Original subtitles

Fucking believe you allow that to

happen. You're lucky I don't fire you

who told

you to come into my office

I'm sorry. It's nothing personal. I

don't even know who you are. Who are

you?

I've been a volunteer here for two

months

Really?

Yeah.

Well,

I apologize. Okay. I'm just having a

really bad day

Yeah,

I saw the internet club great.

It's not even 15 minutes old the whole

world knows

Fucking internet

Kaufman post is fast

You know this fucking internet can be

the death of my campaign Yeah,

but I mean it's pretty obvious. It was

a total sabotage from your campaign. Oh

really you think?

But you knew they're super liberal

Yeah, of course

Honestly,

I mean it just reflects on the reporter.

They were out for blood. I Think if you

just stand your ground on this one,

you'll be okay. You

think?

What

makes you the expert?

What are you?

A college student?

I'm a grad actually,

but I'm not expert. I'm just saying

What

's your name?

Joseph Jones

College grad,

huh?

Yeah,

actually I'm working on my political

science master's thesis

Evolutionary facets of local political

platforms

during a waning world

economy

Yeah, you know words like that

Evolutionary,

okay doesn't really sit well with my

constituents

Not about the theory of evolution. It's

just a

political economic thesis Yeah,

I don't care if we come from flies or

from monkeys But the voters do and

that's what counts It's just sad

that you have to give it to them It's

called getting votes,

okay?

I'm kissing babies. I'm shaking hands.

I'm using catchy phrases If I sound

like I'm speaking down to them Ergo,

no votes No votes

Ah yes The dumbing of the masses The

more stupid the population,

easier to manipulate them Mm-hmm It's

not as easy to manipulate the

population Especially with the fucking

internet Okay,

what uh, what are these?

Oh,

these are just the poll reports from

the 3rd and 15th district You know,

the swing district And um,

some local radio reports

I honestly think it'll help with the,

you know,

blog fiasco Um

I don't have

time for this,

okay?

I'm sorry Do

you want me to just leave them on your

desk?

Yeah

Okay

Actually,

no

Um, would

you mind coming by the hotel suite

later on this afternoon?

Maybe, um,

I can

discuss,

you know,

a bigger role for you in the campaign

Oh,

yeah Obviously we need to be,

you know,

tuned in to social media and blogging

and that stuff And you seem to be up on

it, so Yeah,

definitely Uh,

that, that sounds great actually Uh,

so I'll see you in a few hours Just 4:

30 work?I

think it's 6:00,

I'll be in meetings Okay I'll see you

then Great,

thank you I'm

gonna eventually run for political

office, right?

Hell no I

'm gonna be able to handle the campaign

process I just,

I don't know,

I just don't think I have what it takes

to win What,

you can't lower yourself?

It's not

even like that I just think I would be

better off,

you know,

behind the scenes more as a strategist

That is bullshit,

okay?

You love the attention and you know it

I'm

not!

You do too I don't I just,

I don't like the scrutiny,

you know I wouldn't want people digging

into my past and my life

But like you have some deep dark

secrets in your past?

No

Maybe I

do, maybe I don't Just,

you know,

things that other people might

misinterpret

You do, don't you?

What is it?

No What is it?

Tell me Listen,

I'm sure my campaign did a very

thorough background check on you I'm

sure

they did Did you lie on your

application?

Oh my god,

you're a

blogger You're one of these liberal

fucking blogger reporters No Who spout

out this leftist crap This shit out of

your crap hole?

No No

Okay, okay,

everything on there is true I have a

master candidate,

like I said

Just not the name of the university

It's

true Alright,

well listen,

the names wouldn't match up,

so Do you

honestly think I didn't think about

this?

You got this figured out too?

I have a girlfriend out there,

he's turning them into information You

know, I don

't even know what to think of you I

really don't Look,

no, it's not even Look,

I

had a reason for it I did

this report on the

social economic hierarchy of a strip

club And kind of

went undercover

As

a stripper?

Yeah, but okay,

it was purely research Okay,

let me get this straight You took your

clothes off with complete

strangers?

Yeah

Nothing

wrong with that I'm not gonna judge you

Look, it wasn't just that though I

mean, we kind of got busted By the

cops?

Yeah For

stripping Uh,

prost

itution No,

no, no, no,

no, no,

no It's not like that I didn't do

anything Oh,

no, no, no,

no Everybody,

listen, everybody in jail is innocent,

okay?

No, honestly Okay Do I look Wait,

don't answer that,

never mind Okay,

look I didn't do anything Some pissed

off, angry customer Started

saying things about me that weren't

true And it was complicated It was,

you know,

his word against mine And,

you know I I got the DA's office to

drop all the charges It was just End

ed up being a misdemeanor And,

I don't know,

something like Publicly disorderly

conduct I don't know I don't know

And you still want to go into

politics Economics Economics

Right, economics You know,

you

are by far The most

interesting intern

that I've ever Volunteer Volunteer That

I've ever spoken to You

know I have to

admit You

're a lot smarter than I originally gave

you credit for Okay Oh,

and the hits just keep on coming Thank

you Thank you Thank you very much Thank

you Do you want to know why I chose to

help you with your campaign?

Well, because

I stand for the working man I want

to return this

great country

to what it was before And I want to,

you know,

kickstart the fucking economy Because

people need jobs No

No No None of your meaningless

catchphrases No You

have a kind face Kind of

this, like,

fatherly figure about you

Really?

I've never I've never heard this before

Wow

Okay

It's okay I

like the older,

strong-willed man That doesn't back

down Even in the face of being proven

totally wrong Um

Sounds

like a compliment Smells like a

compliment I'm not sure if that's a

compliment Is it?

I'm actually very

attracted to you Both

physically and intellectually

I just

thought I'd let you know

Jess, I just want you to know that I

I didn't invite you back here to

Try to, you know,

seduce you I know I came

because I did

Actually,

probably a very bad idea

I know it's not purely research,

but

Such beautiful feet You

have to take care of these if you're

going to work on the campaign What

massage is

there in it?

Yes, deeper

Mm-hmm

Work time

Yes

Oh my

god

It's

so fucking good

Oh

Fuck Good

How

do

I get

this campaign job?

There's no sponsor Good

to know