Original subtitles

V I P

4k

Daddy, we came for your wisdom.

Okay. What can I do for you?

I had a good opportunity for a job,

but I had a little issues. Okay. A huge

one, actually. A huge one. So,

I guess you need a brain to have this

job?

Actually,

no. Just I

needed learning French.

Oh, really?

And what's the problem with learning?

Are you sick about it?

No. Just I needed some phrases for

impress. That's why we came to see you,

Daddy. You're a man of culture,

a linguistic genius. Well,

Fat

oui will bring you nowhere. Cash,

however. Don't do it.

No, no. Just like the

time is illusion,

you know?

Time is illusion?

Yeah. Okay. You want to know how to say

this in French?

Yes. Yes.

Okay. Le temps est une illusion.

Long time,

it is illusion.

Terrible.

Let's go slowly. We need to go one by

one with you. For sure. Le

temps

est

une illusion.

Illusion. I look great. Can't you just

focus on it?

You

repeat

everything

he

says,

but you don't really focus on it and

then you say complete nonsense. Just

focus on those words. Try again,

okay?

Okay. Okay?

Okay?

Okay. Okay. Okay,

one more time. Okay. More easy,

please. Something more easy?

Yes. Okay. I think it's better to start

with it more easy. So,

let's say,"

je" "

je""

Je m'appelle... Lucie." "Je

m'appelle Lucie." "

What's so hard about it?

Je m'appelle Lucie." "No,

you did not." "I don

't know. I heard it." "

OK. One more time." "Je...

j'ai... m'appelle... m'appelle...

m'appelle..." "M'appelle... m'appelle..." "

Lucie." "

Je m'appelle Lucie." "Je m'appelle Lucie."

You know what?

I have enough of this. You're terrible.

Dad,

I'm sorry about you on your own. Lucy,

good luck.

Dad,

good luck. I'm going to watch the TV

and come back whenever the show ends.

Bye.

Okay, so

let's use

another strategy,

okay?

Yeah,

we're

going to use easier

words and

useful ones for

apply for

it. Okay?

Okay. Okay,

so you

can say bonjour.

Bonjour. Je pense.

Je pense. Que

je suis. Que je suis. Le meilleur. Le

meilleur. Choix. Choix. Pour votre

comp

agnie. Pour votre compagnie. Okay,

say it all now. Bonjour,

je pense. Que je pense. Que je pense.

Okay,

let's do shorter. This is too long for

you. Obliviously. Je

suis.

Je suis.

Une. Une. Une. Excellente. Excellent.

Secrétaire. Secrétaire. Okay. Do it all

again. Je suis une sexcellente,

yes. Une sexcellente. Ah,

je suis une sexcellente. Sexellence.

Amazing. It's good. No,

I am one excellent. Un excellent!

Not one super excellent. Ok.

Ah!

Ok.

Again.

I am... Just... ... ... ... Un

excellent. Secret. Secret. Alright. Yes,

she said "Enselensteckter". Oh my God!

It's funny!

Ok.

Wait a minute. I have a good...

Excellent idea. You see

this?

This,

I was using it when I was teaching

French to real students. Ok. You know?

And it became the best seller

ever

for learning French. It's

funny. Look,

look, look. Look,

it's me here. You see?

Oh, it's you. Ok. So,

I'm gonna have to take another tea to

relax a little bit. You know?

Uh...

Use this.

And when I finish my tea,

I come back to check how the

progress you will have done. Ok?

Ok, but where is the screen?

Ok,

there's no screen. It's a VHS tape.

It's a VHS tape. You know,

uh... Before you bomb,

we had only this. Ok.

We didn't have a smartphone or tablet

or

something like this. No?

You open it. It's a tape inside. It's

really good. Sure?

Yeah, yeah,

yeah. You see?

There's a VHS player over there. You

just put it inside. Ok. Switch on the

TV. And press the play button. Ok?

Ok. Ok. I'll be back. Oh my god.

So?

This is you.

No, no, no,

no. Um... You know what?

You never saw nothing. Ok?

It's not me. This is porn. This

is not porn. Come on. It's not French.

The

movie is French. Yeah,

yeah, exactly. Yeah,

we speak French. But you know,

it's...

It's me and my first wife. No,

no,

no. We just... But maybe I wanna learn

this one. Crazy?

You can show me. Ah,

come on. Yeah,

it's better. No,

no,

no, no, no. I cannot

do that. Why not?

I think it's more... ...form. Mm-hmm.

No, no,

no. Come on. I cannot do that. Sorry,

sorry,

sorry. Please,

please. I want to learn this French.

You want to learn this French?

Yes. No, no,

sorry.

Yeah,

yeah. But this French I won't learn.

Hey, Dad. Is everything okay?

Oh, yes,

son. Everything's alright. I'm just

teaching... ... ...

No, no, really,

yeah. It's really a bad idea. I'm sorry.

I cannot do that.

Come on. Just look at me. No,

no, no, no. I cannot do that. No. No,

no. Sorry.

Yes.

Look at me. Look

at this.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

French big dick. Oh,

gross bit. Oh. Oh,

I repeat. Gross bit. Oh. Oh. Oh,

yeah. Oh,

yeah.

She's my best. Oh,

yeah. Oh,

yeah. Oh,

yeah. Oh. Oh.

Oh

Bonjour

Oh

This

This one is

more spicy You know That would be

probably cause cool Oh Oh

Turn off

Bonjour She's

really improving a lot,

she's much better

Wow

That's impressive

Oh

Oh

Yes

Mmm Mmm

Oh Wow

And

now You judge me with the licking in

French, okay?

Come on

So You need to repeat after me Okay

Lesch ma chat Lesch ma chat Oh yes

Please Oh Oh

Oh yes Mmm Oh Mmm Mmm Mmm

Mmm

Mmm Oh

Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Yes Oui,

oui This is really funny.

*sad

noises* *sad noises* *sad noises

* *sad noises

* *sad

noises* *s

ad noises

* You're

a student. Well,

she had

to take a break,

you know that.

How is she?

How is the lesson?

Well, well,

she's doing really great now. Yeah,

it's going to be better. Prove it. Well,

I'm really glad to hear it. Well,

now I'm going to my room,

alright?

Okay, yes,

that's a very good idea. Okay,

I wanna see ya. Yes,

you. I

want my beat like I'm so sorry. *sad

noises* *sad

noises* *sad noises* I want the machine.

*sad

noises* That's

okay for the first lesson. *

sad noises* *sad noises

* *sad noises

* Fuck me!

That's old!