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Good evening.
Welcome to the Alfred Hitchcock Tale Hour.
The next time I buy a ship model kit, I intend to read the directions more
closely. I have one consolation to being unceremoniously bottled
like this.
That is...
Wine connoisseurs will say this will be considered a good year.
However, I feel I have aged enough. I only hope I am let out while I still
have some fizz.
During my absence, you will be entertained by The Jar, a story about
some people who found a very strange source of fascination. It begins 60
seconds from now.
Hi, honey. See you later.
You still here, bud?
We're closing up. Everybody's gone home.
You like it, don't you?
Oh. Most everybody likes it in a peculiar kind of way, you know.
But you've been standing around here for about three hours just looking at it.
Yeah, I saw the way they all looked at it.
Even the folks from town, the way they looked at it was something.
You don't live here? No, I live in Wilder's Holler, about ten miles from
here.
What is it?
What is it?
What do you think it is?
I don't know.
I got an idea, but I ain't sure.
Seems to change.
But it sure is something, though.
Well, that's it, bud. We're closing up for tonight.
You ever think of... I mean, you wouldn't want to sell it, would you?
The jar?
Yeah, the jar.
Well, uh, I'd like to sell a jar to somebody that, uh, had enough money.
Uh, how much money?
How much money?
Oh, say, uh, three or four.
Uh, maybe, uh, seven or eight dollars.
Ten or fifteen?
Say a guy had $12.
Yeah, uh, $12 and I'd sell a jar.
I'd just been standing here thinking how looked up to I'd be back in Wilder's
Holler if I was to take home something like this jar and set it on my table
there.
Folks would have respect for somebody that owned something like this.
Would you sell it to me for $12?
Well, uh... That's all I got.
No. No, wait.
Here's another quarter.
Now, that's all I got.
Well, to tell you the truth, I'm getting tired of carting it around the country
all the time, and it's been giving me a little trouble.
I've been thinking kind of funny things about it lately.
Yeah?
What kind of things?
I don't know.
That's funny things.
You still want it?
Oh, yeah, yeah, I do.
Okay, I'll sell it to you then.
Get him, Clem. Driving too fast.
Can't have that in Wilder's holler.
Yeah.
I'll get him tomorrow.
Fine law you are.
Did you see who he had in there with him?
Yeah.
Poor old Charlie.
Bound to happen, though.
Younger, more spirited than he is.
Just like her ma.
I knew when they went through that money he saved up, she was gonna tire awful
fast.
What Thede needs is a good SWAT.
I can't recall ever that a good SWAT ever stopped anything.
And I can recall a lot of SWATs.
Ain't I right, Clem?
Yeah.
Well, speak of the devil.
Don't any of you tell him you saw Thede in the car with Tom Carmody?
Well, howdy.
Howdy, Charlie.
Anything sighting having over the big city?
Yep. What?
Oh, something.
Look at him, grinning like that big old tomcat.
That swallowed Granny Carnation's canary last Easter Sunday morning.
Wasn't grinning when Granny put him in a tow sack and threw him off a bridge.
Can't come back, though, did he, Gramps?
I got something here.
Something you just might want to see.
Yeah? If you got one curious bone in your body.
You ain't got nothing we want to see, Charlie.
Well, now, you don't get a look just for saying that, Milt Marshall.
Come on, Clem. I'll let you see it.
I'm too tired to get up, Charlie.
Ain't too much supper.
I'll bet you never seen nothing like this in your whole life, Gramps.
I seen a lot, Charlie. I'm old.
Can't help but seen a lot if you keep your eyes open time you're as old as me.
Go on, Gramps. Have a look at what Charlie's got.
Ain't nothing that'll get me, is it?
Something in a jar.
Something good to eat?
No. Big or little jaw, Charlie?
Where is it? It's right here beside me. Ain't nothing that'll jump out at me, is
it? No, no.
Then I'll take a look at it, Charlie.
What in the world is that, Charlie?
What is it, Grant?
Come here and see.
No, no, I gotta get home.
What is it?
I've never seen anything like it.
Let me have a look at it, Charlie. If you want to see any more, well, come
around to my house and see it. It'll be there.
Is it an octopus?
Well, what did it look like?
Now, you can't see it, Mel, till you say you're sorry.
I've never seen anything like it. I told you.
Well, come on around.
You're welcome to see it there.
What'll Thede say?
She'll be proud to have you.
Thede!
CeeDee!
CeeDee! Oh, here I am!
Don't holler your head off.
You're all the time hollering.
Where you been?
Down the lake for a swim.
Cool off.
Hey, Charlie, it got up to 110 degrees here today.
Oh, Charlie!
What am I gonna do with a 50-pound bag of flowers? It's gonna weevil up before
I use it.
You're gonna start making hot biscuits every morning again when you see what I
got. Did you get my ribbon? Uh-huh.
I rode on the merry-go-round three times. Beat in the Ferris wheel twice.
Hey, them special ribbons I got for you at the carnival. Look at them under the
light. It's got your name on it.
The lady said it'd bow up.
You'd be able to make a bow so that you could read your name right there in your
hair.
P-D-Y.
Feedy.
F-U-E-Fu.
H-I-L-L-Hill.
She just stitched your name right on there while I was waiting.
Cost 65 cents.
Nickel a letter. But there ain't nobody else around got a ribbon like that.
Hey, I got something else.
Feedy.
Come on, you now.
Come on, here we go.
That's it.
Do
you
like the ribbons, Thede?
Those are sequins on there, she called them. Those sparkly things.
I know what sequins are, Charlie.
I had a dress once.
It was all made up of thick ones.
It was green.
I just glittered all over it when I danced.
What you got there,
Charlie? Oh, uh, something.
Oh, never mind, something good.
What's under there?
I'll show you.
Well,
here, sit where you can see.
No, wait, wait, here, this way.
No, here, here.
Well, where you can see straight on. Well.
All right.
Good night.
What is it?
Well, what do you think it is, Thede?
Where'd you get that thing?
I bought it out of the sideshow at the carnival.
Just look at it, Thede. Look at it.
Look at it good. Did you ever see anything like that?
I stopped four times driving home and struck a match to make sure it was still
in there.
It ain't alive.
I don't think so.
Well, what is it?
Well, what does it look like?
Looks like you, Charlie.
Me?
I don't like it.
Get out of here. It scares me.
How much did you pay for it?
Twelve dollars.
But it was one of the main attractions.
You spent our produce money?
Thede, I thought you'd like it. I don't like it at all.
Thede.
You didn't even kiss me welcome home.
She used to always kiss me welcome home.
I'll work in the bottoms all year long.
Work hard, too.
She don't seem to appreciate it no more.
Makes fun of me.
Everybody makes fun of me.
I know about her and Tom Carmody.
I don't make no trouble.
All I want's a little respect.
But they ain't gonna make fun of me no more, are they?
No, sir.
Folks are gonna have respect for a man that owns something like you.
Charlie?
You gone crazy, Charlie?
It's us, Charlie.
We thought that we'd like to have a look at that thing.
That thing you got in that there jar.
I'm sorry about what I said, Charlie.
Well, come on in, fellas. I was just dusting it off so you can get a real
good look at it.
Evening, Charlie.
Evening, Granny. How you feeling?
I'm here, Rita.
Evening, Sadie.
Evening, Granny. How you feeling?
I'm here, Rita.
Come on in, Tom.
Why don't you stand over here if you don't mind, Charlie.
Can I come in?
Sure, Juke. Come on, sit over here.
When you go on coverage, Charlie.
I ain't never seen it yet.
I hear talk about it these past weeks, but I ain't seen it.
I've been to Baton Rouge to the doctor, Charlie.
He told my ma I had the mind of a ten-year-old.
Hi, Jadu.
I heard about your jar, Charlie.
And I come all the way from here on Swamp to look at it. Well, you're
welcome, Jadu.
Well, uh, I'm happy you could all be here again, and, uh...
I hope you enjoy the evening.
I wonder what tears.
I wonder if it's a he or a she or just a plain old it.
I've been waking up nights all this month thinking about it.
Swimming in there, pale and peaceful.
Sometimes I wake more up, too.
We're both just...
Lay there thinking.
All shiver.
Hot night, too.
Trees sweating.
Mosquitoes too hot to fly.
All shiver just the same.
Can't get back to sleep.
Ain't that right, Ma?
That's right.
He's telling the truth.
It's sure something.
I had a cat once.
Who all the time was having baby kittens.
A litter every time I turned around.
Houses crawling with cats.
So many of those living in the trees around the house.
Paul said that was the end of it.
And when the next litter come, he put down a big two-gallon gratilice jar out
by the steps where that old cat was on the steps.
And he filled it full of water. He said to me, Juki, you drown them cats before
I get back from the bottoms.
I remember I stood there and the kitties come running out from under the steps,
meowing and jumping and just beginning to get their eyes open good.
And I looked up at Ma on the porch and I said, you do it, Ma.
And she said, Pa, give me that job. And she went off to fry up a chicken and
make some poochie gravy.
And I stood there a long time before I finally picked one of them up.
There was eight of them.
The one I picked up was gray and soft and had a big runner of white down his
tummy.
Warm.
And it made a little mewing sound.
Mew, mew, mew.
And I felt like picking them all up and running off in the woods with them,
living wild, never coming back.
I knew I'd get a whooping if I didn't do what Paul told me, so...
I dropped that kitty in the water.
I know to this day the way that kitty floated after he's all over.
Drifting around, slow, not worrying, looking at me,
not blaming me for what I'd done, but sure not lacking me for it none either.
And I couldn't do none of the others.
I gotta whoop it anyway, but I couldn't kill no more.
What color
eyes has it got?
Blue. No, Granny. Green.
What color hair? Red?
Black. Brown.
Oh, Gray.
Charlie, you know more about it than any of us. You see it more. You live right
here with it.
You see it when you're eating.
Charlie, what do you think it is?
Well, say an old man or a kid got lost in the swamp, wandering around for
years and years, lost in all that wet and dripping, away from the sun.
No sun, say.
Skin turning pale.
If I stands to right, he'd start shriveling up and withering away.
Now, finally, maybe sink down into one of them muck holes and
lay there like the maggot skeeters sleeping in all that old sump water.
Why, for all we can tell, this could be somebody we know.
Somebody we used to talk to.
For all we know.
It could.
I lost my little Foley in the swamp that way.
My little boy Foley.
Run away.
Never come back.
You don't suppose.
My baby.
My baby.
My Foley.
Fully?
Fully?
That you're fully?
Ow!
It moved!
No, no, no, no, it didn't move.
Honest, I seen it shift too, slow, like that dead kitty.
I did!
The dead don't move.
He made a sign.
That's my boy.
Mrs. Tritton.
Mrs. Tritton, that's nuts. There's not any more in his mind.
He just comes down.
More than likely, we'll never find out what it is.
And if we do find out, we probably won't want to.
We wouldn't have anything to talk about then.
It ain't nothing.
Probably a bunch of old jellyfish or something.
You wouldn't be jealous, would you, Tom?
I just come over to watch you all make fools of yourself.
You don't see me setting foot in or taking part, do you?
Heck, I'm going home.
Anybody want to go out my way?
I was a saying before Mr. Cardamy had his say.
A thing in that jar.
Now, why couldn't it be sort of all things?
Lots of things.
All kinds of life and death.
I don't know.
Mix rain with sun and grass.
And snakes and children and jelly and mist.
And all the nights and days and dead cane break.
And all that together.
Why does it have to be just one thing?
Maybe it's lots.
Go on, Evanne. Tell them what you told me.
Evanne wants to tell everybody what she thinks is in the jar.
Go on, Ivan.
Tell him what you told me you think is in the jar.
Go on, honey.
It's the...
What are you up to, Thede? Oh, Charlie.
Featherbatch is too hot in the summertime.
I just keep thinking down into it.
Don't you be up to nothing bad, you hear me?
You and Tom Carmel. Oh, go to sleep, Charlie.
You had a busy evening entertaining.
What was that?
I didn't hear anything.
Go back to sleep, Charles.
We have come to the station break, and speaking of breaks, I wish this bottle
would. I've been hearing the disturbing rumor that this is a no-deposit, no
-return bottle, and that I may end up in the trash.
All this will be continued after we hear from our local stations.
Clem. Listen, listen. It's Charlie.
Oh, Charlie.
Somebody stole my jar, and you've got to find it.
I got up to have a drink of water and take a look at it, and it's gone.
You sure that thing didn't just get up and walk away by itself? Now, that's not
funny. Somebody come in and took it. All right, Charlie. And I want him caught,
and I want it back. All right, all right. I'll get on it the first thing
tomorrow morning.
Then I'll find him, and I'll kill him. Oh, Charlie, you know that you wouldn't
kill nobody.
Why don't you just go on home and calm down, and I'll go out for breakfast
tomorrow morning and make out a report on it.
Hey, Charlie.
Who's there?
It's Juke, Charlie. Go home, Juke. What are you doing running around this time
of morning? I made myself a jar, see?
I got a frog, three lightning bugs, a bird's wing, and a dandelion.
I know who's got your jar, Charlie.
Who? I hear them talking.
Thede and Tom Carmody and Jadu.
Tom Carmody gave Jadu a dollar bill to steal your jar and take it away to Heron
Swamp.
Thede said she'd leave the screen door open for him to get in.
They told him to bust it up.
To bust it up? That's what they told him to do.
Hey, you can have my jar, Charlie.
It's not as good as yours, but you can have it.
MY JAR!
Help, Jadu!
Help!
You go under quicker if you struggle, Charlie.
Jadu!
Jadu, help me.
Help, Jadu, fast!
Sometimes it takes as long as three, four hours if you don't struggle to go
all the way under.
Help me!
Or you come calling.
I've been sitting here looking at this old jar, thinking about what I think it
is.
I couldn't get up and testify in front of all them people.
But I know what it is.
This here is a piece of the heart of all life.
Believe me, Charlie, I know.
From this heart, lying somewhere back in Meaty Bamboo Swamp, long, long time
ago.
All sort of things start to crawl.
Help! It's taking me under fast!
From the rich, dark garden, middy bamboo.
Please, Jadu!
This heart come crawling out of the dark.
Please, give me your hand, Jadu, please!
Then it puts out a hand like the roots of a tree.
Jadu, help! Then it puts out feet like the roots of a flower.
then it grow a long tongue and horns and it gets bigger this
heart now something else crawls up on land keeps
changing then hallelujah it is human
help me here Jadu pull me please please Jadu give me your hand please human
this
is the heart and center of all creation.
This is Midi Bamboo Mama from who we all come 10,000 years ago.
Help me, please. Quick, Jadu, help. It's taken me under.
They paid me a dollar, Charlie, to steal and destroy the
center of all creation.
Thank you, Jadu. Help.
What'd you do that for, Thede?
You know how much my jar means to me? How much fun it gives me?
Sweet. What pigpen you been sleeping in, Charlie?
You ought to be proud of me.
Right. Yeah, there ain't nobody else in Wilder's Holler got anything like my
jar. They sure don't.
I'm respected.
Respected.
Folks, look up to me.
Look up to you.
Don't laugh at me, Thede.
Don't, Thede, don't.
Shut up.
How looked up to you gonna be if I was to take this old spoon and break that
jar of yours?
Just you try it.
Give me that. Give me that.
You
was going
to hit me with that spoon.
You'd kill me over that jar.
Just get out, Dee Dee. Get out.
Charlie? What?
Charlie? Bet you don't know where I've been. Bet you don't know where I've
been. Bet you don't know where I've been.
I've been to the carnival.
We moved over past Cape City.
Tom Conley drove me over there today.
And we talked to that Connie boss.
That little bitty man that sold you your wonderful job.
Yes, we did.
We sure did.
And he told us what's in that jar.
I don't want to hear it. Oh, but you've got to.
It's a goodie. It's a goodie. Go away, Thede. Go away.
Uh-uh. No, Charlie, honey.
No. Not till I tell you what's in that jar.
Get, Thede. Get.
Please let me tell you.
We talked to that little corny boss.
That little teeny man.
just like to have a dad laughing.
He said he sold that jar to some hick for $12 and it ain't worth more than two
at the most. No, I don't want to hear it. It's just junk, Charlie.
It's paper and it's clay and it's cotton and it's strings and it's silk and it's
a pair of baby doll's eyes and it's all together on this metal frame and that's
all it is.
No!
Everybody is sure gonna laugh at you when they find out what a fake it is.
You're not gonna tell.
Yes, I am.
Tomorrow night.
But why?
Because, Charlie, you just got too high for loot.
You're just too big for your britches.
Dee Dee, I don't understand. Because you're dumb.
Please don't tell them, Thede. This has been the best time of my life. It's been
good. They won't come over and visit anymore if you tell.
That's right.
I was going to start to serve refreshments and all.
Thede, you didn't go to that carnival.
Yes, I did.
You're lying.
I am not.
But my jar, it's got to have something in it. Just junk.
Besides the junk, you say.
Life and death.
There's too many people believe that there's something in there. Too many
people get pleasure just coming and watching and listening and talking. I
can't let you change that, Thede.
That Carney boss, if you talk to him, then he lied.
No, he didn't. He did not.
He did not.
It's a great big piece of clay and baby dolls!
That's all!
That's all, darling! That's all!
Thede, come here.
What do you want?
Just come here to me.
No. Come here.
I want to show you something.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here kitty kitty kitty Here
kitty kitty kitty
Come on kitty kitty kitty
Cut me such a big piece, Charlie. I only ever eat the heart out of them. Well,
eat what you can, Gramps. Fine idea. You start serving refreshments.
It's about time, ain't it? Come on, everybody. Get your places.
Howdy, Charlie.
Well, hello, Jardu. Come on. Just in time.
Sorry I'm late, Charlie.
Well, I'm real happy to see you all here again, and I hope you enjoy the evening.
I never noticed so definite before.
It's got blue eyes.
All has had blue eyes.
No, it didn't.
It was green, I swear, last time I was here.
Another thing.
It's got brown hair.
Didn't have brown hair before.
Yes, it did.
My foley had brown hair.
Color of mine.
No, it didn't.
What do you think it is, Tom?
You haven't said.
It's your son.
It's your son.
Go on, honey.
You tell him what you told me you think is in the journal.
Go on.
It's the... The baby.
The baby.
The baby.
It's everything and anything.
The night.
The swamp.
Death. The pale things.
The wet things from the sea.
Kitty, you're a kitty.
Kitty, kitty, you're a kitty kitty.
Kitty kitty, you're a kitty.
I don't know.
I just don't know.
This here is a piece of the heart of all life. Human.
This is the heart and center of all creation.
I wonder.
I wonder if it's a he or a she.
Or just a plain old it. I reckon we'll never know.
I reckon we won't.
in the jar a ribbon t-h-e-d-y what does that spell mama dd
s-u-e-h-i-l-a dd sue hill
it's dd
wish to make one thing clear at once.
Any resemblance between the jar and any other type of home entertainment is
purely coincidental. There is just no comparison.
However, we are working every day to lift the level of television.
Someday, who knows?
Getting out of the bottle proved to be easier than I imagined.
However, I had the help of an angry genie who claimed I had invaded his
home. That is all I have to offer this evening. Until next week, then, good
night.
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