Original subtitles

[alarm rings]

I remember when I used to set an alarm.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Unemployment had humbled my father.

Let me hit the old snoozerooni for you.

There you go.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): The job market was bone dry.

With nothing but free time on his hands,

Dad was determined to make himself

useful around the house.

Gare, what's all this?

Breakfast.

Gare, it's cold cereall day.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Cold cereal day

was one morning a week where my mom wouldn't

have to cook, or clean.

I guess I forgot.

I guess I don't even know what day of the week it is anymore.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Dad helping out was less of a help

than he realized.

And if it persisted, it would probably

lead to plumbing problems.

I'm sorry, can you repeat that?

I said Matthew's screwed us, and he's screwed us so hard.

What?

He has a problem with our new cheerleading outfits.

But they're so cute.

No, no, no, no.

I am not gonna let you go out there looking like strippers.

How are we supposed to do street

dance without street style?

I'll make a deal with you.

You bring back Musky the mascot, and I'll think

about your new little routine.

We have to at least get this thing the patina

of family entertainment.

What about the lucite heels?

No lucite heels!

But you can keep those fishnets.

So now we have to go out there with the stupid mascot.

Where are we gonna find a sucker willing to dress up

like a giant fish?

JUSTIN: Clare!

I think I might have a lead.

Hi.

Hi.

I kind of need to get in there.

It actually looks good on you.

THEME SONG: What's so funny about peace,

love, and understanding?

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): My dad never really

grasped the concept of separating

colors when you do laundry.

Oh, you did the pinks.

Yeah, I was just trying to help.

Is there anything I can do to help?

Light bulbs.

We could sure use some light bulbs bad.

Would you mind running down to Home, House, & Hardware?

Oh triple H?

Done and done.

Thanks, hon. That's a lifesaver.

Mwah.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): And with that,

my dad was out of my mom's hair for the rest of the day.

Medora High School had kind of a love-hate relationship

with the musky mascot.

Sometimes, he was revered.

Musky, musky, Musky!

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): And sometimes less so.

I was actually excited about my new gig.

I've always considered myself an entertainer.

(SINGING): Feel the rain on your skin.

No one else can feel it for you.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Not to mention, there were other

little perks.

Look, here he comes!

The squad seems genuinely delighted to see you.

Now we get to keep our sexy outfits.

Oh my God.

Looks like a tampon commercial.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Just in case you don't know,

tampon commercials are awesome.

Excuse me.

Do you happen to know if they do color matching here?

Oh, sure do.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Meanwhile, on his mission

to get light bulbs, my father was experiencing

his own form of bliss.

I'll show you.

Thanks.

You got a little paint project going on there?

Hope you're gonna prime those walls.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): My dad was in his element, and it showed.

Excuse me.

You're down there, can you help us with the water heater?

Actually, I don't work--

And I have a question about insulation.

We're talking fiberglass or polyurethane?

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): My dad returned home that night,

exhilarated from a hard day's work at a place he didn't work.

Honey, I'm home!

And I got those bulbs you wanted.

MOTHER: Upstairs closet, OK?

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): But nothing could have prepared my father

for what he would see next.

60 watt, 75, 100 watt, fluorescence, incandescents,

floods, halogens, threeways, soft reading,

candelabra, and motion sensor.

Terrarium bulb?

We don't even have a terrarium.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Clearly, mom didn't need light bulbs.

All she really needed was for my father to be out of her way.

The next morning, my dad set his alarm again,

just like the good old days.

He got up early, put on his orange shirt,

and headed off to his pretend job

at triple H, where unfortunately they weren't hiring.

But that didn't stop him.

No one seemed to have noticed that my dad

didn't actually work there.

You're doing a great job, Gary.

Keep up the good work.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): What was that feeling?

Pride, satisfaction?

My dad had never felt those things

before at his old paying job.

Get busy, get busy.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): I, on the other hand,

was having a little trouble.

Get busy, get busy!

Go , Musky!

I do think "get busy" is enough direction for him.

He's supposed to freestyle.

Freestyle!

Not again.

Someone help him up.

Somebody just pull my fin up.

No, no, no.

Ow, ow, ow.

I'm gonna call your supervisor and tell

him what wonderful work you do.

Oh, I can't tell you how unnecessary that is.

So look, gutters are easy to install,

so I don't wanna to hear about anybody overcharging you, OK?

Is there someone on the other end that can

help you unload these things?

I just don't know what I would have done without you.

Today is my lucky day.

You know what?

I'm gonna go ahead and finish up that job for you.

I'm guesstimating it shouldn't take

me more than the afternoon.

Oh, Gary, no.

I couldn't possibly. - Stop it.

I want to.

Please.

Well, it certainly is nice to have a strong, capable

man around the house.

I got some meatloaf leftover from last night.

I'm fixing you a sandwich.

Oh, count me in.

Can you feel the love?

[inaudible]

Is there a fire in the building?

How do you feel, tiger?

Huh?

I'm feeling good.

I feel all right.

That hotness you feel is the Medora High cheerleaders!

Oh, oh, ooh, ooh!

Now, Justin, you have to ask yourself the question,

how would a giant pike move?

How would a giant pike cheer?

How would a giant pike get this pep rally started?

Right, huh?

Huh?

For the Musky!

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): You know that weird feeling you get

right before you puke, how your mouth kind of waters,

and how you quickly try to remind yourself

of the last thing you ate, so you

can mentally prepare yourself for seeing it come up again?

Chicken oriental.

What?

[vomiting]

No, no.

Why in there?

Why in my book bag?

I'm sorry.

It just came up.

There were many other options.

Sing it to me!

(SINGING): We want the fish.

We want the fish.

Can't take it!

There is a bin, empty trash can.

The boys bathroom is right there, huh?

[vomiting]

Again, huh?

Really?

Have I done something?

Are you mad at me for some reason, Justin?

I'm sorry.

I can't.

I can't go out there right now.

You have to do it for me.

No, no, no, no, no.

Justin, Justin, you are just frightened

and quite possibly dehydrated.

But either way, you can do this.

What's going on up here?

It's Musky time!

I can't do it.

Tolchuck, these people waiting for the fish.

If you do not bring the fish out there,

we might have a riot on our hands.

I can't go out there.

You gotta do this.

CHEERLEADERS: (SINGING): We want the fish.

We want the fish.

They will have the fish.

Show some love for the Musky!

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): So Raja gave them the fish.

And he was awesome, wild, uninhibited.

And while Raja was raising the roof,

my dad had just finished working on his.

Well, that ought to do her.

Who are you? - I live here.

Who are you?

My two favorite men.

Gary, I see you met my grandson, Toby.

Oh, he's a good boy, star of his high school basketball team,

huh?

Is that so?

You know, Toby, I used to play a little ball myself.

Oh, what's up?

Star of the basketball team, huh?

Can't stop Scary Gary.

That's right, you can't .

Phew.

Oh yeah.

Here we go.

Hey, hey.

Come on, champ.

Easy does it.

You can't win 'em all, right?

Right, 'cause I'm average.

What?

I'm an average player.

That's what my coach says.

Didn't you notice?

I wasn't really sure if you were average

or I was just really, really above average.

I'll never make starting five because there's never any one

around to help me practice.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Toby was in luck.

My dad had always wanted a son he could teach to play ball.

But sadly, I was born with ultra flat feet.

He'll never play.

Here we go!

Here we go.

Mom, you had to see it.

Raja was unbelievable.

Really?

It was as if the rules of gravity did not apply to him.

It was something about the anonymity of the costume.

It unleashed things within me that have long lay dormant.

So that's good?

I cannot wait to get inside the fish head again.

I may sleep in it tonight, see what kind of dreams I have.

Justin, I think you should give this another try.

Mascots can get varsity jackets and college scholarships,

plus long bus rides with cheerleaders.

Who knows what could happen?

It's just not my thing, Mom.

OK?

Well, I just think this is all being wasted on Raja.

He doesn't even want any of those things.

Just to be clear, the fish is not yours to give away.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Dad wasn't listening to any of this.

All he could think about was what

a great day he had with Toby and Helen,

and Helen's meatloaf, which was--

Much more moist than Franny's.

Pardon?

The meatloaf is much more moist than Franny's usually is.

It is good.

Hey, maybe Justin can regurgitate some tomorrow

before the big game.

[speaking gibberish]

Big game?

Justin's playing in the big game?

No, Dad.

I'm not playing in the game.

No?

No.

He was in the cheering section.

GARY: Was? - Couldn't hack it.

Oh my God.

What if the Musky had a little dance thing worm friend, huh?

You would be so small, nobody would see you.

All I'm saying is, it'd be less pressure for you.

That's how you wanna get me into college, dancing worm?

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Raja was amazing,

and it could have been me.

It should have been me.

I was too scared to do anything.

Maybe my mom was onto something, because at that moment,

I really did feel like a worm.

Once Raja got started, it seemed he couldn't be stopped.

Inside the costume, he felt free, uninhibited, alive.

You suck, Musky!

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): And with that, we saw a side of Raja,

rather Musky, that most of us never knew existed.

What are you gonna do, hug me?

Look, I'm not saying the fight wasn't entertaining,

because the truth is, it was.

But that boy broke his collarbone.

So I guess what I'm asking is, can we split the difference?

At first, it was so liberating, you know?

But then the anonymity, it tapped

into a dark part of my soul, blurring the boundaries

between right and wrong.

That could have been you.

It made me cold blooded, salt inside.

It's a freshwater fish.

My whole entire life, I have never heard anybody.

Yet, tonight lays a boy in the hospital

from the stroke of my fin.

I am so sorry.

I can never set foot in that costume again.

If Raja had a dancing worm friend,

then the dancing worm friend would have been able to keep

him out of trouble.

Mom, I'm not getting a good scholarship.

Can we just drop it, please?

OK, thanks.

Look, if Raja doesn't wanna do it, you're too afraid, fine.

But without the fish, those girls are going

back into their old outfits.

Look, I mean, I'm not afraid.

I used the wrong word.

Very, very fearful.

Mr. Matthews, I will do it.

I do not want Clare to be disappointed.

No.

You don't have to.

I'll do it. - Hold on, Tolchuck.

Raja was speaking.

No, Mr. Matthews, please.

I wanna do this.

I really need to.

OK.

You make sure you show some Musky pride.

Justin!

I am so proud of you.

Just remember who you are, Justin Tolchuck.

For there is evil in that fish.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): The next morning, Mom drove

us to the game at Tilmann.

Jeez, looks like Halloween back there.

How are you feeling, Justin?

I've made a huge mistake.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Apparently someone

else had also made a mistake.

Hey, isn't that Dad?

No we're not paying for this!

They are pulling into the Tilmann High parking lot.

I'm sure there's a logical reason

why your father is in that car with another family.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): But nothing immediately came to mind.

[cheering]

Let's go, Tilmann!

Show those losers from Medora High School!

Gary!

Franny, what are you doing here?

Oh, this is Franny.

What a pleasure.

Oh, it's so nice to meet you.

Who's that woman?

Franny, I can explain.

See, I was pretending to work at the triple H,

and I was getting off a forklift, and I met, uh, Helen.

I'm going over to the Medora side.

I suggest you meet me there.

Just answer me one question, Gary.

Do you love her?

Franny, that's not what this is about.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): And my dad finally

told her about everything he's been going through since losing

his job, about the light bulb errand,

and feeling useless at home, and about how great

it felt when Toby and Helen needed him.

I'm sorry, Gare.

No, I am, baby.

Gary, I hate to interrupt, but they benched Toby,

and he's so upset he won't come out of the locker room.

Do you mind?

Just this one last time?

Go ahead, Gare.

You're sure?

It must be so nice for you and the kids

to have a man like that around the house.

Oh yeah.

Now, listen up, grandma.

You go near my husband again, and I'm gonna take you out.

Go Muskies!

Toby!

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): My dad had gone

searching for his surrogate son with common interests.

The one who loves sports and spending quality time together.

Instead, he found me.

Hey.

Hey.

What are you doing in here?

What's up?

Is this your cheerleading costume?

Mascot costume.

Right, sorry.

Can I ask you something?

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): My father lived in constant fear of us

kids asking him a question he wasn't prepared to answer.

How many times is too many times to masturbate?

Oh, and do they make special bandages for down there?

You know, I--

I gave you that pamphlet.

No, no.

It's not about yanking.

Oh, well, then you can always come to me.

Every time I think about going out there,

in front of that crowd of people, I just get really--

my whole body gets, like, clammy,

and I just feel like I'm gonna make myself look so stupid.

Look, son, it's OK to suck, OK?

But it's not OK to quit, OK?

And if that means making a fool of yourself

in front of thousands and thousands of people, so be it.

There's only, like, 80 people out there.

Yeah, but it's gonna feel like thousands when they're

throwing garbage at you.

Seriously, though, they're counting on you.

That's a nice thing.

Hm?

Yeah, I guess it is.

Why were you in the car with that other family?

Oh, they were just giving me a ride so I could surprise you.

Really?

You wanted to see me?

Well, what, do you think I was coming to see some other kid?

That doesn't really make any sense.

Of course not.

I'd have to be insane!

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Sure, it was a bald-faced lie,

but it was a lie I needed to hear that night.

[buzzing]

It's showtime.

Thank you, Dad.

I needed this.

So did I, son.

So did I.

[dance music playing]

[cheering]

My boy, Justin!

Justin!

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Dad even managed to convince

Toby to get back in the game.

He was getting pretty good at the whole parenting thing,

and I think that made him feel great.

[dance music playing]

But on the off days, when he started feeling down,

he'd just take a drive over to Helen's house

and take a look at one of the things he did right.

Isn't that a thing of beauty?

It sure is, hon.

SONG: Love is the underdog, my man.

THEME SONG: What's so funny about peace,

love, and understanding.

Oh, what's so funny about peace, love, and understanding.

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