Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.BZ

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ

You're a bit... Go a bit... There, that's the spot.

Don't worry.

Rolling.

Okay, Antonio, ready.

When you hear "action".

Okay.

Pay close attention to...

More than singing loud now, Antonio, in this part...

Get up on the rock and sing looking at the sea.

Good, great, great.

A thorn stuck...

on the top of my mountain...

and a cloud settled...

on my...

on my spider's web.

God knows

what happened, happened, happened.

You know what my pain is.

Oh, please, give me warmth.

Alba, you sing. Sing, Alba.

Come on, now you, Alba.

And a thorn stuck

on the top of my mountain...

and a cloud settled...

on my spider's web.

And God knows what happened,

it's written on my insides.

-What do you want? -The purse.

What?

What do you want?

Dad.

I was a bit angry with him when he died.

Were those the final memories with him?

Yes.

Do you, of that day...?

Your mother told you that Dad went to heaven...

-Yes. -You have no memory?

Not of that day, because...

I had no farewell, I didn't go to the funeral.

Until I was much older I didn't go to the cemetery.

The whole singing thing is about that.

This is part of that process of....

trying to understand, to understand him,

his way of living and his way of dying

FLOWERS FOR ANTONIO

DRAWINGS, SONGS, DEMOS AND SOUNDS FROM THE UNRELEASED TAPES OF ANTONIO

One, two, three...

Listen, have you thought about...

singing at Dad's concert?

Think about it.

Yeah, well, let's see.

Think about it because you may regret it later.

I understand that it's what people expect, but...

Yes, it's logical that his daughter sings a song, you know?

But, that aside,

the last time I did it was with you twenty years ago,

singing one of Dad's songs. And I had an awful time, remember.

-If I did do it... -It's not about singing incredibly,

it's about singing with all the love you have for him.

We've never done a tribute concert.

-It wasn't done at the time. -It wasn't brought up, no.

I saw that the years were going by and...

we hadn't done anything

-with Dad's music. So... -I understand, Mom.

Look, aren't you planning a concert?

Then I'll do a documentary, starting now.

-The camera's covered. -Oh, shit.

Did you see? A whole crew appears as if by magic

to do... da-dah!

-So? -So...

Wait, wait, wait.

Action.

My son was born the prettiest boy in the world.

Dark eyes, chubby. Divine, divine.

This is just an album from when Dad was born.

It's newspapers and newspapers. "Loliyo was born".

Loliyo?

That's great, amazing.

That aside, it was also a jam-packed baptism.

Aline Quintanilla, your father's godmother, was at the baptism.

-She was a spy, wasn't she? -The American spy.

Antonio Ordóñez, his godfather, a bullfighter.

-Ava Gardner. -Ava Gardner.

-Did Frank Sinatra go? -No, Frank Sinatra didn't.

Ava Gardner was no longer with Frank Sinatra.

Looking at all of Dad's songs, it's funny that...

he wrote about a lot of things,

but there don't seem to be any from his childhood,

which I've been asked about. To be able to understand how he was as a boy too.

I was born with it. As soon as I was born,

coming out of my mom's vagina, they took a photo of me.

I was reluctantly famous. "There goes Lola Flores' boy".

I saw my mom every 6 months, she'd come, bring me presents,

take me to parties, she taught me what love was,

what it was to love your family.

Things I wasn't taught in school.

These are my children.

These are my best trophies, my best awards.

I remember a happy childhood by my brother's side.

Very happy, very spoiled, very loved, very protected.

There was enough discipline, but...

not a very strict one.

So we were very free, very wild,

because my house was art,

partying, joy, love.

-We were children of artists. -Of course.

Yes, but that was as important as studying.

No, it was more important than studying.

In the house of Lola Flores there were two options:

you lasted two days or stayed for the rest of your life.

Because it wasn't a normal house,

it was a house of nerves.

There were five or six people, who were the family,

or there were thirty.

We never knew what was going to happen.

What was my father like when you knew him?

Your father was a bohemian, very noble, the best in the house.

He was out of the ordinary.

He liked to paint, he made collages.

-He was very creative. -He painted very well,

you wouldn't believe the caricatures he did.

Then he was a great athlete,

everything he did in gymnastics he did well.

What sports did he do?

For example, if we water-skied in Marbella, he skied well.

If we went to tennis, he'd play well.

He played football,

because Dad took him to Real Madrid to play, and he was good.

What would you like to do when you grow up? Look there.

-An engineer and a footballer. -Engineer and a what?

-And a footballer. -We're going to be millionaires, right?

YOUR FATHER ANTONIO GONZÁLEZ "EL PESCAÍLLA"

Granddad taught Dad to play the guitar.

-Yeah? -When he was twelve or so

Dad was already telling him: "You have to pick up the guitar".

My brother did so and Dad would teach him his chords.

In the movie "El Taxi de los Conflictos", in which she dances,

Antonio is keeping rhythm with a guitar bigger than him.

He'd start to do something and really look into it.

He's a lot like you that way.

I knew your father because he went to LAE School.

YOUR FRIEND CHIRRO

I had friends there and we'd meet there.

Did you know who he was when you met him?

Yes, I knew he was Lola Flores' son, of course.

-And we called him "Lolo". -Lolo?

"Lolo". We'd call Antonio "Lolo".

Here I am. Hello, hello.

We used to sneak into the hotel pools

and then, my brother and I, as soon as we were in the hotel

splashing into the pool, the pool guy was like...

"You, out! You, out!". To my brother and me.

None of our friends ever got caught.

My brother would say to me: "You got kicked out again?

Why did they kick you out? Fuck, you always get caught."

I'd say: "They always get you too! It was for being Gypsies.

Your father was a Gypsy, one of the first Gypsies

who were rockers.

YOUR BUDDY ANTONIO CARMONA

He'd suddenly kiss you on the lips

and I'd say: "Antonio, Gypsies don't do that.

Don't kiss me on the lips".

And he'd do it again, give you a smacker.

He had the life he wanted.

When you met him, did he already want to be a musician?

He always did, yes.

He always wanted to be a singer, a rock musician.

He'd hold your hand like this and start playing it

as if he had a guitar, because you were outside with no guitar.

He'd say, "Look what I made up", and he'd sing you a song.

Maybe we'd be out partying, having dinner, I don't know,

and your grandma would call and say:

"Where are you? You left without telling me".

Or we'd be in Pachá

and she'd come out partying where we were.

That was where I met Lola.

The day I met her really impacted me

because, of course, meeting Lola Flores was...

Action!

I don't want anyone touching my vineyards!

-Mom... -For some reason I am...

-I'm your lawyer. -... Doña Dolores Channing.

I'm an artist. A myth. I'm an idol.

No, I'm not ordinary, that's the truth.

What was the relationship between my father and grandmother like?

More than mother and son, friends. It was a grand thing.

I can't explain it.

Someone with a higher education should explain it,

because I can explain it as just a guy.

They were one and the same person.

-That's my mom. -We both had the same idea.

-You look alike, now you do. -You look like me.

You'd better look like me. Do you look like each other?

-Not me. -Look at me. Come here.

Dad and I do. Look, come.

Oh, my granddad!

That profile is something else. And the other profile?

-I can't see the profile. -No, but...

No, no, this one's better. So he learns.

-That's better, Antonio. The right one. -This is mine. This is mine.

-The right one is your best side. -This is mine.

No, this one...

-Yes. -Mine's the right one.

-This is the profile. -For me, which one? This?

Put this one on for me...

My parents, coming back from America, would bring lots of records.

I remember being on the terrace we had in María de Molina,

we had a record player there, so my brother and I...

We'd listen to everything. I recall James Brown's "Sex Machine"

because, sure, we'd listen to music that wasn't heard yet.

We're going to talk about Antonio,

that man who has the courage to be a rocker

and was born into an eminently non-rocker family.

The image of Antonio in the street wasn't...

what he felt at home.

So I analyzed it all pretty well,

saw what I wanted to do, and began to have friends who were always older than me.

Payos as well, that is, non-Gypsies.

They introduced me to music, to the Stones,

to Status Quo, when they were...

I'm interested in that music, there's something that moves me.

And until you get older...

The first record you buy is that music.

I was knocked out by the electric guitar.

First I bought a drum kit when I was ten,

the Three Kings gave it to me,

and I picked up the guitar, saying: "I'm going to compose". I wrote

"No Dudaría".

If I could forget everything I was,

if I could erase everything I saw,

I wouldn't hesitate,

I wouldn't hesitate to laugh again.

If I could explain the lives I took,

if I could burn the weapons I used,

I wouldn't hesitate,

I wouldn't hesitate to laugh again.

"No Dudaría" suddenly came on on the radio

and that was when I suddenly thought:

"That's funny, a hippie now?".

It was the 80s,

everyone was into the latest thing,

it seemed like nothing existed before the Ramones,

and suddenly Antonio appeared.

He'd talk to you about blues, Jimi Hendrix,

with a totally old-fashioned aesthetic at one point,

with his overalls and long hair...

He was striking in that sense,

very much his own man.

I promise to see the joy,

to learn from the experience,

but never...

ever to use violence again.

He was upset because they'd put in lots of violins, and whatever,

and he wanted drums, guitar, bass,

and not the "philharmonic"

-that they'd recorded. -Sure.

He didn't like the first record because of that.

...two, three and...

We had to obey at first. They gave us a producer,

and arranger, whether you liked it or not.

He wanted a different sound, a sound that was him.

Again, let's see.

I think he wanted to do it himself,

but he wasn't quite ready yet.

Sure, he saw himself more as a rocker.

Hey, for sure.

They put him in the countryside, but his pose...

I don't want anyone telling me

what I have to do or not

or anyone running my life

because I'm how I should be.

Did you sing when you were little?

I do remember starting to sing blues with my father,

but very shortly before he died.

Maybe a year before he died.

-How old were you? -Eight.

Then, after he died, I do remember that...

my family already knew...

since my father told everyone: "Hey, the girl sings",

I'd suddenly start singing to them

"Pena, pen it a, pen it a" as a blues.

My family loved it, but at the same time it was...

very raw.

Very raw how I sang and how they perceived it.

As if singing had to hurt.

-Right? In a way. -Whoever listens to it or?

And me when I sing it too.

But, of course, my first singing reference,

as well as my father, was my grandmother.

As a girl, what I understood about being a singer

was demonstrating that strength.

If you like art and your grandmother is Lola Flores, or your mother or....

it must be a huge influence.

Sure, the first thing you say, seeing this:

"It'd be hard for me to sing too,

if my whole family were the soundtrack of a country".

Don't burden me with too much baggage

because I want to fly and fly.

Here I see him like... This search...

You can see it also in a time of my life when

you want more, your body doesn't quite follow you yet,

but what's inside wants to come out, right?

I mean, he was very genuine.

When you want to express something that doesn't exist yet,

to be understood, there's a moment of frustration.

I hear him as vulnerable, in a way.

The fragility of the poet,

you kind of have to allow yourself that.

-Right. -It goes beyond the voice.

I mean, it's like life, isn't it?

Free, free, free,

like the wind and the sun,

like sea water and the flower.

I want to be free.

Free, free, free,

without chains of love

that can bind me in the end.

I want to be free.

Antonio, do you know that, if by chance you succeed, they'll say you had it easy

-because you're Lola Flores' son? -I don't care about such dumb people.

Who do you love more? Dad or Mom?

-Who influenced you the most? -Neither, just Antoñito.

Because neither you, you nor Dad,

started out with the last name Flores.

I don't know if it was thought out, or life.

I think we all started out with the names we had at home:

Rosario, Lolita and Antonio.

Then people gave us the name Flores.

Becoming an artist is the hardest thing you can do

being the children of Lola Flores, who was

great, the most popular in Spain.

Because Flores, Flores... I, I, I, Flores, Flores, Flores.

Lots of Flores, all Flores.

Your granddad used to say: "González doesn't exist,

here there are only Flores, Flores".

Since I became an artist, I never knew if people approached me

because I'm Lola Flores or because of me.

I haven't felt it like that.

I think it's more your problem,

you think about what people may think about you,

rather than what people see in you.

You had to be worthy because people demanded it of you.

Do you admit that, if you weren't Lola Flores' son,

you wouldn't be interviewed today

and you would have gotten nowhere.

It would've been harder because I would have had to pass the doorman,

the secretary,

and instead I was introduced to the director face-to-face.

I think being the son of Lola Flores and "El Pescaílla"

had only advantages.

I'm serious.

I'm the son of a policeman and a housewife.

I'd switch places right now.

I hindered them because it was much more work for them,

being Lola Flores' children, to get to where he wanted.

Because I think I have a son that...

makes lovely ballads, rock 'n' roll...

I see other artists and I say:

"I think my son is better than so and so".

It's hard for him.

He got into a habit.

He'd come here to my house, he didn't have to warn me.

He'd show up and stay.

Did my grandmother used to call to find out if he was with you?

Sure, I was stunned

when I saw him calling her to say:

"Relax, relax, I'm at Sabina's place".

And I thought: "If that calms her down, we're all crazy".

Let's say I'm talking about Antonio González y Flores,

let's say I'm talking about Madrid,

let's pay close attention, ladies and gentlemen.

There, where the roads cross,

where the sea is inconceivable,

where the fugitive always returns,

let's say I'm talking about Madrid.

Let's do it again, it was a bit slow, eh?

There, where the roads cross,

where the sea is inconceivable,

where the fugitive always returns,

let's say I'm talking about Madrid.

About Madrid.

I think it was the first time I was hearing him sing

and also that lots of people did.

And it was a success as well.

Even I, the composer, fell in love with it.

YOUR FRIEND JOAQUIN SABINA

How was the music scene back then?

It was in decline. The tough neighborhood era had passed,

the heavies, punks and all that.

But, on the other hand,

Javier Krahe and I were in La Mandrágora,

which was another story.

It was much more literary, all more based

on dignifying the song lyrics a little.

Kind of because of the love we had for Bob Dylan,

who made that whole journey from folk,

more or less protest-like, to rock 'n' roll.

It's true that my father has something of that too,

because he started with "No Dudaría",

then moved more towards rock 'n' roll.

Yes, I can't fall in love with you

I can't fall in love with you

I've also tried a thousand times

to do a "Knockin' on Heaven's Door"

and I've never been able to do it. And Antonio nailed it.

True, it's the Knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's door.

It was beautiful.

I can't fall in love with you

When I was up there, all starting to work out,

they cut me in two. I was 21 and they made me do military service.

He went to do it in León,

then, they transferred him to Madrid thanks to a contact they found there.

Then your grandma appeared on Íñigo's program saying:

"Because I used a connection in the military for Antoñito,

so he's selling pens at the stationery store".

-"We transferred him"? -We transferred him

because I had to talk so that they'd move him to Fuencarral.

So, in the morning he sells pens

and at 1:30 pm he comes home.

So, my father said: "What's she saying?".

I was like: "What's she saying?". I didn't get it.

"What's this woman saying?".

And the following day all the mothers

called on the phone: "How is this possible?

Why is Lola Flores' son not doing guard duty?".

And they put him in a cell.

It was just awful.

The next day, Antoñito was back at the barracks,

fuck it, no more connections for him.

During military service everyone got wasted. Not just heroin, also hashish and so on.

It was a free-for-all.

His worst period was there,

where he had the most problems.

I'm an easygoing man,

I like to go out at sunset.

I often think of myself...

and what's going on around me.

Because there are people who don't accept...

that you're different,

that reason is your guide.

MILITARY ID CARD

With helmets, sticks and chains

they want to take away your right to live.

They roam the streets free,

lying in wait for a happy man.

Beware,

it may be your turn.

Do you think so much discipline had a rebound effect on him?

Hey, completely.

He was affected in every way

and had to go to rehab.

-Did it help him? -Yes, he came out just fine.

How did you meet Dad?

I went to a bar one night.

His mother was getting an award at that bar.

She was with Juanito "El Golosina", but they were not near us.

Then he came with us, and Juanito "El Golosina" came and said:

"Antonio, your mother says to go over there".

He said: "No, tell her to wait, I'm talking to a friend here".

And your grandma says:

"Take Antonio and Ana to your apartment,

so they can spend time together".

Your dad and I ended up making out at Juanito "El Golosina's" house.

They go into the bedroom

and, after a while, he comes out and says:

"It's freezing in here. We're humans, not penguins."

With the radiator on the table.

The grandma says, "So, did they do anything?".

I say, "Jeez, I didn't see them. I'm not a fly on the wall."

When did you realize he was your boyfriend?

I realized he was my boyfriend

the day after I was with him at Juanito Díaz's house.

No shit!

What a beautiful couple. How pretty you both are.

You're so handsome!

Miss Ana Villa López, born in Madrid...

My first time at María de Molina, Grandpa said to me: "I know who you are".

Of course, we had very similar origins.

We met when we were little, because my dad was kind of

in Grandpa's circle.

The two families would spend summers in Marbella,

so they knew each other.

And your aunts treated me like one more sister from the start.

The same, the same.

He has to go...

Go under, Rosario, and come up with a funny face.

Go under and come up with a funny face.

-A funny face? -Yes.

Down that way. Down that way, Antonio.

Good.

Last night your aunt and I were saying that

you don't ask many things about your father.

-I think... -I think you need to.

Yes, I needed to, but I think that...

I mean, I didn't... It was out of respect,

because I think that also

always asking about my father...

-But out of respect for whom? -Out of respect for the pain.

Yes, but pain can be taken away by talking.

In the early 80's a singer leapt

onto our music scene, Antonio Flores.

His first songs and covers like "Let's Say I'm Talking About Madrid"

were hits straight away and foreshadowed this singer's success.

He suddenly disappeared and after several years' absence, he's back.

Not empty-handed, but with this strong work called "Gran Vía"...

-Good evening, Antonio. -What's up? Good evening.

...the fruit of a long struggle with yourself.

That year I was lost in military service,

my career and everything was cut short,

so I came out later like...

annoyed with myself, until I woke up,

until I realized that I was just wasting time.

People remembered me, stopped me in the street and said:

"Shit, Antonio, what's up?

You're not doing anything. You were doing so well".

My mouth is dry, I enter a bar.

Looks that go through my personality.

I feel small in this place.

When I was asked to work on the record, I had no doubt.

I believed in him. He was an artist.

YOUR PRODUCER CARLOS NAREA

That tram will soon pass,

the houses will lose their makeup

from the smoke of the big city.

Oh, Gran Vía,

you've been here almost forever.

We were lucky we didn't have any pressure on this record.

We made the record that he wanted to make at the time.

Oh, Gran Vía,

the people love you... still.

He started the "Gran Vía" record when he met me.

He was doing great, very focused and motivated.

A lot of what he says in his songs is about me and my life,

so I felt very connected

to everything he was writing.

When we started working on the album, you were born.

You'd just been born.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

-I mean... -It was the egg first.

Let's see, Ana, show me the belly.

Show your whole belly.

Look, the belly where the baby is.

Albita.

Alba, your grandmother calls you.

What name do you want, Mom?

Alba, Triana and Olé!

We arrived at the hospital to give birth

and my father-in-law came with a potato omelet from the bar

and a bottle of wine.

They were singing and dancing.

"You're in labor, huh? Your other family's going wild there".

All of Spain dropped by that room to meet Lola Flores' granddaughter.

Because you were the first granddaughter.

And your grandma took care of...

promoting it everywhere: "I'm going to be a grandma, I'm going to be a grandma!".

LOLA FLORES, GRANDMOTHER AT LAST!

You called your grandmother Lola "Ole Ole", didn't you?

She'd come to the crib and say to me all the time: "Ole, ole, ole!"

So it was easier to say "Ole Ole" than "grandma".

-Ole, ole, and ole. Ole and ole. -Mom.

Some will say: "Right, let's find the song he dedicated to her".

But no. You refused, didn't you?

No, there's a song there.

The thing is, I still think...

it's a bit cheesy,

because having a child, as a friend said to me,

is a bit cheesy in itself.

And it seems to me, I don't know, kind of...

the music I'm doing right now, kind of rock and hard,

-I think it's a bit... -Sure.

I'm looking for the way to express all that in a way

that's not as soft, right?

-Are you ready to record? -It's recording.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. What's the girl doing?

-Look how she looks at the camera. -Hello.

So, how did you meet your wife?

My wife is a girl whom I've liked a lot

for a very long time.

I was in a bad way,

very depressed, very hooked, not knowing who I was.

If I was Lola flores' son, if I was a musician, a singer...

Who the hell was I?

Do you understand? So, this girl took me, helped me,

gave me love, we fell in love and got married.

And I've been clean for just over a year.

My daughter was born and something happened in my mind,

because I was at the birth, I saw her being born.

I freaked out and that day I took some.

There.

Sooner or later the snake would get me again.

Do you understand?

Knowing about your father and your grandmother...

I saw her on TV in Norway

and I felt sure that that was my home...

so I became "Marifé from Norway".

-So you became friends? -Yes. When he'd come to my house,

YOUR FRIEND MARIANNE

his mother was relaxed as well.

She wasn't afraid that...

anything could happen to him, because he never stopped...

There are few friendships with men

that compare with your father's.

It was very selfish of me, maybe, but I tell you...

I felt like...

I wouldn't have anyone who loves me that way,

that kind of tender love.

He didn't just pose for you as a model,

he did the whole process with you too.

Exactly, yes, yes.

He helped me in the whole process,

from taking the photos to shutting ourselves in the darkroom.

And he did it as if he were a professional.

Look, these are photos by him.

Fuck, there are photos here from this session that I've never seen before.

Look at Dad, Alba! Watch me dive!

-I remember that day very well. -Really?

Yes, I was taking photos with a camera that didn't work well.

That's why he's here,

fixing it for me.

I think the best and most beautiful photos in my life

were taken by you. When I look at them, it's like...

I feel the essence of my relationship to my father

captured there, in that moment

So pretty, so dark,

so Gypsy, as she was.

The flower I always wanted in my garden.

-Are you recording? -I just put it on for this.

-I recorded that and put it in... -Oh, right.

So he'd sing with himself,

then he'd put it on again.

Oh, that's with Aunt Rosario.

The song came from there.

And yours should be around there too.

The melody. The melody is...

Ole!

I remember this day, I think it was the first day that...

I ever sang with him.

He was playing blues at your house and I was playing next to him.

And since blues has a call and response...

without realizing, I started to answer him.

He realized and then said to me: "Come over here, to the sofa".

-What a beautiful song. -You do what you want,

even if you include other songs. That's what I do.

-Of course. -The songs I like,

-I put them together. -Put them together.

But then leave it for whatever you want, okay?

For example, here. Come.

Can you sing it normal and I'll take your voice?

No, I want yours, honey. Sing for me.

Take it where your voice is most comfortable, okay?

-Okay. -Come on, I'll give you this.

Ole!

That's something else.

-That's amazing. -Why don't you keep singing?

I don't know.

Why didn't I sing afterwards? I don't know.

I don't know, because...

-I don't know. -It's just that...

I know we've annoyed you when we say that, didn't we?

Understand that for me it's normal that I've told you several times

because I lived through it and saw you.

I've seen your talent, your great art, haven't I?

Yes, I know, but I don't know.

I don't know, later I found it very hard.

And also because I...

I don't know if I felt obliged or I also felt...

a huge gap that maybe I was supposed to fill.

It made me really scared, really...

-You were overwhelmed by it. -Yes.

Yes. I don't know.

Wait.

-That's good, Alba. I swear. -I'm going to rest a little.

Yeah, let's rest a bit. Turn that off.

Good, I like it!

-I can't tune this by ear, Anton. -Let's see.

Who did you change the strings for for the first time in your life?

Well, your father.

How old were you when you first saw my father?

I was 13.

I didn't know he was Lola Flores' son at all.

He was someone who came to our house with my sister.

YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW ANTONIO

I was working in a garage, as a mechanic, very young,

and sometimes, when I saw him or when we met up,

I'd show him my hands and say: "Look".

I'd be covered in crap, with calluses and such.

He said: "Don't worry, when I start the tour, come along".

And we started touring, from then until the end.

For me he was a buddy, a brother.

He was kind of a father too,

because I was left without a dad at 8 years old.

So, whenever he went out,

he'd say: "Let's go, copi".

-"Copi"? -Yes, as in copilot.

For you I imagine it was a great initiation, right?

I discovered many things about my life with him, you know?

Good and bad.

Do you think my father was hurt by the world?

Yes.

The world pained him.

If it'd been in his power,

he would've changed many things.

It bothered him that there were plastics in the sea,

that there was abuse,

abandoned children, wars,

hunger.

That's why he had nothing of his own.

-Right, he was... -He was very selfless...

-He gave everything away. -Sure, yes.

"Dad, I gave you a necklace."

Then later, in front of me, someone would say to him: "That's a nice necklace".

He'd say: "Here", and give it to them.

-Too generous. -Very generous.

Which they weren't with him.

Were you a big sister to him?

I had no choice but to be a big sister.

The thing is, due to the age difference,

I started singing very early. I went to America very young.

I think we started to get to know each other,

one another, much later.

I started to get to know your father when he was a man.

When I was married, when Guillermo came along

and they became good friends.

He was also a family man.

We talked a lot in Marbella.

He'd play the guitar and I'd sing.

He'd sing more with Rosario, because she was his buddy.

And I, like it or not, see my siblings as the elder sister.

He wrote to your Aunt Rosario...

I like the color... He wrote her a love song.

That your mouth has.

I like the taste

that your skin has,

I like to say

your name Rosario.

I said: "What's wrong with me? Won't you write a song for me?".

And he said: "Loli, I swear,

I wrote you a song, but I don't know where I put it".

-Really? -I said: "Like the joke, huh?

You won the lottery, but you don't know where you put the ticket".

I was never jealous of Rosario and Antonio,

but I missed a lot of things...

because of that age difference.

He was my world, my world, you know?

My morning, noon and night.

My songs, my friends, my accomplice.

We were one and the same.

Rosario and Antonio González Flores,

siblings together with us here. They are, as you know very well,

he children of celebrities and now actors.

They've just finished shooting a film together,

-playing siblings as well, right? -Yes.

"BUDDIES"

Look, "Rosario González".

And "Antonio" without surname.

He was already "Antonio", he was already a singer.

The national anthem has ended.

The King, as you see, now greets...

A few days late? Maybe you're pregnant.

-Are you sure? It's very easy. -Unbelievable...

Buy Predictor in any pharmacy

and do the test yourself at home.

Predictor, Predictor...

-What the fuck are you saying? -Nothing.

...distances between vehicles and avoid rush hours.

Respect the signs and don't...

I woke up this morning

wanting so much to get out of here.

I couldn't find anyone...

who wanted to follow me,

who wanted to follow me...

far away from here.

Far away from here.

Ole, how lovely!

My brother's so handsome, my God.

This scene is very moving for me.

Seeing it reminds me what I experienced with him.

What I like about cinema is...

the lying,

but the true actor is a good liar.

He made a lot of movies.

I was on some shoots with him

and I saw him enjoying it.

Sounds good, doesn't it?

He trained at La Ponderosa, where all the stuntmen trained.

He'd spend all morning leaping from a horse and doing somersaults.

He loved it.

Fucking pinko!

For him, life was a game.

The mirror. You and I are going to be in movies for the first time.

My brother-in-law and me. Me and my brother-in-law.

Look, I'm going to record you, please, because this moment

reminds me a little of your father and mine.

Look at that art. Very good, very good.

Who can dance flamenco? Like "Ole Ole", come on.

I dreamt about you recently, three days ago or so.

We were swimming near the shore and a tsunami was coming.

A huge wave was coming and I said to you:

"Run, run, give me your hand,

so we don't get separated".

Don't get wet!

I dream about your father the most.

YOUR NIECE ELENA

One of the dreams I have most often

is that we're all eating,

the typical family meal or something, and suddenly he appears.

And, of course, I say to you all:

"Are you seeing Uncle Antonio?". You say: "C'mon, Elena, what?!".

Looking at us, smiling, you know?

Like he was happy at what he saw.

One had to...

-face the matter, right? -Right.

And see...

what, why and how it happened.

In fact, you've talked a lot that you needed permission

to live beyond 33 and all that,

and what you don't know is that all of us

needed your permission to talk about Antonio.

You had the key and, until you opened the door,

it was going to be shut tight.

When I first saw you as an actress,

I saw that strength, those eyes...

He's there everywhere, in your eyes, your gaze...

How many times have I told you "sing, sing, sing"?

-A lot. -You'd get mad at me.

A lot. Sure, but I don't know,

-I didn't do it because... -You've sung since you were little.

-Right. -You sang blues as well.

Remember you told me once, you were 13 or so...

-Look, I'm getting goosebumps. -Yes.

You said to me: "Auntie, can I sing you a song?".

"Well, sing it to me".

And you sang "Pena, Penita, Pena" as a blues.

Oh, yes, yes.

It almost tore me up, tore us all up.

-No, it tore you all up. -You tore us all up.

Yes but, I don't know why, I remember that day,

more than encouraging me, I don't know why, it scared me.

Oh, yes?

You knocked me out that day so forget about insecurities

because you're going to do great, honey.

-You start, right? -Come on, I'll start.

Okay, I sing the first two verses.

Then you sing the bridges. And you...

I join in with "I promise to see the joy" in a rising style.

I join you with the second "I promise to see the joy",

we sing "parachuruchuru"

and you do the next two verses

because I've sung the first two...

-Okay. -Is that okay?

-Okay, okay. -Go on.

-Can you sing? -Yes.

Will you sing me a little song, please?

Okay, but I'll sing a short song.

Okay, thanks. To all of you, Alba Villa Flores.

In Marbella, I heard him composing

kind of rumba songs.

I said: "Antonio, that's nice. Why don't you record it?"

"Me? I can't record this".

-Why didn't he want to? -Because it wasn't his style.

Flavor, flavor,

don't tell me no,

that I'm like strong ivy and look...

Ketama was already around then.

And Ray Heredia released "Alegría de vivir".

Raimundo had also started with his brother: Pata Negra.

And my brother flipped out.

There were rock musicians around...

-Playing with flamenco musicians. -With flamenco musicians.

That's what I'm saying.

Let's see.

-You know? That way, look for it. -Right, but I get hoarse.

We came from flamenco too, my brother was a Gypsy.

We were Gypsies and we had flamenco at home.

But we'd also listened to funk, soul,

all the modern music that was popular at that time.

I'm here, here alone,

thinking of you, going over it in my head.

I can't take it anymore, I'm going out

to see if the booze wears off.

I don't know why I said nothing

when I met your eyes.

-Something like this? -Yes.

Your father clicked and started expressing himself in rumbas.

And it was surprising. I think for them too, you know?

Because they realized that the most special thing they had,

had already been with them all of their lives.

Something special is going to happen

that even the pores of my skin

cry out my name.

In her family everyone was and is an artist,

but she broke with tradition to succeed in her own style:

a blend of rhythms, musical influences and collaborations.

And through it all, the presence of her brother Antonio,

in charge of lyrics and arrangements.

A strange force comes to me,

I can no longer tell

the difference between good and evil.

I'm backing her up, that is, I've done the songs for her

and I've been leading her with the idea of...

what style she wants and explaining it to the band mates.

-But he's the soul of the album. -And that's

-more or less my job. -The soul and the songs.

Something in me pushes me to jump,

to live in freedom

on the roofs of this great city.

My cat does "uy, uy ,uy."

My cat does "ay, ay, ay."

And the three of us made the "Rosario" style.

With Dad's songs as I used to sing them

and with production by Fernando Illán.

He introduced me to Rosario.

Or rather, he told Rosario she had to do the record with me.

With me and Arturo, who was my co-producer.

We didn't think about whether it was good or bad,

if people would like it or not.

We worked in total freedom.

Did Dad expect to be so successful with Rosario's album?

Never ever in his life. We don't remember now,

but Rosario's first record with "Mi Gato" and so on

was a smash hit.

The stars aligned

and suddenly we had a record

that none of us thought was going to be a smash hit.

The public and the critics

began to give him the recognition he deserved.

He gained a lot of confidence

because one could see he was a great composer.

And I think for Antonio

it was suddenly a way to understand himself,

of seeing what he wanted to be.

Until he really found his voice

and how he really wanted to make the records.

It was the first time I was recognized as a composer,

after being recognized for many other things but a composer.

What's more satisfying than that, right?

I told him that he had to

bring out his talent in his records

and not do it for his sister.

He'd place himself at the service of any music

and what he was doing was a total transgression.

It was pen, paper

and start playing

without having a record label, without anything.

"Ay, it hurts me stepping on the land, drinking the water and..."

No, that's enough of the land, we have 20 songs about that.

" Well, "ay, ay...'

Now talk about yourself. What does hurt and how?

-Ay, ay, ay, it hurts me. -What does hurt you?

"The rhythm that gets into my head.

Ay, ay, ay, it hurts me."

The rhythm that drives into my temples

Ay, ay, how it hurts me.

I let my hair grow long, I wanted to look like him.

I saw all musicians around

admiring him, listening to him and appreciating him musically.

And he thought he wasn't worth a damn.

-Hi, how's your life? Good? -Good, happy,

because your sister Rosario's record is doing very well.

-Oh, yes, the cat one. -Yes. Remember it? The cat one.

-Yes. -And then, well,

the record gets acclaim and, well,

people seem to be starting to remember me now.

I don't think anyone has ever forgotten you.

Well, yes, but I was kind of in oblivion.

He questioned his worth all the time

as a musician and as a composer.

It's true that he felt more pressure as a result of Rosario's success.

The pressure on him went up,

among other things because his sister wanted to make another record

and demanded songs from him.

He wanted to make a whole album for Lolita

as he'd done for Rosario, because Lolita asked him too.

Did he get requests?

Victorio & Lucchino asked him to do the song for "Abril",

which was a commercial Elle Macpherson did

-and which Polanski directed. -What?

So, from the airport to the recording studio,

he got some paper and started writing the lyrics.

We got there,

he sang it and the "Abril" people were delighted.

Amazing.

The story of "Maldito" comes from the companies,

because at first they didn't believe in Antonio the musician,

but in Antonio with the surname Flores.

They wanted to play showbiz

and I wasn't willing to play along

because I knew what I could do.

So I fought and I was cursed.

After a while, thinking over it,

I just don't know if it was good for him at the time,

to get into that frenzy,

which you know very well, of success.

Someone who has...

certain weaknesses when he gets stressed out, well,

puts himself at risk.

I think Antonio was a very sensitive guy,

with a very odd personal situation

that made him very different.

You know that was a whole thing.

It's a way of escaping, always. It's a way of...

The first time is usually the search for that void you're missing.

Among the things that have affected me the most

about the story of my family going public...

it has been the stigma of drugs.

When people want to attack me, even in school,

they attacked me with that,

very strongly. And...

-But because of Antonio? -Yes.

I think this needs a lot of understanding

because we are a whole generation

sharing that story, because our parents

were from that time and lived through those things.

In the 80s,

one out of every 500 Spaniards took heroin.

Then we had all the promotion

of our idols, of our heroes,

who took it...

and mentioned it in songs.

So there was great romanticism around that.

Honestly, I'd like to understand a little better

what attracted him to it

or what it provided him with.

I don't want to talk about the benefits of heroin, of course,

but it's true...

that it completely takes the anxiety away.

I think it gave him a certain calm.

It kind of made him forget who he was

and how people saw him.

I think that's the source of the problem,

that he discovered that...

there are things that calm his permanent anxiety.

-Go, carry on, act. -Acting? I can't do it anymore.

There was a way to take it in order to function.

Sensitive people, obsessive people,

neurotic people, unstable people,

insecure people.

There they find...

the miracle.

How to drink of that bitter drink,

to swallow pain mixed with fatigue,

to be silent when the cry screams,

to shut your mouth in the sleeping city.

Lola, what would you say, from here,

to a woman whose son is a drug addict?

Always be with him, don't abandon him,

bring him to his senses so that he can tell you himself:

"Yes, Mom, I want to get well".

-Have you had that experience, Lola? -Yes, I have.

Some clowning around by a boy who had everything

and wanted to know the bad side.

Noble, good, because almost always the good ones are those who...

want to try other things in life.

-Have you ever tried drugs, Lola? -Yes, yes, of course.

I've tried coke and weed.

Yes, of course I have.

So what? I've also had whiskey and red wine.

One can do everything in life with judgement.

What's the use of being a saint's son?

Another life who goes on not so dead.

Another life truth, not so dead.

So many lies, so much brute force.

Father,

take this chalice away from me.

Take this chalice away from me.

Take this chalice away from me

of wine full of blood.

I came from conflictive siblings with problems,

and my relationship with him, above all, was like that.

YOUR FRIEND MARIOLA ORELLANA

And I always aimed to make him strong, fit,

to take care of himself.

I loved him and was determined to get him out of it,

because I believe that was what your grandma intended too,

because I knew a lot about this, I had witnessed 200 arguments.

I knew very well how to handle these situations and...

well, that was my attitude.

He had a rough time, but because he was physically ill.

Not with your mom, but with the whole world, with himself.

Your grandmother called me tons of times:

"Chirro, please, come over, give me a hand."

In August instead of going on holidays, I went to a clinic in Barcelona

and I was staying at the clinic with him.

We didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to do.

Because I also kind of set some conditions for him.

And that burdened him too, of course it did.

It burdened both of us, me too.

At the time I was...

stuck in a loop all day: "How do we do this?

Is he okay now? Is he not? Is he?".

Did you share your concerns for Dad with "Ole Ole"?

Often,

because we first went through a detox clinic

where I spent 25 days

locked up with him in a room.

Then we went to a retreat,

for about four months.

All this without you, it was awful.

Only someone who has been through it, knows it.

A scream in the night

someone heard.

My body trembled

without my knowing it.

The city crumbles...

over the people.

And it's a place of fat sheep...

where evil doesn't matter.

When he came back, you could tell he had...

a lot of strength, a lot.

I've taken the positive from that suffering, that discomfort,

of walking the streets and sewers of Madrid,

and it's served me well.

I'm 32. I'm out and that's it.

Get your hair off your face. You're very pretty like that.

Oh, so cheesy. She looks like all fancy.

There was a girl named Alba...

Shortly after coming from the retreat, in summer,

another relapse.

Then I became very desperate.

She sees what's going on,

the hard time I'm having, and what do we do?

She told me: "Go, leave him, see if he realizes".

How did he take it...

when you decided to separate?

He was in such a bad way that he said to me: "Yes, go, it's best for both of you,

for you and for Alba. Go."

It was the best thing I could do,

because the life I was leading

was a life that I had to control on my own.

I couldn't bring anybody in. It was the best thing.

We'll see what happens, right?

Antonio, that's...

You know what I mean. That's all over now.

It's over now.

-Shall we touch wood? -But no one believes me.

Musician, Gypsy, cursed, genius.

Antonio Flores gets back on track after five years of silence.

The man of the Flores dynasty

is ready to put an end to his dark legend.

At that time, at a toxic level,

we were all on a crusade to be clean

and that made us

much more connected to life,

with laughter and enjoyment.

I think, at one point, he was like a fifth Rodríguez.

He was also...

looking for something musical at the time.

-You'll see the record I'm releasing. -Yeah?

-They're all your songs? -All of them.

My production, my songs, and the LP's called "Cosas Mías".

And at 1:30 in the morning the phone rings.

"Who is it? Antonio? Come on up".

As the door opened, he said to me: "This is the record we have to make".

And he gave it to me like this.

-This document is impressive. -Yes, it is.

And I haven't read it well, but...

I think it has unpublished lyrics.

"In a distant past I saw Jesus weep

and I bore the guilt, I carried the cross."

This is the story of Juan "El Golosina,"

who as a child was fond of cooking.

They gave him tanks and soldiers

and he preferred to have a thousand hairstyles.

At school they called him "El Gallina",

they mistook him for vases from China.

One morning, as we headed for the van to play,

Germán Vilella, the drummer, arrived,

really, really knocked out, because he'd listened that night

to the demos of the record.

He was amazed.

I remember that the day we signed with the record company,

we went to see José María Cámara and your dad went with his guitar.

He sang three or four songs to him

and José María Cámara said: "Paco, this guy must get signed now".

Now far from the time when he was immersed in the drug world,

Antonio Flores has captured all his creative talent

in this new recording.

Someone unaware of Antonio who listens to this album

will know what Antonio is like musically and personally.

He'd realized that, finally, the record was good.

He liked what he'd done, he was happy with that record,

the songs, everything. So, he felt very fulfilled.

That's why I was spoiled in music because, of course,

you got to a gig and it was full of people.

And that was normal. Later, working with other artists,

I realized that it was rare.

He was able to get the audience,

well, to the max.

I've seen women slapping each other over him.

Besides, he was very handsome, he was a hunk.

I'd see him on stage and I'd say:

"You can't be a better artist,

you can't compose better

or have a better look".

Thank you, Madrid!

Thank you. What a crowd, I'm not leaving, even if they throw me out.

Do you remember the dance he did? It was like...

-an Indian dance, like this. -Really?

He'd dance like an Indian, like he was in a trance,

on the stage.

I'll introduce you to the band...

of delinquents I have.

Look, let's start with the base.

On drums, Eric Franklin.

-Did you guys have...? -He had a special charisma.

On keyboards, Tato Icasto.

He was full-tilt, really hyped.

And on my right, another guitar: Javier Catalá.

There's a before and an after with the album "Cosas mías".

The first set we did from "Cosas mías", the first live shows,

instead of starting with a strong song, a heavy song,

-we started with... -Yes,

-from less to more. -...with "Siete vidas."

-Sitting on his stool, remember? -True, I didn't remember that.

An odd thing and risky too because nobody does it.

Four years of scattered happiness,

four years of distrustful glances.

Do you remember the first time he showed you "Siete Vidas"?

Yes, I did.

-Where were you? -In Marbella.

I went to pick you up,

he got me in the car and put it in the cassette player.

Take it easy, honey,

I've broken with the past.

A thousand caresses to tell you

that a cat has seven lives.

Six lives I've already burned

and this last one I want to live by your side.

"Why don't you do what you say?".

You know, my frustration was:

"Very beautifully sung, very nice written. Do it.

Do it."

What amazed me about Antonio was

his outrageous productivity, y'know?

From '92 to '94,

-Antonio did thirty songs. -Yeah.

In two years.

-Thirty hits. -Thirty hits.

And on this record, which I'll present right now,

I want Antonio to be recognized

not only on his merits

as a singer and performer,

but also his merits as a composer.

Did Dad get to savor a moment of his explosion of success?

Yes, yes. I've often wondered if he was prepared

psychologically for that.

-Why do you think he wasn't? -Because it was a time

when he was very worried about his mother.

There were other factors that caused him great pain.

I've had breast cancer for 24 years.

I've worked like that, done television,

travelled, swirled my shawl...

Understand? And I've suffered a great deal, as has my family.

They were very worried about me.

From then on, no one made plans in that house,

because we didn't know what would happen.

That's why he bought the cabin, to be with her.

How about that, in a house in La Moraleja with a lawn garden,

and they put a wooden cabin. Your father's problem

was that he couldn't see Lola suffer,

and she suffered greatly at the end.

-How's your mother? -My mother's very well,

she's in good spirits right now.

The medication is working, she's getting better and better.

She still has her energy, her mind never stops, neither does her laughter.

She's never stopped being herself, she hasn't been too bad.

She didn't want to stop working.

She couldn't anymore, but she hung on until the end,

and said:

"If I stop, I'll ruin the three of them".

To our family, our people, to everyone, to Spain!

Let's go!

Lolita, Antonio and Rosario.

Courage to live.

Courage to live.

That was to be sung at my grandmother's tribute.

To your grandmother, yes.

I don't think the three of you have sung any other song together.

No, none.

Courage to live and not die.

Courage to live,

that's the way it is.

Right, well...

-Ask us, ask us. -Let's see...

-Ask what you've never asked. -Well, well...

Look, one thing I'd like to ask is how...

how... how...

For example, how did Dad handle "Ole Ole's" illness?

Very badly.

"Ole Ole's" illness was handled very badly

from the moment they told us.

I asked the doctor how long she had left

and the doctor opened the window and said:

"Ask the man up there, because I can't tell you".

You know what? Mom was 72 when she died.

-Don't cry, because if you do... -No.

...I'll cry, we'll cry...

We'll all start crying here.

-Well... -But I like...

First, I like that you're asking

everything you haven't asked until now, my dear,

because I was dying

to tell you everything you want to know.

And "Ole Ole" died very young, she was 72.

Today I see people 72 years old and I say:

"My mother, how awful, she was so young".

Mom went away annoyed

because she didn't want to go.

She fought and had faith that she wasn't leaving.

She didn't want your father to be around.

In fact, your father was in Málaga, at Marianne's house,

and he'd call.

And when Antonio called, as she was like this, she'd say:

"Tell him I'm asleep."

She'd talk to him now and then. He said: "Mom, I'm coming tomorrow".

She said: "No, stay a few more days".

And just as he arrived, she was already dead.

But there's one major thing that I always say,

which is hard for me to tell you,

but just before Mom went,

he called me, and you,

and said to me: "Rosario, I'm going after Mom".

-He said that to you? -Yes, he did.

And I said to him: "What are you saying, Antonio? Don't be a fool, don't say that".

And he said: "Yes, Rosario, I'll go after Mom,

I'll go after Mom".

And just as I was going to sleep, they called me

to tell me that your grandma had died

and not to tell him.

I went to pick him up at the airport and straight away he said:

"Mom has died, right?" and I said: "Yes, she has.

That was when he punched a wall and broke his wrist.

Good morning. Welcome. This is "Spain at 7",

on Radio 1, Spanish National Radio. Pedro Meyer speaking.

Lola Flores, the great Spanish artist, "Lola of Spain",

passed away this early morning in her home in Madrid.

He went in, kissed his mother

like he never did before,

went to his cabin and didn't want to know anything.

And when my phone rang, it was Serrat.

He said: "I'm not calling to present my condolences,

because this was a death foretold,

I'm calling to tell you

that I'm only worried about your brother.

And he wasn't wrong.

In those last days he drank a lot, took pills.

He wasn't physically well. He wasn't eating or sleeping.

So, he was having a very bad time.

After your grandma went we never left him alone

because we were afraid,

that he'd drown, because he was drowning.

-He didn't go to the funeral. -He didn't go anywhere.

Did he decide not to go?

No, he even had his clothes ready.

The fortnight he was here, my brother wasn't...

a destroyer who...

All he had was his grief and weeping, you know? That's all.

And he was venting.

But also, on the other hand, it was like an ongoing party.

All of Spain came to pay their respects.

And he looked after them, after everyone.

There were lots of music people too.

And he was there: "Look what I have here, I can make two albums".

I mean, he didn't want to leave at all.

He was there, with his mess, the papers, the usual,

and suddenly your mom came in, unexpected, as if by surprise,

and his face, that joy...

-Where was he when you last saw him? -Here.

-Oh, yes? -Yes.

I'm remembering now the last time I saw him.

He was in a bad way. He was in his cabin.

There were always lots of people around because, of course,

now I understand that everyone was trying

to support him in a way, to not leave him alone.

But I do remember getting very angry

because I felt he was being very distant.

I remember going to see him, I was pacing around the house:

"Maybe I can see my father". I was with him briefly

and felt he was very distant, very far away.

I recall leaving very angry: "Jeez, my father's ignoring me".

"C'mon, let's see what gigs are out there, let's work".

A fortnight later: "Are you sure you want to?".

"Let's get to work".

And so we quickly organized it in Pamplona.

Do you like the glasses I bought?

He'd always had joy, good spirits...

He was a wreck,

but he found strength where there was none.

I cried over Camarón because a genius died.

Now I've cried because a genius and my mother died.

But life goes on

and my mother wants to see me on stage and successful.

And this gala is dedicated to her.

That concert was to prove to himself,

to his mother and the world

that he was there

and that he'd achieved it after so many years.

That he was the Lola Flores' son no more, he was now Antonio Flores.

I thought he wouldn't be able to, and he was great in Pamplona.

And that concert was magical.

This is the first gala after my mother's death.

I just want to tell you that I'm tired,

I'm pretty sleep-deprived,

very emotional

and apart from dedicating the show to you, of course,

it's dedicated to Lola Flores.

I think all of us who were there

saw that it was

a very special moment

and we heard him singing

with that "moan" he'd use and...

that power, right?

A thorn stuck...

on the top of my mountain...

and a cloud settled...

-on my spider's web. -On my spider's web.

You know what my pain is.

Oh, please, give me warmth.

You know what my pain is.

Oh, please, give me... warmth.

Fuck.

"Oh, please give me warmth". Right, tell me.

Oh, please give me warmth.

Now with a note... Oh, please, give me warmth.

Oh, please, give me... warmth.

With nothing else. What you're saying and a sound.

Oh, please, give me... warmth.

You know what my pain is.

Oh, please, give me... warmth.

Thanks. Warmth...

Getting back on the bus,

I saw he was sad, especially sad, when we'd done the concert.

He said: "I gave it everything there".

He was exhausted on the way back from that trip.

Back from Pamplona, I stayed with him in the cabin

making sure he didn't hurt himself, that he didn't... You know?

We always had a Polaroid on the table.

We were always taking photos of ourselves, of people.

We'd staple them to the wall, making like a collage,

because your father loved making collages.

Those were rough days. He was unruly, you know?

There was a time when he was unruly...

"Why? Why my mother? Why my mother?".

It was hard for me

to find a time and a way to ask

and talk about the last days, the last weeks...

-So... -Yes?

...you know a lot of people think that Dad took his own life.

ANTONIO FLORES COULD NOT BEAR HIS MOTHER'S DEATH

Did you feel, at the time, that he wanted to head towards death?

No, although I did see

an emotional punishment and a physical punishment,

but of wanting to forget,

due to the pain he was feeling.

And a week later I told Chirro: "Chirro,

I can't take it anymore".

You know?

"I need at least one day away".

-And I left. -And he left.

It so happened that a few of Antonio's friends came that day,

stayed over, and they were the ones who had to deal with it.

There is so much fidelity and loyalty to Dad

that it's very hard...

No one tells you

about his dark side, his shadow.

That was his struggle with life.

Not mine nor yours, it was his.

I would've liked to ask him so many things...

-Are you at peace? -Yes, I am.

Yes.

I just had great turmoil inside myself

as soon as he died because...

I reproached myself: "Why weren't you there?

If he couldn't be alone and that day he was alone".

But I was working, I was with you...

Maybe if one of you had been there that day with him,

he wouldn't have died that day, but...

it seems that Dad was under pressure from death.

My mother often says: "Oh, if I'd been in the cabin,

maybe it wouldn't have happened".

I say: "Mom, or it would've".

I think also our elders,

like my aunt, my mother, everybody,

at some point they've dealt with guilt, you know?

Right.

I think that, also

has made it harder,

to return to those matters,

to air it all out, hasn't it?

What must happen, happens, and we can't blame ourselves...

And no one is the master of anyone's destiny,

I believe we're the masters of our own destiny.

Yes.

And you, of that day...

I got up on a normal school day...

...and my mother said: "No, you're going

with my friend to the countryside".

She said to her friend: "Don't ask me any questions.

Don't let her watch TV or let people see her".

Chapter 93.

My first news was my mother arriving at this friend's house

and I saw her in black, with a very grim face.

She took me to her friend's bedroom

and she told me... "Dad has gone to heaven".

"He died of grief".

Sure, I was afraid of going through the grief, the pain, because...

I thought one could die of grief.

Fuck, "So I'll have to die too after him".

-Right. -You know?

"Now it's my turn."

My mother burst into tears.

Then I had a window in front of me.

And I recall seeing my mother and deciding to say:

"No, of course I can't jump out the window. I have to...

-This person has to feel right. -Good.

You've pulled out a thorn and I think, for everyone...

you've let him fly away at last, you know?

-The box too. -Yes? I put it all in.

Alba, what's wrong?

Stand up, Alba.

He had a photo of "Ole Ole".

You won't remember because you were very small, in the cabin,

and that photo, when Mom died,

went further back every day.

Did you know your dad covered the living room with photos

stuck up with tacks?

-Staples. -Or staples, yes.

The photo from the door,

that fortnight, it went further and further in,

until it was on the bedside table.

And there it stayed.

And that's where he left.

I read your autopsy, Dad.

Your 33 years.

Your dark hair, your dark eyes.

Your left hand,

the one for chords,

with a plaster splint.

Frost on your lungs...

and petechiae in your heart.

The presence of...

opiates, cocaine,

painkillers, tranquilizers and alcohol.

And the presence of your pain, I think.

A fortnight of insomnia and mourning.

Little appetite and little sleep.

And some ginseng too that night.

A swim in the pool...

and a "tomorrow I'll be better".

Cardio-respiratory arrest.

Intoxication by drug abuse.

Accidental death.

You were found in bed,

resting,

as if you were asleep.

An always beautiful flower

can be a garden

full of flowers.

But no flower is prettier

than my garden.

But my father hears it.

He hears it and shouts like this.

But I tell him

no, no, no,

don't do that to it.

And he cuts it.

But then the flower he killed

is born again.

Come on, people!

A unique, special day!

If I could forget all that I was,

if I could erase all that I saw,

I wouldn't hesitate,

I wouldn't hesitate to laugh again.

If I could burn the weapons I used,

if I could restore the peace I took away,

I wouldn't hesitate,

I wouldn't hesitate to laugh again.

I promise to see the joy

and learn from the experience,

but never...

never again use violence.

Never again!

I promise to see the joy

and learn from the experience,

but never...

never again use violence.

If I could forget all that I was,

if I could erase all that I saw,

I wouldn't hesitate,

I wouldn't hesitate to laugh again.

I promise to see the joy

and learn from the experience,

but never...

never use violence again.

I promise to see the joy

and learn from the experience,

but never...

never again use violence.

Never again!

-Let's go! -Come on, everybody!

Everyone!

My cousin Elena, my cousin Lola!

My cousin Jose, my mother!

Long live my father!

-Thank you very much. -Long live Antonio Flores!

I'm speechless.

What it feels like to see that...

Antonio Flores is still so loved

and is still present for so many people. Thank you very much.

A flower is always beautiful

can be a grand garden

full of flowers

growing just for you.

Now it is silent and withers...

since you're not here,

sorrow and frost...

left us without April.

From one flower the other is born,

it doesn't die, it's still there.

Time passes and then it sprouts,

life returns to...

come out.

I tell him no, no, no, no,

don't do that to it.

I tell him no, no, no, no,

But I tell him no, no, no, no,

don't do that to it.

I tell him no, no, no, no.

Looking for...

yesterday's door.

That flower is not the same anymore,

it's lost its root,

it looks for the door

where its garden was.

From one flower the other is born,

it doesn't die, it's still there.

Time passes and then it sprouts,

life returns to...

come out.

But I tell him no, no, no, no,

don't do that to it.

Don't do that to it.

But I tell him no, no, no, no,

don't do that to it.

I tell him no, no, no, no.

Looking for...

Look for it.

Look for it.

But I tell him

no, no, no,

don't do that to it.

And he cuts it.

But then the flower he killed

is born again.

¡Ole!

That's April, a feeling.

That's April, it caresses the wind.

Moon that brightens the day

and trusts you with its faithful secret.

And that's how April feels.

That's how April feels.

That's how April feels.

Moon that brightens the day

and trusts you with its faithful secret.

That's how April feels.

That's how April feels.

That's how April feels.

Bravo!

FLOWERS FOR ANTONIO

Bravo!

Ole, my Antonio!

To you, to you!