Original subtitles

It was film festival time, and Donnie was determined to at least appear busy

while he waited for his date, or rather his mark, to arrive.

Donnie Blitzer sipped his Cosmopolitan and began making conspicuous,

unnecessary calls from his cell phone.

We got the phones, you got the money.

Someday, Donnie would be powerful and important. A powerful and important

movie producer.

He knew it from the time he was 18 years old. For it was at that curiously

belated age that the delicate and frequently bullied Danny Blitzer finally

experienced a spurt of growth.

Unfortunately, his manhood did not.

Donnie's ludicrously Lilliputian tool was an embarrassment, but it served as a

catalyst for his burgeoning drive and ambition.

In other words, the secret of Donnie's impending success was a small one.

Four inches, to be precise.

Actually, make that three and a half.

Ugh, too cheap.

Ugh, way too cheap.

Ugh.

Okay, baby, hang on.

Morning.

Morning.

You know, I never thought I'd be saying this, but I have read all your books.

I am your proverbial biggest fan.

Really? Oh, yeah.

Yes! Yes!

Yes! Oh!

Oh! Oh, I can't believe this.

Yeah, I'm having trouble grasping it myself.

Oh, sorry, that was okay, right?

Frankly, I've been vaccinated slower.

What?

Oh, hi.

What'd you say your last name was?

Uh, Garrus, G-A-R-U-S.

Oh, right, Garrus.

Geez, will you look at the time?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, before I go, I was just wondering, do you think maybe you could sign my

book for me?

You know, I don't really do that anymore.

Oh, no, I know that. I was just thinking that since we just... Sorry.

No trophies.

Leave a message.

Jackie, pick up. It's Lionel.

I know you're there. You're getting ready for your date with the mystery

man. Probably putting on makeup.

Understated, of course. Touch of color.

So we'll know you're not sapphic.

You've probably got everything in your wardrobe out. Find a choose between the

gap khakis and the raw silk sweater or the regular gal blue jeans and the

classic white t-shirt.

It's my bet that you settled on the short-clad skirt that you erroneously

think makes your ass look smaller, the black bugger me boots, and incongruously

paired it with a chiffon see-through man-eater black blouse.

Fuck off.

Aha!

Literary bon mots from the writer.

Oh, yeah, I'd love to cut you to the quick, but I've got to quickly cut my

toenails if I'm going to sport these bugger me boots.

Are you wearing them?

Why? Are they ridiculous?

Well, not necessarily.

Is the skirt too short?

Do you think it makes me look unseemly? Not since Danny Blair have I heard this

diminutive quaver in your little voice. Is the skirt ridiculous or what?

Well, Jack, you really don't have time to fret about it.

Oh, shit!

All right. Uh, I'll see you tonight, okay? Unless he's gorgeous.

No.

Where the hell are you?

Are you turning left, sweetheart? Are you?

Now you silly moron.

Come on.

Oh, great.

Rain. Perfect.

Okay, pal, anytime you're ready. Come on.

Oh, you fucking fuck fuck.

The meeting's so nice, I showered twice.

I must look ridiculous.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Cod, I need a smoke.

Oh, perfect.

Thanks.

Now, you know, I don't always look like Gene Kelly after the 30-second take. I

promise you, I looked nearly respectable 30 seconds ago.

What can I get you?

I'm going to have a low-fat latte and a blow dryer, please.

Huh?

I'll just have the low-fat latte, thanks.

Nice girl. I like the way she kind of cocks her head like a chicken when she's

trying to comprehend something.

It is great to finally meet the only decent writer in my group. I have to

say, your trenchant words fortified me, helped me soldier on when I had to wade

through the muck of the other submissions.

You know, you kind of resemble the description of your protagonist, which

leads me to believe that your novel is autobiographical, except

for the part about the two sisters seducing you. Well, I don't know. I just

don't buy it. I mean, that little threesome had to be pure fantasy.

I'm sorry, but I have no idea who you are.

What?

Aren't you Patrick?

No, I'm Svee.

Svee? Svee.

And you are?

Uh... Well, I'm flabbergasted.

So, tell me, Svee, did you get dropped in a fjord when you were younger? Did it

not occur to you that I was supposed to be meeting somebody?

I guess I just wanted to see what you were going to say next. Oh, well, that's

just peachy.

I guess he couldn't wait, which is just as well that he didn't see it this way.

I don't know.

I think you look kind of cute. I mean, in a wet hamster sort of way.

You know, Zvi, this brings to mind a quote.

I love children, especially when they cry, for then somebody takes them away.

Oscar, why?

Nancy Medford, no way to talk to a man whose trenchant words fortified you.

Patrick Francis McKeating.

It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Careful, you're doing that cocking your head like a chicken thing.

It's obviously a very elaborate joke cooked up by Lionel. But he hired you to

take the correspondence course, and he coached you on all the snappy emails,

and the bastard actually goes to the trouble of penning an entire not... Oh,

no. Okay.

Two-thirds of a novel, just to have a laugh at my expense. Oh, ho, ho, ho. The

remaining third.

You know what? Tell Lionel the joke's over.

Look, if you're talking about Lionel Heathcote, I've read him, but I've never

met him. Uh-huh.

Just take this, please.

Please.

Whoa, what have you got in there? Oh, just give me the manuscript, Sonny. Oh,

I've got to know what that thing is. Hey, hey, hey, oh, some people's kids,

Jesus. Or is it some kind of installation art? Yeah, ha, ha, ha.

Yeah. Oh, oh, oh.

Oh? Oh, give me that thing. Okay. Christ.

Well, are you going to read the rest of my book, or what?

Sure, whatever.

Why is it so hard to believe that I wrote it?

Oh, uh, let's see. Because you're 12?

I'm 20. Oh, yeah, same thing. Just taller.

Okay, fine. All right, assuming that Lionel wrote it, how would you say it

stacks up against his other stuff?

It's very different, of course, but it would have to be in order to fool me,

wouldn't it? I mean, you know, Lionel's work has always reminded me of very well

-made pie crusts.

White and cold and elegantly constructed, but, oh, this time, there's

filling. Finally. Oh, yeah, what kind? Berries? Apples? No, you know, it's more

like steak and kidney. There's definitely blood involved. You know,

I'll tell you, Lionel's books, there's never any sex, and the laughs are very

dry. I've always admired and respected his books, but this time I actually

enjoyed it. There was a vitality there.

Oh, you just made my decade.

Yeah, right.

Well, hey, how's your latest tome coming along?

It's great.

I may even finish it today.

Oh, really?

Well, I guess you'll be going then.

Thanks.

Hello?

Kitchen.

That pot roast again.

Close.

Yogurt-marinated breast of free-range capon with a papaya reduction, grilled

peppers, and a mango coulis. That's very ambitious.

Very low-fat.

A splash of 94 Pinot Auxerrois.

Mmm, lovely.

Was the everything you imagined and then some?

Was the man equal to the scribe? Oh, yes, he was very charming. And you know,

after the meeting, he doubled me in his banana seat to Chuck E. Cheese, where we

spent several glorious hours together frolicking in the ballroom.

What?

Oh, don't be coy, you snake.

And don't think I will get back at you, because, oh, I will.

Although, you know, Lionel, I have to give you credit, sweetie.

The book is really funny and smart.

Yes?

Oh, please. The lad must have reported back to you by now.

I'm so on to you, baby.

I'm taking it the date with the mystery man didn't go well.

Oh, come on, Lionel. Have I not been humiliated enough for one year? Jack,

why should I want to humiliate you?

I mean, have I not gone to great lengths to save you from embarrassment?

Yeah.

So?

So the guy is 20, okay?

The allegedly erudite writer, this strong, insightful, provocative man that

I have been corresponding with and fantasizing about for months is barely

out of short pants.

No. Yes!

So I'm still your lover? Yeah, oh, just for a little while longer, okay?

My pleasure.

Twenty.

Ooh, that's ridiculous.

How's the book, Jack?

Oh, it's good.

It's very good. What are you reading at the pen dinner?

It'll be there.

What is this?

Roasted grape leaf wrapped figs with a ricotta and tomato relish center.

All right, you can spit it out.

Danny? Oh, my God. Beautiful. The streets were jammed. This hotel was

besieged by thousands of fans, all hoping to catch a glimpse of superstar

Lupe Martinez, who was in town and taking it all off for her latest film.

Let's check it out. Oh, really?

I play an exotic dancer who has to go on the run after witnessing a gangland

murder.

But in my next film, I play a doctor. One of those doctors, you know, without

the borders.

She goes to Africa and falls in love with this African man.

Does everything she can to save his family.

Now, if that story sounds familiar to you, you're absolutely right. Because

Lupe Martinez is in negotiations to star in the big screen version of Jackie

York's blockbuster novel, Uninvited Stranger. Fucker! Local filmmaker Danny

Blair will be at the helm.

Danny, you... What?! Okay, okay, okay.

Donny Blitzer kicked off his thick-soled shoes and... Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Hang on!

Donny Blitzer shed his leather motorcycle jacket, kindled all the

nonconformists wearing, and flopped down on the sofa.

He scooped up two novels.

Both were written by women, single women, over the age of 35, and who would

gratefully yield to Donnie's entirely self-imagined charms.

Ah!

Too obvious.

This is truly cuckoo.

Donnie Blitzer flopped down on the sofa.

He scooped up a spoon, no a banana, no a screwdriver, and stabbed himself in the

eye.

Garbage.

Captain, you have a new message.

Yeah.

Bizarre.

Patrick, loved the ending. Call me to discuss.

Hello?

So, you don't think the ending's too schmaltzy?

Jesus, that was fast.

Yeah, well, uh, it's not like, uh...

I've been sitting here on the computer waiting forever.

So? I liked it. I liked it a lot.

Really? I think you were very brave to go with a happy ending.

Really? Yeah, I mean, you know, that's just not done these days. I mean,

someone is supposed to waste away in a cave.

Or, uh, perish in a blinding prairie snow squall.

Oh, great.

Now you tell me. You know, there is a few things, though. Like, uh, when

Randall happens to run into James.

That seems a bit convenient.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I was going to ask you about that.

So, listen, maybe we could discuss this over a drink or something.

So, we want to talk about the ending.

Amongst other things?

Uh-huh, like who my agent is and how to go about getting published.

I was thinking general conversation.

Oh, is that right? Yeah, I mean, we've known each other, in a way, for months.

I thought maybe we could be friends.

Friends? Cows, buddies, people attached to one another by mutual esteem or

affection. Ah, yes.

Give me the avowed, erect, and manly foe. Firmly I can meet, perhaps return

the blow.

But of all the plagues, good heaven, thy wrath can send.

Save me, oh, save me from the candid friend.

Yeah, that's about someone being insultingly candid, which I wasn't.

And, uh, besides, whatever happened to, uh, to a friend,

and, you know, the old, uh, the old, uh, saying, friend being

the masterpiece of nature.

Emerson.

Emerson. You're very, very good at this.

Greatly his foes he dreads, but more his friends. He hurts me most who lavishly

commends. Okay, you win.

You win a dinner cooked by me. Mmm.

Alphagitties and apple juice?

Oh, I was thinking something more casual.

Come to my place tomorrow?

Uh, 6 o'clock, let's say, corner of Barkley and 2nd.

Congratulations!

Don't say I never gave you nothing.

You finished it?

No, it's not mine.

Oh, damn.

How's it going? It's good. It's almost finished.

When can I see something? I'm just polishing.

I can't afford another disaster. Oh, will you relax? Christ.

So what is this?

It is a novel by Patrick Francis McKeating. He's one of my creative

writing correspondents.

It's a mess.

Yeah, you know, it's 20.

20?

I know, it's hard to believe, but Suzanne, he is eerily talented.

Ooh, someone's excited.

Fine. I'll start it tonight.

You know, just one thing.

If you do decide to rep him, you just can't tell anyone that I gave it to you,

you know? Just say you sent it unsolicited.

Why is that?

Because I can't be seen to be boosting the career of another young man.

Oh, I see.

I take it you heard about Lupe Martinez?

It is ridiculous.

The character that I wrote is plain and pushing 40 and a brilliant surgeon.

Somehow I can't picture Lupe with a scalpel.

Although I'm sure she's been under a few.

You know, I hate to say it, but if you'd let me handle it, you wouldn't be

hurting in the Bucks department right now. Oh, that's good rubbing in. All I'm

saying is from now on, please take my advice.

Oh, you know, that reminds me. Did you tell those TV people not to utter the

name? Danny Blair for the tenth time, yes.

Suzanne, do I have to do it?

No. But it's good publicity, a little cash, and my advice is to do it.

Patrick McKeating.

Patrick? Yeah, the giant. He lives in the basement.

The basement?

Yeah, you gotta go run back.

Thanks. Hey, don't I know you?

No. Man, you look really familiar.

I don't think so.

Probably just the drugs.

Hi. Come on in.

Great, thanks. Just, uh, make yourself at home.

Wow.

I, uh, brought some canola. Oh, great. I, uh, thought you were bringing

dessert.

Yeah, the, uh, canola is dessert.

Oh, right. It just sounds vaguely pasta-like.

What the hell is this?

Peas, I think, or corn nibblets. I don't know. They came with the place.

Green Giant meets the Franklin Expedition?

Yeah.

Yep. That's a good one.

Wow.

Would you like something to drink before you rifle through my belongings?

Sure. What have you got?

Um... Chocolate milk? Kool-Aid? Freshie?

Maalox? Geritol?

Sanka?

I'll have a glass of wine.

Smartass. Right.

Oh, my God.

Is this a theremin?

Wow, you're the first person who's known what that was. I mean, we can play it

after dinner if you like.

Grab that. There we are.

Okay.

Ritz crackers and cheese.

Great.

Cheers. I am.

Oh, it's a very good month.

You have a lot of music.

Yeah, I love music. Mm-hmm.

Gob? Gob is music.

Really? No.

It's ready.

Hey,

here we go.

Oh, yeah, don't worry. If you find a fly in your dinner, you don't have to eat

it. Oh, that's reassuring. I mean, you don't have to eat the fly. You still

have to eat the dinner.

I'll just put that over there.

Okay. All right. Maybe a couple more.

Just one more. That's good.

Actually, this is the way I like to do it, so I think that about does it.

Okay.

And the sauce.

This is the good. Do you like fettuccine alfredo? I do, but, you know, it's pure

fat. Yeah, but that's the good part.

You know what?

Honest, you know, I'm not going to get through half of this. Just have as much

as you like.

Okay? Okay.

There's more sauce on the stove.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Dig in.

Mmm.

Delish.

You want some bread to get the rest of that sauce?

Oh, that's very funny.

You don't want the sauce in your cup.

I haven't really touched that.

Well, you know, there is a good reason for that.

I guess it's not very good.

I'd only say you're safe.

As long as it's over ten bucks.

For a regular bottle, maybe. I don't think for that hillbilly jug you

schlepped home.

Um, I got some bush mills.

Do you want some bush mills?

I don't know.

What's a bush mill?

Oh, that's good, that's good.

Wow!

Goobus...

...is...

Are

you okay?

No, it's okay.

...must...

Gob is music.

Gob is music. You wrote it on my... Well,

I'm gonna go home now. What are you talking about? It's the middle of the

night. Yeah, I know, but I think I should just go.

Wait, no, Patrick, don't look me up!

Patrick, what are you doing?

Jesus, have another cannoli. Boy, you got a lot of nerve.

Oh, many things.

Little is not one of them.

Please call me home, I pray.

And tell me.

Tell me.

Holy Toledo.

That's the best sex I ever had.

Before I let that go to my head, exactly how many lovers have you had?

Including the nuns?

Two. And you?

More than two.

I gotta go. I got people coming. Oh, stop whining. I gotta go. I gotta go.

And so you've had thousands of lovers.

Don't give a shit.

I'm still gonna kiss you where you've never, ever been kissed before.

I got you there.

What?

This is bad.

Well, show me good. No, I mean it's bad, like ridiculous, you know, absurd.

Why?

Because you're 20, and I'm not 20.

You know, there are a lot of advantages to dating a younger man. Uh-huh, such

as?

Well... Oh,

Jesus, already?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I'm, uh, I'm beginning to see your point.

Good morning.

Morning! Come on in. Hi!

Hi. Wow.

My name's Andrea. I'm Jackie. Jackie, I know, I know. And this is Roman, our

cameraman. I'm a big fan.

Oh, great, thanks.

So, uh, you guys want some coffee? I know I do.

You guys get a early start, don't you? Yes, we do.

Oh, so, uh... where would you like to do the interview oh no it's not just an

interview you've seen the show the with the you know actually what's it called

again it's called a day in the life right we've been trying to get you for

four years now really you know i don't watch much tv really

Well, what we try to do is we try to paint a textured video portrait of our

subjects. You know, we follow you around and we see all the interesting things

you do with your friends at work, at play. You know, we just hone in and

really try to get to know you.

Just reveal a typical day in the life of Jackie York.

Sounds interesting.

I think so.

So listen, we've scheduled three half days, if that's all right with you. Oh,

sure. And we would love it if we could get you and Lionel Heathcote together,

if that's okay. Okay, we're rolling.

Okay, well, why don't we start over here by the lovely piano?

Do you play?

Oh, you know, I dabble a little Chopin, Schubert, Bach on occasion.

Well, could you play something for us?

Oh, no way.

I refuse to recklessly exhibit my deficiencies on national television.

Oh, come on.

Really, Andrea, I dare not.

Okay, all right. Well, then why don't we talk about something you are good at,

writing. Why don't you tell us about that new project you're working on? It's

been a while since you put out a book.

Yeah, the... You know what? Wait, wait, hang on.

Do you think that we could do the, uh...

the talking part on another day i'm feeling a little little tired actually

okay uh sure we can we can do the lifestyle stuff now get that out of the

way and do the interview on the last day that's perfect very natural very natural

maybe snip snip cut the flower yeah excellent excellent and

just naturally and whoa hey that's all right just smile smile yes

Okay, so why don't you show us your favorite ones. Pick up the ones you

like. I'm just, not those.

Just all the star lilies. Can we just do a big, big star? Okay, okay.

Just a lot.

A lot of them.

Sniff them too.

I don't want to sniff flowers.

Okay,

no, thanks.

Just the star lilies. Thank you.

So good. Oh, God.

That looks great, you two.

Oh, God. You look like shit, Jack. Oh, really?

Thanks very much.

No, I mean, you look exhausted.

Oh, do I?

You're diddling that kid.

Jesus, Lionel. Hey, Lionel, why don't you give her a kiss?

Oh, idea. A kiss?

Fantastic.

You know, Jack, zipless fucks are fine and dandy.

But one of these days you're going to have to take a risk and let somebody get

close to you again.

That's great, you two!

Hello? Hi, it's me.

Me? One dinner and you're already a me?

Sorry, it's Patrick.

I, uh, had a great time last night. I'm glad.

You left your bag here. What?

I did not.

You know what Freud would say.

I think it's best to leave Freud out of this. Oh, don't worry, you're nothing

like my mother.

Good. So, listen, you want me to bring it over or something?

Uh, no, gee, you know, you don't have to do that. You want to meet for a coffee?

What, you're going to show up at an espresso bar carrying my purse?

It's going to look a little weird, don't you think?

I don't care if I look weird. I was thinking about me, actually. Only

because, you know, sometimes people recognize me and... Oh, I get it. You

know, um, why don't I just pop over tonight and, uh, pick it up? Well, I'm

working tonight. Why don't you pop over and get me?

Uh, what time?

Uh, 6.

Oh. 5.30.

Ah. Shwarma King Jesus.

Oh!

Excuse me, miss.

Excuse me, miss.

Hi, what's your name?

Oh, my God.

Just tell me your name.

Trixie. Trixie. Hi, Trixie. Can you just take one of these torches? Perfect.

Okay, on the count of three, Trixie's going to throw this torch at me. This is

the big finale trick. Here we go.

No, I'm not.

One, two, three.

This is what you do and embarrass people well if it's raining I work inside you

get that stuff What, and jam mystery meat into flatbread?

Hey, show some respect when you're addressing the king.

Mmm.

You were right.

These are good. Oh, I told you.

You need to put the special sauce in yours, because I... I know, but you

should be writing, not wasting your time in a dive like that. When I'm doing my

show, I love watching them watch me. It's not an ego thing. It's just all

those different reactions.

Oh, my God. I can't imagine.

It's fun. I know, but... I mean, to me, there is nothing worse than the idea of

having a group of people standing around watching you now. I mean, I... Mm-hmm.

Oh, God.

Come on.

It's been years.

Why? I don't know.

No time.

What with all the drinking.

Ah. Ah.

No.

Wait, you know, one more maybe.

You sure?

So, Patrick.

So, Jackie.

So what are you doing with an old broad like me, huh?

I mean, how come you don't have a girlfriend from, like, school or work or

something?

I don't know. It's not like I'm a misanthrope or something.

I mean, I like most people. It's just there's very few with whom I feel

connected. But I always felt that connection with you.

Oh, really?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Really. I felt it from the moment I first picked up one of your books.

After two pages. After two paragraphs, even.

And now... Well... Now I feel it all over.

In my brain, in my gut.

My magic Johnson.

What are you, five?

Beat it, shit-smear! I come in peace. Look, White Star Lily is your favorite.

Look, I need a favor.

A favor?

A favor? Well, that's a good one. Let me guess. You want the rights to the rest

of my novels for what? 50 cents this time? Okay, okay, I deserve that. Go

ahead, insult me, beat me, burn me with a cigarette, but please just hear me

out. You know what? I can't wait. Lay it on me.

Okay, it is Lupe Martina. She really...

Really wants to meet with the author, wants to discuss her character, wants it

to be authentic.

You know, these flaky actor types.

Okay, anyway, I told her I'd arrange it.

Please, Jackie, I'm begging you here.

You know, maybe it'd be more authentic if you were down on your knees.

Oh, that's very mature.

Okay, okay, fine, fine.

Fine.

Please, Jackie.

I'll make it worth your while. Just tell me what you want.

Talk to my agent.

Hey, it's Suzanne.

You were right. I love that manuscript. Yes!

It's fresh and it's funny and it's sexy.

And... Listen, I can market the hell out of the fact that he's only 20. Call me.

Oh.

Hey. Hey.

Hi.

What?

Nothing.

Nothing, just... Oh, there's Suzanne.

Hi, guys. Hi. I'm sorry I'm late. No, no, no, Patrick just got here. Oh, so

this is Boy Wonder, huh? This is he. I'm really pleased to meet you. Nice to meet

you. I really dug your book. Oh, thanks.

It's amazing. He totally nailed the middle-aged protagonist.

Yeah, I'm getting pretty good at nailing middle-aged types.

How are you this evening? Oh, we're great.

Something to drink? Oh, yes, please. I would like a painfully dry gin martini

straight up. Three olives? Sounds good to me.

And for you?

Yeah, what the hell, I'll try that actually.

Um, you'll have a martini as well?

Yeah, I'm legal. Jackie can vouch for me.

I can?

You're 21, right?

Right. Oh, of course he is. I forgot.

Okay, three martinis. Back in a jiff.

So, is this your first time meeting?

Yeah, and it's so great to finally meet my star pupil. Oh, I'll bet. Yeah, you

know, the funny thing is I get the feeling we've met before.

Oh, Suzanne, we're in luck. They have the foie gras.

Oh, fabulous. That's goose liver, Patrick.

Oh, so did he call?

Of course he called. He made a very generous offer of five grand.

Oh, the fucker. Alas, we all know he recently received 100,000.

So what did you counter with? 100,000.

Plus one.

I didn't want you to be out your original option price.

Oh, my God, Susan.

You are evil. I love it.

You must be seething. Oh,

he'll never go for it, though.

If he wants to direct a big, splashy film, he will. If he wants a big-name

star, he'll go for it, all right.

Plus one.

You think?

What's the matter?

I don't know who I just had dinner with. Who are you? What are you talking about?

That's Goose Liver Patrick.

Well, you didn't know what cannoli was. Right, see ya.

Oh, oh, I get it. You got what you were after, and now you don't need me

anymore. I didn't ask you to set that up. Did I ask you to set that up, huh?

No. I'm pissed because you treated me like I was 12 years old, because you

acted as if we'd never met.

And because you totally shut me out of your conversation, which, by the way,

was more than a little creepy.

Okay, you know, maybe I was a tad over the top. A tad?

But I didn't want her to know, all right? I mean, she's a great agent, but

she lives to gossip. And I don't need my private life broadcast all over the

place right now. Will you slow down, please? Because my heels are a lot

higher than yours.

God.

I'm sorry.

I know I sounded like a nasty bitch, but it's complicated.

I'll drive you home.

Let's go out somewhere.

Oh, you know, I have been out all day.

Oh, well, then let's go to your place.

Live the theremin.

Sorry. Oh, it's okay.

I can't sleep either.

Oh, you know what? I should get up and write. You really think my book will get

published? Oh, it'll get published, all right.

Well, what if no one wants it?

It's a great book.

Someone's gonna want it, don't you worry.

Okay? Okay.

Oh, God, I envy you.

You envy me? Why?

Because you have a juicy manuscript sitting fat and ready in an envelope. I

mean... You're almost done your latest.

Just like the last one. I find that very hard to believe. No, believe it.

And I have to read something for this fucking pen benefit in two weeks in

front of the whole damn writing world.

You know, why did I even say yes? What was I thinking?

Oh, shit.

I'm the stupidest guy in the world.

What?

I wasted so much time having faith in books that suck.

Shut up and go back to sleep.

Oh, that's okay.

It's too bad that while I was in my weirdo depressed, I don't belong in this

world. All fucked up and alone because I'm the only 16-year-old prom date

phase.

Your books, especially that piece of shit, Coming of Rage, really helped me

get through it.

Gave me hope and ideas and a friend.

You write something great.

Don't worry.

You got lots to say.

Thanks.

Sweet dreams.

What's going on?

What day is it today?

It's Thursday.

Shit. Did you bring your phone?

No.

Did you bring yours?

I didn't bring my phone.

Well, hell, if she's not answering the phone, we've got to reschedule. We've

got to call her. Maybe we'll go find a place for them down there. Hey, good

morning. Yeah.

As you can see, I slept in. You know, it's just for some reason I thought we

were doing this tomorrow.

No, Thursday. No, we didn't. That's what we said.

Oh, anyway.

Is there any way we can rearrange it? No, actually, I'm not going to have

Roman tomorrow.

Oh. We can wait while you get ready, if that's... That'd be great. Why don't you

come back in, what, say, an hour? Well, you know, if you don't mind, maybe we

could go on in, get some pickup shots of the house, because we are going to do

the house tour thing today. Yeah, that would be good.

Yeah, uh, yeah. Oh, okay, sure.

What's going on?

Fucking documentary people.

Can you hang around the bed?

Oh, I don't know. I got tons of shit to do. Okay,

here's my word.

I have to give them a tour of the house.

So, I'll start them up here, and then, like, go down to the basement, and you

can, you know, like, slip out.

You want me to wait in here?

Yeah. I gotta take a piss.

Please.

Sorry about that. Hey, no problem. I'm just going to quickly make some coffee.

Can't function without caffeine. We could shoot you doing that.

Yep, we're rolling.

Thank you.

Shall we do the house tour now? Actually, before we do that, let's

quickly get some footage of you reading from one of your novels.

And then can we do the house tour?

Yeah.

She

was

adept at sizing up people.

Sizing up and pinning down.

the botanist's talent for identification and classification.

But she couldn't pin him down.

Still,

she knew she would take him home.

There's something about me you should know, he said.

Is someone upstairs?

No, it's old plumbing.

Actually, nature's calling. The bathroom's just upstairs. Is the

bathroom upstairs? Yes, the bathroom is upstairs.

Thanks.

Jackie York at the Rowland.

Hall of Fame by Jackie York.

That's it?

Oh, okay.

So can we do the house tour now? I was thinking we could start in my bedroom.

You know, actually, I think we should get a couple more shots of you reading,

and then we'll do the main floor because we're already lit in here for that.

Okay, ready? Okay.

There's something about me you should know.

Okay, she said, and waited for him to speak.

He leaned in, cupped his hand.

and whispered hot into her ear.

Hi there.

Oh, hi.

Um, who's this? Oh, this is my personal assistant.

It's one of those higher student things, you know, with the... So, um, don't

forget to pick up that dry cleaning.

Right. Please?

Bye.

You kid, huh?

You have called. I'm not home. Leave a message at the... Hi.

It's me again.

Pick up the phone.

All right. Call me when you get in.

It's Jackie.

Pick up.

Oh, come on.

Don't be a baby.

Pick up the fucking phone.

Fine.

Who cares?

Hi.

If you've come for your dry cleaning, I don't have it. Yeah, funny.

Okay, guys.

See you later.

So can I come in?

What for?

A roll in the hay before you steal away under the cover of darkness?

Please, spare me the histrionics.

Okay. What?

Look, it's just...

They think Lionel and I are an item. You know, I mean, they've shot scenes of us

together, and it would make them look foolish, you know, and I don't want to

do that.

So you and Lionel are an item?

It's a long and stupid story.

Can I come in, please?

I signed, he took the book, he disappeared, and I look like an idiot.

And what, you think I'm some kind of Danny Blair? No, that's not what I

think, but what I think is not exactly the point, you know?

I'm not going to be your dirty little secret.

No, I'm serious.

I like you a lot.

I don't want to just hide out with you.

Why? Has it been so horrible?

No.

That's the problem.

Sooner or later, I'm going to want to go see a movie with you. Or go to a bar and

shoot some pool. The play pool?

Yeah, I used to. Or go to a bar and beat your ass at pool.

Or go to a concert. Or go to the Penn Benefit to hear you read.

What is this, some kind of ultimatum? No, I just think it's wise to stop now

before I get too embroiled.

What if I don't want to stop?

by an arm.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

General Morphic Systems Engineering. What?

You're kidding. We're really going to do that. People change.

piece of your car here you shouldn't leave home without it

your

muffler my muffler yeah where should i put it just

anywhere can i come in no it's just um

You know, I had a moment of clarity tonight in that sea of youthful

humanity, and I realized that, you know, maybe this whole thing isn't such a good

idea. You gonna let a couple of ditzy titsies run your life? No, it's not just

them. I mean, your gal pal was stupid enough to say something.

Everyone else is just thinking.

Who cares? I care.

I'm gonna be 40 in a couple of days. So what? So?

I mean, someday I might have to meet your mother.

My problem. Or your father. His problem.

I just think we should stop this before we become too... Embroiled.

Embroiled. Listen, if... No.

So that's it?

No, you know, we could be friends.

Friends.

Friendship often ends in love, but love and friendship never, right?

This is where my eyes chase my tear This is where I

can't help myself And this is where I feel

like I failed again

And this is where I want

retaliation And if I could I'd steal your soul

This is where I stop and I give in. We're not here. Leave

a message.

It's Patrick.

Too loud.

Talk to me.

Too loud.

Uh, we're not here. Leave a message.

Jackie, get up. It's important.

Answer the phone.

Oh, geez, come on already. Wake up, girl. I've got news.

Oh, big news girl, good news!

Ka-ching, ka-ching!

Oh, I give up. I'll call you later.

Aren't you gonna thank me?

I paid you, I don't have to thank you.

Brandy, no! No!

Brandy!

Brandy!

Sweetie!

Can you take this home service stuff?

It's a pretty gag.

Brandy? I don't know, but the brandy has this thing about panties.

What a doll.

Coffee? Please.

I just love the character of Anna.

Thanks. I'm finally going to have a chance to flex my acting muscle.

Have you seen the script?

I haven't. It's not there yet.

You know what I was thinking?

I was thinking maybe she could sing.

I sing.

Sing?

Like a singing surgeon?

Yes, yes, yes!

No, not while she's working, you know.

I don't know.

But the point is, I'm not signing on until she's a fully developed character.

Just like in the book.

So you haven't actually signed yet?

No. You know what I think should come true is her incredible bravery.

Watch it.

Yes, well, you know, Anna is very brave, but so are you.

I am?

To tackle such a complex role with a director who's never even done a feature

before, that's brave.

Because you don't want to get out there and really flex your acting muscle and

not have a director who's on the same page. You just screw it up. I have a

good feeling about Danny.

And I'm famous for my intuition.

I bet.

So I guess you've seen his short film, huh?

No. He never mentioned.

No. No. No. No!

Yes. Yes.

Oh,

Danny, you're such a doll.

Hey.

Hey. Can I help you? Uh, what? Yeah, oh, you know, uh, I'm working for Danny

Blair. He's directing Miss Martinez's next project. Yes, I know. And, uh...

He's not around right now. Yes, I know. He isn't. I just wanted... He wants me

to deliver this to her personally. Tell you what.

I will give it to him. You know, it's very important. I mean, he'll get on my

ass. Don't worry, she'll get it. Okay, that'd be great. Thank you.

Thanks, thanks very much.

What's with the Blanche DuBois lighting?

Special occasion, I don't know. Is anybody else coming?

No, you said.

Lordy, lordy, look who's 40.

Well, I saved my best lines for the page, sweetie.

Oh, come on, Jackie. You are a very attractive, youngish woman.

What is this?

Rhubarb mousse cake with a non-fat cream cheese icing.

But before we eat... Mmm!

Oh, my gosh!

Wait, let me guess.

Uh... Thighmaster in a box of Depends?

No, it's, um... It's a cappuccino maker!

Yes!

Happy birthday.

Thank you, sweetie.

So, I got some brandy. I thought we'd relax, get comfortable, watch a movie.

That sounds good. What'd you get?

The original Napoleon.

Brandy.

Brandy, Jackie?

No, I'm good.

What?

Oh, here, I'll give you a little rub.

No, it's okay. Not to worry.

Okay.

Oh.

You know, I've been thinking, Jack, about this.

posing as lovers thing.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I've been thinking and thinking and thinking about

it. Oh, God!

What? What is it?

It's my head.

It's so bad.

Really? Oh, yeah.

Uh-huh.

You know, I think I have to go home and go to bed.

So can I call you tomorrow and we can talk?

Yeah. No, no, of course. Of course you can. Okay.

You want me to take you home? Oh, no, you just stay here and watch the movie.

Thank you, honey. That was really fun.

Uh-huh. Thanks for that. You're okay.

Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

Proceed to the living room.

Open parcel 1A followed by envelope number 2. Play the new Gob CD and

proceed to the kitchen. Open 2A followed by envelope number 3.

Pour yourself a stiff one.

Proceed to the bathroom and open 3A followed by envelope number 4.

Run a hot bath.

Pour in the Mr. Bubbles. Relax.

Sip the whiskey. And when the music stops, open 4A followed by envelope

number 5. And put on the sexy t-shirt and proceed to the kitchen.

Open 5A and envelope number 6.

And ta-da!

Pop the corn and proceed to the living room. Ha-ha!

You can't watch this tape alone.

And remember, at 20 the will reigns, at 30 the wit, and at 40 the judgment. Use

it. Call me.

Yes? Hi, Mom.

No, no, no, no.

They'll give the money. They'll give the money to someone who wants it.

Someone who wants to be a neuromorphic engineer. I don't know.

Don't, don't. Just let him watch his golf tournament.

Okay.

Bye.

Hi.

It's me.

I know, I'm sorry to call so late, but... Can I come over?

Oh! Wait! You're on my hair!

Why isn't this working?

That's some massage oil.

You want to ruin these sheets? You know, these sheets are beautiful.

You like them? Yeah.

I just got them.

Yeah, I can see that. They're lovely.

Are they expensive?

On sale.

No.

Maybe a change of scenery?

Well, yeah.

What?

What?

The music's a bit much.

You know, I think the water is too hot.

I don't know. I just don't think my heart is into this.

My heart's into it.

I slumped her.

You know, I never thought I'd hear from you again.

Notice anything different?

I've been lifting weights.

Very impressive.

Notice anything else?

No frontal lobe scarring. The teeth.

I had them whitened with lasers. See?

You know, I never thought I'd hear from you again.

Had to say it was a pleasant surprise.

Long story short, I... Listen to that.

Reminds me of Chet Baker. No one else could achieve that particular sound.

Most people think of Chet as a trumpet player, but in fact, he played the

flugelhorn. Did you know that?

I guess you're aware of his trouble with drugs.

Did you see the movie they made about his life? They depicted his descent into

addiction and... Illustrated how the music suffered.

Unfortunate, really. He was a very unique and interesting man.

You okay?

You need to get shtooked.

That's rich.

I could fix you up with someone.

Oh, no.

Not the globe, Johnny. I'm telling you, you'll love this guy.

He's been all around the world. He's handsome.

He's independently wealthy. And zero sense of humor.

I never said that. Yes, you did.

I said he's not a laugh a minute.

He enjoys a good joke, just like the rest of us. Well, how come you don't

want him? He's too old. He's 47.

47 is too old?

For me, it is.

Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not such a horrible idea.

So I should give him your number? No.

No. It has to be, you know, just something casual, like a dinner or

something with other people around, so it's not so obvious.

All right.

I'll have a dinner at my place.

All right.

Oh,

there's something else you should know about him.

Married, incontinent, or herpetic?

None of the above. It's his name.

Why, what's his name?

Rod.

Rod?

Jesus. It gets worse.

Huh?

Oh, shit.

Why, what's his last name?

Poker.

Rod Poker.

What you doing?

Not coming out. Lupe, sweetheart.

Patrick's coming?

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

I just swallowed the wrong way. That's all.

So who else is coming?

You, me, Rod, Natasha Zostak. Oh, Jesus.

Patrick and his date. I can't remember her name.

He's bringing a date?

Yeah. Some friend from out of town.

I told him to bring her along.

I can't stand that Natasha.

Yeah.

You'll be focused on Rod, anyway.

Eh?

Do you know, I've traveled quite a bit in that corner of the world, and I must

prefer New Zealand to Australia.

How interesting.

Crystal, tell me, what exactly do you do?

Well, most of the year I teach yoga and aerobics, and then in the summers I go

tree planting up north.

Really? Why would you do that? It's fun.

You camp out, meet tons of people.

And the fun part would be the... The people camping out?

So, do they have bathroom facilities?

The woods.

Haldolorus. It means distressing. Or deplorable.

It's important work, though.

Well, true.

I mean, you're planting bathroom facilities for future generations.

I never even thought of it that way.

This is crazy.

Do you want another one? Thanks.

You sure you want another one?

Does an aerobics instructor shit in the woods?

One of the most memorable images from my travels was a couple of years ago in the

South Pacific, when an entire pod of whales beached themselves overnight.

It was startling to look at. Absolutely startling. I could imagine these huge

bloated forms, you know, stretched out along the sand as far as the eye could

see. Sounds like Waikiki Beach.

Do you need a hand?

Jackie will help, won't you, Jackie?

You better slow down, baby.

I'm fine.

I'm just a little tense, that's all.

You like him, don't you?

Who? Rod.

Rod Poker?

Talk about that crystal, huh?

Not exactly a rocket scientist, is she? Well, I think she's sweet.

Like candy floss.

Rod's kind of handsome, eh?

He's too outdoorsy. The guy looks like he just tumbled out of a knitting

instruction booklet.

God, you're picky.

I can't imagine what the man of your dreams looks like.

Suzanne, that was fantastic.

Thank you. My specialty.

Veal piccata.

You know, the last time I had it was in this charming, rather funny little cafe

in Siena. How interesting.

God, I am so weary of the mendacious assertion that traveling to interesting

places automatically makes one interesting.

Well, I beg to differ.

Oh, just differ, Natasha. No one wants to see you beg.

Excuse my boarding house reach.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

So, um, what are you working on nowadays?

Well, actually, I just completed my third volume of Heronius.

Heronius? It's politically correct porn that doesn't get you horny.

Oh, really?

It's selling extremely well.

So, um, seconds, anyone?

No, thanks. I'm stuffed.

You didn't even touch the veal.

I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat anything with a face.

How unfortunate.

Except for the cow.

Excuse me.

So, uh, anyone for dessert?

What?

Look. What? I'm sorry, okay?

It's just that, you know, you're such a bright and interesting guy, you know?

And I just...

I hate to see you wasting yourself.

Oh, really? And why would you care?

Oh, please.

I mean, this is... You know, you're so... You're so smart, and you're funny,

and... And just... And great, you know? And I mean... I mean, that girl, what...

You know, aside from the fact that she's, well, young and fit and trim,

what could you possibly see in her?

Well, for one thing, she's... She's... Kind and honest.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I know I'm sorry.

But much more importantly, she's brave.

She does what she feels is right in her own heart, doesn't give a rat's ass what

other people think of her.

She'd rather be laughed at for who she is than live out some dreary lie.

Maybe she can't quote Tennyson.

But she's smart enough to know that life's too fucking short to waste her

creative energy. The best part of herself producing crap.

Vindictive crap mired in self-importance.

You truly disappoint me, Jackie.

I mean, just look at yourself.

You are pathetic.

Excuse me.

Hi.

I, uh, I never thought I'd say this, but I've read all your books.

Yeah? I'm like your biggest fan.

Thanks. I was wondering if you could maybe sign my book.

You know, I don't really do that anymore now, but... Oh.

I see.

What the hell?

What's your name?

Jacob.

Morning.

Hi. Thanks. Did you forget?

Nope. Come on in. Again?

Morning. Are you okay?

Oh, yeah.

Just criminally hungover.

Oh, dear.

How about I make the coffee while you get ready? Sounds like a plan. Okay.

Start in tight and stay there when being close for this. Do mine later.

Okay.

Um, when did you say this thing was gonna air? Uh, not next Thursday, but

the Thursday after that, which is the same night as the Penn Benefit, which I

understand. You're the big star this year.

Yeah. What channel is it?

It's Channel 5.

It's prime time.

Big audience.

Maybe you should write it down.

Uh, no, I'll remember that.

Okay, so you almost ready?

Yeah, whenever you are. Okay.

So... We are rolling.

Why don't you tell us about what you're working on? It's been a while since you

put out a book.

Uh, yes.

Um, and that's because I'm trying something that's a bit of a departure

for me.

I am working with a male protagonist who is a distinctly unsavory character.

Can you tell us what it's about?

It's a darkly comic tale about a young film director who has oodles of

ambition, but sadly...

and eventually his own ambition leads to his demise.

Sounds delicious.

Now, does this have anything to do with Danny Blair?

Excuse me? The young film producer who manipulated you, acquired the screen

rights to your most popular novel for a dollar while you were dating.

Is that what people think?

And then once the deal was closed, he ended the relationship.

You know, first of all, the book has...

Nothing to do with that. I'm a fiction writer.

I invent.

And, you know, allow me also to set the record straight on Mr. Blair.

The relationship, which, you know, quite frankly was, well, nothing more than a

sexual diversion, ended when Donnie, Danny discovered that I was

becoming involved with Lionel Heathcote.

I see.

And, you know, no skin off my nose, because when the film gets made, it's

going to be great, great for book sales.

Well, thanks for being so candid. Gosh, you're wonderful.

No, it just, it feels good to set the record straight, you know.

Get the truth out there.

So when can we expect the boot to come out? Are you close to finishing?

Yeah.

I'm... I'm just polishing.

Yeah.

Just... just polishing.

Um, Jackie?

Are you all right?

Actually, I'm very fucking tired.

Um, well, I guess that's understandable.

I... I feel sick.

I think we should just finish this tomorrow.

We'll come back when you're feeling more yourself.

More myself?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Actually, um... Do you think we could just

take it from the top?

You want to start the whole thing over?

Yeah.

Too bad.

Oh what a shame. Gotta go.

Hi, it's Jackie again.

Could you call me back, please?

Um, I'm trying to get in touch with Patrick.

Have you heard from him?

Yes, I've heard from him. He withdrew his manuscript.

What?

Why? Said he was suffering from disillusionment.

He was going to put his face in numbers.

Hi,

I'm looking for Patrick. You know, the... Patrick quit.

I think he went back to school or something.

He... If I listen closely, you sing

my soul's lullaby.

I cannot be without you no more than the sky.

And when I dream of this, put your wish on my lips.

Tonight, we go behind the scenes with award-winning novelist, Jackie York.

So, Jackie, why don't you tell us about what you've been working on? It's been a

while since you put out a book.

Well, the truth is, I've spent the last 11 months trying to wreak revenge in

the guise of a novel.

The reputed love affair that I've been conducting with Lionel Heathcote is a

complete sham.

My dearest friend, being very patient

and exceedingly kind, agreed to pose publicly as my lover. It was just

a pathetic attempt on my part to save face after I got dumped.

Holy shit.

Sorry about that man, you just sorta took off on me there.

My husband hogs a remote.

This way I can control it.

Foolish and humiliated. I decided... Hey, change that bed for a second.

No. Please, come on. No!

Just give me the damn thing.

You can't have everything you want, boy. Why divulge now on national television?

Why take the risk?

Because life's too short to cower in the shadows.

It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not.

Holy shit. I like to memorize quotes.

and impress people by spouting them at opportune moments. It's a pretentious

game I'm very good at.

Stop the bus!

You're very good at a lot of things. Stop the bus, man! Ah!

Ah! Holy shit, what was that?

What was that? Jesus Christ! I'm fucking blind, you old boo! That was me!

Stop the bus!

Fucking asshole!

Fuck!

Hello?

Patrick?

Hello?

Scott, I love you, fucking bitch! I'm gonna take the living shit out of you!

Oh, and you know one other thing? I don't actually play that piano.

It's really just a very expensive plant stand.

Like, even that's not entirely true. I mean, I know one song.

Would you play it for us? And recklessly exhibit my deficiencies on national

television?

Sure. Why not?

Uh... You made me love you.

I didn't want to do it.

I didn't...

Oh, buddy, thank you.

Oh, thanks, man. I need to get... What are you doing?

Jackie? Jackie.

Hey. Oh, hey.

That's it. Hey.

Danny stopped payment on his check. Oh, really? What a surprise.

And how many times have I asked you about the book, about this tonight?

Huh?

I could have got you out of this.

Nice to see you. Thanks for coming.

You didn't have to humiliate yourself in front of an international audience.

I mean, what are you going to read now?

This place is crawling.

It's crawling with writers, with journalists.

You should get sick.

Jackie, get sick right here, right now. Suzanne, it's going to be fine.

Hey.

Hey, hey, that's it, hey?

My lead pulls out, my financing crashes, you and I had a deal and you sabotage

me? I take it Lupe wasn't impressed with the stab?

I did well on video.

I am so gonna sue your ass.

Lenny, what goes around comes around.

Did you?

Oh, you did good.

Thanks.

Since 1921, Penn International has come to the aid of writers around the world

who've been imprisoned and punished for expressing their opinions.

And I'd like to thank you all tonight for your generous support and for coming

out, especially in this weather.

And now, without further ado...

I would like to introduce to you my oldest and dearest friend, a woman truly

of the free world and one who understands how it feels to express her

opinions. Ladies and gentlemen, my friend, Jackie York.

Got my invitation here. As you know, I was invited here this evening to read

from my new novel.

Now, if you happen to see the interview on television tonight, you might think

that I don't actually have one to read from.

But I do.

It is the beginning of a work in progress, and I would like to share it

with you.

Henry ran himself a bath and padded naked to the kitchen.

to get the toaster.

Henry was depressed, depressed and in love.

The girl couldn't have been more than 19.

She sold freshly squeezed juice in the labyrinth. below the skyscraper where

Henry had his law office.

Excuse me. Yeah?

Excuse me.

All day long, she stood in a giant fiberglass orange underneath the ground.

Henry would descend twice, sometimes thrice a day, and they would chat while

she prepared his drink.

Truth be told, all that citrus was killing his bladder, but it was worth

it. Her eyes were big and sad.

She wore a silver ring on her thumb and an expression that said, I know

something you don't.

He knew that if he asked, She would probably go out with him.

Stop it, he thought.

It's ridiculous.

Embarrassing. He surveyed his bald spot. He thought about his 42 years and about

how his friends would laugh and whisper if he started dating the girl from the

orange.

He plugged the toaster into the socket and stepped into the bath.

But as he watched the elements heat up and glow orange, he was overcome with

the desire to see her one more time.

He stepped out of the bath, carried the toaster back to the kitchen, and made

himself an English muffin.

Ridiculous, he said, between bites, embarrassing.

But Henry was mistaken.

Because love may be many things.

Torturous, mad, blinding, even misguided.

But it's a pure thing.

Like art, like music, it connects us.

brings us closer to the meaning of it all, closer to God, and it is never

ridiculous, never embarrassing.

Thank you.

Patrick? Oh, my God.

It's okay, ma'am. What the hell are you doing?

No, this happens to be my date.

Sorry, man.

Are you all right?

Yeah, never better.

I think you saw the show.

Yeah.

Yeah, I liked it a lot.

You didn't think it was too schmaltzy? No, I think you were very brave to go

with a happy ending. I mean, it's just not done these days.

Hey, now you tell me.

Hey,

you know what the word special means?

I don't know for sure.

So where I'm gonna go from here, no.

No, I don't know.

I don't know.

But who knows that I love you so Don't know, don't know

But who knows that I love you so

My dear

Know that I'm there for you

My dear

so wonderful so lovely

this time it's like an everlasting shadow

I've seen you now about the fourth time, baby But you know that I got nothing to

say It's so charming to look at your face Put your eyes and find something I

just can't do now I've been around and by your heart I'm looking for you just

to shed some light on my day Feels like ages since I've been on your way I've

been caught up with a handful of new sensations I hear you calling

Calling for me out in the night.

But it's all bad.

And I know that.

I've seen you now about the fifth time, baby. But you know that I got nothing to

say. It's so charming to look on your face. With your eyes and light and

something I just can't do now.

I've been around, I'm by your heart. I'm looking for you just to show some light

on my day.

Feels like ages since I've been out your way I've been caught up with a handful

of new sensations I hear you calling Calling for me out in the

night But it's all about

for me out in the night but it's all