Original subtitles

And now, here they are, the most daredevil group of daffy drivers to ever

whirl their wheels in the wacky races, competing for the title of the world's

wackiest racer. The cars are approaching the starting line. First is the turbo

-terrific driven by Peter Perfect.

Next, Rufus Roughcut and Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon.

Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special. Right behind is the Ant

Hill Mob in their bulletproof bombs.

And there's Ingenious Inventor, hat-pending in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Kidstop, the glamour gal of the gas

pedal. Next, we have the motor-mobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel,

marching along in the creepy coupe with the gruesome twosome. And right on their

tail is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chugabug with Brute and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those double-dealing dew-batters,

Nick Dastardly and his sidekick, Buckley.

And even now, they're up to some dirty tricks, and they're off to a standing

start. And why not? They've been chained to a post by Shifty Dictaculate, who

shifts into the wrong gear.

And away they go on the way out wacky races.

Clear the highway.

Here they come.

Hear those wacky engines run.

It's the wacky racers roaring along in a nail-biting pace.

And on this leg of the race, they're hot-footing it from Ankle Lake, Alabama

to the finish line at Shinsplint, Louisiana.

Red Max is desperately trying to keep ahead of the villainous Dick Dastardly.

Pretty Penelope Pitstop in the compact pussycat has all the other cars in her

suit. She leads them on a merry chase in the dismal swampland.

Oh, soggy box. That'll slow her down.

Oh, damn me.

Something's happened to Penelope.

Having automotive trouble, pretty Penny?

I'm giving my little old wheels a quick drip-dry wash, because they won't run

with that dirty old mud on them. How feminine.

Of course they will, Penny.

Watch.

On second thought, perhaps you're right.

Look who's out in front now.

Say, Dastardly, do you think you can win this wacky race?

You bet your bonnet, Buster.

Especially after I barricade those blockheads.

Right, Mucky?

What a dirty trick.

Bastardly has blocked the road behind him. Watch out, Professor!

No problem.

I'll just shift to steeplechase horsepower.

While Professor Pat pending colonels along, here comes the bus wagon. I'll

get by quicker than you can say saffron soda.

Blast their blades!

They buzzsawed my barricades. I'll just have to find a better barrier.

You know, I think I found it, Muttley. Get the repair kit.

Meanwhile, the wacky race roars on toward an unmarked intersection.

They seem to be confused.

Oh, now they're really crossed up.

And here comes Dastardly, the double-crossing demon passing everybody.

Oh, that word seems to know the right way.

How come, Dastardly? Very simple.

I have a superb sense of direction.

Of course, it helps to have Mutley here. Go out last night and swipe the racing

tile.

Why, that's a most, uh, a most, uh...

Try despicable.

Despicable trick.

Wrong. Sneaky, maybe.

Now, here's a real despicable trick.

I'll just pave the road behind with my super bounce rubber.

It'll be a real highway.

Here comes the Crimson Hay baler. Hopping through the Arkansas

Chugabug. Yeah, found.

Whoops, the hay baler's out of control.

Look out for Peter Perfect.

Hold them close.

I didn't know the old Chuggabug had so much get up and go.

Pete, are you all right?

Perfect. Did you notice? My car doesn't have a scratch.

Well,

maybe one or two.

I hope I brought my hammer and wrench.

That bouncing road will get them hopping mad.

What flight path pending is the next victim?

So, the old bouncing road bit, eh? I'll counterattack with my super pancake

flipper.

I think Dasturly's about to get his.

Hey, what's going on?

Help! Help!

Ow! We'll take a short break while Dasturly is wrapped up in one of his low

-down tricks.

Don't go away.

Ouch!

The Slag Brothers are slugging their way into the lead. They're beating the

gruesome twosome. They end more ways than one.

Hey, they dented our fender and didn't stop.

That's hit and run.

They've got to go back to stop.

Dragon power will drag them back.

I'd like to talk to you slags about a dented fender.

The cars are approaching the famous jungle territory of the Acme wild animal

world. I'm already here, ready to use a little animal cunning on those

slowpokes.

Dastardly. Now what?

A short announcement.

Attention, Acme Animal World will pay $50,000 for the return of a lost, tame,

harmless gorilla.

$50,000? Did you hear that, Sarge?

Find that poor, lost, tame, harmless gorilla, and the reward is ours.

Not if Red Max zooms in first.

We'll cut in at 50 grand, too.

And it's still one of the wacky rights.

That's what he thinks.

This gorilla suit will stop him all.

There he is.

I'll get him.

Ready with the cage, Mudley?

harmless gorilla.

I see him. Now I got you. Hey, you're no tame harmless gorilla. You're a

wild, untamed bear, aren't you?

Start the engine.

Did you get him, Sarge? Don't ask silly questions. Get going. That's an order.

The Red Max does not give up. I haven't lost my touch.

That was one of my softest landings.

Are you the tame, harmless gorilla?

Backing out on a deal, eh, Max?

The 50 grand is mine.

The tame, harmless gorilla will cut away the brush.

So he can't hide. Hey, Sawtooth.

That bear will stop him.

I don't know why, bear.

Oh, no.

Hit the brakes,

Sawtooth.

I hope he's not hurt.

Are you all right, harmless gorilla? Hey.

It's only Dastardly in a monkey suit.

Double drat. My dirty trick fell apart at the seams.

Come on, Muttley.

There's a race to be won.

The Wacky Racers have suffered lots of damage, but they somehow continue to lip

along to Shin Split, Louisiana.

Even Dastardly's catching up. Yes.

Catching up on my sneaky stunts.

Okay, Muttley.

Now, here's how this loser's reaper works.

Aim it at that wagon over there.

This will wrap the race up in a neat little package.

Now, aim it at the cars.

No, not at me, the cars.

Mutley! Mutley! Turn it off!

Turn it off!

Hey!

Mudley, get me out of here!

Mudley!

Our radar scope shows the rest of the racers in a big jam.

But the Red Max moves ahead.

They're almost to Anchor Lake, Alabama.

Turn cannon and fire a jet blast!

Okay, sir!

The Arkansas Chuggabug has a hole blasted through its boiler.

All this grace will be finished under a cloud. It's anybody's victory, folks,

and here they come.

Penelope Pitstop first, Peter Purvin second, and the creepy coot third.

Well, well, look what the dog dragged in.

Stop that snickering and find me a Boy Scout to untie these knots before I need

a finger retread.