

Our clock!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Don't you know the Vulcan death grip or something a little less violent?

What, you again?

At your service.

What do you want me to do, fly?

Well, you are a witch, aren't you?

Now get out!

You need me to help you find him.

I thought you were on Arklon's side.

I'm on my side, kid.

In your world, I'd be an arbitrage.

Arklon is going to the portal.

That alley that we came through.

He is two hours after sundown to pass through, or it closes on him.

It'll take us at least that long to get there. You'd better be telling the

truth, witch.

I know, I know. You'll cleave my black heart from my bosom.

You know, for the life of me, I don't know why everyone wants to cleave my

bosom. Trust me, it cleaves just fine by itself.

Yeah, well, if you hadn't let him go in the first place... Yeah.

Yeah, I know you lost him. Yeah, yeah. Well, we're here with General Benz right

now, working out a plan.

Uh-huh.

Right? Yeah. Well, I'd say, uh, about a half

hour. And the whole world, cab louie.

Cab louie.

Okay, General.

Okay, the point is...

Will you be able to stop the damn thing once we find it? Yeah, yeah.

Half an hour.

And then, kablooey.

Chief, we're checking the alley where we found her.

What are you doing here? Get down there. Go on.

Then return to our world with me.

All this evil must cease.

Oh, my dearest brother.

Brother!

The things I could have taught you.

Things.

Unfortunately, I don't have the time.

I have to get back to our world with this device and without you.

You must pass me first.

Really? Well, that's nothing but a minor inconvenience, isn't it, little brother?

Don't you just love this town?

The music, the lights.

He thinks I'm going back to dusty old desert woods and he's brain dead.

Lerana, look, you gotta do me a favor, okay?

You have to reach my father, Senator Trent.

Who is Senator?

Well, it's not a world ruler, but it's a start.

I have to help Dar.

Hey, be careful.

I tell you the truth.

I would rather Ben an only child.

Hope you've enjoyed flying Jackie Airlines.

Who taught you to operate this thing?

Me.

They lost him. I want all available choppers to the north side. This is the

code six. I repeat, code six.

Bandowski, let's get out of here. Come on.

Now, let us make haste.

Arklon must not be allowed to escape.

That's easier said than done

It's

traveling through a leafy green area brick buildings

Sounds like Griffith Park to me.

We're on our way

Something's happened.

Animals.

Bingo!

To my kingdom!

My kingdom!

You've been spying on me again, haven't you?

You and I...

Have a score to settle, little beast.

Oh, yes.

Look at these scars you gave me!

Look!

You've bothered me for too long, little brother.

Now I think a time we separate.

He was my friend.

Now it's time to learn the real power of our God, brother.

Sword to sword.

Man to man for the possession of devices.

A flair for the dramatics. I like that.

You realize this key still has enough power to ignite the weapon.

Then we both die.

How glorious.

What a glorious death.

Think of the multitudes of souls who we will take to hell with us.

It's good to see you again, friend.

I'd feel better if you held on to that for a while.

Now, shall we continue?

of the jungle, the noble lion, and the Tasmanian hedgehog.

Mortal enemies in the wild, but here at Adventure Island, living in complete

harmony.

It's the most exciting live animal act west of the Serengeti.

Our trainers have worked long and hard to overcome their natural animosity.

See how they express themselves.

Must die. It is such a pity it must be you. We're of the same blood.

My little brother.

Aren't they just adorable?

Watch them frolic together in the center ring.

Adventure Island's most engaging couple.

Let's see if we can get them to kiss.

I cannot believe we come from the same blood.

The Hedgehog hasn't had his dinner yet.

Separated from Zed at birth.

You were kidnapped by the terrible Chuns! I am a Chun.

I have no brother, only enemies!

opens his arms, and beckons for you. The beauty!

What poetry.

Perhaps you'd like to recite it again?

A little higher this time?

Do not wait to make peace.

Peace is for the weak!

General Vince, the detonator is here. We have to hurry.

Take care of those animals, Vandalsky. Watch where you step.

I remember this.

One of these.

Oh,

I remember.

He remembers. I think. He thinks he remembers.

It's, uh... Ah!

Ah.

Well, just do something.

Ah, son.

I knew this weekend would turn out like this.

Star You

have

to go back to your world This is a great responsibility it's

time someone used it for the benefit of my people

Thank you.

For being my friend.

More than that.

Oh, I almost forgot to give you your little thieves.

Oh.

No.

I want them to stay with you.

Somebody to keep you out of trouble.

Oh, come on, me get into trouble?

Well, I guess they don't look much like Raph after all.

And you, you're just a big pussycat, aren't you?

Should I say goodbye?

You... Will you... You know, I mean, after you straighten things out in your

world, think you might come back sometime?

I would like that very much.

And... I have the key.

Oh, coro and poro.

Talk about your wild weekends.

This one goes down in the record books.

Sword fights to the death.

Thermonuclear destruction.

Time travel to a land that doesn't have gas stations.

I mean, how much fun can a girl take?

I know.

I'm gonna miss him too.

He was really something special.

Good day, brother.

It seems you've traveled a long distance.

You'll never know.

What brings you to this forsaken desert?

My brothers and I are on a pilgrimage.

We've come to worship the sacred object left by the gods.

No one knows what it is or how it works, but everyone wants to possess it.

Rock and roll.

Rock and roll.

Rock and roll.

Rock and roll.

I'm a human being. Since I met you, you've turned my-

Oh,

babe. I try to survive.

too.