Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,000
Oi.
2
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,150
Oi!
3
00:00:16,276 --> 00:00:18,823
You're in my country now.
English.
4
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,599
Sorry, I don't understand you.
This is England,
5
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,788
not Islamistan.
English!
6
00:00:26,914 --> 00:00:28,995
You could be talking about anything.
7
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,875
It's dangerous!
8
00:00:31,036 --> 00:00:33,155
You meant to be here, are you?
9
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:34,480
Oi!
10
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,840
- Just a minute, mate.
- Oi!
11
00:00:41,313 --> 00:00:43,768
- Right, off.
- Make me!
12
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,928
I'm not going anywhere.
13
00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,115
Well, we're not moving until you do.
14
00:00:51,998 --> 00:00:55,990
Excuse me, madam. Could I just say,
I completely agree with you.
15
00:00:56,373 --> 00:00:59,552
Yes. He is in our country now, speak
the Queen's English, or go home.
16
00:00:59,678 --> 00:01:01,186
Yeah, exactly, thank you!
17
00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,795
- Is it too much to ask?
- No, it is not.
18
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,607
He could be saying anything,
he's a security risk.
19
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:10,593
I have some Arabic. Can I translate
for the safety of the passengers?
20
00:01:10,719 --> 00:01:11,919
Go on, then.
21
00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:15,526
When I get home...
22
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,409
I am going to plunge...
23
00:01:18,535 --> 00:01:20,753
my face between your perfect breasts.
24
00:01:22,243 --> 00:01:25,181
My wife, you have such wondrous balloons.
25
00:01:25,307 --> 00:01:27,862
They stand eager and alert,
26
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:30,867
like two small puppies that
have smelt a plate of sausages.
27
00:01:30,993 --> 00:01:34,635
- Stop now.
- No, no, the surveillance must continue.
28
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,120
And on the subject of sausages,
I am speaking to you fully erect.
29
00:01:38,246 --> 00:01:39,675
Shut up!
30
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,480
I found Iran's nuclear programme.
It is in my pants.
31
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,286
That's bloody disgusting!
32
00:02:01,546 --> 00:02:03,321
Did he really say all that?
33
00:02:03,774 --> 00:02:06,251
I'm just a translator.
Don't shoot the messenger.
34
00:02:08,891 --> 00:02:10,091
Busy day?
35
00:02:10,432 --> 00:02:13,797
Oh, I work at the surgery,
so, yeah, every day's a busy day.
36
00:02:13,923 --> 00:02:15,969
- You're a doctor?
- A nurse.
37
00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:19,635
A nurse?
With the National Health Service.
38
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:23,032
- You must be very proud.
- I'm very tired. Will that do?
39
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,665
- Where are you from?
- Damascus.
40
00:02:29,759 --> 00:02:32,524
Are you registered with a GP?
A doctor?
41
00:02:32,650 --> 00:02:34,532
- Actually, no.
- You should come down.
42
00:02:34,657 --> 00:02:36,110
We're on North Street.
43
00:02:37,604 --> 00:02:38,804
I will.
44
00:02:41,931 --> 00:02:43,280
Wondrous balloons?
45
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,080
It's our wedding anniversary.
46
00:02:57,453 --> 00:03:02,053
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,212
Afternoon.
48
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,260
- What do you think?
- What happened to our car?
49
00:03:14,386 --> 00:03:17,745
- I traded down to the hybrid.
- No, not the Audi!
50
00:03:17,871 --> 00:03:19,432
Yeah, well, needs must.
51
00:03:19,558 --> 00:03:22,674
Oh, she carried me across
the ocean like a pregnant mother.
52
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,183
- Steady.
- She was exactly like a pregnant mother.
53
00:03:25,309 --> 00:03:28,011
You popped out and she needed
a new muffler and exhaust pipe.
54
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,515
Why are you doing this, Peter?
55
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,875
When you work for Uber, this is
basically what you drive, Sami.
56
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,515
- Besides, it's a cheaper lease.
- You don't need to drive a cab.
57
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,456
It's only short term
while I look for another position.
58
00:03:40,581 --> 00:03:44,224
- You've got your redundancy.
- I need to do something!
59
00:03:45,055 --> 00:03:48,595
I'm a grafter. I get the job done.
I'm Lord Sebastian Coe.
60
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,742
I'm the other Pet Shop Boy.
I'm Gaviscon!
61
00:03:50,868 --> 00:03:52,078
Your life.
62
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:53,835
Um, Peter?
63
00:03:53,961 --> 00:03:56,086
Middle distance runner,
cosmopolitan pop duo,
64
00:03:56,212 --> 00:03:58,572
- market-leading heartburn treatment.
- Thanking you.
65
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,440
- Everything OK?
- He's just so fucking...
66
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,594
It's nothing to do with him.
67
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,235
I've got to go into school
to give evidence in this case.
68
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,922
- Mum, where's my red hoodie?
- Dirty clothes basket?
69
00:04:15,048 --> 00:04:17,635
- What? You said you'd wash it.
- I said a lot of things, love.
70
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,475
I said bolero sleeves would make a comeback.
71
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,417
- I said Morrissey was being ironic.
- I need it! I need it for tonight.
72
00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:26,510
- Hey, hey. Cool your jets, top gun.
- None of you understand!
73
00:04:28,219 --> 00:04:29,494
War?
74
00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:33,415
Elliott's coming round tonight
to discuss pulling his money out the house.
75
00:04:33,665 --> 00:04:35,865
He's a lot about his fucking dad
at the moment.
76
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,119
- Can you be here?
- Of course.
77
00:04:40,245 --> 00:04:43,231
Er, excuse me? Why does
he have to be here? I'm here.
78
00:04:43,357 --> 00:04:45,995
- Well, in case Elliott gets physical again.
- Well, I can get physical.
79
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,458
- Let's get physical. I did martial arts.
- You did t'ai chi.
80
00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:50,772
- I could beat him up.
- You could beat him up very slowly.
81
00:04:50,897 --> 00:04:52,685
Another terrific vote of confidence.
82
00:04:58,604 --> 00:05:00,284
- He probably won't come.
- Hey.
83
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,241
I'll be here.
84
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:06,258
OK. Right.
I've got to go.
85
00:05:06,384 --> 00:05:08,289
- I'll see you later.
- Good luck.
86
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:22,556
Yah!
87
00:05:22,681 --> 00:05:24,703
- Buckingham Palace, please!
- Jesus Christ!
88
00:05:24,829 --> 00:05:26,225
After much soul-searching,
89
00:05:26,351 --> 00:05:28,434
I feel it would be churlish
to turn down the knighthood.
90
00:05:28,559 --> 00:05:30,386
Step on it!
91
00:05:30,878 --> 00:05:34,605
The middle-class Englishman driving
the refugee. It is the future.
92
00:05:42,512 --> 00:05:45,004
- Sorry about the shouting.
- It's all right, John.
93
00:05:45,543 --> 00:05:48,548
We're all a bunch of
stressy Jessies at the moment.
94
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,204
- You're really doing this Uber thing?
- Yes, I'm really doing it.
95
00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:55,907
Good.
96
00:05:56,339 --> 00:05:58,923
- Really?
- I'm proud of you.
97
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,080
I got you a present.
98
00:06:08,464 --> 00:06:11,457
Golden tissues.
You put them on the back shelf.
99
00:06:12,035 --> 00:06:13,334
Every taxi has one.
100
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,660
Thank you.
101
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,922
- Why do they have the?
- Nobody knows.
102
00:06:18,048 --> 00:06:19,453
Such a lovely moment.
103
00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:20,828
Anybody have a tissue?
104
00:06:26,857 --> 00:06:29,470
"I have had a threesome in a graveyard
105
00:06:29,596 --> 00:06:32,165
and given hand jobs
in two separate pedalos."
106
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:35,434
He told me no-one had fucked me in years.
107
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,666
I was simply disabusing him of that notion.
108
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,158
When you say two separate pedalos...
109
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,963
Not simultaneously.
On two separate occasions.
110
00:06:44,089 --> 00:06:45,291
Oh, good, yes.
111
00:06:45,417 --> 00:06:48,651
I was going to say,
I don't think anyone's got the
112
00:06:48,963 --> 00:06:51,795
- requisite wingspan, so to speak.
- Is this detail absolutely necessary?
113
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,633
That's the question
I was going to ask you.
114
00:06:54,995 --> 00:06:57,573
- On the grass, or...
- A raised tomb.
115
00:06:57,699 --> 00:06:59,006
Of course.
116
00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:02,956
- I said too much.
Things got out of hand.
117
00:07:03,082 --> 00:07:04,556
Maddox is a minor.
118
00:07:04,682 --> 00:07:06,893
- A pretty major minor.
- He's a minor.
119
00:07:07,865 --> 00:07:09,537
This is bollocks, Alan.
120
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,715
We have SRE in this school
to educate our kids that sex
121
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,515
isn't a battlefield.
This boy made it a battlefield.
122
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,396
And you went over the top.
123
00:07:17,623 --> 00:07:19,622
- You slapped his bottom.
- No.
124
00:07:19,748 --> 00:07:20,903
- Touched?
- No.
125
00:07:21,029 --> 00:07:21,835
Felt?
126
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,919
- Patted? Cupped?
- No!
127
00:07:24,045 --> 00:07:25,325
Juggled?
128
00:07:27,665 --> 00:07:29,817
- Can we have a break, please?
- Yes.
129
00:07:42,864 --> 00:07:45,060
- How is the music department?
- Good.
130
00:07:48,118 --> 00:07:50,398
- What's your favourite instrument?
- Bassoon.
131
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:53,233
Are we all right to continue?
132
00:07:54,026 --> 00:07:55,593
Yep, yes.
133
00:08:06,491 --> 00:08:08,569
- You have English?
- Who?
134
00:08:08,695 --> 00:08:12,195
- Can you write English?
- Very beautifully.
135
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,475
All right, Shakespeare.
136
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,060
Fill in this registration form
and bring it back to us.
137
00:08:16,186 --> 00:08:17,386
Thank you.
138
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,876
- Parting is such sweet sorrow.
- Yeah, cheers.
139
00:08:37,244 --> 00:08:38,455
It's the bus guy!
140
00:08:38,908 --> 00:08:42,355
- Ah, it's me!
- Welcome to the National Health Service.
141
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,193
Thank you very much. I like
what you have done with the place.
142
00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:48,903
- Treatment is completely free?
- For you, yeah.
143
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,802
- Unbelievable.
- Although we do ask you to pay in other ways.
144
00:08:51,928 --> 00:08:54,529
Oh, right.
Sorry, I don't understand.
145
00:08:54,655 --> 00:08:56,630
Poetry, dance, song.
146
00:08:57,894 --> 00:08:59,216
Sexual favours.
147
00:09:01,122 --> 00:09:02,669
I love to laugh.
148
00:09:03,239 --> 00:09:04,966
- I have a question.
- What's that?
149
00:09:05,092 --> 00:09:08,630
It asks here for the address
of my previous doctor.
150
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:11,515
But he doesn't have an address.
He joined the White Helmets.
151
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,280
White Helmets?
What's that, a band?
152
00:09:15,477 --> 00:09:17,431
- Yes.
- Rock on!
153
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,040
Highway to Hell.
154
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:22,477
Don't worry,
I know what the White Helmets is.
155
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,517
- Thank God.
- You can just leave it blank.
156
00:09:24,643 --> 00:09:25,846
Thank you.
157
00:09:26,688 --> 00:09:29,316
- Naomi Johnson.
- Not a problem.
158
00:09:30,126 --> 00:09:32,517
- You want to know my name?
- Come back for a checkup.
159
00:09:34,504 --> 00:09:35,704
Bye-bye.
160
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,138
- Trent, is it?
- Yeah, mate.
161
00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:56,990
- Croydon, yeah?
- That's what I've got.
162
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,666
Thank you.
163
00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:22,103
- What?
- I said thank you.
164
00:10:22,229 --> 00:10:25,275
- You got a problem with something?
- No heavy petting.
165
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,995
- Heavy petting?
- I don't even know what that means.
166
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,244
Yep, well, look it up.
People say it all the time, all the time.
167
00:10:31,370 --> 00:10:35,035
- Are you telling us not to kiss?
- It's my car, it's my rules.
168
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:38,038
You can hold hands, you could talk,
but I'm not having that...
169
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,914
This is a hybrid,
not the Scooby-Doo fanny wagon.
170
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,440
- I don't think it was called that.
- Just drive!
171
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,825
- This royal throne of kings...
- What are you doing?
172
00:10:53,951 --> 00:10:56,475
You're doing what you want.
I'll do what I want.
173
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,419
- What is this?
- Radio 4, Trent. Shakespeare!
174
00:10:59,545 --> 00:11:02,715
- Yeah, well, actually, I love Shakespeare.
- So do I!
175
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,014
- It really fucking turns me on.
- Well, maybe I'll fucking turn it up, then.
176
00:11:06,139 --> 00:11:09,013
- I'd love you to turn it up.
- The hand of war.
177
00:11:09,216 --> 00:11:12,513
This happy breed of men.
This little...
178
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:13,848
Oh, God!
179
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,767
This precious stone set in the silver sea...
180
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:17,955
Stop it!
181
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,771
Cease and desist! Cease and desist!
I'm going to stop the car!
182
00:11:21,897 --> 00:11:24,302
Drive, or I'll go faster.
183
00:11:24,428 --> 00:11:26,252
Better keep driving, mate.
184
00:11:26,378 --> 00:11:27,739
This is like Speed.
185
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,035
..this blessed plot, this earth,
186
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,917
this realm, this England.
187
00:11:43,845 --> 00:11:45,500
Oh, fuck...
188
00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:50,446
I don't think I can get through all this.
189
00:11:50,926 --> 00:11:52,811
You cannot get through this alone.
190
00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:55,069
But we are a team.
191
00:11:55,195 --> 00:11:57,080
You need to talk, you reach out to me,
192
00:11:57,206 --> 00:11:59,875
or you reach out to John,
our you reach out to...
193
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,801
You reach out to me again.
194
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,835
Of course, you reach out to Peter as well.
195
00:12:04,961 --> 00:12:07,200
- Yeah, because that works, doesn't it?
- It better work.
196
00:12:07,325 --> 00:12:09,519
That's what I have been doing
with all of you.
197
00:12:11,649 --> 00:12:13,730
- Is he here yet?
- No.
198
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:15,793
I mean, he probably won't come.
199
00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:17,919
There is the pie of the shepherd
on the stove.
200
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,248
- How did it go?
- It went.
201
00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:25,054
Tissue box come in useful?
202
00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:26,596
You have no idea, John.
203
00:12:26,721 --> 00:12:29,784
- You're very welcome.
- Anyone going to ask me about my day?
204
00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:31,796
- How was your day, darling?
- Oh, fuck!
205
00:12:31,921 --> 00:12:34,596
Oh, God! Spoon! Spoon!
Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
206
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,368
It was meant to be a surprise,
207
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:38,849
cos I've still got a spare set of keys.
208
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:40,485
Well, keys on the floor.
209
00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:46,563
- I'm sorry.
- Don't touch me.
210
00:12:46,688 --> 00:12:47,811
Hey, hands off the goods, mate!
211
00:12:47,937 --> 00:12:49,893
- Oh, fuck off, Peter.
- You heard the women!
212
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:53,148
Look, come on, all right, let's just...
213
00:12:53,274 --> 00:12:55,601
Let's start again, huh?
214
00:12:56,995 --> 00:12:59,596
You must be Pete.
I'm Elliot.
215
00:12:59,721 --> 00:13:01,202
It's Peter, actually.
216
00:13:01,328 --> 00:13:03,127
- This is Sami, our friend.
- Yeah, yeah.
217
00:13:03,253 --> 00:13:05,073
I've heard all about this one.
218
00:13:05,696 --> 00:13:06,987
Now, where is he?
219
00:13:12,193 --> 00:13:13,393
Oh!
220
00:13:13,676 --> 00:13:15,164
Your hulked out!
221
00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:17,530
- Man of the house.
- Yeah!
222
00:13:18,721 --> 00:13:19,970
Man.
223
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,766
So, I've come bearing gifts.
224
00:13:23,892 --> 00:13:25,946
No, no, we are not drinking tonight.
225
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,595
Yeah?
Well, some of us aren't.
226
00:13:27,721 --> 00:13:30,251
Anyway, me neither.
I've given up.
227
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,227
Ha!
Given up!
228
00:13:32,357 --> 00:13:33,557
I'm in recovery, Katy.
229
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:37,193
- What's that, AA, or...
- No, it's a Christian faith group.
230
00:13:37,319 --> 00:13:39,615
- I've been a member since last year.
- Have you?
231
00:13:39,741 --> 00:13:42,656
I mean, God, I was a real
see you next Tuesday.
232
00:13:42,892 --> 00:13:44,007
Cunt.
233
00:13:44,212 --> 00:13:47,029
Now I'm more of a see you this Sunday.
234
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,374
- What are you doing?
- Getting the corkscrew.
235
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,995
- No.
- Look, he's fine. I want a drink.
236
00:13:56,121 --> 00:13:57,676
Do you want a hand there, Pete?
237
00:13:57,801 --> 00:14:00,276
Yes, it's Peter, and I'm fine.
It just gets a bit stuck sometimes.
238
00:14:00,401 --> 00:14:03,784
She's a little bit temperamental.
She just needs a little bit of a bash.
239
00:14:04,066 --> 00:14:06,346
That your solution to everything,
isn't it?
240
00:14:11,761 --> 00:14:13,393
So, Damascus, right?
241
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,361
- Yes.
- Bloody hell.
242
00:14:19,524 --> 00:14:22,378
Good effort.
Good effort.
243
00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:25,556
- Were you in The Jungle?
- The...?
244
00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:27,815
No, it was taken down by
the time I got to Calais.
245
00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:30,356
Do you know, we came very close to
getting Lionel Richie
246
00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:31,841
to do a show and in The Jungle.
247
00:14:31,966 --> 00:14:33,881
Elliot's in events management.
248
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,041
- Music.
- Lionel Richie.
249
00:14:37,241 --> 00:14:38,918
God, he'd have been great.
250
00:14:39,241 --> 00:14:40,668
Cos he's a festival guy.
251
00:14:41,238 --> 00:14:44,161
You know, he would have been very
at home in a tented environment.
252
00:14:44,531 --> 00:14:47,567
I don't know about you, but I was
really looking forward to seeing him
253
00:14:47,692 --> 00:14:52,380
looking out over a sea of 10,000
refugees and singing Easy.
254
00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:55,595
That would have been very special.
255
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,029
I got something for you.
256
00:14:59,281 --> 00:15:01,241
- What is this?
- It's a book.
257
00:15:02,374 --> 00:15:05,538
And it contains the most beautiful
poem in the English language.
258
00:15:05,664 --> 00:15:08,463
If-by Rudyard Kipling.
259
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:12,111
- Do you like Kipling?
- I don't know, I've never kipled.
260
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:19,197
If you can make a heap
of all your winnings
261
00:15:19,924 --> 00:15:24,047
And risk them on one turn
of pitch-and-toss
262
00:15:24,312 --> 00:15:27,930
And lose, and start again
263
00:15:28,859 --> 00:15:30,656
from your beginnings...
264
00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:35,675
Cos that's you, isn't it?
265
00:15:37,044 --> 00:15:38,550
And that's me.
266
00:15:39,627 --> 00:15:41,365
We're in the same boat.
267
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,423
Different boats.
268
00:15:43,573 --> 00:15:45,941
Anyway, let it be a meditation.
269
00:15:47,161 --> 00:15:49,450
It's got me through more than
one triathlon.
270
00:15:50,982 --> 00:15:52,737
Thank you, Elliot.
271
00:15:53,081 --> 00:15:55,362
What kind of music do you like?
272
00:15:55,732 --> 00:15:57,073
I don't know.
273
00:15:57,518 --> 00:15:59,453
K-pop?
BTS?
274
00:16:00,161 --> 00:16:02,431
- Not really.
- No, me neither.
275
00:16:03,281 --> 00:16:07,116
The latest ASAP Rocky and Post Malone,
276
00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:08,876
but strictly confidential.
277
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,236
Nice!
278
00:16:10,498 --> 00:16:12,056
Do you want to go to a concert sometime?
279
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:15,398
Do you think you're ready
for the Brixton Academy?
280
00:16:15,524 --> 00:16:17,641
OK, maybe we should slow things down.
281
00:16:17,767 --> 00:16:20,693
- What you mean, slow down?
- John, Sami is just...
282
00:16:20,819 --> 00:16:22,455
What do you mean, Sami?
283
00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:25,673
Elliot has not been
here for a long time, John.
284
00:16:26,782 --> 00:16:28,134
Maybe not get his hopes up.
285
00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:29,580
You can talk.
286
00:16:30,814 --> 00:16:32,299
You left your family too.
287
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,660
Yes.
288
00:16:34,401 --> 00:16:35,713
Yes, I have.
289
00:16:36,361 --> 00:16:38,589
Same boat after all.
290
00:16:42,161 --> 00:16:43,643
- Maybe it's best if I...
- Of course.
291
00:16:43,768 --> 00:16:45,192
We won't be long.
292
00:16:47,115 --> 00:16:48,590
Nice to meet you, Elliot.
293
00:16:48,802 --> 00:16:50,197
Assalaamu Alaikum.
294
00:16:50,323 --> 00:16:51,948
Right back at you.
295
00:16:58,558 --> 00:17:01,875
John, can you give us five minutes, baby?
A word.
296
00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:03,233
Mm.
297
00:17:13,804 --> 00:17:17,630
Look, I know. I know! I'm sorry.
I just got carried away...
298
00:17:18,110 --> 00:17:20,975
because it's so good to see him again.
299
00:17:22,887 --> 00:17:24,407
And see you again.
300
00:17:26,401 --> 00:17:28,506
- Meet you and Pete.
- Peter. It's Peter.
301
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:31,404
Everything that you do and say
302
00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:33,835
from now on will be carved
on my son's heart.
303
00:17:33,961 --> 00:17:35,961
You do realise that, Elliot?
He'll forget nothing.
304
00:17:36,086 --> 00:17:38,147
I'm not that guy any more, Kate.
305
00:17:38,587 --> 00:17:42,517
I know I used to drink
wine like it was water,
306
00:17:42,643 --> 00:17:46,374
but now my new landlord turns
water into wine.
307
00:17:47,281 --> 00:17:51,956
I just want a chance to start to
play a bigger part in a John's life.
308
00:17:52,081 --> 00:17:53,686
Why would I give a shit about what
you want?
309
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,350
Because I'm his father.
310
00:17:55,476 --> 00:17:57,131
No, you're not.
311
00:17:58,401 --> 00:18:01,156
There's a difference
between acting like a father
312
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,161
and acting like Father Christmas.
313
00:18:04,523 --> 00:18:07,278
And I'm smelling reindeer shit
right up your driveway, mate.
314
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,223
Ho-ho-ho!
315
00:18:11,245 --> 00:18:13,203
Is because I cut off
the mortgage repayments?
316
00:18:13,329 --> 00:18:15,852
- Absolutely not.
- Because if you're struggling financially...
317
00:18:15,977 --> 00:18:17,562
Oh, were not struggling.
318
00:18:18,562 --> 00:18:20,938
- Everything is going great, right? Schools good?
- Right.
319
00:18:21,063 --> 00:18:22,916
And you're in, what, construction?
320
00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:25,264
Can't build them quick enough, mate.
Busy as a bee.
321
00:18:26,424 --> 00:18:27,808
What are you talking about?
322
00:18:28,923 --> 00:18:30,563
Don't shut me out.
323
00:18:38,605 --> 00:18:39,934
Don't shut me out.
324
00:19:27,844 --> 00:19:31,227
Thank you very much for your hospitality.
325
00:19:31,761 --> 00:19:35,231
- I'll be in touch.
- Absolutely no rush whatsoever.
326
00:19:36,665 --> 00:19:38,350
Can I see the tattoo?
327
00:19:39,341 --> 00:19:41,564
- You want to see the ink?
- I want to see the ink.
328
00:19:46,232 --> 00:19:49,544
- Oh, the Phoenix!
- Yeah, I got that done back in the wild days.
329
00:19:50,765 --> 00:19:52,537
It's a beautiful design, though.
330
00:19:53,005 --> 00:19:54,685
Completely to scale.
331
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,974
Anatomically accurate.
332
00:19:57,301 --> 00:19:59,415
Sorry, anatomically accurate?
333
00:19:59,711 --> 00:20:02,016
- Phoenixes don't exist.
- I know.
334
00:20:02,142 --> 00:20:04,867
- So, it's completely realistic if it was real?
- Exactly.
335
00:20:04,993 --> 00:20:06,636
Oh, I see.
Thank you so much for that.
336
00:20:06,761 --> 00:20:09,196
I was thinking of having a complete
sleeve done.
337
00:20:09,393 --> 00:20:13,425
Yeah. I'm going to undergo
the traditional Polynesian method.
338
00:20:13,551 --> 00:20:15,831
The Maoris call it ta moko.
339
00:20:16,175 --> 00:20:19,364
And they carve the ink into the skin
340
00:20:19,490 --> 00:20:23,414
using chisels made out of albatross bark.
341
00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:26,396
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah. I can take up to 24 hours.
342
00:20:26,521 --> 00:20:32,080
It's unbelievably painful,
but it's considered a rite of passage.
343
00:20:32,206 --> 00:20:33,841
Trial by fire.
344
00:20:34,121 --> 00:20:36,029
Are you going to New Zealand?
345
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:39,094
Natalie Imbruglia says
she knows a guy in Egham.
346
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,276
Nice.
347
00:20:40,401 --> 00:20:41,628
I've got a tattoo.
348
00:20:42,401 --> 00:20:44,641
- Yeah?
- No, you don't.
349
00:20:47,094 --> 00:20:49,677
Erm...
Peter, no.
350
00:20:58,569 --> 00:21:00,236
I didn't know you had that.
351
00:21:00,361 --> 00:21:01,611
Are those...
352
00:21:03,081 --> 00:21:05,118
- coordinates?
- Mm-hm.
353
00:21:05,462 --> 00:21:08,806
- Of whom?
- First construction job I ever worked on.
354
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,504
It's a retail Park in Stevenage.
355
00:21:12,630 --> 00:21:14,800
Isn't it supposed to be of your baby?
356
00:21:14,926 --> 00:21:17,375
Can be.
Babies or retail parks.
357
00:21:17,501 --> 00:21:19,019
Maybe get that lasered off.
358
00:21:19,628 --> 00:21:24,371
Or have unprotected sex
with my ex-wife in Stevenage.
359
00:21:26,761 --> 00:21:28,146
Got to go.
360
00:21:28,761 --> 00:21:30,046
Come here.
361
00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:36,437
- I'm going to see you really soon.
- Love you, dad.
362
00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:40,761
I love you too.
363
00:22:29,756 --> 00:22:34,356
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364
00:22:34,406 --> 00:22:38,956
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