Original subtitles

Smug!

I don't want a cup of tea! Stop pestering me!

Gee whiz.

Obsessive, inventive, and an enthusiastic tea drinker. These were

some of the words I have heard describe him.

It was Arthur's time.

There couldn't be a clearer message from the Creator than a lightning bolt from

heaven. The divine light may have gone out for Arthur, but not on the good work

he did on this earth.

He leaves behind...

loyal wife Jo-Jo-Jo-Joan, devoted son,

and numerous patents still

pending.

Arthur was treasurer of the Amateur Inventors Society, a task he performed

adequately.

Lovely service.

Try and keep busy.

Volunteer. Have you tried speed, Sudoku?

It's very good for the cognitive functions.

Cognitive? The vol-au-vents are in the hall.

What? Oh, come on.

I've just seen another wrinkle.

After the amount of calories that it just burned, this should have melted by

now. I'm sure they weren't there yesterday, and I'm being smothered by

spandex. You should see it. I mean, I love spinning class, but I'd like to get

some results.

Joanie, Joanie, are you there?

Well, how are you holding up?

Yes, I'm all right.

I was gazing at Arthur's coffin, and for a small moment I thought, this is going

to be unbearably moving.

And then the vicar opened his mouth and all emotion went out the window.

A test, would you prefer?

Adequately. I agree, yeah.

Talk about unprepared.

I don't think he even knew who Arthur was.

Well, he didn't. But aren't they supposed to do some research and at

least sound sincere?

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm paying homage to Arthur with a bit of white chocolate.

Are we all feeling?

We all good?

Yeah? Right.

Everyone's warm. I want you to climb that hill.

Everyone up. Let's work.

Good. Let's pull that burn.

Let's hold those butts because nobody likes a snaggy butt on New Day. Well,

why don't you come and take a bite and find out?

All right, ladies. Keep going.

Say hello.

Yeah, I'll be by your side.

Come

with me.

I've brought you some donations.

Let's see.

That's a good trench coat.

It's only been worn once.

That's a lovely shirt.

It's from Savile Row.

You know, in Mayfair.

Has it been cleaned?

Don't be ridiculous.

Do I look like an old bag lady?

Everything's been washed.

Recently?

Within the last three years, it's just been stuck in the back of a wardrobe,

that's all. I suppose we could recycle some of the materials.

Er, don't you want your suitcase?

Oh, no, keep it.

We can't do anything with it.

Somebody might buy it. It's got no wheels.

Nobody's going to buy it. People want wheels nowadays.

Somebody might want it as a prop for theatre or radio.

There was a time when suitcases didn't have wheels.

When we couldn't just wheel things around with gay abandon, you can't just

write things off like that.

You'll be old one day, and then you'll think, I'm an old bag, but I don't need

any wheels.

Would you like to sit down?

No, I'm fine.

Please, it's no bother. No, I'm perfectly capable of standing.

Thank you.

I'd feel happier if you sat down. No, no, no, no, no.

I have queued for nine hours at Wimbledon to get standing tickets on

court number one, only to wait another five hours for Andy and Jamie Murray to

play doubles, and then for it to be rained off, so I'm not afraid of a bit

of standing.

I'll spend my life sitting down.

Oops,

I don't see.

Oh, dearie, dearie me.

Oh, dear.

I warned you.

I'm getting off at the next stop.

Oh. Oh, no. I thought you had a form of brain surgery.

Can you suck strawberries through a straw?

Now, do you know who we are? Do you recognise my voice?

No. Oh, I think we might have lost her. Oh, God. I'm in the next...

Thank you so much.

Well, here you are.

I made you a strawberry trifle.

Really twist.

Let's just get out of here. Nurse Ratched said you could go. I mean,

hospitals, they just give me the creeps. It's official. I've turned into a mad

person who rants at strangers on the bus who are only trying to help. And I

suffer from falls. Look at my medical notes.

Lost footing. Had a fall.

You need to be careful.

I mean, when you're young, you know, you just bounce.

But now we just kind of splat.

Thank you.

Considering almost none of his inventions actually worked, I came to

the conclusion it was his curiosity that drove him.

Oh, you know what you could do? You could turn the shed into a yoga studio.

No. Or I would use it for storing my super-sized freezer.

Arthur worked in it day and night. It probably needs industrial sanitization.

Right. Right. There's no time like the present.

Rubber gloves, girls.

Rubber gloves.

God, what a horrible smell.

Oh, my God.

He wasn't making crystal meth, was he?

Ew!

Oh, I could use this.

For my creme brulee.

This is just like Carl, right?

Typical man.

Nothing clearly could stop him from his life's work.

When Carl left, I remember I needed more than a truckload of incense to get rid

of his man smell.

Ew. What is that?

I have got a good sensitive sense of smell. What? Oh, no, no. Give me a

second. Give me a second.

Petey?

Rudy?

Uh-oh. A wee hint of coconut.

It sounds like a Caribbean cocktail.

Whiskey. No.

Whiskey? Whiskey? He hated whiskey.

No, no, no, I'm taking a drink, babe. I want it.

Now,

you know what it tastes like? Vintage Johnny Walker. Go ahead.

I had no idea he was a closet drinker. Drunk.

Drunk? Drunk.

Okay, listen.

I hereby convene the AGM for the Moonshine Society.

Firstly, apologies.

Arthur, alas, huh?

Otherwise engaged.

He ran a tiny yet well-formed moonshine operation, a task which

he performed adequately.

To Arthur.

Oh, to Arthur. Arthur. Oh, my God.

It's as if he's going to walk through that door at any moment, and I'm going

to tell him for the thousandth time to wipe his muddy boots.

And he tells us off for drinking his fireworks off.

He'd probably want to join in.

Oh, I got an idea. Watch. How about a little, like, how about a little dance?

No, no, stop it. I don't want to embarrass myself.

Okay. Uh-oh.

Oh, God.

Look at this. I used to have pneumatic tits.

And they were really perfectly shaped and, like, spear-like.

And I remember when me not wearing a bra would turn heads.

And now I don't think anyone would even look up.

Now, for what it's worth, you'd turn my head any day. Oh.

I love you. I second that.

But look, I know, I know we're supposed to embrace getting older gracefully, but

it's such a drag, isn't it? Yeah, remember when you'd wake up in the

morning, your body didn't ache, and the lines on your face from the pillow would

vanish in two seconds.

I don't remember exactly when my body gave up, but it was like a gradual

creep, like Japanese knotweed, you know?

Remember when we first met?

We could dance all night.

Oh, it's so much fun.

Youth is wasted on the young.

At least you two have been married.

You didn't miss much.

All men are actually assholes.

It's all I ever wanted.

That is?

Do I really look that bad?

I'll put the kettle on.

Tell the sun to go away.

Oh, my God, Joanie.

You look terrific.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I don't know. I'm really scared easily, but... Wait.

You said the trifle had a wee twist.

Aye. Chantilly could even want that sort of twist.

But most of it's in shorthand, and I could never read his writing. I mean, I

used every three-year plan, and now, I mean... How long do you think this thing

is going to last?

I may need to rethink everything.

Darth, I'm not mentioning anything to you about this.

Look at these puppies.

Can you stop doing that, please? I'm trying to think. I can't. No pains, no

aches, no psyching myself up to stand.

I have a regular heartbeat.

Oh, for goodness sake. You're going to ruin the springs in my settee.

He's bigger than Sodom and Gomorrah!

What are we gonna do?

Find some more!

Go! Go! Go!

That's another three bottles he hid from you. Where's the rest?

God, Joanie, you should have paid more attention.

Maybe, but I found the details so boring.

What he found fascinating was to simply send me to sleep.

So you never heard him say that he discovered the elixir of youth? In a

bottle of scotch?

No.

That makes four.

You think that's it?

Oh, God.

You can't give a puppy a bone and take it away.

No, no. It might last forever.

What if it makes you forget your memories?

Or it may help you remember them better.

Can't get rid of Carl.

Right,

girls.

Let's go out for the day. When?

What? Right now.

She's right.

You're never too old to become young.

I'll find another one.

Very

chic.

I like it.

Excuse me?

The polyester threads.

On trend.

Oh, thanks.

So, what's your poison?

Three cups of tea, please.

That's it.

Tea? How about Awabansha, Bubble, Tomato and Mint, Wrestling Dragon?

Earl Grey, please.

Non-dairy milk.

You don't put milk in Earl Grey.

Don't forget to follow us on Insta for exclusive deals and discounts.

Sorry?

Take a seat. I'll bring one to you.

What do we do?

We soak up the youthful atmosphere.

Do you think we need to get new clothes? Nobody wears this type of floral

anymore. Okay.

What's this?

So three earl grey, no milk, plus kombucha latte on the house.

I'll be over there if you need me, okay?

Fermented tea. What is it with you and fermented stuff?

That's quite nice.

Oh, that's undrinkable.

Think.

Think of all the things that we can do.

We could race around the channel in these baddies. Wash some babes on the

beach in their bikinis. Jump out of planes.

You can do that at any age.

Let's make a list.

Oh.

Say, you always wanted to see if gentlemen prefer bones. Experience tells

me they did anything under 30.

What if it runs out?

Oh, don't overthink it. Shall we just tell people what's going on?

No.

God,

there's so many things I want to do.

What have you got? Start cooking for other people? Get a wee conservatory put

on the back of the house?

Get a wee dog and call it Patch?

Maybe find a husband and have some kids.

But you're rich.

You said anything was possible now.

What have you got?

Visit Vegas, go swimming with dolphins, do nude pottery, find my chakras, go

skinny dipping, try ayahuasca, learn Inuit, and make my ex-husband Carl's

life a living hell.

I'd like to go back to a few of my old haunts.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yeah.

Yeah, yeah. What?

What?

Moving out.

Go, go, go.

Sorry, sorry.

We change back really quickly.

Everything is different. I mean, I think we're going to need a whole new

wardrobe. It's not... just the clothes it's the makeup it's the hair and it's

what about the catch the catchphrases the kids use oh yes that's right the

lingo we're going to have to learn a whole new language really otherwise

we'll end up Looking like a bunch of losers in cashmere sweaters. Well,

actually, I'm kind of partial to cashmere sweaters. Well, you would be.

You know, all we need to do is just blend in and change your mindset and

just be a little more down with the kids.

Why don't you try Facebook or something like that?

Oh, trust me, I've got plenty of books I can bury my face in.

This is my hack for a perfect contoured look that will give you cheekbones you

never knew you had.

now swipe along the forehead bridge of the nose and cheekbones and blend

rubbing it into the skin until it looks completely natural giving you that

amazing sculpted look you've always wanted it's that simple anyone can do it

i love you guys oh no no no

oh he's nice oh no he lives in alaska

like a million diets, trying to look skinny.

And now when I look at my legs, I realise they were actually quite sexy.

They used to weigh us every week at Secretarial College.

No wonder we're so self-loathing. Speak for yourself.

I always thought I was quite bonny.

You are quite bonny.

But now, let's go, girls.

Okay. I'll just have whatever the young people are having.

Oh, okay. So we have landing strip, Hollywood, half strip, full strip,

Brazilian, Chilean. You can also go au naturel. No, really. I even spoke to a

plastic surgeon for advice.

Oh, yeah?

What did they say?

Get everything lifted with full-size implants, facial fillers, fat

injections, and Botox. Oh, my God. What kind of look were you going for?

Frozen grin.

Do you want eyebrow reshaping? Upper lip or sideburns? Oh, keep going.

I have hair sprouting everywhere.

Ever since the menopause, I've become part werewolf.

Well, get going then.

What do you have?

Oh, yeah. I went hardwood floors. I lasered it off years ago. Very painful.

I don't recommend.

However, what is trending right now is a full-on 70s shite pile.

Where'd you go out to have a good time? He says that my friends don't get hit on

by sleazebags.

Huh. And where would I go say if I wanted to be hit on by a sleazebag?

Oh, honey, you come right here.

I guess you need some lessons in self-respect.

What do you identify as?

A woman on the edge.

We're old enough.

We've been here before.

Come back in two years.

Can someone come and cover me, please?

I'm going to need to see some ID.

Oh, I'm sorry, I don't have any.

How old are you?

Have a guess.

19.

I'm 72.

I am 72.

Here you go, honey.

Love to know her secret.

I'm 68.

Go!

Did he hurt when you fell from heaven?

I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk in again?

I'm not a photographer, but I can picture us together.

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Do you have a name, or can I call you Mike? Yes, yes, yes. I mean, no.

Oh, my God!

Shoot my shot. I've got to take my chance.

Hold up for a minute.

Ain't nobody.

End up in the air because we have to this year. No fear. If you win it, what

up?

Yeah, we got this like a panoramic image. If you see how I'm feeling, get

up, get up, get up.

I'll have a white wine spritzer, please.

I can match a drink to a person, and I know you are not a white wine spritzer.

Spare me the spiel. It's been my drink for a very long time.

Okay, here's the spiel. I'll make you a drink. You don't like it, it's on the

house. This place is on fire!

Here I come, burning it up.

We should go. What does it wear us off like last time? Oh, listen, Cinderella,

we're not in your pumpkin time.

We've got to rise up out of the ashes and spread our wings.

That's a lot of mixed metaphors there. Oh, listen up, honey.

Look, I think the DJ's got the heart for Susie. Oh, he's a complete flirt. He

makes eyes at everyone.

Really? This is amazing. What is it?

I made it for your friend.

What's your name?

Charmins. Oh, wait, wait, wait. No, no, you need to know. This woman is my

bestest friend.

Okay, right. He said that I wasn't the woman he married, that I had let myself

go, that I started to look like his mother. Oh, Lynn, that's enough.

Meet my best friend, Joan.

Because I wouldn't be here without her.

And she deserves a chance to live her life again.

Who doesn't, right?

Yeah.

Let's dance.

Bye. Bye.

How come I haven't seen you around here before?

Oh, I don't quite much. Not much? No, it's not my scene.

Fancy a drink?

Go on.

What is that?

Tequila. Fancy one?

Go on, Ned. Right, right, yeah.

Cheers. Oh, sorry.

The last time you did this was 40 years ago

seems like only yesterday Not to me, it doesn't.

It was a different person then.

I was ready to experience it all, you know, fall in love.

And when Carl left me, you know, you really, you picked me up.

And although I was really lonely, you know, I realized not having little

kitties around was okay.

Look at all that grief you get from Robert.

I'll get you some water.

Clubs closed, guys.

Have a safe trip home, yeah?

Yeah. Oh, you have a safe trip home too, sir.

Lind,

we've got to go. Okay.

Come on.

Oh, right.

I'm going to find my friends, I think.

One more?

Sue! Sue!

Suzanne! Have you seen a Scottish girl?

Have you seen someone in a silver, very short, inappropriate dress?

Excuse me!

Did my mum put you up to this?

I didn't want to come here.

You should have left me with my friends.

Find someone your own age.

You his mum?

If only we knew when we were going to change back.

Well, we were here at 11 o'clock and now it's 5am.

Yeah. So it lasts six hours.

Assuming it's the same every time.

Well, I suppose it depends on how much you've drunk.

No, no, girls, girls, just you remember, it lasts.

six hours right right okay well we don't want to have any more embarrassing

moments i'm sure i'm looking even older dj didn't think so oh oh

okay he was not my type all right all right tomorrow we are going

to sherwood forest why sherwood it's somewhere i went to when i was younger

just felt like a different world And that's the top of your bucket list?

Yep. Sure would. Boris, here we come, and look.

No, no, no. I would never drink and drive.

What about skydiving in Vegas?

That's never going to happen. I'm scared of heights.

Oh, you just need some Dutch courage.

Speaking of which, I got it right here.

I've got the glasses.

Just be patient.

Is this even the right way?

We'll be there soon.

I know this area like the back of my hand.

Honestly, I can't do that. I don't like much of your shortcuts. I'm going to die

of starvation.

All the roads have changed since I was last here.

Hey, girls.

Looks like that surfer's on the menu.

Come on.

Well, hello, and welcome to Arepas.

What can I get you?

Him.

I can't help you there, miss. I'm afraid he's gone back to Venezuela.

Oh.

What is all of this? This is Venezuelan street food. And before you accuse me of

cultural appropriation, I'll have you know I'm one quarter Venezuelano.

This arm and my left leg.

Three, um, casupo arpas, please.

Sure. Coming up.

Why don't you try my refried beans? Thank you.

Coriander. Cinnamon.

And is that...? No.

Cool, cool.

Bingo. That's really good.

You're really good.

Here we are.

Two herpas for you.

Thank you.

And one on the house.

Very kind.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

Thank you.

Oh, my God. You're completely like you've chatted up lines about the

coriander, cinnamon.

Cool, cool.

Oh, stop it.

I'm just a little ingredient in RepRT.

Where are you going?

Why are you skipping?

I don't know.

God,

I just feel so good.

Do you know what I fancy doing?

What? Climbing a tree. God, I want a drink.

When you're young, you've got so much time. The world's your oyster.

You don't get a free bus pass.

I'd swap a bus pass any day for a never-ending dose of youthful spirit.

How about a never-ending dose of arsehouse whiskey?

You should get away with so much when you're young, you know? Like, you can

get a dumb tattoo and still look sexy and flirt outrageously without it being

a felony.

You and I have always been so different, haven't we? So...

What is it about Sherwood Forest anyhow?

Oh.

Happy memories.

Not cool.

With Arthur?

Or did you have a fling with little John?

Before Arthur.

I've never told anyone this, but there was a time when it was my...

My happy place all my happy places in any cooking I love any large supermarket

when I'm in there. I'm in here Oh, honey Hey

Johnny

you okay

Excuse me.

Hi.

Sorry,

I'm closing now. Oh, no, no. You see that beautiful young lady over there?

Yeah. Well, this, this, this is her number.

So you call her and don't be a jerk.

I'll come and find you.

Yeah.

He's so cute.

Yeah.

This could be love, Susie.

Thank me later.

Thank you so much. That's sweet of you. There we are.

Thank you. Just what I needed.

I

loved

a man once.

Yeah?

He was a manager at the bank.

I was so young, eager.

Ready to do anything he wanted me to do.

Oh, God.

He was handsome.

Polite? Uh-huh.

He used to wear a pocket square expertly folded in his jacket pocket.

Every lunchtime, we would go into the storeroom and check all the stationery.

Oh, I know what. I bet he showed you his pocket square.

What happened? No, really. Why didn't you marry him?

A bank manager can't be all that bad.

As it turned out, he already had somebody who folded his pocket square.

Married. Typical.

Oh, I'm sorry, Linda.

What are you sorry at me for? No, it's just that... When you were married, I

knew your husband had affairs.

Ex-husband.

And you know what? I don't blame the women either. Not for one moment.

It was him.

He couldn't stop sharing it about...

And trust me, there wasn't that much to shit.

Wait a minute. Why didn't you meet anyone after that?

He broke my heart, I guess.

Oh. Oh, God, you know what? I mean, there are so many advantages to just

being single.

Surely, Carl wasn't all that bad.

Oh, no, no. He was worse.

It was our anniversary, and we were supposed to go to Vegas. You remember my

dream trip.

And Carl and I, you know, we still had something going then, and we were kind

of enjoying each other's company, right?

And I was rushed into the emergency room, and you know, everything that made

me feel like a woman was just like, boom, gone, taken away, like that.

And then guess what? A few days later when I woke up, Carl said, we'll never

get the money back on those tickets. And that was that.

We could never repair after that.

At least Arthur was a good man, right?

Hmm?

Yeah.

Oh.

A text from... Oh, his name's James.

He wants to meet me tomorrow.

Well, that's wonderful.

Oh, no, I can't do that.

He's expecting a young woman.

Right, girls.

What? Oh. We're sharing what's left. Then that's it.

Last order, then.

We need to find some more. I think I'm already hooked, you know what I mean?

But what is the magic ingredient? Ooh.

For leaf clover?

Dead sea salt.

Ooh. Tortoiseshell, tumbleweed, spearmint. Cow's tongue.

Ooh.

Tadpoles. Oh, okay, I got it. Moss.

No, I mean say no. I'm saying wishbone now. No.

It's our Skittles.

We're the magic ingredient.

Cheers.

Knock it back in.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Carl.

Who is it?

I don't know, darling.

I'll be right back.

You know, we could celebrate your birthday and have dinner together.

I mean, the 70s is quite a milestone.

No, thanks.

Oh, here we go.

Hi. And what's that? He's only 50.

Yeah, right.

Oh, come here, baby. I miss you.

You could have resisted. He didn't give me a chance, like a drive-by.

I mean, no man could have avoided that.

Him. No old man.

Look, I'm not being funny, but this ain't funny.

What, are you a kiss-o-gram or what? Oh, me? No, no.

Don't tell me you actually know this woman.

I have never seen this woman before in my life. I think it's about time you

left. My fiancé and I are about to open the champagne.

And then, let me guess, play a strip twister? No.

Oh. You know, honey, this man has an addiction to younger women, so you're in

his... Dangerous ground. Okay.

Bye now. Bye now. Oh, congrats. Congrats.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm not even that old.

How does she know about a naked Twister's outfit?

Come. I waxed in everything.

I'm sorry to disturb you.

I wondered if I could speak to Karen Walters.

I don't know her married name, but does she live in... No.

Thank you anyway.

You're welcome.

Well, I wanted my own restaurant a long time ago.

What do you mean, wanted?

You still can.

Well, I have a very deep distrust of bank managers and I don't think I get

much credit.

You're very wise.

Well, I could walk you through my business plan if you like. It'll take

about two minutes.

I haven't got a clue when I first started my truck.

I'll have to repass them.

Flavor of those peppers was just... Why, thank you. Yeah, you're cute.

Thank you.

So, are you comfortable?

Yes. Do you want me to adjust your seat for you? Oh, no, no, I'm okay. You know,

I could just... Oh, oh, oh!

Oh,

wow.

Is there anything else you want to ask me?

Um... I mean, I'm just here to... Oh.

Oh.

Yes, what gives you the darn right to do that, huh?

Yes? Sorry to disturb you again.

So, you've never heard of her? No.

Karen Walters?

No.

You sure?

Yes, I'm sure. Very sure.

Well, thanks anyway.

Sometimes things are just... just not meant to be.

Right.

Okay, so, full disclosure, and I know this is going to make you run a mile,

but I have to be honest.

You're married.

What? No, well, yes, I was married.

But no, I have a kid, Caleb.

Really? Yeah.

He's six, and I'd run to the ends of the earth for him.

Do you have a fool?

Yeah, I do.

Here's the little boy.

There we go.

He's lovely.

Isn't he?

You know, I have to protect him, and I'm really wary about introducing him to new

people straight away.

So I'd like to feel that you'd be up for meeting him one day.

I'd like to feel that too.

It's a bit different to Venezuela.

A little bit.

Is he yours?

Yeah. No, no, no. This is my parents' place.

That's Cecil. Hello, Cecil.

I've got to go now.

Obviously, this is the six-year-old something, right? I mean, women say

they're cool and I don't hear from them again.

No, I'm cool as a cucumber.

OK.

Look, I am too old and this is just... I'm 24.

Age is just a number, right?

Right. I've just got school. That's all.

Okay. Well, um, see you again.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Bye, then.

Bye, then.

Yeah, bye. Thanks.

Okay.

Cool as a cucumber.

You nearly rumbled me.

Mum, you home?

I'm in here.

Robert.

What a surprise.

Nearly gave me a coronary.

Sorry, I didn't think you'd be in.

Oh, well, I am.

Tea? Coffee?

No, I'm just here to pick up Dad's equipment.

You're not going to use it to bake drugs, are you? No.

I'd like it because it was his. Maybe that didn't cross your mind.

Why does everything have to be a criticism?

I'm sorry that came out wrong.

I know you don't do drugs.

What I meant was... Yeah, get a job, settle down, you know, get a car, find a

career. Do you have any idea what it's like to be young anymore?

Well, actually... With your 60-year mortgages and your jobs for life, the

world's changed a lot since you were my age. Oh, yes, the good old days.

when they wouldn't let a woman have a mortgage without a man.

That's the way the world was.

Everyone just accepted it and got on with their lives.

Right, so you had to get married and have a kid.

That explains a lot.

Robert, just a minute.

When you were little, you were six, I think.

You got a temperature, you were burning up, and then you developed a rash all

over your body. We took you to the hospital and they told us you had

meningitis.

We weren't allowed to be in the same room as you.

All I could do was look through the glass and watch while they pumped your

little body full of antibiotics.

I'd have done anything to have swapped places with you, to have taken your pain

away.

You still have the scar from the cannula on the back of your hand.

I don't remember.

I still have nightmares about that, about trying to reach through the glass

and hold you.

All I have ever wanted to do is protect you.

Who's Karen Walters?

All right, well, I'm going to pick up some of this stuff now, and I'll come

back for the rest of the time.

I agreed to meet Caleb.

Who?

James's son.

There's hardly any left.

How much do you like James?

I actually have feelings for him.

Well, just tell him you're pensionable.

See how interested he'd be in you then with your varicose veins and your

hemorrhoids. You know what you could be? Maybe Caleb's grandmother.

That's not very nice.

I just say it the way it is.

Why didn't Arthur make more of it anyway?

We need a lifetime supply at least.

I still have so many things that I want to do.

Okay, so, uh... Are you absolutely sure?

I know it's a lot for you to take in.

Would you like a glass of water?

I'd rather have a nice large whiskey.

Sorry?

So, I don't... I mean, what is it? What is it that the powers that be are trying

to tell me, huh?

Why don't we get you hooked in with my oncology team?

They will really help you, Linda.

You know what? I just want to say thanks for everything, okay?

See you in the next one.

Thank you.

Tia? Yeah?

You're good at tracking people down online. Can you help me?

Yeah, alright, I'm coming.

I need to find someone.

Happy anniversary.

At least you remembered.

I tried to get one with a meerkat on.

Maybe growing old isn't that bad after all.

Well, I mean, if you could find the right guy.

I think things are going to change for us.

I can feel it deep in my bones.

Oh, she looks great.

Listen, I've only found another bottle. No!

I've entered the joint savings account, sold off all the shares so we can blow

the lot and go to Las Vegas.

Vegas!

Come on, Jasmine.

Catch flies like that here.

I say, we should cancel their memo.

Ta-da.

How did you manage that? I put it in the hole.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, first, you know what I need to do? I

need to pat on my nose.

So, mean back here. Back here. One hour. One hour. Deal.

Deal. Deal. Deal. Okay.

You're saying there are no tickets at any price for tonight's show?

Oh, dear.

You're completely sold out.

Oh,

it feels like a bit of a dream.

I can't believe that we're actually here.

Is it time for a wee dram?

What? Where did you get those?

I acquired them from the limousine.

Oh, yeah.

I don't care for any thank you. No, sorry?

No, I just kind of want to experience this as me.

But it is you.

No, no, no. I mean, it's me now.

I mean, just for this last hurrah. I don't need the whiskey.

It doesn't, like, feel like the real me. I think I'd be happier just being

myself.

Oh, well.

Yeah. Here's to being ourselves.

To the real us.

Okay,

this is our first night here.

Let's party!

Yay!

Great party. Incredible.

You know what? You can almost stand up.

Are you suggesting that I'm vertically challenged?

Yes. Okay, just checking.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Read this for me because I've left my glasses in the room.

Okay, now wait. Okay, it says James wants to do screen time.

Hey, just show him the view.

You're going to love it. He may want to see me.

Just... say you don't know how to use the front and back camera right what

does that mean don't ask me

Be quiet.

Never!

Oh,

Arthur.

This is as impressive as you said it would be.

Did you think I could be so brave, coming out here on my own?

I hope you're looking down right now and enjoying the view.

Who do I have to sweet talk to get tickets for the show tonight?

Oh, I'm afraid when it says sold out, ma'am, it's sold out.

Ah.

Okay. No clocks in here. I don't know if it's the right time for a drink.

Oh, it's always the right time in the world somewhere.

Name's Hal.

Would you do me the pleasure of allowing me to buy you a drink?

Um, I'm Joan, and the drinks are complimentary so the casino can take

advantage of it. Oh, no, no, no. The, uh, house liquor isn't something I'd

recommend. I'd say we go for a double mezcal on the rocks.

Mezcal? Yeah, mezcal.

Heaven in the glass.

Sunshine in the bottle.

Trust me.

Are the house spirits that bad?

Well, I'll let you in on a little secret there, Joan. I call home this joint, and

I know what's in them. Oh.

Tastes more like drain water than Belvedere. So why do you stock it?

Well, it's cheap.

Anyway, nobody much cares.

The only thing they'll remember after losing all their money is to handle her.

Oh, some novel approach to business.

Oh, you might as well go ahead and leave the bar.

What makes you think one won't be enough?

Well, I don't know. You might like the taste and decide to make a night of it.

To you, Jill.

To you? How?

Hold on.

What is that?

Oh, that, my dear, is a scorpion. It gives the mezcal its flavor.

And you expect me to actually drink this?

Well, why the hell not?

Life's about new experiences, Joan.

That's why you came here, to the entertainment capital of the world.

You mean the city of sin.

It's also the wedding capital of the world.

Just the... Don't tell anybody that Nevada also has the highest divorce

rates in America.

See a man there, Joanie.

Married?

I was.

Yeah,

me too.

Quite a few times, as a matter of fact.

You know, my folks, they weren't married for 61 years.

Used to be something I aspired to, but not anymore.

If you did, would you restart the counter each time, or is it

accumulative?

I'm still hoping to enjoy what time I have left with someone special.

Don't you mind getting older?

Oh, I don't know. I see long term, Joan.

When you're young, you only see what's right in front of you.

What do you see now?

I don't know.

Let me take a good look.

I see a beautiful woman who's deciding what to do with the rest of her life.

Someone who's maybe at a crossroads.

Someone who maybe needs to take a breath.

Well, I'll drink to that.

Me too, Jill.

Yes,

every time.

What,

um... What type of person are you attracted to?

Kind. Smart.

Funny and, well, I guess young.

Oh, well, not young.

Oh, now, come on, Joan, sure you are.

No, it's very kind of you to say so. Only someone with a youthful spirit

would take a drink that contained a scorpion with a total stranger and still

be sitting there.

You could meet a 20-year-old who's got a closed mind, isn't going anywhere, but

not you, Joan.

You're open to new things. I think you'll always be young.

Sure was nice meeting you, ma'am.

You too.

I need to see you.

Please FaceTime me right now, James.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm lost.

I don't know if this is my room or yours.

This is my friend's room.

Oh, lie the nimble one. You brought replenishments. Why don't you join

me? As tempting as that sounds, sweetheart, I've got a full body

transformation to organise.

You look like you need this.

A bit of lippy?

At this stage, I think I need a miracle.

You know what?

I've seen you. I've seen you before.

Oh, I know what. At Coco's in London? Yes! Oh, it was!

Oh, stop it. Stop flirting.

Thank you.

What brings you to Vegas? Are you here with your partner?

No, no. I'm on a girl's trip, yeah.

Ooh, a big old girl's trip. Yeah. No holds barred.

Well, no, I mean, we're actually... We're quite dignified, and especially my

friend Joan.

Well, I mean, she thinks she is.

OK,

I'm just gonna... I'm gonna try a little...

Yeah. Stick it, yeah.

Pad it on.

Oh, God, are you kidding?

Yes, nice and glossy.

Glossy? Yes.

Oh, come on.

Look at you, a brand new woman.

Yeah, right, thank you.

Yeah, totally, anyway.

If only, I don't know.

Anyway, yeah.

Are you okay?

I don't know if I am.

I feel like I just spent my whole life wishing things were different.

and i wanted to be something that i wasn't and i finally got what i wanted

and it just still wasn't enough you know i'm starting to think i've just wished

my whole life away it's true you know i mean that clock it's ticking

and there's nothing i can do about it let me wait let me just let me ask you

something okay okay do you love yourself

I've worked hard to learn to. It's part of the job. Okay.

What is your secret for accepting who you are?

There is no secret. We all just have to walk our own path.

Sometimes in stilettos.

Yes.

You know I'm right. See?

Okay. Just remember.

You're in Vegas.

You're with a drag queen in a restroom.

Okay?

Don't mope around.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

All right, okay. Thank you. Thank you for the advice.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you.

Oh!

It's beginner's luck.

I really... I have no idea what I'm doing.

Yeah?

I swear to you, I'm so happy.

What are you watching?

I have over 400 cooking channels and I haven't copied down a single recipe yet.

Why don't you watch?

Well, you still have time and I want to see you.

Oh, this is really interesting.

I'm going to have to take notes on that later.

Oh, shit.

I didn't drink enough.

Sorry?

I have to tell you something.

Yeah, me too, but you go first.

No, you.

OK, well, after my marriage ended, I was really hurt and... Look,

it's been a long time since I've been with anyone.

Me too. A really, really long time.

And you have been blowing a bit hot and cold, you know?

I know you like honesty and that's why I... Oh, I think my battery's going.

I'll call you later.

I was an idiot.

I didn't take enough.

Did you call him back?

Well, why don't you send him some sort of a message?

Am I falling in love?

Well, what do you think, Joanie?

Huh? Joanie?

I fell in love.

Her name was Karen.

Karen Walters.

We met at the lake in Sherwood Forest.

One summer night when everybody had gone, we stayed behind and laid down on

the riverbank and stared up at the sky.

She had quite beautiful auburn hair.

And we lost touch.

She got married.

Nobody talked about it then, only in hushed tones. I thought there was

something wrong with me, but...

Then I met Arthur and I thought, well, I could be happy. He was a good man. Yeah.

He was patient.

No, actually, he wasn't patient, but loving.

OK. Loving. OK.

I don't think we talked enough.

Really talked.

Because I was suppressing a part of myself.

But then I did really love Arthur, so... I love you.

You drunk.

Oh, I don't care. I still love you.

Like a sister.

I mean, we've done so much together over the years. I mean, how could I think of

you as anything else?

And you, wait a minute, Suze.

Oh, hold on a minute.

Can somebody just tell me what's going on here?

I'm a bisexual.

You're like, ladies, I've got it, yes?

Not totally green.

Just because I didn't get married.

It doesn't mean to say that I don't know about love.

Of course not. Well, I also happen to have discovered the secret of life.

Oh, well, come on, tell us. Don't keep us hanging about.

You have to accept who you are.

And believing that I wasn't thin enough or pretty enough or smart enough.

Well, there you are, you see, and I thought I was the only one. I was

exactly the same.

I thought my body, my whole stupid life, and guess what? It thought back.

And I'm not saying that it was my fault, but if I'd just stopped battling with

myself, I would have been so much happier.

But the one thing that has been a constant and never has let me down is

you two. Oh.

Oh, my God. Here's to us. Yes, to friendship.

Friendship.

Friendship. Friendship.

Oh, my God. I love you. Miss Joan. I'm so sorry. I'm not Joan.

I'm Joan.

Your tickets for the late-night show, courtesy of the management.

Oh, thank you so much. You're welcome.

What magic did you use for that?

Don't be silly.

Enjoy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you two better get your asses changed. That's all I got

to say.

It's true.

That's why we always say, whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Well, that's enough from us style icons.

Even you, Canadian tuxedo, double denim, third row, can all see you.

Thank you for supporting this old, but perfectly formed theatre, Off Strip.

And I mean, oooooh.

The only venue with absolutely no bad seats. Isn't that right, sir, sat behind

the palm tree?

It's my absolute pleasure to introduce this next act.

He is the chameleon himself.

It is the one and only boy, George.

Oh, yes. And our maestro couldn't do it without his Golden Girls.

And the little birdie tells me... They're in the house tonight, Golden

Girls! You three Golden Girls, my darling.

It's you, yes.

All of you.

Come on up, ladies.

It is your moment.

Come on up.

Excellent, everyone!

show.

Not like Linda to miss cinnamon pancakes.

Oh, it is not.

Linda, get ready. We are going skydiving. We can't.

Linda! Hello.

Oh, um, could you let us in of a key?

Oh, great.

Great. Thank you.

Linda Why

didn't

she tell us it came back so that we could get prepared Yeah, no, I think she

was telling us and everything she did Never stop living.

But she did stop.

I mean, there may have been something that the doctors could have done. A new

treatment.

She accepted what she heard and who she was.

And in the end, she had fun.

She did that.

We all did.

Dear Arthur, I don't think I will ever be able to thank you enough.

You must be looking down at our recent adventures and having a good laugh.

You have opened my eyes to a life and a person I thought I had lost forever.

You gave me a chance to appreciate the people I have in my life rather than

dwell on those I don't.

I have laid a few ghosts to rest.

Gird your loins!

And done a little haunting of my own.

Here's to us. To friendship.

To friendship.

Oh, please. Oh, my God. But mostly.

I have found the joy and strength to walk my own path.

I will never forget how lucky I've been.

All my love, Linda.

You okay, Mom?

Where were you?

Um... Well, yeah, I just thought I'd wait outside, because I really like

funerals.

Um... I remembered something.

When I was in hospital, uh... Yeah, I might have made this up, but, um... Did

you walk in the room dressed in a spacesuit?

It was PPE.

Well, that's awesome. Mum's an astronaut.

Astronaut?

Talk about setting me up for a fall.

I'm sorry, Mum.

Um... For putting you through... Well, everything.

Well, no, I'm sorry. If I wasn't always the mother I should have been.

I probably made a lot of mistakes.

I hope you can forgive me.

Friends of people.

Making mistakes.

And all the astronauts.

I know you didn't always approve of the way your father and I lived our lives,

but it worked for us.

There was love, and you were very much wanted.

My new girlfriend is a tattoo artist.

How wonderful.

I'm a bisexual.

The thing with the next generation is they always think they've invented

everything.

Okay, Boomer.

I'm sure you can still teach me a few things.

Have you ever thought of getting a tattoo, Mum?

Well, there's a first time for everything.

Hello.

What's happened?

I can't breathe properly.

I can't even face going into the kitchen.

I feel like there's nothing in there for me anymore.

What do you mean?

Is it wrong for me to want to know if James can have feelings for the real me?

When do you want to go?

How about right now?

Just be Susan don't know who Susan is

Hey

Joan

Collins Tina Turner Dolly Parton share all married younger men

Hi. Hello.

You're just in time. My last bit of bean salad.

Oh. You need to be a bit more kind.

Right, OK.

Do I know you?

I can see you're about to close up. I'll go.

Wait.

Your laugh seems familiar.

Really?

Did I serve you last week?

We spent some time in the park. You liked the chimichurri.

I do like chimichurri, but I don't remember seeing them. And we chatted for

a long time over the paella in Winstable. Did we? Yeah.

You were charming.

I was, was I? Yeah.

Right. Look, I should go. I've got to take my son swimming.

OK.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Bye.

Bye.

You dropped this.

Yeah, that's my... Business plan.

How is Caleb?

Look, I had to see you.

Because when you say something, you come from a really good place.

And you always say exactly what you mean.

And I always wanted a boyfriend. And I don't feel lonely when I'm with you.

And when I'm with you, I feel like I can trust you completely.

And I... Oh,

I know, I know. I've got a lot of explaining to do.

But age is just a number, right?

Right.

I like to cook.

Really? Maybe I can teach you something.

I'd like that.

Come on in.

Carpe bloody diem.

Hello? Hello, is that Bjorn?

Yes, that's me. This is Karen Daly's ex-husband,

Henry.

Karen Waters, as you knew.

Hello?

Yes, sorry.

Yes, I'm still here.

Your son Robert contacted me on Facebook.

She's dead, isn't she?

Heavens, no.

She gets confused, but she's very much alive.

She's alive?

I mentioned your name and she was delighted.

And she'd love to see you.

Yes, well, she had a fall.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Was it on a bus?

No, on pavement.

She banged her head.

So there have been a few issues, but she'll be out in a few days once the

swelling has gone down.

Everybody has falls. There's no shame in that.

Now, look, listen, she might not recognise you.

Could be the bump, could be something else, but she talks about you all the

time. Really?

It was a long time ago.

Don't know if I've mentioned it to you, but we have a daughter called Joanie.

Joanie? Yeah.

She's been ever so good. She pops in to see Karen whenever she can. She must

have been...

Such an inspiration.

Now, you should probably go in on your own.

If I were to be there, it might not be helpful.

A clash of past and present might be a bit confusing for her.

So I'll leave you to it.

Have you come to fix the bed?

Do I know you?

You know me better than most.

Aren't you a little bright-eyed to be a nurse?

Everyone in here seems to be so tired.

Could you be a dear and help me with my pillows? Yes.

I want to be a bit more... Upright. Yes.

Oh,

thank you.

Um, could I borrow that glass, ma'am?

My mouth's gone a bit dry. Of course.

Thank you.

Better.

Henry, your ex-husband, he seems very nice.

Oh, yes, he used to be a wonderful bowler, but he had a nasty sprain. His

overarm has never been quite the same again.

Do you play?

What, cricket?

Enthusiastic spectator.

I've been told.

I run in my sleep.

Where'd you go?

Sherwood Forest.

You're a sight for sore eyes, Joanie.

What are you doing here anyway?

Oh, I've missed your laugh.

You haven't changed a bit.

Your eyes, they sparkle just like they did when I first met you.

I'm so glad you've come.

I've been dreaming about our nights by the lake for a long time.

We were lousy secretaries, weren't we? Oh, God, hopeless.

We should have stayed in touch.

You stopped writing.

Well, I got married and we moved.

Same here.

And I'm sorry that we drifted apart.

No room for regrets.

One needs to work out what's important.

Only then can you find peace.

I know.

And that's what I hope I can do before it's too late.

I think you've found it. So do I.

And that's why I'm here.

You make me feel so young.

I'm older now.

Bye.

Are you ready?

As a lover be.

You'd better appreciate this, Linda.

Only she could get us to do something like this.

It feels like we're getting just a wee bit closer to heaven.

I think I'm terrified.

What's life for if you don't just get on and live it?

And thank goodness there's no age limit on us enjoying ourselves.

I'm supposed to be enjoying this?

Oh, God.

Thanks a lot, Linda, for everything.

Right, let's do it. Oh, an extra thanks to Arthur.

To be so sweet, I heard you say that my love was an

addiction.

When we come, our love is strong.

When you're gone, you're gone forever.

You string along, you string along.

Come a, come a, come a, come a, come a comedian.

into pockets and they can't get out.

Stuck in the corner, no room for doubt.

Alligator teeth forms in your bed.

20 years of thinking about what was said.

If there's a ghost chance for a sweet romance, I might stick

around.

Because of all I know, I'm learning

to laugh.

because of all i know i'm

learning to let things go

they

fall into pockets and they can't get out

like I'm 17 everything touching me in a brand

new way hey I love you more today