Original subtitles

I am officially running...

...for President of the United States.

I am running for President

of the United States.

GOP candidates can't ignore his money and his populist message.

I will build a great, great wall on our southern border.

I find it abhorrent that Donald Trump is suggesting

we register people.

USA! USA!

They're upset about what they see happening

around them, I get that.

The state department is in the process

of turning over more Hillary Clinton e-mails.

This is far bigger than

the accusations against Donald Trump.

I have a winning temperament.

Where I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue

and shoot somebody,

and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay?

Donald Trump trailing Hillary Clinton

by ten points.

There is a very real, palpable fear out there today.

He is threatening our democracy.

It's time to remove the rust

from the Rust Belt.

Trump followers clashed

with anti-Trump protesters.

...Trump! We want Trump!

You can't just say

whatever pops into your head

if you want to be the President

of the United States of America.

We are going to make this decision now.

The Fox News Decision Desk has called...

Pennsylvania for Donald Trump.

This means that Donald Trump will be

the 45th President of the United States,

winning the most...

unreal, surreal

election we have ever seen.

The revolution has begun.

It's very, very, very close in a lot of...

It's over. If she hasn't won Pennsylvania by now,

she's not coming back.

No, that's bullshit.

I won't believe anything until I hear Rachel Maddow say it.

She's the only one I trust.

How is this happening?

It's the politics of fear. It always works.

What started off as unlikely, impossible,

is now reality.

He said he was

always a winner.

This did not come without controversy...

Fuck you, world!

USA! USA!

USA...!

Ha-ha!

...have now confirmed that

Secretary Clinton has conceded

to Donald Trump.

Uh, this concession took place in a phone call.

It is my high honor...

...to introduce to you

the President Elect of the United States

of America, Donald Trump.

No!

Oh, my...

no...

USA!

USA!

Oh, Ivy, no!

Is that bad? Did he win?

Oh, go to hell, Huffington Post!

Fuck you, Nate Silver!

Oh, my God, how could they have been so wrong about this?

You have to do your cookie breathing

- You've got to do your cookie breathing. - I can't do my cookie breathing.

- Give me one deep breath. - No.

Freedom!

Oh, my God, Ivy.

Merrick Garland.

What's gonna happen with Merrick Garland?

You want to know who to get mad at for this?

Our own state of Michigan.

She's losing by 10,000 votes.

That's the size of this town.

And who's at 40,000 votes and counting?

Jill Stein.

Is that true?

...path to victory that was unlike

anything we've ever seen. It did not come

without controversy. It did not come

without splitting this country

in some of the most divisive language.

It does come now,

at a time where his supporters say,

"This is the evidence..."

I hope every one of those voters who decided it was

a good time to cast a protest vote is happy when that...

psycho gets us all killed.

Honey, don't get so worked up.

Shut up, Marylin.

I told you to go vote, but you didn't listen.

Now look what happened. Look at our friends on the couch

and tell them that they might not be able to maintain

their rights as a married couple because you were too busy today

on Etsy to go vote!

I don't want you to not be married anymore.

Oh, sweetheart.

Sweetheart, come here.

Listen to me, you don't have to worry about that.

That is never going to happen.

Okay?

Oz, you don't have to worry.

'Cause nothing is gonna happen to us.

Okay?

...Donald J. Trump of New York.

♪ Om... ♪

It's gonna be... huge.

It's really good you didn't come, actually.

Everyone's losing their shit.

It's like we went to a wedding

and it turned into a funeral.

We gave a year of our lives to this.

I dropped out of Vassar.

Why would they send us to Florida

when we should've been in Wisconsin?

What if I get pregnant now?

Where will I get an abortion?

I know. Everyone's upset.

Oh, God.

What is wrong with CNN

for not giving us a trigger warning

before they announce the results?

I just... I don't know what's real anymore.

She was supposed to win.

Is this really happening?

Oh, my God.

You're kind of scaring me right now, Winter.

You cannot self-harm again.

Don't go back down that road.

Winter?

Jesus.

You're such an asshole.

Did you come in here to rub it in?

Get out!

Get out!

I'm just so scared now.

Everyone is.

Come here.

Wait, stop.

- Stop. - Getting to your favorite part.

Wait.

Somebody's watching us.

I can feel it.

I know who. Twisty.

What are you talking about?

It was like 50, 60 years ago.

Mm-hmm?

Right here on this spot.

A deranged clown attacked a couple on a picnic.

He hacked the dude to death.

They say you can tell it's him by the layer of drool

he leaves behind 'cause he got his jaw blown off

by a shotgun blast.

You're such an asshole. You're just trying to scare me.

'Cause I know it turns you on.

Oh, my God.

Oh!

Get out of here.

Get out of here!

I'm gonna blow you away, fucker.

Oh, my...

Please help!

Help!

Oh, my God.

911 operator. What's your emergency?

Hello. Hello?

911 operator. Can I have your location?

No! No!

Hello? Ma'am, I can't hear you.

Are you in need of assistance?

Ma'am?

Wrong number.

"Rraarrrggha...

nnumbber."

Ozzie, sweetheart.

You were supposed to be asleep 30 minutes ago.

Come on. What are you reading?

- Nothing. - Ozzie.

Come on, honey. A picture of a bare breast

or an erect penis never hurt anyone.

Come on, fork it over.

Come on.

Mom!

Mom!

Aah! I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.

You know I can't.

- You know I'm afraid. - I'm sorry.

- It's not your fault, Oz. - You know I'm afraid.

I can't look at that.

- Why would you have it in the house? - It's just...

Stop it! God!

Oh, no!

That's why it's called a phobia.

It's an irrational fear.

Doesn't make it any

less scary for your mom,

but it's just a comic book.

Just a comic book.

Okay. Okay.

Come on.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

- I'm sorry. - Here.

Come here.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

All right.

Okay.

We should all get to bed.

Okay?

Okay? She'll be fine.

Good night.

I am so sorry. My phobias

are starting to affect our son.

Whatever the reason is...

we'll work through it.

Okay?

We will now take statements

from the public on 73-52, approving extended overtime

for sheriff's deputies to stand guard

at the Jewish Community Center on Wildcliff Lane.

First, and only, on the list to speak,

is Kai Anderson

from 4318 Commodore Court.

My fellow Americans,

what do humans love the most?

To what do we give our highest value?

Is it family...

friends...

our homes... money...

notoriety?

No.

Above all, humans love fear.

The fear that, over time, we have honed

and polished and built up, brick by brick,

until it stands before us

every day as tall as the Trump Tower.

How do I know we love fear more than our children?

Because we are willing to ruin their lives

in service of some irrational fear of losing them.

No, Billy, you can't walk to school today.

What if somebody kidnaps you?

Clara-Belle, don't listen to rap music.

You might get bad ideas about yourself.

Every day

we are choosing fear over freedom.

Freedom of movement, freedom of congregation,

- freedom of thought... - I'm sorry.

I'm not seeing what this has to do with the motion.

Because you don't see anything.

None of you do.

Fear is currency.

It has value.

We don't need more cops.

We need less.

We don't need to protect the Jewish Community Center.

We need to let them blow it up!

Order!

I'm trying to help you. Don't you see?

They want to be scared.

They yearn to be so scared

that they don't have to think anymore,

that they don't have to want for anything anymore.

Fear will release them from their desires

and their ambitions

and their bullshit needs!

And then they will come running to us like children

in a feverish nightmare.

And the chosen few who are not afraid

of the seas and the heights

and the beasts of the world will return

at the head of the evolutionary table to shepherd the weak

into the chosen promised land

- of truth and freedom! - Okay.

Okay. Let me get this straight.

You want us...

to just let chaos reign in our community

so that everyone gets so scared that they'll, what,

give us some sort of unlimited power to protect them?

Haven't you been watching what's going on in the world?

I'm just telling you what's happening, man.

Mm-hmm. Young man...

I appreciate that a lot of you 4chan guys

feel empowered to join the rest of us in civil society

now that Papa Bear Trump is telling you it's okay.

But let me send you a message.

This is a blip,

a temporary intifada.

I know it feels good to have your worst instincts validated,

but don't be fooled. Use this opportunity,

now that you're out of your parents' basement,

to meet a few people that aren't like you.

You are afraid. We are not.

And with no one else to speak,

let's vote on 73-52.

Those in favor.

Opposed.

Motion passes.

On to the next order of business.

What was that?

I said there is nothing more dangerous in this world

than a humiliated man.

Our housekeeper is gone. Did I mention that?

The moment that man got elected, she just stopped showing up

and we don't know if she went back to Guatemala

or was rounded up.

It's awful. I honestly don't know

how I'm gonna get through the next four years, Dr. Vincent.

I really don't.

My anxiety is just as intense now

as it was on election night.

I just keep reliving it over and over

and it's triggered all the old phobias.

And I thought I-I-I put that behind me years ago.

- The recurrence of the coulrophobia? - Yes.

The clowns.

But also...

...confined spaces and, uh, uh, blood...

particles in the air, the dark,

that coral thing that's been staring at me

since I came in here.

- You have a fear of coral? - No.

No, uh...

I-I, uh...

It's the holes. I...

It's repulsive.

It's been sitting there for months.

Yes, I know,

and I have been managing that.

It's just...

since election night,

everything is just so much worse.

This is just like what happened to me

in college after 9/11 when I couldn't leave my apartment.

But you got through it.

Ivy got me through it.

Meeting her...

wanting to be well enough to be with her...

to prove to her that I was stable enough

to make a life with.

I was willing to white-knuckle it,

but then I didn't have to...

because Barack was elected

and-and it was as if the universe...

righted itself.

I loved our president.

I was proud of him.

And for the first time, I was included in the discussion,

in the world.

Do you want to know how I'm dealing?

I cut out social media.

Deleted my Twitter account.

I don't need to know every crazy thing

that's happening in the world,

especially if there's nothing I can do about it.

I put all my energy

into working out.

You do look good.

Heh.

CrossFit?

TRX.

Now, I want you to check out of the world

and into your life.

And I'm prescribing a mild anti-anxiety medication.

Oh, no. No, no, no. I-I-I don't like to take drugs.

And I don't like prescribing them, but you need them.

Look, we're all uneasy with the state of the world,

but your reactions have been

extreme, and if you don't do something about it,

it's going to affect your child,

your marriage, everything.

It already has.

It's all gonna be okay.

Is it?

...and a fair hearing

for their concerns.

But then the quiet voices

became a loud chorus,

as thousands of citizens now spoke out together

from cities small and large...

Seems slow tonight.

Yeah. I guess everybody's at home

watching the president's speech.

Yeah. Can you believe the stuff he's saying?

Yeah, I know.

We finally got a real leader in Washington.

...but crucial demand,

that America must put

its own citizens first

because only then can we truly

make America great again.

Hello?

♪ Left with nothing ♪

♪ It's better than something ♪

♪ Left with nothing ♪

Help.

Help me.

Oh...

Who are you?!

Aah!

What's up, babe?

Ivy. Ivy!

They're trying to kill me.

What do I do? What do I do?!

I don't understand.

What are you talking about?

Are you still at the store?

Just stay where you are. I'm calling the police.

Don't hang up, Ivy!

Calm down, Ally. Just breathe.

All right, thank you.

So, what did he say?

Did they find anything?

He said they're looking into it.

What does that mean?

There wasn't anything on the security cameras?

Didn't they talk to the cashier?

He just saw you screaming in the aisles

and throwing bottles of rosé.

He didn't hear the music. He didn't see any clowns

having sex in the produce section.

Well, that's not possible.

Ivy, I am not making this up.

I know you're not. I know you're not.

I was targeted.

I am telling you I was terrorized.

Chased with a knife through the store.

And their masks,

they were...

They had holes.

It was like they knew my fears.

They wanted to murder me.

Mom?

Uh, Oz, let's, um...

Let's get back to bed.

Okay? Come on.

Thank you.

I didn't realize we were so far behind.

Well, you haven't been here since the election.

Um, I need your feedback on the menu.

It's not like I haven't tried, Ivy.

It's... it's exactly like you haven't tried.

Before we opened this place,

we had an agreement.

I know, I'm front of the house.

You're the face.

The open, lovely, beautiful face

of The Butchery on Main, and I'm in the back

with the knives and the flames.

It's the only way it works.

I'm not the only one who is having a hard time

adjusting to this new world we are living in.

When was the last time you came?

I am talking about the state of our country.

For me, once in the last month.

With no help from you.

I expect more from a marriage.

You want to leave me?

Is this a threat?

- No, I... - Jesus.

I am being patient with you.

I'm standing by you.

Defended you in front of the police

when things sounded crazy.

Does that seem like someone who wants out?

No. What I want is my partner back.

The woman I fell in love with.

The one I love.

Isn't this more important than some...

stupid election?

Yes, of course.

You are right.

I am so sorry, and I promise you...

I'm going to get this under control.

I am going to focus and get back to work.

- Okay. - Okay.

What?

This means we're gonna have to get a new nanny for Oz.

Right.

I'll go home and write the ad for the new nanny.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I want you to know I appreciate you.

I really do, and I am so grateful

that you didn't tell anybody.

Well, you did it, and now it's done.

Ivy. Hey.

You forgive me.

You're my wife.

When I got into the booth, I-I couldn't do it.

I tried.

You know that I did, but as much as I hate him,

I didn't trust her.

But Jill Stein?

Come on, you can't blame me.

She didn't campaign enough in the battleground states.

She... she went to Arizona, for God's sake.

Really? We needed 10,000 votes,

and you would have been one of them.

Oh!

- Jesus Christ! - Sorry, man.

I tripped-- you should have not been blocking the sidewalk.

There was plenty of room to go around, asshole.

Enjoy your latte, bitch.

Have a nice day.

- Are you okay? - Uh...

I'm fine. Are you okay?

Oh, my God.

Wanted: part-time nanny

for an active ten-year-old boy.

We are a two-mom household looking for open-minded,

responsible in-home help.

Applicant should have a sunny disposition,

excellent references,

and a valid, in-state driver's license.

Winter. That's a pretty name.

Thanks. Some people call me "Winnie."

So... Winter,

why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Assume the position.

Pinky out.

You know the rules.

Once physical contact has been initiated,

you've consented to answer all of my questions.

Agreed?

The naked truth--

brutal honesty.

Now, tell me, woman...

what fills your heart with dread?

Children. I've always enjoyed children.

I did a lot of babysitting in high school.

Your most humiliating experience, tell me.

In fifth grade, Marci Ross found

a love letter I'd written to Paula Abdul.

She made copies and spread it around.

Are you a dyke?

I was at Vassar until last year.

English lit.

Women's studies.

I left during my junior year,

but I fully intend on going back.

I'm just not ready yet.

Why not?

For the same reason I left.

Me and a bunch of girlfriends put our education on hold

so we could work full-time on Hillary's campaign.

What's, uh, the most physical pain

you've ever experienced

that you didn't do to yourself?

When I let Scottie Mickels do anal.

I'm so sorry.

Don't be. It was worth it.

Proudest moment of my life was when Lena Dunham

re-tweeted me.

I got almost 6,000 followers from that.

Just not enough to elect the first woman president.

What's the most intense moment of pleasure

you've ever had?

When I let Scottie Mickels do anal.

Was there blood?

Yes.

And poop?

School is-is just so political, you know?

I just felt like I needed a break from all that.

And I thought that becoming a part of someone else's life--

a family-- would be something good.

Who was the last person that you wanted to kill?

I've never wanted to kill anybody.

Bullshit. You're a liar.

The salt-of-the-earth Americans

who elected our president...

you want them dead...

don't you?

Don't you?!

When can you start?

What's the thing that scares you the most?

Honestly, Kai?

You.

♪ La cucaracha ♪

♪ La cucaracha ♪

♪ La cucaracha ♪

♪ La cucaracha ♪

♪ La cucaracha ♪

♪ La cucaracha ♪

♪ La cucaracha, la cucaracha ♪

Oh.

♪ La cucaracha ♪

♪ La cucaracha ♪

♪ You asshole wetbacks aren't welcome here no more ♪

♪ Selling drugs and doing crimes ♪

Ho!

- Puto muerto! - Andele!

For a night tasting? This is supposed to be work.

You get the full treatment. Maybe...

it'll put you in the mood later.

Well, alcohol always helps.

Think about this for the prix fixe menu.

Okay. Hey.

This is fun.

Who says I can't be romantic?

This is good soup.

My mom's a chef.

Which one?

Ivy.

Which one's your real mommy?

They're both.

I mean which one carried you in her belly?

I forgot.

Maybe they never told me.

They ever tell you about your dad?

Everybody has one.

I'm supposed to say,

"Every family is special in their own way."

What's that?

Twisty. He's a killer clown.

Is that a knife?

And a dead body?

Are you going to tell my moms?

Have you ever seen a real dead body?

Thank you.

Oh, man.

Just stop tweeting.

Is this for real?

It's called the Dark Web.

It's where you can find all the cool stuff.

Scared?

Good.

- What's going on? - Oh!

There was a clown!

Are you insane?

He was right there.

He was right there!

He was right here. I swear to God.

Where did he go?

There is no one here!

Where are you?!

Ally, please.

Ally, I was just here.

There's no one.

I know what I saw, Ivy!

I know what I saw!

Please.

Will you stop?

This is ridiculous.

Where are you?

- Oh, my God. - Ally, calm down.

Where the fuck is he?

I swear.

I swear to you, I saw him right there.

What about the bloody crumpet

and the fingers in the endive?

It's a spinach soufflé

with truffle oil.

No, no, no.

No.

Have you been taking your medicine?

You need to start doing that.

I think I'm going insane.

I think I'm losing my mind.

I don't want to see this anymore.

Have you ever been vaccinated

for chicken pox or measles?

This is like a vaccination, but for your brain.

It hurts at first, but it makes you better.

Don't you want to be strong?

Okay.

I'll get some cookies.

Aah!

What?

I took the pill.

Oh, I'm sorry if I don't like altering my body chemistry

with controlled substances.

Says the woman who's never turned down a wine pairing.

Stop the car, stop the car.

Oh, my God, Ivy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, ladies.

This is a crime scene.

We live here and our son is in that house.

Oz!

Oz!

Ozzie!

- Oz! - Ozzie!

Ozzie!

Oz!

Mama!

What happened?

Oh, no. The Changs.

Crazy, right? I tried to call you guys.

Thom and Marylin?

Are they okay?

They're dead.

It was the clowns.

I saw them get out of the ice cream truck.

They just stood there and stared at me.

Winter! Winter!

Dude, slow down.

But you have to see this.

What is wrong with you?

Can we go back?

We're not supposed to be outside.

Shh.

Come here. I'll lift you up.

Tell me what you see.

Please.

I tried to tell the police, but she won't let me.

Oz, why don't you go inside?

Your moms will be in in a second.

Now you want to look after him? Are you fucking kidding me?

Officer, would you take him over there for just...

- Ivy, no. - Just for a second.

Please, honey.

Just for a second.

It's okay, baby.

Look, I'm not calling your son a liar.

He's an imaginative kid, but none of that happened.

We came out here when we saw a bunch of police cars pull up.

That was after I found this in his room.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Should have thrown it away.

Oh, my God.

He has night terrors.

He doesn't even know he's asleep.

Oh, my God, Ivy.

Oh, God.

Don't look.

Look, there's that detective.

Detective.

Can you tell us what happened?

I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't talk about it right now.

Oh, that's bullshit.

The Changs were our friends.

We know them.

What happened in there?

Who did this?

Are we even safe here?

You're gonna be fine.

There was nobody else involved.

It looks like a murder suicide.

I'm sorry.

Ivy?

Ivy, did you hear that?

Ivy?