Original subtitles

After years of study, I at last believed that I had finally found the secret of

writing magic music.

Melodies that would cast a spell over women and allow me to have my way with

any one of them, anytime I wanted.

On that fateful day, I was going to try out my discovery on the grave in

Carlotta von Wallenstein.

I swear you grow more beautiful every day, Countess.

Flatterer. Tell me, Salieri, is it true what they say about your music? Does it

really induce indelicate emotions?

News spreads fast in Vienna.

I can't wait to hear you play.

Please play for me, Maestro.

It pleases? My music has a touch of magic.

It is utterly inexplicable.

That's what I call music. I'm overwhelmed, sire.

But, Countess, I'm not playing now.

I wasn't talking about your music, but about this lovely melody. It makes me

swoon in ecstasy.

Lucille! Oh, auntie, have you heard that Allegro con Franco?

Indeed, I have.

What ability!

Such masculine mastery of the keyboard.

Oh, just an impromptu, Frau Graffen. I'll play specially for you if you like.

Please do, maestro.

Ah, I almost forgot.

My niece's music teacher, maestro Wolfgang Mozart. A pleasure, ma'am.

But aren't you... You're...

Maestro Salieri, the corporate composer.

I'm so... I'm so glad to meet you.

I wanted you to listen to my music, maestro.

Oh, please, Wolfgang, play some more.

Thrill me with your divine music.

Oh, play, I beg you. Make me wet myself with pleasure.

Not bad, my boy.

Not bad at all.

Thank you.

Maestro, don't let the opportunity slip.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, Frau Grafen, how well you play my flute.

Oh, yes.

Oh,

what an arpeggio.

Oh, you're such a virtuoso.

You and my instrument.

Yes Wolfgang I can't hold out anymore

Put it in.

Yes, all the way.

That's right.

I like it.

I want all of it.

What an unexpected pleasure. I didn't dare hope for anything.

What a splendid noble ass you have, Frau Crefin.

What a marvelously soft mouth you have.

Oh, yes.

Frau Gräfing.

Oh, I love it. Oh, yes. Oh, you're magnificent.

Oh, yes.

Oh, like that. Oh, yes. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

That's it.

My tongue drives me crazy.

Yes. Oh.

Oh. Oh, Frau Greifen, this is fantastic.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

The magic.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Go on.

It's so good.

Oh,

how well your great big bow plays my violin.

Yes. No, no.

Put it back in.

Please put it back before he catches cold. We can't have that. Back inside

with you. Now I'm going to grind your organ till you come.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Make me come.

No, no, no, no. With Morgan like that, who needs a monkey?

Yes.

How good

you grind, Griffin.

What a beautiful, what a beautiful, splendid... I should

have played the cello.

Yes, yes.

I should have played an entire orchestra.

What rhythm?

If music be the fruit of love, play on.

That's it.

You drive me out of here.

I can hit the neck of your womb with my knob, for Christ's sake. I know,

gorgeous.

Hit it harder.

In.

Out. In. Out.

In.

Out. In.

Yes!

My cod's against your noble asshole.

My lovely little whore. My whoreish greyfin.

Tell me you like it.

In, out, in, out, in, out, in, out.

Put me back in.

Yes.

A little lento, what?

A cellarando?

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh. Oh, yes.

You're so good at this.

Oh, countess. I love it. Countess.

Oh, this beat's playing the piano.

Oh, yes. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yes.

Deeper. Deeper. Deeper, please, master. Yes.

Yes. Stop.

Stop. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Remember, this is my first time.

My prick.

Up your little eyes.

Oh, dear.

You're so big.

Do it!

Feel my magic flute in your trombone.

It's not a flute.

I prick up your virginal little ass, baby, and my balls, bashing

your tiny little twat.

Ah, yes.

Passion. Passion.

Stupendous.

All the way.

I am filled to my ears.

From head to toe, I feel you.

Oh, Countess, this is like a dream come true.

What a symphony.

Yes,

yes, yes.

They're dead. Water pills.

Water

bottles.

Yes.

Yes.

My mind explodes with music.

Do you like my compositions?

Isn't it wonderful?

There.

Suck me off.

That's it.

Suck.

Suck.

Con brillo.

I'm going to see if I can make beautiful music with Mozart.

What's the matter with him?

Touchy old booger.

How about an impromptu trio, maestro?

Oh, please, will we, darling? It'll be such fun with Auntie too, huh?

Very well.

But you must watch my conductor's baton and keep time.

I can't remember if

this is the right motive for that bewitching tune.

Do you like this music?

Yes, it's not bad.

Does it excite you, Fanny?

No, not at all.

That's a pretty tune, maestro.

I'd call it exciting.

Already I feel like hot all over.

There's someone at the door. I'll go see.

Is Maestro Salieri at home?

Hey, just a minute.

Who should I announce?

May I?

Yes, come in.

Good morning, maestro. I was passing here.

I hope I'm not being a... No, not at all.

Of course not.

By the way, was it you whistling that little tune just now?

Yes, that's right. Did you like it?

It wasn't bad. How did it... Wait a bit, maestro. I have another one in mind.

Please? Please do.

Well,

no, no, that's not right.

Wait, I'll improvise.

Uh huh.

It does appear to be a catchy little tune, doesn't it?

Your Majesty.

Don't stand on ceremony, Salieri.

Do you recognize this? It's one of your compositions.

Of course, Your Majesty.

And you play it rather well.

Your very bad lies, Salieri, but I appreciate your gallantry just the same.

What brings you to court this morning? Well, in my quality as court composer, I

feel I must inform you, Your Majesty, that there is a young musician in Vienna

who is infesting the city with his degenerate, vulgar, and lascivious

music, and I feel that he should be stopped.

Are you referring, by any chance, to a certain Mozart?

Ah, you've already met him.

No, but all of Vienna is... talking about him.

That's why I have summoned him to court for an audition.

He should be here by now.

You can't want that bawdy house of blasphemy in here.

I certainly do, and I shall be the severest of judges. I will not put up

with any instigation to immorality, especially in the musical field.

Maestro Mozart, your Imperial Majesty. Show him in.

Ah, stay here with me, Salieri. I want your opinion.

Your Majesty, Maestro Mozart.

Come in, please, Maestro.

Your Imperial Majesty.

What a pleasant surprise.

Salieri. I'm so glad to see you again.

You didn't tell me you were friends.

Oh, it's just a casual acquaintance.

What a magnificent instrument. May I, Your Majesty?

A few notes are slightly flat, aren't they, Maestro Salieri?

The Queen summoned you here to play your music on this instrument, not to tune

it. Quite right. What shall I play, Your Majesty?

The Queen doesn't know your repertoire. Play whatever you please.

Please sit down, Maestro. I'll improvise a little tune.

I'll call it the Queen... The Queen Bee.

In your honor, Your Majesty.

You can see what I mean?

And then...

Was first she, uh... What did I tell you? It's shameful, Your Majesty.

Not at all. I find it exciting.

Play on, young man. I like being excited.

Yeah.

Mozart. Oh, wunderbar.

Ah,

you lick my

imperial pussy nicely, young man.

You can call me Queenie. Ooh, lovely.

That is a magnificent instrument, Mozart, and it doesn't need tuning.

Oh, yeah.

Suck it, Your Majesty.

Suck it.

Yes Yes Yes

Bang me hard, Mozart!

That's an order!

Little pussy.

You make me faint.

Take no notice. Go on. Harder.

Tell me you like it.

Tell me you like it.

This is the way my

little Queenie rides.

Suck it, your imperial majesty.

Suck it.

Oh, yes.

I'm coming.

Oh, yes,

suck this horn of plenty, your imperial majesty.

Yes, suck it all up.

You see, Frau Grafen, it's imperative that a good musician have some

particular characteristics.

Quite. And I, in all modesty, can conjure up the most daring harmonies

that would really astound you, I believe.

Oh, absolutely. You do concur, don't you, Frau Grafen? Yes. And I'm not

bragging when I say that I do not fear any comparison.

Gruskot. Gruskot.

Unfortunately, recently, there are far too many scribblers.

The sad thing is that the emperor gives credit to some of them.

Naturally, this has a negative influence on our music, as you are bound to admit.

Wouldn't you agree?

I mean, you know.

Maestra, you are perhaps too severe.

Excuse me, Frau Grafen, isn't that the widow of Baron von Braunschweig? Yes, it

is indeed.

Oh, the poor creature.

I would like to offer her my...

My condolences, if you will permit.

But of course.

Frau Baroness. Maestro.

Who is this von Braunschweig, auntie? Oh, one of the emperor's ministers.

You almost certainly never met him.

Baroness.

Insolent, loud.

There you are, maestro.

Now, I want someone to make her come begging for it.

You say she's a widow?

Yes, and recently.

How tall is she?

Five foot six, five foot eight. I'm not really sure.

Five six or five eight?

Does it matter?

It's absolutely vital.

Five eight.

What have you done? This will never work.

I guarantee it. Have faith.

But will she do whatever I want whenever I want? Have faith, maestro.

One minute.

Now it's perfect.

Now please excuse me. I must finish my next masterpiece.

Give her a couple of encores.

Rudolph, my one and only love, I just want you to know that I really haven't

forgotten you, and although my amorous propensities are aroused, in fact, I'm

Randy.

I've got no substitute for your magnificent member.

You once said that I've had a face of a nun in a magnificent body, and men are

after me, so you won't turn in your grave for a mere finger job, will you,

dear?

Keep still, Rudy.

Don't move.

Yes.

Oh, I miss you.

Oh, that music.

Twiddle, twiddle, twiddle.

It drives me crazy.

What am I going to do?

Oh, it must be that insolent Italian musician.

At least he's a virtue of being in the right place at the right time.

The sooner he's in my place, the better.

Oh, it's you.

I'll come down.

Don't stop playing.

Your music has bewitched me. I'm your slave, Herr Salieri.

Please take me. Please.

Your command is my wish.

I've longed for this moment, Baroness.

Suck that mushroom.

Oh, yes, suck it. Oh, yes.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Oh. Oh.

They most materials with their tongue. Oh, I'm going to pee Oh

Put out your fire, Baroness.

Yes,

yes. But please, please continue.

Stop.

Continue, Tin, continue.

Rudy, Rudy. Rudy?

My name's Antonio Ernest.

Antonio.

My name's Antonio.

Oh, please.

I think this mushroom, this cream sauce, every drop of it, that'll lick the

plate, you beautiful, wonderful widow.

I suck on

it. Oh, yeah.

I bet Rudy died happy.

I'm so sorry. I can't make it, darling Queenie.

Don't be so familiar. Go on.

Please forgive me, Your Majesty.

I'm exhausted.

You can't leave me like this. Go on.

I'm sorry to say, Your Majesty, I've overdone it. I think I can't do it

anymore. You do as you're told or take the consequences.

I can do nothing about it. There's no way I can go on.

Forgive me.

You're insolent!

Guards! Come and arrest him and hang him for lese-majeste! But I... I... You must

be joking.

If you hang me, I'll never play for you again.

My music will die with me, Your Majesty.

It's often preferable to have a mediocre but efficient musician than a capricious

genius like you, Herr Mozart. You can't be serious.

How dare you doubt my words?

The musician has yet to be born who can get away with an unfinished sonata, let

alone a symphony. Now go. Your Majesty.

Guards!

First door on the right. Oh, thank you.

This is for you.

Thank you, maestro.

Let me do it, Fräulein Greifen.

That's the hangman. Where did he come from?

You Polish is a mean dog, Fanny, honey.

Fanny, Fanny, best ass in Vienna.

Real sweet. Here it comes.

Open up.

Do as you're told.

Oh, you're enjoying it, little maid.

Oh, babe.

Oh, please, put it back.

All of it. No sweat. Here it comes.

Lucky girl.

I want some cock now.

I want a good fucks now.

A little more.

Now come on. It's my turn.

I want to get fucked now.

Come on. Move over, Faye.

I'm a bit skinny, but a sweet ass just the same.

It's a perfect coming here.

Oh, yeah.

Excuse me.

With a perfect combination.

You like white meat and I like dark meat. Make you wet.

Let's make some milk chocolate.

Make you so wet.

Like hanging with a hangman, Fanny.

Come on, Fanny. I want to rim out your fat white ass.

Brace yourself, baby. Here comes the brown baby. Ah!

Ram it in.

Magnificent.

Open up.

Enjoying yourself?

This feels good. Sure, I'm the top cat for you sex kittens. Oh, yeah.

Does that feel good?

Take it

all.

My little niece.

Beg me for it.

Again? Some more?

Oh, my God.

You heard your white ass.

Yes.

Please. Yes.

How about some hot white sugar for my stick of rock candy, girls? Sucky!

Me too.

Me too.

Makes you want to masturbate.

Please. Don't stop.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh,

yes. I love it. Don't stop.

Oh, keep it up. Keep it up.

Oh.

Oh, fuck me, your majesty.

Fuck me.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Fantastic.

Oh, yes.

Ooh.

Yes. Oh, yes. Yes. Fuck me. Oh, yes. Oh. Oh. Oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Here.

Here, your majesty, a big skin flute to split your royal arsehole.

Yes, yes, split me up, split in, watch me as if I...

Oh,

yes.

Oh, your majesty.

Oh, your majesty.

Oh.

Feel you

Oh, yes.

Oh,

yes.

Oh, which one do you prefer, your minister?

Oh,

oh. Two tunes at the same time.

Harmony. Oh, let's harmonize. Ah, ah.

oh oh oh

Do you like my temple?

Together. Yes.

Maestro Salieri, what a pleasure to see you. Have you come to bring me comfort?

Actually, I urgently need your help, Maestro Mozart.

What?

My help?

When I'm going to be topped tomorrow?

Oh, damn it. I desperately need one of your pieces. One of your special pieces.

Let me think. What can I do about it?

Huh.

Another woman to be conquered, right?

Right.

No, maybe all is not lost. I could, in fact, you know, I mean, intercede with

the queen and try to get a pardon for you. My dear maestro, to pay you back,

I'll write anything for you. Anything.

An aria, concerto, an opera. In the meantime, write a tune for the queen.

I'll need one to convince her. Of course, yes. You know, to get you a

pardon, of course.

You need something special. That's right.

Good. Let me think.

I like it. It's a catchy little tune.

You'll see it'll work.

I know it.

Yes.

Ah, really magnificent.

Delightful music.

Fascinating, like all the music by that genius Mozart.

You was from court?

Has she given me a pardon?

I'm sorry, my son, there's no news yet.

But in the meantime, you could confess your guilt and ask for God's pardon.

Repeat after me.

Come on, my son, repeat after me.

No!

Very good, Your Majesty.

It's a tune I composed especially for you, Your Majesty.

Ah, yes, it's very pretty.

It's a bit like those melodies I used to get from Mozart.

Thank you very much, Your Majesty.

On your feet!

What did you do to be sent to the scaffold?

I stopped playing the Queen's fiddle when I should have gone on.

I hope Maestro Salieri doesn't do the same thing, or I'll be swinging.

It's so pretty, isn't it?

It's precisely what I wanted to hear, and I hope you never get tired of

playing it for me, because I'd really hate to have to throw you into my

horrible dungeons.

If you're pleased with me, Your Majesty, then you must promise me one thing.

A magnanimous gesture which I'm sure you'll never regret.

Oh, if you want me to do that, you have to wave your magic wand and make a

miracle, get it?

Got it, Your Majesty.

Good, but now play my instrument fortissimo, right to the end.

Oh, your imperial majesty, that beautiful mouth sucks heavenly music

from the spheres. You are a flute virtuoso.

It is you who left me, exalt me, maestro.

I never thought that you could bewitch me with music.

Why didn't I realize this before, maestro?

Imagine the beautiful music we could play on your instrument, ironed Mozart,

four-handed.

After all, what useful purpose can be served by sending him to the gallows?

And you can't imagine how I would love to have my instrument played by two such

masters of the keyboard.

Well, if that's what you want.

We'll see about that later. Now let's finish the duet.

Your Majesty, that is magic.

I crave new sensations.

Your Imperial Majesty, I hate to bore you, but I already told you, you can

enjoy all the new sensations you crave.

I could?

Yes. You could plumb the deepest depths of desire, scale the topmost pinnacles

of pleasure, and go on. It's all up to you, really.

So tell me, maestro, exactly what should I do?

Pardon? Mozart, your majesty.

Well, if it's absolutely necessary for new sensations, then I will pardon him

and see to it. Here, sign the dotted line.

Yes, yes.

But first things first.

Let's finish business first.

Go on.

That's triple tonguing.

Oh, yes, you're an artist, a real artist.

If you'll be so kind as to give me your attention, Your Majesty, I'll play it as

no one has ever played it before.

Very well.

I have no idea the games two musicians like Mozart and I can invent when we're

inspired by a queen like you, Your Majesty.

And what?

What inventions.

That's supposed to be a surprise, Your Majesty.

I just love surprises.

Because I'm curious.

What do you want me to do, Maestro?

Sign the pardon. Here you are. Don't be such a bore.

I promised I'd sign it later.

As you wish.

Yes, maestro, go on, keep on playing my little viola.

I love playing your viola.

Oh, I love it.

Oh, I love it. Oh,

that's

it.

Oh, yes.

being to piss herself.

Yes! Is it maestro?

This is a really royal screw.

Oh, yes, really royal.

Oh, yeah.

Royal. Royal.

Long live music and long live women!

Patricid Filiate Spiritus Sanctianum. Stop!

Stop, everyone!

The Queen has granted a pardon.

She's granted a pardon. Look, read it for yourself. The Queen has granted a

pardon. No!

Shit!

You made it just in time.

What are you doing?

Can't you see?

You were supposed to warm her up for me.

Well, to make sure it works, I have to check.

It's always better to make a check, isn't it, Annie?

Oh, I always like to make quite sure.

I'm the one who ought to make sure with you.

Checks have to be made according to certain rules, maestro, and taken

seriously. Not everybody can carry them out. You need special training.

My type is absolutely right.

All right, then show me how you make a check, maestro.

Oh.

Oh, yeah. Yes. Love it.

Let me look at you.

Take it in the ass.

Music. Music.

A pretty tune.

Don't worry, maestro.

This will suit you down to the ground.

It's a gentle melody.

Let's hope it suits.

It should be something ethereal, celestial, yes.

Celestial?

Let me think for a minute.

Oh, carry on.

You are incorrigible, huh?

Who knows which woman you're after this time?

Keep writing your music.

Is she a virgin or is she married?

What does it matter?

I need to know.

She's very virtuous.

Virtuous, huh?

Now, let me see. She's got a name, hasn't she?

Do you think I'm crazy? I certainly won't tell you that.

As you wish.

Anyway, I wish you joy of her.

You'll find that this will do the trick. Are you quite sure that it'll work play

it Thank

you

Listen

do you like this Fanny?