Original subtitles

(light jingle)

(light piano with crashing)

(light guitar music)

* I do not know you

* You ran off and changed

* You are not the same

* You do not exist in my head anymore, no *

* The tides are changing

* I bet you hate it

* But you caused it

* Oh, you caused it

* And just like that you disappeared *

* When you come right back, I'm gonna be here *

* But I left when you were gone *

* I left when you were gone

* You think it's like a player

* Little thing I'll see you later *

* Goodbye baby

(dramatic piano music)

(bottle opening)

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Is that it?

- No.

No, there's more.

There's actually a lot more.

I just haven't figure out how to breach it.

- I'm open to you Connor, I always have been.

- Not just me.

Right?

- We agreed to play this full out, didn't we?

- We did, we did.

I mean you played it a little more full

than I expected you to.

- You played your way, I played mine.

No judgment, remember?

- I do, yes, I remember I do.

- Are we over?

- You tell me.

- So you don't have to be first.

- I never thought that I would feel for her

the way that I did.

- We had one plan, God had another.

- That's very big of you to say,

but I want to know what you felt?

- [Maggie] Excuse me?

- You heard me, what did you feel

that you didn't feel with me.

That's the whole point of this, right?

So we can figure out some things for ourselves.

- Yes, it was.

- All right, then, so don't pretend

that this is just some crazy thing to ask.

It's hard enough to ask once.

- I guess I felt accepted, okay, enough.

I was okay.

Better than okay, she made me feel perfect.

- Oh, perfect?

Oh, well, it's been a long time

since you felt perfect with me.

- Because you no longer seem to need what I have to give.

- [Sincere] Oh, so somehow, this is all my fault.

- No, it's not anybody's fault, Sin, it just it what it is.

Look, and from what I understand it's not

so far off from you experienced.

- Well, Connor was open to me.

He willingly opened up to me.

He was willing to go deep, real deep,

as deep as I wanted to go.

- Convicts will do that, use as his leverage for later.

- Was your time with her somehow more real

because you're both morally upstanding citizens.

You know, newsflash, buddy, I'm a criminal, too, okay.

I don't know if you forgot, but that's what you married.

I'm a criminal, too, so what do you think,

I just don't feel?

Huh, is that why it was just so easy

for you to desecrate our marriage.

- I broke my fucking promise to you, yes.

Yes, and fuck.

She got to me.

- Oh.

- She made me feel things that I didn't

even know that I was capable of feeling

and I know what I promised you,

but I need you to fucking hear this, Sin.

'Cause you of all fucking people,

you know how devoid of fucking emotion I was,

walking around this whole fucking house

like a zombie.

And yes, I had to sleep with her to get rid of it.

- Is the reason that you could let her in

and not let me in, it's because of my past, right?

Let's just be honest,

let's just put it all on the table.

You can't get past my past, right?

Just say it Dallas, shit, just say it.

- I wanted to protect you.

I wanted to protect you and keep

all the ugliness away from you so you could be okay.

All right, so I took it all.

Away from you so you could be okay.

I took it all.

- You know what, I needed that, I did need that,

I needed that and I don't need it anymore.

You know why Dallas?

Because we can never be equal,

we can never be partners.

You will always be carrying my burden

and I'll get nothing from you

and sooner or later our marriage has to turn.

- Just toxic.

That's what I see, that's what I feel.

This competition between us Sawyer

is driving me absolutely crazy.

- That was never my intentions.

- I never said that.

- Well, sometimes you make it think

you think it was.

Sometimes you even act like it was.

- That's only because I see it through

the lens of you trying to break me down

to build yourself up.

- Okay, I've done that, I have, I'll admit it.

Mostly only when you're trying to shove it in my face

how much further you are along than I am

in my career.

- No, that's only because I hear you talk

about how much you want to be a champion,

but then you don't want to put in the work, Sawyer.

I'm not trying to brag.

I just wanted to show you that if I could do it,

I know that you could do it, too.

- See, I always knew that I could do it baby.

I possess the talent to be a champion.

I didn't need you to show me that.

- So what did you need.

- I needed for it to be okay if I didn't want that.

- Want what?

- To be a fighter.

I don't have the same passion that you have for it baby.

Being the best, it's just not that important

to me no more.

- Are you serious?

- [Sawyer] I am.

- What else would you even do?

- I've been thinking a lot about my writing.

I think I want to be a writer.

- What about everything else

that you've worked for so hard over these years?

What about the gym?

You would just throw that all away?

- No, I'm not throwing anything away.

I'm just closing that chapter in my life.

And the gym, you can just buy me out.

I mean, you own most of it anyway.

- I could never imagine not being a fighter.

I don't know any fighter who would not

want to be a fighter.

- See.

Do you see how you looking at me right now?

That is the main reason why it was

so hard for me to tell you in the first place.

- Come on, you ain't have to say it Diandra.

I knew the from the day, from the minute

we got together you were afraid of me.

I can build a bridge, baby,

but you gotta walk across it.

- You were not the only one who's gone through hardships.

I lost my mother when I was 13

and 13 is when a young lady, when she needs her mother

and I could have made choices

that I wouldn't have been proud of, but I didn't.

I am proud of who I am.

I'm proud of who I have become

despite of all of my hardships.

- I'm proud of you, too, baby.

I mean you did, so why couldn't I do the same, right?

Huh?

Your mother, she left you millions, right.

I mean not just one, two, I'm talking about

more money than most people would see

in three lifetimes.

And she was this amazing woman

who massed this incredible fortune

and she left everything,

she left everything to you.

You know what?

I'm not gonna do this.

I'm not gonna stand here and go tit for tat with you.

I apologize and I'm sorry, very sorry that

you lost your mother, I really am,

but the fact that you could stand here

and say some shit like that to me

tells me you don't deserve to know me like that.

- I never slept with Connor.

- Okay, I don't remember asking.

Is this something we need to talk about?

- Do you love her?

- Yes.

- Then why come back to me?

- Real things happen in an unreal setup.

I needed to come back and figure out

how I really feel about you.

- Maybe you never really loved me to begin with.

- Of course I fell in love with you to begin with.

That's why I married-

- You sure it isn't pity?

Looks a lot like love Dallas?

- No, I'm not sure it didn't begin-

- I can't, I don't, I can't.

I don't even want to know what she was like.

- Why didn't you sleep with him?

- Why do you care?

- Are you serious, because you're my wife.

- You know what, I liked it a lot better

when you didn't talk to me at all.

- You have feelings for him?

- Yes, I do, I have feelings for him.

- So why did you come back here?

- Because we're doing this experiment Dallas.

We're supposed to decide-

- You're not answering the question.

- I did answer the question.

Jesus.

Dallas.

Dallas.

The day you had to do the experiment,

it was actually pretty good, because you know what?

My entire life I have felt like

I wasn't worthy of being loved.

And now I know that I am.

What about you Dallas?

Did she do that for you?

- Yeah.

- Then it did what it was supposed to do.

We need to see each other as two whole people,

not two empty shells.

That's why I came back here Dallas.

I came back here for us so that I could see you

and you could see me from a place of wholeness.

We owe that to each other.

- No, no, you do not owe me anything.

So if you are here for some sense of obligation,

set yourself free.

You're free.

- Fuck you Dallas.

(gentle piano music)

- You might getting inside and starting it up for me.

(engine revving)

- Ooh, that doesn't sound too good.

- Piston's misfiring.

- I think maybe we misfired, too.

I mean partly my fault.

Something I never shared with you before.

How I was feeling.

- Talking about the same sex situation?

Come on Caroline, you think I don't know you by now?

- Well, I mean.

I don't think I'm actually gay.

I just.

I don't know what I am right now.

- Yeah.

- Well, I guess that makes two of us,

but whatever it takes to make you happy,

because I can't be happy if you're not happy.

- Saw.

That was like crazy romantic of you.

But how would this work

if I'm still trying to explore to find myself?

- I don't know.

Maybe we don't work, I mean not as husband and wife,

maybe just as friends.

- So are you saying that?

- I'm saying that I'm with whatever,

whatever it takes and this incarnation

to see what it looks like.

- What do you want it to be?

- I don't know.

Maybe I need to find myself, too.

- What would it look like?

- What would what look like?

- You'd really just start all over again,

give up on everything you've worked for over the years,

because Saw, you're so close.

- I guess I'll still fight for now.

But I want to write, Car, you know maybe

a short story of something or a play.

See where it takes me.

- Seems silly now.

The competition thing, it seems silly.

- [Sawyer] Car, it was silly.

- Maybe now we can just actually talk.

- Talk.

I think that might be good for us.

- Were you in love with Maggie?

- I like him.

I like him a lot.

- Enough to sleep with him?

- Yes.

He's good for me.

I mean he's a bit young, though, I don't know.

It was like a fantasy and how do you know

how much, what you might have been feeling is real

and how much is it just me getting

swept up in the experiment.

- How can you even think.

You don't respect me.

You don't respect our marriage.

- That's not true.

So, if, if you didn't sleep with her,

then what did you do?

I mean how intimate did you get?

- Intimate.

- Did you want her?

- [Carson] Yes.

- But you didn't, you didn't have her.

- Maggie, no.

- But she's beautiful.

And you didn't just-

- I took vows.

To death do us part.

To me it's a literal thing.

I told you that I would never forsake you

a long as we were married and we're still married.

Yes, it's messed up, but we're still married.

- But I needed to feel rid of you Carson,

so I would know how I felt about you.

That's why.

That's why I could sleep with him

and not have the guilt hanging over me.

I convinced myself that I had to be me

in order to stay alive.

Hear Carson.

I was heading down a very ugly place being with you.

I had to know that if my life didn't involve you,

what does that look like.

- So you're defending sleeping with him?

- No, I'm not, I'm explaining, giving reason for it,

not excusing it.

Do you understand?

- We've been opened up by other people.

The question is are we open with each other?

Or did we lend ourselves to this experiment in vain?

- Carson.

She would have been two years old.

I look at you and I think we can't live like this.

We can't live with what could be, what would be.

And yes, I can.

But that's if you still want me.

Do you still want me?

- I want my wife back.

- I'm sorry I hurt you.

Baby, I'm sorry I hurt you.

- I got five.

- I gotta watch you.

How you get five.

Here you go.

It's kind of weird being home,

not going to work or anything.

- Yeah, well no outside influences,

no family, no friends, no work.

Just me and you.

- Yep.

- Are we done?

- Let me ask you this.

If we do stay together, what are we fighting for?

- Are you asking me why we fell in love?

- [Carson] Well, if that's the answer to the question, yes,

that's what I'm asking you.

- Well, we'll be fighting for all

the good times that we had.

You made me laugh at myself and how

we'd spend all day together, make love all night long.

And how we just couldn't get enough of each other.

- And we'd watch movies, discuss the plot

while we ate chocolate ice cream.

And cake.

Stay in bed all day on Sunday.

It was all the things we did before

you found out where I really came from.

What's so hard for you to get past Diandra?

- Play.

Let's just say that I've never operated

in the minors before and you not only operate there,

but you thrive there.

A part of me feels like you really don't deserve

a chance at a normal life.

Maybe that's a horrible thing for a wife

to say to her husband.

- No, I mean I get it.

I understand now.

I understand why Dallas is so attractive to you

because his wounds are honorable.

Mine are dishonorable.

I mean the bad guy's not supposed to win,

so I get what I deserve.

At least it's honest.

It's a lot better than we were doing

before the experiment.

- Why didn't you sleep with her?

Domino.

(phone buzzing)

(text tones)

- What?

Here.

- Best night we've had in a minute, huh?

- She has a perfect body, does she not?

- She does.

Athletically toned in the right places,

knows how to use it, too.

I mean is that what you want to hear?

- Only if it's the truth.

- What about our truth?

When are we gonna talk about that.

- There's something that I need to tell you.

(phone buzzing)

Do you need to get that?

- No, what were you saying?

- Okay.

Um, okay, so.

(phone buzzing)

- What?

(text tones)

All right, I gotta use the bathroom, I'm sorry.

Give me a second.

- White flag, I come in peace.

- That's the most we've joked in two years.

- I see myself better.

I see us better, too.

- [Sincere] What do you see?

- I see a burnt out old cop afraid

that the woman, the wife he saved

is becoming this wonderful doctor,

making more money than him,

traveling in better circles than he ever could.

- Dallas.

- [Dallas] She doesn't need him.

- Dallas.

- I'm saying it's okay.

True or not, that's how I feel.

How crazy is it that I am saying I'm

feeling anything again.

I have you to thank for that.

- Well, the experiment was your idea.

You have Diandra to thank for that.

But if you are feeling again,

then I get to be the first in line to know you like that.

I deserve that Dallas.

- [Dallas] Connor?

- Yes, yes, Dallas I have a special place

in my heart for him, but that was all fantasy,

put on my a bunch of people that we never saw,

doing the experiment that would never happen otherwise.

Connor isn't you.

- Are you thinking what I think you're saying?

- Well, if you think I'm saying

we're not done, then yes.

It's your move cowboy.

(phone buzzing)

(text tones)

* I've been busy all day

* Trying to figure out what I'm gonna say to fix it *

* And I've been thinking all day *

* What I'm gonna do to my head

* It's quarter past eight

- Excuse me.

- You're okay, you're good.

* And I'm so glad I found my side *

* Yeah, I'm so glad you never mind *

* So I will just love me

* Before I look for your love, I'm a give it to me *

* If I ever get love, I could give it to me *

* Won't look for your love, I'm a give it to me *

* If I ever need love I'm a give it to me *

* Da, da, da, da

* I will just love you

(sighing)

- She wouldn't.

She and Dallas made an agreement which he broke.

Not her.

She didn't.

At least not all the way anyway.

- Okay.

- We talked instead.

- Talked about what?

- Life mostly.

Before and after.

It was a common theme between us.

- So you're saying-

- Yes, I'm saying that she understood me

on a personal level, yes.

- I see.

- Don't seem like you and Dallas did much talking.

- He's more of the intense silent type,

but we had our moments.

Did you want to?

- Of course, we got close.

For me it would have been a natural expression.

- Did you ever think about me when you guys were talking.

- That's an interesting question.

And yes, I did.

Little comparisons lit me up

like a pinball machine inside.

Like lots of our moments.

- Like?

- Like I need to celebrate my accomplishments more

and transition doesn't put me behind the eight ball.

It's actually a courageous and Herculean effort

that should be applauded every step of the way by me

and only me.

- She taught you that?

- Well, Sincere is really good

at demystifying my demons.

For this I'm indebted to her.

- So where does that leave us?

- Did you ask Dallas that?

- Yes, I did.

- And?

- I'm supposed to meet him right after the decision.

- And you already know what that is?

- I thought I did, but I'm not so sure.

- So, because someone else wants me,

now I'm more desirable?

- Still my husband.

- True indeed, but only success can wash away my sins.

Right?

What do we do in the meantime dear?

- We applaud your accomplishments.

(phone buzzing)

- Hold that thought.

- It's almost decision time.

Something you should know first.

- Number one, both say divorce.

Neither one gets anything.

All assets sold off.

- Money given to charity including all

funds made from The Experiment.

- One says divorce, one says stay together.

- The one who says divorce will get everything.

- All assets including all funds made

from The Experiment, are you serious right now?

- One says divorce, one says stay together,

the one who says divorce will get everything,

all assets, including all funds

made from The Experiment.

- Number three, both says stay together.

Both receive triple the value of all assets,

including funds made from The Experiment.

Don't tell her.

- Don't tell him.

What?

- Don't tell him.

- Don't tell him.

- What happened?

(funky techno music)

(static)

- It's time.

(funky music)

- Did you turn it on?

- I think it turned itself on.

- [Computer Voice] What's it going to be?

Are you staying together or not?

- Why don't you people ever show yourselves, huh?

- [Computer Voice] We do not want to influence

the research with our presence.

We change what we observe.

- I'm not even sure that that means.

- It means they don't want us to know who they are.

- I must admit, this whole experiment

has messed me up pretty good.

- To the point where I don't even

know who I am anymore, which is crazy strange.

- [Computer Voice] Your decision please.

And remember, whatever you say here

cannot be unsaid.

All decisions are final.

- Very grateful for this.

- Last night we both agreed that we should-

- Okay, there's something that I should tell you

before you say anything else.

- You sure, like right now.

- Yeah, this can't wait.

Oh, God, um, Carson, I'm-

* I haven't figured out why

* I'm the only one

* That's feeling any kind of pain *

* When you say goodbye

* It's like we never even happened *

* I can tell you don't feel a thing *

* So I went to the bottle and I hit rock bottom *

* All I saw was clouds and rain *

* And now I'm in denial

* Think of these trials

* 'Cause love has got me going insane *

* I'm falling in and out of sleep *

* My heart is no longer responding *

* This love is now a tragedy

* These nights keep turning to morning *

* Baby, 'cause I'm running

* Trying to get away from you

* Tell me what I ought to do

* Why you're not here

* Tell me why I'm missing you

* I just can't get over you

* I don't want to smoke these cigarettes *

* Drink this vodka

* Throw away my blues

* I think I need a real job

* I just wanna get away

* Far away from you

* I just can't get over you

* Smoke it out

* Throw it up

* Fill my up

* All because I never could

* Smoke it out

* Throw it up

* Fill up

* All because I never knew

* I think that it's about time

* That I start crying and pick myself *

* Off the floor

* And I wish that I could stop

* Detour and get the stranger out the mirror *

* 'Cause this girl I see, well she just ain't me *

* And I know it's just a matter of time *

* Till I get back to the girl I used to be *

* But until then

* I'm falling in and out of sleep *

* My heart is no longer responding *

* This love is now a tragedy

* These nights keep turning to morning *

* Baby 'cause I'm running, trying to get away from you *

* Tell me what I ought to do