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["Falling Out of Love" playing
by Ivan Neville]
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{\an8}♪ Don't know why it seems ♪
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♪ Like a long, long time ♪
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{\an8}♪ Since I've been on the move ♪
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{\an8}♪ I'm just tryin' to find my way ♪
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♪ Don't know my name ♪
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♪ Livin' day to day ♪
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♪ Just a little boy who wants to have
His way ♪
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{\an8}♪ I just can't keep still ♪
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{\an8}♪ And I'm falling out of love ♪
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{\an8}♪ Falling out of love ♪
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{\an8}♪ Sometimes it feels ♪
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{\an8}♪ Like I'm runnin' out of time ♪
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♪ Sand slippin' through my fingers ♪
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{\an8}♪ Like rivers through my mind ♪
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{\an8}♪ On the corner hangin' with the boys ♪
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{\an8}♪ I always will be ♪
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♪ Falling out of love ♪
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{\an8}♪ Falling out of love ♪
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{\an8}♪ In and out of love ♪
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♪ Out of love ♪
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♪ Out of love ♪
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{\an8}♪ Just foolin' around ♪
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{\an8}♪ Can't slow down ♪
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♪ Should have listened
To what my daddy said ♪
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♪ Just wanna be cool ♪
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{\an8}♪ Another fool I can't keep still ♪
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{\an8}♪ And I'm feelin' kind of blue ♪
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{\an8}♪ My eyes are red ♪
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{\an8}♪ But something keeps tellin' me ♪
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{\an8}♪ That I know ♪
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{\an8}♪ Just what is gonna become
Of this little boy ♪
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{\an8}♪ Inside this heart of mine ♪
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♪ I keep on ♪
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{\an8}♪ Falling out of love ♪
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♪ Falling out of love ♪
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{\an8}-[Zachary] I don't know what to say.
-How about, "The Lord is my shepherd"?
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[whimpers]
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-Come on, Angie. Drop the gun.
-Is that it?
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Zachary Hutton... Pulitzer Prize-winning
playwright,
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internationally acclaimed author,
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about to be shot to death by a jealous
female,
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and all he can come up with is, "Come on,
Angie. Drop the gun."
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-[woman] Zach!
-I'll be right with you.
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-Who are you kidding?
-[gun loads]
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You know as well as I do you're not
gonna shoot.
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You couldn't kill a fly.
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I could if I caught it fucking
my hairdresser.
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[thuds]
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Angie, come on now. Give me the gun.
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Tell you what? I'll be fair about this.
Community property.
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I keep the gun, you get the bullets.
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[gun clicks]
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[grunting]
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-But I saw you load it.
-You weren't paying attention.
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I always keep the first chamber empty.
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-Oh, really?
-Yeah.
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[gunshot]
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[screaming]
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-Son of a bitch!
-You're overreacting.
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Get out of here, you bitch!
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-[gunshot]
-Angie!
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God damn it!
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Hello?
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Darling?
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[woman sobbing]
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Come on, Angie, for God's sake!
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-Goodbye, Zach.
-Please, please, please.
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-Hello.
-Alex?
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I thought you were on a plane.
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-Engine trouble.
-Oh. I'm sorry.
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You have me at a disadvantage.
You obviously know who I am.
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-I'm Angela Smith.
-And what do you do, Angela,
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besides trying to kill my husband?
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-Alex?
-[Alex and Angela] Shut up!
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I'm an investment counselor.
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-And Zach's mistress.
-Who was that in the sheet?
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My hairdresser.
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-I think I get the picture.
-Alex?
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If you still wanna kill him,
do me a favor and take him outside.
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Those are new sheets.
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Go ahead and shoot.
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No. That's too good for you.
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[choking]
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But I bet when that lady gets through
with you... you'll wish I had.
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[breathes heavily]
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Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Let's see
if I got this straight.
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-Angie catches you in bed with--
-Tina.
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In your house?
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-She was cutting my hair.
-Bed?
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I know it sounds turgid,
but I have a barber chair in my study.
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Spurious perhaps, but not turgid.
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She was finishing up with the blow-dryer.
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A skittish instrument
if there ever was one.
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-One thing led to another.
-Enter Angie with your 38.
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Luckily, I always keep the first chamber
empty.
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Oh, lucky, indeed.
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That's the first empty chamber
you ever filled since I've known you.
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-[Waitress] Scotch, rocks.
-Barney, do you really perceive me
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as a major compulsive womanizer?
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A 42-year-old shooting star
in a galactic harem.
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Can I be cured?
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Do you wanna be cured?
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-I know it's ruining my life, and yet--
-And yet.
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Two words that to one degree or another
plague us all.
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-You see, I truly love women.
-Oh, I see.
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I love everything about them, Barney.
I love the way they feel,
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the way they smell, most of the time.
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I-- I have to admit, I don't like women
with long, round toenails.
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But that is the only abrogation so far.
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And so far has been quite a while
and quite a few.
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Oh, that's true.
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-Out of soup.
-I long... for a meaningful,
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monogamous, healthy relationship.
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And I-- I was sure I had it with Alex,
but the truth is, Barney...
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in the deep dark silence
of my considered conscience,
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where there's just me and me...
the unmitigated truth
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-is I want it all.
-Hey, wanting is okay.
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I want a loving,
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faithful, caring, care taking wife,
and I wanna make love
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to everything else in long skirts,
with bare feet and ripe, juicy mouths.
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Little boy-girls with small, firm breasts
and tight asses.
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Rubenesque round women with big
Mother Earth breasts
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and green eyes. God! I could go on and on.
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Don't. I'm getting a hard-on.
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-Me too. God.
-[both laugh]
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The point is,
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I'm bright enough to know
it's an impossible dream,
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but I'm helpless to act otherwise.
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[Alex] However, the ultimate fate
of the bill is still in question,
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since those close to the president,
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who were willing to guess,
believe he will veto the bill.
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But proponents say such a program
is the only way to--
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Zach, may I make a suggestion?
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-Please do.
-Look.
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Don't try to solve it tonight. Go home.
Sleep on it.
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Alas, old friend, I have no home.
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She chucked me out lock, stock
and typewriter.
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[Zach] What have you got against
my typewriter?
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[Alex] You used to write on it. Books
and plays and movies.
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Once-- once you wrote a poem
on our second anniversary
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and gave it to me. And you were happy.
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You exorcised your demons with credible
thoughts and good words on that typewriter
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and your talent turned me on.
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I really thought we had a chance
"until death do us part."
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And then one day you stopped. You gave up.
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-I dried up. It happens to writers.
-Oh, so you bury yourself
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with the first young female
that comes along,
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in the hopes she's going to magically
restore your lost talent?
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00:08:40,925 --> 00:08:42,343
-Alex--
-No, don't say it.
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This is a lecture, not a debate.
And since I don't intend to speak to you
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for the rest of this lifetime,
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you either get out now, or shut up
and let me finish.
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I'm not saying that your condition
is unique.
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00:09:09,453 --> 00:09:11,789
In fact, quite a few older men
do the same thing.
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How about quite a few older women?
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If you're trying to redeem yourself
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by implying that I might
have been unfaithful to you,
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you're barking up the wrong older woman.
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I could have, but regrettably didn't.
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I threw out that typewriter
because it represents everything
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that could have been loving and lasting,
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and wonderful, and everything that wasn't.
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-Can I say something? Please?
-No! No! No!
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You have 20 minutes to get your things
and get out of this house forever,
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or I will get a restraining order
and have you removed.
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00:10:04,675 --> 00:10:07,511
[Zach] It's over, but I still love
that woman, Jake.
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00:10:08,178 --> 00:10:09,471
You think you could patch it up?
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00:10:09,972 --> 00:10:12,349
[sighs] No, it's over. It's--
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Hmm. That's a shame, because her divorce
lawyer called this morning.
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She-- she's gonna be tough.
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-How tough?
-Well, half of everything you've earned
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since you've been married. A hundred
thousand a year
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-for the next five years.
-What?
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-The house, the farm, both cars.
-You've gotta be kidding.
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-There's something I forgot.
-How about the shirt off my back?
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That's it.
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00:10:35,039 --> 00:10:38,208
I'll tell you what I'll give her. I'll
give her exactly what she's entitled to.
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00:10:38,876 --> 00:10:43,339
The house... the farm... both cars.
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00:10:44,006 --> 00:10:47,176
A hundred thousand dollars a year
for five years.
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00:10:49,845 --> 00:10:53,724
I'm a desperate man, doctor. I need help.
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00:10:54,642 --> 00:10:57,102
I've gotta change my way of living.
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00:10:58,687 --> 00:11:00,814
And if that ain't enough,
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00:11:01,065 --> 00:11:03,484
I'm gonna change the way I strut my stuff.
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♪ 'Cause nobody loves you when you're old
And gray ♪
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♪ There'll be some changes made today ♪
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♪ Yes, sir, there'll be
Some changes made ♪
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00:11:12,034 --> 00:11:14,286
♪ Duh-duh-da ♪
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00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:21,543
I couldn't resist it. You think I'm crazy?
190
00:11:22,711 --> 00:11:23,671
No.
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00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:26,215
Then, what the hell is wrong with me?
192
00:11:27,341 --> 00:11:30,302
Well, for one thing, you can't sing
worth shit.
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00:11:31,553 --> 00:11:35,224
[Zach] I can't go on like this, doctor.
If it's the last thing I do,
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00:11:35,307 --> 00:11:37,393
I'm gonna settle down,
start writing again,
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00:11:37,476 --> 00:11:40,020
and stop chasing after beautiful,
young women.
196
00:11:51,991 --> 00:11:53,617
[horn honks]
197
00:11:54,827 --> 00:11:56,328
[crash]
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00:11:56,453 --> 00:11:58,122
[man] Whoa!
199
00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:05,963
[man] Camera two, get a tight shot
on Alex, will you?
200
00:12:06,046 --> 00:12:07,256
We don't wanna miss this one.
201
00:12:07,339 --> 00:12:10,175
-KRA-TV is proud to present...
-Ten seconds.
202
00:12:11,135 --> 00:12:13,804
-Have you seen Adam White's piece?
-No. Is it good?
203
00:12:14,388 --> 00:12:16,223
You-- you don't know about it?
204
00:12:16,473 --> 00:12:17,474
[man] Five seconds.
205
00:12:17,725 --> 00:12:20,269
Should I? What's so amazing
about gridlock?
206
00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:22,896
[man 2] On one.
207
00:12:23,397 --> 00:12:26,692
If you drive, you know about it.
It's called gridlock.
208
00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:30,612
It happens when traffic gets so congested,
not even a green light means move.
209
00:12:31,363 --> 00:12:33,323
{\an8}In this continuing series on gridlock,
210
00:12:33,490 --> 00:12:36,076
{\an8}Adam White shows us how this bumper
to bumper disease
211
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:39,204
{\an8}is spreading from town to town.
212
00:12:39,913 --> 00:12:43,417
{\an8}[Adam] Alex, it is now clear that gridlock
is an epidemic.
213
00:12:43,584 --> 00:12:46,962
No one can escape it. You are looking
at the proof here in Brentwood,
214
00:12:47,129 --> 00:12:49,381
a shopping center for the rich and famous.
215
00:12:50,632 --> 00:12:52,468
This can be particularly dangerous,
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00:12:52,593 --> 00:12:54,344
because paramedics
can't even make their way
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00:12:54,511 --> 00:12:55,888
to help gridlock victims,
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00:12:56,013 --> 00:12:58,265
which in this case turned out to be.
219
00:12:58,390 --> 00:13:00,726
Zachary Hutton, famous author
and playwright.
220
00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:05,064
The victim was lucky. No serious injuries,
and a beautiful amateur nurse
221
00:13:05,314 --> 00:13:07,357
who sells real estate in her spare time.
222
00:13:07,483 --> 00:13:09,068
What do you bet she sells him a house?
223
00:13:27,878 --> 00:13:30,631
[Zach] For a while there, I thought,
"This is it."
224
00:13:31,048 --> 00:13:33,634
I was convinced it couldn't get
any better.
225
00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:36,095
I should have known better.
226
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,644
[sighs]
227
00:13:49,858 --> 00:13:55,697
-Don't worry about it... it happens.
-Not to me.
228
00:14:00,369 --> 00:14:03,789
Not being able to screw is as bad
as not being able to write.
229
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,085
Maybe you should try writing again.
230
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,380
What the fuck does that mean?
231
00:14:12,881 --> 00:14:14,049
I don't know.
232
00:14:14,383 --> 00:14:18,470
I'm not the burning bush. I made
a suggestion, not a commandment.
233
00:14:21,265 --> 00:14:23,267
[sobbing]
234
00:14:25,394 --> 00:14:26,979
-Hi, Jasper.
-Welcome, Mr. Hutton.
235
00:14:27,062 --> 00:14:29,231
There he is. Hey, Curt.
236
00:14:30,399 --> 00:14:32,901
-I'm glad you could come.
-Curt Ames, Helena Walker.
237
00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:34,611
-Hello, how are you?
-How's he been?
238
00:14:34,903 --> 00:14:36,196
-Just adorable.
-That bad?
239
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,364
Mm-hm.
240
00:14:37,447 --> 00:14:39,116
-Dear boy.
-Hi, Sparky.
241
00:14:39,283 --> 00:14:44,079
Faulkner's one-time heir apparent,
and all he can say is "Hi, Sparky."
242
00:14:44,621 --> 00:14:47,166
Never mind. It's nice to see you again.
Denise?
243
00:14:47,374 --> 00:14:49,585
Helena. Helena Walker, Leon Sparks.
244
00:14:49,751 --> 00:14:51,420
-So we've met.
-No.
245
00:14:52,379 --> 00:14:53,297
Oh, shit.
246
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:56,842
-I foozled your redheads. Forgive me.
-Well, you know what they say.
247
00:14:56,925 --> 00:14:58,886
Once you've seen one, you've seen
them all.
248
00:14:58,969 --> 00:15:01,138
I'm sure Zach, as an expert
on the subject,
249
00:15:01,221 --> 00:15:02,764
would be the first to denounce
that canard.
250
00:15:03,515 --> 00:15:06,059
But for the moment, dear boy,
why don't you do whatever is necessary
251
00:15:06,143 --> 00:15:07,561
to make yourself comfortable,
252
00:15:07,769 --> 00:15:10,105
while I try to redeem myself with Helena
253
00:15:10,189 --> 00:15:13,692
by introducing her to some clever people,
more her age.
254
00:15:14,484 --> 00:15:17,070
-Excuse me.
-Double vodka tonic.
255
00:15:22,618 --> 00:15:26,663
I decided not to drink to avoid arguments,
256
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:31,376
and to be alert to the narrative
possibilities of the evening.
257
00:15:31,668 --> 00:15:35,589
[Zach] Then, Alex arrives with my stepson
Greg.
258
00:15:36,757 --> 00:15:38,050
Alex!
259
00:15:42,679 --> 00:15:44,806
Dear girl, how wonderful.
260
00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:48,060
-[Sparky] You're almost as tall as I am.
-Excuse me.
261
00:15:48,769 --> 00:15:50,395
You told me he wasn't going to be here.
262
00:15:50,479 --> 00:15:52,814
He told me he wasn't going to be here.
263
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:55,025
-I don't believe you.
-Ask him.
264
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:57,653
You know that we're-- shit.
265
00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:00,656
Ask me what? Hello, Greg.
266
00:16:00,781 --> 00:16:03,283
Come to give your old failed stepfather
a big hug?
267
00:16:03,367 --> 00:16:05,327
-Ask me what?
-Nothing.
268
00:16:07,371 --> 00:16:10,874
-You said she wasn't coming.
-I said she wasn't coming if you came.
269
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:13,168
-Nice.
-And you said?
270
00:16:13,293 --> 00:16:15,462
I said, "Oh, in that case,
I wasn't coming."
271
00:16:15,837 --> 00:16:18,006
Then, I called him back, and said
I changed my mind.
272
00:16:18,131 --> 00:16:20,425
Yes, a little addendum you neglected
to mention.
273
00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:23,428
If you were under 18,
I would have considered it relevant.
274
00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:28,016
Now, children, who is going
to leave first?
275
00:16:30,435 --> 00:16:32,020
Come on, Greg. I'll buy you a drink.
276
00:16:33,272 --> 00:16:35,065
You are such a prick.
277
00:16:36,149 --> 00:16:38,777
Dear boy, some of my best friends
are pricks.
278
00:16:39,152 --> 00:16:40,988
Some of your best pricks are friends.
279
00:16:41,863 --> 00:16:43,740
There was a time when your wit
was incisive,
280
00:16:44,866 --> 00:16:50,163
but that riposte was just a feeble jab
from a routed ex-champion.
281
00:16:51,456 --> 00:16:56,003
If you think I'm such a failure,
why do you keep on representing me?
282
00:16:56,878 --> 00:16:59,339
That's like asking a heroin addict
why he keeps shooting up.
283
00:17:00,132 --> 00:17:02,676
It's because he keeps hoping
for that first-time rush,
284
00:17:02,968 --> 00:17:05,971
that cherry high, even though
he knows he'll never get it again.
285
00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:09,933
He's hooked... and he keeps hoping.
286
00:17:11,351 --> 00:17:12,936
Watch out. I may surprise you.
287
00:17:13,228 --> 00:17:16,148
You watch out. I'm beyond surprises.
288
00:17:19,109 --> 00:17:21,403
[piano music playing]
289
00:17:21,695 --> 00:17:22,738
Excuse me.
290
00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:27,868
-[Curt] Leon!
-[Leon] No!
291
00:17:28,493 --> 00:17:30,329
[Curt] Stop for a minute?
At least let me--
292
00:17:30,412 --> 00:17:32,497
[Leon] Aw, stop it! It's over!
293
00:17:32,956 --> 00:17:35,125
[Curt] You cruel, graceless
son of a bitch!
294
00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:36,501
[Leon] I'm not going to argue with you.
295
00:17:36,585 --> 00:17:38,253
I want you out of this house
by tomorrow morning!
296
00:17:38,378 --> 00:17:40,130
-Sound familiar?
-[Leon] Now leave me alone!
297
00:17:40,213 --> 00:17:41,715
For God's sake, stop sniveling.
298
00:17:42,049 --> 00:17:45,093
Try to save yourself at least a lick
of self-respect!
299
00:17:47,721 --> 00:17:50,640
Was I right? Adorable.
300
00:17:54,269 --> 00:17:57,189
Snooping around for a 11:00 newsbreak?
301
00:18:04,821 --> 00:18:07,449
[Zach] I take it back. You're too much
of a cunt to be a prick.
302
00:18:08,283 --> 00:18:11,161
Don't say it, dear boy, write it.
303
00:18:19,419 --> 00:18:22,297
Not being able to write is like not being
able to screw.
304
00:18:22,506 --> 00:18:25,467
Well, maybe they sort of depend
on each other.
305
00:18:26,301 --> 00:18:29,471
-What the fuck does that mean?
-How the fuck do I know?
306
00:18:30,764 --> 00:18:33,809
I'm a bartender, not your psychiatrist.
307
00:18:34,226 --> 00:18:37,854
♪ The most beautiful girl in the world ♪
308
00:18:37,979 --> 00:18:39,731
♪ Picks my ties out ♪
309
00:18:39,898 --> 00:18:43,402
♪ Eats my candy drinks my brandy ♪
310
00:18:43,485 --> 00:18:46,488
♪ The most beautiful girl in the world ♪
311
00:18:48,865 --> 00:18:52,035
♪ The most beautiful star in the world ♪
312
00:18:52,327 --> 00:18:55,831
♪ Isn't Garbo isn't Dietrich ♪
313
00:18:55,914 --> 00:18:57,749
♪ But the sweet trick ♪
314
00:18:57,833 --> 00:19:01,962
♪ That will make me believe
It's a beautiful world ♪
315
00:19:02,671 --> 00:19:04,381
I really hoped when Molly moved in
316
00:19:04,548 --> 00:19:07,426
that we had a good chance
at a long-term relationship.
317
00:19:08,009 --> 00:19:13,640
♪ My romance doesn't have to have a moon ♪
318
00:19:13,765 --> 00:19:15,767
♪ In the sky ♪
319
00:19:15,892 --> 00:19:21,314
♪ My romance doesn't need a blue lagoon ♪
320
00:19:21,648 --> 00:19:23,692
♪ Standing by ♪
321
00:19:23,817 --> 00:19:26,695
♪ No month of May ♪
322
00:19:27,571 --> 00:19:31,116
♪ No twinkling star ♪
323
00:19:31,616 --> 00:19:34,578
♪ No hideaway ♪
324
00:19:35,745 --> 00:19:39,374
♪ No soft guitar ♪
325
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:44,379
♪ My romance doesn't need a castle ♪
326
00:19:47,549 --> 00:19:51,303
-Any idea what started it?
-Spontaneous combustion.
327
00:19:51,595 --> 00:19:54,556
-What's that?
-The inevitable consequence
328
00:19:54,764 --> 00:19:57,601
of excessive vicissitude.
329
00:19:58,977 --> 00:20:01,229
-What's that?
-Pressure.
330
00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:03,231
Well, come on, explain.
331
00:20:04,733 --> 00:20:08,612
Two people, who live an inharmonious
existence together
332
00:20:08,737 --> 00:20:10,906
eventually arrive at a point
333
00:20:11,156 --> 00:20:13,950
where the pressure is so great,
somebody has to give.
334
00:20:14,743 --> 00:20:17,078
Unless you bleed off a certain amount
of steam
335
00:20:17,162 --> 00:20:19,664
in a pressure cooker, it will explode.
336
00:20:19,789 --> 00:20:20,916
Excessive vicissitude.
337
00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:23,335
When wood is too dry and the sun
is too hot--
338
00:20:23,502 --> 00:20:25,128
Spontaneous combustion.
339
00:20:25,879 --> 00:20:28,840
-Exactly.
-You were the wood, Molly was the sun.
340
00:20:29,799 --> 00:20:31,551
A felicitous analogy.
341
00:20:31,843 --> 00:20:34,346
-And what's that?
-Showing off with big words.
342
00:20:34,429 --> 00:20:35,472
Oh.
343
00:20:35,722 --> 00:20:39,684
It's a condition that occurs when I mix
a lack of self-esteem
344
00:20:39,851 --> 00:20:44,356
with an abundance of alcohol.
To be precise, a Banzai Sunset.
345
00:20:44,481 --> 00:20:46,775
-All right, Zach. Car keys.
-Uh-uh.
346
00:20:46,942 --> 00:20:51,321
Hey. Molly took my Jeep and my Mercedes
burned up with the fire.
347
00:20:51,613 --> 00:20:53,865
Give her some credit, will you?
Most of the women I know
348
00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:55,659
would have swung with the Mercedes.
349
00:20:56,368 --> 00:20:59,746
-It had a flat.
-Oh, it had a flat.
350
00:21:00,121 --> 00:21:02,082
When you pass out, where do I ship
the body?
351
00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:03,708
I don't know. So far it's a toss-up
352
00:21:03,792 --> 00:21:05,835
between your guest room
and the Ambassador Hotel.
353
00:21:06,086 --> 00:21:08,505
-My guest room is occupied.
-By whom?
354
00:21:08,672 --> 00:21:10,549
-By a guest.
-I don't believe you.
355
00:21:10,966 --> 00:21:13,009
You're just timid about tidying
up after a drunk.
356
00:21:13,635 --> 00:21:14,844
Tidying up is a cinch.
357
00:21:15,387 --> 00:21:17,514
It's replacing furniture, buying
new carpet,
358
00:21:18,056 --> 00:21:20,058
painting out the graffiti
is what makes me timid.
359
00:21:20,809 --> 00:21:23,019
What are you looking for?
360
00:21:23,770 --> 00:21:27,190
You hid the nuts. Didn't I reimburse you
for all that stuff?
361
00:21:27,607 --> 00:21:29,901
-Some things are not reimbursable.
-For instance?
362
00:21:30,235 --> 00:21:34,197
Like putting Krazy Glue on my dog's paws
and sticking him halfway up the wall.
363
00:21:34,656 --> 00:21:37,534
-I see your point.
-Now look it's not that I don't empathize.
364
00:21:37,701 --> 00:21:39,661
-What's that?
-Feel sorry for you.
365
00:21:40,245 --> 00:21:42,455
-Good night, Barney.
-Good night, Barney.
366
00:21:43,999 --> 00:21:45,458
-Hi, Barney.
-[Barney] Lonnie!
367
00:21:45,625 --> 00:21:46,543
Hey, girls.
368
00:21:46,626 --> 00:21:48,378
[woman] Hey, doll!
[woman 2] Hi, Lonnie!
369
00:21:48,878 --> 00:21:50,463
-What's the soup?
-Lentil.
370
00:21:51,548 --> 00:21:52,507
It was lentil last week.
371
00:21:52,757 --> 00:21:55,760
When the lentil's all gone, it'll be
something else.
372
00:21:56,595 --> 00:22:01,266
-I'd love a steak, but I shouldn't.
-Sure you should.
373
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,977
The kind of shape you're in you could eat
a whole cow.
374
00:22:10,650 --> 00:22:12,235
-[Zach] Good evening.
-Hi.
375
00:22:12,611 --> 00:22:15,989
-What's that you're playing?
-Something Cole Porter made up.
376
00:22:16,656 --> 00:22:19,200
-You play very well.
-Are you a professional musician?
377
00:22:19,326 --> 00:22:20,952
No. Are you?
378
00:22:22,245 --> 00:22:25,624
No. I don't know anything about music.
That kind of music, anyway.
379
00:22:26,499 --> 00:22:28,668
Can you play "Three Times A Lady"?
380
00:22:29,044 --> 00:22:31,129
I'm sorry. I'm not quite drunk enough yet.
381
00:22:31,671 --> 00:22:34,257
-Miss?
-Jones. Lonnie Jones.
382
00:22:34,549 --> 00:22:36,384
I'm Zach. Hi.
383
00:22:36,593 --> 00:22:37,594
If you're still here
384
00:22:37,677 --> 00:22:39,679
when I finish my steak and lentil soup,
Zach,
385
00:22:40,347 --> 00:22:42,182
we'll pick up this conversation
where it left off.
386
00:22:44,768 --> 00:22:47,520
♪ Have you met Miss Jones? ♪
387
00:22:48,188 --> 00:22:51,107
♪ Someone said as we shook hands ♪
388
00:22:51,650 --> 00:22:55,862
♪ She was just Miss Jones to me ♪
389
00:22:58,490 --> 00:23:01,284
♪ Then I said, "Miss Jones ♪
390
00:23:01,868 --> 00:23:04,663
♪ "You're a girl who understands ♪
391
00:23:05,121 --> 00:23:09,834
♪ I'm a man who must be free" ♪
392
00:23:11,044 --> 00:23:14,255
♪ And all at once I lost my breath ♪
393
00:23:15,090 --> 00:23:17,676
♪ And all at once was scared to death ♪
394
00:23:18,259 --> 00:23:23,723
♪ And all at once I owned the earth
And sky ♪
395
00:23:26,017 --> 00:23:28,520
♪ Now I met Miss Jones ♪
396
00:23:29,646 --> 00:23:34,359
♪ And we'll keep on meeting till we die ♪
397
00:23:34,526 --> 00:23:37,153
♪ Miss Jones and ♪
398
00:23:38,321 --> 00:23:40,657
♪ And I ♪
399
00:23:41,616 --> 00:23:43,284
[applause]
400
00:23:44,869 --> 00:23:47,997
[Zach] It wasn't-- It wasn't a derby,
because it...
401
00:23:49,582 --> 00:23:52,961
Hey, wait. Hey, wait, wait.
You promised to take me home.
402
00:23:53,378 --> 00:23:55,004
-I have.
-This is home?
403
00:23:55,588 --> 00:23:58,258
-This is where I work.
-This is where you...
404
00:23:59,342 --> 00:24:00,802
this...
405
00:24:01,594 --> 00:24:03,388
is where I live.
406
00:24:04,139 --> 00:24:08,101
-This is--
-Hey. I like where you live.
407
00:24:09,144 --> 00:24:13,773
It reflects a strong sense
of individuality and taste,
408
00:24:13,898 --> 00:24:16,735
-yet it's still feminine.
-You sound surprised.
409
00:24:17,944 --> 00:24:19,446
-Do I?
-Are you?
410
00:24:20,822 --> 00:24:23,658
-About what?
-That a woman can be an individual
411
00:24:23,742 --> 00:24:26,411
with taste and still be feminine?
412
00:24:27,537 --> 00:24:29,581
Oh! If I admitted surprise,
413
00:24:29,831 --> 00:24:32,041
would that mitigate against us
going to bed together?
414
00:24:32,834 --> 00:24:34,544
-It might.
-Then, for the record,
415
00:24:34,711 --> 00:24:38,923
I am the least surprised man
you have ever met in your entire life.
416
00:24:40,383 --> 00:24:42,844
I'll take your word for it. I was hoping
you would.
417
00:24:45,013 --> 00:24:47,056
-Wanna use the bathroom?
-Ladies first.
418
00:24:47,348 --> 00:24:50,894
-No chauvinism intended.
-Make yourself at home.
419
00:25:01,196 --> 00:25:03,239
[water dripping]
420
00:25:23,885 --> 00:25:25,553
[grunts]
421
00:25:36,773 --> 00:25:38,483
[toilet flushes]
422
00:25:42,111 --> 00:25:43,696
[grunts]
423
00:25:49,744 --> 00:25:52,163
[Lonnie] How do you feel about women
who are into bodybuilding?
424
00:25:54,541 --> 00:25:57,252
I don't know. I've never known a woman
who builds bodies.
425
00:26:10,682 --> 00:26:16,437
Look at it this way, Zach. I've worked
five years, 52 weeks a year,
426
00:26:17,230 --> 00:26:20,149
five days a week, three hours a day...
427
00:26:21,442 --> 00:26:24,904
to build this body. And for one night,
428
00:26:26,698 --> 00:26:30,243
this night, it's all yours.
429
00:26:36,416 --> 00:26:40,879
-How do you feel about that?
-Like Mrs. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
430
00:26:42,881 --> 00:26:44,465
I love your sense of humor.
431
00:26:45,592 --> 00:26:49,095
-And it loves you.
-Do you always try
432
00:26:49,304 --> 00:26:52,140
-and joke your way out of a tight spot?
-Not always.
433
00:26:52,307 --> 00:26:54,893
Occasionally, I'm too frightened to make
my lips move.
434
00:26:55,184 --> 00:26:56,978
Hope you're not frightened now, Zach.
435
00:26:57,061 --> 00:26:59,689
I'm not, but fortunately my cock
is scared stiff.
436
00:27:00,607 --> 00:27:02,817
-Wonderful.
-I hope so.
437
00:27:05,111 --> 00:27:07,989
-Now just relax.
-Right.
438
00:27:12,952 --> 00:27:17,415
-And leave everything to Lonnie.
-You got it, Lonnie.
439
00:27:22,754 --> 00:27:26,466
-Let's get these shorts off.
-Oh, that's a good idea.
440
00:27:28,134 --> 00:27:29,385
[grunts]
441
00:27:29,886 --> 00:27:34,557
Listen, while you're down there,
would you mind getting the sock?
442
00:27:37,977 --> 00:27:39,479
Oh, shit!
443
00:27:39,687 --> 00:27:41,022
[phone drops]
444
00:27:43,024 --> 00:27:47,111
Oh, God! Thank you. Thank you, God!
445
00:27:47,570 --> 00:27:49,864
[woman] Okay, ladies. Get it on!
446
00:27:50,073 --> 00:27:54,911
[all screaming]
447
00:27:55,620 --> 00:27:57,830
♪ Right across the room ♪
448
00:27:58,873 --> 00:28:01,292
♪ Standing there ♪
449
00:28:04,712 --> 00:28:07,090
-Morning!
-[All] Good morning.
450
00:28:07,757 --> 00:28:10,218
[women laughing]
451
00:28:10,426 --> 00:28:12,011
Sorry I'm late.
452
00:28:13,012 --> 00:28:15,890
♪ Starin' a hole that cuts like a knife ♪
453
00:28:16,140 --> 00:28:18,643
♪ Baby, it's burning burning ♪
454
00:28:19,018 --> 00:28:20,853
♪ Skin deep ♪
455
00:28:20,979 --> 00:28:22,522
♪ To the bone ♪
456
00:28:22,730 --> 00:28:25,525
♪ Skin deep to the bone ♪
457
00:28:25,608 --> 00:28:26,985
♪ Skin deep ♪
458
00:28:38,830 --> 00:28:41,749
[dog barks]
459
00:29:01,436 --> 00:29:03,271
How'd you get in?
460
00:29:05,314 --> 00:29:08,109
Sorry everything's in such a mess.
It's the maid's day off.
461
00:29:08,234 --> 00:29:10,194
I'm not going to argue with you anymore,
Zach.
462
00:29:10,486 --> 00:29:12,280
You're dishonest and you're too good
with words.
463
00:29:12,447 --> 00:29:15,491
Hey, when have I ever been dishonest
with you?
464
00:29:15,742 --> 00:29:18,327
Oh, come on! You were dishonest with me
465
00:29:18,453 --> 00:29:20,371
from the time you decided you wanted
to fuck me!
466
00:29:21,622 --> 00:29:23,583
We were introduced. I said,
"How do you do?
467
00:29:23,708 --> 00:29:26,002
I wanna fuck you." What's dishonest
about that?
468
00:29:26,919 --> 00:29:29,172
Zach, in the six months
of living together,
469
00:29:29,380 --> 00:29:31,841
-we had a hundred arguments.
-I only counted 99.
470
00:29:31,924 --> 00:29:34,218
Okay. Out of those 99 arguments,
471
00:29:34,427 --> 00:29:36,804
was there ever one time that you thought
that I was right?
472
00:29:37,013 --> 00:29:38,890
-Honestly? No.
-What does that tell you?
473
00:29:39,182 --> 00:29:41,517
That you were wrong 99 times out of 100.
474
00:29:44,729 --> 00:29:47,106
Get out of my face, Zach, or I swear
to God I'm gonna kill you.
475
00:29:48,357 --> 00:29:50,818
-Can I ask you something first?
-No.
476
00:29:51,235 --> 00:29:53,362
What are you looking for?
477
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:55,490
My runes.
478
00:29:55,656 --> 00:29:57,700
-I'm sorry. You're what?
-Runes.
479
00:29:58,242 --> 00:30:00,661
I cast them for you once when we started
going together.
480
00:30:01,162 --> 00:30:03,539
-Runes?
-Viking runes!
481
00:30:04,874 --> 00:30:07,543
Little stones with runic symbols
that tell your fortune.
482
00:30:07,710 --> 00:30:09,003
You said they were bullshit,
483
00:30:09,087 --> 00:30:10,880
but the last time I consulted them,
I turned up Isa.
484
00:30:11,130 --> 00:30:13,132
Isa? Oh, well, what does that mean?
485
00:30:13,758 --> 00:30:15,259
Spiritual winter.
486
00:30:15,593 --> 00:30:17,970
-Oh.
-I'm spiritually frozen, Zach.
487
00:30:18,304 --> 00:30:21,182
So what? You thought a good fire
would help thaw you out?
488
00:30:21,808 --> 00:30:22,892
There you go.
489
00:30:25,603 --> 00:30:27,814
So where did you keep these runes?
490
00:30:29,732 --> 00:30:33,444
I put them in my bedside drawer.
I thought because they were stone,
491
00:30:35,238 --> 00:30:37,865
-They must have melted or something.
-You won't find them here.
492
00:30:38,074 --> 00:30:40,409
The bedroom's over there.
You're in the toilet.
493
00:30:41,869 --> 00:30:42,787
[laughs]
494
00:30:44,622 --> 00:30:46,749
Yeah, the story of my life.
495
00:30:48,376 --> 00:30:50,086
-Molly.
-Don't worry.
496
00:30:50,878 --> 00:30:53,256
I'll bring back the Jeep as soon
as I find a job.
497
00:30:55,716 --> 00:30:56,676
Shit!
498
00:30:57,844 --> 00:31:01,806
[piano music playing]
499
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,486
-You don't look great.
-I can't imagine why not.
500
00:31:17,196 --> 00:31:20,783
I spent the past 24 hours escaping
from a burning house,
501
00:31:20,867 --> 00:31:24,328
getting shitfaced and shacking up
with a muscle-bound sex maniac
502
00:31:24,745 --> 00:31:27,290
and doing three hours
of kamikaze aerobics.
503
00:31:28,833 --> 00:31:32,003
Speaking of burning houses,
they haven't said so in so many words,
504
00:31:32,128 --> 00:31:34,338
but... they're making noises
like they think
505
00:31:34,422 --> 00:31:36,340
the fire has been deliberately set.
506
00:31:37,049 --> 00:31:38,843
"They" being? The insurance company.
507
00:31:39,302 --> 00:31:41,971
-Based on?
-Information from the fire department.
508
00:31:42,180 --> 00:31:44,765
-What information?
-We'll know that when they tell us.
509
00:31:44,974 --> 00:31:48,102
Uh, another screwdriver for Mr. Hutton,
510
00:31:48,519 --> 00:31:51,564
and I'll have, uh, Jack Daniel's rocks.
511
00:31:56,402 --> 00:31:57,987
Sorry about Sparky.
512
00:32:00,323 --> 00:32:03,201
-What about Sparky?
-Oh, I thought you knew.
513
00:32:03,284 --> 00:32:05,578
-Oh, shit.
-It was on the morning news.
514
00:32:05,703 --> 00:32:07,038
I thought someone would have called you.
515
00:32:07,330 --> 00:32:08,998
Nobody knows I'm here but you.
516
00:32:09,665 --> 00:32:11,250
I'm sorry.
517
00:32:14,003 --> 00:32:15,254
Well, what was it, a heart?
518
00:32:16,881 --> 00:32:17,798
A suicide.
519
00:32:18,799 --> 00:32:20,426
Oh, God.
520
00:32:21,510 --> 00:32:23,721
Oh, God!
521
00:32:31,395 --> 00:32:32,730
I talked to him just a month ago.
522
00:32:33,439 --> 00:32:35,358
I told him. I wanted to apologize.
523
00:32:36,108 --> 00:32:38,694
-Apologize?
-For what, for Christ's sake?
524
00:32:39,820 --> 00:32:44,283
Oh, for letting him down, for the things
I said the last time I saw him.
525
00:32:45,785 --> 00:32:47,912
But he said, "Well, that's very big
of you, Zach.
526
00:32:48,913 --> 00:32:51,999
But I'm afraid it's too late.
You've cut me too deep."
527
00:32:56,087 --> 00:32:57,755
Did he have any family?
528
00:32:58,339 --> 00:33:03,344
No. Curt was the closest thing to family,
but...
529
00:33:03,886 --> 00:33:05,930
God, I wonder how he's taking it.
530
00:33:17,191 --> 00:33:19,360
I gotta get home
to the fucking loved ones.
531
00:33:20,736 --> 00:33:22,321
Give Bernice my regards.
532
00:33:38,004 --> 00:33:40,047
Uh, phone, please?
533
00:33:42,717 --> 00:33:44,385
[sighs]
534
00:33:46,554 --> 00:33:50,850
[indistinct chatter]
535
00:33:56,772 --> 00:33:59,650
[piano music playing]
536
00:34:08,534 --> 00:34:09,827
Thank you.
537
00:34:17,626 --> 00:34:20,963
-[Operator] What city, please?
-Uh, West Los Angeles.
538
00:34:21,047 --> 00:34:24,550
Alexandra Hutton on San Marino.
539
00:34:26,177 --> 00:34:29,055
Sorry. I have no listing for a Hutton
on San Marino.
540
00:34:29,388 --> 00:34:32,266
I show an A. Hutton on North Bristol.
541
00:34:32,516 --> 00:34:34,769
Uh, there are no Huttons
in West Los Angeles?
542
00:34:34,935 --> 00:34:36,979
-No, sir.
-Okay.
543
00:34:37,229 --> 00:34:38,856
Give me the number on Bristol.
544
00:34:39,482 --> 00:34:43,778
That number is 555-5657.
545
00:34:45,112 --> 00:34:47,406
-5657?
-Yes, sir.
546
00:34:48,908 --> 00:34:51,369
-Thank you.
-You're welcome, sir.
547
00:34:56,665 --> 00:34:59,251
Do you see that very beautiful young woman
over there in the turquoise?
548
00:34:59,627 --> 00:35:02,713
-The one in leather.
-Yeah. Find out what she's drinking
549
00:35:02,838 --> 00:35:05,091
and I'd like to order her another, okay?
550
00:35:05,883 --> 00:35:07,218
I approve.
551
00:35:17,269 --> 00:35:20,731
[phone line ringing]
552
00:35:29,824 --> 00:35:34,578
[woman] Hello. Hello? Hello.
Is anybody there?
553
00:35:35,621 --> 00:35:36,705
-Hello?
-Alex.
554
00:35:36,872 --> 00:35:39,667
-Who are you calling?
-Uh, Alexander Hutton.
555
00:35:39,915 --> 00:35:41,252
We've got a whole bunch of Huttons here,
556
00:35:41,419 --> 00:35:43,504
-but no Alexander.
-Sorry. Wrong number.
557
00:35:47,049 --> 00:35:48,509
What man?
558
00:36:11,115 --> 00:36:12,324
[woman] Operator, may I help you?
559
00:36:12,575 --> 00:36:14,577
Operator, would you connect
me with the men's shop?
560
00:36:14,869 --> 00:36:15,744
Thank you.
561
00:36:17,329 --> 00:36:19,874
-[man] Men's Shop, may I help you?
-Yes, uh, this is Zachary Hutton.
562
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,251
-Yes, Mr. Hutton.
-Yes. Would you send me over
563
00:36:22,376 --> 00:36:25,880
half a dozen jockey shorts, half a dozen
pairs of socks,
564
00:36:26,547 --> 00:36:28,549
three pairs of pajamas and a robe?
565
00:36:28,757 --> 00:36:31,260
-[man] Any particular color?
-Uh, usual colors.
566
00:36:31,343 --> 00:36:33,721
-And a pair of slippers.
-[man] Where shall I send them?
567
00:36:33,804 --> 00:36:36,056
-Yes, uh, Bungalow 11.
-[man] Bungalow 11?
568
00:36:36,182 --> 00:36:39,810
-Uh-huh. And I'll--
-[man] Sir?
569
00:36:40,728 --> 00:36:44,482
Yes. Look, um, I'll come by tomorrow,
570
00:36:44,690 --> 00:36:47,401
and I'll pick up some, um, some pants.
571
00:36:47,693 --> 00:36:50,237
[man] Yes, sir. Good to have you staying
at the hotel again.
572
00:36:50,321 --> 00:36:52,573
Yeah, well, it's great to be here.
573
00:37:04,043 --> 00:37:06,170
-[door slamming]
-[indistinct chatter]
574
00:37:06,295 --> 00:37:08,797
[woman] Good-bye! You don't understand.
It's over!
575
00:37:09,089 --> 00:37:10,674
-[man] Over?
-[woman] Yes!
576
00:37:11,050 --> 00:37:12,927
-[man] You listen to me!
-[woman] I'm not gonna listen!
577
00:37:13,177 --> 00:37:15,137
[man] You are gonna listen to me!
You are gonna talk to me,
578
00:37:15,346 --> 00:37:17,556
and you are gonna talk to me now!
579
00:37:17,723 --> 00:37:19,058
[woman screams]
580
00:37:19,350 --> 00:37:22,311
-[woman] You son of a bitch! Ow!
-[water flowing]
581
00:37:22,478 --> 00:37:24,813
-I've had it! Goodbye, Rick!
-[man] You get over here.
582
00:37:25,272 --> 00:37:26,941
Indistinct chatter
583
00:37:27,066 --> 00:37:28,776
-[man] Get out of there!
-Oh, shit.
584
00:37:28,984 --> 00:37:30,152
[woman] No!
585
00:37:30,277 --> 00:37:31,862
-Hey!
-[woman] Rick!
586
00:37:32,655 --> 00:37:36,742
[man] I am sick and tired of you picking
up guys always behind my back!
587
00:37:36,909 --> 00:37:39,453
[woman] Yeah? Let's talk about the
hot numbers that you pick up everywhere.
588
00:37:39,537 --> 00:37:41,956
[man] I pay them! It's different!
589
00:37:42,164 --> 00:37:44,917
-[woman] Oh, God!
-[man] I'm so sick of you!
590
00:37:45,084 --> 00:37:47,378
-[woman screams]
-[man] You're like a bitch!
591
00:37:48,337 --> 00:37:50,464
-[man] Come here! Come here!
-[woman] Stop it!
592
00:37:50,595 --> 00:37:52,216
-[man] I'll tell you something.
-[woman] Tell me.
593
00:37:52,341 --> 00:37:55,386
[man] I can't figure it right now,
but if I could, I'd tell you!
594
00:37:55,511 --> 00:37:57,388
[woman] Your brain is the size of a pea!
595
00:37:57,471 --> 00:37:59,265
-[man] Excuse me!
-[woman] That's it!
596
00:37:59,431 --> 00:38:01,100
Start breaking up the furniture,
you creep!
597
00:38:01,267 --> 00:38:02,560
[man] I'm not a creep. I'm a musician!
598
00:38:02,685 --> 00:38:04,812
-Operator.
-Yes, operator.
599
00:38:05,062 --> 00:38:07,523
This is Zach Hutton in Bungalow 11.
600
00:38:07,648 --> 00:38:11,151
Would you please call the people
in the apartment directly above me,
601
00:38:11,235 --> 00:38:14,572
and tell them to stop screaming
and yelling and breaking your furniture.
602
00:38:14,697 --> 00:38:17,908
-Are you sure they're breaking furniture?
-Yes! Listen.
603
00:38:18,534 --> 00:38:21,328
[objects crashing]
604
00:38:21,787 --> 00:38:24,248
-Okay?
-[operator] I'll call right away.
605
00:38:26,959 --> 00:38:28,502
[phone ringing]
606
00:38:29,044 --> 00:38:30,671
[man] What? How?
607
00:38:30,754 --> 00:38:35,092
Oh! Oh, the man down-fucking-stairs, eh?
608
00:38:35,426 --> 00:38:37,761
Well, thank you very fucking much!
609
00:38:38,012 --> 00:38:39,013
[phone slammed]
610
00:38:39,138 --> 00:38:42,057
[indistinct chatter]
611
00:38:42,391 --> 00:38:44,935
Downstairs to talk to this fucking man!
612
00:38:45,311 --> 00:38:47,354
[indistinct chatter]
613
00:38:47,730 --> 00:38:51,317
[doorbell buzzing]
614
00:38:57,531 --> 00:38:59,074
[man] Shut up! Open the door!
615
00:38:59,283 --> 00:39:00,826
I'm coming!
616
00:39:01,201 --> 00:39:03,329
[man] Calling up, getting me in trouble!
617
00:39:03,746 --> 00:39:05,205
-You!
-You!
618
00:39:06,165 --> 00:39:07,875
-What's with you, man?
-Wait a goddamn minute!
619
00:39:08,042 --> 00:39:09,293
Who the fuck are you?
620
00:39:09,376 --> 00:39:11,086
-You hit on my old lady.
-I want you out!
621
00:39:11,170 --> 00:39:14,173
-What are you blaming him for?
-You know fucking well why.
622
00:39:14,465 --> 00:39:17,551
You said I'm always coming on to guys
the minute your back is turned.
623
00:39:17,676 --> 00:39:18,969
Well, you're right.
624
00:39:19,136 --> 00:39:22,389
I pick up guys all the time, whenever
I get the chance!
625
00:39:22,723 --> 00:39:24,099
-And you wanna know why?
-Why?
626
00:39:24,391 --> 00:39:26,352
Because you are a-- a boring--
627
00:39:26,894 --> 00:39:28,395
-Arrogant.
-arrogant!
628
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:30,397
-Sanctimonious.
-Sanctimonious!
629
00:39:30,522 --> 00:39:31,440
Cocksucker.
630
00:39:31,565 --> 00:39:32,941
-Oh, you little--
-Ow! Jesus!
631
00:39:33,275 --> 00:39:35,319
I picked him up, Rick!
632
00:39:35,527 --> 00:39:36,779
Hey!
633
00:39:40,366 --> 00:39:42,076
Hey, turns out great, don't it?
634
00:39:42,701 --> 00:39:44,995
While you're screwing him, I'll move out.
635
00:39:46,205 --> 00:39:48,248
Oh, I like that.
636
00:39:50,542 --> 00:39:52,544
[clears throat]
637
00:39:53,796 --> 00:39:55,214
[sighs]
638
00:39:55,923 --> 00:39:57,508
Don't be stupid.
639
00:39:58,676 --> 00:40:00,678
Hey, don't panic, you little wanker.
640
00:40:01,428 --> 00:40:03,639
I'll pack real fast.
641
00:40:04,306 --> 00:40:05,182
Ta.
642
00:40:09,436 --> 00:40:10,562
Oh, God.
643
00:40:11,647 --> 00:40:13,357
-Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
-It's okay.
644
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,734
Hey, wait, wait, wait a minute. Hang on.
645
00:40:17,695 --> 00:40:18,946
Don't go back up there.
646
00:40:19,113 --> 00:40:21,657
No, I'll just-- I'll just go take a walk.
647
00:40:21,740 --> 00:40:24,743
No, no. You take a seat and relax.
648
00:40:24,868 --> 00:40:26,954
Give him time to get out. Okay? Come on,
sit down.
649
00:40:27,204 --> 00:40:29,707
-Don't be nice to me, please.
-Okay, I won't.
650
00:40:30,833 --> 00:40:32,459
-Would you like a drink?
-No, thanks.
651
00:40:34,461 --> 00:40:37,005
Look. I-- I've caused you enough trouble.
I really think I should leave--
652
00:40:37,089 --> 00:40:40,259
No, you shouldn't. Now, come on.
It's not your fault.
653
00:40:41,135 --> 00:40:43,887
Even if I did buy you a drink
654
00:40:43,971 --> 00:40:47,224
because we had a kind of mutual exchange
655
00:40:47,307 --> 00:40:48,726
across a crowded room,
656
00:40:48,892 --> 00:40:51,478
that guy had no business beating
you up like that.
657
00:40:51,687 --> 00:40:54,356
-Oh, he didn't exactly--
-Who is he? What does he do?
658
00:40:55,357 --> 00:40:58,444
Uh, Rick Curry, he's the lead guitarist
for the Moon Rocks.
659
00:40:59,903 --> 00:41:00,779
Naturally.
660
00:41:01,405 --> 00:41:02,448
Why naturally?
661
00:41:02,573 --> 00:41:04,116
Because rock groups like that,
662
00:41:04,241 --> 00:41:08,203
and lead guitarists like Rick
are an unnatural phenomenon,
663
00:41:08,287 --> 00:41:10,789
put on this earth, I suspect,
to test my reality.
664
00:41:10,873 --> 00:41:12,337
I don't know how I could have missed it.
665
00:41:13,125 --> 00:41:15,419
By the way, I'm Zach Hutton.
666
00:41:15,711 --> 00:41:17,463
How do you do. Amy McKenna.
667
00:41:17,546 --> 00:41:18,547
Amy.
668
00:41:18,922 --> 00:41:21,592
Well, I'm sorry we had to meet like this,
669
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,720
but it's better than not meeting at all,
I hope.
670
00:41:26,096 --> 00:41:30,559
-So, what do you do, Zach?
-I write and, um,
671
00:41:31,185 --> 00:41:33,520
occasionally I wear orange and yellow
pajamas.
672
00:41:33,729 --> 00:41:37,524
Usually under a robe. I'll be right back.
Don't go away.
673
00:41:39,693 --> 00:41:41,779
[piano music playing]
674
00:41:51,789 --> 00:41:53,624
[Rick] Amy, love, fuck you!
675
00:41:53,874 --> 00:41:54,875
[door slamming]
676
00:41:58,879 --> 00:42:00,839
-Amy?
-Yeah?
677
00:42:03,217 --> 00:42:04,134
Where's your home?
678
00:42:05,761 --> 00:42:07,805
My home? Um...
679
00:42:08,305 --> 00:42:10,349
well, I was working in Seattle
when I met Rick.
680
00:42:12,059 --> 00:42:13,268
He's got a house in New Jersey,
681
00:42:13,435 --> 00:42:15,020
-but we travel a lot.
-Mm-hm.
682
00:42:15,187 --> 00:42:18,482
Um, originally I'm from New Orleans.
683
00:42:18,774 --> 00:42:19,858
New Orleans?
684
00:42:20,373 --> 00:42:21,902
♪ Do you know what it means ♪
685
00:42:21,985 --> 00:42:23,529
♪ To miss New Orleans ♪
686
00:42:23,612 --> 00:42:24,905
Do you know that song?
687
00:42:25,030 --> 00:42:26,865
Yeah. My father loves jazz.
688
00:42:28,826 --> 00:42:30,702
How does he feel about the Moon Rock?
689
00:42:31,328 --> 00:42:35,666
Um, he's never met him. I don't think
he'd like him.
690
00:42:35,958 --> 00:42:40,420
-So where do you come from, Zach?
-Uh, geographically or emotionally?
691
00:42:40,838 --> 00:42:41,755
Both.
692
00:42:42,673 --> 00:42:45,759
Well, I was born in Philadelphia,
but I come from New Orleans.
693
00:42:46,134 --> 00:42:48,262
-You like jazz?
-Oh, I love it.
694
00:42:49,763 --> 00:42:53,141
-But you prefer heavy metal.
-No, I prefer good music.
695
00:42:53,350 --> 00:42:55,435
Well, that eliminates heavy metal.
696
00:42:55,519 --> 00:42:57,855
-I love good heavy metal.
-Oh, really? That's impossible.
697
00:42:57,980 --> 00:43:00,315
That's like saying,
"I love good root canal."
698
00:43:00,482 --> 00:43:01,358
[laughing]
699
00:43:01,650 --> 00:43:02,985
You sound like my father.
700
00:43:03,986 --> 00:43:07,030
Oh, no, I know. Sometimes that can be
a major handicap.
701
00:43:07,865 --> 00:43:08,824
What times?
702
00:43:09,741 --> 00:43:11,285
Well, sounding like a father
703
00:43:11,368 --> 00:43:15,747
when I'm trying to impress a young
female under 22?
704
00:43:17,082 --> 00:43:17,958
Twenty-five.
705
00:43:18,041 --> 00:43:19,668
Oh, especially those times, yeah.
706
00:43:20,419 --> 00:43:21,795
Well, you could lie.
707
00:43:22,921 --> 00:43:25,173
Then I wouldn't know if it was me
or the lie.
708
00:43:25,340 --> 00:43:27,509
And sooner or later I'd have to start
lying about my age.
709
00:43:27,759 --> 00:43:31,388
Oh, come on. How old are you?
You couldn't be more than 35.
710
00:43:32,014 --> 00:43:33,849
Close. I'm 33.
711
00:43:42,232 --> 00:43:43,775
-Well, good night, Zach.
-Good night.
712
00:43:44,067 --> 00:43:45,861
Thanks for everything. You were terrific.
713
00:43:48,614 --> 00:43:50,282
[music playing]
714
00:44:01,501 --> 00:44:02,836
[sighs]
715
00:44:06,506 --> 00:44:08,508
[classical music playing]
716
00:44:24,316 --> 00:44:25,275
[woman] Operator.
717
00:44:25,359 --> 00:44:28,070
Yes, operator. This is Mr. Hutton
in Bungalow 11.
718
00:44:28,487 --> 00:44:31,114
Would you please call the apartment
directly above me?
719
00:44:31,281 --> 00:44:32,532
Do you know who's in that room?
720
00:44:32,824 --> 00:44:35,786
Mm, I believe Miss Amy McKenna.
721
00:44:37,955 --> 00:44:39,957
[phone rings]
722
00:44:41,333 --> 00:44:43,377
-Hello.
-[Zach] Tchaikovsky?
723
00:44:43,543 --> 00:44:45,504
-What?
-You're playing Tchaikovsky.
724
00:44:47,005 --> 00:44:49,591
Oh. It's the TV.
725
00:44:49,675 --> 00:44:51,718
I didn't realize it was that loud.
726
00:44:53,178 --> 00:44:58,892
-Do you like the ballet?
-I like this ballet. I like the music.
727
00:44:59,851 --> 00:45:01,561
I'm sorry if I woke you up.
728
00:45:01,770 --> 00:45:03,146
You didn't.
729
00:45:03,397 --> 00:45:04,773
Couldn't sleep?
730
00:45:05,107 --> 00:45:06,733
No.
731
00:45:07,401 --> 00:45:10,696
-Obviously you couldn't either.
-No.
732
00:45:12,990 --> 00:45:15,951
-Would you like me to come up?
-Yes.
733
00:45:18,328 --> 00:45:19,746
[door slams]
734
00:45:32,592 --> 00:45:34,052
-Zach.
-Hm.
735
00:45:34,177 --> 00:45:37,806
-Would you mind wearing something?
-I am wearing something.
736
00:45:38,015 --> 00:45:39,433
-You are?
-Yeah.
737
00:45:39,641 --> 00:45:41,685
Oh, you-- you mean-- oh, no--
738
00:45:41,893 --> 00:45:43,020
Yes, do you--? Do you have a?
739
00:45:43,103 --> 00:45:45,814
No, I-- see, there was a-- a fire.
740
00:45:46,523 --> 00:45:50,110
And I lost everything. They were probably
the first to go.
741
00:45:50,277 --> 00:45:52,362
It's just that, you know, these days
it's so--
742
00:45:52,487 --> 00:45:53,613
I know you can't be too careful.
743
00:45:53,697 --> 00:45:55,699
-I-- I really want you.
-Oh, God!
744
00:45:56,825 --> 00:45:58,201
I really want you too.
745
00:45:58,285 --> 00:46:00,454
-It's just we can't unless--
-I know, I know.
746
00:46:00,620 --> 00:46:01,997
I could-- do you want me to go to--
747
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:04,458
I could maybe-- you don't--
Do you have any?
748
00:46:04,666 --> 00:46:06,209
-Oh, you wouldn't mind?
-Are you kidding?
749
00:46:06,626 --> 00:46:07,794
Oh, God, no!
750
00:46:08,170 --> 00:46:09,755
-They're Rick's.
-They're Rick's?
751
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:13,008
Uh, that's all right. Um,
I'll reimburse him.
752
00:46:14,426 --> 00:46:15,594
Yeah?
753
00:46:16,678 --> 00:46:17,846
-Where in the--
-Ow!
754
00:46:18,013 --> 00:46:19,347
-Sorry.
-That's all right.
755
00:46:21,141 --> 00:46:22,267
We need to get-- are they in--
756
00:46:22,392 --> 00:46:23,810
This drawer right here.
757
00:46:25,854 --> 00:46:27,814
God! Are they in a box?
758
00:46:28,023 --> 00:46:29,816
Yeah. They should be right on top.
759
00:46:30,150 --> 00:46:31,610
That's not it.
760
00:46:32,277 --> 00:46:33,779
Okay.
All right.
761
00:46:35,447 --> 00:46:37,032
[Zach] Oh, my God!
762
00:46:37,115 --> 00:46:39,707
I can't see what-- what I'm doing here.
763
00:46:39,782 --> 00:46:41,957
-[Amy] I'll turn on the light.
-[Zach] No, no, no that's all right.
764
00:46:42,032 --> 00:46:43,752
[Zach] Where's the bathroom?
may be that will be better.
765
00:46:43,832 --> 00:46:46,541
-[Amy] It's right over there.
-[Zach] I'll be right back. Oh, God.
766
00:46:46,625 --> 00:46:48,210
Ow! Goddamn thing!
767
00:46:49,086 --> 00:46:51,379
[Amy] I-- I don't know about those,
but don't be surprised,
768
00:46:51,505 --> 00:46:54,091
cause sometimes Rick's sexual taste
can get pretty kinky.
769
00:46:56,718 --> 00:46:57,969
[Zach] It says in the instructions
770
00:46:58,053 --> 00:47:00,180
that it's been treated with an ancient
Chinese herb,
771
00:47:00,305 --> 00:47:02,057
guaranteed to prolong erection.
772
00:47:03,517 --> 00:47:05,268
[Zach] Oh, my God!
773
00:47:05,435 --> 00:47:07,187
[Amy] What's wrong?
774
00:47:07,604 --> 00:47:09,439
[Zach] You're not gonna believe this.
775
00:47:12,776 --> 00:47:15,028
[Amy] Oh, my God!
776
00:47:24,079 --> 00:47:25,080
[thud]
777
00:47:26,706 --> 00:47:28,667
Oh, my God!
778
00:47:29,584 --> 00:47:31,336
[Zach] Truly amazing.
779
00:47:34,172 --> 00:47:35,465
-[door opens]
-[Rick] Amy?
780
00:47:35,757 --> 00:47:37,801
[Amy] Oh, my God. It's Rick!
[Zach] What was that?
781
00:47:38,218 --> 00:47:39,970
[Zach] Rick?
[Amy] Quick! In the closet!
782
00:47:40,387 --> 00:47:42,889
-Go! No, no, this way!
-[Zach] Where?
783
00:47:43,140 --> 00:47:45,350
-[Amy] Right here.
-[Rick] Amy?
784
00:47:45,517 --> 00:47:46,476
[door opens]
785
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,103
[Rick] Turn on the lights, Amy.
786
00:47:51,273 --> 00:47:53,400
Amy. Amy.
787
00:47:55,193 --> 00:47:56,903
Rick, you scared the hell out of me.
788
00:47:57,821 --> 00:48:00,490
I'm sorry. I, uh-- I didn't mean to.
789
00:48:02,701 --> 00:48:05,662
I, uh, came back to apologize.
790
00:48:06,246 --> 00:48:08,248
-Too late.
-I--
791
00:48:08,540 --> 00:48:10,208
-What's this?
-What?
792
00:48:11,668 --> 00:48:12,836
-This.
-What?
793
00:48:13,044 --> 00:48:14,129
This!
794
00:48:14,588 --> 00:48:17,299
Rick, if you wanna talk,
we'll talk tomorrow.
795
00:48:19,009 --> 00:48:22,137
-No, I, uh-- I don't wanna talk, love.
-No, Rick.
796
00:48:22,262 --> 00:48:24,723
I thought maybe we could make a little
bit of love.
797
00:48:24,931 --> 00:48:26,057
-No! No.
-Fine!
798
00:48:26,808 --> 00:48:28,351
-Jesus!
-Where are you going?
799
00:48:29,561 --> 00:48:31,771
I forgot my mousse.
800
00:48:33,356 --> 00:48:35,108
-What the hell?
-What?
801
00:48:35,442 --> 00:48:37,485
-[Rick] What's this?
-What?
802
00:48:38,486 --> 00:48:41,031
-This.
-Oh, Rick!
803
00:48:41,281 --> 00:48:44,034
Amy, it was gonna be a surprise.
804
00:48:45,660 --> 00:48:47,412
They were in that-- that drawer!
805
00:48:47,495 --> 00:48:49,331
Oh what, you think I took them out and--
806
00:48:49,414 --> 00:48:50,290
No! No!
807
00:48:50,373 --> 00:48:52,500
I think they got up all by themselves.
808
00:48:52,584 --> 00:48:54,252
Rick, they're your stupid rubbers!
809
00:48:54,336 --> 00:48:56,296
-Just take them and get out!
-All right!
810
00:48:56,463 --> 00:48:59,132
All right! Fine!
811
00:48:59,841 --> 00:49:02,177
Fine, but you know,
812
00:49:02,385 --> 00:49:04,971
you don't know what you're missing.
813
00:49:05,805 --> 00:49:06,681
Yeah!
814
00:49:08,808 --> 00:49:09,726
[door closes]
815
00:49:09,893 --> 00:49:10,936
Rick?
816
00:49:17,108 --> 00:49:18,610
[door opens]
817
00:49:19,527 --> 00:49:20,779
-[Amy] That's amazing.
-[Zach] I know.
818
00:49:20,862 --> 00:49:23,448
I haven't had one that lasted
this long since I was 12.
819
00:49:24,658 --> 00:49:26,243
[Amy] No wonder Rick wanted to invest.
820
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:29,871
[Zach] I feel like I'm in the porno
version of The Red Shoes.
821
00:49:30,288 --> 00:49:31,373
[thud]
822
00:49:31,706 --> 00:49:34,292
[Rick] Oh, my leg. Damn that hurts.
823
00:49:34,876 --> 00:49:37,087
-[door closes]
-Oh, God, that hurt!
824
00:49:38,588 --> 00:49:40,548
-Hey, honey!
-[Amy screams]
825
00:49:41,091 --> 00:49:42,384
[Rick] No, no, it's me!
826
00:49:42,467 --> 00:49:44,511
[Amy] I know it's you! Get out of here!
827
00:49:44,594 --> 00:49:45,512
[Rick] Why, love?
828
00:49:45,595 --> 00:49:47,097
How'd you know it was me?
It's dark in here.
829
00:49:47,222 --> 00:49:48,515
[Amy] Oh, God, there's nobody else--
830
00:49:48,682 --> 00:49:49,849
-[Rick] What?
-[Amy] No, Rick!
831
00:49:49,975 --> 00:49:52,102
[indistinct chatter]
832
00:49:52,310 --> 00:49:53,228
[Rick] Shut up!
833
00:49:55,563 --> 00:49:56,439
[thuds]
834
00:49:56,523 --> 00:49:58,149
-[Amy] Rick!
-[Rick] Shut up!
835
00:50:02,570 --> 00:50:03,822
[door opens]
836
00:50:04,489 --> 00:50:06,157
[screaming]
837
00:50:06,449 --> 00:50:07,450
[grunting]
838
00:50:07,534 --> 00:50:08,410
[Amy] No.
839
00:50:08,910 --> 00:50:10,829
[Amy] Rick, get out!
840
00:50:11,079 --> 00:50:12,747
No, stop it!
841
00:50:13,164 --> 00:50:15,583
[Rick grunting]
842
00:50:16,543 --> 00:50:17,919
[Amy] Stop it! Don't!
843
00:50:18,128 --> 00:50:19,462
[Amy yells]
844
00:50:20,839 --> 00:50:23,591
[Rick and Zach yelling]
845
00:50:23,925 --> 00:50:25,051
[thud]
846
00:50:25,135 --> 00:50:26,511
[Amy screams]
847
00:50:28,013 --> 00:50:29,806
[phone ringing]
848
00:50:31,433 --> 00:50:32,392
[sighs]
849
00:50:33,852 --> 00:50:34,769
[ringing]
850
00:50:38,356 --> 00:50:39,524
-Hello.
-Yeah.
851
00:50:40,442 --> 00:50:41,776
-Yeah.
-No.
852
00:50:44,279 --> 00:50:45,572
What jail?
853
00:50:47,115 --> 00:50:49,367
What did they arrest you for?
854
00:50:49,534 --> 00:50:51,995
All right. I'll be right over.
855
00:50:55,290 --> 00:50:56,916
-What's wrong?
-Zach's been arrested.
856
00:50:57,292 --> 00:50:58,168
For what?
857
00:50:59,502 --> 00:51:00,462
Cockfighting.
858
00:51:01,254 --> 00:51:02,464
[groans]
859
00:51:06,176 --> 00:51:10,722
[man] I never had the privilege
of meeting Leon Sparks.
860
00:51:11,765 --> 00:51:13,641
Or Sparky,
861
00:51:14,351 --> 00:51:18,271
as he was affectionately known throughout
the film community.
862
00:51:19,522 --> 00:51:22,567
But his reputation for kindness,
863
00:51:23,485 --> 00:51:26,863
friendship, creating excellence
864
00:51:27,864 --> 00:51:29,199
was legend.
865
00:51:31,201 --> 00:51:33,870
-Alex.
-Hello, Zach.
866
00:51:34,454 --> 00:51:35,747
You changed your telephone number.
867
00:51:37,697 --> 00:51:39,334
Look. I wanna talk to you,
for Christ's sake.
868
00:51:39,417 --> 00:51:40,293
-Could we have dinner?
-No.
869
00:51:40,377 --> 00:51:41,711
Alex.
870
00:51:46,549 --> 00:51:49,469
I'm in trouble. I thought...
871
00:51:50,887 --> 00:51:53,390
Could we just maybe go someplace
and talk?
872
00:51:53,515 --> 00:51:54,641
No.
873
00:51:54,933 --> 00:51:56,935
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
874
00:51:57,602 --> 00:51:59,938
Sorry it wasn't nice seeing you again,
Zach.
875
00:52:07,987 --> 00:52:09,739
-You ready?
-Anytime you are.
876
00:52:09,864 --> 00:52:10,865
[horn honks]
877
00:52:12,909 --> 00:52:14,702
If you feel like it, come by for dinner
tonight.
878
00:52:15,286 --> 00:52:16,454
Eight o'clock.
879
00:52:16,830 --> 00:52:18,164
Bye, Jake.
880
00:52:19,124 --> 00:52:20,333
Bye.
881
00:52:24,003 --> 00:52:25,422
[doorbell rings]
882
00:52:33,012 --> 00:52:34,139
Hello, Danny.
883
00:52:34,597 --> 00:52:35,765
Good evening, Mr. Hutton.
884
00:52:36,057 --> 00:52:37,767
-You're looking well.
-Thank you.
885
00:52:37,892 --> 00:52:39,394
They are in the living room.
886
00:52:39,477 --> 00:52:40,478
They?
887
00:52:41,729 --> 00:52:44,399
We thought we'd drive back through
Arizona, New Mexico.
888
00:52:44,524 --> 00:52:46,526
See that part of the country, and then...
889
00:52:46,943 --> 00:52:47,902
Hello.
890
00:52:48,820 --> 00:52:49,821
Zach.
891
00:52:50,530 --> 00:52:52,407
Zach, this is Rebecca Simms.
Zachary Hutton.
892
00:52:52,866 --> 00:52:55,201
-[Zach] Rebecca.
-How do you do?
893
00:52:55,618 --> 00:52:57,787
I'd do a lot better if I had a drink.
Danny?
894
00:52:58,037 --> 00:52:59,664
[Danny] Banzai Sunrise.
895
00:52:59,789 --> 00:53:01,749
-It pays to have roots.
-You remember Mama.
896
00:53:01,916 --> 00:53:02,876
Sure do.
897
00:53:03,334 --> 00:53:05,044
Hi, Marge, Harry.
898
00:53:05,503 --> 00:53:08,006
Hello, Zachary.
Who gave you the black eye?
899
00:53:08,173 --> 00:53:10,383
Why? Do you want to congratulate
him personally?
900
00:53:10,592 --> 00:53:12,135
No. A telegram will do it.
901
00:53:12,302 --> 00:53:13,261
[scoffs]
902
00:53:13,845 --> 00:53:15,722
She hasn't lost her twinkle.
903
00:53:17,932 --> 00:53:20,727
So, Becky, what? Are you Greg's main
squeeze?
904
00:53:21,019 --> 00:53:22,103
-Squeeze.
-Yes.
905
00:53:22,312 --> 00:53:23,980
Contemporary nomenclature, right, Greg?
906
00:53:24,355 --> 00:53:26,900
I've heard the expression. Never used it.
907
00:53:27,775 --> 00:53:30,904
Oh. Well, neither have I.
It was my first time.
908
00:53:32,071 --> 00:53:33,448
So how come, uh...
909
00:53:33,573 --> 00:53:34,616
I thought you were in school.
910
00:53:34,908 --> 00:53:36,993
-[Marge] Summer vacation.
-[Zach] Oh, of course.
911
00:53:39,287 --> 00:53:41,331
-How old are you now? Nineteen?
-Twenty.
912
00:53:42,707 --> 00:53:45,001
Oh. It goes by so bloody fast.
913
00:53:46,503 --> 00:53:47,629
Are you going to Brown?
914
00:53:48,379 --> 00:53:49,714
[panting]
915
00:53:50,465 --> 00:53:52,342
No, I quit Brown. I'm going to Juilliard.
916
00:53:52,675 --> 00:53:56,638
Juilliard. Well, how about--
That's what I want. Bless you.
917
00:53:56,971 --> 00:53:59,015
Greg is studying piano and composition.
918
00:53:59,557 --> 00:54:01,643
I'll be damned. Mm.
919
00:54:03,144 --> 00:54:04,896
I didn't know you were that interested
in music.
920
00:54:05,104 --> 00:54:06,856
Probably because you never thought to ask.
921
00:54:07,815 --> 00:54:09,526
That's not fair. But accurate.
922
00:54:10,276 --> 00:54:11,861
Fair doesn't count? Come on, Greg.
923
00:54:11,986 --> 00:54:14,197
You were only interested in rock 'n' roll,
like any kid your age.
924
00:54:14,447 --> 00:54:17,033
He never gave me a clue--
he never went near a piano,
925
00:54:17,158 --> 00:54:18,618
you know that. What, you want accurate?
926
00:54:19,118 --> 00:54:21,079
You certainly never took the time
to tell me.
927
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,499
Uh, I hate to use the argument,
but I was just a kid, Zach.
928
00:54:25,166 --> 00:54:26,834
Well, that's a kid's argument, Greg.
929
00:54:27,043 --> 00:54:28,545
Dinner is served.
930
00:54:29,212 --> 00:54:31,714
Let's see if we can get
through the salad course
931
00:54:31,881 --> 00:54:33,967
without a 15-yard penalty, hmm?
932
00:54:34,133 --> 00:54:35,134
[dogs barks]
933
00:54:35,677 --> 00:54:37,428
[Alex] Zach would rather play
in a jazz band
934
00:54:37,512 --> 00:54:39,222
than write the great American novel.
935
00:54:39,681 --> 00:54:41,182
One does what one must.
936
00:54:41,975 --> 00:54:44,060
But you've already written one
of the great American novels.
937
00:54:44,394 --> 00:54:46,271
Hang Time is almost as great.
938
00:54:46,646 --> 00:54:48,273
If you play the piano as well
as you write,
939
00:54:48,398 --> 00:54:49,857
you're one hell of a musician.
940
00:54:50,191 --> 00:54:52,735
Confidentially, these days.
I'm a lot better piano player
941
00:54:52,819 --> 00:54:53,695
than I am a writer.
942
00:54:53,778 --> 00:54:54,654
Mm-hmm.
943
00:54:55,363 --> 00:54:58,324
I was only 15 and I saw
The Devil May Care six times.
944
00:54:58,408 --> 00:55:01,160
-No, really?
-Rebecca's a drama major at Brown.
945
00:55:01,452 --> 00:55:03,413
She just wrote and directed
her first play.
946
00:55:03,705 --> 00:55:04,581
Terrific.
947
00:55:05,081 --> 00:55:06,124
No, it wasn't.
948
00:55:06,666 --> 00:55:09,002
But hopefully one profits
by one's mistakes.
949
00:55:09,419 --> 00:55:10,503
Hopefully.
950
00:55:11,087 --> 00:55:13,298
Did you? You must have made some mistakes.
951
00:55:13,715 --> 00:55:14,632
A few.
952
00:55:14,716 --> 00:55:17,010
[coughs]
953
00:55:17,635 --> 00:55:20,513
-For instance?
-Coming here for dinner.
954
00:55:21,389 --> 00:55:23,808
-I was being serious.
-So was Zach.
955
00:55:24,058 --> 00:55:26,394
What were you saying about being fair,
Zach?
956
00:55:26,603 --> 00:55:30,481
-Sorry, Becky.
-It's okay. Do me a favor, Zach?
957
00:55:30,982 --> 00:55:34,277
-Name it, Becky.
-Don't call me Becky. I fucking hate it.
958
00:55:36,070 --> 00:55:38,573
I'm truly sorry, Rebecca. It fucking
won't happen again.
959
00:55:38,656 --> 00:55:39,574
Mm-hmm.
960
00:55:40,450 --> 00:55:42,910
Either make more trips or get
me a bigger glass.
961
00:55:43,119 --> 00:55:44,537
Yes, sir.
962
00:55:45,997 --> 00:55:47,123
Mmm.
963
00:55:53,296 --> 00:55:54,172
Oh, hold it.
964
00:55:55,632 --> 00:55:57,216
-What is this?
-Brandy.
965
00:56:02,055 --> 00:56:03,431
Brandy's good too.
966
00:56:07,060 --> 00:56:10,813
Look, Marge, I know in the past
we've had our share of disagreements--
967
00:56:10,897 --> 00:56:11,898
-[barks]
-Oh, sorry.
968
00:56:12,065 --> 00:56:13,983
Almost sat on Harry.
969
00:56:16,277 --> 00:56:17,654
Can I get you something?
970
00:56:18,571 --> 00:56:19,447
A gun.
971
00:56:21,783 --> 00:56:22,950
I'll see what I can do.
972
00:56:46,599 --> 00:56:47,558
For what it's worth,
973
00:56:47,684 --> 00:56:50,186
I didn't expect it to be this kind
of an evening.
974
00:56:51,187 --> 00:56:52,313
I've had worse.
975
00:56:53,064 --> 00:56:55,566
The day we broke up was worse.
Not much worse, but...
976
00:56:58,319 --> 00:57:00,530
I don't think Greg has quite forgiven--
977
00:57:00,613 --> 00:57:04,617
Greg has really grown up to be
quite a young pain in the ass.
978
00:57:06,494 --> 00:57:09,205
Understandable when you consider that,
for about five years,
979
00:57:09,372 --> 00:57:11,958
you were his only male pain-in-the-ass
role model.
980
00:57:12,834 --> 00:57:14,544
How is Greg where I'm not concerned?
981
00:57:16,462 --> 00:57:19,006
A little pompous. Sometimes arrogant.
982
00:57:19,966 --> 00:57:24,929
Mostly... loving and pleasant
and talented.
983
00:57:25,054 --> 00:57:26,097
How talented?
984
00:57:28,808 --> 00:57:30,977
Greg, why don't you play something for us?
985
00:57:31,227 --> 00:57:32,311
Yes, do that.
986
00:57:33,771 --> 00:57:34,647
Okay.
987
00:57:36,482 --> 00:57:39,110
-What'll it be, Zach?
-How about a little Buddy Holly?
988
00:57:39,986 --> 00:57:41,529
How about a little Chopin?
989
00:57:42,613 --> 00:57:44,866
How about a little Cole Porter?
990
00:57:46,492 --> 00:57:48,995
[playing piano]
991
00:58:01,883 --> 00:58:02,967
Either I'm drunker than I thought
992
00:58:03,050 --> 00:58:04,927
or your son's better piano player
than I am.
993
00:58:20,401 --> 00:58:23,488
-You're sweet. And you're drunk.
-Me too.
994
00:58:26,115 --> 00:58:28,075
I know I've had too much to drink,
995
00:58:28,451 --> 00:58:31,287
because I'm feeling sorry
for you tonight, Zach.
996
00:58:31,454 --> 00:58:33,915
[exhales] Me too!
997
00:58:38,628 --> 00:58:41,130
[piano playing]
998
00:58:47,637 --> 00:58:51,849
I may regret this, but how can I help?
999
00:58:53,309 --> 00:58:54,936
How can you...
1000
00:58:57,522 --> 00:58:58,439
I don't know.
1001
00:59:00,858 --> 00:59:02,652
I thought a lot about you.
1002
00:59:03,861 --> 00:59:06,531
And then when I heard about Sparky,
I just felt
1003
00:59:06,614 --> 00:59:10,201
I... had to talk to you, to see you.
1004
00:59:10,326 --> 00:59:12,578
Hmm. Scared, huh?
1005
00:59:14,205 --> 00:59:15,081
Scared?
1006
00:59:16,833 --> 00:59:20,920
Scares me getting older, friends dying.
1007
00:59:21,712 --> 00:59:24,841
He knew he had some terrible cancer.
1008
00:59:24,924 --> 00:59:28,052
Yeah, I think that's probably
why he threw Curt out.
1009
00:59:28,845 --> 00:59:31,138
Curt. I saw him a couple weeks ago.
1010
00:59:33,057 --> 00:59:35,226
He'll never get over it. He's...
1011
00:59:36,394 --> 00:59:38,729
Sparky probably thought
he was being noble.
1012
00:59:38,855 --> 00:59:40,898
Yeah, well, he was being selfish.
1013
00:59:41,858 --> 00:59:43,818
You don't share 20 years with someone,
1014
00:59:43,901 --> 00:59:45,945
then find out you're gonna die
and not share that too.
1015
00:59:46,070 --> 00:59:48,197
Well, I think it's pretty easy for us
to stand--
1016
00:59:48,281 --> 00:59:50,908
Well, it's easy to stand here in judgment
1017
00:59:50,992 --> 00:59:53,244
when the guy we're talking about,
by his own admission,
1018
00:59:53,327 --> 00:59:56,038
was an egotistical, unsympathetic,
uncharitable--
1019
00:59:56,122 --> 00:59:59,125
-I know.
-coldhearted, narcissistic scoundrel.
1020
01:00:00,626 --> 01:00:01,961
Nobody's perfect.
1021
01:00:03,838 --> 01:00:04,964
Right.
1022
01:00:12,430 --> 01:00:13,639
I'm glad you feel that way,
1023
01:00:13,764 --> 01:00:17,768
because I was about to suggest
that we give it another try.
1024
01:00:20,354 --> 01:00:21,480
We?
1025
01:00:24,150 --> 01:00:26,402
Are you completely off your nut?
1026
01:00:27,862 --> 01:00:29,989
Don't beg, Alex. It doesn't suit you.
1027
01:00:32,033 --> 01:00:34,201
-Oh, Zach.
-Oh, what?
1028
01:00:37,079 --> 01:00:39,165
There are a lot of things about you
1029
01:00:39,457 --> 01:00:41,083
that I would highly recommend.
1030
01:00:42,501 --> 01:00:44,462
But you're never gonna last with anyone.
1031
01:00:48,174 --> 01:00:51,636
You may settle down for a while,
but then something will happen.
1032
01:00:52,470 --> 01:00:59,352
You'll get scared and you'll start
to look for some thing, some place,
1033
01:01:00,478 --> 01:01:04,023
some... young girl to save you.
1034
01:01:07,276 --> 01:01:08,861
You're on a merry-go-round, Zach.
1035
01:01:11,113 --> 01:01:13,783
And the brass ring is just a brass ring.
1036
01:01:15,326 --> 01:01:16,494
It solves nothing.
1037
01:01:17,870 --> 01:01:18,829
I'm doomed?
1038
01:01:22,917 --> 01:01:23,960
You're Zach.
1039
01:01:28,839 --> 01:01:30,091
And you like merry-go-rounds.
1040
01:01:43,437 --> 01:01:46,399
Okay, troops. Time to fold the tents.
1041
01:01:47,149 --> 01:01:48,317
Mmm.
1042
01:01:50,569 --> 01:01:53,531
Barney, how about just one more itty-bitty
one for the road?
1043
01:01:54,865 --> 01:01:57,118
-You know what your problem is, Zach?
-Yep.
1044
01:01:57,618 --> 01:01:59,787
-Keys, Zach.
-Nope.
1045
01:02:00,121 --> 01:02:02,456
-You drink too much.
-Yep.
1046
01:02:02,623 --> 01:02:05,668
-Keys, Zach.
-You're probably an alcoholic.
1047
01:02:06,335 --> 01:02:07,753
-Yep.
-Keys!
1048
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:10,214
But that's not my problem. You know
what my problem is?
1049
01:02:10,423 --> 01:02:12,049
I'm an addict.
1050
01:02:12,842 --> 01:02:16,137
-Drugs?
-Nope. Merry-go-rounds.
1051
01:02:16,345 --> 01:02:18,347
I am not gonna let you drive.
1052
01:02:18,639 --> 01:02:21,058
-You wanna go home with me, Zach?
-Yep.
1053
01:02:21,392 --> 01:02:22,560
All right. Let's go.
1054
01:02:23,269 --> 01:02:25,104
-Can't.
-Why not?
1055
01:02:25,229 --> 01:02:26,814
I'm just a kid.
1056
01:02:27,898 --> 01:02:29,567
-You're sweet.
-That too.
1057
01:02:30,484 --> 01:02:32,028
Give me a call if you change your mind.
1058
01:02:32,278 --> 01:02:35,740
I will give you a call even
if I don't change my mind, okay?
1059
01:02:36,198 --> 01:02:37,158
Okay.
1060
01:02:38,868 --> 01:02:41,245
-Good night, Barney.
-Sleep tight, sweetheart.
1061
01:02:41,370 --> 01:02:43,080
Good night, Miss Jones.
1062
01:02:46,751 --> 01:02:48,044
Oh, shit.
1063
01:02:48,711 --> 01:02:50,129
You drank me out of tequila.
1064
01:02:50,337 --> 01:02:53,049
It was a dirty job, Barney, but somebody
had to do it.
1065
01:02:53,215 --> 01:02:55,926
-Here.
-Thank you, Barney.
1066
01:02:58,637 --> 01:03:00,264
[coin clacking]
1067
01:03:03,601 --> 01:03:05,895
[melody music playing]
1068
01:03:09,065 --> 01:03:12,693
[phone rings]
1069
01:03:16,155 --> 01:03:17,782
-Hello?
-[Zach] Alex?
1070
01:03:18,741 --> 01:03:21,035
-Zach?
-I think so.
1071
01:03:25,081 --> 01:03:27,541
Oh, Zach, do you know what time it is?
1072
01:03:28,042 --> 01:03:30,419
Just a minute. Alex wants to know
what time it is--
1073
01:03:30,503 --> 01:03:32,880
Shh! Five after 2:00.
1074
01:03:33,506 --> 01:03:34,882
It's five after 2:00.
1075
01:03:35,883 --> 01:03:37,968
Besides being drunk, what else is wrong?
1076
01:03:38,844 --> 01:03:41,222
I forgot to ask you something
very important.
1077
01:03:42,431 --> 01:03:43,307
Yes?
1078
01:03:44,850 --> 01:03:46,102
What the hell was it?
1079
01:03:46,977 --> 01:03:49,980
-Oh, Zach, come on--
-No, no, no. I-- I-- I, re-- I remember.
1080
01:03:50,189 --> 01:03:51,148
Um, Alex...
1081
01:03:53,234 --> 01:03:55,611
Are you presently involved with anyone?
1082
01:04:00,324 --> 01:04:01,283
Yes.
1083
01:04:02,451 --> 01:04:03,327
Yes?
1084
01:04:03,994 --> 01:04:05,496
-Yes.
-Who?
1085
01:04:09,625 --> 01:04:12,169
His name is Jonas Mallard.
1086
01:04:13,295 --> 01:04:14,547
Sounds like a duck.
1087
01:04:15,714 --> 01:04:18,217
-Zach.
-Why wasn't he there tonight?
1088
01:04:21,220 --> 01:04:22,847
Because he's in New York on business.
1089
01:04:24,014 --> 01:04:25,099
Is it serious?
1090
01:04:27,143 --> 01:04:28,102
Yes.
1091
01:04:30,020 --> 01:04:31,063
Gonna get married?
1092
01:04:32,690 --> 01:04:33,941
We've talked about it.
1093
01:04:35,109 --> 01:04:38,863
I don't know whether you know it or not,
but it's bad luck to marry a duck.
1094
01:04:41,490 --> 01:04:43,117
Good night, Zach.
1095
01:04:44,076 --> 01:04:45,744
-Unless you're a duck.
-[thud]
1096
01:04:46,871 --> 01:04:49,498
Even then, it's no guarantee
it's gonna last. You know Barney?
1097
01:04:49,623 --> 01:04:51,417
Am I right? Are ducks monogamous?
1098
01:04:51,542 --> 01:04:55,796
-No. Swans are.
-This guy's a duck. That was Alex.
1099
01:04:56,130 --> 01:04:57,006
So I gathered.
1100
01:04:59,466 --> 01:05:02,011
Hey, Barney,
how about another one?
1101
01:05:04,221 --> 01:05:05,681
You know, of course, we're breaking
the law.
1102
01:05:05,806 --> 01:05:06,974
What "we"?
1103
01:05:07,391 --> 01:05:08,934
I got a mouse in my pocket.
1104
01:05:11,103 --> 01:05:11,979
We.
1105
01:05:15,524 --> 01:05:18,986
One thing's sure. Mice are not monogamous.
1106
01:05:19,111 --> 01:05:20,070
For sure.
1107
01:05:20,529 --> 01:05:23,866
-If they were, they'd be "monogomice."
-Yeah. I'll call a cab.
1108
01:05:24,366 --> 01:05:25,242
Okay.
1109
01:05:26,035 --> 01:05:28,746
I-- I don't go to hotels anymore.
1110
01:05:29,205 --> 01:05:32,917
I'm on their shit list.
So if your guest room is still occupied,
1111
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:37,880
I'll just curl up on the bar right here.
All right.
1112
01:05:44,261 --> 01:05:47,806
Okay, but no throwing up in the fish tank.
1113
01:05:48,057 --> 01:05:49,266
I cross my heart.
1114
01:05:50,184 --> 01:05:51,602
-Let's go.
-Barney?
1115
01:05:51,810 --> 01:05:54,146
-What?
-Carry me.
1116
01:05:54,813 --> 01:05:56,190
Oh, shit.
1117
01:05:56,982 --> 01:05:59,360
[Zach screams]
1118
01:06:07,117 --> 01:06:10,162
I'm blind! I can't see!
1119
01:06:10,871 --> 01:06:12,206
All right, all right.
1120
01:06:12,289 --> 01:06:14,708
How did you do-- what is-- what is that?
1121
01:06:14,917 --> 01:06:17,586
-It's a B-12.
-Do I need it?
1122
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:19,880
Did Custer need a bulletproof vest?
1123
01:06:20,172 --> 01:06:22,258
-[Zach grunts] Barney.
-All right. Easy. Easy.
1124
01:06:23,133 --> 01:06:24,009
[sobbing]
1125
01:06:24,927 --> 01:06:27,179
Okay, okay! God!
1126
01:06:27,388 --> 01:06:28,514
-Jeez!
-Okay.
1127
01:06:29,473 --> 01:06:32,226
-I gotta pee.
-Huh? Easy, easy. All right.
1128
01:06:32,434 --> 01:06:33,644
All right. Take it easy.
1129
01:06:36,021 --> 01:06:36,939
God!
1130
01:06:38,941 --> 01:06:41,026
Why did you wrap yourself in toilet paper?
1131
01:06:41,527 --> 01:06:42,945
[Zach] Because I was cold.
1132
01:06:47,032 --> 01:06:48,826
[Zach moans]
1133
01:06:52,204 --> 01:06:53,580
[moaning]
1134
01:06:56,959 --> 01:06:57,960
[panting]
1135
01:07:01,755 --> 01:07:03,757
I'm in a lot of trouble, doctor.
1136
01:07:05,259 --> 01:07:10,055
Frankly, I don't have the strength
or the courage to go on like this,
1137
01:07:10,139 --> 01:07:12,141
and even if I did, I wouldn't want to.
1138
01:07:14,685 --> 01:07:18,105
Every day, I get a little more depressed.
1139
01:07:19,648 --> 01:07:21,775
I get a little more desperate.
1140
01:07:23,235 --> 01:07:26,613
I feel like I'm worse off
than when I first started with you.
1141
01:07:27,031 --> 01:07:29,033
When you first started with me,
you were a mess.
1142
01:07:29,950 --> 01:07:30,909
[laughs]
1143
01:07:31,076 --> 01:07:33,495
I'm still a mess. I haven't changed.
1144
01:07:33,704 --> 01:07:36,123
Don't you know by now that changing
one's basic character
1145
01:07:36,206 --> 01:07:37,875
is next to impossible?
1146
01:07:38,459 --> 01:07:40,419
No. I don't know that.
1147
01:07:40,502 --> 01:07:42,212
Jesus, doctor if I thought
I couldn't change,
1148
01:07:42,293 --> 01:07:44,068
-I wouldn't come see you in first place.
-I didn't say--
1149
01:07:44,143 --> 01:07:46,425
-I didn't say you couldn't.
-You just said it was impossible!
1150
01:07:46,508 --> 01:07:49,345
-I said it was next to impossible.
-Well, shit, doctor.
1151
01:07:49,470 --> 01:07:51,555
"Next to" isn't that far removed.
1152
01:07:51,847 --> 01:07:53,766
If it were, there'd be no analysts.
1153
01:07:54,475 --> 01:07:57,728
Not an entirely unhappy prospect, doctor.
1154
01:07:59,897 --> 01:08:02,775
Did I ever tell you the story
about the frog and the scorpion?
1155
01:08:04,068 --> 01:08:04,985
No.
1156
01:08:06,612 --> 01:08:09,323
A scorpion who couldn't swim
asked the frog
1157
01:08:09,490 --> 01:08:11,408
to carry him across the river on his back.
1158
01:08:13,035 --> 01:08:14,912
The frog said, "Do you think I'm crazy?
1159
01:08:15,329 --> 01:08:17,748
Halfway across the river, you'll sting me
and I'll drown."
1160
01:08:18,415 --> 01:08:20,334
"That's not reasonable,"
said the scorpion.
1161
01:08:20,667 --> 01:08:23,754
"If I sting you and you drown,
I'll drown too."
1162
01:08:25,547 --> 01:08:28,509
Frog thought about it, said, "Climb on."
1163
01:08:29,551 --> 01:08:33,138
Halfway across the river,
the scorpion stung the frog.
1164
01:08:34,014 --> 01:08:36,767
And as the frog was drowning,
he said to the scorpion,
1165
01:08:37,643 --> 01:08:39,395
"But now you'll drown too."
1166
01:08:40,521 --> 01:08:42,606
The scorpion said, "Yes, I know."
1167
01:08:42,940 --> 01:08:44,817
"But that's not reasonable,"
said the frog.
1168
01:08:46,151 --> 01:08:49,988
And the scorpion replied,
"Reason has nothing to do with it.
1169
01:08:50,322 --> 01:08:53,242
I'm a scorpion. It's my character."
1170
01:08:57,996 --> 01:08:59,540
You know what I feel like telling you?
1171
01:08:59,873 --> 01:09:02,876
Yes. You feel like telling me
to go fuck myself.
1172
01:09:03,544 --> 01:09:06,588
And you probably will,
because that's your character.
1173
01:09:09,133 --> 01:09:11,260
See you next Tuesday.
1174
01:09:17,266 --> 01:09:18,517
[door slams]
1175
01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:24,648
[elevator bell dings]
1176
01:09:25,190 --> 01:09:27,609
[music playing]
1177
01:09:39,246 --> 01:09:42,166
[woman] The man was fabulous.
Absolutely fabulous.
1178
01:09:42,249 --> 01:09:44,251
I took one look at him,
and I just knew...
1179
01:09:45,294 --> 01:09:46,920
-Hi.
-Hi. You can go right in.
1180
01:09:47,004 --> 01:09:47,921
Thank you.
1181
01:09:48,255 --> 01:09:50,507
I got to go now. Okay.
1182
01:09:54,970 --> 01:09:57,389
-Can I help you?
-Uh, yeah.
1183
01:09:57,473 --> 01:10:00,350
I just happened to be in the building,
and I was intrigued
1184
01:10:00,434 --> 01:10:02,352
by the company name.
Is this the company name?
1185
01:10:02,686 --> 01:10:03,604
Yes, it is.
1186
01:10:03,687 --> 01:10:06,315
"Form 3, world's foremost fitness
and beauty program."
1187
01:10:06,398 --> 01:10:07,274
Mm-hmm
1188
01:10:07,441 --> 01:10:09,651
One of our clients lost 11 pounds
in three days
1189
01:10:09,776 --> 01:10:11,695
and was completely cured of his asthma.
1190
01:10:12,362 --> 01:10:13,947
-You take men?
-Mm-hmm.
1191
01:10:14,072 --> 01:10:15,991
Thirty-five percent of our clientele
are men.
1192
01:10:16,617 --> 01:10:17,868
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
1193
01:10:17,951 --> 01:10:20,787
Uh, you know, the, um-- the girl who just
came in--
1194
01:10:21,997 --> 01:10:23,081
Emily?
1195
01:10:23,540 --> 01:10:26,168
Emily, yes. She certainly didn't look
to be
1196
01:10:26,293 --> 01:10:28,795
lacking in the fitness or beauty
department.
1197
01:10:29,129 --> 01:10:30,797
Well, you should have seen
her six months ago.
1198
01:10:31,882 --> 01:10:34,259
-Really?
-The first herbal wrap is on the house.
1199
01:10:34,635 --> 01:10:36,470
-Look--
-And if you give me your name,
1200
01:10:36,553 --> 01:10:39,473
Molly can set you up right away
for your complimentary treatment.
1201
01:10:39,598 --> 01:10:41,183
-Wait.
-Hello, Zach.
1202
01:10:42,100 --> 01:10:44,228
-Molly.
-Isn't that special?
1203
01:10:44,311 --> 01:10:47,356
-You two know each other.
-God!
1204
01:10:48,607 --> 01:10:50,442
-What are you doing?
-Working.
1205
01:10:51,485 --> 01:10:53,237
Molly's our number one therapist.
1206
01:10:54,988 --> 01:10:59,368
-Terrific. How've you been?
-Angry.
1207
01:11:00,536 --> 01:11:02,329
-Molly, this is silly.
-What's that?
1208
01:11:02,412 --> 01:11:05,874
I don't need a complimentary herbal wrap
and electro-stimulation.
1209
01:11:05,958 --> 01:11:07,292
-Okay.
-I just--
1210
01:11:07,751 --> 01:11:10,254
-I happened to be in the building.
-But it's not silly, Zach.
1211
01:11:10,504 --> 01:11:12,422
-It's what I do now.
-I-- I didn't mean--
1212
01:11:12,506 --> 01:11:14,216
[Molly] I mean, it's how I make my living.
1213
01:11:14,341 --> 01:11:16,176
You know, I could've sued your ass off,
Zach.
1214
01:11:16,593 --> 01:11:20,013
But instead I decided to get a job.
You may not approve, but it pays the rent.
1215
01:11:20,097 --> 01:11:21,029
I approve, okay?
1216
01:11:21,104 --> 01:11:22,685
If you think it's silly,
what are you doing here?
1217
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:24,347
I guess, I'm getting a complimentary
herbal wrap--
1218
01:11:24,447 --> 01:11:28,105
-But if it's so silly--
-It's not, okay? Wrap me.
1219
01:11:28,647 --> 01:11:31,149
The silly little pads I've attached
to your problem areas
1220
01:11:31,275 --> 01:11:32,818
will make your muscles contract.
1221
01:11:33,110 --> 01:11:38,073
The more I increase the current...
the more your muscles will contract.
1222
01:11:38,407 --> 01:11:41,159
-Molly...
-For the first silly treatment,
1223
01:11:41,285 --> 01:11:43,036
it's not advisable to exceed plus-three.
1224
01:11:45,497 --> 01:11:47,624
God, I wish I didn't hate you so much,
Zach.
1225
01:11:47,833 --> 01:11:50,085
-M-- Molly?
-After ten silly treatments,
1226
01:11:50,210 --> 01:11:51,712
you should be able to handle plus-seven.
1227
01:11:52,296 --> 01:11:53,380
[machine buzzing]
1228
01:11:53,964 --> 01:11:55,340
[stuttering]
1229
01:11:55,966 --> 01:11:57,676
Why did you have to act like such a dick?
1230
01:11:57,801 --> 01:11:59,303
[Zach grunts]
1231
01:12:00,178 --> 01:12:01,847
Anything above plus-seven...
1232
01:12:03,390 --> 01:12:04,641
could be dangerous.
1233
01:12:04,975 --> 01:12:06,226
[Zach] Look, Molly.
1234
01:12:06,643 --> 01:12:08,562
[gasping]
1235
01:12:22,618 --> 01:12:23,785
Oh!
1236
01:12:28,165 --> 01:12:29,416
[screams]
1237
01:12:31,126 --> 01:12:32,169
Aah.
1238
01:12:35,255 --> 01:12:36,214
Oh!
1239
01:12:51,063 --> 01:12:52,898
[grunts]
1240
01:12:54,149 --> 01:12:55,108
Give me that!
1241
01:12:56,151 --> 01:12:59,112
[grunts]
1242
01:13:20,258 --> 01:13:21,760
Go fuck yourself!
1243
01:13:26,348 --> 01:13:29,267
[tires screeching]
1244
01:13:30,602 --> 01:13:31,687
[honks]
1245
01:13:32,354 --> 01:13:35,107
Hey! Jesus! Stop!
1246
01:13:35,982 --> 01:13:37,526
[honks]
1247
01:13:37,901 --> 01:13:40,570
[indistinct chatter]
1248
01:13:40,696 --> 01:13:42,614
Here. Yeah.
1249
01:13:46,201 --> 01:13:48,328
-How much?
-Two and a quarter.
1250
01:13:50,455 --> 01:13:51,915
Hey!
1251
01:13:53,875 --> 01:13:55,460
[horn honking]
1252
01:13:56,461 --> 01:13:58,255
[tires screeching]
1253
01:14:00,132 --> 01:14:03,093
[siren wailing]
1254
01:14:06,012 --> 01:14:07,973
-[tires screeching]
-[crash]
1255
01:14:09,057 --> 01:14:13,228
[siren wailing]
1256
01:14:14,813 --> 01:14:17,315
[indistinct chatter on police radio]
1257
01:14:17,858 --> 01:14:20,986
[Zach] All you got to do is drive down
Sunset, look at the billboard.
1258
01:14:21,695 --> 01:14:23,530
She's representing something called Shape.
1259
01:14:23,697 --> 01:14:26,700
Yeah, it's a magazine. We-- we represent
it as well.
1260
01:14:26,867 --> 01:14:28,994
I'm telling you, you will not believe
this woman.
1261
01:14:29,411 --> 01:14:31,163
Yeah, well, you know that magazine is--
1262
01:14:31,455 --> 01:14:34,583
is throwing a big party tonight
at the Century Plaza.
1263
01:14:34,708 --> 01:14:36,293
You probably got an invitation.
1264
01:14:36,376 --> 01:14:37,753
-You think so?
-Yeah.
1265
01:14:37,919 --> 01:14:39,755
-Oh, God!
-You all right?
1266
01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:41,173
Maybe I should have something to eat.
1267
01:14:41,298 --> 01:14:43,091
-Coffee?
-No, that's bad.
1268
01:14:43,175 --> 01:14:45,302
I-- okay. All right.
1269
01:14:46,344 --> 01:14:48,430
-[Jake] Goddamn it!
-What's the matter?
1270
01:14:48,638 --> 01:14:50,724
[Jake] I can never tie these fucking ties.
1271
01:14:50,974 --> 01:14:52,559
Oh, God. Stop complaining.
1272
01:14:52,726 --> 01:14:54,728
How many times a year
do you have to put on your tux?
1273
01:15:02,903 --> 01:15:05,155
-You know something, Bern?
-Yeah.
1274
01:15:06,448 --> 01:15:08,533
One of us is wearing the wrong clothes.
1275
01:15:10,786 --> 01:15:12,162
Which one?
1276
01:15:12,913 --> 01:15:18,126
The Shape black-tie party...
is at the Century Plaza tonight.
1277
01:15:19,127 --> 01:15:21,630
-Uh-huh.
-The Share costume ball
1278
01:15:21,880 --> 01:15:24,216
is at the Century Plaza next Friday night.
1279
01:15:25,550 --> 01:15:28,929
[indistinct chatter]
1280
01:15:38,021 --> 01:15:39,606
Nice costume.
1281
01:15:40,190 --> 01:15:42,108
[costume bells jangling]
1282
01:15:52,035 --> 01:15:54,079
Is the Shape Party in here?
1283
01:15:54,329 --> 01:15:56,164
[indistinct chatter]
1284
01:15:58,708 --> 01:16:01,211
-Aladdin?
-That's what he told me.
1285
01:16:03,046 --> 01:16:04,256
[chuckles]
1286
01:16:04,422 --> 01:16:07,634
Bern, he's gonna kill me. Bernice,
it is not funny.
1287
01:16:07,759 --> 01:16:08,718
Okay.
1288
01:16:09,052 --> 01:16:12,639
[laughing]
1289
01:16:27,737 --> 01:16:29,573
[laughing]
1290
01:16:31,116 --> 01:16:34,703
[jazz music playing]
1291
01:16:36,830 --> 01:16:38,456
Get me the fuck out of here.
1292
01:16:43,587 --> 01:16:45,297
Jake! Jake!
1293
01:16:46,006 --> 01:16:49,467
-You told me it was a costume party--
-where did you get--
1294
01:16:52,512 --> 01:16:54,222
[laughs]
1295
01:16:54,890 --> 01:16:55,932
Bernice, stop it.
1296
01:16:56,808 --> 01:16:58,435
-Look at the lamp.
-Look at the shoes!
1297
01:16:58,518 --> 01:17:00,061
[both laughing]
1298
01:17:00,145 --> 01:17:03,732
I'm sorry. Zach, I'm really sorry.
I tried to call you several times--
1299
01:17:03,815 --> 01:17:06,234
-Jake.
-Howard. How are you?
1300
01:17:06,443 --> 01:17:08,695
Howard, this is Zach Hutton.
1301
01:17:08,987 --> 01:17:11,114
Zach, this is Howard Simon.
He's your host.
1302
01:17:11,197 --> 01:17:12,407
Howdy, Howard.
1303
01:17:13,408 --> 01:17:17,162
I told Zach that it was
a-- a costume party.
1304
01:17:17,287 --> 01:17:18,705
[all laughing]
1305
01:17:18,788 --> 01:17:20,540
-I tried to call you.
-You're fired.
1306
01:17:20,624 --> 01:17:21,791
[laughs]
1307
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:23,293
Cheer up.
1308
01:17:29,758 --> 01:17:35,013
[All laughing]
1309
01:17:44,439 --> 01:17:48,360
Inside of about five minutes, I drank
14 glasses of champagne.
1310
01:17:48,693 --> 01:17:51,863
By the shank of the evening,
I was completely shit-faced.
1311
01:17:52,072 --> 01:17:53,156
[tooting]
1312
01:17:53,323 --> 01:17:54,950
Steamboat coming through. Excuse me.
1313
01:17:55,075 --> 01:17:55,992
And fearless.
1314
01:17:56,117 --> 01:17:57,077
[clears throat]
1315
01:17:59,496 --> 01:18:00,455
How do you do?
1316
01:18:01,289 --> 01:18:04,918
My name is Zachary Hutton, and my wish
is to fuck you.
1317
01:18:06,670 --> 01:18:08,004
[indistinct chatter]
1318
01:18:09,589 --> 01:18:13,009
[indistinct chatter]
1319
01:18:13,134 --> 01:18:15,595
I got to tell you guys. I just, I-- I must
1320
01:18:16,513 --> 01:18:21,685
[mumbling]
1321
01:18:27,899 --> 01:18:30,276
-So, what's the answer?
-[Barney] What's the question?
1322
01:18:30,527 --> 01:18:34,155
Can a man change his character
even if a scorpion can't?
1323
01:18:34,280 --> 01:18:36,992
Hmm, good question. What's the answer?
1324
01:18:37,117 --> 01:18:40,578
The answer is yes, providing you know
what your problem is.
1325
01:18:40,787 --> 01:18:43,039
I know what my problem is,
and I can't change it.
1326
01:18:43,456 --> 01:18:44,958
-Have you tried?
-No.
1327
01:18:45,041 --> 01:18:46,334
Don't you want to?
1328
01:18:46,459 --> 01:18:49,045
To be perfectly honest,
I haven't given it much thought.
1329
01:18:49,170 --> 01:18:50,672
Do you know why you don't want to?
1330
01:18:50,797 --> 01:18:52,340
I haven't the foggiest.
1331
01:18:52,465 --> 01:18:55,260
Because you don't know
what the alternative is.
1332
01:18:55,385 --> 01:18:58,013
-Oh, I see.
-I know my alternative.
1333
01:18:58,096 --> 01:19:03,518
No more young, healthy bodies
with beautiful, empty heads.
1334
01:19:03,810 --> 01:19:06,187
My salvation is a handsome,
1335
01:19:06,604 --> 01:19:11,067
experienced, healthy middle-aged woman
who's been married at least once
1336
01:19:11,192 --> 01:19:13,278
and who is a great deal smarter than I.
1337
01:19:13,695 --> 01:19:16,031
-How's Alex?
-I was just about to call her.
1338
01:19:20,118 --> 01:19:22,287
-Hey, Barney, do you have--
-Oh, yeah.
1339
01:19:22,579 --> 01:19:23,580
Thank you.
1340
01:19:24,873 --> 01:19:28,543
♪ I'll be dreaming ♪
1341
01:19:30,128 --> 01:19:32,130
[phone rings]
1342
01:19:34,924 --> 01:19:35,800
Hello?
1343
01:19:35,884 --> 01:19:37,927
-Hello, Greg?
-Who's this?
1344
01:19:38,094 --> 01:19:40,472
This is your stepfather. May I speak
to Alex?
1345
01:19:40,722 --> 01:19:42,932
Uh, no, she's gone for the weekend.
1346
01:19:43,349 --> 01:19:45,310
-Where?
-She asked me not to give out
1347
01:19:45,393 --> 01:19:46,352
that information, Zach.
1348
01:19:46,853 --> 01:19:51,066
Well, you're a fine young lad, aren't you?
Just please tell her I called.
1349
01:19:51,816 --> 01:19:52,692
Sure.
1350
01:19:58,406 --> 01:20:00,116
I wish he'd stay the hell out of her life.
1351
01:20:01,451 --> 01:20:04,496
[dog barking]
1352
01:20:05,205 --> 01:20:06,122
Oh.
1353
01:20:10,585 --> 01:20:11,878
[doorbell ringing]
1354
01:20:18,593 --> 01:20:19,469
-[Zach] Hi, Marge.
-Ah!
1355
01:20:19,594 --> 01:20:20,595
Can I come in?
1356
01:20:24,029 --> 01:20:25,225
Hi, Marge. I'm sorry to bother you,
1357
01:20:25,308 --> 01:20:27,143
but could we just talk for a minute?
1358
01:20:27,227 --> 01:20:28,561
[thud]
1359
01:20:29,479 --> 01:20:30,438
Shit!
1360
01:20:32,023 --> 01:20:33,775
Sorry. I didn't see the suitcase here.
1361
01:20:33,900 --> 01:20:35,610
-Are you going someplace?
-Yes.
1362
01:20:35,860 --> 01:20:37,153
-Where?
-Away.
1363
01:20:37,278 --> 01:20:38,404
Away where?
1364
01:20:38,571 --> 01:20:42,575
-Away... where you can't find me.
-Oh.
1365
01:20:42,784 --> 01:20:44,702
Ah! Harry!
1366
01:20:45,161 --> 01:20:46,913
[dog barking]
1367
01:20:47,205 --> 01:20:50,458
Sorry about that. Are you--
are you gonna see Alex?
1368
01:20:51,501 --> 01:20:54,129
What is it you exactly want, Zach?
1369
01:20:54,838 --> 01:20:57,048
Marge, I need to talk to your daughter.
It's very important.
1370
01:20:57,173 --> 01:21:00,093
Would you just... please tell me
where she is?
1371
01:21:00,218 --> 01:21:01,761
-No.
-Why won't you tell me?
1372
01:21:02,053 --> 01:21:04,681
Because if you knew where she was,
you'd screw up her life,
1373
01:21:04,806 --> 01:21:06,307
and then I'd have to kill you.
1374
01:21:06,391 --> 01:21:08,268
[clears throat] Oh, well,
that makes sense.
1375
01:21:08,560 --> 01:21:10,562
[clears throat]
1376
01:21:11,479 --> 01:21:14,440
Do you think I could have a drink?
I'm a little parched--
1377
01:21:14,774 --> 01:21:16,693
I'll get you some tap water.
1378
01:21:16,818 --> 01:21:18,278
That's fine. That would be great.
1379
01:21:20,989 --> 01:21:21,990
[clears throat]
1380
01:21:44,929 --> 01:21:47,849
Oh. Marge, thank you. Cheers.
1381
01:21:51,394 --> 01:21:53,563
It's good. Clear too.
Would you like a little?
1382
01:21:53,730 --> 01:21:54,856
[chuckles]
1383
01:21:55,148 --> 01:21:58,860
Ahem, look, Marge, um, I realize that
you and I over the years
1384
01:21:58,985 --> 01:22:00,862
haven't exactly hit it off and, you know,
1385
01:22:01,070 --> 01:22:03,531
you have just cause to really hate me.
1386
01:22:04,365 --> 01:22:06,701
But... I don't know why, I just feel that
1387
01:22:07,035 --> 01:22:09,287
somehow if you'd look
deep within yourself,
1388
01:22:09,370 --> 01:22:13,541
you might find that you have some good
feelings about me.
1389
01:22:17,295 --> 01:22:19,380
-Well, Marge, I-- I just think that--
-Harry.
1390
01:22:20,173 --> 01:22:21,341
-It's time now--
-Harry.
1391
01:22:21,466 --> 01:22:22,717
to bury the hatchet, you know?
1392
01:22:22,842 --> 01:22:24,427
-You left that door open--
-What.
1393
01:22:24,510 --> 01:22:27,305
If you let that dog run away, I'll rip
your beard off!
1394
01:22:27,430 --> 01:22:30,600
-Marge, I tripped. I--
-Harry? Harry!
1395
01:22:33,102 --> 01:22:34,103
[sighs]
1396
01:22:35,939 --> 01:22:41,236
[Marge] Harry? Harry? Here, Harry!
1397
01:22:42,403 --> 01:22:45,698
Holy Jesus. Harry. Harry.
1398
01:22:46,157 --> 01:22:48,785
Harry? Come on, Harry, snap out.
1399
01:22:48,910 --> 01:22:49,994
[Marge whistling]
1400
01:22:51,120 --> 01:22:52,080
Oh, God!
1401
01:22:52,413 --> 01:22:53,831
[Marge] Nice Harry.
1402
01:22:54,874 --> 01:22:56,251
[Marge] Come on, Harry!
1403
01:22:57,377 --> 01:23:01,381
Harry? Harry? Harry?
1404
01:23:01,506 --> 01:23:04,133
Marge, why don't you look out back,
okay? I'll-- I'll-- I'll go out front.
1405
01:23:04,217 --> 01:23:05,218
Harry!
1406
01:23:05,802 --> 01:23:07,428
Harry! Harry!
1407
01:23:07,762 --> 01:23:09,180
Harry?
1408
01:23:11,432 --> 01:23:13,393
-[Marge] Here, Harry!
-Harry?
1409
01:23:15,812 --> 01:23:17,897
-[Marge] Here, Harry!
-Here, Harry!
1410
01:23:18,022 --> 01:23:19,440
[whistling]
1411
01:23:19,691 --> 01:23:21,734
-[Marge] Harry.
-You find him?
1412
01:23:21,901 --> 01:23:22,777
[Marge] No!
1413
01:23:22,902 --> 01:23:24,821
-Keep looking.
-[Marge] Harry!
1414
01:23:27,115 --> 01:23:29,200
Harry! Here, boy.
1415
01:23:30,285 --> 01:23:31,995
Sorry, Harry. Stay.
1416
01:23:33,955 --> 01:23:34,956
Harry?
1417
01:23:35,123 --> 01:23:35,999
[door shuts]
1418
01:23:41,212 --> 01:23:44,507
[police siren wailing]
1419
01:23:45,925 --> 01:23:47,552
[Jake] Hi, you've reached the Fennermans.
1420
01:23:47,635 --> 01:23:49,470
Leave a message when you hear the beep.
1421
01:23:49,596 --> 01:23:50,513
[answering machine beeps]
1422
01:23:50,580 --> 01:23:52,223
[Zach] Jake this is Zach.
It's 2:00 in the morning.
1423
01:23:52,307 --> 01:23:54,934
I'm in Ventura County jail. Get me out
of here.
1424
01:23:55,601 --> 01:23:58,229
The arresting officer states
that you were clocked
1425
01:23:58,313 --> 01:24:00,648
at 134 miles an hour.
1426
01:24:01,316 --> 01:24:05,153
-Anything to say about that, Mr. Hutton?
-I was in a hurry, your Honor.
1427
01:24:06,988 --> 01:24:09,532
Me too. Five hundred dollars or 30 days.
1428
01:24:10,158 --> 01:24:11,492
[gavel bangs]
1429
01:24:23,421 --> 01:24:25,089
[indistinct chatter]
1430
01:24:25,548 --> 01:24:28,134
-Miss Alexander Hutton.
-What about her?
1431
01:24:28,259 --> 01:24:30,511
-I'm Zachary Hutton.
-Should that make a difference?
1432
01:24:30,595 --> 01:24:32,305
She's expecting me.
What's her room number?
1433
01:24:32,930 --> 01:24:35,183
-She's not in her room.
-Where is she?
1434
01:24:35,850 --> 01:24:37,310
She's in the arboretum.
1435
01:24:38,811 --> 01:24:43,775
[birds chirping]
1436
01:24:52,867 --> 01:24:55,453
[laughs]
1437
01:24:57,580 --> 01:24:58,956
[dog whimpers]
1438
01:25:00,500 --> 01:25:02,001
-Harry?
-[dog barks]
1439
01:25:02,126 --> 01:25:07,382
["here comes the bride"
playing on the organ]
1440
01:25:14,722 --> 01:25:17,683
Would you mind? Is this a bad time?
1441
01:25:28,569 --> 01:25:29,487
[priest] Dearly beloved,
1442
01:25:30,363 --> 01:25:34,575
we are gathered here to join
in holy matrimony
1443
01:25:35,118 --> 01:25:37,328
Alexandra and Jonas.
1444
01:25:38,788 --> 01:25:43,334
If there is anyone here who could show
just 'cause why this couple
1445
01:25:43,459 --> 01:25:46,921
should not be married,
let them speak now
1446
01:25:47,171 --> 01:25:49,424
or forever hold their peace.
1447
01:25:50,550 --> 01:25:51,509
Uh...
1448
01:25:51,843 --> 01:25:53,052
[grunts]
1449
01:25:53,428 --> 01:25:56,431
[people chattering]
1450
01:25:56,806 --> 01:25:57,723
[Zach grunts]
1451
01:26:00,143 --> 01:26:01,644
Come on, Zach.
1452
01:26:02,812 --> 01:26:05,189
Alex, you don't have to do this.
1453
01:26:05,481 --> 01:26:07,859
Yes, I do. Papa always said
1454
01:26:07,984 --> 01:26:09,986
if someone takes the trouble to ruin
your wedding,
1455
01:26:10,069 --> 01:26:11,779
the least you can do is walk
them to the car.
1456
01:26:11,904 --> 01:26:13,823
He sounds like a real old-world gentleman.
1457
01:26:13,906 --> 01:26:16,367
Oh, you'd have loved each other.
You could compare livers.
1458
01:26:16,993 --> 01:26:19,495
Do you know, your mother
missed her calling.
1459
01:26:19,579 --> 01:26:20,580
If she'd drop a few pounds,
1460
01:26:20,705 --> 01:26:23,124
I might get her a match with, uh,
Sugar Ray.
1461
01:26:23,332 --> 01:26:26,669
-I can't say as I really blame her.
-I always wondered what she saw in me.
1462
01:26:26,878 --> 01:26:29,547
Probably Papa. Could you get
Mr. Hutton's car, please?
1463
01:26:29,672 --> 01:26:30,840
[sighs]
1464
01:26:31,299 --> 01:26:33,885
-I guess I really screwed things up.
-You guess.
1465
01:26:34,051 --> 01:26:35,595
-You want to know why I came?
-No.
1466
01:26:35,887 --> 01:26:38,723
I feel like I'm drowning
and you're the only one that can save me.
1467
01:26:38,973 --> 01:26:40,808
-I can't save you, Zach.
-You can't?
1468
01:26:40,933 --> 01:26:42,685
That's not fair. I was counting on you.
1469
01:26:44,437 --> 01:26:47,732
You see, no matter how bad I am
or was or will be,
1470
01:26:48,024 --> 01:26:50,109
I keep thinking you're gonna save me.
1471
01:26:50,193 --> 01:26:52,069
In spite of everything,
you'll put your arms around me
1472
01:26:52,153 --> 01:26:53,946
and tell me it's all right,
and I'll be resurrected
1473
01:26:54,030 --> 01:26:56,240
because you love me and you've got
the magic.
1474
01:26:57,909 --> 01:26:58,951
No magic.
1475
01:26:59,535 --> 01:27:01,162
Yeah, but what a dream, huh?
1476
01:27:01,746 --> 01:27:04,123
-It's a selfish dream.
-That too,
1477
01:27:04,248 --> 01:27:07,543
but hey, these days I'm all I've got,
and that ain't much.
1478
01:27:09,295 --> 01:27:11,339
Zach, you know, I'm glad
I don't have the magic.
1479
01:27:11,839 --> 01:27:13,716
-How come?
-Because you'd count on it
1480
01:27:13,799 --> 01:27:14,967
and never look for the truth.
1481
01:27:16,594 --> 01:27:18,554
In spite of how it seems, I'm looking.
1482
01:27:20,056 --> 01:27:21,682
In the bottom of a cocktail glass?
1483
01:27:22,016 --> 01:27:23,184
[car door opens]
1484
01:27:23,601 --> 01:27:24,519
Good kill.
1485
01:27:35,321 --> 01:27:37,907
You know, Alex, I do love you
and I'm gonna make it.
1486
01:27:38,658 --> 01:27:40,701
Would it be too much to ask you to wait
until I do?
1487
01:27:42,245 --> 01:27:43,120
Yes.
1488
01:27:43,454 --> 01:27:44,493
Because you don't think I can?
1489
01:27:45,957 --> 01:27:46,916
Yes.
1490
01:27:47,291 --> 01:27:49,710
Yeah, and if I do, what a guy.
Just think what you'll be missing.
1491
01:27:49,961 --> 01:27:51,879
[tires screeching]
1492
01:28:00,763 --> 01:28:02,348
Can we get married now?
1493
01:28:04,308 --> 01:28:05,184
We have to talk.
1494
01:28:11,857 --> 01:28:15,111
[music playing]
1495
01:28:18,114 --> 01:28:20,241
[Zach] I've never felt like this before.
1496
01:28:20,324 --> 01:28:24,120
I'm-- I'm seriously... unhappy.
1497
01:28:25,454 --> 01:28:27,248
This is not just the bush-league blues.
1498
01:28:27,373 --> 01:28:30,126
We're talking major-league
depression here.
1499
01:28:34,005 --> 01:28:35,172
I can't sleep.
1500
01:28:37,133 --> 01:28:38,259
[sighs]
1501
01:28:38,342 --> 01:28:40,261
I take pills, but they only last
a couple hours
1502
01:28:40,344 --> 01:28:41,762
and then I'm up at 4:00 in the morning,
1503
01:28:41,846 --> 01:28:43,931
pacing the fucking house or walking
on the cold
1504
01:28:44,015 --> 01:28:45,266
fucking beach, you know?
1505
01:28:49,103 --> 01:28:51,981
I'm so miserable,
I want to fucking shoot myself.
1506
01:28:52,648 --> 01:28:55,192
But I can't because I'm afraid to die.
1507
01:28:56,277 --> 01:28:57,445
How's that for fucked-up?
1508
01:29:02,783 --> 01:29:04,493
[crying]
1509
01:29:09,665 --> 01:29:11,083
So, what's the answer?
1510
01:29:15,880 --> 01:29:18,883
I forgot you don't have answers.
You're not the burning bush.
1511
01:29:19,091 --> 01:29:21,052
You just give suggestions.
1512
01:29:23,554 --> 01:29:25,014
Well, I need help.
1513
01:29:25,681 --> 01:29:27,266
I'm in the fucking dumper.
1514
01:29:30,936 --> 01:29:33,439
Give me a suggestion, because I know
you've got one.
1515
01:29:33,522 --> 01:29:36,651
I can see it in those beady little
Freudian eyes.
1516
01:29:37,943 --> 01:29:41,656
If an alcoholic wants me to cure him,
you know what I say?
1517
01:29:41,822 --> 01:29:42,907
[sighs]
1518
01:29:43,199 --> 01:29:45,534
That's a question.
That's not a suggestion.
1519
01:29:50,498 --> 01:29:54,418
-Okay. What do you say?
-First, stop drinking.
1520
01:29:56,128 --> 01:29:57,922
[music playing]
1521
01:29:58,923 --> 01:29:59,799
I don't get it.
1522
01:30:01,342 --> 01:30:05,346
Go home and think about it.
That's my suggestion.
1523
01:30:07,098 --> 01:30:08,641
["Falling Out of Love" played
by Ivan Neville]
1524
01:30:08,766 --> 01:30:10,393
[man on tv] We interrupt
our regular broadcast
1525
01:30:10,476 --> 01:30:12,353
to bring you an important announcement.
1526
01:30:12,478 --> 01:30:14,855
The western regional weather service
has just issued
1527
01:30:14,939 --> 01:30:16,774
an urgent tsunami wave warning,
1528
01:30:17,024 --> 01:30:19,110
due to a seismic disturbance
in the Pacific.
1529
01:30:19,777 --> 01:30:21,529
Waves could exceed heights
of 20 feet
1530
01:30:21,821 --> 01:30:23,489
and may crest at any time.
1531
01:30:23,864 --> 01:30:26,158
All residents in the coastal
area are urged
1532
01:30:26,242 --> 01:30:27,243
to be on the alert.
1533
01:30:29,537 --> 01:30:32,206
♪ Just trying to find my way ♪
1534
01:30:32,540 --> 01:30:34,291
♪ Don't know my name ♪
1535
01:30:34,542 --> 01:30:37,420
♪ Living day to day ♪
1536
01:30:38,796 --> 01:30:40,381
-Hi.
-Hi.
1537
01:30:40,464 --> 01:30:44,260
♪ Just a little boy who wants
To have his way ♪
1538
01:30:44,760 --> 01:30:47,012
♪ I just can't keep still ♪
1539
01:30:47,555 --> 01:30:51,642
♪ And I'm falling out of love ♪
1540
01:30:54,937 --> 01:30:57,732
♪ Falling out of love ♪
1541
01:31:00,151 --> 01:31:02,403
♪ Sometimes it feels ♪
1542
01:31:02,611 --> 01:31:05,740
♪ Like I'm running out of time ♪
1543
01:31:10,870 --> 01:31:13,914
♪ Sand slipping through my fingers ♪
1544
01:31:14,039 --> 01:31:16,792
♪ Like rivers through my mind ♪
1545
01:31:19,712 --> 01:31:22,715
[Zach] God, I rented this beach house
1546
01:31:22,840 --> 01:31:24,675
because I thought, if you're really there,
1547
01:31:25,342 --> 01:31:27,762
this is the best place to get in touch
with you.
1548
01:31:29,180 --> 01:31:32,433
I'm in pretty bad shape,
and I need some answers.
1549
01:31:35,394 --> 01:31:39,064
If an alcoholic wants me to cure him,
you know what I say?
1550
01:31:39,774 --> 01:31:41,650
First, stop drinking.
1551
01:31:46,489 --> 01:31:47,865
I got it!
1552
01:31:54,622 --> 01:31:55,498
Jake!
1553
01:31:57,583 --> 01:31:58,876
You won't believe it!
1554
01:31:58,959 --> 01:32:02,338
But there is a God! And he's a gag writer!
1555
01:32:02,505 --> 01:32:03,923
What the--
1556
01:32:04,089 --> 01:32:06,133
[all screaming]
1557
01:32:06,383 --> 01:32:07,676
[laughs]
1558
01:32:08,969 --> 01:32:09,929
What the--
1559
01:32:10,054 --> 01:32:12,640
Close the door, goddamn it, Jake!
1560
01:32:13,724 --> 01:32:16,769
Bernice will never forgive Jake
for renting me his other beach house.
1561
01:32:17,186 --> 01:32:19,396
But anyway, I figured it out, Barney.
1562
01:32:20,105 --> 01:32:22,274
You can't cure a problem until you know
1563
01:32:22,608 --> 01:32:24,193
what's causing the problem.
1564
01:32:24,860 --> 01:32:27,988
But before you can see what's causing
the problem,
1565
01:32:28,322 --> 01:32:31,033
you first have to remove the problem.
1566
01:32:31,992 --> 01:32:34,495
You gotta give up the vices to get
to the virtues.
1567
01:32:35,287 --> 01:32:37,498
-I could've told you that.
-Yeah? Why didn't you?
1568
01:32:37,748 --> 01:32:40,292
You want it to take, you got to figure
it out for yourself.
1569
01:32:40,876 --> 01:32:42,753
Okay, wise guy, what's my problem?
1570
01:32:42,920 --> 01:32:44,797
You're scared, like the rest of us.
1571
01:32:45,089 --> 01:32:48,050
You drink too much. You chase girls
much too much.
1572
01:32:48,425 --> 01:32:51,011
and you don't use your God-given talent
anymore.
1573
01:32:53,138 --> 01:32:57,142
-You've known that all along?
-I'm a good bartender.
1574
01:32:57,351 --> 01:33:00,479
Now all I have to do is figure out
how to stop being scared.
1575
01:33:01,689 --> 01:33:04,733
While you're at it, may I offer
a suggestion?
1576
01:33:05,067 --> 01:33:07,069
[Zach] Okay, open up,
I know you're in there.
1577
01:33:07,278 --> 01:33:08,237
I'm coming to get you!
1578
01:33:18,581 --> 01:33:22,293
[jazz music playing]
1579
01:33:29,300 --> 01:33:34,471
[saxophone playing]
1580
01:33:43,647 --> 01:33:46,734
The truth, was I research or recreation?
1581
01:33:47,151 --> 01:33:49,695
You were ravishing.
1582
01:33:50,412 --> 01:33:52,206
I switched you from tonic water to Slice.
1583
01:33:52,312 --> 01:33:53,782
-Think you can handle it?
-Yeah, that's fine.
1584
01:33:53,866 --> 01:33:56,285
Just keep me away from those honey-roasted
almonds.
1585
01:33:56,452 --> 01:33:57,703
Excuse me.
1586
01:33:58,829 --> 01:34:01,707
-Congratulations, Mr. Hutton.
-Oh, you read my book?
1587
01:34:01,916 --> 01:34:05,085
No, but since you stopped drinking,
you're a much better kisser.
1588
01:34:05,210 --> 01:34:06,170
[laughs]
1589
01:34:06,420 --> 01:34:09,048
-Hello, Miss Jones.
-Hi, stranger.
1590
01:34:10,174 --> 01:34:13,010
-You need any help--
-No, I'll get her. I got her.
1591
01:34:13,135 --> 01:34:15,012
Ow. Oh, God. Doesn't this hurt you?
1592
01:34:15,095 --> 01:34:16,138
Oh, God!
1593
01:34:17,765 --> 01:34:19,934
Rebecca, you look fetching.
1594
01:34:20,267 --> 01:34:22,728
-Merry Christmas, Greg.
-Merry Christmas.
1595
01:34:23,062 --> 01:34:25,773
-Marge!
-I'm really proud of you.
1596
01:34:25,856 --> 01:34:27,316
-You're kidding.
-Yes.
1597
01:34:29,735 --> 01:34:31,528
Hey, you guys. You're not mad, are you?
1598
01:34:31,779 --> 01:34:34,490
No, of course not. Congratulations, Zach.
1599
01:34:34,573 --> 01:34:36,617
Nice to see you both.
1600
01:34:37,743 --> 01:34:39,328
Watch out. He's dangerous.
1601
01:34:40,371 --> 01:34:41,705
-Molly.
-Zach.
1602
01:34:41,830 --> 01:34:43,415
-Hey, Molly--
-I'd like you to meet Steven.
1603
01:34:43,499 --> 01:34:45,376
-Nice to meet you. How are you?
-How are you, Steven?
1604
01:34:45,542 --> 01:34:47,086
-I read your book.
-Yeah?
1605
01:34:47,419 --> 01:34:48,754
-Mm-hmm.
-Great.
1606
01:34:48,837 --> 01:34:50,297
[clears throat] Thank you, uh,
1607
01:34:50,381 --> 01:34:52,257
-What do you do, Steven?
-I'm a fireman.
1608
01:34:52,341 --> 01:34:53,342
Nice move.
1609
01:34:54,343 --> 01:34:56,136
Curt. How are you?
1610
01:34:56,887 --> 01:34:58,847
I, uh-- I think you remember this lady.
1611
01:34:58,931 --> 01:35:00,849
How can I forget? She used to borrow
my socks.
1612
01:35:00,933 --> 01:35:02,351
Would you like me to get
you another drink?
1613
01:35:02,434 --> 01:35:05,312
Please. Good for you.
1614
01:35:05,646 --> 01:35:08,524
-Thanks. How's the duck?
-Oh.
1615
01:35:09,233 --> 01:35:11,402
Last time I heard, he was thinking
of moving to Washington
1616
01:35:11,527 --> 01:35:13,487
-and getting married.
-To you?
1617
01:35:14,613 --> 01:35:15,531
No.
1618
01:35:17,950 --> 01:35:19,159
Still got cold feet?
1619
01:35:21,453 --> 01:35:22,913
Only where you're concerned.
1620
01:35:23,539 --> 01:35:26,250
Alex, I've stopped drinking. I've written
a bestseller.
1621
01:35:26,458 --> 01:35:28,335
In my book, two out of three ain't bad.
1622
01:35:29,169 --> 01:35:32,297
No, but in my book, two out of three
just ain't good enough.
1623
01:35:34,299 --> 01:35:38,679
What would you do if I told you
that I've been celibate for six months?
1624
01:35:40,014 --> 01:35:41,056
Cross my legs.
1625
01:35:41,181 --> 01:35:42,182
[laughs]
1626
01:35:43,809 --> 01:35:46,729
Alex, we're made for each other.
1627
01:35:47,271 --> 01:35:48,480
And I'm gonna prove that to you.
1628
01:35:48,564 --> 01:35:51,275
One of these days, you're gonna be wearing
my socks again.
1629
01:35:56,780 --> 01:36:00,659
[crowd applauding]
1630
01:36:04,496 --> 01:36:07,875
[piano playing]
1631
01:36:11,253 --> 01:36:12,921
-Hey.
-Hey.
1632
01:36:13,255 --> 01:36:15,090
I think it's the best thing
you've ever written.
1633
01:36:15,257 --> 01:36:17,926
-Really?
-Your book set me on fire.
1634
01:36:21,263 --> 01:36:23,474
Rebecca, I think there's something
you should know.
1635
01:36:23,640 --> 01:36:24,850
Yes, Zach?
1636
01:36:25,476 --> 01:36:28,771
In order for me to write this book,
I had to...
1637
01:36:31,190 --> 01:36:32,232
change.
1638
01:36:33,025 --> 01:36:35,027
-Oh, Zach.
-Yes, Rebecca?
1639
01:36:35,611 --> 01:36:37,988
Have you ever heard the story of the frog
and the scorpion?
1640
01:36:39,948 --> 01:36:41,909
[man over radio] KBLA now concludes
1641
01:36:42,076 --> 01:36:43,535
its broadcast day.
1642
01:36:43,952 --> 01:36:50,417
["Star Spangled Banner" playing]
1643
01:36:56,423 --> 01:36:58,967
-When are you gonna grow up?
-What are you talking about?
1644
01:36:59,259 --> 01:37:01,470
I've stopped drinking,
I've written a bestseller,
1645
01:37:01,595 --> 01:37:05,641
refused to sleep with a beautiful,
lusty, aromatic young female.
1646
01:37:05,766 --> 01:37:07,518
In my book, that's pretty good growing up.
1647
01:37:07,893 --> 01:37:09,228
Oh, I suppose so.
1648
01:37:09,978 --> 01:37:12,731
But you're in a monogamous
relationship now.
1649
01:37:14,817 --> 01:37:16,110
So take it off.
1650
01:37:17,069 --> 01:37:19,196
[Zach] Okay, but you're not being
very patriotic.
1651
01:37:21,740 --> 01:37:23,450
["Falling Out of Love" playing
by Ivan Neville]
124952
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