Original subtitles

And now, here they are, the most daredevil group of daffy drivers to ever

whirl their wheels in the wacky races, competing for the title of the world's

wackiest racer. The cars are approaching the starting line. First is the turbo

terrific driven by Peter Perfect.

Next, Rufus Roughcutt and Sawtooth in the buzz wagon.

Maneuvering for position is the army surplus special. Right behind is the

anthill mob in their bulletproof bomb.

And there's Ingenious Inventor, hat-pending in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop, the glamour gal of the gas

pedal. Next we have the Bowler Mobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel.

Lurching along is the Creepy Coop with a gruesome twosome. And right on their

tail is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug with Luke and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those double-dealing do-batters,

Dick Dastardly and his sidekick.

And even now they're up to some dirty trick, and they're off to a standing

start. And why not? They've been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dastardly, who

shifts into the wrong gear.

And away they go on the way out wacky races.

Today's wacky race is a long, tough, grueling grind over rough, tough,

grueling country.

From Lulu, Louisiana, to the finish line at Deep in the Heart of Texas.

And what a wild and wacky race it is.

The Army Surplus Special has taken the lead.

Lay down rubber, Meekly. We're going like a house of fire.

Did you say fire, Sarge?

Okay.

And the surplus special takes a turn for the worse as it goes into reverse.

And despicable Dick Dastardly in Car 00 takes the lead.

Who knows?

We may win this race the hard way without cheating.

Right, Muttley?

Third place is Rugged Rufus Ruckut and his pal Sawtooth. Look out!

The buswagons lost a wheel! But the anthill mob loses two wheels!

Uh, what'll we do, Big Clyde?

Shift into jet skate power!

And the anthill mob skates into second place behind Dick Dastardly in Car 00!

Drat! I'll stop him!

Come on!

I'll open the gate on that corral and stampede the cattle across the road!

Get along, little doggies. Go, go, go.

Hold it, hold it. Not me. Across the road. The road.

Call me when the roundup is over, McD.

Come on, now. We've got to stop that anthill mob.

Hello, Sheriff?

Sheriff, get your jail ready. The anthill mob's on Highway 42.

Yeah, I know.

They just went by.

Hold on there!

It's the sheriff, Clyde. Now what do we do?

We'll lose them in that wood scout's camp up ahead.

I don't lose that easy.

All right, you lugs.

Now make with the wood scout bit. Here comes the sheriff.

Come out, anthill mob, in the name of the law.

We're a wood scout company, as you can plainly see. If you think we're

something else, you're wrong as wrong can be.

Say,

have you young'uns seen anything of a gang of city outlaws?

Yeah, yeah, sheriff. They went that-a-way.

Well, thanks, boys.

I'll round them up.

Double drat! They fooled the sheriff with that phony wood scout routine. But

you and I can play wood scouts, too.

Eh, Muttley?

Meanwhile, back at the Waggy Razors.

Peter Perfect hits an oil slick and his turbo terrific slips past the Arkansas

Chugabug.

Don't you fret, Blubber. I'll throw this old boiler into tiger power.

Passing your seatbelt.

Hold on to your hat, Blubber. We got a tiger by the tail.

And back in the lead springs the Chugabug, followed by Big Gruesome,

who's determined to pass it.

by going into scare the bear power and

scare the bear it does but it works in reverse and the creepy coop drops back

to last place and the wacky race goes on Meanwhile, back at the Wood Scouts.

All right, you guys. Now let's get out of these uniforms and hit the road.

Wait, boss.

There's a Wood Scout leader.

Well, well.

I see my little troop is ready for their lesson.

We're a Wood Scout company, as you can plainly see.

Never mind that. Our lesson for today is starting a fire by rubbing these two,

uh, these...

Two sticks together.

Those two sticks?

Right. Quick, Motley. Quick, behind this tree.

Rub them real good, boys.

I am, but nothing happening.

Don't worry.

It will.

While the anthill mop plays with fire, Red Max hedgehops over the Slag

Brothers.

Whoops. He popped his prop.

Oh. Dear, my poor car.

Won't somebody help little old helpless me?

I'll give it. I'll give it.

Help her.

Oh, how darling. They fixed my little old car.

And little old me thanks you ever so ever.

And while the wacky beat goes on, let's stand by for the second half of this

wacky race.

Anything, Clyde? No, not even a spark.

Oh, for Pete's sake, you're not doing it right.

Give me those sticks, dummies.

Why must I do everything myself?

Smutly.

All right, let's go.

Ring-a-ding's waiting in the car.

Hey, look. That wood scout's heading for those falls.

Come on, you guys.

All right, boss.

Now, here's the caper. We'll lower a human chain to that kid. You got it?

I got it, boss.

Okay, now grab my hands as you come by, kid.

Atta boy.

Gee, thanks, sir.

It's okay, little fella.

Hold it right there!

Sorry, Sheriff, but we have to catch a boat.

Yeah, yeah.

And a wacky race, too.

Ring-a-ding! Start the car!

Gotcha, Clyde.

Hey! Wait for us!

Back at the track, a giant tumbleweed rolls toward the wacky racers. Professor

Pat Penning rises to the occasion.

But... Penelope Pitstop is headed for a rumble with the tumbleweed.

Rufus Roughcut goes to the rescue and shifts into pulverized overdrive.

And verbalizes the tumbleweed to shreds. Oh, thank you ever so ever much, y'all.

It was my pleasure, Miss Penelope.

And now Rufus has the pleasure of being in first place.

Now remember, Muttley.

When I jump onto the end of this teeter board, it will bounce you up into the

air so you can blow the dart gun at the balloon holding that can of blasting

powder. It will fall down on the road and explode, making it impassable.

Rufus Ruffcock is still out in front, but Professor Pat Penning shifts into

triple dribble power and bounces into the lead.

Ready, Muttley? Here they come.

And here we go!

Muttley decides to ensure his lead with his latest invention, pogo power.

But a prairie dog bull stops his pogo-a-gogo and leaves him at the post.

A pogo post, that is.

While lucky number seven, driven by the anthill mop, takes over the lead.

Every jalopy jockey is jockeying for position as they come into the home

stretch. Well, Muttley, this is our chance to sneak past the pack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, ready with our...

Secret weapon?

Fire!

The Wacky Racers are finishing fast. It's going to be close.

They're approaching the finish line. They're neck and neck.

And the winner is... Just a moment, folks.

Our instant play-it-again photo device shows that Rufus Roughcut wins by a

nose. The bouldermobile is second and the converter car third, while Dick

Dastardly is stranded above the road. Direct secret weapon!

And they're off again!

The wacky race goes on and on, each driver determined to win, maneuvering

for a position, looking for the opening that will put him in the lead.

The anthill mob uses getaway power!

Red Max and the Crimson Haybaler makes his move.

The Arkansas Chugabug uses jet power.

And the Creepy Coop pours it on with dragon power.

Oh, it's going to be a great race, folks.

Hey, wait a minute.

Stop!

This race starts next week.

Next week?

That means I'll get a good start on the other.

Drat! Drat! And double drat!