Original subtitles

What are you talking about?

Do I need to tone it down a notch or what?

Yo, roll the tap, bro.

Well, I mean, look at you. What the fuck is that?

Huh?

What is that?

He's captain of the ship.

Just so you know, I'll go down with you if the ship goes down.

I'm that guy.

Oh, God.

I go down with the captain.

My boy, Blue.

First, let's talk about your driving, right?

Like, where are we? What are we doing?

And where are the girls?

It's a very gloomy day out.

Yeah.

It's a shitty day, bro. So, this is a very bad start. Very bad start to New

Year. The beach ain't it.

Well,

let's go get something to eat. Then we'll figure this out. I like that.

Let's get our...

Let's get some good Good Italian pizza, let's get some good Italian

pizza Some legit like some legit like with pineapples with pineapple suck out

here stop it you guys let's go That's real pizza. Oh, yeah The thick

the thick is the real you know what you know what they have sauce, you know what

they have that Italians don't have Stuff crust pizza, the best pizza in the

world. That's the best Italian pizza in the world. Whoa, what the fuck? Hold on

a minute.

Hold on, hold on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

The fuck is this?

Yeah, yeah, hold up, pull up, pull up.

No,

we're looking for... Do you know a good Italian restaurant around here?

Can I have a berry?

Wow, she's walking faster.

No, no, no. Look, you don't have to be nervous or scared. I'm so sorry. We're

not trying to... We're just trying to ask, do you know a good Italian around

here? Do you have a berry? I'm starving.

This guy thinks he's Italian and he's like... No, thank you.

Don't trust on your berry.

We made you laugh.

It's a fucking grape.

It's a fucking grape, you reader. Do you know any? I don't really know.

Oh, you're not from here.

Oh, do you want to go have like some Italian with us?

No, do you like Italian?

You know, I'm gonna give you a hundred bucks for that I

am going to reward that behavior.

There you go. I'm giving you a hundred bucks Look how quick she's grabbing it.

Well, I look at it like look how quick you're grabbing this

You need money or something?

I mean, I'm on a trip with my girl.

Alright, here, look. There you go. Shit.

I mean, look, you got five minutes?

I'd love to get to know your story and figure out why you need money so bad.

Why?

I got another hundred.

I got another hundred.

Okay. You got five minutes?

Five minutes. Five minutes.

Can I buy a grape for a hundred?

You gotta feed it. Can you feed it to him? Is that bad?

Feed it to him.

Whoa! Good grape.

Here's a hundred. Here, one more, one more, one more.

Another? Yeah, one more. You're eating a fucking other one. What should I do?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Choke on that.

That was abuse.

We have a two channel that we just go around fucking around and you know we

just we just do funny shit like that like make them choke on grapes Yeah, one

time we paid him to figure out how many fucking like eggs he could get in his

mouth Would you believe this guy got like?

15 eggs in his mouth Hard-boiled eggs. He looked like a fucking chipmunk.

I don't believe it with deep-throated eggs Yeah, it's on the tube channel.

We'll try the grapes, but All those grapes in your mouth

But what's your story? What's your name? Um, my name is

shrooms

All right, well that's when the story went south. You can call me Q.

That's when the story went south.

What is it? What do you mean your name is shrooms? Like are you just is that

like incognito? That's just what I go by. Okay, that's her nickname.

Yeah. I got some nicknames.

Yeah, I don't. But yeah, I'm just here on a girl's trip.

Shrooms, like what grows out of the ground, huh?

Yeah, or like in cow shit.

Yeah, cow shit.

Okay, awesome.

Awesome. Yeah. So what's your story? You said you had some girlfriends?

Yeah. So you're not like... No, I actually just got back from the coffee

shop. I was paying bills.

You went to the coffee shop to pay bills? Yeah, because I don't have Wi-Fi

where we're staying.

Oh my God, what kind of shitty ass place? Right?

I was literally like, what is this? The cheapest place possible? And she was

like, yep.

Oh my god, I figured what I guess you can't let her die do the bookings

on that yeah on the travels Wow, that's crazy So what is it like girlfriend

girlfriend like no my friend oh?

What that's not proper Technically right that's that's what you say right what?

Lesbian yeah,

yeah, yeah, so you're not a lesbian I'm not a lesbian, no.

She's not Lebanese.

But I do like girls.

Oh, okay. They're cool.

Oh, nice.

So they're all, like, at your spot. I mean, this is kind of the ghetto area.

So your girlfriend did pick, like, the shitty place.

Well, they trick you. They're like, oh, 5.6 miles from the beach. It doesn't

sound far, but... Oh, gosh.

How old are you, by the way? I'm 19.

Okay. Yeah.

You have ID to prove it?

Just to be safe? I do. In my book bag.

Yeah, no, no. You don't have to, you know. So, yeah. I mean, you look like

you were going to college or something.

That's not in a college book. No? No.

Just traveling. Can I ask you what's in your bag?

Um, and some pajamas.

Oh, pajamas.

Oh, a little one night stand action.

Fucking wake up in someone's house. You have pajamas?

You have pajamas?

I wore the pajamas to the coffee shop.

What?

And then changed and did everything I needed to do there. Oh, gosh.

Sure.

All right. So what are you doing here in Florida?

Um, just my friend isn't from here. Are you a vagabond, like a nomad? No. Do you

just travel? Yeah.

Technically.

You just go places?

Yeah. Cool. Where are you from? I live in a bus. What? I live in a bus.

Really? Yeah.

Wow, so like I just travel but my friend isn't from here either. We're from like

completely opposites So we met here Wow, but did you drive down here? Did you

know I flew here?

How is it like living? Well, how do you shower?

Jim's just like I got ready at the coffee shop. Like I'm you what do you do

for like, what do you do for money?

Um You're not a prostitute. Are you no I just work online

I don't know. I just wanted to use the word prostitute for some reason.

I don't typically walk up to white vans.

No, no, no. Well, we're giving you money for interviews. We have a tube channel.

Yeah.

So being that you don't have a lot, now that's all by choice?

Yeah. You don't want to, you like to live minimum?

Yes, definitely.

Do you play the guitar?

No. Why does that make... I don't know. I just feel like she'd be in her bus

playing the guitar.

Or a flute.

Yeah. I paint.

She paints. Okay. There you go. See, she paints.

All right.

All right. You don't make money off of your art, maybe? You don't try to sell

your art, at least? I used to.

Oh, so that's cool. But now it's more like jewelry.

Oh, so you make jewelry? Yeah. Did you make that? No.

No. I didn't. I wish.

Oh, okay.

Okay. I mean, look.

So, look. One of our things is, would you keep...

$500 cash, or would you give away $1,000 to somebody, to a random stranger?

Pass it to the next.

Right, would you pay it forward? Pay it forward. I like how she's, I think

she's, no, I think you're trying to keep it.

Look at her. She had to think about it all the time.

Well, I'm thinking, I have three here, five more is eight.

So, I mean, that's technically $1,000.

Well, I'm sure your bus has maintenance, right? Yeah. It's not all just gas.

I think you got to pay to park, too, some places, right? Some places, yeah.

With how big it is.

Wow. Yep.

Wow, that's kind of cool. Good for you. Have fun.

Have fun. Yeah, life is only once, right? Yeah, definitely.

Well, I mean, look, that's pretty cool. Do you need a couch?

The couch over there. No.

That could fit right in. Do you need a chicken?

Yeah, look. Were you thinking about that for food?

No, I would never harm an animal.

Are you vegan?

No, but I would never harm an animal.

Oh. Not myself.

Do you have anywhere that like, do you have anywhere that we could like, do you

have like any kind of like campaign set up for like to help you? Like some kind

of like fund me page or something?

No, really?

It could be like help me travel around the world in my bus.

No, you don't have anything like that?

Oh, because we'd like to help you the, you know, here.

We'll start it. We'll start it for you. Yeah, we'll start it. Look, I'm going to

give you $200.

You can put a link on the... In our tube channel. Yeah.

Yeah. Here's $200 just for your journey.

Love your journey.

Love shrooms on our journey.

Thank you. Love your journey, right?

Thank you.

Actually,

actually.

Artistic journey.

I could get, you know what?

Would you consider selling me something for $500?

Like what?

My grapes?

Your grapes?

No, but... Oh, I think I... Yeah, your skirt kind of flew up a little bit.

Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, there's a lot of wind. You're pretty brave wearing that

skirt right now on a windy day. I know. I didn't know it was going to be this

windy. Yeah, it's not usually that windy down here.

But listen, this is going to be kind of crazy.

This might be kind of crazy, okay?

And you can tell me to fuck off and ignore my question and laugh it off if

it's embarrassing, whatever.

But I'll give you $500 for your underwear.

No, thank you.

Are you sure you don't want to hold the money?

No? That's a little weird.

That was weird?

I mean, just guys pulling up and asking for my underwear.

Well, what about if it was like this?

Is this even weirder? That's weirder?

Yeah. That's weirder.

Come on. Give me your underwear. Come on. Come on. Let me have it. Come on.

Let me get your underwear. Come on. Come on. Come on. Let me get it. Put it right

here. Put it right here. Let's go. Come on.

Maybe if I wasn't wearing a skirt.

Huh?

I'm wearing a skirt. So just like show my whole vagina.

I'll give you $1,000.

If you give me a ride to the place I'm staying.

Wait, seriously?

Maybe. Because I don't want to walk in the wind with a skirt with no underwear.

In this neighborhood, too.

Here, can you give me $1,000?

$1,000? Yep.

Wee!

$1,000!

Wee!

Wee!

Can't grab it You

should

play for the All right, so look so we'll definitely give you a ride that we're

not gonna let that stop okay

Yeah, a ride shit hell yeah, they'll say that you don't gotta tell me to ask

twice However that goes So damn all

right hurry up the cops are coming

What whoa that was so fat what the hell wow that just no you guys No,

I

don't know it could still be up high on your side you have it in the

No way how the fuck

We missed it bro. I know you were fucking you were talking shit.

I was looking for your panties I mean a deal's a deal. Thank you

Fucking we pay her to put it back on and then

Is she actually smelling my underwear right now? She's so fun. I love this

girl. She's a fun one. She fed me grapes already. I feel like we have that

connection. You know? Fed me grapes.

You're Italian, though.

Yeah. She doesn't like Italians.

Oh, fuck!

She's Indian-Italian, though.

Yo,

I'm really bummed out that we didn't... Like, part of the process of the

underwear, buying it, is like...

The process of taking it out. I'm sneaky.

What can I say? That's messed up. You played us. Can I buy your skirt?

I'd be naked practically.

Well, that's kind of the point.

It's Florida.

I don't have any extra underwear in my bag.

All right, how about this? How about I'll just give you a thousand bucks to

prove to us you have no underwear. Other words, lift up and show us.

No You can keep your legs closed what

shut up can we work up there?

Well, I don't expect her and maybe she's nervous about like just being all like

blah out there Can

you sit on your butt

Oh, oh, oh.

Wait, I'm not missing this again.

Did she do it? No, she didn't.

Whoa.

She's completely bald.

That was a pretty pussy though.

Was it? Yeah.

What? I took a mental image.

He says you got a pretty pussy. Thank you.

Why is your leg up like that? I feel like you want to show it to us You

showed

us once you would you show us again How about this how about

How about if we take you out? How about you leave with a lot of money, but we

don't have to keep talking about it, huh?

What do you mean?

Well, we're very generous people, but we don't, you know, he's got plenty.

He's got plenty.

But you don't got to worry about it. That's what we're trying to say.

Just have fun.

We have plenty.

Just have fun? What do you mean have fun?

Well, we can just start with just showing you. Look, he said he was

pretty. I just wanted to get him a better, a closer look.

I always ask everyone this from out of town, right? Like, especially girls,

right?

Now, and you're all shaved and shit, so did you plan on showing someone?

No. A lot of girls just like to be... Do you just like to be trimmed like that?

Yes.

I actually get her waxed.

Her? Now you really opened it.

Her?

Well, hopefully it's not a guy. No, but I mean, like, does she have a name?

Kitty. Huh?

Kitty. Kitty?

Kitty.

Shrooms kitty Wow

It's

like a work of art and you're an artist so you can appreciate that

Well,

she's touching it

Well, you guys are admiring it. I figured I could too. Yeah, I know. We're

totally the same. We just watched her. We just looked at her for like two

seconds.

Yeah, yes.

It's pretty. She's so pretty.

Do you ever mold it? You should mold it. Oh my gosh. Or paint it and then like...

How would you do that? I think you could just put like paint like all over your

butt and your pussy and then just like sit on the canvas.

You know?

Sell them. You might be onto something. You know?

Like for big money? I want 10%. Smoking like a true Italian.

I'm just saying, I came up with the idea. Yeah.

Facts. Flush, flush, flush.

He's got allergies. Allergies?

Yeah. Allergies.

It's your vagina. I got this crazy allergy.

It's your vagina. It's allergic.

It's a crazy allergy that makes my dick hard.

What? What?

My allergies?

No. See, a pussy is my allergy.

It makes my dick hard.

Is this a mistake?

Your dick is hard.

Yeah, you want to see it? He'll show it to you.

No? No? Okay, I'll keep it.

I mean, if I tell him to get naked, he'll get naked. Yeah, well, don't tell

her about my problem.

Yeah, he's a recovering... Well, it's not really a new streaker. He's a

recovering streaker.

He used to go around streaking.

Actually, it's called something else when he's a flasher. He was a flasher. I

almost just flashed you guys.

And if I say a certain word, we have a thing that if I say a certain word, he

has to get naked or he gets kicked off the show.

That's an old skit that we used to do. Yeah, we'd be like walking in the mall

doing skits and then I'd be like blah blah and I'd hit the word and he'd be

like fuck and he'd get naked and run across the mall and we'd have to pick

him up before he gets arrested.

That's crazy.

You guys are crazy.

Although I did see you so.

Yeah, you did.

It's only fair.

I can kind of see it. Tractor trailer.

Huh? I can kind of see it.

Well, when you said no, it got smaller. I was all happy before, and then you

said no, and it was like... I'm sorry. It got small on me.

I'm sorry.

Pterodactyl.

That ain't it. You forgot the word?

I said tractor trailer. You didn't hear me.

Pterodactyl? That wasn't the word, bro.

He forgot it. He forgot the word?

That's why he was saying random shit.

Thunderbird That's what I'm saying, no, I know I know she just in there

look at anyways Look

sit next to you take it out.

I want to see your expression

I mean, look, you... Just

don't touch her. Don't touch her.

I mean, her pussy was out. So technically... You have

pretty eyes.

Thank you. She's got beautiful eyes. She's got super pretty eyes.

So... Super pretty eyes.

You ever...

You ever, uh, like, you know, kind of rate, like, restaurants and their food

and stuff like that?

Look, it's jumping for it. Can you... Can you rate his dick?

It's jumping.

Yeah, it's jumping.

It's happy.

Um... So if you saw that dick just alone, without attached to a body, how

old would you think that dick is?

What the fuck?

Relax.

Like, what would, you know, is it like 20 to 30? Is it like 40 to 50?

60 to 65 year old dick? What the fuck?

Are you sure you're looking at it?

The wrinkle miss on the on the ball she said her it lift up the shower

See the wrinkly on the boss.

That's not wrinkly balls. Those are nice balls In her 20s really yeah,

she's sticking with it Now look at his face.

He looks young to me.

That's right. I like this girl.

That must be the eyes. You guys got similar eyes. We do got similar eyes.

Hers are prettier, though. They got different colors on them.

She keeps staring at the dick, though. You keep looking back at the dick. I'm

like, why is it out?

Because he's just chilling.

Why is yours out? Yours is like sitting there. You guys bought my underwear. I

didn't buy his. I'm just free. I'm a free spirit.

Yeah, he's a nudist. Do you like to live in a van? He's not even touching it or

anything. It's just out. Oh, you want him to touch it. I mean, if it's going

to be out. Oh, so she wants you to jerk off in her face.

That's what she wants. There you go. See, now is that what you wanted? If

it's going to be out, you might as well touch it.

Okay. Well shit, why don't you sit right down next to her and just like whack

your meat then.

Whack that old guy.

I'll just jerk that dick right here, baby.

He doesn't look old.

Yeah, well.

If the dick was in his 20s, it'd be hard already.

It was hard. They just said no.

It fucking killed me.

Yeah, and I guess she's just not shy at all with the dick by her face.

Well... You did say you like... Well, you said you like girls. Do you like

guys? Yeah.

I do. So, did you plan on having sex in Florida while you were here visiting?

No. No? Mm-mm. Is that because you haven't met the right guy, or did you

just... What? You didn't... I'm just hanging out with the girls.

Well now that he's jerking off in front of your face, do you want to do

something with it?

Do you want to touch it?

Kind of.

Maybe it'll get harder if you touch it.

Can I?

Yeah, of course.

Grab it with the other hand.

How does it feel?

Would you put it in your mouth?

I want to see your lips

on it.

I kind of want to put my lips on it.

Is this allowed?

How big are y'all?

you can just jump right on it

Put it back in.

feeling like a 20 year old maybe she doesn't like it yeah i know you sure

Get back in there, kid.

Can I fuck you all the time?

Yeah.

Can I meet you on your bus?

I'm done reconsidering. I might live on a bus myself.

tax reform in Atlanta.

Thanks the fuck.

She can't take her eyes off me.

You want to go out later?

Yeah.

In other words, do you want to fuck later again?

Me too.

Me too, baby.

Oh,

shit. I still got it. Making a guy feel young. Making a guy feel young. I still

got it.

You can have anything you want from Tony right now. I know.

Listen, how long are you in town for?

A while.

I think we should find some more stuff for you to do like this. Would you be

willing to do more stuff like this?

If it's that good.

Yeah, I would.

You know, it might even be better.

It might even be better. You never know.

Yeah, no, we have a couple couple guys some of our friends that do the same

thing as me and they're really good, too So I think you'd enjoy them Wow, man,

that was fun to watch. That was awesome But look I do gotta I do gotta drop you

off right here, um if you don't mind Can you get her number for sure

you're gonna get her number No,

no, no put your stuff on Just don't walk close to the water. Put your stuff on.

Yeah, there's probably gators in the water though.

Gators?

Oh, there's one right there.

Just kidding.

Wow.

You gave her all that money, right?

Yeah,

come here.

Here, I'll give it to you right here. You can shut the door.

Here, take this. Did you see that?

What, a duck? I don't know.

Alright, so look, look, look. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You got all your

money, you're good. We got your phone number, right?

Yeah. Alright, so can we call you later and kind of set something else up?

Yeah. Okay, cool. Can you look right here and just tell her, hi, I'm Shrooms

and I just got fucked on the bus?

I'm Shrooms and I just got fucked on the bus.

Bye, I'll see ya.

She's going right to the water. She told her not to. She might fucking walk in at

this point.

Bang, bro.