Original subtitles

[dramatic music plays]

[Sam] Only in New Zealand, could Mother Nature create

it's very own. Slip 'N Slide.

[both] Mm.

[Sam] Welcome to Rere Falls, Graham.

First one down wins.

Okay, fine.

♪ ♪

[Graham] Fuckin' thing's stuck.

I'm stuck!

[Sam laughs]

Yes, loser!

Oh!

♪ ♪

[Graham] Oh, God.

[Graham grunts and gargles] Oh, shit!

[grunting and gargling]

[energetic folky music plays]

♪ ♪

Is it illegal to drive naked?

[Graham] Well, you're about to find out.

You haven't got anything on on the bottom half.

[Sam] Well, that's true.

I'm having to look at you

completely naked from the waist down.

[Sam] It's more comfortable. Come on.

It's how I like to drive by caravan.

[Graham] That one was so brilliant.

[Sam] This is it, right?

We're coming towards the end of our... our journey.

[Graham] The last leg, which is ironic

because I am on my last legs.

[Sam] Oh, good one!

But you- you know, there is so much to see here.

It's gonna be impossible to decide

how we close this trip out.

There's the Hobbiton Movie Set,

Ninety Mile Beach,

the Sky Tower in Auckland--

watch out.

Glowworm Caves in Waitomo,

the southern lights,

volcanoes.

[Graham] It's all true, all true,

but there's plenty we can do.

[Sam] Ah! I-I still can't believe it's almost over,

but you're right.

Let's soak up as much as we can

while we're still on this trip together.

Yes.

[soft percussive music plays]

We're going to Hell's Gate now...

Yes.

[Graham] ...to do something hellish,

but I feel that I'm constantly

got one foot in Hell's Gate whenever I'm...

-[Sam] Yeah. -...with you.

But I josh with you, mate.

It's this amazing mud bath where Kiwis, the- the people,

not the small, flightless birds,

have been going for generations

to get invigorated by the sulfuric healing powers

of the geothermic activity.

So where is Hell's Gate?

Hell's Gate, it's at the center of the Earth.

It's where bad people go.

No, no, no, I'm- I'm talking about

the actual location of where we're going.

[Sam] We are going to Rotorua, which is the home

to one of the world's most active geothermal fields.

Correct. Well done. That's where we're going.

To experience Hell's Gate.

[Sam] Hell's Gate.

Which is ironic, because it is very calming.

[Sam] Oh, peaceful hell.

[Graham] You think of it like a spa,

just a very-very smelly spa.

These sulfuric healing waters and mud baths

which have been used by the Maori for over 800 years.

[Sam] Then why is it called Hell's Gate?

[ominous music plays]

♪ ♪

[Graham] Well, there's the uh, bubbling, hot pits

that can melt your flesh down to the bone.

[Sam] Ah.

♪ ♪

[Graham] Paul, what a pleasure to meet you.

Yeah.

Paul, we're here at Hell's Gate.

We are.

[Sam] Why is it called Hell's Gate?

So Hell's Gate, a friend of yours,

Sir George Bernard Shaw.

[Graham] Ah, you must mean the famous Irish playwright.

[Paul] Yeah, he was here in the early 1900s,

and he befriended the Maori people,

and they did not have a English name for Hell's Gate.

And Sir George Bernard Shaw said

he didn't believe in Hell, but if there was a Hell,

this would be the gates to them.

[Graham] I mean, you can believe it as well.

-Look at it. -[Sam] Yeah.

[Graham] It's pretty forbidding.

[Paul] Right on the hill behind us,

the Maori people, they were living there,

so you imagine coming from Hawaiki

wearing only slightly more than what you've got on today...

[Sam laughs] We fit in.

[Graham laughs] That's well-put. Yes.

And so they arrived here freezing cold.

This was like the oasis.

You could cook.

You could bathe in these ngawha,

you could heal your wounds

with these healthy waiora waters...

[intriguing music plays]

They were called waiora

because that means healthy waters,

so we've got sulfur, ammonium,

very similar to the initial antibiotics.

So what we used to do is our warriors,

when they went to battle and they were wounded,

they knew they should urinate on their wounds

because the ammonium in their urine

would help heal their wound.

[Sam] Yeah.

[Paul] So when they'd bathe in these waters,

especially on our hot waterfall,

they noticed their wounds were healing extremely fast.

Really?

[Paul] So they thought this must be... [speaks Maori]

The urine of Kaki, our famous warrior.

[laughter]

He had the most powerful urine.

-He had the best urine? -[Paul] Yeah.

♪ ♪

You've got a little boo-boo, haven't you?

You might want to urinate on that.

[Paul] Yeah, well, I'm a descendant of Kaki,

so I could help you out there.

-[Graham] Are you really? -Yeah.

How-how are you- how are you a descendant?

Well, I'm not, I just wanted to piss on your hand.

[Sam chuckles]

-Yeah. -[Sam] And what about now?

You're-you're keeping this as a conservation area?

Or is it--

So yeah, we see ourselves now as kaitiaki,

which means guardian.

We really take pride in looking after this land

and making sure that we're making decisions

that are always gonna create a taonga,

or a treasure, for eternity.

Oh, well, hopefully this does,

it stays as a national treasure.

Should we go see some more?

Let's have a look around

and throw you in some mud a little later.

[both] Wow.

♪ ♪

[Sam coughs]

It's getting stronger up here, isn't it?

-The sulfur. -[Graham] Wow.

♪ ♪

So now, we've reached the hottest pool in the park.

-[Sam] How hot? -This is the pool

you really don't want to fall in.

It's 122 degrees on the surface,

144 degrees a meter down.

[Sam] That is exactly 291 degrees Fahrenheit.

[Paul] Yeah.

It's what we call here- it's the flesh-eating pool.

-Good God. -Flesh-eating pool.

Yeah, mate. If you, uh...

if you got in there, there would be not much left of you

other than a skeleton.

That's the main heat source, right where those bubbles are.

[water bubbling]

[Sam] Yeah, you can feel the heat

coming on the side of your face.

You really can.

Yes, very good,

but perhaps we could now move on

from the flesh-melting pits

to something a little more relaxing.

[Sam] So we're now finally at the pool.

We've been looking forward to this.

It's time to rejuvenate those bodies,

get that skin looking 20 years younger again.

-Could it help hair loss? -[Paul] Well...

I used to be bald as well.

-And um... -[laughter]

-...worked really hard. -That's fantastic.

-So we just get in there and-- -Yeah.

So get on in, pick that mud up,

massage it over the skin, and enjoy.

So we just, like, massage it into our bodies?

Massage it into each other.

No.

[American accent] Things are about to get real weird.

[upbeat music plays]

[Paul] Go on, then.

Should we go?

This is, uh, gonna be fun.

♪ ♪

[Graham] Just rub it on yourself a bit there.

Don't forget to get your underarms.

You can feel it doing good.

Yeah, I feel I'm getting younger.

Yeah, you'll be like a small child by the time you get out.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

[Graham screams]

[steam hissing]

[dramatic music plays]

♪ ♪

Farewell, smelly, smelly Hell's Gate.

[Graham] I've been very impressed by your driving,

-by the way. -[Sam] Thank you.

-Yes. -[Graham] You know, I have.

-Wow. -[Graham] I really have.

It helps that the roads are very, very quiet.

Yeah.

Do you think they've been told in advance that you're coming?

[Sam] There doesn't seem to be anyone here.

[Graham] No. Probably--

They declared it a national holiday.

Yes, or a national emergency.

[Sam laughs]

[upbeat folky music plays]

Okay, our next stop is one of the first things I saw

when I started researching this trip.

I totally don't get it, but I cannot wait to do it.

So we're Zorbing.

As far as I know, uh, you sit in an enormous bubble,

and you bounce down a hill.

Is there a mental challenge?

They are not being asked questions at the same time?

-There's no thinking, no. -Oh, that's good.

I'll be quite good at it, then.

Yeah, anything that involves

complete frontal lobe deterioration

where you have no concept of risk, you're great.

I feel like that's a sort of...

-[Graham] Insult? -Backhand...

un-underhanded insult there.

Yes, it wasn't a backhanded compliment, no.

It was just an insult.

I mean, who had this idea?

Obviously somebody who was-- whoa!

[chuckling] Hey!

Somebody who was, uh... drunk.

♪ ♪

Okay, hello.

-I'm Graham. -I'm Dave.

-The home of the Zorb. -This is the place.

-[Sam] Yes. -This is the headquarters.

This is the headquarters, the mothership.

So, um, one- one first question is why is it called Zorb?

Uh, we started with the word orb

-for a basic spherical object. -Sure.

And we add the Z in for New Zealand and that's all.

-[Graham] Oh! -That's pretty much it.

And Zorbing was created here?

Yes, this is where we first pioneered it.

So this is sort of a Zorb pre-pre-birth.

Yeah, this is- we got a half one here,

and we've got another half of it here,

and we've gotta put these two bits together

and tie up all the strings.

Uh, so we start off with the plastic on rolls

and end up with a-

hopefully, a beautiful Zorb at the end of it.

So you basically- you fill the Zorb with liquid so it's--

Yes, usually--

Well, not fill it, 'cause you'd be drowning.

We do a lot of water rides,

a lot of water stuff where there's water inside,

and that's the most fun of all.

Someone went down in beer one time.

-Yes, I was gonna ask that. -They had that much beer

-in the bottom of the Zorb. -[Sam] Beer?

-That's interesting. -Yeah, and it really stings

your eyes, apparently, when it hits.

Yeah, probably not a good idea.

So we'll stick to water, I think.

Yeah.

And do you lubricate yourself or is--

-You don't need to. -Oh.

-It's optional. -Oh, really? Okay.

[David chuckles]

I just don't really know where this conversation's going.

It's kind of odd.

No, I just wondered if it's- there's a safety feature.

[dramatic music plays]

♪ ♪

It's uh, pretty high up here.

Yeah, I'm- I'm actually trying not to look to the left.

Ah, this man's got a big smile on his face.

Yeah, it's always that-

it's like the grin- the grin of the hangman.

-Hey, guys. How you doing? -Hi, hi, hi, hi.

-[person] How we doing today? -Yeah, he's crazy.

-Come with me. -[Sam] All right.

[person] You're rolling down the hill in a ball.

[Sam] Cool. I- I'll take this ball, then.

Looks like you can get some speed in these.

How fast can you go?

Well, you can get up to about 30 k's an hour.

-30? -Yeah.

-30 k an hour. -Maybe.

Good God. So hold on. That's nearly 20 miles an hour.

Do we need to lube up or anything?

Why are you obsessed with lubing up?

Nobody... did he mention lube?

Um, yeah, I'm not gonna lube you up.

No? Okay.

[Pete] What we're gonna do is gonna get you guys to dive in.

Okay, cool. Let's do it.

So to get in, you literally take a running dive, okay?

Like-like Superman.

When you're ready.

[grand orchestral music plays]

Ah, ah, ah!

[Zorb squeaking]

♪ ♪

It's, uh- it's really nice.

-Is it? -[Sam] Yeah.

All right. In you go.

Right. Yeah!

[quirky upbeat music playing]

♪ ♪

[zipper zips]

Five, four, three, two, one.

[energetic rock music plays]

♪ ♪

[cheering]

♪ ♪

Here we go!

♪ ♪

[indistinct]

♪ ♪

[Sam shouting]

[laughter]

♪ ♪

-Oh, yes! -[Graham] Nice job!

All hail the Zorb god!

♪ ♪

Whew. Elegant.

How are you, buddy?

Fantastic, Sam. Well done.

Well done. I'm so glad we did that together.

-I feel like-- -Well, actually not together.

I'm really glad we didn't do it together.

I'm just glad that we--

I would do it with you, actually.

-It'd be quite-quite-- -That'll never happen.

-Oh. -Literally never.

Oh.

Put that to one side in the never column.

Never-never gonna Zorb with me ever?

-Never. -Okay.

So much in that column, actually.

Mm.

It's getting longer and longer.

-[Sam chuckling] -Never, never, never.

Oh, your ball's blowing away.

Should we go get dry?

It looks like it's trying to creep up on you, doesn't it?

Yeah, let's go before your nipples get too--

-Yeah, where do we go? -Down that way.

-That way? -This way.

See you, Zorb.

[soft dramatic music plays]

Look, I know we're trying to squeeze so much more in,

but it's worth taking a second to remember

all of the incredible wildlife we have seen.

[Graham] Everywhere you go, there's wildlife.

I mean, they don't have lions and tigers...

-which you may have noticed. -They don't need them.

They've got much more interesting things.

I'm so glad we were able to se as much as we did.

It's such a unique environment.

[Graham] Oh, he's just right there.

Oh, my God. -[person] Oh, there he is.

And it eats fingers.

-[babbles] -[chomps]

-[Sam] Oh, my God. -[Graham] Jesus.

-[Sam] Holy shit. -[kiwi hisses]

[person] When I say it's a nasty kick,

one of the rangers, she turned and she ruptured his spleen.

-Good God. -What?

-[porpoise squeals] -[Sam] Look at them!

-They're so close. -[Graham] Oh, look!

There's more of them! Oh, my God!

[person] That's so beautiful.

-So my voice went very high. -[person laughter]

[Graham] Oh, I'm totally used to this sort of thing.

♪ ♪

[penguins trilling]

-Where, where, where? -Yes, yes, yes.

[penguins trilling]

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

[Graham] Yes!

Penguin in the hole.

♪ ♪

-This is Fran. -[Graham] Hi, Fran.

Wow, look at you.

Beautiful. But she's got kind of--

oh, no.

Whoa. [chuckles]

All right. It's all right, it's all right.

-[Sam chuckles] -Oh, sorry, girl.

Sorry, Fran.

Not the most graceful transition.

-[falconer] So-- -[Graham] Just to make--oh.

Oh, and...

Sorry for losing your bird.

♪ ♪

I-I definitely feel lucky

to have explored the Kiwi animal kingdom,

although I do wish I could take

just one of those little penguins home.

[Graham] I'll miss them too, but our next stop

will take our minds off it.

There's no way I'm letting you go home

without me showing you

one of my favorite places in the world:

Weta.

It is one of the premier special effects

and props workshops in the world.

Richard Taylor, who started it with his wife, Tania...

[Sam] Mm-hmm.

[Graham] He started this in his own garage

uh, years and years and years and years ago.

-[Sam] Wow. -[Graham] Him and Peter Jackson

became friends, and, of course,

Peter Jackson directed Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit,

King Kong, so many others.

They were like two people who were just destined

to meet and work together.

And now, they get called by the best in the business

to create characters and visual effects

like Thanos in The Avengers,

The Batman, Doctor Strange.

Basically if you have a massive franchise,

you call Weta to bring it to life.

-And Weta worked on The Hobbit. -Yes.

They created your special nose. Is that right?

[chuckles]

They- they created a lot of things, actually.

So essentially, we could go in there

and come out looking completely different?

Yeah. Oh, they could do amazing things.

I mean, you know very well what makeup artists can do

from your time on Outlander.

[energetic fiddle music plays]

♪ ♪

[Sam] Oh, only too well.

I mean-I mean, they even gave you hair.

All right.

♪ ♪

What would you come out as?

-I don't know. -Ah.

What would you come out as?

I'd change my nose. I'd make it slightly bigger.

-Oh. -I'd have a--

You have got an annoyingly small nose.

-Stubble, maybe-- -[Graham] A stubble?

I think maybe more of a beard.

Oh, actually give you a beard?

-[Sam] Yeah. -That'd be cool.

I'd be, like older. Like, much, much older.