Original subtitles

Ready or not, here I come.

Margaret's there.

There was this girl

and her parents were always out

and she didn't like it.

She got frightened.

So they bought her a dog.

One night the parents are out,

and she's lying in bed,

and she can hear this drip, drip, drip.

She gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom

and turns off all the taps, gets back into bed,

bit scared. Sticks her hand under the bed,

and the dog licks it.

But she can still hear it.

Drip, drip, drip.

So she gets up and goes to the kitchen,

makes sure the tap there is turned off properly,

gets back into bed, sticks her hand under the bed.

The dog licks it.

But she can still hear it.

Drip, drip, drip.

And now she realizes it's coming

from the wardrobe in her bedroom.

Terrified, she gets up,

goes over to the wardrobe

and opens it.

The dog is hanging from the rail,

blood dripping from its slit throat.

And written on the back of the wardrobe

in blood:

"Humans can lick too."

That's rubbish.

It's not rubbish. You was terrified.

I wasn't.

I'm going to sleep.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Now I need the toilet.

What if the dog's in there with his throat slit?

We don't have a dog.

Oh my god, what's that?!

What was that?

Maybe she should take the day off. I can look after her.

If people took a day off every time they got the curse,

the whole bloomin' world would grind to a halt.

Margaret knows what to do.

I've given her the necessary.

Let's have a look.

Have a nice term, Johnny. See you at Christmas.

But that's only if you survive the first day of big school.

Cut it out you two or I'll bang your heads together.

Stop.

Monsters.

Nervous?

No.

I was just thinking:

Why wasn't there any clothes in the wardrobe?

I mean, how come she could see the writing on the back?

I dunno. Maybe the licker was wearing them.

Aw...pervert.

You can hang around with me if you like.

I'll bloody kill you.

Wasn't me!

Billy uses it all the time!

I...

M-M-M...maybe it was Johnny.

Blame the one who isn't here.

Look, no more, do you hear me?

I've got enough to deal with as it is.

What does it feel like?

Like someone's yanking on your insides.

You don't feel the bleeding.

You feel the pad getting heavy.

It's like having mud in your pants.

Eurgh!

Quiet in there.

Night.

Sleep tight. Don't let the bugs bite.

Oh...Stop it. I'm really tired.

You stop it!

Janet, it's not funny. Mum'll flip.

I'm not doing anything!

Janet...

Hold my hand.

I am holding your bleeding hand.

That's not my hand.

Go on, piss off.

If this is you, I'll kill you.

It's inside the room.

What is wrong with the both of you?!

Haven't we all had enough of a day already?

The same bed.

It's bad enough wearing yourselves out, now Billy too...

Watch me! Watch!

Oh, no.

Oh, dear, dear... oh... oh...

What is going on?

That was a bit of a nasty shock, wasn't it, eh?

It hurts!

Well, let's... Let's have a look shall we?

Am I bleeding?

Bad dreams?

No.

Did you dream about her?

No.

Any plans for the day?

Er...

Hello?

Er, yes, yes, this is... This is Maurice grosse...Yes...

Oh, oh, right...

Oh, well, thank you. Thank you for thinking of me.

Spr.

Well, I...I could...

No, of course, well, I'll do my best.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Something's come up.

Well, you have to go then, Maurice.

Yes. Yes, I know, of course, yes. Yeah.

It's probably nothing.

I know. Yeah.

Hello?

Ray?

I have to see you.

That's a domino. There's a marble,

and that. Look at their hands.

Has your paper published these yet?

No, they're waiting on more of a story.

We didn't know who else to call.

They'd already tried the police.

Here they are.

Margaret, Janet, Billy.

Maurice grosse, from the society of psychical research.

The cavalry's arrived!

Janet?

What?

And Margaret... and Billy. Have I...Have I got that right?

Er...mr bence was just telling me that you've...

You've had the police here.

For all the use that was.

They didn't believe us at first.

Then that chair come at the lady police officer.

Thought she was going to piss herself.

Janet.

To be honest, our editor wouldn't have sent us

if it wasn't for the police.

No.

Gives the story credibility. No offense.

Redecorating?

It's been like that since dad left.

Thought you said it was brand new.

Don't know what's wrong with it.

It was working fine.

What you doing?

Graham already photographed that.

Well, I like to have a copy for my own files.

Is this what you do for a living?

I have a business, inventing things.

So what's the society of cyclical research, then?

Psychical research.

It's a group of people who are interested

in this sort of thing.

How come we got you?

Well...

I've been pestering the secretary for some time

for a case and I...

Don't suppose everybody can afford to take the time off.

Are you rich?

Janet hodgson, what sort of question is that?

You mind your manners. Get in that bath.

Kids, eh.

You got any, Mr. Grosse?

Three.

Oh, that's nice. I'm making Johnny's bed up for you...

If you ever want to kip down.

Oh, very kind.

Go on. Piss off.

Now...

This knocking, Margaret...

How many at a time?

Three.

No. First it was in fours, then threes.

I'm interviewing Margaret now, Janet.

I'll do you later, if that's all right with you.

Why does she get to go first?

You were in the bath.

Why do I always have to use her disgusting bathwater?

Because I'm the oldest.

Have a nice bath, Billy. The water's lovely.

Billy?

It's alright. It's alright...

What happened?

He was here!

A horrible old man! I saw him!

Through that.

Shh... It's alright. It's alright.

It's...

I saw it.

It's cracked.

But I saw something horrible!

Well, you shouldn't have been looking through it!

It's not yours!

So, the night that it happened...

Are there lots of poltergeists around?

No. It's a pretty rare phenomenon.

How many have you seen?

Hold, hold, hold on a minute. Who's asking the questions here?

How can anybody get any sleep here

with that canary going on all the time?

He only sings when there's someone in the room.

At night, zip. My turn: What are your pills for?

What pills?

You rattle when you walk.

Old bones.

Liar, liar, your pants are on fire.

I do have old bones.

But I've also got a thing called angina.

That's what the pills are for.

It's a tightening of the chest.

I get tight in my chest sometimes.

Like there's a scream inside that can't come out.

Oh, dear me, what's happened here?

I'm getting in with mum.

Don't go. Maybe it won't happen again!

Hm...

I was asleep, and then, crash! That was over there.

I was only doing it so you'd believe me.

And now you never will.

Just get some sleep.

Oh...damn.

I'm getting a bit long in the tooth

for grandmother's footsteps.

I saw it as clearly as I can see you now.

And you're not just saying this because you broke the teapot?

Janet!

Oh, my god!

My first ever cover story.

Oh!

Thank you very much.

Well!

Let's have a look!

I don't think they messed around with your quotes

too much, Maurice.

And look...

There we are!

Nice one of you, Janet.

Look at you!

Farrah fawcett, eat your heart out...

Oh, look.

Wasn't me. It was the poltergeist.

Leave off.

I'm not doing nothing. Must be the poltergeist.

I didn't ask for it.

So...why do you look so fucking pleased with yourself?

That's you, ain't it?

"A strange happening".

Pick up your mess.

Why don't you get the poltergeist to help you?

Where's Margaret?

Ask Margaret.

H-h-hi, Janet...

Don't! That's...

Shush, Billy.

Smash any more teapots?

How are you feeling, Janet?

Fine.

I was wondering if you had enough energy for us

to try and make contact ...With the poltergeist.

Just let your mind...Go blank.

What you doing?

Making contact with the poltergeist.

What you want to do that for?

To see what it wants.

You can join us if you like.

I've got homework.

So, relax, Janet.

Just...

Let the thoughts...

Ebb from your mind...

Like, erm...

Like water...

Going down the plughole...

And if a new thought comes along,

it's just passing through, and it's all...

It's all goin' down the plughole.

Mr. Grosse, can I ask you something?

Why, of course you can, Janet.

How many poltergeists have you actually dealt with?

None.

That's ok. We can learn together.

Hm...

Front door.

Hello.

Maurice grosse?

Yes.

Guy playfair. How do you do? I'm a colleague of yours at the spr.

Yes. Yes of course. Yes...

I saw the mirror. Thought maybe you could use a hand.

Oh...

Guy playfair.

Is that your real name or is that just for your books?

Er, for my books I use guy Lyon playfair.

You play fair with me, I'll play fair with you. Ok?

Playfair...

The girls' room...

So...Are the poltergeists in Brazil

different from the ones here?

Well, let's just wait and see, shall we?

Er, could you pop the kettle on for us?

G-g-guy.

She's a spirited thing, isn't she?

I thought there were four of them.

Well, the elder boy's at residential school.

Boarding school?

Behavioral problems.

Oh, right. And that little chap,

I can't make out a word he's saying.

Billy? Well, he has a speech impediment.

Oh, good. I thought it was me.

Listen, I hope you don't think I'm butting in.

No, no, no, no. No, i'm...Glad for the help.

And, er...The expertise.

What does it do?

Er, just imagine it isn't there.

Ow!

Uh-oh.

Ow.

Stop that. Stop that.

Hey!

Oops.

How does it get them to fall from that height

and just stop dead?

It?

The poltergeist.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

Well, you saw it!

I saw naughty children throwing marbles.

But did you, though? And tell me,

how can it or they

get one to go over that light,

hit that lamp with such velocity that it destroyed it?

Well, you saw that.

Now forgive me, guy...

One thing I know is trajectories.

Six years in the royal artillery in the war.

Hold the front page:

"Marble behaves oddly! Another strange happening!"

But it is strange.

Yes, but you don't go running to the papers,

bandying around the good name of the spr,

the first time you can't explain something.

I never ran to the papers. They came running to us.

And who called them? They did.

They're in it for the money.

What money? And, incidentally, they didn't call the papers.

The neighbors did.

When they'd experienced something.

Right, so that's ...That's me,

the hodgsons, three neighbors,

the boys from "mirror", and the woman police officer.

I can tell you about the journalists.

And who is this woman police officer?

For all we know, she's as gullible as you are.

You're not here to lend a hand, are you?

Professor beloff sent me.

He's, er...

He's worried that you're bringing the August society

of which he is president, into...

Disrepute with your credulity

and your "mirror" headlines.

So you're here to close me down?

I'm not looking to make friends, Maurice.

I...well, I'm going to bed.

You can have the put-me-up.

Margaret!

It's ok.

It's all right.

Alright!

You alright, Janet?

It's alright. Come on, it's alright.

Up you get. It's alright.

Shh... what... What..What happened?

He was here. He put a hand over my mouth and I couldn't breathe.

Who?

What happened?

She had a bad dream.

I was awake! It happened!

I'm afraid the mind is rather brilliant at creating, sens...

Did I imagine the canary and all?!

I know what it wants. It wants to hurt me.

You saw it?

Can we see that again, please?

It's not supposed to do that.

Oh, can you stop doing that. Stop doing that, please.

Take us back to the live feed.

She's gone.

I don't like that thing looking at me.

Come on. Let's...

Let's pop you back into bed, shall we?

Night-night.

Jump in there. You get nice and tucked up. That's it.

Just straighten you...

Yes, I see what you mean. It's that one eye.

Maybe if there was two it would be a bit friendlier, eh?.

And some sticky-out ears and a big smile?

What was it like in the war?

Well...

Scary, exciting, boring... Just like life really.

It was a different age.

Food was rationed. There was no sweets, no chocolate.

Tell me a story from them times.

No, no. You don't want to hear about all that.

I do.

Well...

It wasn't all bad.

Run-up to d-day, I went to a tea dance.

And there was the most beautiful girl

that I'd ever seen...

She was dancing with another girl. And, I, I just knew I...

Knew I had to go up and ask her to dance.

She agreed to see me. Same time, same place, next week.

It was the longest week of my life.

Anyway, time came, and I was there, and I waited.

And I waited and...No...

She didn't show up.

And I hadn't got her name. I didn't know where she lived.

I mean, it's stupid, but that's what it was like in wartime.

The girl...

I was meant to be with.

The woman... I was meant to be with.

Gone forever.

Just as I was walking away,

she came running round the corner

apologizing for being late.

I proposed to her that day.

Cor. Then what happened?

They said it wouldn't last.

And here we are, 33 years later.

Come on, I think it's time you got some sleep.

It's all my fault.

Right before it started,

we were playing hide and seek.

It...it's out of bounds but

I hid in the graveyard at the end of the road.

Maybe something come home with me.

I'll look into it. But, er...

I don't think that's anything you need to lose sleep over.

You haven't done anything wrong.

Don't leave me alone with it.

What, with that?

It.

I won't. Come on.

Tell me, how can a girl asleep in her bed do that?

Of course, just because it's the whole street,

doesn't mean it isn't a poltergeist.

The government and the unions would love that.

Give them a break from blaming each other.

Hm...

I get the impression that, er...

You don't want there to be a poltergeist.

No, it's not that. It's not that at all.

Although I wouldn't wish a poltergeist on anyone.

It's just that I, erm...

What I don't want is people whipping themselves up

into a frenzy over things that can be explained away

quite easily.

Hmm...

Tell me, erm...

Tell me about one of your cases in Brazil.

There's a village,

about two hundred miles west of Sao paolo.

Ribeirao do pinhal.

No power cuts there. There's no electricity.

What there was, supposedly, was a house possessed by spirits.

Most of the attention was centered around

this 13-year-old boy. Braulio.

And he had such a sort of wide-eyed innocence

that, of course, I was instantly suspicious.

Even when I saw him nearly choke to death

as he... Sicked up a half-alive frog,

tears of shock in those wide eyes.

I thought, "it's a trick. It's a conjuror's trick."

But?

Well, er, then I saw him levitate.

I saw him slammed repeatedly against the wall.

And he would vomit up far worse things than a frog.

What happened?

Erm...he died.

God, how awful.

I don't think we're dealing with anything like that here.

Because it's Enfield?

No, because...

High-spirited girls have been pulling these sort of pranks

for centuries.

It's impossible to believe it

till you see it for yourself.

That's what I always say.

So, how long have you been a member of the society?

Er...it was just after our daughter died, so that's...

That's just over a... Over a year now.

Your daughter died a year ago?

My god, how ghastly. Maurice, I'm so sorry.

Did you, er...

Did you know it was coming?

Bolt out of the blue.

Late-night phonecall, every parent's worst nightmare.

She'd been on the back of her boyfriend's motorbike.

There was an accident, and...

The thing is, almost immediately afterwards,

we felt, and other members of the family,

that...that Janet was trying to contact us.

Janet?

Yeah, that was my daughter's name.

Oh. There we are.

How could you not mention that your daughter was called Janet?

It's not relevant.

Oh, it is.

It is, one might say it is the relevant fact. Good grief.

Hang on, hang on, hang on a minute...

When people scream "poltergeist",

the first question I always ask

is: What's the pay-off for them?

It couldn't be clearer.You're running away from your grief.

I saw a teapot move of its own accord, right there.

You see what you want to see.

You see what you want to see.

A silly old man. And guy Lyon playfair, the great expert.

I am the expert.

This is over.

You're a journalist. If this is fraud,

then you should be able to find proof of fraud.

Alright.

Alright, I'll stay. I'll find out what's really going on.

On one condition: You're not here.

I, I can't do that, no. I...

I promised Janet I wouldn't leave her alone.

Well, you wouldn't be leaving her alone.

You're leaving her with me.

Alright.

It's, er...It's just for a bit.

Janet! Janet!

Alright, alright, alright!

...Discedas...

Admoveat...

We ought to be asking it questions.

Stop it!

Speak!

Sit in the corner...

Little bitch!

Little bitch!