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My Problems

Presents

Cinematography by

Music by Kalle Holmbom

My Troubles With Comics

A film by Simon Gärdenfors

My name is Simon Gärdenfors.

I am 43 years old and work in the entertainment industry.

I've created comics,

made music,

and worked with comedy in various forms.

This is my apartment.

I collect candy packaging, plastic figures, and other things I find neat.

For breakfast, I usually eat chocolate pudding.

With it, I drink instant coffee and soft drinks.

Every morning, Monday through Friday, I do seventy push-ups,

seventy sit-ups, and mixed back exercises.

After that, I play one game of Pac-Man.

My high score is 163,940 points.

I think that I'm in good shape for the Swedish Pac-Man championship next year.

I write one joke every day.

Today, I have had this routine for 3,320 days.

Most of the comics I've created are autobiographical

but I have also made some purely comedic stuff.

When I joked about pedophilia in comic books and gag cartoons, nobody cared.

When I made some songs with the same kind of humor a few years later

people cared too much.

I grew up in Hjärup.

A small town in Skåne that had a population of around four thousand in the 1980s.

A bad thing about Hjärup was that there wasn't a lot to do there,

and that the boredom led to an unusually high suicide rate.

A good thing was the kiosk that offered a relatively wide range of candy and comic books.

This is me as a child.

Iggy was the only one I knew who also made comics.

We were inseparable and we continued to draw together for quite some time.

And there's nothing left of your grant?

This is Fredrik Jonsson, owner of the comics publishing company Lystring.

In 2012 I was there to pitch a new project.

A new graphic novel?

Yes. Did I tell you about that?

No.

It's about me attempting to become a comedian.

About me diving into the world of stand-up comedy,

attempting to become a famous comedian,

then I'll make an autobiographical graphic novel about it.

Mmm.

And the more I fail, the better the book will become.

Because, you would rather read about a guy who

pathetically attempts to become a stand-up comedian,

rather than some guy who just keeps succeeding, right?

Smart! Either way, you're winning.

Yes! My plan is to start a podcast,

where I can interview some comedians

and get some connections in the industry,

find people to collaborate with, and so on.

Sure, absolutely.

Consent, respect...

extremely important things.

But...

What I find even more important is to

respect that people have different opinions.

Which I usually tell rape victims.

Do you get a lot of criticism for your lyrics and such?

People have opinions. That's life.

Always will be.

But I usually answer them like this:

If you can't take a joke. If you can't take a simple joke

that upholds patriarchal structures and by extension

puts women in real danger of being abused

and of being exposed to serious sexual assault and such, huh?

Then you don't have a sense of humor.

This is Anton Magnusson, also known as Mr Cool.

He is a rapper that frequently uses vulgar comedy in his lyrics.

I assume you don't believe comedy has to be punching up?

Yeah, well... If I put it this way:

Me - Swedish-born, white.

Of high status, so to speak.

I wouldn't joke about

disabled people or blacks or other

subhumans.

No, but in all seriousness,

within art nothing is right or wrong, instead

something that I believe is right, you can believe to be wrong.

Kind of like in court,

where it is often a case of "my word against theirs".

What I believe to be true

isn't necessarily the beliefs of my victims.

And with those words we conclude this week's episode of Archive Conversation Podcast.

My name is Simon Gärdenfors.

And I am Mr Cool.

Complete conversation.

I heard your song "Burning paper",

that you made.

- It's pretty damn good. - Thanks!

I really like it.

Do you still rap?

No, not really.

Mostly I draw comics. I don't rap as much, I'm almost 40.

Oh yeah, that's right.

To be a rapper in his forties is kind of like being a woman in her forties.

You... You are one...

But almost no one wants anything to do with you.

To be a guy is more like being into heavy metal.

It's equally pathetic regardless of age.

That's right.

But I like the performance aspect of it, with the crowd and all that,

so I've been thinking about trying stand-up.

Have you tried it?

No, I've never tried stand-up, but

I've done some battle rap, as you know.

And people told me that my

battle rap style is somewhat "standup-ish".

So I would probably be a natural at stand-up.

We could try stand-up if you want to,

we could try doing it together sometime.

My husband told me,

"Having sex with you is like an American movie."

Oh, I thought, Dirty Dancing?

"No...

The Big Sleep".

When I was young I just wanted to be older.

But now that I'm older...

I just want to die.

They say that a car can function as so-called penis extender,

like, that a big and flashy car can compensate for having a small dick.

"Okay", I thought to myself.

Is that why black men

never own cars?

In the north of Sweden, where I come from,

when you order a cup of coffee, you get a cup of coffee.

But here, in Stockholm, when you order a cup of coffee,

they ask "Would you like a Frappuccino, would you like an Americano,

would you like a Macchiato?"

Me, I would just like a cup of coffee!

That probably wasn't our target audience.

No.

That fucking northerner, god damn it.

He got more laughs than me with 100% family friendly material.

I don't think I would have found him funny even if he made vulgar jokes.

Well, imagine him making the same jokes with vulgar elements.

That probably would have been funnier.

Like if he had said like:

"In the north, when you order a whore, you get a whore.

But here, in Stockholm,

when you order a whore

they ask:

Would you like an old hag? Would you like an animal?

Would you like a small child?

Me, I would just like to fuck somebody in the ass!"

That was funnier.

Would you like to feature on my new album?

Yes, of course I would.

What kind of song did you have in mind?

A song.

A regular song?

I have some punchlines written down.

Mostly pedo stuff.

"Flexin' skills at sex with kids" for example.

Nice!

Yeah, that could be the name of the song.

And we could write sixteen bars each about sex with kids,

then we invite a third rapper, and we'll have enough material for an entire song.

I don't know who to ask though.

What about Armann Hreinsson?

Yes.

Kids are like adults.

The only thing on their mind all day long is intercourse.

If I'm not supposed to fuck a kid,

Why am I doing it, seven days a week, huh?

These days you're seen as a pedophile, just because the cops found evidence

in your cell phone.

Research from Congo proves that it cures AIDS.

But Big Pharma claims that it is fake.

Who's gonna hear you whine?

You are only a little child.

I am a grown man with connections everywhere.

Ay! Ay! Ay!

Damn, this is fire!

Right?

But people probably won't get the "Flexin' skills" stuff.

Right.

Couldn't we just call it "Sex with Kids"?

Sure, that's even more stupid.

So I featured on Anton's album.

We kept doing stand-up and started getting booked in clubs all over the country.

Give it up for tonight's comedians: Anton Magnusson and Simon Gärdenfors!

Excellent show tonight.

I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

Thanks!

And I love your new album.

Did you get any shit after releasing it?

No, not really.

More mid...

I almost feel that the reaction is too small.

We recorded a new song in English where the chorus goes like:

"Rape the new-born baby,

rape the new-born baby dance".

If we're lucky it could become an international scandal.

When is it released?

We'll release it as soon as we're finished with the music video.

Jokes 2015

Jokes 2016

Jokes 2017

Jokes 2018

Fuck!

Have you seen the comments on Anton's Instagram?

Yes, people seem to have noticed the "Sex with Kids"-song...

Shit, now there are over two hundred comments!

Yeah, now they're pissed.

This is Albin Olsson,

a comedian who in a short time has become one of my closest collaborators.

It seems they want the song to be removed from Spotify.

Mmm.

They seem to be trying to start a witch hunt or something.

Someone tagged me in a comment.

"What is your opinion on your friend and colleague Anton Magnusson and his lyrics?"

Don't they realize that you're featured on the song?

No, I'm answering:

"I think it's wrong to joke about pedophilia.

I'm shocked and I don't want to be associated."

Listen to this one:

"Disgusting to 'joke' about child abuse. Bleh!"

"Bleh"?

Yeah.

Someone is writing:

"But

Simon

aren't you at least as involved

I mean, you're singing the most explicit parts of the song.

What were you thinking here?"

I'm answering:

"Damn.

Busted."

When some of the country's most famous influencers started flaming us

about the song, it grew into a massive pile-on.

Thousands of people joined the rampage on social media.

TV, radio, and newspapers reported on the debate.

Oh well, this will probably blow over in a couple of days.

I'm thinking next week people will have found something new to be angry about.

Mmm.

So, to keep the attention

aimed at you guys for as long as possible, you'll need to be strategic.

You should make a public announcement in media apologizing for your vulgar jokes.

And then as everything starts to calm down

you make another announcement admitting

to having raped an infant for real.

Not even my own mother liked the song.

How do you think I feel when people ask if it is my son

that made that awful song?

I don't know.

It's impossible for everyone to have the same sense of humor.

Yeah well, I do think it's wrong that you are being threatened and harassed.

But in all honesty, I have to say that I do find that song disgusting.

You don't "have" to say that.

There are a lot of people who say they want to

"stand up for free speech", that also feel the need

to say that they personally don't appreciate the song.

Yeah well, one does have the right to say it.

Sure, one has the right to say it, but it's still mean.

It's like saying, "I think the holocaust was terrible

but I just have to say that personally I don't appreciate the Jews.

Personally I find them disgusting."

Like, both of my parents got pretty upset, but

I feel like they are also a bit proud because of the status I get

by being exposed more in the media and all that.

How?

Imagine if my mother found one of my porno magazines under my bed when I was a teenager,

and then she looks through it and notices that

"Ah Simon, well at least he's the editor of this stroke mag".

My mom says that what's offensive about the song is that it creates an image in your head

of some poor little child and three grown men with large penises.

Which I find really unfair,

given that none of us

mentioned anything about cock sizes.

Have you spoken to Anton lately?

Nope, he seems to have isolated himself completely in Trelleborg at his parents' house.

He is getting a lot of threats these days.

I'm getting some as well, but I think he is getting,

like, ten times more than me.

At least he said he'd be joining us for the Funny Fuckup tour

so we'll probably meet him in Gothenburg in any case.

Mmm. I hope so.

Well done everybody!

Unfortunately the show in Helsingborg tomorrow, at Charles Dickens, has been cancelled.

Why?

Seemingly because some of you guys made some kind of disgusting song.

Motherfucker.

Most of the venues cancelled, but I'm working on finding new ones.

So, what are you going to do now?

I'm going home, I think.

Home to Ramona!

Mmm.

She'll probably be happy if I get home a bit earlier.

Mmm, you do have a girlfriend.

I don't.

So I'm staying in Gothenburg.

Alright, what are you going to do?

I've been flirting a bit on Instagram with a girl

who makes cool art stuff.

She wrote, "Tell me if you're ever in Gothenburg".

- Well, cheers! - Yeah!

Nice to meet you. Finally.

Likewise.

Simon Gärdenfors

everyone hates you now.

Who was that?

I actually have no idea. Although...

I assume it's related to the witch hunt, maybe you heard about it?

No, tell me?

I made a song with some friends where we joked about pedophilia.

Okay

and then what happened?

Actually she summed it up pretty well.

Everyone hates me now.

And how did she react?

Well, she likes that kind of humor so it went really well.

We're already a couple.

Congrats, congrats.

Thank you very much.

Have you followed the witch hunt lately?

No, I haven't.

I try to avoid it.

It kind of feels like it has started to work in our favor a bit now.

There are some columnists who have written articles defending us.

Well, that might be good, right?

Also we've got some interview requests,

and I think it would be pretty good for us if we made an appearance in the media.

Well, I'm not really up for it, but if you want to be interviewed

go right ahead.

Fuck!

- Are you ready? - Yes!

- Then let's start! - Mmm.

You and Anton Magnusson have previously stated:

"We made the song to make more

people feel confident about committing sexually abusive acts against children.

If we're able to get a single person to sexually exploit a child that otherwise wouldn't have,

it would be well worth all the time and effort we spent.

The money and fame is just a bonus."

Yeah well, that was a joke.

Obvious satire, as it were.

A lot of those who defend the song say that

Mr Cool is just a character played by Anton Magnusson.

That's correct.

In reality, Anton is a nice guy.

But you're credited in the song under your real name.

Yeah, I think hiding behind an alter ego is a bit cowardly.

I'd rather people think:

"He may be a pedophile, but at least he's not a coward."

Do you have any regard for people who have been subjected to sexual abuse?

I think they should be able to take a joke,

after all, they've been through a lot worse.

Do you think there's anything you shouldn't be allowed to joke about?

Yes, I believe that

in light of the debate surrounding this song

I think we finally have the answer to the question "Can you joke about anything?"

Ok, and what's the answer then?

When you in gruesome detail describe

vile sexual assaults committed against small children

and through the joke, place yourself on the side of the perpetrator,

turning the child into the butt of the joke.

And when met with criticism, you double down and assert that

also in real life, not only in the joke,

you find pedophilia and sexual assault funny and positive

and that it's your opinion

that more gruesome sexual assaults should be committed against children.

At that point I suspect that some may begin to feel

that it's a bit much.

What is your real opinion on sexually abusive crime committed against children?

I am against sexual abuse

but I would rape a child for my right to joke about it.

Simon G! We are rooting for you, just so you know.

The pedo-king!

Did you see the article by Anna Nachman

where she defends you guys?

Yeah, I've read it.

It was very well put, I think.

What, have you switched sides now?

Just because the tides have turned in the media.

What do you mean?

You said before that you found the song disgusting.

Yeah, and well, perhaps I still do,

but there's a certain value to people being

allowed to joke about horrible things as well.

Yes well, I'm just happy that people are starting to get it finally,

so we won't get cancelled all the time.

Are you getting booked again?

Yeah. We have thirty shows booked.

We're selling like crazy actually.

Twice as much as we did on our last tour.

I think a lot of it could be attributed to the witch hunt.

Wanna get a "Hotel arrival"-beer in the hotel bar when we get there?

- A prefixed beer? - A prefixed beer, yeah.

The first sign of alcoholism. Prefixed beers.

Exactly, like the "flight-beer" when you're at the airport.

Yeah.

It starts with running words together, like 'breakfast-beer'.

Then you reach a new level of alcoholism, when you only bother saying "beer".

Exactly, and the next step

is to crack open beer, chug it

and call it just

- "breakfast". - Yeah.

And the last step is you crack open a beer when you wake up

Chug it,

say nothing,

and just stare out into the room.

Then you crack open another one.

The first Swede has now died of the coronavirus.

Mmm!

Do you think it will affect our tour?

Nah. Do you think so?

Well, that's the question, it's spreading like hell in China.

I don't get how it can spread in China.

You know, the Chinese,

they don't shake hands.

They greet each other like:

HAAAA! HO-CHI-HAA!

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooo!

That's how they greet each other over there.

What the fuck...

Three hundred.

Now you're only allowed a crowd of three hundred when performing in public.

Do you usually perform in such large venues?

Not always, but we've nearly sold out the Scala theater in Stockholm.

It has like five or six hundred seats.

I was going to shoot my new stand-up special there.

It's going to look like shit if the room is half empty.

You could work it into your show, you know.

Like this: you enter the stage holding a Corona beer

and say:

"Well, we sure have a bad turnout tonight".

Fifty people.

What the fuck?

Do we need to cancel all our shows now?

I don't know about cancelling...

We'll have to move them to this fall when this has all blown over, hopefully.

That would be the same as if we cancelled and rescheduled.

Sure, but it sounds better if we move it rather than cancel it.

- "Do you want to break up?" - "No, no, no, no."

"I just want to move our relationship to

this fall when this deep crisis we are going through is over."

- "Did you have an abortion?" - "No, no, no."

"I just moved the fetus to the toilet."

Now it's eight people.

OK, but you guys already put the tour on hold, right?

Yeah, but it kind of feels like this covid stuff is going to last for a while.

Like, I don't think we'll be able to do shows this fall either.

What are you going to do instead?

I would like to travel, but now I don't think it'll be possible.

I would've liked that too, really.

I hadn't planned on traveling at all this fall, really, but

I guess that's how the brain works.

It's like in 2014 when bestiality was banned in Sweden.

I hadn't really planned to do that in the fall either.

Do you think the number of rapes will decrease during the pandemic?

I don't, because

most rapes occur at or near the victim's home.

So I think it will have the opposite effect.

However, these will be rough times for blitz rapists.

Yeah.

I feel their pain.

I'm really fed up with this corona business.

Couldn't we just go back to living exactly like we did before the pandemic?

Sure, there will be a few more old people dying, but I guess it's worth it.

Mmm.

We would have to have "the talk" with our older relatives, like when

you break up with somebody.

You tell them: "I can't take it anymore.

I feel like we've drifted apart."

"You... It's not you. It's me... I'm the problem.

I don't feel free.

You are suffocating me.

You're suffocating me, granny."

What are you going to do now that we can't do stand-up anymore?

I was thinking of streaming "Shenmue" on Twitch.

Mmm.

I've heard there is a lot of cash in streaming now.

There's cash in streaming, alright.

I've been playing with the idea of drawing comics again.

Is there cash in drawing comics?

Not really, but Fredrik Jonsson, my publisher,

if I can get a cash advance from him, I can survive off of it.

He's got cash.

Loads of cash.

As I couldn't perform as a comedian anymore, I had to come up with something else.

I came to think of an interesting character from the comics scene.

Maybe he could become the subject for a new graphic novel.

It has been quite some time since I heard anything about DC-Bengan.

Sure, it sounds like it could be pretty fun.

Does it sound "cash advance"-fun?

I'm not sure.

Show me a draft of the manuscript first, then we'll see.

Who is DC-Bengan?

He was the editor of a lot of comic books in the 80s and 90s.

Why would you make a book about him?

He's something of a mythical character.

Like, he seems to be sexually attracted to very young boys.

And he organized comic book themed summer camps in the 80s, for teenagers.

Did he assault anyone?

I don't know, like, there are rumors that he did, but

it is hard to say what's true and what's not.

But basically that's what I think the book should be about, me trying to find out

as much as possible about him.

Maybe I'll start by asking the people I know from the comic book world

if they remember anything about DC-Bengan.

In the 80s, he arranged Superboy's Wrestling Camp for young boys.

There was a mom who reported DC-Bengan after her son told her

he had been a bit too intimate in the shower afterwards and had wanted to help scrub him down.

I met him at the book fair in Gothenburg in the early 90s.

We just spoke briefly.

I'm sure he raped.

Well, I was at a publisher's dinner with him a couple of years back.

Then he was there as well, Örjan Fahlbrant who draws Kuno.

He also likes young boys, as you may know.

Naturally they'd joined forces.

But anyway, they had to leave the party early, I remember.

They were going to church.

To check out the boys' choir.

I don't believe there were ever any actual rapes.

You've got to at least give him that.

But when it comes to grey area sexual misconduct...

He was the king.

It seems like everyone has their own story about DC-Bengan

but no one seems to be the primary source.

Where did they hear all these stories then?

Either they don't remember where they heard them, or they heard them from someone else.

And when you ask that person, they say the same thing.

The best would be if you could find DC-Bengan yourself and interview him.

Yeah, that would be great.

But how am I supposed to do that?

I don't get any hits at all when I search for Bengt Bodenmalm on Yellowpages or anything.

I thought you said Iggy and him has had a lot of contact.

That's right, they even went on some kind of date at one time.

Can't you check with him then?

But Iggy hates me nowadays, he hasn't answered when I've called

or texted him for years.

He doesn't like me either.

But he still seems to be friends with Sonja.

I could ask Sonja, I guess, and see if I can get some information from her, but

I'm not exactly giddy about it, since

our relationship didn't exactly end on good terms, so to speak.

What are you talking about? It's just that she broke up with you, right?

That's nothing to be bitter about.

If I had a choice, I wouldn't be bitter.

I don't want to be bitter, but

saying to someone who was dumped that they shouldn't be bitter

is like going up to someone in a wheelchair and tell them:

"You shouldn't be in a wheelchair."

Yeah sure, I get it... I'm actually a bit like that as well,

I can't masturbate fantasizing about women who dumped me,

it just gets too sad

if the girls in my masturbation fantasies don't even want me.

Well fuck it, I could probably talk to Sonja by now.

I have a new girlfriend, anyway. It shouldn't be a problem.

Look at this! They have some of your books here.

I don't know if that's a good thing, though...

It would be better if they were sold out like yours.

They've sold really well lately, actually.

Congratulations.

I'm actually doing some research for a new book.

About DC-Bengan.

Nice, that sounds like something I'd like to read.

Right?

Are you in contact with Iggy nowadays?

Yeah. Well, on and off.

I ask because he is the one person I know of who has had the most interactions with DC-Bengan.

So it's likely that he has some stories and such that would be good

for my book.

But I really don't think Iggy would want to help me with this book.

No, I think he's still pretty disappointed in you.

Yeah. I think so too.

But maybe you could talk to Iggy and ask him about DC-Bengan and stuff, and then

you could forward whatever he said to me.

We haven't seen each other in years, Simon, and you...

We've been here for like five minutes and

all you want is to ask me for some favor.

I'm not sure if it's wrong.

Maybe it is, then I'm sorry.

Okay, it's just...

Well, it's just that I thought that maybe you had

realized that you behaved badly and wanted to apologize or something.

Well, I don't know why I would...

Like, what are you getting at?

Ok. So in your mind, you didn't do anything wrong?

Wrong... Well...

I'm not really sure if I believe in right and wrong in that way.

But I was very sad when you broke up.

It wasn't really the best time for self-reflection.

I don't understand what you're talking about.

Like this: I was hurt.

You... You broke up with me.

I was sad, partly because I lost you, but also my ego got hurt really badly.

Okay?

It wasn't really a good time for me to reflect on

whether or not I was a bad person on top of everything.

You'll simply have to figure out what you did wrong and say you're sorry, I guess?

Sure, I'm not really sure where to start, though.

But when she broke up with you, what did she say the reason was then?

She just said she wasn't in love anymore.

But I said, "What do you mean 'in love'?

Nobody is in love".

And that's all she said?

She also said that the relationship wasn't good for either of us.

But...

I said, "What do you mean,

'either of us'?

I'm doing great. We should keep going."

And for how long were you together?

About a year and a half.

Which also seem to be some kind of maximum time limit for being in love.

No, I think you can stay in love longer, though I'm probably a bit of an incurable romantic.

I am somewhat of a curable romantic.

A couple more horrible betrayals would probably have me completely cured.

Why did you get so hurt if you weren't in love?

I probably was still in love though.

I just wasn't smitten anymore.

No, that feeling can pass quickly, that's true.

The difference was that I wanted us to have the bad years together as well.

I kind of wanted to drag it out despite the fact that we had already started to get sick of each other.

You know, ripping a band-aid off quickly

hurts like hell for a second.

However, I wanted to peel the band-aid off so unbelievably slowly

that it would only cause a tiny, tiny amount of pain evenly spread out over the rest of our lives.

Do you think maybe she's angry about you making comics about her?

I've been thinking through a lot of stuff, and

I want to apologize for the comics I made about you.

I understand how that could make you upset.

Why did you have to be so mean about it, though?

Probably because I was trying to get over you.

So I was trying to think of stuff you did that annoyed me, in an attempt to miss you less.

But I couldn't quite find a way to control my anger,

so instead, I started to wind myself up thinking:

"What the fuck, she said this and that...

that bastard

I fucking hate that fucking..."

Like, I didn't want to get so upset, but it was just that I

tried to cheer myself up a bit.

Maybe you could have just thought those things inside your own head instead.

I know. I've realized that now.

I think it's similar to what Hitler felt in a way.

That he actually didn't want to hate the Jews THAT intensely.

He probably just thought that the Jews were the

root cause to all problems in some tiny way,

but he couldn't control his anger,

and then everything went totally sideways.

Basically, everyone runs the risk of letting their hatred out publicly

claiming that some people should end up in some kind of camp.

It's not the best excuse I've heard

but at least it's something, I guess.

In any case, I won't waste my time interviewing Iggy about DC-Bengan,

I think you should just call him and sort this out, whatever the reason may be.

I have tried to call him, but he doesn't answer.

You guys are so childish,

why can't you just talk to each other?

How am I supposed to talk to him if he doesn't answer his phone?

Ok, I know how you can get him to talk.

Like this:

He has been really into the Swedish Pucko Magazine lately.

The Swedish Pucko Magazine? That cruddy old mag.

What happened to his taste in comics?

Hell if I know, but he is totally fixated on it.

And, I mean

you have more connections than he does and he is only missing one issue.

So, if you can get a hold of issue no. 4, 1992 I guarantee he will pick up the phone.

Now I had a way in.

Iggy had agreed to talk about DC-Bengan.

The only question now was how I would get a hold of Swedish Pucko Magazine no. 4, 1992.

So you're going to meet him?

Yeah. I guess I'll have to go to his house since

he doesn't seem to want to leave his apartment.

No I guess so, I was there about ten years ago or something.

Fuck me what a dump!

You two are extremely different.

Your life is meticulously planned out, while he seems to lead some kind of rock star life.

Well at least he has the alcoholism down.

Now the only things missing are the money, the women, and the success.

I think he seems to be living kind of a neat life.

Shuffling around the apartment, wearing sweatpants, eating pizza.

Yeah, that was my first thought as well, that he was a real bon vivant.

But then I realized that he must be depressed.

There's a fine line between clinical depression and truly enjoying life.

Take a seat!

- I don't know... - Don't you want to sit beside that thing or what?

No, preferably not.

Having a toilet roll at the ready is only awkward until you reach a certain age

because it implies that you've been jerking off.

But when you're past 40, you keep it on display

to give off the impression that you can still get it up.

What's up with you nowadays?

Never felt better.

And even then, I still feel like shit.

I've worked my way up from feeling extremely bad to just feeling like shit.

So clearly, that's progress.

I feel better than ever.

Wanna have an ice-cold assfucker, or what?

Yes, please!

Right. So, you know where to find a Swedish Pucko Magazine no. 4, 1992?

I know how to get hold of it.

And what do you want in return?

I want you to help me with my book about DC-Bengan.

"Help" how?

By telling me your story about DC-Bengan

and by letting me use it in my graphic novel.

You realize I'm not particularly eager to help you, right?

Well yeah, I've understood that you don't want anything to do with me, but

to be honest, I don't really understand why.

Do you feel I've mistreated you in some way?

You've treated me like air and that's even worse.

How do you mean?

Well, when you released your first graphic novel.

It was around that time I realized you didn't see me as a friend,

but some kind of stepping stone in your career, or whatever the hell you want to call it.

That's not true. Like, I did too see you as a friend.

You were my best friend in those days.

Right, and what about the comics you submitted that landed you the book deal...

Who drew them?

I was completely transparent about the fact that you did the drawing and I did the writing.

You never would have gotten that deal without me.

What happened was that I submitted a few pages that I had written,

And then I also included some pages with examples of how I could draw,

and asked if they wanted to sign me for a book deal.

And like, Fredrik was positive, but I didn't get the deal until the whole book was completed.

But we had been through everything together, ever since we were kids.

Then suddenly you come in contact with a publisher and just leave me outside of everything.

I only did that because... You drew so slowly.

You could spend weeks just finishing a single page.

Yeah, because I didn't want to use the sloppy style you drew with back then.

The John Porcellino-style isn't sloppy, it's just

simple and effective.

Your drawing style is clearly much nicer, but

It's not sustainable - the pace you were working at.

There were long periods you wouldn't draw anything at all, no matter how much I nagged you.

It would have taken you too many years to get a graphic novel done.

It's not sustainable.

There was a real possibility that it wouldn't be finished at all if you

were allowed to take your time on it.

That right there is what I'm talking about.

You have no faith in me.

I could have finished drawing a graphic novel.

Sure, it probably would have taken some time, but you could have waited for me.

So is that why you've been mad at me all this time?

Yeah, but there's more to it.

You had a pretty shitty attitude in general.

It wasn't the fact that you became rich or famous in any significant way,

but it seemed like you started to think that you're better than me.

I felt inferior to you throughout our entire adolescence.

I mean, you were funnier, you drew better, you were

more popular, you got girls and you were more talented.

Then when I released my first graphic novel and got a tiny sliver of attention

it was like you couldn't just let me have that.

That's right, because it was at my expense.

This isn't about me being jealous or stingy.

It's about you becoming a diva who ignored me.

Ok, I'm sorry if you interpreted it like that.

There it is, again.

You can't even apologize for what you did

without some underhand claim that I have misunderstood everything.

Okay, I'm sorry for how I treated you.

I get that you're only saying this because you want something from me.

But sure...

If you're going to play it like that, then I will too.

What are you talking about?

I want the Swedish Pucko Magazine no. 4, 1992.

If you get it for me, well, then I'll tell you everything I know about DC-Bengan.

I've checked with everyone.

It seems to be extremely difficult to get a hold of.

I bet.

Don't you know some people in the Swedish Comics Association?

Sure, more or less voluntarily.

The books they distribute about Swedish comic book history,

through them, the Association has access to all Swedish comic book archives throughout the country.

Yeah, and all issues of the Swedish Pucko Magazine should

be in their warehouse by Skogskyrkogården.

Who is the editor of those books?

Johan Grenfeldt.

If we write him and tell him that we want to write an article about...

well, not the Swedish Pucko Magazine, that would be too suspicious, but

we can tell him that we want to write an article about

the Swedish edition of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Then we will be allowed into the warehouse,

we borrow a few issues of Ninja Turtles entirely legally and I slip the

Swedish Pucko Magazine no. 4, 1992 into my backpack and no one will notice a thing.

You're implying that I will play a part in this.

Yeah, I'll need someone to divert the attention.

But don't you think they will notice that the issue of the Swedish Pucko Magazine

went missing when we were there?

Nah, nobody cares about the Swedish Pucko Magazine except for Iggy.

If they, against all odds, would notice that it's gone at some point in the future,

that won't be for several years, and no one will be able to trace it back to us.

That magazine was titled

Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles when it came to Sweden, right?

Yeah, it was the child-friendly title of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

It's like when you realize "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids"

is the child-friendly version of

"Honey, I Raped the Kids".

Hello! Welcome!

- Thank you very much! - You can put your bag there.

Okay.

So! Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles.

Exactly.

Atlantics titles are over here.

It should be here somewhere.

Shit, Masters of the Universe.

I loved this comic book when I was a kid.

He-Man. Like...

I'm sure they did a lot of good in the fight against evil,

but their names aren't exactly humble.

Right, the manly man and the rulers of the universe.

It doesn't exactly scream humility.

Right, it's like: "Here we are.

Don't mind us.

Nothing to see here.

We're just the rulers of the universe.

Nothing special about us."

The enemies, the Evil Horde, at least they're more honest about it.

Mmm.

They're like: "We call ourselves the Evil Horde.

We are fully aware that we are evil.

But our name suggests that we are both self-aware and that we have some remorse."

Here they are, the Turtles!

Superheroes, would they be considered functionally diverse?

Like Spiderman, he is functionally diverse in his ability to

climb walls and sense danger and things like that.

There's a lot of dust in here, no?

Well, we can't exactly wipe the magazines down with a wet cloth.

There's an issue missing!

Huh?

Yes, I believe so, look at this!

Here it says issue no. 1, 1990.

But I'm pretty sure I've seen a first edition with

a yellow cover.

That's right, there actually is a free version

with another cover, which was made for distribution to toy stores and such.

Simon!

Did you know about the cover?

You should write about that in the article.

Have you seen this cover before?

Or did you only ever see the other one?

I think I've seen both actually.

I checked it out on the comic book wiki. It said there are two variants.

Is the cover the only thing that's different, or what?

We'll borrow every issue from '90 to '92 if that's fine.

Sure, sure.

Did you get it?

Still "Near Mint"?

Somewhere between "Very Good" and "Fine".

So how does it feel?

Some collectors seem to experience a sense of emptiness when their collection is complete.

That feeling is for amateurs.

I haven't felt this harmonious in years.

Do you want a beer, you sick fuck?

Yes, please.

I really like that expression.

"You sick fuck".

It has like a nice feel to it.

"Mom, you sick fuck! Have a beer, for fuck's sake!"

Maybe it's the beer that I like, come to think of it.

Do you drink beer every day?

Yesterday I almost didn't drink anything.

Only like two beers.

Right, but then you were still drinking beer.

I almost don't drink, every day.

I probably would've been drinking more if it wasn't for the hangover.

It's a real damn hassle being hungover.

I have a trick against being hungover.

When you wake up with a hangover, you just start drinking directly

until you're totally shit faced.

And the next time you have a hangover

you do the same thing again and then you repeat the procedure for the rest of your life

until you die and that way you won't need to deal with being hungover.

I call it...

"alcoholism".

So, go on and tell me everything you know about DC-Bengan!

Sure, what do you want me to tell you?

You already know a lot of it.

I guess, but start from the beginning. I may have missed some details.

All right, I guess it started with the DC-club.

I was really into DC back then.

Batman, Justice League, and all that.

And that's when you first heard about DC-Bengan?

In those comic books, I mean? The DC-club columns?

Well, it was the reader's letters and

the letter columns and

it was the news articles about the US editions and such.

And then he was the

editor at Probe Publishing in the 80s and 90s.

That's when I started publishing the DC-devotee.

Which mostly consisted of translations I'd made from pages of DC World,

the American fanzine, which of course I didn't disclose.

Anyway, so I sent

all issues of the fanzine to DC-Bengan.

And got encouraging letters back after which he started doing some ads, free of charge,

in the DC-club column of his comic books.

And I got so many orders that

DC-Bengan started to handle the publication.

I did the layouts, wrote the articles and he printed them

and sent them out to the people who had ordered.

Then there was this time when I had went up to Stockholm with my parents on holiday,

when I was able to meet up with DC-Bengan.

How old were you at the time?

Like seventeen or eighteen or something.

We went to Probe Publishing's editorial office.

They had a room that was completely stacked

with all DC comic books that had been released in Sweden over the last few years.

He let me take whatever I wanted.

Then while DC-Bengan went to the toilet, Korak-Niklas warned me.

You know that Bengt likes young boys, right?

After that, we are at some restaurant on Söder

with a comic book theme.

We talked about this and that, had some fun, and then

he drove me back to the hotel where I stayed with my parents.

Okay, so... he never tried anything?

I was quite clear about having a girlfriend.

I showed him photos and everything.

And that's all?

Yeah.

We continued to exchange letters after that, mostly about the DC-devotee.

You could say we became friends, more or less.

And if he's flirting with young boys, it's no big deal.

I hold no prejudices.

You hold no prejudices?

Not even against fat people?

All I said is that I'm a little scared of fat people.

I mean, they have no limits.

They have nothing to lose, you know.

Did you hear any of the rumors about DC-Bengan?

Like the Superboy's wrestling camp stuff, for example.

Sure, I've heard some rumors, but I

didn't think they sounded too bad.

What rumors?

Well, that he was a bit handsy.

I'm more into the thought of legalizing it.

Rape feels like it's wrong, but being a bit handsy

maybe that should be legal.

And what's more, they were boys.

It'd be worse if they were girls. Girls are part of a more vulnerable social group.

But boys, they can handle it.

Maybe they get a bit traumatized, but

everything comes with a price.

He seems to have vanished completely from the comic book industry since the 90s.

Yeah, he moved to Belgium. I think he met a guy there.

How old was the guy?

No idea.

We didn't have a lot of contact after that.

But he sent me his new address in Belgium

at which point he had changed his last name.

Hi!

I know his new name. Bengt Swarte.

S-w-a-r-t-e.

So he changed his name, then?

That doesn't exactly lower my suspicions of him being guilty of something.

Right, usually they do that in prison, the criminals.

Like the Golden State Killer.

That's right, he changed his name to

the East Area Rapist.

Bengt Swarte...

He lives in Farsta!

- Really? - Yes!

There's only one Bengt Swarte listed in all of Sweden

and he was born in 1958, so it's got to be him.

Damn!

How can I get a hold of him?

I can't just write to him and say like:

"I'm making a graphic novel about you where we have a deep talk about all the rumors of pedophilia."

Pull the same trick we did at the warehouse.

Say you're going to write an article for the books on Swedish comic book history

and pick something he was involved in.

He was the editor for Legion of Super-Heroes, right?

Yes, he was. That's perfect.

Establish a contact and then slowly work your way to what you're really interested in.

Probably not entirely different from how he works young boys.

"Hello Simon!

It's good to hear that there are people who still care about Legion of Super-Heroes.

I've kept my distance from the comic book industry for many years

mostly due to some bad experiences of how publishers treat their employees.

I don't want anything to do with the Swedish Comics Association

and I would rather not contribute to their books.

But I have read some of your graphic novels and I like them.

Especially "Dead friend".

I'm open to grabbing a beer or a coffee and chat for a bit.

We can talk about Legion of Super-Heroes, as long as you don't use me as a source in your article.

Kind regards, Bengt."

We'll have another one, right?

Sure, I'd like that.

I always drink Belgian beer here, but when I was in Belgium, I only drank pale lagers.

I have no idea why it turned out like that.

When did you live in Belgium?

I lived there for almost 20 years.

I moved to Antwerp in '92.

I met a guy there.

You know I'm gay, right?

Well, I...

It's fine. There are a lot of rumors going around about me, so

I am really just happy that someone from the comics world

contacted me and wanted to hang out a little.

Most people avoid me.

Why do people avoid you?

Because of the rumors.

Which are, basically, all false.

I don't even know what you've heard.

It's just weird.

Well I've basically only heard some...

Ok, ok...

Really though, it doesn't really matter.

Had it happened today things would have been different.

People have much fewer prejudices.

Prejudices about what?

About homosexuality.

I have never committed any crimes.

Sex crimes, that is.

Some people even claimed that I'm a pedophile.

Which really isn't true.

So, you've just had bad luck with these rumors?

I believe I am one of the most honest people in the industry.

When I worked at Probe Publishing, I had a romance with an 18-year-old.

I was completely open about it to my colleagues.

And how old were you?

Like 30, but that doesn't really matter, right?

It was within the legal limits with a good margin.

Was that the youngest person you've dated?

You know what, I'm not entirely comfortable talking about this stuff with people around.

We could continue this at my place if you want.

I live pretty close, near Mariatorget, so it's...

Do you have beer at your place?

Yeah.

Like, fifteen is the legal age limit

but there is also a limit for when people start to think that too large of an age gap is repulsive.

Sure, but don't you think people find it repulsive

that men have sex with each other at all, regardless of any age gap?

Sure, there are those who think that.

Why should I care what people find repulsive?

Nah, that's nothing to care about.

I think it's up to everyone to make up their own mind.

Yeah, I think so too.

And in Sweden, the age limit is fifteen.

It's a democratic decision.

If people have a problem with it, they can always change the law and raise the limit.

But don't you have your own moral limits, so to speak?

Well, now I'm so old that I don't like to mess around with the young ones anymore,

but... morally...

I think it depends on the situation.

I heard a rumor about Superboy's wrestling camp

that one of the moms had reported you after something had happened there.

Yes, there was a mom with opinions.

But...

That boy was over fifteen.

As a matter of fact he turned sixteen

at the camp and, besides, there was no sex involved.

Not even a kiss.

Okay, so what did happen?

I arranged comic book camps in the 80s, for teenagers.

At conference centers with communal showers,

so basically, everybody showered together.

There was nothing weird about it.

Then one day there was just me and the boy in the showers,

and so I lathered him up.

That's all.

It does sound a bit noteworthy, though. Why would you lather him up?

Because we wanted to, I guess.

He asked if he could borrow my shower cream.

"Sure."

And I asked him if I

could help lather him up.

"Sure."

That's all.

But isn't there a law

about position of trust, since he was your student, right?

Well, we didn't have sex, so.

It was...

It really only was the...

The lathering.

The problem, however, was that he told his parents everything.

Then it became this great ruckus, but the police were never involved.

Nothing like that.

Is this the reason why you left the comics world?

Yeah...

Definitely the beginning of the end, anyway.

I mean, he was a nice guy. Like, we got along pretty well.

But was he a pedophile?

No, just gay.

Right, so the rumors weren't true?

Well, you can never be 100% sure, but...

I ran a background check on him

and he hasn't been convicted of anything anyway.

But was he "fruity"?

Mmm, he was fruity.

First of all, he was from Stockholm.

Oh... that makes sense.

Like, a gay man with a Stockholm accent, makes perfect sense.

But a pedophile with a Stockholm accent, makes no sense.

Like, I imagine a pedophile has more of

a rough, hillbilly accent, sort of.

Stockholm accent... Pedophile... Mismatch.

Maybe so.

I'm thinking that if they say something like: "It's the latest fad, kinda.

Shaggin' someone in your family.

It shouldn't necessarily be the oldest kids, either.

It should be... It's the...

The youngest ones you should go after.

That's all the rage."

I don't buy it.

It sounds completely harmless to my ears.

Not the least bit worried.

I would have left my children in your care.

There is no danger.

But if you say it with a southern Swedish accent?

"Come here you disgusting fucking vermin.

I'm going to fuck you to death

and jerk off all over you.

I'm going to wank you dead."

It's much more convincing. Like, people won't doubt that they're dealing with a real pedophile.

But yeah... Did you get started on the book yet or what?

Yeah, at least now I've gathered enough material.

I think I have enough to get started.

So your entire book will only be about

a gay guy?

Well not only, it's the whole thing about

finding DC-Bengan, with all of the rumors,

and with Iggy's story about him,

and my meeting with DC-Bengan.

And he told me about some, like,

borderline misconducts that I think could become pretty intriguing as well.

Borderline misconducts? So, is he a rapist?

Like, does he... has he raped?

I mean, it's possible to rape grown-ups too.

Sure, that's true.

But then there should've been rumors about it.

I haven't heard any such rumors. In that case, well...

No, I believe there has been consent in most of the sexual encounters he has had, more or less.

That's good.

'Cause rapists, like blitz rapists,

don't they try to have sex legally at first?

They should.

Like, imagine a rapist,

he's lurking in some bush.

A girl walks by and he jumps out.

I mean just try! Ask the question!

Try! "Want to fuck?" And if she says no,

then sure,

go ahead with the rape.

Or better yet,

don't rape at all.

When creating a graphic novel, the trick is to establish firm routines.

The alarm is set for 08:20, Monday through Friday.

No snoozing allowed. Get straight out of bed.

I use the energy I have in the morning to draw.

After which, I take a brisk walk.

Mostly to clear my head, to get some exercise and some fresh air.

Then it's back to the drawing board.

If I don't eat TV dinners at home, I eat out.

My favorites are:

crunchy green beans from China! on Ringvägen,

tantan from Ai Ramen Sofia,

korean fried chicken from Nū at Ringens centrum,

and burgers from Funky Chicken Foodtruck.

I draw for about an hour at a time.

Between drawing sessions, I take short breaks.

During which I usually

play pinball at Södra Bar located just a few minutes from my apartment,

check emails and social media,

or play Pac-Man.

On a good day I'll have drawn six panels.

At 6 pm I've finished working for the day.

In the evenings, I dine out,

watch movies,

or have a beer,

no more than two on weekdays.

At 11.30 PM I turn the lights off and try to fall asleep.

The Billiard Palace

How long do you think it'll take before the book's finished?

No idea, really. Right now the main problem is that I'm running out of cash and when I handed in

the storyboard to Fredrik Jonsson he said that it didn't hold up.

So what, you won't get a cash advance?

No, he said he thought something was missing

for him to be willing to put money in the project.

- Here you go! - Thanks.

Did you finish all of the research, by the way?

Well, I've kinda hit a brick wall.

I've asked DC-Bengan all the questions I wanted to.

So what did you think of him?

He had good and bad sides just like everyone else.

But I think I like him, sort of.

He is doing his thing.

His thing is young boys.

Sure, but not like very young boys.

I don't think he's done anything illegal.

I think that the stuff with the comics camps is pretty damn disturbing.

Don't you find it weird that there are so many people working

with youth that have some kind of sexual agenda?

I just take it for granted when it comes to soccer trainers and such.

Take what for granted?

No one would voluntarily spend time freezing at a soccer field with

a blow whistle twice a week for free, unless they think

there's a chance they'll get some action?

In that case maybe we should just lock up anyone supporting extracurricular activities.

Did he say anything off the record that you're not allowed to use in the comic book?

I've never understood the thing with "off the record".

Do people actually believe it won't be repeated, or what?

If someone says like: "Did you murder JFK?"

"No."

"Off the record."

"Yes."

Did you talk about his son?

What son?

The deal was that you would tell me everything you knew about DC-Bengan.

It's impossible to tell everything.

"Then he inhaled.

Then he exhaled. And then he inhaled again."

You know what I mean.

It was a shitty move to omit such an important detail like him having a son.

I felt kinda uncomfortable talking about it.

You don't know how I've been lately.

What do you mean "uncomfortable"?

Just fucking tell me already.

Okay!

I don't know that much.

When I visited Probe Publishing in the 90s DC-Bengan got a phone call

just as we were about to head to the restaurant.

It was his son calling

because their snake had escaped from its terrarium, so he had to go home to deal with it.

Their snake?

That sounds Freudian, almost.

Did you talk to the son?

No, I only saw him in passing.

It was an Asian guy, maybe around fifteen.

Anyway, DC-Bengan went into the house and put the snake back.

I stayed in the car and then we went to the restaurant.

Did he tell you anything about his son?

No. But I didn't ask.

I didn't really care about it back then, as I remember.

Yeah, it really changes the dynamic of the story.

If you come up with a good story about it we can start talking about cash advances.

Well, great.

It does make the whole thing feel more uncomfortable somehow.

Because either DC-Bengan lied,

making it a young lover that Iggy saw.

Or he had an adopted son.

I don't know which is worse.

I don't want to sound prejudiced, but a man who is attracted to young boys, and who adopts a son...

It's not a good look, now is it?

What other options are there?

Could it be a sponsored child, maybe?

Is it legal to sleep with your sponsored child?

Maybe you could call

SOS Children's Villages and ask their standpoint on the issue.

Personally, I would never be able to do something like that.

Having sex with your sponsored child?

It's not that I have a problem sleeping with foreigners, but

I am just too cheap to give away money, regardless of skin color.

Could it have been his biological son?

A gay man having a kid with an Asian woman

That doesn't feel like something DC-Bengan would do, does it?

But those things can change.

My friend Anders thought he was straight at first

but realized he was gay when he was about to

sleep with his first girlfriend and had to, as he put it,

"fold it in".

Or perhaps he had just confused being gay with being impotent.

I think a large number of heterosexual impotent guys

pretend to be gay just because it's easier.

Right, you can always take it up the ass or suck a dick.

You don't need a boner to do that.

Right.

And you get more respect for being gay than for being impotent.

No one thinks that impotent guys are "such a delight" either.

And nobody's championing the rights of the impotent.

There's no "Limp Dick Pride" or anything like that, either.

No.

Maybe you could become gay later in life too.

Yeah, maybe it's similar to how it is with thieves, you don't plan to become one,

but when the opportunity comes along, it just kinda happens.

Opportunity makes the fag.

Stockholm International Comic Festival

Has it changed a lot since the last time I was here?

It's pretty much the same.

But like, there are far less autobiographical comics and more political ones.

I don't really get this contempt people have for politicians, you know. Like...

They are our elected officials after all.

If they didn't want what's best for us, they'd just say so, don't you think?

Although, I have actually become more politically engaged recently.

Really?

Nowadays I care about the environment... animals and...

Even black people.

The LGBTQ scene is becoming a big thing now too.

See that minicomic over there?

It's published by two gay guys.

Do you think it's wrong to be a homosexual?

What?

Of course not.

You lowered your voice when you said "gay guys".

Would you have done that if it had been like this:

"That minicomic is published by two women

and one of them has celiac disease."

Wanna check out the Danes?

Sure.

You Swedes and your "grey area sexual misconduct".

What the fuck even is that?

In Denmark we only commit proper blitz rapes.

And that's all there is to it.

Really brutal sexual assault,

not some "grey area sexual misconduct" like you have here in Sweden.

And your structural racism. What the hell is that?

In Denmark we commit serious hate crimes against defenseless minorities.

Not some "structural racism".

What even is that? Huh?

Wanna try to find some autobiographical minicomics?

That's the only thing you're ever interested in.

Yes, of course.

It's what's interesting, right?

Imagine one of your friends saying:

"I'm about to tell you an interesting anecdote from my life...".

Wouldn't you rather hear that story, than if they go like:

"I'm about to tell you a story about a troll who lived in a mountain made out of parsnips"?

Okay.

Then I would want to hear about the troll.

No, you wouldn't.

Yes I would. Could you tell me some more about it? How did they even build the mountain?

What was it? Parsnips?

What the fuck. Iggy?

Huh?

What is this?

It's Iggy Dahlström's new book "Editor".

Special price today at the fair. 100 kr.

Okay.

Thanks. And he'll be here at 4 PM if you want it signed.

Okay.

Thanks.

Motherfucker!

I had no idea about this.

He's included everything about when he meets DC-Bengan, about his son and even...

There's a whole lot of stuff about you as well.

Yeah, and he drew everything with this sloppy fucking Porcellino style just to beat me to it.

He hasn't exactly put you in a good light either.

What do you mean?

What do you mean, "what do you mean"? You stole my idea.

Oh, so it's your idea to make autobiographical comics, is it?

I'm just telling my story.

You know exactly what you did.

Yes, I have become more like you, which I said I would.

I'm doing what I want. Finally.

And you can go fuck yourself with your opinions about it.

What are you going to do now?

I actually don't know.

Iggy's book has received some good reviews, but I don't think it has sold a lot.

No.

Still, it feels kinda pointless for me to continue with a graphic novel about DC-Bengan in this situation.

Yeah.

How far have you gotten with it?

I have drawn the storyboard,

I have made sketches for a lot of the pages.

Tried to put a few of them in ink.

But I worked with research and the script for almost six months.

Yeah, it's tough.

Maybe you need to turn over a new leaf?

You could always make that graphic novel about your years as a comedian?

After all, that was the whole point from the beginning, wasn't it?

I've started to realize that that idea may have just been an excuse.

How so?

I think deep down I wanted to become a comedian, but didn't have the balls to admit it.

It felt embarrassing,

especially if I would fail at it.

It felt easier just saying I was going to make a graphic novel about trying to become a comedian.

Right.

But now the covid restrictions are starting to ease up a bit so I might be able to start doing stand-up again soon.

So you're letting comics fandom down once again?

Yeah, I guess I will. At least for now.

Maybe I'll return to the comics at some point in the future.

How are you doing tonight?

It's great to be back.

I'm glad all of this seems to be over now.

I've had a really rough time dealing with #MeToo

Written and directed by Simon Gärdenfors