All language subtitles for S03E03 - The Law of Non-Contradiction - Ehhhh

You going by
the autopsy later?

They glued
his nose and mouth shut.

Are we thinking cause of death
is somehow a cliffhanger?

Is that the box
you took from Ennis'?

Uh-huh.

So, you figure
this Thaddeus Mobley fella

had something to
do with the murder?

I should say so,

seeing as how Ennis Stussy
and this Thaddeus Mobley
are one and the same.

I know he wasn't
from around here.

It's kind of,
to be honest, a mystery.

Ennis moved to
Eden Valley in 1980.

But I think he may
have changed his name

before he moved here.

Did you ever hear
of Thaddeus Mobley
out of Los Angeles?

No, I'm afraid not.

Hi, uh, could I get a...

Joachim.

One cube.

And, uh, whatever
this big swinging dick
over here is drinking.

Oh, no, that's...
I just wanted a cream soda.

I'm not much of a drinker,
in point of fact.

Ah.

Well, maybe that's why you
are the award-winning writer.

Saving some of those
brain cells for the page.

How about a nice cream soda
for my new amigo Thaddeus
over here?

Do you prefer "Thaddeus",
or, uh...

Uh, Tad. Thanks.

But how'd you know my name?

You are the cheddar, kid.
Get used to it.

Wait, the what?

You know, you're the cheddar.
The cheese.

Howard Zimmerman.

Producer.

Oh.

So, let me ask you,

you ever think
about turning that...

That book of yours
into a movie?

"The Planet Wyh."

Bob Redford is the robot.

Hold the phone.

You're saying you wanna turn
my book into a movie?

Uh, no, bubeleh.

I'm saying I want you to
turn your book

into a major motion picture.

Colossal.

Mr. Zimmerman! Mr. Mobley!

Hold up the dingus
for me and say "UFO"!

Hey, kid.

Over here.

Ah.

You like?

Yeah.

Doll! Come back.
I want you to meet somebody.

Hi. I'm...

This is the genius
I was telling you about.

You're killing me, Howie.

Can we go eat already?

All right, sure. Just give me a sec,
sweetie. Sit down.

So, how's my screenplay
coming along?

Oh, um,

you know, it's...
It's pretty good, actually.

I just...
I thought I would be here

maybe a week or two, you know.

And the motel's
getting pretty expensive.

Relax, kid.
I got you covered, totally.

Just make sure you
keep all your receipts.

Mr. Beatty for you, sir.

Warren! Mi amigo, mi compadre.

Yeah. All right,
don't tell me. Let me guess.

You read it, you loved it.
Am I lying?

No, no, I know.
It's dynamite, isn't it?

They call it a "space opera,"
if you can believe that.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

No, the kid is banging out
the screenplay now as we speak.

So, listen,
is Yablans gonna let you out?

Oh, Christ.

No, no, no. I understand.
No, it's fine.

Next time, bubeleh,
next time, right?

For sure.

Right. Bye.

What happened?

Beatty's under contract
at Paramount.

Short of us
greasing a few palms,

so to speak,
he's not going anywhere.

You mean bribes?

Jesus, keep your
voice down, would you?

Look, it's just
tit for tat out here.

That's how business is done.

Now, look, you know
that I'm no Mother Teresa,

but after divorce number three,
this tit is pretty tapped out.

We're gonna have to find,

I don't know,
some other avenue.

Well, you know,
I do have a book advance.

How much money are
we talking about?

It makes the sex amazing.

Ah.

Minsky.

I can help.

I'm dying.

I need...

No.

It's too late for me.

You must find
a way to get word back.

Let them know,
it wasn't all...

for nothing.

I can help!

"Get word back",
the Captain had told him.

But how?

Thus began the wander of
the Android Minsky.

He was a prototype,
singular in his design,

created to observe and record,

his programming
not yet complete.

A child, in other words.

Folks, we've begun
our descent to Los Angeles,

where the current weather
is a beautiful 72 degrees.

Is that a typo?

Sorry?

The "why" is spelled wrong.

It's a kind of make-believe.

Oh.

Good?

Oh, there's a robot, I guess.

And he's wandering,
looking for, uh...

I'm not sure,
the meaning of life, I guess.

Oh.

That. Yeah.

I know how he feels.

This is my sixth flight
this week.

Isn't it Tuesday?

Yeah.

You know, in the beginning,
we swam, then we crawled,

then walked,
then ran, and now...

- Hi! Merry Christmas!
- Hi.

Are you here for
the convention of Santa Claus?

Why do you...

No. I'm not.

By the hour then, or...

- What?
- Nothing.

Um, single room, one night?

I'm not sure
how long I'll be here.

Uh, room 203. Very nice room.
Very nice.

It's got air conditioning.
You can smell the ocean.

There's a view?

No. There's a smell.
At low tide.

Oh.

What the heck?

Stop!

Stop!

Red Honda.
I got the plate number.

Yeah, that'll help.

So, what'd he look like,
the, uh, bag thief?

Kinda older white male, 5'9".

Uh, green pants.

Green, what do you...
Elf pants.

They're having
a Santa conference.

Not sure why they chose here.

Any valuables in the bag?

Not really. Mostly flannel.

Think I'll get it back?

I wouldn't hold your breath.

Hey, while I got you,
I got some info I need run.

Oh, yeah, we don't do that.

Sorry, I should've clarified.
I'm law enforcement also,
up Minnesota.

Minnesota?

Exactly. Eden Valley.
I'm Chief.

Or I was Chief.
Or, no, I still am. Anyway...

I thought in the spirit of
inter-collegial understanding...

See, I'm in town
looking into a homicide,

and the victim spent some time
here, back in the '70s.

Right.
Okay, I'll tell you what.

The plate number checks out,
I'll come find you.

Maybe even
bring that suitcase.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, sport.

- How's your dad's place?
- Uh, good.

Dale got me an Xbox.

Wow. That was gonna be
your Christmas present.

I know. But he said sometimes

it's good to have
an everyday present.

Haven't heard that one.

I'll have to tell Santa
to take it off the list.

Mom, there's
no such thing as Santa.

There's not? I can see about
nine of 'em from my window
right at this very...

Mom...

Eat your vegetables, okay?

Okay.

Where are you again?

I'm in Hollywood, California.
Trying to figure out what happened
to your grandfather.

But he wasn't even really
my grandfather, they said.

Just married to
Grandma for a while.

Well, he was something
to somebody.

No games till your
homework's done, promise?

Promise.

Okay, then. Love you.

Put Donny on.

Okay. Bye, Mom.

Hey, Chief.

Town still there?

How do you mean?

Oh, Chief,
new chief's real angry.

Said you didn't
have permission to go.

Said county's not
gonna pay for the trip.

I never asked 'em to.

Well, he wants you
to come back.

Found the motel
from the photo.

Got a lead on this actress, I think,
Vivian Lord. Her whereabouts.

Wow.

So, what do you want me
to tell the new chief?

Tell him I saw the ocean
and it was wet.

I don't know.

That all, hon?

Actually,
I'm looking for Vivian.

Hey! Viv!

- Ms. Lord?
- Mmm-hmm.

I'm Chief Burgle. Gloria.

With the Eden Valley Police,
up Minnesota.

Okay if I ask you
a few questions?

Never been to Minnesota.

No, I know, it's not about...
This won't take long.

Did you know a fella,
Thaddeus Mobley, a writer?

Would've been about 35 or so
years ago, here in Los Angeles.

No, it's not a very
clear time for me.

Which?

The '70s.

But you knew him?

Uh.

He had this in his...

In a box, so I'm thinking you
must've known him pretty well.

Honey, you know how many walls
I'm on in this town?

Uh...

Homicide is the thing, with him
the victim. So, it matters.

- Look, what's your name?
- Gloria.

Gloria.

I'm 29 years sober.

- Long time.
- Mmm.

Before that, I wasn't.

So, even if I knew this guy,

it's basically nothing
but a dream.

Is there anyone else
I can talk to?

- I'm not a snitch.
- No. That's not...

For information, I'm saying.

See, he was my stepdad.
Sort of, for a time.

And my son,
not that that matters...

A homicide is a homicide,
but still, the personal angle.

Hmm.

My order's up.

Sure. Well, I'm at
the Hollywood Premiere Motel.

If you change your mind,
give me a call.

Suitcase empty / Glass half full.
Buy you a beer? - Officer Hunt.
310-110-0405

Officer Hunt?

- Oh, hey. Gloria, right?
- Yeah.

Yeah, pop a squat.

Can I get two beers?

- You want two beers?
- Um...

Think I'll just
have a diet pop.

"Diet pop."

You're... You're too much.

Hey, so after we talked,
I tried, uh...

I tried to friend you
on Facebook.

I don't use that.

Really?
You don't use Facebook?

You're kidding me. Everybody's
on Facebook. It's Facebook.

Could you stop
saying "Facebook"?

I got 352 friends.

Most of 'em I don't even know.

But... Oh, and this one time,
I met this chick,

- she was smoking hot.
- Mmm.

Then she turned out to be a
Nigerian man who wanted money.

But, uh...

I live in a small town.

You gotta be
on Facebook, though.

You know, 'cause
it's like a small town.

Only online.

You know, so you check in,
you can post photos.

You know, connect? Right?
'Cause who has time for...

Yeah.

I'll, uh, check that out.

Yeah!

Yeah.

So, did you find anything?

Huh?

About when I called before,

asked you to look up
that fella, Thaddeus Mobley,
lived here in the 1970s?

Right. Yes. No, of course.
Yeah, I... I checked on that.

Nothing came up.

So, he was, what?
Like, your dad?

Sorta.

You're a real chatterbox, huh?

I can't get a word
in edgewise with you.

Good thing you're so hot!

Charm police?

I got a major felon
right here.

I'm only teasing you, though.

You don't got teasing
in Minnesota?

I don't sound like that, do I?

I mean, yeah.

Look, uh, I'm just...
I'm just kidding with you.

Can you relax?
Maybe have a beer.

Ugh.

I gotta go drop
the kids off at the pool.

- You got kids?
- I gotta take a shit.

You again.

Six flights before Tuesday?

Right. What are the odds?

I never asked.

- Paul Marrane.
- Uh, Gloria Burgle.

Ah.

What do you do, Gloria?

I'm in law enforcement.

Oh.

- Like the police?
- Exactly.

I'm Chief in Eden Valley.
Or, was Chief.

We're being swallowed by the county,
so hierarchy's a little unclear at present.

Oh... Married or divorced?

I'm sorry?

Your finger.

You used to wear a ring.
Now you don't.

Divorced. Or, not yet, but...

Anyway...

Uh.

Before he goes off to war,

a soldier gives his wife
a bill of divorce.

He says, "Dear,
this is your bill of divorce.

If I don't return
within 12 months,

it becomes effective
from this moment onward."

Meaning that, if he dies,

they've been divorced
the whole time he was gone.

If he returns,
they were always married.

Huh.

That's like a...
Ah, what do you...

I'm my own grandpa.

Which means,
if you really think about it,

for the entire year,
she was married and divorced.

Well, we got a hearing
next month,

so, probably won't
have to wait that long.

Ah. Good.

All right, keep walking, dipshit.
This one's mine.

Uh, no. That's not...
We know each other.

All right.

Look, I'm just gonna cut
to the chase here, gorgeous.

Am I getting laid tonight
or what?

What.

Cool. Thanks for the beer.

For Ms. Burgle (urgent),
from Chief Moe Dammik:
GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!

"From small beginnings,
big things arise,"

thought the Android Minsky.

"Energy became matter,
matter became life.

Bacteria to amoeba,
amoeba to amphibian,

amphibian to man.

Living and dying in numbers
too large to calculate."

Orphaned and alone, he traveled
the Earth as centuries passed.

Millennia.
A being in search of meaning.

Each century, he would have to
stop and recharge.

In those hours he was
vulnerable to attack.

Hold him still!

- I can help!
- Watch him.

I can help!

Hi.

I'm looking for information
on a writer.

He would've worked here
in the '70s.

- Union?
- Uh, pardon?

Was he in the union?

I don't know.
He wrote books mostly.

The Writer's Guild doesn't
represent book writers.

Well, that seems
like an oversight.

Name?

Uh, Gloria Burgle.

- His name is Gloria...
- No. Sorry. That's my name.

He was Thaddeus Mobley.

Wait here.

Howard, there's someone here
to see you.

Gladys?

No, Mr. Zimmerman, it's...
I'm Gloria Burgle.

I'm sorry,
could you repeat that?

I said... can't you people
take a hint?

I give only to Chabad.

I'm a police officer.

Police?

Who called the police?

I have a few questions for you
about a writer you worked with
back in 1975.

Thaddeus Mobley.

Never heard of him.

He wrote a script for you
called The Planet Wyh.

A science fiction film?

And, well, he was the victim
of some malfeasance recently,

and I'm just trying
to connect the dots here.

I know he was writing
a movie for you,

and then, I don't know,
something happened.

Something happened,
you're damn right.

He failed.
He was a failure.

Let me ask you something...

Do you know about science?

- Do I know about...
- About science.

Well, science has this thing.

It's been proven.

They call it
"quantum" something.

It talks about how
we're all just particles.

We're floating out there.

We're moving through space.

Nobody knows where we are.

And then, every once in a while,

Bang!
We collide.

And suddenly, for maybe
a minute, we're real.

And then we float off again.

As if we don't even exist.

I used to think...

it meant something, these
collisions, the people we found.

And now?

Don't let the door hit you
on your way out.

Excuse me.

Uh, I'm... Does anybody else
visit Mr. Zimmerman?

He mentioned
a woman named Gladys.

- She died.
- Oh.

He's been here a long time,
since the accident.

Say more about that.

I don't know.
It's before my time.

But what I heard is they thought
he was gonna be a vegetable,

he was messed up so bad.

Time for your bath.

Though his sensors
recorded the data,

the numbers had
become meaningless.

From his remove, he watched
civilizations rise and fall.

Hope became despair,
became hope, became despair.

From time to time,
the technology existed to send
word back to his home world.

But by now, there was no one
left to respond.

I can help!

And then,
one day, something happened.

I can help!

From Vivian Lord.
Please call Vivian Lord.
555-0166.

Hey.

You should've called, baby.
I got company.

You got any coke?
It's just, I got nothing.

They're gonna kick me out of
the motel soon, and I just...

Thaddeus, my boy.
�C�mo est�s?

Why is he here?
What... What are you...

You're not gonna cry, are you?

What? No!

Of course he's not gonna cry.

Thaddeus is a big boy.
He's seen the world.

I want my money!

Well, certainly.
Of course you do.

And, by rights,
you should have it.

But I'm afraid the rather
unfortunate fact of the matter is,

it's all gone.

What... What?

- Told you he's crying.
- I... I'm not crying.

Listen to me. Bubee, relax.

I understand.
These are hard lessons.
But you know what?

- You're gonna thank us one day.
- Us? What...

- I thought we were...
- What?

In love?

I used you, asshole.
Don't you get it?

Harsh. Too harsh, my love.
Let the boy down easy.

Can't you see he has
a genuine fondness for you?

You know, just shut up.
I... I need to think.

What? You need it in Braille?

Nobody asked you to come here
with your stupid face and your sad eyes.

Love.

You're a piggy bank.

You know what? Uh...
I think it's probably best
if you were to go.

- I mean, she's obviously quite upset.
- Don't touch me!

Kid, relax.

Come on. It's fine.

I mean, you got played,
that's all.

You're young. Believe me,
you're gonna get over it.

And you know what?
The truth of the matter is,
we did you a favor.

It's a hard, hard world
out there.

You need to develop
a tougher shell, my friend.

Jesus, Howie.
Just get rid of him already.

- No!
- Kid.

No.

- Kid.
- No.

No!

Everybody's got
a role to play.

Yours is to cough up
the cheddar and then screw.

You understand?

I don't hear you.

Yes!

You see that?

Turns out he's reasonable.
He's really a nice kid.

Stop!

Ahh.

You're a bad person!

I never saw him again.

So, that was the accident.

Zimmerman. You conned him.

Did he... Do you think
Zimmerman would have...

Maybe he wanted revenge
and he hired someone, or he...

No.

It's just a story.

None of this has
anything to do with...

Okay.

He was right.

I am a bad person.

Yet he wasn't so good either.

Okay. Um...

Shit.

Okay, folks, in a few minutes,

we'll be beginning our descent
into Minneapolis-Saint Paul

where the temperature
is a balmy 23 degrees.

Unit M-N-S-K-Y.

I can help!

We, the Federation
of United Planets,

want to honor you
for your service.

We downloaded
your data recorder

and found that you have been
functional for 2.38 million years.

We believe this makes you
the oldest sentient being in
the history of the universe.

You have seen
the birth of planets,

the death of worlds.

You have ridden on
the tail of a comet,

have journeyed to
the heart of the sun.

Your data will help us decode
the very fabric of the universe.

I can help!

You have helped,
my metal friend.

But now your
service is complete.

It is time to
shut yourself down.

I can help!

Arby's?

Okay.

You just appear every time
a person says Arby's?

- Oh, are you guys going for Arby's?
- Maybe.

Hey, uh, Chief.
Old Chief...

You gotta stop
calling me that.

Sorry. Just...
Got a call on the radio.

They've pulled some
prints from Ennis'.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Ran it through the...
What do you... Database?
Got a match.

- You don't say.
- Yeah. Maurice LeFay.

Now, that don't sound Russian,
but I showed his photo to Earl,

and he was like,
"Yeah, that's our man".
So, out of, uh, St. Cloud.

Well, now, what do you know.

We should maybe
drive up there after Arby's.

Dead, apparently.

- The... Who?
- Suspect. LeFay.

Some kind of a freak accident.
An air conditioner fell on him, just...

Like a pancake.

And him on parole for
some pretty nasty stuff, too.

Not in front of the boy.

- Mom, I'm old enough.
- Not even close.

An air conditioner, in winter?

That's what I thought.

Well, if he's dead, I don't suppose
he's going anywhere.

Probably we should have
a milkshake, maybe some curly fries,
ponder all future moves.

We may solve this thing yet.

Sync and corrections by Rubens
www.addic7ed.com