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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003 Previously on This Is Us... 2 00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:04,505 TOBY: Uh, he's here. 3 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,640 It's a boy. 4 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,842 He's really, really small. 5 00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:11,479 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Damon. 6 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,881 (cheering, applause, whistling) 7 00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:15,549 I'm pregnant. 8 00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,885 (laughs): Lucy, oh, my God. 9 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,354 I'm not gonna do that trial, Randall. 10 00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:23,557 Well, Mom, whatever you want to do, that's what we'll do. 11 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,829 RANDALL (over phone): I'm gonna ask you for something now. 12 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,532 Mom, you have to do this clinical trial. 13 00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,204 * 14 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,739 Okay. (shudders) 15 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,644 Anything? 16 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,247 Nothing. 17 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:51,085 They'll want to induce soon. 18 00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,421 You're only a few days late. 19 00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:57,591 What can I do? 20 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:01,429 I'm good, baby. 21 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:06,734 This one, however, has another request. 22 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,169 (both chuckle softly) 23 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,275 (sighs) Anything in particular? 24 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:15,809 Hmm... 25 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,480 Everyone always wants to hear the hits. 26 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,949 -Mm-hmm. -(strums chord) 27 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,985 * Can one wrong turn * 28 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,356 * Give me new direction? * 29 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,092 * Can one false move * 30 00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:35,763 * Bring me one true friend? * 31 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,934 * Could a stranger ever end up * 32 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,903 -* Being you? * -Whoa. 33 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,104 (neighing) 34 00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,474 -Whoa... -* We took it back * 35 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:47,908 Whoa, son. 36 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,910 * In all directions... * 37 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,279 Whoa! Whoa! 38 00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:53,814 How much you pay for that thing? 39 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,249 He was free. 40 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,518 Paid too much, you ask me. 41 00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:58,652 (neighing) 42 00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,654 * Is there a message * 43 00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:04,425 * A pathway, something more? * 44 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,694 ...incredible distribution of light. 45 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:09,029 But I'll give you a moment to think about it. 46 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:12,032 * Oh, in the quiet way * 47 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,034 * You caught my eye * 48 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,936 * Oh * 49 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,372 * I got enough... * 50 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:20,374 Why, hello, Hailey. 51 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,176 I was just wondering if you've given 52 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:25,179 any thought to the question I posed to you yesterday. 53 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,550 Zach, you're a really great guy. 54 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,785 I mean, you're probably my... best friend. 55 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,355 Can you get the pencils out of your nose, please? 56 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,056 But I think... 57 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,292 that us going on a date right now 58 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,461 would be a really bad idea. 59 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,796 You're hung up on that guy, aren't you? 60 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,533 Your famous big shot one-night stand? 61 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:49,203 At least tell me who it is. Is it a movie star? 62 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,205 Not someone too old for you. 63 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,373 Oh, my God. 64 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,041 -Is it Leo? -Zach... 65 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:57,044 Welcome to the Kohn Gallery. 66 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,213 (whispers): It's a movie star. 67 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,914 LUCY: Jack? 68 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,485 That song is so good. 69 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,019 Aw, thanks, boo. 70 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,921 That's sweet of you to say after all this time. 71 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,923 Like, it's so good, I think you just made me 72 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,792 start having contractions. 73 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,831 (Lucy sighing, groaning) 74 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,233 (dog whines) 75 00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:22,770 -(dog whines, barks) -Jack? 76 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,438 Yep, I'm coming. 77 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,574 -(barking) -(Jack exhales) 78 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,776 (Jack and Lucy whispering indistinctly) 79 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,244 (Lucy exhales) 80 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:32,880 REBECCA: Suit's on? 81 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,282 (sighs): Yes, ma'am. 82 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,916 Your birthday suit. 83 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,719 -Only one I've got. -All right. 84 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:47,628 That is an incredibly bulky bathrobe. 85 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,298 If you think that I'm gonna stand in front of you naked 86 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,899 in the daylight 87 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,901 a year after giving birth to multiple children... 88 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,636 Them is the rules. 89 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:58,439 Well, the rules have changed. Have a cupcake. 90 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,574 Yeah, but I don't want a cupcake. 91 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:03,210 I want... (muttering) 92 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,746 -(laughing) -(babies crying) 93 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,481 -Oh, God. -(sighs) 94 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:10,484 Well, maybe next year, slugger, 'cause it's their birthday, too, 95 00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:13,654 and... they can't really be ignored. Sorry. 96 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,790 All right, one-year-olds, Mommy's comin'. 97 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,759 (babies continue crying) 98 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,561 * 99 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:24,798 Okay, Bug, so now that the cake has set, 100 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,467 we are gonna lay in the second layer 101 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,768 -of frosting. -All right. 102 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:31,104 We really need a full-on three-layer birthday cake 103 00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,340 for this guy, huh? 104 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:34,675 I'm pretty sure Jack would be happy 105 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,944 mainlining sugar right off the counter. 106 00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,146 -Yeah, it's tradition, Toby. -KATE: Yeah. 107 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:42,182 Okay? It's the Big Three. There's three layers. 108 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,651 REBECCA: Uh-huh. 109 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,819 TOBY: Well, Jacky Boy, it looks like it's three times 110 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,421 the sugar rush for you. 111 00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:50,758 -Oh, that looks amazing, hon. -Da-da-da, no. 112 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:51,792 Jack, it's Mommy. Hi. 113 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,327 MIGUEL: Hey, when do, uh, 114 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,462 Randall and the girls get in? 115 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,296 I don't know. 116 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,131 KATE: Um, later today. 117 00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:00,601 But we probably won't see them till the party tomorrow, so... 118 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,536 And remember, we're doing cake and presents early tomorrow, 119 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,038 'cause, uh, in the afternoon... I'm not gonna say what it is. 120 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:08,208 -Right. -But it's a... kind of a special... 121 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,210 Well, it's a secret thing just for the three of us. 122 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,712 -Yeah. -(Rebecca laughs) 123 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,280 REBECCA: I thought that you were intermittent fasting. 124 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,548 What happened to that? 125 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:15,816 MIGUEL: Well, Miguel needs frosting. 126 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,485 Oh, they don't care about our secret thing. 127 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,219 No, they most certainly do not. 128 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,321 -Okay. -But Jack does. 129 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,490 Don't you? 130 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,624 It's exciting! 131 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,992 (Jack laughs) 132 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,731 * 133 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,346 NICKY: What? 134 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,649 Or, "Hey, nephew. Good morning. 135 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,217 Glad to hear from you." 136 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,486 What? 137 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,824 Look, I was just calling to say that I got your gift for Jack. 138 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,759 Well, least I could do. You did, after all, 139 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:01,328 get me a luxury mobile home. 140 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,063 I mean, I got him a... 141 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,566 I got him those dopey white sneakers you always wear, 142 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,668 you know, with the green backs on them. 143 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,437 Only, you know, in baby size. 144 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,572 Yeah, the Stan Smiths. Very thoughtful. 145 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,073 Which, by the way, you can just return 146 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,408 and get something better, if you want. 147 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:15,909 I mean, it's no skin off my ass. 148 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,878 Nicky, they are perfect. 149 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,681 Yeah, I thought they were kind of cute, too. 150 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,182 You know, for... 151 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,084 -a baby, not a grown man. -Okay. 152 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,086 Oh, you know, there are billboards of you 153 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,121 all over town. 154 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:31,091 I think it's an ad for your nipple? 155 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,427 Uh, it's a cologne ad, okay? And people love it. 156 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,796 Hmm. Well, it always makes me laugh. 157 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,098 I think 'cause I know you. 158 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,802 All right, listen, I got to get into this meeting. 159 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,872 But, hey, tomorrow is my, uh, one-year sober. 160 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,307 My one-year is also Jack's birthday. 161 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,143 Oh? 162 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,513 Thought you might want to congratulate me. 163 00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,049 I'll congratulate you tomorrow. 164 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:59,119 Okay. Well, I do miss your gentle touch. 165 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,088 Have a good meeting. 166 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,590 Thank you. 167 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,563 Gonna miss you so much. 168 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:13,200 I think you're just scared to take your first plane flight. 169 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:17,137 -Also that, yeah. -(both laugh) 170 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,412 Impressionable children coming through. 171 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,948 Keep it clean, people. 172 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,285 (Randall chuckles) 173 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,688 Hey, Beth! Come on, let's go! 174 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,857 Okay! 175 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,793 Sorry, sorry. You know black don't pack. 176 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:40,994 Is that a thing? 177 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:42,930 I don't know, I just came up with it. 178 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,197 -(Randall chuckles) -Are the doors locked? 179 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,699 -Gonna set the alarm. -Yep. 180 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,536 Got Mom some travel books about Saint Louis. 181 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,871 She's gonna be there for nine months. 182 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,941 -She can get her barbecue on. -Mm-hmm. 183 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,509 What'd you say? 184 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,612 I said, "Mm-hmm." 185 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,213 (chuckles): It's... it's a noise. 186 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,650 Yeah, it's a noise that you make any time I bring up my mom 187 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,351 going to Saint Louis. 188 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,486 -Set the alarm. -(buttons beeping) 189 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,988 All right, we got 30 seconds 190 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,456 before this place self-destructs. 191 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,358 -Let's hit it! -Hey, Beth, do you not think 192 00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,527 the clinical trial is a good idea? 193 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,464 I think that your mom made her decision. 194 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:21,702 I think the tactics you used to get her to change her mind 195 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,037 are... "mmm." 196 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:26,473 I mean, did she even tell your brother 197 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,175 that she changed her mind? 198 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,845 Because that's... that's gonna be something. 199 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,714 I think she's planning on telling all of us 200 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,215 once we get out there. 201 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,317 (beeping) 202 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,719 Don't say, "Mmm." 203 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,521 Look, I just hope you know what you're doing. 204 00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,523 -But you usually do, so... -Mm. 205 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,158 -(beeping continues) -All right? 206 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,060 -Let's go! -(groans): Ah... 207 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:50,530 Just 'cause you're cute. That's all it is. 208 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:51,965 AUTOMATED VOICE: Alarm set. 209 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,239 -"Abigail" for a girl? -Hmm. 210 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,541 They call her Abby, rhymes with "scabby," 211 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,944 and she has a terrible life. 212 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,879 We should have just learned the sex. 213 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:08,215 It would have eliminated half the awful options. 214 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,851 -No, it'll come. -(long exhale) 215 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,286 We both wanted it to be a surprise, remember? 216 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,155 You're right. 217 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,627 Jack. 218 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,995 We're having a baby today. 219 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,700 We're having a baby today. 220 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,870 WOMAN: Okay, how we doing? 221 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,072 You ready to get this little girl out into the world? 222 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,443 * 223 00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:39,379 (chuckling): Yeah. 224 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,549 -* They say that these are not the best of times * -(indistinct, excited chatter) 225 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:47,788 * But they're the only times I've ever known * 226 00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,458 * And I believe there is a time * 227 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:52,893 * For meditation * 228 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,763 * In cathedrals of our own * 229 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,568 * Now, I have seen that sad surrender * 230 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,738 * In my lover's eyes * 231 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,007 * And I can only stand apart * 232 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,010 * And sympathize * 233 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:13,413 * For we are always what our situations hand us * 234 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,748 * It's either sadness * 235 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:17,184 * Or euphoria * 236 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,824 * 237 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,100 * So we'll argue and we'll compromise * 238 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,434 * And realize * 239 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:39,506 * That nothing's ever changed * 240 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,543 * For all our mutual experience * 241 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:47,080 * Our separate conclusions are the same * 242 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:55,522 * Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity * 243 00:10:55,555 --> 00:11:01,194 * A reason coexists with our insanity * 244 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:05,398 * Though we choose between reality and madness * 245 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,836 -* It's either sadness or euphoria * -(chatter, babies crying) 246 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,138 JACK: Oh, hey, bud. 247 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,473 Hey, it's okay. 248 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,575 Check out this cake that Mom made, huh? 249 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:17,911 You okay? 250 00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:20,047 -(crying continues) -I'm fine. 251 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,822 Go. And he is... 252 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,023 -He's in. Look at him. -(gasps) 253 00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,658 -Look at your shoes. -That's quite handsome. 254 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,094 All right, go show 'em off. Go show off your kicks. 255 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,900 -(exhales) -(Beth chuckles softly) 256 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,269 Excuse me, ma'am, but your husband here 257 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,437 has been "oogling" me all day. 258 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,007 Is it "oogling" or "ogling," by the way? 259 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,508 -Ogling. -You sure? 260 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,509 -No. -Huh. 261 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,745 All right. 262 00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,947 Okay, that's my cue. 263 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:56,183 I'm gonna go house some cake. 264 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,284 All right. 265 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,188 (inhales deeply) 266 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,555 (exhales) 267 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,861 We haven't really got a chance to talk since New York. 268 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,396 So... 269 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,298 (sighs) 270 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,768 Randall, I know that you just wanted what's best for Mom. 271 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,536 And I also know that you wouldn't have asked her 272 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,205 to do that trial if you hadn't done 273 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,606 an insane amount of research. 274 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,474 I mean, like, Claire Danes in Homeland 275 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:22,810 insane research. 276 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,644 I get that, but... 277 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,880 I want you to know where I'm coming from. 278 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,481 You know? I just... 279 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,651 Mom is in a really good place right now. 280 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:34,054 She's here with her family. 281 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,056 It's what she wants. 282 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,092 It's what's best for her. 283 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,595 (pats leg) 284 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,465 Congrats, by the way. 285 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:46,967 What? 286 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,169 One year. 287 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,141 Thank you. 288 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,676 TOBY: Does Baby Jack have an adorable outfit change, 289 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:57,677 -you ask? -(laughs) 290 00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,246 -Uh, do skunks smell? -(chuckling) 291 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,247 Hmm? (kissing) 292 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,850 Ladies, shall we? 293 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:03,951 (chuckling) 294 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,352 KATE: Thanks, girls. 295 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:10,523 Um... (clears throat) 296 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:13,126 Guys, so I have, um... 297 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,462 I have a little bit of an announcement. 298 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,131 Uh... 299 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,332 Oh, damn. 300 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:22,635 I think I left my thing in the... That's odd. 301 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:26,840 Um... 302 00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,442 I know in New York I told you boys 303 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:33,446 that I was looking forward to enjoying 304 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,283 however much time I have left. 305 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,619 But Miguel and I have been doing the research, 306 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,121 and... 307 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,723 I have decided to do 308 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,926 the clinical trial. 309 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,631 So, three weeks from now, 310 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,868 Miguel and I are moving to Saint Louis. 311 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:57,004 For how long? 312 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,671 It's nine months. 313 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:02,709 But-but then we're gonna be back here with all of you. 314 00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,978 RANDALL: We will come visit you as much as we can, Mom. 315 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,546 -Yeah? -Whatever it takes. 316 00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,048 -Right, guys? -Thank you. 317 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,383 -Thank you, sweetheart. -Yeah. 318 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,784 Appreciate that. 319 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,657 This is what you want? 320 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,492 Mm-hmm. Yep. 321 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,929 It is. 322 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,000 Well, then yeah. 323 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,535 You know? Yeah, of course. Whatever you want. 324 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,671 REBECCA: Thanks for understanding. 325 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,074 Of course. 326 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,809 Ooh. (exhales) 327 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,251 Whoa! Whoa. Whoa, whoa. 328 00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:49,189 Didn't know 7:00 a.m. was amateur hour. 329 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,457 (chuckles) 330 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,459 Cute. 'Cause I have a faint memory 331 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,528 of teaching you everything you know. 332 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,529 Morning, baby. 333 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,198 Morning, Dad. 334 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,434 This new bay may be a lemon. 335 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:04,771 -(horse jerks) -Whoa. 336 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,406 -(sputters) -Whoa, whoa, whoa. -Whoa. 337 00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,075 Sadie. Sadie. 338 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,242 SADIE: It's okay. 339 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,378 Hi. You're okay. 340 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,047 It's okay. Hey. It's okay. 341 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,448 Hey. 342 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,916 Let me take him. 343 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,421 Come on. 344 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,658 (chuckles softly) 345 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:29,997 I love the way he uses color to challenge the eye. 346 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,665 You see? The juxtaposition of opposing colors. 347 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:35,102 It's just... it's so compelling. 348 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,703 (watch buzzes) 349 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,041 -If you'll excuse me. -Yeah. 350 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,011 (exhaling) 351 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,513 -Hey, will you cover for me? -Yeah, of course. 352 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,116 -Okay. -Wait, where are you going? 353 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,850 Is it him? 354 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:53,053 It's him, isn't it? 355 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,523 I just don't get it. 356 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,691 I mean, Mom was so sure last week. 357 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,127 I know. 358 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,362 We had this whole talk when she came back from New York, 359 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:05,265 and she said she was excited to spend time with Jack, 360 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,333 to travel. 361 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,534 She said "carpe diem," like, 362 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,369 -12 times. It was like... -Mm. 363 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,538 She didn't say anything to you, Randall? 364 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:14,207 No, she probably just sees the clinical trial 365 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:16,676 as an investment in her future. 366 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,278 Oh... 367 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,646 -(snorts) -A what? 368 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,148 -An investment in her future? -Yeah. 369 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,116 -Yeah. -(clears throat) -Question for you. 370 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:26,053 -Yeah. -Do you get progressively weirder as you get older? 371 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,654 -Is that what happened? -Of course. Yes, that's what's happening. 372 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,122 -He gets weirder as he gets older. -Okay. So then when does it end? 373 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:31,024 -Course that's what's going on. -Is it like you're gonna wake up 374 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,525 one day and, like, you're Steve Buscemi? 375 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:33,893 -(laughs) -He's... That's... Steve Buscemi is, like... 376 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,728 -That's his baseline. -(laughs) -Okay. 377 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,530 -When-when it comes to Randall. -His baseline. -Coming from you two pillars 378 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,332 -of normalcy over here. -KEVIN: What are you talking about? We're normal. 379 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:42,069 -RANDALL: You guys are freaks. -(Kate laughs) -You hear that, Jack? 380 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:46,406 That's the sound of the Big Three just teasing and laughing. 381 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,376 It's pretty much the most beautiful sound in all the land. 382 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,178 (speaking indistinctly) 383 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,345 Hey, Kate. 384 00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:53,546 Hi. Sorry. Kate. 385 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,382 -Kate. Hi. -Yes? Hi. 386 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,017 Is it time to go see that guy about that thing? 387 00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:01,654 Yes, it is time to see that guy about our... 388 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,890 secret, special thing. 389 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,692 -Cool. -Okay. 390 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,860 It's a special, secret thing just for the three of us, 391 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,229 -so... -Yeah. 392 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,430 Have fun with it. 393 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,100 (exhales) Enjoy it. 394 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,534 Nobody cares about our secret, special thing. 395 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,103 I know, babe. 396 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:22,041 I wonder what happened to change Mom's mind. 397 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:25,078 Hmm. 398 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,287 Kids are all down. 399 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,123 Took a while, 400 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:40,026 with all that sugar coursing through their veins. 401 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,762 Thank you, babe. 402 00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,431 I'm sorry. 403 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:47,367 It's okay. 404 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,404 I've just been thinking a lot about their first year, Jack. 405 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:55,908 Kate's first tooth and... 406 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,945 Randall's first words. 407 00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:03,183 Kevin's first steps. 408 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:11,090 But then I've been thinking a lot about what his firsts 409 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,526 would have been, too. 410 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,297 Kyle. 411 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,567 (sniffles) 412 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,671 We never even say his name. 413 00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,107 It's like I can't... 414 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,444 allow my brain to go there. 415 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,113 I mean, I can't even bear to watch the home movies of me 416 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,983 -when I was pregnant, because that's the only image I have... -Yeah. No, I know. 417 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,985 I think about him, too. 418 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,420 -Yeah? -Yeah. 419 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,954 A lot. 420 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,924 I just... 421 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,594 I didn't know if there was something 422 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,162 we were supposed to do. 423 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:50,597 Yeah. 424 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:55,001 I just knew that... 425 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,804 thinking about him made me feel sad, 426 00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,972 and... 427 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:03,676 I-I didn't know what to do with that. 428 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,113 Me, too. (exhales) 429 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,016 (sniffles) 430 00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:12,419 (sighs) 431 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:23,062 Hey, you up... for a ride? 432 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:27,066 Yeah? 433 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:28,601 (knocking) 434 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,074 (chuckles): Well, isn't this a surprise? 435 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,244 -Come on in. -(Rebecca laughs) -Yeah, well, 436 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,880 it's their birthday, and, uh, they wanted to see you. 437 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,383 They couldn't shut up about it, honestly. 438 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,184 Well, I do leave an impression. 439 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,886 -(chuckles) -Gracious, they're getting big. -Yeah. 440 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,421 -You want out of here. -(Rebecca laughs) 441 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:49,822 -She does. -JACK: Mm-hmm. -Come here. 442 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,759 I remember you, Kate. I've known you all your life. 443 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,568 (groaning, breathing deeply) 444 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,704 * 445 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,576 Okay, Jack. 446 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,413 Wow, do you remember this place? 447 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,382 Huh? 448 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,018 This is where you... 449 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:22,255 It's where you started. It's where it all started. 450 00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:23,256 Yeah. 451 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,024 Ready? 452 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,359 -Yeah. -Okay. 453 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,027 -Okay. -(Toby makes whooshing sound) 454 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,530 -Here we go. -You made it, buddy. 455 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,698 -The Wall of Fame. -(exhales) 456 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,933 -"Yay!" -(chuckles) 457 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,768 Here we go. 458 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,938 (chuckles) 459 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,607 Ready? 460 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,208 Okay. 461 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,277 That's the picture. 462 00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:46,379 Yeah. 463 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,415 (chuckles): Yeah. Yeah. 464 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:53,553 It's really strange, being back. 465 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,954 TOBY: Yeah. 466 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,957 Hey, do you remember 467 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,293 right after you woke up? 468 00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:01,894 It was just... 469 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:05,598 It was just me and you right after the C-section. 470 00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:07,867 Foggy. Not really. 471 00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:12,839 (monitor beeping steadily) 472 00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:15,775 Hi. 473 00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:21,448 It's a boy. 474 00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,015 How big? 475 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,452 He's... small, 476 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,354 but he has really good color and... 477 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:30,122 How big? 478 00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:32,525 Two and a half. 479 00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:37,096 -Two... -He's small, Kate, 480 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,366 and he's... and he's not breathing on his own yet. 481 00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:41,468 But he is here. 482 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,302 Okay? 483 00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:45,838 And I'm here. 484 00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:49,542 And we're gonna get through this together. 485 00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:51,544 All right? The three of us. 486 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:57,283 I haven't been the best version of myself this year, Kate. 487 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,118 And I'm sorry. 488 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,320 But I am still here. 489 00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:05,425 The three of us... are here. 490 00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:08,995 (whispering): Yes, we are. 491 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,836 But I don't know, you know? 492 00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:20,440 Your whole life has been defined by family. 493 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,543 And I love that. 494 00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:25,412 I-I love watching you all together. 495 00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:27,847 -(chuckles softly) -And today, I was watching 496 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,248 Randall and his daughters, 497 00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:30,917 I was watching you with your brothers, 498 00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:33,853 I was watching all of you, and I was thinking, 499 00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:35,888 "Doesn't Jack deserve that?" 500 00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:42,429 Doesn't he deserve someone to spend his childhood with? 501 00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:46,132 To lean on long after you and I are gone? 502 00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:50,870 Toby, what are you saying? 503 00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:53,105 I'm saying, don't you think 504 00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:55,542 -our amazing little man... -(Jack babbles) 505 00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:58,077 ...deserves a sibling? 506 00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:11,090 KATE: Toby, I... 507 00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:13,693 I can't get pregnant again. 508 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:17,430 I mean, not with all the complications and... 509 00:23:17,464 --> 00:23:19,098 -I know. -...the risks. 510 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,733 No. I know. I know. 511 00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:22,635 (distant baby crying) 512 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:26,773 But the Pearsons have a pretty good track record with adoption, 513 00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:28,741 don't they? 514 00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:32,411 What? 515 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:41,788 DR. K.: So, you're having trouble 516 00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:44,290 thinking about the child that you lost, 517 00:23:44,323 --> 00:23:48,795 and you thought that the old man might have some words of wisdom. 518 00:23:48,828 --> 00:23:52,465 Yeah, that's, uh... that's it in a nutshell. (chuckles) 519 00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:54,501 Hmm. 520 00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:58,505 I did the thing about the lemons already, right? 521 00:23:58,538 --> 00:24:00,940 -You did. You did. Uh... -(babbles) 522 00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:03,175 -A year ago today. -Hmm. Damn. 523 00:24:03,209 --> 00:24:04,577 'Cause that was a good one. 524 00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,946 -(chuckling) -Yeah. It had a... 525 00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:10,149 -sizable impact on our lives. -JACK: Mm-hmm. 526 00:24:10,182 --> 00:24:11,951 (Rebecca laughs) 527 00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,787 (Rebecca sighs) 528 00:24:14,821 --> 00:24:17,156 I-I think I told you last year, Jack, 529 00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:19,659 that my wife and I lost our first child. 530 00:24:19,692 --> 00:24:22,294 Yeah, mm-hmm. 531 00:24:22,328 --> 00:24:25,998 Well, imagine me way back then, if you can, 532 00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:28,200 full of hope, 533 00:24:28,234 --> 00:24:31,170 -full head of hair, -(Jack and Rebecca chuckle) 534 00:24:31,203 --> 00:24:33,640 expecting my first child. 535 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,045 (laughs) 536 00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:42,148 I used to sing to my wife's pregnant belly. 537 00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:45,718 Never had much of a voice, but that didn't stop me. 538 00:24:45,752 --> 00:24:48,120 My go-to was, uh, "Blue Skies." 539 00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:49,522 You know that one? 540 00:24:49,556 --> 00:24:51,023 Uh... 541 00:24:52,258 --> 00:24:55,361 * Blue skies smilin' at me * 542 00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:58,531 * Nothin' but blue skies * 543 00:24:58,565 --> 00:25:02,301 * Do I see * 544 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:05,504 * Bluebird singin' a song * 545 00:25:06,739 --> 00:25:10,476 * Nothin' but blue skies * 546 00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:13,112 * From now on. * 547 00:25:17,283 --> 00:25:20,419 I sang that song every day to my unborn child. 548 00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:25,291 And then we lost that child. 549 00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:32,064 For the first month after that, 550 00:25:32,098 --> 00:25:35,501 my wife and I would... sit in our den 551 00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:38,671 and listen to that song on our scratchy old record player 552 00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:40,873 over and over and over again. 553 00:25:42,775 --> 00:25:44,777 It made us so sad. 554 00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:51,117 It was like we were punishing ourselves. 555 00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:54,654 Yeah. 556 00:25:56,288 --> 00:25:58,257 But then one day, 557 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:01,460 my wife got pregnant again. 558 00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:03,596 And to my great surprise, 559 00:26:03,630 --> 00:26:06,966 I found myself singing that very same song 560 00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:09,435 to that very same belly. 561 00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:15,775 And then, 25 years later, 562 00:26:15,808 --> 00:26:19,145 I'd dance with my daughter to that song at her wedding. 563 00:26:22,348 --> 00:26:25,251 That song. Ah. 564 00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:27,319 It made us happy, it made us sad, 565 00:26:27,353 --> 00:26:29,088 it made us happy again. 566 00:26:29,121 --> 00:26:32,391 The whole human experience just wrapped up in that one... 567 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,426 song. 568 00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:39,531 Hospitals are kind of like that, you know. 569 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,803 These bizarre buildings where people experience 570 00:26:43,836 --> 00:26:47,573 some of their greatest joys and... 571 00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:52,111 some of their most awful tragedies. 572 00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:56,649 All under one roof. 573 00:26:58,851 --> 00:27:02,121 I think the trick is... 574 00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,590 not trying to keep... 575 00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:07,660 the joys and the tragedies apart. 576 00:27:07,694 --> 00:27:10,429 But you kind of got to let 'em 577 00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:13,199 cozy up to one another. You know, 578 00:27:13,232 --> 00:27:15,501 let 'em coexist. 579 00:27:15,534 --> 00:27:18,838 Hey, Toby, our marriage barely survived the year. 580 00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:20,840 We have a son with special needs, 581 00:27:20,873 --> 00:27:24,510 we have a crazy mortgage, and adoption comes with risks. 582 00:27:24,543 --> 00:27:26,378 You know? I just think we're setting ourselves up 583 00:27:26,412 --> 00:27:28,114 for a major body blow here. 584 00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,116 Yeah, maybe being in the NICU 585 00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:33,686 just made us emotionally high. 586 00:27:35,587 --> 00:27:37,456 I mean, will we even really want this 587 00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:39,458 once we've left the parking lot? 588 00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:41,027 Probably not. 589 00:27:41,060 --> 00:27:43,229 -Yeah. -(engine starts) 590 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:54,573 DR. K.: And I think that if you can do that, if you can 591 00:27:54,606 --> 00:27:56,508 manage to forge ahead 592 00:27:56,542 --> 00:28:01,714 with all that joy and heartache mixed up together inside of you, 593 00:28:01,748 --> 00:28:05,017 never knowing which one's gonna get the upper hand... 594 00:28:05,051 --> 00:28:07,186 All right, we're out of the parking lot. 595 00:28:07,219 --> 00:28:09,055 Yeah. 596 00:28:10,256 --> 00:28:12,258 I still want it. 597 00:28:13,559 --> 00:28:15,427 Me, too. 598 00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,530 Well, there you have it. 599 00:28:18,564 --> 00:28:20,266 (laughs) 600 00:28:23,635 --> 00:28:25,938 Boy or girl? Boy or girl? 601 00:28:25,972 --> 00:28:27,439 -Ma'am? -It's okay. 602 00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:29,508 -She's my sister. -It's a girl. 603 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,410 -Oh, thank God. -(laughing) 604 00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:34,080 Let me see my niece. 605 00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:36,082 Oh. (laughs) Yes! 606 00:28:36,115 --> 00:28:38,250 (drumming steering wheel rhythmically) 607 00:28:38,284 --> 00:28:39,919 -(laughs) -DR. K.: And, 608 00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:42,288 well, life does have a way 609 00:28:42,321 --> 00:28:44,256 of shaking out to be more beautiful 610 00:28:44,290 --> 00:28:47,093 than tragic. 611 00:28:49,295 --> 00:28:51,030 Not as good as the lemon thing, 612 00:28:51,063 --> 00:28:53,399 but it's the best I can do at short notice. 613 00:28:53,432 --> 00:28:55,401 (Rebecca and Jack laugh) 614 00:28:55,434 --> 00:28:56,936 -It's pretty good. -Yeah. 615 00:29:04,010 --> 00:29:06,112 (clicks tongue) Come on, George. Come on. 616 00:29:06,145 --> 00:29:07,780 (clicks tongue) Come on. 617 00:29:07,814 --> 00:29:10,149 (clicks tongue) He was cooped up in a small pasture 618 00:29:10,182 --> 00:29:12,484 with three other horses before we found him. 619 00:29:12,518 --> 00:29:15,487 You're asking him to be still when all he wants to do is run. 620 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:18,590 Come on, George. 621 00:29:18,624 --> 00:29:21,593 Little early to give up on him, don't you think? 622 00:29:21,627 --> 00:29:24,730 You haven't even given him a chance to be himself yet. 623 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,666 Whoa. Come on. There you go. 624 00:29:27,699 --> 00:29:29,802 You're getting too tall and too smart. 625 00:29:31,103 --> 00:29:33,239 I got to shower and head to the office. 626 00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:34,606 Okay. 627 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,343 -I love you, honey. -Love you. 628 00:29:48,654 --> 00:29:51,390 (sighs) 629 00:29:57,363 --> 00:29:59,832 Okay. 630 00:29:59,866 --> 00:30:02,468 And how are we feeling today? 631 00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:04,603 Same... really. 632 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:07,339 I'll take "same" every day. 633 00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:12,611 Oh, blood work looks good. 634 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:15,514 Everything seems... 635 00:30:16,582 --> 00:30:19,385 Sorry. (sighs) 636 00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:22,321 I just still can't believe I'm here. 637 00:30:22,354 --> 00:30:25,357 Uh, bulimia. 638 00:30:25,391 --> 00:30:28,961 I didn't have my period for years. 639 00:30:28,995 --> 00:30:31,763 They told me I'd probably never have children. 640 00:30:32,932 --> 00:30:35,001 Well... 641 00:30:35,034 --> 00:30:37,403 you definitely proved them wrong. 642 00:30:41,874 --> 00:30:44,143 Madison, this is your... 643 00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:46,879 third appointment alone. 644 00:30:46,913 --> 00:30:49,181 Is there anyone you can...? 645 00:30:50,917 --> 00:30:53,419 I haven't told anyone. 646 00:30:53,452 --> 00:30:55,387 I'm, um... 647 00:30:55,421 --> 00:30:59,525 I'm not close with my family, and, um, 648 00:30:59,558 --> 00:31:02,361 I only have one good friend, and I can't tell her. 649 00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:07,166 I told a barista at Starbucks. 650 00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:09,301 He was not invested. 651 00:31:11,737 --> 00:31:15,507 And the father...? 652 00:31:15,541 --> 00:31:19,178 We barely know each other. 653 00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:22,248 Actually, the only thing I definitively know about him 654 00:31:22,281 --> 00:31:24,216 is that he... 655 00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:27,119 comes from a long line of great love stories. 656 00:31:29,455 --> 00:31:31,857 And this... 657 00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,426 This would not be what he wants. 658 00:31:37,263 --> 00:31:39,331 There's no way he'd... 659 00:31:40,666 --> 00:31:42,668 There's no way he'd want this. 660 00:31:46,772 --> 00:31:48,907 Little early to give up on him. 661 00:31:50,276 --> 00:31:52,311 No? 662 00:31:52,344 --> 00:31:55,681 You haven't even given him a chance to be himself yet. 663 00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:04,523 Hey, Mom. 664 00:32:05,791 --> 00:32:08,460 Hey, sweetheart. 665 00:32:08,494 --> 00:32:10,596 We were just about to, uh, 666 00:32:10,629 --> 00:32:13,299 show Beth and the girls Hollywood Boulevard 667 00:32:13,332 --> 00:32:15,601 and the, um... 668 00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:17,003 the... the footprints. 669 00:32:17,036 --> 00:32:18,437 -Footprints, yeah. -Yeah. 670 00:32:18,470 --> 00:32:20,739 Did you get enough to eat? 671 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:23,642 Uh, no. Movie stars never get enough to eat, Mom. 672 00:32:23,675 --> 00:32:25,277 -Have I taught you nothing? -(laughs) 673 00:32:25,311 --> 00:32:27,313 Silly. 674 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:32,484 Mom, you know, I was really surprised 675 00:32:32,518 --> 00:32:35,021 about your announcement earlier. I just... 676 00:32:35,054 --> 00:32:39,158 You-you seemed so adamant in New York, you know. 677 00:32:39,191 --> 00:32:41,693 No, I-I-I know. I, um... 678 00:32:41,727 --> 00:32:44,363 I guess when I really started to think about it, I... 679 00:32:44,396 --> 00:32:48,167 Mm, I just had a change of heart, that's all. 680 00:32:49,368 --> 00:32:51,337 It's a big change of heart, though. 681 00:32:52,838 --> 00:32:55,341 I think I just came to... 682 00:32:55,374 --> 00:32:58,510 view it as... a-an investment in my future. 683 00:33:03,215 --> 00:33:04,883 What did you say? 684 00:33:04,916 --> 00:33:07,753 REBECCA: Hmm? What? 685 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:10,789 That's what Randall said. 686 00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:12,424 Oh. 687 00:33:22,101 --> 00:33:23,635 Hey, Kevin? 688 00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:25,537 Hey, Rebecca, what do you say we get out of here 689 00:33:25,571 --> 00:33:26,572 and go see those Hamptons? 690 00:33:26,605 --> 00:33:28,040 -No, I... -Rebecca. 691 00:33:28,074 --> 00:33:31,543 Let's get Miguel and the girls and just clear out. Okay? 692 00:33:33,245 --> 00:33:35,747 -Hey, Miguel? Girls? -Okay. 693 00:33:41,053 --> 00:33:42,854 What'd you say to her? 694 00:33:42,888 --> 00:33:44,590 -Sorry? -Oh, no. Like hell you are. 695 00:33:44,623 --> 00:33:45,924 What did you say to Mom 696 00:33:45,957 --> 00:33:47,826 to convince her to go to Saint Louis? 697 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,629 -I have no idea what you're talking... -Don't do that. 698 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,168 I did whatever I needed to do 699 00:33:56,202 --> 00:33:58,570 to give our mother the best possible chance. 700 00:33:59,938 --> 00:34:01,540 You couldn't do it, huh? 701 00:34:01,573 --> 00:34:03,375 You just... you couldn't let her side with me, Randall. 702 00:34:03,409 --> 00:34:04,876 (chuckles) 703 00:34:04,910 --> 00:34:08,013 Did you just say I couldn't let her side with... 704 00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:10,916 -You know what, man? We're not doing this. Yeah. -No, like hell we're not. 705 00:34:10,949 --> 00:34:12,551 She was clear about what she wanted. 706 00:34:12,584 --> 00:34:14,553 She was clear, Randall, that whatever good time 707 00:34:14,586 --> 00:34:16,922 she had left, she wanted to spend with her family. 708 00:34:16,955 --> 00:34:18,957 And whenever that good time inevitably comes to an end, 709 00:34:18,990 --> 00:34:20,426 Kevin, every one of you will regret 710 00:34:20,459 --> 00:34:21,893 not having fought for more of it. 711 00:34:21,927 --> 00:34:23,295 Don't do it. Don't walk away. 712 00:34:23,329 --> 00:34:25,264 Randall. 713 00:34:26,298 --> 00:34:28,134 Randall. 714 00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:31,270 -Randall. Hey, hey. -What, man? 715 00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:33,572 -Man, take your hand off me. -Oh, what are you gonna do, huh? 716 00:34:33,605 --> 00:34:34,806 What are you gonna do, Randall? 717 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,074 I'm not some out-of-shape purse snatcher. 718 00:34:36,108 --> 00:34:37,243 You gonna sucker punch me? 719 00:34:37,276 --> 00:34:39,077 (doorbell rings) 720 00:34:39,111 --> 00:34:41,413 I did what I needed to do to help our mother. 721 00:34:41,447 --> 00:34:43,282 -Okay? -Yeah. Regardless of what she wanted, right? 722 00:34:43,315 --> 00:34:45,284 Regardless of what she needed. 723 00:34:45,317 --> 00:34:46,818 -(doorbell rings) -(exhales, mutters) 724 00:34:46,852 --> 00:34:48,754 Who the hell is it? 725 00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:50,589 -What? -Hey. 726 00:34:50,622 --> 00:34:52,791 Sorry I'm late for the party. 727 00:34:52,824 --> 00:34:54,793 This is really not a good time, Madison. 728 00:34:54,826 --> 00:34:56,995 Actually, it's a perfect time. I'm taking a walk. 729 00:34:57,028 --> 00:34:58,964 Randall. 730 00:35:01,133 --> 00:35:02,934 What's going on? 731 00:35:02,968 --> 00:35:04,503 -Where is everyone? -This is literally 732 00:35:04,536 --> 00:35:08,174 the exact definition of "not a good time." 733 00:35:08,207 --> 00:35:09,775 Kevin... (exhales) 734 00:35:09,808 --> 00:35:12,511 we need to talk, and... 735 00:35:12,544 --> 00:35:14,513 we need to do it now, before I lose my nerve. 736 00:35:14,546 --> 00:35:17,015 Look. (exhales) Just, I'm... 737 00:35:17,048 --> 00:35:19,951 I'm not sure what we need to talk about, honestly, okay? 738 00:35:19,985 --> 00:35:21,620 Uh, look, you were lonely. 739 00:35:21,653 --> 00:35:24,423 I get that. I was, uh, heartbroken. 740 00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:25,824 And I don't know why we have to relitigate 741 00:35:25,857 --> 00:35:27,293 the whole stupid thing. I just... 742 00:35:27,326 --> 00:35:29,361 -You know, we made a mistake... -I'm pregnant, Kevin. 743 00:35:31,997 --> 00:35:34,333 You're the father. 744 00:35:36,235 --> 00:35:38,204 It's the question I would ask. 745 00:35:38,237 --> 00:35:41,840 And... you are. 746 00:35:45,010 --> 00:35:47,246 I'm sorry. 747 00:35:48,314 --> 00:35:49,715 (exhales) 748 00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:53,319 I know I am a complete stranger to you. 749 00:35:53,352 --> 00:35:55,721 I am just your sister's friend. 750 00:35:55,754 --> 00:35:59,725 And... I honestly know nothing about you, 751 00:35:59,758 --> 00:36:03,695 other than how much you love your high school girlfriend. 752 00:36:09,268 --> 00:36:12,504 I've decided I'm gonna go through with this. 753 00:36:15,274 --> 00:36:17,409 You don't know my medical history, 754 00:36:17,443 --> 00:36:20,679 but this is kind of a miracle for me. 755 00:36:23,114 --> 00:36:28,153 But I need you to know I will not ask anything of you. 756 00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,589 Emotionally, financially-- 757 00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:33,559 all of it. 758 00:36:33,592 --> 00:36:35,994 You can still find the great love story you deserve. 759 00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:37,095 Madison. 760 00:36:43,635 --> 00:36:45,704 I think I might pass out. 761 00:36:45,737 --> 00:36:47,539 I'm just... I'm gonna... I'm not walking away 762 00:36:47,573 --> 00:36:49,541 from this conversation, okay? 763 00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:52,177 -I just... I need a minute to... -Yeah. No. 764 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,345 I'm sorry. 765 00:36:53,379 --> 00:36:54,746 Just... 766 00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:56,682 One second. 767 00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:57,916 (sniffs) 768 00:37:04,423 --> 00:37:06,292 (exhales) 769 00:37:06,325 --> 00:37:08,760 (breathing heavily) 770 00:37:14,766 --> 00:37:16,768 You know what, Kev, I'm not gonna walk away from this. 771 00:37:16,802 --> 00:37:19,070 -Randall, please, I can't do this right now. -You think you know what's best 772 00:37:19,104 --> 00:37:20,572 for her because you spent a day with her? 773 00:37:20,606 --> 00:37:22,308 Because you took her to a movie premiere? 774 00:37:22,341 --> 00:37:24,410 I think I know what's best for her because she told us, 775 00:37:24,443 --> 00:37:26,077 -Randall, and you took that from her. -How dare you, man? 776 00:37:26,111 --> 00:37:27,813 How dare you waltz in here after 40 years? 777 00:37:27,846 --> 00:37:29,981 -How dare... (groaning) -No, no, no. How dare I what? 778 00:37:30,015 --> 00:37:31,917 How dare you pretend that you give a rat's ass 779 00:37:31,950 --> 00:37:34,085 about what anybody else wants other than you? 780 00:37:34,119 --> 00:37:36,221 You want Mom to spend more time with the family 781 00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:38,290 because you want to spend more time with her. 782 00:37:38,324 --> 00:37:40,426 You want Mom to decide with you. 783 00:37:40,459 --> 00:37:42,494 -You, you, you. -Are you kidding me right now? 784 00:37:42,528 --> 00:37:44,430 -This is about me? -Huh. 785 00:37:44,463 --> 00:37:46,765 This isn't about me, Randall. This is about you. 786 00:37:46,798 --> 00:37:49,067 It's not about Mom. It's about you wanting to save Mom. 787 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,836 -You have no idea. -That's what this is about. 788 00:37:50,869 --> 00:37:52,671 You have no idea what you're talking about, Kevin. 789 00:37:52,704 --> 00:37:54,906 You have no idea what it means to actually take care of people. 790 00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:56,608 Oh, yes. Oh, exactly. Because I left, right? 791 00:37:56,642 --> 00:37:58,276 Because I left and you stayed and played martyr. 792 00:37:58,310 --> 00:38:00,178 I stayed, and I took care of our family, man. 793 00:38:00,211 --> 00:38:02,147 Well, you did a good job taking care of Dad, didn't you? 794 00:38:02,180 --> 00:38:04,350 -What the hell is that supposed to mean? -You want to do this now? 795 00:38:04,383 --> 00:38:06,818 -Please. By all means. -You want to do this now, finally, after all these years? 796 00:38:06,852 --> 00:38:08,487 Let's do it. You know, this whole narrative 797 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,821 that you keep spinning, this narrative 798 00:38:09,855 --> 00:38:11,357 that you took care of the family, 799 00:38:11,390 --> 00:38:13,124 where the hell did that come from? Huh? 800 00:38:13,158 --> 00:38:15,361 -'Cause all I know is, if I had been there, -Mm-hmm. 801 00:38:15,394 --> 00:38:16,695 I would've walked through literal fire, 802 00:38:16,728 --> 00:38:18,296 and I would've pulled that man out. 803 00:38:18,330 --> 00:38:20,131 Mm. 804 00:38:20,165 --> 00:38:21,800 Well, Kev, I guess we'll never know, 805 00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:23,535 because you weren't there. 806 00:38:23,569 --> 00:38:26,705 And he died ashamed of you. 807 00:38:26,738 --> 00:38:29,307 And I think... I think that's the part 808 00:38:29,341 --> 00:38:30,976 that really gets you, isn't it? 809 00:38:31,009 --> 00:38:32,711 The shame that he felt for you 810 00:38:32,744 --> 00:38:34,780 and the pride that he felt for me. 811 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,215 I mean, you're not even chasing Dad's shadow, Kevin. 812 00:38:37,248 --> 00:38:38,884 You're chasing mine. 813 00:38:38,917 --> 00:38:41,052 But you'll never be him and you'll never be me, 814 00:38:41,086 --> 00:38:43,221 because you'll never know what it's like to devote yourself 815 00:38:43,254 --> 00:38:46,057 to anyone other than yourself. 816 00:38:46,091 --> 00:38:48,394 You'll pretend, 817 00:38:48,427 --> 00:38:51,029 but it'll just be a performance. 818 00:38:51,062 --> 00:38:54,500 A tired, stale performance. 819 00:38:54,533 --> 00:38:57,603 Like all of your performances. 820 00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:05,744 You know, I used to think the worst thing that happened to me 821 00:39:05,777 --> 00:39:07,779 was the day that Dad died. 822 00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:16,354 It's the day they brought you home. 823 00:39:16,388 --> 00:39:18,890 Hand to God, Randall, the worst thing that ever happened to me 824 00:39:18,924 --> 00:39:21,059 was the day they brought you home. 825 00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:37,876 (car door opens) 826 00:39:39,878 --> 00:39:41,513 (car door closes) 827 00:39:41,547 --> 00:39:43,949 (engine starts) 828 00:39:46,918 --> 00:39:49,555 DR. K: * Blue skies * 829 00:39:49,588 --> 00:39:52,223 * Smilin' at me * 830 00:39:53,425 --> 00:39:57,796 * Nothin' but blue skies * 831 00:39:57,829 --> 00:40:00,699 * Do I see * 832 00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:02,601 (phone buzzes) 833 00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:05,437 * Bluebirds * 834 00:40:05,471 --> 00:40:08,940 * Singin' a song * 835 00:40:08,974 --> 00:40:13,144 * Nothin' but blue skies * 836 00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:16,782 * From now on * 837 00:40:17,849 --> 00:40:19,951 (knocking) 838 00:40:19,985 --> 00:40:21,787 Hey, old man. 839 00:40:21,820 --> 00:40:23,589 We got a meeting to hit. 840 00:40:23,622 --> 00:40:25,290 Kevin. 841 00:40:27,325 --> 00:40:29,628 * Never saw the sun * 842 00:40:29,661 --> 00:40:31,963 * Shinin' so bright * 843 00:40:31,997 --> 00:40:34,399 * Never saw things goin' * 844 00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:36,267 * So right * 845 00:40:37,936 --> 00:40:40,972 * Noticing the days hurrying by * 846 00:40:42,674 --> 00:40:44,776 * When you're in love * 847 00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:50,248 * My, how they fly * 848 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:52,551 * Blue days * 849 00:40:54,019 --> 00:40:55,854 * All of them gone * 850 00:40:57,523 --> 00:41:01,993 * Nothin' but blue skies * 851 00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:05,631 * From now on. * 852 00:41:05,664 --> 00:41:08,399 * 853 00:41:09,701 --> 00:41:11,703 (sighs) 854 00:41:18,176 --> 00:41:21,547 I'm so sick of chasing ghosts. 855 00:41:21,580 --> 00:41:24,583 I'm tired of doubting myself. 856 00:41:27,519 --> 00:41:30,822 I'm all in, Madison. 857 00:41:30,856 --> 00:41:33,659 Whatever you need, I am all in. 858 00:41:37,262 --> 00:41:39,765 * 859 00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:50,441 How are you? 860 00:41:57,048 --> 00:41:59,217 KEVIN: I want this. 861 00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:01,052 And maybe I-I didn't think it would... 862 00:42:01,086 --> 00:42:02,754 (exhales) 863 00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:07,125 I want to be a father. 864 00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:12,430 I think I'd be great at it. 865 00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,635 (whispers): Hi, Mom. 866 00:42:18,637 --> 00:42:21,840 The love of my life will be my child. 867 00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:23,609 Hey, Dad. 868 00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:27,145 Hey, kiddo. How are you? 869 00:42:30,649 --> 00:42:32,150 Children. 870 00:42:34,485 --> 00:42:37,088 It's twins, Kevin. 871 00:42:38,757 --> 00:42:40,759 Hey, baby. 872 00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:44,029 Are you okay? 873 00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:45,263 Yeah. 874 00:42:45,296 --> 00:42:47,198 Yeah, I'm okay. 875 00:42:47,232 --> 00:42:49,467 * 876 00:42:51,837 --> 00:42:53,705 What's her name? 877 00:42:53,739 --> 00:42:57,108 * 878 00:43:26,872 --> 00:43:28,640 JACK JR.: Hope. 879 00:43:28,674 --> 00:43:30,441 Her name is Hope. 880 00:44:13,318 --> 00:44:15,320 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 61156

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