Original subtitles

And now, here they are.

The most daredevil group of daffy drivers to ever whirl their wheels in

the wacky races.

Competing for the title of the world's wackiest racer. The cars are approaching

the starting line. First is the turbo terrific driven by Peter Perfect.

Next, Rupert Roughcut and Sawtooth in the buzz wagon.

Maneuvering for position is the army surplus special. Right behind is the

anthill mob in their bulletproof bombs.

And there's Ingenious Inventor, hats pending in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Hibstop, the glamour gal of the gas

pestle. Next, we have the Boulder Mobile with the Sly Brothers, rock and gravel.

Lurching along is the Creepy Coop with a gruesome sootham. And right on their

tail is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chugabug with Lute and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those double-dealing dew batters,

Nick Dastardly and his sidekick.

And even now, they're up to some dirty trick, and they're off to a standing

start. And why not?

They've been chained to a post by Shifty Dictatorly, who shifts into the wrong

gear. And away they go on the way out wacky races.

Yes, fans, it's the Dopey Dakota Derby. And as the racers roar out of Cactus

City to go for gulch in the Badlands, it's the Chuggabuggy bouncing into first

place. The main machine is second.

But not for long.

Throw, Muttley.

Now the two cars are tied.

The wacky racers are off to a good start, folks.

All except Dick Dastardly, who seems to be tied up at the moment.

Dropped.

As the cars sneak through the badlands that are crawling with bandits, it's

Redback popping into first place.

Oh, look out for that peak, Max.

Peak?

What peak?

That peak.

In second place is the Bowler Mobile.

dropping into its own style of rock and roll driving.

The surplus six is heading straight for those huge boulders.

Sergeant Blanche must have rocks in his head.

Keep going, Private Meekly.

Got rocks in my head, huh?

Meanwhile, after a very tying experience...

Dick Dastardly is starting to unwind. And there he goes!

It suddenly hit me.

The tree?

No, a good bad idea.

Since this is the bandit-infested Badlands, a bandit would scare the wacky

racers away.

Quick, Muddy, my dirty disguise kit.

There. With our disguises, no one will recognize us.

We'll hit them off with the pass.

Hi-ho, Mean Machine!

Away!

The number 10 bus wagon driven by Rufus Rupcut has run into a dead-end canyon.

There is no way through.

What tunnel?

This tunnel!

He made it! Can't nothing stop you, Rubus Rupcut?

Junk my brakes!

Well,

yuck anyway.

There he goes!

Some of the other Wacky Racers are following in Rough Cut's tracks.

Straight down!

Oh, I can't look.

There goes another.

Thank y'all for the lift, Gruesome.

You're welcome.

We made it!

Now the Compact Pussycat is ahead by a knack.

As the Wacky Racer's near Bad Rock Canyon, Red Max overtakes the Converter

Car.

Which makes Professor Pat Henning mad.

Hopping mad.

And he springs ahead just as they enter Bandrock Canyon Pass.

Here we are at the other end of the pass.

But where are the racers?

What could be holding them up?

It's not what's holding them up.

It's who.

Just look around, ma'am.

Oh, my.

It's Dead We Dick, the baddest bandit in the badlands.

Pleased to meet you, sir.

You won't be.

Okay, wacky racers, since you won't turn around, you're going to see what my guns

can do.

Oops.

was meant for me.

It was?

Oh, gee, I'm sorry.

Here, you can have it.

Maybe we ought to turn back, Sarge.

I've never seen a tree that can make me back away.

Fire!

You've seen one now.

According to our radar scope, Sergeant Blast has helped Dick Dastardly

pile up a big leaf.

Now's our chance, Motley.

Just don't stretch your luck, Dick Dastardly.

This'll be a snap!

And there he goes, folks, passing the other cars like they were sitting still.

Nothing can stop me now!

Double Drat!

Cheer up, Muddy. I've got a good bad plan.

Danger! Beware!

Deadweed Dick's territory.

Go back or else.

Why, that is downright unfriendly. Don't fret, Nun.

Deadweed's probably nowhere near.

Oh, yeah?

Now get!

Out of the way! I'm a-comin' through!

I'll fix your wagon!

Yo! Never seen a body so steamed up!

Now did it! If you want to get past me, you'll have to draw!

Mmm, peachy!

I just love to draw.

You do?

Sure enough, I'm the fastest draw in the West.

Fire!

Egads, I'm beautiful!

What eyes!

What a chin!

What a profile!

Now,

what do you want?

What a joke! Tricked by my own good looks!

Now what do you want, you miserable mutt?

Shortcut to Gopher Gulch.

You're a nice, miserable mutt.

You drive, Muttly. I'll ride shotgun.

Yahoo!

The wacky racers are nearing the end of the race to go for gulch. At the finish

line, where the crowd is tense, Sheriff Sam, the official judge, is watching for

the winner.

They are coming, folks!

I see the anthill mob and the double zero ridden by... Did we dick?

The fattest bandit in the badlands!

Here they come, folks, neck and neck, heading for the finish line.

and the antelope, number seven, is the winner, with Professor Peck pending,

number three, second, and the crimson hay baler, number four, third.

What's the idea, Sheriff?

Can't you see I'm dastardly?

Yep, you sure are dastardly, did we, Dick? But your dastardly doings are

done. It's the gopher goat's whose gal for you.

Drat!

Thank you.