Original subtitles

Today, we're doing some student council PR!

PR? What are we doing?

I made some new posters. We're replacing the old ones.

Huh?

Looks like Otori, the guy in charge, isn't here.

He's in charge of PR, right?

Yeah. He just texted me. He only just woke up.

What a bum.

Oh, he replied.

(Look at this fried egg) He's even worse.

Why is he taking his sweet time having breakfast?

(Even the Student Council Has Its Holes!)

(Episode 2: Tan the Messiah)

(The Swimming Club) Alright, let's put these up.

(Tea Ceremony Club) We need to take down the old posters first.

Got it.

Huh?

Uh... You mean this old one?

Yeah...

(The Student Council Has Me Too! Tan Otori)

His ego is seriously overflowing.

I left it all to him last time.

But people actually liked it.

Sorry, I'm late!

What's this? Admiring my poster?

The idiot's here.

(The Student Council Has Me Too!) Come on, it's amazing, isn't it?

You can almost see it, but not quite! That's what makes it sexy!

Wanna play "Guess the Nipple"?

(Poke) Me?!

This is your punishment for being late.

So loud...

(Working)

Tan, don't be so rough.

You'll damage the wall.

Tch.

Oh?

So walls get the gentle treatment, huh?

What do you mean?

Well...

You're pretty flat yourself, aren't you?

Flat...

Let's move on to the next board.

(Notice Board Done)

Ah, finally done.

That's taken care of.

By the way,

Ume,

which do you prefer, "with" or "without"?

Huh?

Without, I guess...

Oh! What a coincidence!

What, are you two talking philosophy now?

(After School)

Sorry for making you help out.

Not at all. You sure you can handle all that?

Hey, I'm the president! This is nothing!

That's reassuring.

Mizunoe, I've got one more favor to ask.

So you prefer "with" after all?

What?! No, that's not what I meant!

Oh, look at you two hard at work!

Ms. Hiratsuka!

(Thud) Good work! These are for Class 3.

What are you piling on me?!

Reports.

Guess I have no choice.

So you prefer "with" after all!

I said that's not it!

(Dejected) I knew it. You're definitely a "with" guy.

Should I get breast implants?

No, no, no.

Why do you care so much about me anyway?

I'm just your junior.

Oh, my!

(Smile) Because you're cute, I suppose.

(Flustered)

Well, I was only half joking.

Only half?!

Honestly, it's because you're my first real junior.

(Today's Pattern)

For some reason, younger students have always been scared of me.

And Tan is... well, Tan.

So I hope you and I can stay close, Ume.

O-oh... I see.

But...

if you get too carried away,

(Poke) You'll be in trouble, okay?

R-right...

Oh! Look at the time.

I should get going. See you tomorrow.

See you.

She really is scary...

Whew!

That was a great chat!

I showed some authority while still coming off as a fun, approachable senior!

No matter how I look at it, that was a thousand out of ten!

Arisu! Dinner's ready!

The lobster bisque and sole meunière are getting cold!

(Destroyed!) No...

(Destroyed!) Zero points.

Got a crush on someone?

N-No, I don't!

(Student Council Room)

- Good work! - Good work!

We're done! We're done!

Yeah, good work.

Huh? President, you're staying late?

Yeah. I have to finish the Swimming Club's training camp brochure today.

They asked me yesterday.

Well, it should only take about an hour. You guys can head home.

You even stocked up on fresh coffee.

And you're only staying another hour?

(Leans in...) Are you sure?

(Leans in...) Well, you see...

I'll have it done by the time school starts tomorrow.

That's basically all night!

Why'd you take on so much work?

They were really struggling. I couldn't just ignore them...

Come on, you're taking it all on yourself again.

You're always taking on everyone else's work.

I guess that's just like you, President.

But you didn't have to hide it from us.

W-Well...

If I'd told you, you would've felt bad about going home.

You're too nice...

(Bang) Oh, then I'm heading home!

See ya!

What a scumbag.

(Everyone Minus One Pitches In)

What?! Thirty full-color pages?!

Why'd they make it so elaborate?

Well, you see...

Apparently they got a new computer and got a little carried away.

Then why don't they use it and do it themselves?

Well...

They forgot to plug it in, so they thought it was broken.

(Splash!) Then they actually broke it.

That's way beyond being bad with computers!

(Graphics, Content, Editing) All right, let's get to work!

(Graphics, Content, Editing) Yeah!

For the opening...

do people usually just write "Introduction"?

Hmm, it'd be faster to look it up.

(Does your first time really hurt? When was your first time?)

Oh, the signal's terrible.

Huh? That's weird.

I can't come up with an opening at all.

Um... about getting started...

(First Time, Flinch) Um... about getting started...

Ah! No, not that kind of "first time"!

(Bang)

(Bang) President!

Whoa, it's getting pretty late.

(The Student Council Has Me Too! Tan Otori) Terui, how's it coming along?

(Bringing You Dreams and Love) You haven't made any progress!

Oh, Ume...

Your eyes are totally dead!

I don't know why, but looking at these pictures is making me feel...

Oh.

Too much exposure to huge boobs

has cut her productivity down to ten percent.

(How to Delete) The President's gone, and Terui's barely alive.

That basically leaves me as our only fighting force.

And on top of that, I barely know this software!

I only know how to use Word!

Am I seriously gonna be here all night?

Somebody! Anybody!

(Wink) Did someone call me?

You little creep!

I thought you went home!

I just remembered something I wanted to do.

I'll help out. What are you working on?

Uh, the table of contents...

There. Take a look.

(Too Shocked And Frustrated To Speak)

Huh? What's with that creepy look?

(30 Minutes Later)

W-We actually finished!

Heh. Piece of cake.

(Pat Pat Pat) I hate to admit it, but you really saved us.

(Pat Pat Pat) Don't mention it.

Of course I'd come running if a friend was in trouble.

You...

Now worship me and sing my prases!

It's "praises"!

(For Sale)

"For sale"?

What's this supposed to be?

Oh, that?

I just thought of it!

Why not sell swimsuit photos of the Swimming Club girls on my fan site?

What?

Hey, I'd blur their faces, of course!

I'm very privacy-conscious!

The Swimming Club gets their brochure,

my fans get to see high school girls in swimsuits,

and I get paid!

I'm a total genius!

(The Next Day)

W-Wait! Hold on!

(100 Yen Per Photo, 10,000 Yen Per Punch) What the heck is this?

I had such a brilliant idea! Why am I the one getting humiliated?

Exactly!

Having people stare at you in a swimsuit is embarrassing!

Maybe use that big brain of yours to learn some manners!

The tips went straight into the Swimming Club's budget.

Hey, Arisu! I'm bored!

Yeah, yeah. Just give me a sec.

You want me to help with the night patrol?

Yeah. There's no one else I can ask.

She's intense...

(Disciplinary Committee Member, Yoka Hojo) (Thud!)

(Glare!)

I'll be back as soon as I finish my errand.

An errand? You going to beat up some punks or something?

(Mer...) "Mer..."

"Mer..."

(Mer...)

There's a merch sale.

(Limited-Edition Poku Poku Macaron) For Poku Poku Macaron.

Yoka may look scary and stand 193 cm tall,

but she absolutely loves cute things!

- That's adorable! - So cute!

(School Front Gate, 8:00 PM)

All right, let's start our patrol.

The school really does feel pretty creepy at night.

Yeah, it does.

If you get scared, you can rely on me...

What?

Wait, are you scared?

Even I'm not scared, and I'm younger than you!

I can't help it!

I've got an overactive imagination!

Fine, fine. You can rely on me!

My cuteness can ward off evil, you know!

(Evil-Spirit Repellent) Must be nice being an idiot.

W-W-What's wrong?!

Huh? Oh, sorry. I bumped into you.

I wish he'd rely on me too.

(Now on the Second Floor) We've come even farther in...

Oh, speaking of which...

Ever heard of our school's Seven Mysteries?

(Flash) The echo of someone jumping to their death...

echoing that keeps repeating in the west building.

The seven-foot-tall apparition that roams the high school building at night.

The hanging corpse that never disappears from Class 2-1.

The thirteen steps in the east building that curse anyone who climbs them at midnight.

(Flash) And then...

(Flash) Arisu Terui, Class 2-4.

(Forgot the Other Two) That's just a person's name!

So you really aren't scared of this stuff, Terui?

No, not at all...

Really?

I'm actually kind of a scaredy-cat.

When I was little, I couldn't sleep if my daddy wasn't around.

- Oh, really? - Daddy?

Daddy! Daddy! You actually call him "Daddy"!

What a daddy's girl!

Don't tell me you still take baths together!

Let's go.

So even she gets scared of something.

(Tan Gets Left Behind)

This must be what Otori was talking about earlier.

The cursed thirteen-step staircase.

Ume, I'm scared!

(Squeeze) Ume, I'm scared!

(Squeeze) Yeah, you're definitely not scared.

I'm the one who's actually scared right now!

- It's just a normal staircase. - Ow! Ow!

- Hey. - My shoulder!

- Relax. - Wait!

- There's nothing to worry about. - Look at your right hand!

I want him to rely on me too.

(Elsewhere on the Third Floor)

(Sneaking Around to Ambush Them) How could they ditch someone as cute as me?

They deserve a little payback!

Here's the plan!

I'll hang my jacket on the tree outside the window.

Then, when everyone gets up to the third floor,

they'll mistake it for a hanging corpse and freak out!

Then I'll swoop in to save them, and everyone'll be so grateful!

So this is all about your need for attention?

It's so far away!

Just a little farther...

- Hey! - Huh?

Huh?!

(Flying Into the Night)

Did you guys hear that scream just now?

What was that? Outside?

Did someone jump...?

Terui!

Are you okay?

Wait, what happened? What's gotten into you?

Don't tell me you're actually scared!

I-I told you I was scared this whole time!

Th-That's...

Huh?

That's...

A hanging body!

No, look closer! That's Tan!

Don't look, President!

One look at that thing, and you'll be cursed for sure!

Kotobuki got exactly what she wanted.

Sorry.

After that, Yoka Hojo, the Seven-Foot Lady, helped get Otori down.

(Everything's Huge)

(193 cm Tall, So She Usually Wears Her Uniform Even on Days Off)

It's been forever since I've been at school.

I'm so excited!

(First-Year High School Student, Komaro Michinoku)

(Episode 2: Komaro Appears!!)

(School, 7:30 AM)

(School, 7:30 AM) Man, I'm beat.

I thought the teacher called me in for something important.

- Turns out I just had to prep her lessons. - Make me some cocoa next.

Make it yourself!

Well, I'm already here. Might as well do some student council work.

Huh?

Otori forgot to lock up again.

(Locked-Room Murder Mystery) A murder?!

(Evidence, Culprit)

Um, are you okay?

They're huge!

So heavy...

What's with this girl?

Guess it wasn't a murder after all.

No, wait, I was just...

W-Wait a second!

What a raspy voice!

Huh?

Hair's fine. I look presentable.

That's what you're worried about?

What's with all the blood?

And who are you, anyway?

Oh, right. How rude of me.

It's just a nosebleed.

(30 Minutes Earlier)

I got it when a car hit me.

You got hit by a car?!

Shouldn't you have led with that?

That's way more serious!

Oh, I got the order wrong? Sorry.

My name's Komaro.

That's not what I meant!

Wait, you're on the Student Council too?

Yep. General Affairs.

(First-Year High School Student, General Affairs Komaro Michinoku)

I've been out for about a month because of an injury.

O-Oh, I see.

Poor thing...

(Hehe...) I come back and I've got a junior! I'm so happy!

She's so modest, too.

A little weird, though.

Oh, right. I should probably get to work.

General Affairs work?

Wow, she's tiny when she stands up.

Yep! I've got tons to do! Watch!

Like picking things up off the floor!

Oh. Impressive.

- Like a stray cat getting its first kibble. - Gotta get these before they get stepped on!

What?

Oh, nothing!

I was just thinking it's amazing how hard you're working right after getting hurt.

Uh, well...

I should probably get some work done too.

Huh?

W-What's wrong?

Hey, Ume, you're the secretary?

Yeah, I am.

I actually wanted to be the secretary.

But they wouldn't let me.

So I wanna see what a secretary does up close!

Can I?

Uh, yeah, of course!

Where'd all this enthusiasm come from?

Then...

Uh...

H-Hold on a second!

Come on, hurry!

Does this say "but"?

- Oh, never mind. - No, it says "however."

(First-Year, Class 2)

(Tiny) Well, Michinoku, who was absent,

(Tiny) is finally back with us.

Make her feel welcome, everyone.

We're in the same class?!

Take the seat behind Mizunoe.

(130-Yen Bread, Split Between Two Meals)

(Hand Plate: Bad Manners. Boob Plate: Good Manners.)

(Student Council Room)

So, anyway...

Koma from General Affairs is back!

By the way,

when did you two get so close?

We just happened to run into each other this morning.

We're besties now!

Seeing you two like this kinda ticks me off.

I see.

How nice!

Anyway, I'm glad Koma's back with us.

Yeah, me too.

Quit clinging to me!

Since Koma's in General Affairs,

her work will probably overlap with Mizunoe's quite a bit.

Yeah.

I'll show him the ropes...

Make sure you show her the ropes, Mizunoe.

I know!

Oh, sorry.

Koma's actually your senior on the Student Council.

So that's how everyone treats her.

Come to think of it, why is Michinoku in General Affairs?

I heard she wanted to be secretary.

Want a snack?

Well, about that...

I worked so hard on those super-important papers!

Well, General Affairs

- doesn't handle much important stuff. - Wipe that up, now!

Okay, I think I get it now.

Oh, hello! Koma, you're back!

Oh, my!

H-Hello!

(Gloom) You're doing that at school?

We're not!

Oh, so I got the wrong idea?

With Koma, I thought maybe...

My apologies!

What kind of girl do you think she is?

This girl has absolutely no guard around anyone.

She's like a kakapo, too friendly for its own good!

A kakapo?

Wanna see for yourself?

Huh?

There!

See? No resistance at all!

She needs protecting!

No one but you would do that!

Oh, Koma!

If someone grabs your boobs, you gotta get mad and tell them no!

Look who's talking!

Oh, right...

If you don't like it, you have to say so,

or some creep might do something awful to you!

U-Um, but...

I didn't mind what you did just now,

so I guess it's okay...

Aww!

See what I mean?

She's so clueless, it's adorable!

She really does treat her like an animal.

You've been going on and on about how cute she is.

But seriously, how cute is she really?

What do you mean?

I'm saying...

between clumsy little Koma

and super-capable, go-getter me,

who's cuter?

Michinoku, obviously.

Objectively? Koma, of course.

What?

(Komaro is right here) Sorry our first meeting got so chaotic.

Don't worry. It's always like this.

By the way, Koma, have you said hi to Ms. Hiratsuka yet?

Yeah! She said she was glad I was back.

Huh?

Michinoku, you're close with Ms. Hiratsuka?

Didn't you transfer here in high school?

Yeah, but we met back in middle school.

I was watching her catch bugs in the park, and she started talking to me.

A 29-year-old single woman...

You're close with her too, Ume!

She talks about you sometimes.

Huh? Really?

She says you're a Japanese whiz who's hopeless at math and science.

That woman...

Well... she's not wrong.

Does your stomach hurt?

Aw, you all get along so well!

Well, those two joined the Student Council on their teacher's recommendation.

Wait, Michinoku too?

Yep, that's right.

She came to me directly and asked me to help out a student who was struggling.

There was a lot going on.

Oh, I see.

Back then, Koma seemed pretty bad at talking to people.

But now she's opened up so quickly.

Maybe Ms. Hiratsuka knew

things would turn out this way.

Huh?

You're in the same year,

and even in the same class, right?

You'd be the perfect match for Koma.

Match?

From what I've seen, you are a really good match.

So good I'm almost jealous!

No, that's not...

No, really!

I'm so happy!

What's with that face you've been making this whole time?

Why are you crying?

And what's all this about us clicking?

Is this snot?

It's coming out of your eyes!

There, there.

You thought someone had stolen Ume away, huh?

You've got it all wrong!

Turns out Kotobuki's the clingy type.

I'm most grateful to you, President.

Huh?

(Even the Student Council Has Its Holes!)

(Next Episode Preview)

(Pool Cleaning in Swimsuits! What a Relief.) (More Student Council Next Time♪)