Original subtitles

And now, here they are.

The most daredevil group of daffy drivers to ever whirl their wheels in

the wacky races.

Competing for the title of the World's Wackiest Racer.

The cars are approaching the starting line.

First is the turbo-terrific driven by Peter Perfect.

Next, Rufus Roughcutt in Sawtooth in the Bug Wagon.

Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special.

Right behind is the Ant Hill Mob in their bulletproof bombs.

And there's Ingenious Inventor.

Hat pending in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop, the glamour gal of the gas

pedal. Next, we have the bouldermobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel.

Lurching along is the creepy coop with the gruesome Sootham. And right on their

tail is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug with Root and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those double-dealing dew batters,

Nick Dastardly and his sidekick, Buckling. And even now, they're up to

some dirty trick.

And they're off to a standing start. And why not?

They've been chained to a post by Shifty Dictasterly, who shifts into the wrong

gear. And away they go on the way out wacky races.

And there they go on another wild and wacky race. And it promises to be an

exciting one as the wacky racers race to Racine.

The Arkansas Chugabug is steaming along in first place. The Slag Brothers are

second, but seem to be in trouble.

Hey, Bobber, smells like something's burning.

And so, with the Slack Brothers and the Arkansas Truckabug temporarily out of

action... The charming Penelope Pitstop takes the lead.

But here comes Dick Dastardly, the bad boy of the backstretch.

I'm a cur on the curves, too.

All right, Bucky.

Let's give Penelope the phony publicity bits.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I haven't took that. See, it's a photographer.

And you want to take some publicity pictures of little old me?

Oh, how sweet. Go ahead, shoot.

Who turned out the lights? I can't see a little old thing.

I better stop until those little old spots go away.

And so the villainous Dick Dastardly takes the lead.

But here comes Professor Pat Kennedy, and he's determined to pass the double

zero. My dry land torpedo will make him change his mind.

A torpedo. This calls for magma power.

Curses! What a revolting turn of events!

It's gaining on us, Buckley. You drive.

I'm going to jump.

Geronimo!

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be glad to give somebody my seats.

Sunday driver!

Oh, boy, am I lucky.

Peter Perfect runs into a bit of trouble.

Oh, my goodness.

A cat.

Oh, well.

There's a lot to be said for compact cars, you know.

While the army surplus sex tries to out-slank the anthill mobs, Dick

Dastardly, back in the race, tries some rear-guard action.

One say we mix up that mixed-up sergeant more than he already is, Mudley.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hi,

what's going on?

Private Migley, why are you heading in the wrong direction?

We're supposed to go that way.

It worked. He doesn't know which way is up. Turn this popcorn popper around and

head it in the right direction.

Okay, Sarge. You're the boss.

That's better.

Halt! Halt!

Here he comes.

So long, Sarge. Give my regards to... everyone back at the starting line.

What's the matter with those races?

Don't they know they're heading in the wrong direction?

You tell them, Sarge.

Everybody's out of step but us.

The Army surplus is advancing to the rear.

The catastrophe now schemes to eliminate the ant hilltop from the race.

It's going to take an inside job to crack that mob, Muttley.

As soon as you get inside their car, gain their confidence, and then...

Whambo!

Sabotage!

Looks like we got

this race in the bag, you guys. As soon as we get the prize... We'll split it

seven ways.

Seven? Yeah, seven.

There's seven of us, ain't there?

You better count again, boss.

Huh? Two, four, six, seven, eight.

Hey, who are you?

Oh, yeah.

Smiley O'Toole.

Okay, it's an eight-way split.

But first, we got to shake that creep.

years of my life.

Where did I go wrong?

Well, if he picks up in car number five, it's finally back on the right track.

line at race scene. The drivers give it all they've got. It's still a nip and

tuck affair, though.

Uh-oh.

Bastard, he's back in the race again and coming up fast.

You bet.

And I'm going to slow down the others by using my most despicable trick.

I'm going to use slow motion gas.

Blast off, Monday.

Great work, Mudley.

So long, slowpokes.

Now it's Dick Dastardly in first place. And it looks like he's got the race in

the bag.

Yes, only 500 yards to go.

Now if our gas just holds out.

We got enough gas, Mudley?

Slow motion gas?

I mean...

Erase Mrs. Biff.

What say you, dum-dum? Can't you do anything right?