Original subtitles

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): There's some days you just

know are going to be great.

[alarm]

The kind of day where you find your cool pants

all washed and ready to go.

Yes.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Where you're having a good hair

day all over your body.

Life was so good you could taste it,

and it tasted like Crunch Berries.

Hey Champ, you want my cereal milk?

Oh, bring it.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): What made today so great?

It was the first meeting of the junior homecoming float

committee, the one place in school where my ideas

and opinions not only weren't mocked and ridiculed

but were actually respected.

It all started last year and completely by accident.

Hey, Tolchuck.

I'm going to pound you!

You're going down.

BULLY: You let him get away.

- Hi, I'm here for the-- - Sophomore float committee?

- Really? - Come on, guys.

Think.

We need a really great idea for this year's float.

Something fresh and original.

How about sophomores rock?

Yeah, but the juniors already took rock.

Damn.

We could do sophomores rule.

No.

That's what the seniors are doing.

Sophomores rip?

We do rip, but not as much as we rock.

This sucks.

All the great ideas are taken.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): I don't know where it came from.

It might have been the boredom or the hunger from the parasite

I wouldn't discover for two more months.

All I know is I somehow managed to come up

with the greatest idea for the sophomore float

in school history.

Oh my god.

That's perfect.

Look what Justin came up with.

ANITA: Soph-s'mores?

Yeah.

That's awesome, man.

The float could be a giant s'more?

We'll spray paint mattresses for the Graham crackers.

Yeah.

And we can throw marshmallows at the crowd from it.

Way to go, Justin.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): For the first time in my life,

I knew what it felt like to be a star, and it felt good.

As it turned out, I wasn't the only one in the family

looking forward to homecoming.

Good morning, Mrs. Tolchuck.

Oh, it sure is, Raja.

You must be super razzed, huh, Justin?

First committee meeting for the junior float.

Really?

Is that today?

It totally slipped my mind.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): My brilliantly creative genius

mind.

And Claire, homecoming princess and as a sophomore.

Uh, I think you mean soph-s'more.

And I'm out.

Claire, we're going to take you shopping later

and get you a real snazzy dress.

I can do the dress shopping myself.

Don't be ridiculous.

We'll go together.

I was homecoming princess, too, you know.

And your dad was on court.

It was such a magical night.

[vomiting] - Yeah.

That's a good one.

All right.

Look, not to be a jerk, but we got this limo on an hourly rate

so--

[vomiting]

Any who, I know just the kind of dress we're going to get ya.

Mom, that was like 20 years ago.

Styles have changed.

What?

It was not 20 years ago.

I'm not that old.

It was-- what, 1983, '84.

Oh my god.

Great.

I'm going dressed as a cave girl.

23 years.

Where did it all go?

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): I decided to bring Raja

to the float committee meeting.

I thought it would be good him to see

a place where I was respected.

Well guys, any ideas for the junior float?

Why even bother?

I mean, it's obvious Tolchuck is just going to nail

it again like he did last year.

Justin, do you have s'more big ideas for this year?

[laughter]

Well, no-- I--

I mean, I have been kicking around a few notions.

And I don't know, maybe I'll have something

that you guys might like.

Junior Mints.

Yeah.

Yes.

That's hilarious. I love it.

Totally awesome, man.

- You're a genius, Justin. - Damn it.

You did it again.

The float could be a giant box of candy.

Yeah.

We could throw mints at the crowd from it.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

And see here?

This is where the actual-- where the car is actually--

May I please ask a question?

Oh, yeah.

Sure.

Go ahead, Raja.

This is all very wonderful, but what does it mean?

What does it mean?

Well, we're juniors, so Junior Mints.

It's a candy.

Oh, yes.

I am familiar with the tiny chocolaty disks.

And whilst they are indeed delectably delicious,

I do not understand the connection.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): I shouldn't have been angry at him.

He wasn't purposely sabotaging my idea,

but he couldn't have done a better job if he was.

Yeah.

You know, I wasn't going to say anything

but I don't get it either.

Yeah.

I thought I did, but maybe I don't.

No, look.

You guys are just over-thinking it.

It's not--

No.

No, Raja has got a point.

It doesn't say anything about the junior class.

You know, the fact that it rocks.

To me, this is just an opportunity

to perhaps do something meaningful

and bring people together.

But-- but that's not what--

Did you have something in mind, Raja?

No.

But what makes me proud to be at this school

is that we are all people from different backgrounds,

different places, and yet we are still

able to come together to talk and share ideas in unity.

Unity?

That's-- that's great.

[excited chatter]

I love it.

We could do a giant globe.

And we could have paper mache figures

from different countries standing

around and holding hands.

Guys, I have more stuff.

What should we throw from it?

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): How about Raja?

[THEME - PJ OLSSON & SALMAN ALMAD,

"(WHAT'S SO FUNNY 'BOUT) PEACE, LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING"]

THEME SONG: What's so funny about peace,

love, and understanding?

Do me a favor.

Try these dresses on.

I'm not trying to sell them to you.

I just want to see them worn how they're supposed to be worn.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): My mom didn't usually

fall for this kind of stuff, but what happened in the kitchen

that morning had thrown her for a bit of a loop.

Thank you so much, but I'm actually here with my daughter.

I don't believe it.

When did you have her?

What are you, like minus two?

So what do you think?

Oh my god.

Hold these a sec.

I love it.

I love it.

Here, turn for me.

Oh, a little tiny, don't you think?

For you, yeah. But for her, wow.

You know, I mean, she's young.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Things only got worse for Mom

when she noticed the stuff the clerk had

actually picked out from her.

Old, old, old.

[school bell]

I think we're on the right track, OK?

As for the unity thing, I am struggling somewhat.

Just look at him.

That should be me over there basking in their adulation.

I had a slam dunk with that mints idea.

And then he comes at me with, what does it mean?

What does it mean?

What are you talking about?

It's obvious.

Well, is it?

I mean, I get the junior part.

But what are you trying to say?

That we're minty?

I don't see it. - Well, yeah.

Sure.

If you try hard enough, you can pick anything apart.

Dude, get over it.

Who cares?

It's a float.

It goes by and they throw candy at you.

Not this year.

Well, to be honest with you, I didn't get

the soph-s'mores thing either.

Yeah. That bothered me, too.

Yeah.

You guys are bad friends.

Don't be like that.

Unity, dude.

ANITA: Justin, come help us.

Yes, Justin.

Please do.

Your drafting skills are far superior to mine.

The unity float will certainly benefit from your expertise.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): This was it.

My chance for revenge on the person who

had ruined everything for me.

I tried to fight it, but there was no way I could pass it up.

Oops.

Sorry.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): It wasn't much, but it was something.

That night, Mom went looking for Claire.

Claire, honey?

You home?

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Well, not exactly Claire.

She liked what she saw.

Hmm.

Wow.

Not too shabby.

Hey hun, have you seen the plunger?

I was-- hey, looking good.

Really?

I can still pull it off?

Are you kidding?

You look fantastic.

I have half a mind to put you out on the street.

I'll have you know I'm appointment only,

but I guess I could squeeze you in.

Wait. Oh no, Gary.

Not in the dress.

Leave it on.

Okey-doke.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Gar.

Now I had no idea there were this many countries.

I mean, I thought there was America and like 10 others.

Which one are you from, Raja?

I am from Pakistan.

Right here.

Oh, man.

I thought that was Canada.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): This wasn't Rob's fault.

Our World Geography teacher had his jaw

wired after a jet ski accident.

[mumbling]

The one head needs more yellow.

It's just not popping.

But you still have the yellow on the Asian head.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Intentional or not,

Raja had stolen everything that mattered most to me,

and I was determined to take it back.

I knew I couldn't beat him with a better idea,

so I came up with a cheaper one.

Teen sex.

What?

See, got your attention, didn't it?

It's a grabber.

What are you talking about?

Well, I've been thinking a lot about the theme for the float,

OK?

And sure, we could go with something nice and safe

like unity, or we could do something important

that people are talking about--

teen sex.

I do not understand what it is exactly you are trying to say.

Look, you got to wake up to reality, man.

Teen sex is happening everywhere.

OK?

But we can't talk about it in the classrooms

or in the churches, so we've got to take the dialogue

to the streets in our floats.

It would get a lot of attention.

Perhaps this is true, but I still think that unity

is the stronger idea.

Well, that's just because you're afraid to take a stand,

but I am not. Are you?

- Well, no. - Are you?

No.

Nicole?

Unprotected sex is a huge problem at school.

The float could be two kids lying on a bed making out.

Yeah.

And we could throw condoms at the crowd from it.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

[excited chatter]

And we could have different colors.

Yes.

That's what I'm talking about.

So what do you say we stand together

against this unity idea and do something really important.

Let's do it.

I can't believe it.

He did it again.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Things were back on track.

I was once again God in the eyes the float committee.

The only downside was that it was at Raja's expense.

Hi.

Hello.

You know, I'm--

I'm pretty full.

You can have my milk if you want it.

Justin, why do you not take your sugary milk

and pour it in your ass?

- What? - I am sorry.

That was inappropriate.

But I am so disappointed in you.

You purposely ruined the unity theme for the float.

What are you talking about? That's ridiculous.

I just came up with something better.

Something you knew that my religious beliefs would

forbid me from taking part in.

You're-- you're giving me way too much credit here, man.

I really don't know much about your religion.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): In my defense,

Mr. Jenkins also taught World Religion.

[mumbling]

Justin, we both know that unity is a superior idea.

And is that not what is most important?

To have the best float irrespective

of where the idea came from.

Maybe in your backwards country but not here in America

so--

hey.

What are you doing with that?

Put that down.

Put it down.

Don't you do-- don't you do that.

Don't you do that.

That is messed.

Yes, it is.

And I will clean it up now-- but out of respect to your family,

not you, Justin Tolchuck.

Look, Raja.

I'm not the bad guy here, OK?

That float committee thing meant a lot to me,

and you came in and took it away,

and I just returned the favor.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): I was furious,

but I wasn't sure if it was at Raja or at the fact

that he may have had a point.

But however mixed my feelings were,

they were nothing compared to the confusion

my dad was about to experience.

Oh, come on, ladies.

It's an Octagon not the country bake off.

You can't tap out the minute your ears start bleeding.

Nice.

That's what I want to see.

Do you like my dress, Daddy?

It's for the homecoming dance.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Later that night,

my mom and dad had a calm, rational discussion

about Claire's dress.

She looks like a whore.

There is no way that my Claire is going to homecoming

dance in that dress.

- I think you're overreacting. - Overreacting?

It's practically showing her--

I mean, it's barely covering her--

Breasts?

Don't you talk that way about my little girl.

Gary, she's not a little girl anymore.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): My mother came to that realization

over last summer.

CLAIRE: Mommy?

Yes, sweetie?

I'm going to go outside and play in the sprinklers

and then wait for the ice cream truck.

OK.

And you better get used to them, because they're

not going anywhere. - Fine.

She can have the breasts, but she cannot have the dress.

Oh, come on, Gar.

Have you noticed the things she's been

wearing to school these days?

This morning she wore a belly top and low-rider jeans.

I thought she was in a play or something.

Come here.

Hun, I know this is hard, but we just have to accept

the fact that time is passing.

There's nothing we can do about it.

Claire's growing up.

I guess you're right.

Yeah, so the dress?

In the garbage.

OK.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Back at school,

I was doing my best not to think of Raja.

He may not have understood how much I needed this,

but it wasn't my fault. I felt bad about crushing him,

but I had no choice.

Score.

Check this crap out.

"Unity heads of the many lands?"

Caucasian?

What the hell's a Caucasian?

I don't know, but they should go

back to where they came from.

Look at me, I'm Caucasian.

Me, too.

I'm lazy and stupid.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): The Palladino

brothers didn't help things.

Caucasia.

Caucasia.

I smell funny, and I came to steal your job.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): OK, maybe Raja

really did have a point about the importance

of international brotherhood.

But on the other hand, if the Palladino's parents had learned

about responsible sex, these jackasses

might never have been born.

Guys, guys, guys.

The sex banner has to be lowered.

Lowered more because it hits the message harder that way.

See?

You know, he's right.

Yeah. Totally.

The guy is a freaking genius.

What in the hell is going on here?

Huh?

Teen sex?

Are you kids on crack?

You are not putting a sex float in my homecoming parade.

But Mr. Matthews, you don't understand.

Don't you Mr. Matthews me, young lady.

This is a school sanctioned event.

You are not going to have two kids bumping uglies on a float.

- Nobody said that-- - No.

No.

There will be no girl on guy action.

There will be no two girls and a guy action.

There will be no two guys and a girl action.

There will be no action at all.

No. No, no, no.

We weren't trying to do that.

We were just trying to make a--

You are going to have the same pointless

float that you have every year.

I don't care whether it rips, it rules, or it rocks.

It doesn't go humpety-humpety.

Mr. Matthews?

What is it, Raja?

I just wish to say that I, too, shared your concerns.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Here it was--

Raja's revenge.

But then I came to the understanding

that the intent of this float was not

to sensationalize teenage sex, but rather to inform

and educate so that young people can make responsible choices.

Because Mr. Matthews, they face so many dangers--

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): I couldn't believe it.

After everything I did to screw him over,

here Raja was fighting for an idea he didn't believe in

and was pretty sure I didn't either--

just because he knew what it meant to me.

Let us not forget vaginal warts

and searing herpetic lesions.

So I ask you, can you live with that?

You make a very graphic point there, Raja.

Thank you.

- But the answer is no. - Oh.

- That's so unfair. - That's too bad.

Your little orgy float is canceled and that's that.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Another thing being canceled

that day was Claire's dress.

[screaming]

Although she took it surprisingly well.

I'm not a child!

I'm a grown woman!

[screaming]

Hang on, honey.

Just let go of the dress.

OK.

We'll just return it and get you another one.

From Valentina's?

- Hun? - Barrington's.

- CC's. - CC's Rack.

Deal.

We are royally screwed.

Yeah.

Who was I kidding?

We don't rock at all.

Well, we still have time to do Junior Mints, don't we?

That was a pretty good idea.

Yeah.

I always liked it. - I say we do it.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): And there it was.

Out of nowhere, my chance to be back on top.

But I couldn't do it.

You know what, guys?

Raja was right.

The whole Junior Mints idea doesn't really mean anything

but his unity idea did.

ANITA: But most of the heads are pretty damaged.

I think some raccoons got at them.

Perhaps in the spirit of unity,

we could combine all our ideas for the float.

- All the ideas? - Uh-huh.

That way everyone will have contributed.

That could work.

Yeah.

We can do Junior Mints and unity.

And juniors rock.

Yes, quite definitely juniors rock.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): At home, just like at school,

everyone got their way.

Claire got to wear a dress that cost just as much as Dad's car.

10:00 PM, princess.

Dad?

Not a negotiation.

10 o'clock.

That's so unfair.

Gar--

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): And Dad got what he wanted, too.

You make a compelling argument.

I don't want to see you one minute before midnight.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): And that's the story

of how the lamest float in Medora High School history

came to be.

[applause]

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

That's my daughter.

JUSTIN (VOICEOVER): Nobody had a clue what

the float was supposed to mean.

Except maybe for me and Raja.

And to be perfectly honest, I'm not

even sure about the two of us.

[THEME - PJ OLSSON & SALMAN ALMAD,

"(WHAT'S SO FUNNY 'BOUT) PEACE, LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING"]

THEME SONG: What's so funny about peace,

love, and understanding?

Whoa, what's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0