Original subtitles

Oh, Papa, soak up the rose. Mama's got to ride tonight.

Oh, come on, Papa, ride me around.

That's it, Papa, that's it. Give your baby a ride.

Papa's doing all he can, Mama.

Here, move up just a little bit.

That's it, right there.

Oh, yeah, that's it. She gets beautiful.

Just hold that idol like that for a while, Papa.

Just how long is the wow?

Well, that's up to you, Papa.

I mean, you got it up. We may as well go till we get it off.

Oh, yeah.

It's me, Papa.

Got to pop it in the second.

Come on, now.

Stop that wheezing.

You ain't getting off the hook that easy.

I wasn't trying to, Mama.

Oh, come on, Papa.

You sound old enough to be a classic.

I was down 10 years ago.

Look what you've done.

You broke the stride.

Put my evidence back where it was.

Gladly, my dear.

All right.

Okay,

Papa. Take me where I want to go.

Oh, I want you to drive me. I want you to drive me hard.

Step on it, Papa.

Give me some steam, Daddy.

Come on, faster.

Don't give up now.

We're almost there. We're getting there. That's the way to drive me. Yeah, we're

getting there. Good.

Just be quicker.

Thank you, Josh. That's right.

Yeah. Oh, we're almost there.

We're almost there.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And Martin, don't forget it's Mrs. Johnson.

And Friday 10th. Oh, and Mark, kind of wash it with Sissy.

She's a bit prone toward puppy love.

That wasn't funny, Mark.

You can leave your sense of humor home with your cocker sandals.

Well, how would you feel?

Maddie's kept us as far removed from it as possible, and suddenly I am... All of

a sudden me.

I hadn't meant that personally.

Maybe we're going about this all wrong.

I know I'm supposed to be your teacher or something, but if you think this is a

first for you... I mean, before you can make love to someone,

you have to seduce them.

And you don't know the first thing about seducing somebody.

Oh, seduction is very big around here.

It's just one man after the other.

Why don't we make a game out of it?

What do I win?

How about a vacuum cleaner? Or how about a free cruise to Tijuana?

Look, first of all, I see that we're really at a party.

And you picked me up downstairs.

You got me to meet you up here, right?

Were you easy?

I'm not supposed to be, but for you, that was a push-up.

Seem to have a head start.

Why don't you, uh, let me get that.

Well,

it might be a little more fun if you investigated what you found.

I guess I don't like it as well as women do.

Nothing more to turn on to a man.

Rub your hand over the head like that.

That's it. Open wide.

Look at how that.

I want you to leave it there.

Keep your mouth open.

Keep your tongue out.

Up and down now.

That's it.

That's it, right?

Keep your tongue out of your mouth now.

I love you.

Didn't I know?

Mark? Yeah?

Can I ask you a personal question?

Yeah, go ahead.

Well, what are you doing not to do for young girls anyway?

Well, believe it or not, I spend a lot of my time in the park. We're always

skating or playing basketball.

You're teasing me.

It's easy enough to check me out on that.

My father used to say that when people have too much money, they have an

tendency to get a little crazy and tend to overindulge themselves.

That's sort of how it is with Duke Benton.

The old buzzard must be worth over five million, and all he wants to do is play

cowboy. He bought this ranch about ten years ago, and I don't think he's been

off it since.

Now, Duke's got one boy.

He'd love to get the kids settled down. The important thing here is not to get

into any kind of competition.

Now, if the kid seems to go for one of you, the other one just fades out of the

picture. Do we all understand that?

What's his name, son?

Well, his name's Jason, but I think he calls himself Kate.

Oh, that's cute.

I could call him Jason.

No, honey, you'll call him Kate.

Whatever you say, Maddie.

You remember what it's all for.

Miss Stone's an old friend of your daddy's, and you're going to be nice to

your daughter.

Are you listening to me, Jay?

Well, I hear you, Pa, but I've got me a mess of work to get done around here

now.

Damn it, boy, don't give me none of your bullshit.

You left, Patty.

You can forget about me and Foreman around here, and I'll kick your ass off

to that agriculture in the city.

Well, Pa, I sure don't want to go to no agriculture college in the city.

Jason, get off your ass and help these girls out of the car. Come on.

I'll never remember you and Charlie having a daughter.

Charlie and I didn't. Yeah, Harry.

You know, Charlie, I always loved to travel.

Forever on the move, that old bugger to me.

Yeah.

You two never could stay in one place too long.

Goddamn, honey, you'll feel like a head right here.

Get this thing off of here.

I'll get it. I'll get it.

Now you're talking, huh?

I'm going to put you in my hair, huh?

Wait, wait. I'll put you in my hair right now.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

This is it.

Big Manda.

Big Manda.

Big Manda.

Big Manda.

Big Manda. Big Manda.

This

is

really great.

I never know you could really fall in love at first sight.

You know, we're going to have us a great life.

I mean, a real life.

Like folks have forgotten to live.

We're going to be up at five every morning just to get our own fresh eggs

and milk.

And you're going to love milk, and I can just tell somehow.

Yeah, then we'll cook us up a real breakfast.

Yeah, but pretty soon we'll have a whole mess of young'uns around here.

And you'll have yourself your own little garden so everything will be nice and

fresh.

And then every Sunday, we're going to have the whole family over for fried

chicken. Real fried chicken.

And we're going to cook them up ourselves.

And I tell you, we'll slaughter little shits right here in the backyard.

And, you know, it's easy. I'll show you how you do it. You just grab the little

buckers by the neck, see?

I don't know what I said. Wait, come on.

I don't know what I said.

What did I say?

Yeah, what did I say? Oh, man, you are out of your mind.

You want me to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning, have a maybe 10, and go

pick up a few. Oh,

Betty. Come on, Betty, come on.

That's one of the best talks I've ever had.

Any longer in my army career.

He was a 12-year-old nymph. He was wonderful.

And, of course, I married him. And, of course, I married him.

And, of course,

I married him. And, of course, I married him.

And, of course,

I married him.

And, of course, I married him.

And, of course,

I married him.

It looks like your final guests are coming.

Baroness, before the night's over, all my guests will be coming.

Ah, yes.

Probably only one.

Carousel! Ah, dear, dear, dear.

Vineyard! Oh, only because Carol insisted on you being in private.

And look what happened to him for a solitary fornicator that he was.

Need it must be your charming daughters.

Where have you been keeping them?

Out of harm's way, Harrison.

Until tonight, Maddy. May I present Penelope and Cecilia. Go, Sister

Harrison Price, our divine host.

Delighted. Your presence lights up my house.

Baroness, may I present dear old friend, Madeline Stone, and her daughter.

Maddy used to be quite a game player.

Before my time, I'm sure.

Oh, my dear Baroness, I'm sure nothing was before your time.

Ladies, shall we join my guests?

Come along, darling.

Right you there.

And mine, oh, damn it. Mine.

How gentle. I'd like you to meet Madeline Stone, my daughter.

Which one is mine, Harris?

Oh, hello, Charles.

How have you been?

I'd like you to meet my two daughters. This is Cecilia, Penelope.

Charles, this is Charles Dantzler III.

Oh, it must be.

I suppose every woman in the world must recognize me by now.

That's cause.

Excuse me, Mr. Dancer. We have to freshen up.

You still haven't told me which one is mine, Harrison.

How come nobody's snatched up that gorgeous man yet?

Well, don't worry. Plenty of time.

He senses himself quite the lover, doesn't he?

Well, he brags that he can lay any woman he wants, so why get side down?

You could tie me down any time, any place you wanted to.

I told you to lay off.

Now, Harris won't be passing out envelopes with instructions on how to

play a game for the evening.

Don't do what it says on the card.

Trust your mother.

And don't forget, I could care less who wins any hair at these contests tonight.

We're after a bigger game, right?

You're right.

Did I win?

Yeah. How are you doing, Santa? Any thoughts?

Got his eye, baby.

Oh, you've got more than his eye, darling. Anybody could have seen the

rolls in his pants from across the room.

Not that.

No, really.

Damn.

Now, honey, you know perfectly well there's no more sincere compliment in

the world than a hard-on.

I don't even know what to do next, so... You could screw him half to death and

just tell him you forgot to take your birth control pill.

Mother. I forgot something from the car.

God, you never want me to know anything.

Sometimes, God help me, I think you know too much. Oh, what did you read?

An extra pack of cigarettes. That's mine, sorry.

All right.

You know,

it is really working.

I mean, finally, it's really working.

Thank you.

Oh, I know Charles Dancer III is insufferable, but... He's rich.

Rich, rich.

Nanny, this whole thing out there has been kind of really sick.

I mean, really sick.

Sickest. Oh, I know. The richer they are, the nuttier.

Look, in this life story, the rich only get richer. And it's the obligation of

the poor to do something about it.

Nanny, as far as I'm concerned, it's more to life than that.

You... say that because you haven't the least conception of poverty.

Well, let me tell you something, young lady.

Poor people have a very unattractive odor and bad teeth.

And that is hardly the most healthy climate for our lifelong romance.

You know?

All right, Maddie.

What do I do next?

Brush your teeth.

Yes.

He's been with her all this time?

Mm-hmm.

Who else has put up with all my crap?

Well, Maddie isn't so bad.

She can shift just a little sometimes.

Try to be patient with her, Sissy.

I think that you may remind her of her own past.

Speaking of time, I think you'd better get back in there.

From what I hear about this party, I think you're going to need both your

tits.

Let me have it. Give me the gum. Come on.

Well,

because you're pretty and young and bright.

Well,

I wouldn't say exactly washed up, but we have to be practical about these things,

you know.

Because you certainly do have what it takes. You've got the knowledge.

You've got the know-how with these type of people and men.

You haven't lost your looks at all.

In fact, the only thing you've lost, Mother, is your self-confidence.

Well, I had a go when the first crowfoot showed up, you know.

There.

I

guess I

have been really so hard for her.

Really acted like Mother at all.

Tell me, child.

Have you read the story of Earl?

Yes.

I think I read about him in the next phone call.

It's not a him, it's a her.

But how did you meet him?

Walked from at the cleaner, actually.

I really find you quite attractive.

But you need to be a bit more assertive.

What do you mean?

I have a feeling that there's a real tiger.

There must be somewhere deep within you.

It's just waiting to leave out.

I doubt that.

Why

don't

we just split and take a cruise on my yacht?

The Riviera?

Bangkok?

Rangoon?

I've had a trip to the Mouton last time.

I'm out of wine.

You're a challenge, aren't you?

Don't worry.

You'll melt.

I must say, Mr. Feinberg, you do this excellent table.

The best food for the best people.

What about that?

Do they know the rules?

Not yet.

Have you forgotten?

I never invite the same people to game night.

Yeah.

Perversions are known only to me.

That's a very change as time goes on. Only for the sophisticated, like you and

me.

The others, they're still locked into their simple-minded, repetitive nature.

In other words, the same old shit.

Tell us about how the game is to be played, old sport.

So we can get on with it.

In time, dear General.

In time.

But to what extent?

Knowing and sewing.

that he or she is the most versatile sexual athlete

in this gathering of renowned superstars.

You may serve the coffee. Yes.

In the envelope are your instructions for the two games to be played. If my

judgment is right about your productivity,

You should love the first game.

But if you can't cope with the second one, the person who lasts the course is

the ultimate winner.

Have fun, my sweet, and come all you like, if you can.

You might even learn something about yourself.

We'll let them play their little game.

You were going to read the cards?

What's the...

Nature of our little wager.

From these cards, I'll predict the winner of the games.

I'll bet you 5,000.

Against a candlelight dinner with an old friend.

You're on.

I've never made it with royalty before.

Well, I've never been with a fashion model, for that matter. Not even in your

imagination?

I love your outfit.

I thought you would. I brought one for you.

Let's see what happens.

Aristocracy is very vocal these days.

So far.

She's a winner.

But not for long.

This is for

you.

Read it to me.

Oh, God, no way.

You mother fucker.

All class, that broad, all class.

You know, Maddie, if I hadn't rigged this, I don't think you did.

Time for a whipping, eh?

Are you ready for my special brand of pain?

Are the nerve endings in that magnificent body of yours tingling in

anticipation of what I'm going to do to them?

Is fear frozen that lovely mouth of yours?

Speak to me.

What the hell was that?

I don't feel too good.

You're going to feel a lot worse before I'm through with you.

You see this? This is my genuine 16th century ivory Bostonado cave.

Must have been all that rich sauce we had with dinner.

For openers, how would you like these?

Sawtooth clamps around your tender breast.

And for closers, I'm going to brutally fuck every opening in your body.

Now, it must have been a true clearance I had for dessert.

You know, you...

But this cylindrical shape.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

What the hell does it look like I'm doing?

My itch.

Oh, I must be allergic to the fairness of perfume.

God, did you ever smell... How did you get out of that snap-locked manacle?

Like... like that.

Put your goddamn hands back in those cups!

Okay, okay.

Don't smell so loud, will you? I've got a headache.

Open wide, little birdie. If I do, I'm going to throw up. Throw up? I said I'm

going to heave all over your uniform if you don't get me an Alka-Seltzer. Quick.

Must have been bringing a hairy head up there, didn't it?

I'm not getting you anything but this cylindrical-shaped, spring-loaded... All

right!

Thank you, my friend. Thank you.

You're not here to feel better.

After you've tasted the kiss of this eight-foot bull's-hide whip, you'll

forget all about your upset stomach.

Oh, no.

I don't understand you. Don't you know what this thing is going to do to you?

Can't you imagine anything?

I imagine you're going to have a hard time hitting anybody with that so-called

whip. How did that happen?

What's going on here?

Well, why don't you try a rack?

I don't have a rack.

Well, that's not my fault.

Look, if you don't mind, I'm going to play with myself for a while. It's

getting awfully boring in here.

Look, I have all these instruments.

If your pecker's anything like your instruments, you're in a heap of

trouble. You can't do... this to me?

What do you mean to you, dummy?

I'm doing myself.

This isn't what's supposed to happen.

Shut up, will you?

This is one game ahead.

Oh, Leo, poor dear.

Let's see what else is happening.

Chris Marchand.

Definitely a Gemini.

And in this case, a flamingly shy one.

Needed to be treated with childlike yucks.

Hi, Chris.

Why don't you come up here by the bed?

Hi.

Oh, this is Susie.

Um, she's kind of shy, so don't mind if she doesn't talk a lot, okay?

She's really cute. You know, I think this is going to be fun.

Why don't we show them we're no underwear?

That was pretty funny. Don't you think so?

That was really fun.

Check it out.

Thank you.

Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow!

Are you deaf or something?

Hang it up.

Tell her to get the fuck out from the bed.

Why damn on the bed?

Boy, are you out of shape.

And a little chick, too.

Well, I have to make sure of it.

Oh, good. I don't know what you don't like.

Listen, Turkey, if you're lucky, I'm here at all.

Now listen to us. If you follow my instructions, we're going to have a lot

of fun.

Especially me.

But you have to pay attention, and you have to keep your mouth shut.

Except when you're eating me, of course.

Now what's the matter?

Your shoe.

Your shoe. It's on my... Oh, for God's sake, what's the matter with you anyway?

Don't you want to follow me?

I want to go home.

That means you lose, sweetie.

How can anyone make love to someone like you?

I thought that... That I was the person, sir? Right.

Another one of your little teeny boppers? Poor Chris. Didn't expect a

tiger, did you?

Open the next gate, you're to make it with a snake.

Why, you know, I'd take that little old snake and I'd eat him all up.

Exit, one Gemini.

You haven't won yet.

And that's the way it's always been, women unable to resist me.

But otherwise, the rumors are all lies.

I can and I do resist women.

Unless they have a tremendous appeal to me.

Unless they have an irresistible ability to arouse me to the fullest.

Unless it's a woman like you. I know what my touch must do to you.

How my fingers must drive you wild with lust for me.

You like me, don't you?

I mean...

You loved it.

Oh, yeah.

You know, it's hanging on. Like you say.

Please be careful of my... my mouth.

I know my touch is somehow magic. And when I do this... What lump?

Oh.

It's really nothing.

Nearly a growth.

And it's for sure not cancerous.

Not cancerous?

Probably.

My buddies were meant to be joined.

And I was passionate about them.

Anything you say.

Anything you want.

Please.

Be careful of my hand, please.

Sometimes the old ways are the best ways.

Don't you agree?

I mean, the simple but erotic missionary position.

You know, I've been told that I have a regenerative hymen. And that's why I

always lead every time.

Oh, but whatever you want.

Come on.

Yes.

It's down.

It hasn't been down since I was eight.

You've ruined it.

You've ruined me.

What a lucky fucking day for me.

Goodbye, dildo head.

I'll be back.

Goodbye to you all.

Hi, turkey.

Hey, listen.

If it runs in the family, stay out of here.

Oh, look.

It's hard enough I have to resist you anyway. At least make a place for me so

I can win the game, huh?

Hmm.

Hmm. My God.

It's the same act of life.

Come on, Tyler.

Let's see how you're going to do it.

Come here, dancer.

See that movement?

Move it, baby.

Move it, dancer.

Blew the game with your sister, but it's made the whole thing worth it.

It was really hot, wasn't it?

Hmm.

Well, I wish I could say that it was, but as far as I'm concerned, it was

lukewarm.

Well, that does take care of that.

Not quite, Maddie.

I usually have an ace up my sleeve somewhere.

Dominique, my angel.

There's a little mix in Dr.'s room.

Why don't you cut it down the side?

Where the hell do you think you're going, sweetheart?

Oh, fuck me.

Well, so much for the little trick up your sleeve, sir.

Now, let's see. Harrison Price.

Ah, yes. The devil.

Born on the cusp of leap year with his moon and escarole.

She just got disgusted and left. Where?

You asked me and I told you. She left and that's all I know.

That's right, Maddie. Just like Sissy said.

And you, what do you mean she called a taxi?

How she must have. Taxi came and picked her up.

She was gone before I even knew what was happening. Nobody seems to know what's

happening.

Only she had it made.

I had to go and borrow it.

She could have had me.

She did.

And knows the whole world could.

Shit.

I just... I don't know. I just can't let myself relate to the way Maddie, uh,

behaves.

Whatever. Well, if you try to tell Sissy, I really feel... Sissy.

Sissy, she loves life. Well, at least that's what she should be.

If you don't even understand, I, uh...

To be perfectly honest with you, I... felt that you're the only one I could

talk to.

And... And that's why I'm here.

Maybe if you and Maddie sat down... Hey!

I'm sorry I even bothered you.

You do bother.

Then it's...

I don't give away any confidences.

Besides, what's the matter with that?

Why haven't you done it?

You've got all the connections.

You've got the looks, that's for sure.

Sure, I think more.

I think you're afraid.

You know what I think?

What?

You're right.

Of what?

Of Maddie or what?

Doctor-patient relationship.

And what about these distant relationships?

Do they frighten you also?

They happen all the time.

They're not real.

And that's what you were thinking the last time we were together.

What I was thinking the last time we were together is I must be crazy to fall

in love.

I don't think that's crazy at all, Mark.

Smoke Francesca out as to who's got the big bucks and is eligible.

And don't make a move before then.

And it sounds.

Are they real rocks?

Definitely real rocks.

Come on, let me help you out of these clothes.

Hey, did you just relax?

It's wet from the water. I think I can... I can untie it, though.

Oh, it's fine. You're not just here to play.

You're here to... Just here. I've got both hands for you. Why don't you let me

help you?

Okay. Okay.

Oh, look, I'm wearing just my top.

That's a difficult shower there. I gotta help you with it.

this can't go up

Is that a girl?

Going to study?

Do you even love your sweet friend?

Who's that?

Matthews or Johnson?

May I present Clark Dayton, the boy's father and now a host.

And the owner of Tempo Steel Corporation.

How do you do, Mr. Dayton.

Listen, I'll get you a drink. And stop worrying about Sissy.

Well, as long as she's still below the experts of Mr. Dayton's son, who's

worried?

I enjoy boating, all right, when the right company is along.

I'm sure you must have your choice of just about any company you want.

But please, he mustn't let me monopolize him, you'll see. They're old enough to

take care of themselves.

Now, tell me more about your daughter.

Oh, you won't believe this.

Won't believe what?

I've got a feeling one of you is going to get mad.

What are you talking about?

Well, your John and your sister have run off together.

They left a note on the door.

Weird.

He's mad, not me.

That is, should I be?

Oh, that figure.

Taking advantage of an innocent girl. I'm terrible.

Oh, Claude.

If they're really in love.

Well, you actually don't mind, then?

Well, not if you don't.

Of course.

If he's really in love, perhaps it'll help straighten him up.

Now he can't be all that bad.

Even worse.

Oh, he's been such a total bunt, I had to disinherit him last year.

Oh, no.

That's the most outrageous story I've ever heard.

Nonetheless, true.

Another weekend, it'll all be gone.

I'll be broke.

Oh, and it just is one way.

Truly, it is, isn't it?

I've never met anyone as purely designing and ruthless as you. All

outside the boardroom of the club, of course.

Oh, yes.

I got what was coming to me, all right.

My children both run off with paupers.

Now I'm all alone and just as poor as they are.

Talk about irony.

Oh, but I've bored you enough, really.

I must be going. Sit down.

Sit down, please.

You're going to admonish me for my sins.

Truly extraordinary, woman.

That's a polite way of sending condolences to a corpse.

Your only trouble is that you've lost confidence in yourself somewhere along

the way.

Now you're making fun of me.

Not at all.

Have you ever taken a good look at yourself?

I believe you.

I'm not really clumsy.

It's just an enormous sex drive that has a pinnacle in me.