Original subtitles

Okay, Mr. Fibonacci, let's see how we did with your hair transplant.

I think you're going to be very happy.

Wow.

This is fantastic.

Thank you, Doctor.

You're very welcome.

Good luck finding the girls off.

Oh, hey, Doc, just a sec. I have a little pain in my side.

That's odd.

Have you had a kidney removed lately?

No, I don't think so.

My wife usually handles that stuff, though. Yeah.

You know what? I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, I might call the cops and

report an organ theft, but just to be totally safe.

Will do. All right. Thanks, Doc.

You bet.

Stay with me, Tribeca. Is she going to be okay?

Oh, no. She's definitely going to die.

Will you marry me?

I said I'm going in!

I'm going in!

I'm going in!

Angie. Come to the other side, Angie.

Sergeant Pepper?

Where are you? I'm here.

Where?

Angie.

Nurse!

Sweetheart, what's the matter?

What are you doing here? What am I doing here? I'm your husband. We moved in

together after they fit all the brains back in your head.

Oh, looks like someone needs his mommy.

Rebecca, I'll be right there.

You wanted to see us, sir?

I need you two to get over to the hospital.

Somebody's stealing organs.

Do we know who? It would save a lot of time.

I'm afraid not.

But we better find out before the mayor opens his new cancer research wing.

After his campaign manager turned out to be a murderer, he's desperate for

anything to boost his approval ratings.

So he opens a cancer wing to appease the anti-cancer voters.

I know, Tribeca. It's a cynical time.

Now, because of the very specific nature of the case, the department has assigned

a romance novelist to advise you. Her thoughts may seem whimsical and

pointless at first, but in the end, you'll realize she was right all along.

Giles, Tribeca.

Miss Jackie Wilder.

I'll never forget you.

My succulent, rippling man-lion.

And I'll never forget you, chick I met on the elevator 30 seconds ago.

Hello, detectives.

I'm very much looking forward to working with... Wait a second.

You two are in love.

What? That's ridiculous.

Don't tell a tale to a tale-teller.

It's the oldest story in the world.

Girl cop gets boy partner.

Boy falls in love with girl.

Girl explodes and falls into year-long coma.

You couldn't be more wrong.

You should stick to writing novels, Miss Wilder.

You? Your story's written all over your face.

Poor family.

Ran away with the circus for a better life.

Eleven long, hard years of riding the rails as a strong man.

I bet you're still sending money home to Romania, huh, kid?

And you?

You are a lover.

A man of passion and romance.

I see you dead in a boating accident in 16 months.

Sholes.

Rebecca. Ooh, cozy.

What are you looking at, Sholes? Wait a minute.

You two.

Patient went in for a routine hair transplant, came out missing a kidney.

Anything point to who did this? We won't know until we cut him open.

I'm sorry, until you what? Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to keep quiet.

This is a crime scene.

Here, put a little bit of this under your nose for the smell. Thank you.

Sir, I'm not going to ask you again.

Oh, yeah.

Whoever did this had medical training. You can see here and here where they

clamped the blood supply.

And look at this suture knot.

This was no butcher.

This was a crime of passion.

Someone did this for love.

Actually, Jackie, we find that generally organ theft is a crime for money and

profit. Oh, really?

Detective Tribeca?

Is that what you find?

Well, let me tell you what I find.

I find that it's very tough for you to be back in a hospital after what

happened to you.

The sounds, the smells.

Bringing back a flood of memories.

Year of life.

Gone.

A year that could have been.

Aching.

In your loins. Hey!

I've had bad loins since I was a kid.

We should have a word with the chief of the hospital.

Let's start with hello and then go from there.

Nothing happens in this hospital that I don't know about.

So who do you think is stealing organs? Someone is stealing organs? We have to

put a stop to that immediately.

Are you aware this is the only hospital in Los Angeles that turns a profit? I

don't think I like what you are insinuating. Yes, we make money.

We do it honestly. We gouge the patients in their most vulnerable time.

Can I have another blanket, please? Yes, of course you can. I will get it myself.

Two grand.

We're going to need a list of the nurses and doctors who were present during

those surgeries.

I'd be happy to help, but there would be some small processing fees.

How about this?

You give us a list or you go to jail.

You'll like it. It's free.

Socialist. Are you okay? You look a bit tired.

I haven't been sleeping much.

Auntie Tribeca?

Nurse Slow Boobs. How you doing since the coma, baby?

Oh, we were so worried about you. I feel much better, thanks.

And where's that cute guy that used to come and visit you every day?

He's right here. Detective Giles.

No, not him.

Another man.

Scruffier. More of a movie guy.

Well, it sounds like you're describing Eddie Pepper, but that's impossible

because he... He disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

It was just a dream.

Was it?

I don't know anymore.

Oh, I think you do.

He's out, Dr. Brainerd. Thank you, Dr. Stern. Scalpel?

So did you notice anything unusual during Mr.

Fibonacci's hair transplant?

No, no, it was totally routine.

Would someone mop my brow? Of course, doctor.

Have you seen this kidney?

Oh, gross.

Why would you show me that?

Because this kidney went missing from your patient during your surgery.

Sorry, Dr. Sine.

Nurse Barton, try to be a little more careful. I remember he said something

about that. Will someone rub my shoulders, please? Of course, doctor.

More pressure.

Apply more pressure.

Okay.

All righty.

I'm ready for the new hair.

Thank you.

Stapler.

You know, I wouldn't even have the expertise to remove a kidney.

I was booted out of surgical rotation because of my phobia of internal organs.

See?

Organophobic. His story checks out.

Nurse, would you finish up, please? Of course.

So what you're saying is you're nowhere.

Just remember, you can't spell nowhere without now and here.

Lieutenant, can you take this woman off our case? She's incredibly irritating.

Why don't you let me worry about who's on the case and you worry about shutting

down the organ pipeline before the mayor's ribbon cutting?

Wait a minute.

Pipeline?

Pipeline, that's it. Pipelines have two ends. If we can't figure out how the

organs are coming in, maybe we can figure out where they're coming out.

The black market.

In my fifth novel, Passion Feast, the heroine bought all her handbags on the

black market in hopes of convincing Thomas that she was an heiress instead

of a shop girl.

But what she didn't know is that Thomas was only a cobbler's son.

Of course.

The black market. Tanner, what do you know about the black market?

Why are you asking me? No reason. I just thought you might know.

Why would I know?

Because you're a detective with experience on the streets.

Why didn't you ask Rebecca?

Because I can't tell if she has experience on the streets or not.

I know he doesn't.

I have some.

On my father's side.

Boy, that was uncomfortable.

Excuse me, Miss Wilder. Would you mind signing my copy of your third novel, A

Confusing Promise?

I will, but there's something I need to do first.

There. That's better.

Now, who should I make it out to? Oh, uh, Monica Scholz?

Enjoy.

Dear Monica, the baby you're raising was not born out of a Canadian love tryst.

Keep dancing like no one's watching Jackie Wilder.

Hit basement, please.

Ding! No, no, this is only two.

Firearms! You got those untraceable firearms!

Cigarettes! Non-electric cigarettes!

Quaaludes! Vintage Quaaludes!

Grenade sample?

Can you tell us where we can find the illegal organs?

Oh, there's a guy just over there.

Best organs in town.

Nurse Barton?

We should go pick her up.

Oh. Oh, can we look just for a second? Just for fun?

No, we discussed this.

You're right.

Nurse Barton.

Does that hurt when I use that name?

Nurse? Your parents had all these hopes and dreams for you and all you could

become is a nurse.

The lowest of the low.

Contributing nothing to society.

A parasite.

Take it easy, Tribeca.

I think it's amazing that you became a nurse.

I definitely feel safer with him.

Just tell me, sweetheart. Tell me how you got the kidney.

I told you.

After the doctor left.

I made an incision, and I took the kidney out.

You're a lying whore!

Who is she?

She's a romance novelist who's working the case with us.

Oh, okay, so you're doing good cop, bad cop, romance novelist? Believe me, not

by choice.

There's no way she has the surgical training to remove a kidney.

If you remember in my fourth novel, Open Wide, say, uh, an orderly is charged for

overdosing patients with morphine until they realize...

He has no idea how to start an IV.

She's protecting the person who did this because she loves him.

Or her.

If you remember my second novel, Summer Scissor Sisters.

We'll have the judge go easy on you if you tell us who you're working with.

It was just me.

Alone. I see.

He's married.

And you think he's going to leave her for you.

Well, take it from me, sweetheart.

They never leave.

I have nothing more to say.

She's protecting someone in that hospital.

Someone she loves.

But she confessed.

Lock her up, throw away the key.

I'll call the mayor, tell him he's clear to open up the cancer wing. We get

cancer, we go there, they treat us, everybody's happy.

I don't know, Lieutenant.

I don't think she did it either.

So now everybody we lock up has to have done it?

Tribeca, what do you think?

I hate to say it, but, uh, Jackie Wilder's right.

I agree.

Whoever did this is still out there.

There's only one way to draw him out.

Giles does surgery.

On me.

Tribeca, for God's sake, you know about your fear of comas.

Let me be the patient, you be the doctor. If I'm ever gonna put this fear

behind me, I gotta go back under.

But everyone heard me volunteer, right?

Hold on a second, Dr. Stein.

You're going to be okay.

I know. I trust you.

But be on the lookout for anybody trying to take my organs.

Copy that.

All right, let's get started.

Sharp, cutty thing?

Ow! Right through the glove.

Shit, that hurt.

Okay, here we go.

Concentrating, concentrating.

Giles, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure. What's up?

Our son, Angela.

Who's his mother?

Is that really important? Who's his mother?

Do people really care who their mom is?

In my family, it's a tradition.

It was some Canadian chick I slept with who I've never spoken to again.

What part of that doesn't make sense? As far as I'm concerned, you're Angie's

mother. Case closed.

Case reopened based on new evidence.

Yeah, that's pretty damning.

Monica, I'm sorry.

Goodbye, Giles.

Oh, come on. Don't do the walk away.

Where's my scalpel?

Where's Dr.

Stein?

Angie, you're gonna be okay, you hear me?

I'm gonna find your kidney and I'm gonna put it back inside you and everything's

gonna be okay because I love you.

And that thing with me and Shoals, it's over.

I broke it off, no matter what she says.

It's you and me all the way, baby.

He's never gonna leave her, is he?

It's Dr. Stein, the anesthesiologist.

He takes the organs and I sell them on the black market.

It's a profit scheme.

I'm so proud of you.

I'm proud of all of you, because in the

end...

Dr.

Stein, hold the elevator.

Thanks so much.

Angie.

Come to the other side, Angie.

Sergeant Pepper?

Where are you? I'm here.

Where?

Marco?

Rubio?

Surgeon Pepper.

Angie.

Angie. Angie.

Angie.

What happened?

Did they take my kidney?

Yes, but I found it, and I put it back in.

Angie,

you did it. You conquered your fear of comas, and I conquered my fear of

performing surgery.

Thanks, Giles.

So I told you this when you were unconscious, but Scholz and I, and this

was completely my decision, we broke up.

I'm sorry.

I think it really bothered her that I lied about who I had the baby with.

Women are complicated.

Anyway, I'm kind of hoping that... Giles, I think I have to find some

things out first.

Oh, yeah.

Sure.

Of course.

What things?

It's kind of personal.

Okay. I get that.

Can I know? No. No.

for putting my kidney back.

I'll think about you every time I pee.

Yo.

Check it out. This new book just came out based on this case.

Check it out.

I am so excited to cut the ribbon for the Joe Perry Center for Weird Moles and

Worrisome Lumps.

It is my dream to one day cure cancer so that once again we may all enjoy the

pleasures of smoking and drinking.

Hey, Nurse Low Boobs. What is it, Sugar?

I was wondering if I could see the visitor's log from when I was in a coma.

Oh, sure, yeah.

Oh, I got it right here.