Original subtitles

Yeah.

Where is he?

I shan't ask you politely next time.

Where is Blofer?

Guards.

Hit me.

One chance.

Where can I find him?

Marie?

Ask Marie?

Who are you?

My name is Bond.

James Bond.

Is there something I can do for you?

Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.

But there is something I'd like you to get off your chest.

Where is Ernst Stavro Blofeld?

Speak up, darling. I can't hear you.

We now come to phase four, the nose.

In my opinion, the most difficult part of a plastic transformation.

I want the operation done tonight.

But, senor... There's no time left.

But, senor Blofeld, this is a most delicate procedure.

It cannot... Tonight!

Keep the temperature at precisely 80 degrees.

You know?

Making mud pies, 007.

He would have been me in a matter of days, if you'd given the poor fellow a

chance.

Such a pity. I was dying to see how the operation turned out.

Get his gun.

Hold it!

Get your hands up.

Welcome to hell, Blofeld.

Diamonds are forever They are all I need to

please me They can stimulate and tease me

They won't leave in the night I've no fear that they might

desert me Diamonds

are forever

Touch it, stroke it and undress it.

I can't see it.

Diamonds are forever Sparkling round my

little finger Unlike men, the diamonds linger

Diamonds are forever, forever, forever.

Diamonds are forever, forever, forever, forever.

And ever.

Rough, 47.5 carats cut.

The Akbar Shah, 116 carats rough.

Are you paying attention, 007? The Akbar Shah, 116 carats rough.

But surely, sir, there's no need to bring in our section on a relatively

simple smuggling matter.

Sir Donald has convinced the PM otherwise.

May I remind you, 007, that Blofeld's dead.

Finished. The least we can expect from you now is a little plain, solid work.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Morning. Sir Donald, we'll see you now.

Thank you.

Good morning, Sir Donald.

This is Commander Bond.

How do you do, Commander Bond?

Yes, sir. Please sit down. Thank you. Sherry? Not for me, thanks.

Doctor's orders.

Commander Bond?

Yes, thank you.

You've been on holiday, I understand.

Relaxing, I hope.

Oh, hardly relaxing, but...

Most satisfying.

Cheers. Cheers.

Pity about your liver, sir. It's an unusually fine solera.

51, I believe.

There is no year for sherry, 007.

I was referring to the original vintage on which the sherry is based, sir.

1851.

Don't mistake it all.

Precisely.

Tell me, Commander...

How far does your expertise extend into the field of diamonds?

Well, how the substance found in nature, the cut glass, suggest marriage. I

suppose I've replaced a dog as a girl's best friend, and that's about it.

Refreshing to hear there's one subject you're not an expert on.

Yes, well, then, perhaps I'd better give you a brief background into our problem.

80% of the world's diamonds come from mines in South Africa.

Most are dug out of shafts of diamond-bearing clay at depths of up to

3,000 feet.

The whole process from start to finish operates under an airtight security

system. It's an essential precaution, even though the industry prides itself

on the loyalty and devotion of its workers.

Naturally, the security measures tend to ensure that loyalty, as do the extensive

amenities and social services we provide.

There's a permanent staff of doctors, nurses, even dentists.

The whole process from start to finish operates under an airtight security

system. It's a necessary precaution, even though the industry prides itself

on the loyalty and devotion of its workers.

Next.

The scorpion.

Mother Nature's finest killer, Mr. Wendt.

One is never too old to learn from a master, Mr. Kidd.

Dr. Tynan, good evening.

Who are you? And where's Joe?

Joe couldn't make it tonight.

I'm Mr. Wint.

This is Mr.

Kidd.

Oh, I see.

What's the matter with him?

It's my wisdom teeth.

I haven't had them out yet.

Would you mind having a look, Doctor?

Of course.

I'm not going to hurt you.

Just open. No, no, no. Open wide.

Curious.

How everyone who touches those diamonds seems to die.

Stop right there. Who are you? Dr.

Tynan sent us.

Why didn't he come himself? He was taken sick.

Bitten by the bug.

He sent this for you.

If God had wanted man to fly... He would have given him wings, Mr. Kidd.

Of course, no security system is perfect. We've always accepted a

percentage of smuggling.

But over the past two years, despite all our precautions, it's gone up

alarmingly. Even more alarming is the fact that none of the stones have

reached the market. So Donald thinks someone's stockpiling them. What

concerns us is the possibility of someone either dumping the stones on the

market to depress prices or... Making you agree to perpetual blackmail.

Exactly.

What we need to know is who the stockpilers are.

The letter U is for umbrella.

We take it lest it rain.

We hope we shan't want it till we're home again.

Two men to see you, missy.

Gentlemen, Joshua.

I shan't be long, children.

Joshua's going to read you a story.

How nice to see you again.

Where to this time?

Amsterdam. Amsterdam.

Oh, how lovely.

I shall have to bring back some pictures of the canals for the children.

Ask, and ye shall receive, Mrs. Whistler.

Thus endeth the lesson for today, gentlemen.

Several recent murders in South Africa have complicated matters.

If they shut down operations before we discover them, it would be catastrophic

for us and for the government.

Well, I've always rather fancied the trip to South Africa.

You're going to Holland?

For some time now, we'd had our eyes on a professional smuggler called Peter

Franks. He's due to leave for Amsterdam.

Do we know who his contacts are?

We do function in your absence, Commander.

A passport, sir.

Ah, Mr. Franks. There's a message for you at Passport Control.

That door over there. You can park your car outside.

Thank you.

Mr. Franks, your passport is quite an order.

Well, anyone seeing you in that outfit, Moneypenny, would most certainly be

discouraged from leaving the country.

What can I bring you back from Holland?

A diamond?

In a ring?

Would you settle for a tulip?

Yes.

It is one of the oldest bridges in Amsterdam, the Skinny Bridge.

It was built over 300 years ago by two sisters who wanted to visit each other

every day.

Unfortunately, they ran out of money, so that is why it is called the Skinny

Bridge.

On your right, those beautiful old houses can be seen in the paintings of

our famous painter Rembrandt.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you will look to your left as we go down the

Amster, you can see...

Oh. Mrs.

Whistler did want some pictures of the canals for the children.

How kind of you, Mr. Kidd.

The children will be so thrilled.

Franks. Peter Franks. Come up, third floor.

Make yourself at home.

I'll be out in a minute.

Is Mr.

Case not at home?

There is no Mr. Case. The tea is for Tiffany.

Tiffany Case?

Definitely distinctive.

I was born there, on the first floor, while my mother was looking for a

wedding ring.

Well, I'm glad for your sake it wasn't Van Cleef and Arpel.

Weren't you a blonde when I came in?

Could be.

I tend to notice little things like that, whether a girl is a blonde or a

brunette. And which do you prefer?

Oh, providing the collars and cuffs match.

We'll talk about that later. Let me have your glass.

I'll get you some ice.

That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve.

I don't dress for the hired help.

Let's see your passport, Franks.

Occupation transport consultant?

It's a little cute, isn't it?

I'll finish dressing.

Oh, please don't. Not on my account.

I don't care much for redheads. Terrible tempers.

But somehow it seems to suit you.

It's my home.

But it is in need of some soft lighting, and I know a little restaurant quite

close. I never mix business with pleasure.

Well, neither do I. Good.

Then we can start by saving the cute remarks until after you get the diamonds

into Los Angeles.

Well, where are they now?

That's not your problem.

Your problem is getting them in.

How much is it?

50,000 carats.

What, 142 carats an ounce? That's an awful lot of ice. That won't be easy.

That's why you're being paid 50 grand.

What did you think it was going to be, a pair of earrings?

And Franks, for God's sakes, come up with something original.

I've got to hand it to you, Q.

Quite ingenious.

Oh, an obvious little notion.

Thought it might come in handy.

Oh, by the way, M's been trying to get in touch with you.

That Peter Franks fellow's escaped.

Killed one of the guards on the way up to London.

Hello?

Hello?

Are you there?

Peter Franks. Third floor.

Guten Abend.

Good evening.

Peter?

You are English?

Yes, I'm English.

I speak English.

Who is your floor?

Three, please.

I sincerely hope so.

Who is he?

No idea. This chap's been following me all day today.

My God.

You just killed James Bond.

Is that who it was?

Well, it just proves no one's indestructible.

You don't kill James Bond and sit around waiting for the cops to arrive.

We've got to get those diamonds out of here and fast.

What are they?

A little old lady dropped them by yesterday morning.

Priceless.

I think we ought to let Mr. Bond carry the load from here on out.

All the things one wanted to say to one's brother when it's all too late.

Let me assure you once again of our deepest condolences.

Would you please board the aircraft?

We were inseparable, you know.

Please, Mr. Franks.

They're both aboard.

I must say, Miss Kay seems quite attractive.

For a lady.

Mr.

Franks? Yes?

Follow me to customs, please.

Peter Franks, Jerry.

Get some lunch, Jerry. I'll take over.

Death certificate, please, Mr. Franks.

Well, well, well.

Felix Leiter, you old fraud.

On behalf of the CIA, welcome to America.

Someone sent their brain trust down to meet you.

I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body, but where?

Elementary, Dr. Lighter.

So long, James.

Keep in touch.

The rest of your luggage has been cleared, Mr. Franks.

Okay, fellas.

Want to sit in the front, Mr. Franks? It's a lot smoother ride in the front,

Mr. Franks.

Yes, I believe I'll sit in front.

The stiff.

Deceased back there.

Your brother, Mr. Franks?

Yes, it was.

I got a brother.

Small world.

Mr. Franks, I'm Morton Slumber.

Please accept my heartfelt condolences at this most difficult hour.

Well, he is heading for a better world, Mr. Slumber.

There is some consolation in that.

Now then, if we're ready to begin the final journey...

May his soul rest in peace. Oh, yes, amen.

If you would care to follow me into my comfortable office, Mr. Franks, we will

bring you the urn.

I'm so happy you chose our half-couch hinge panel slumber on casket.

I'm sure your brother would have appreciated it.

Oh, I'm sure he did.

Please, be seated.

Ashes to ashes.

Dust to dust. Exactly.

At a moment like this, I'm sure you'd rather be left alone for reflection.

Most thoughtful.

So we've selected a private niche for your brother in our garden of

remembrance. It's the one with the restful chartreuse curtains and the

angel's breath gold trim. You can't miss it.

I hope you'll find everything in order.

The arrangements have been impeccable, Mr. Schlumberger.

So far.

Very moving.

Heartwarming, Mr. Wendt. A glowing tribute, Mr. Kidd.

You dirty, double-crossing, limey, fincos, goddamn diamonds are phonies.

Now, don't tell me.

You're St. Peter?

Paste, glass.

Where's the real stuff, Franks? Where's the real money? What do you mean?

You wouldn't burn up 50,000 real dollars now, would you?

One last break, Franks. Where are the real diamonds?

You get me the real money, and I'll bring you the real diamonds. Where the

hell do you think you're going?

I hear that the Hotel Tropicana is quite comfortable.

My condolences, gentlemen.

Hello, Felix.

I'm very comfortable.

There's one problem, though. I want the real merchandise, and rather quickly.

Q's just arrived with it.

We'll be up with him in the morning.

So I'd sit tight if I were you.

There's no sense in looking for trouble.

Just enjoy yourself, James.

I'm sure you know how.

Quite.

I'll, uh, probably take in a show or something.

How do you like me so far?

People say I have the body of Rock Hudson.

Whoever finds out what I'm doing, totally be madder than hell.

I call these girls my acorns.

Actually, they're a gift from Willard White, who is upstairs right now

somewhere, playing Monopoly with real buildings.

I try to phone him, but trying to find Willard White is like trying to find a

virgin in a maternity ward.

And on behalf of the White House, I want to let you folks know, you've been a

lousy audience.

So get lost. See you later.

Shady Tree.

Shady, we just adored your act. What taste? Style.

And we have a few suggestions.

Critics and material I don't need. I haven't changed my act in 40 years.

Hold it.

Don't go in there.

We didn't get the real diamond, so we need Tree.

Alive. That's most annoying.

Come out now!

Grab the boxcar, the lizard.

Well, that's it, pussycat. Shot the whole wad.

What do you say?

Back to my place?

You're a nice person, Maxie. Really, you are.

Why don't you go and take a nap, and I'll see you next year.

May I have $5,000?

No, make it $10,000. $2,000 limit.

Was there some problem?

Thank me.

The gentleman wants $10,000 credit with a $2,000 limit.

My name is Franks.

Peter Franks.

Mr. Frank's credit's good.

Good luck to you, Mr. Frank's.

Thank you. I'll have two stacks now.

The gentleman's $4,000.

Thank you.

Hi, I'm Plenty.

But of course you are. Plenty, I too.

Named after your father, perhaps?

Would you like some help?

On the craps, I mean.

That's very kind of you.

Come here.

Come here.

Other lady.

Nine. You marked nine.

Seven loser.

The lucky lady craps out.

Blue shooter. Your shot, Mr. F.

Willard White speaking.

Tree's dead.

Turn on number two.

I'll take the full odds on the 10, 200 on the hard way.

The limit on all the numbers, 250 on the 11. Thank you very much.

Say, you played this game before.

Just once.

Now what do we do?

Don't bother me with details, Bert. Just get me the diamonds.

You handle those tubes like a monkey handles coconuts.

Thank you, gentlemen, for such a sterling service.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Well, that's $50,000.

Minus $5,000 for you leaves me $45,000, and thank you very much. Well, it was

nothing, really.

You know something, Peter Franks? You're a terrific guy.

A little weird, but a terrific guy. Say, why don't we go someplace and have a

drink? A drink?

Well, if you'd like to come in plenty.

Oh, how pretty. What a super place you have.

Just give me one second, lover.

Good evening.

I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up. Hey, what the hell is

this? A pervert's convention or something?

Hey, listen, you can't do this to me! Stop that! I've got friends in this

town!

Exceptionally fine shot.

I didn't know it was a pool down there.

All right, let's get down to business.

I presume you've come for the re... The real diamonds.

Good evening, Miss Case.

Sorry about your fulsome friend.

I'll bet you really missed something.

Well, the evening may not be a total loss after all.

Why don't we talk a bit first?

First?

Well, what would you like to talk about?

You pick a subject.

Diamonds? Good boy.

And you want to know where they are and whether I'm working alone or not.

So far, so good. Keep going.

And if not, then with whom?

So you can inform your superiors and... acquire the diamonds.

Peter, I'm very impressed.

There's a lot more to you than I had expected.

Presumably, I'm the condemned man.

And obviously, you're the hearty breakfast.

Right?

You're not going to tell me where the diamonds are, are you?

What diamonds?

Sooner or later, you'll have to talk.

They'll make you.

At the very least, you'll never get out of town alive.

I can solve that little problem.

It's lucky for me that I...

Run into you.

A 50-50 split.

You get the diamonds, I get us out.

Us? Well, I can't very well help you and then stick around.

We could be on a plane and out of the country by tomorrow night.

Rio, Hong Kong.

I know a good tailor in Hong Kong.

Hong Kong.

All right.

I'll get the diamonds, you get the plane tickets.

Now, the airport's too obvious.

A rented car should do us fine for openers.

That's good thinking.

And since you're the one who's being watched, I'll get the diamonds, you get

the car.

That's very good thinking.

Oh, Peter.

I have a feeling this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship.

Darling, where do I pick up the diamonds?

When was the last time you visited a circus?

Circus! Circus proudly presents the Flying Pelusio!

She's in the building. Right. Stand by.

Do me a favor, James. Next time, pick a contact point when you're standing up.

Felix, if she gives your men the slip. Relax. I've got upwards of 30 agents

down there. A mouse with sneakers on couldn't get through.

Give Maxwell his cue.

This is quarterback.

Operation Passover commence.

Quarterback to tight end. Operation Passover commence.

Roger.

Ah, she's on her way. So far, so good.

Oh, good luck, Felix. I'll see you later. Where are you going?

The car rental agency.

A little rendezvous?

You don't actually think she's going to show up, do you? That's a thousand to

one shot.

No, more like even money. Her devotion to larceny versus my, uh...

Incomparable charm.

All right, now, kiddies. You ready?

Aim, fire. Go ahead.

Now, what did I tell you? Didn't I promise you a winner every time? There

you are, young man. How about that, huh? All right, now, boys and girls, here we

go again.

All you have to do is just take your gun. All right, now, here we have a

little lady. Here we have a little man.

And here we have a big lady.

You're a little out of your league, aren't you, sister? All right, now,

boys, come on, point the guns. You know what to do.

All ready?

Get set?

Now, hold it till I say go.

Go!

Now, come on, that's it. Everybody point right at the clown.

Winner every time. Get him up.

Here, for the first time, see Zambora, the strangest girl ever born to live.

She was captured near Nairobi, South Africa, and is believed to be part of a

cruel and human experiment.

This beautiful girl will be locked into a steel cage right in front of your

eyes, will change very slowly into a ferocious 450-pound gorilla.

Please be very still, ladies and gentlemen. We must have absolute

silence. so we wouldn't disturb Zamora from her transcendental state.

We must warn you that in every scientific experiment, there's always a

danger. So keep in mind, this Quentin's is on exit.

God forbid something should go wrong over here. Get out of here.

Now we start the transformation.

Very dangerous, very quiet, please.

Wake, my beauty, wake.

No show?

Felix, don't tell me you lost her.

We lost her.

Nice place you have here.

Take something off, enjoy the sun.

You've got a lot of guts showing up here. After letting me freeze my behind

off at a blackjack table for two hours, waiting for some non-existent diamonds.

And what the hell is my black wig doing in the pool?

Dead. Supposed to be you. The next link in the pipeline.

What are you talking about?

Poor Plenty must have stumbled in here looking for you.

I don't believe you.

A dentist is dead in South Africa.

That little old lady in Amsterdam.

Shady got his last night. They've missed me once.

And you're next.

Now, who's your connection?

You sound like a cop to me.

Who's your connection?

All I know, his voice is on a phone.

They got me this place and told me to wait for further instructions.

I find it rather difficult to hear underwater.

Now, where's the stuff?

Who are you?

You're not a cop, and you're not Peter Franks. And you're not the type to turn

the other cheek. Now, where is the stuff?

Thank you.

Fill it up, please. Okay.

It's Bert Saxby. It's Willard White's right-hand man.

Do you see the top? The penthouse?

They say Willard White hasn't set foot out of there in three years, and no one

has seen him. No one.

How much is that?

Did you pay for this?

Cut him off.

my stamps where are you going are you mad let me buy stamps you ain't got no

gas yet okay okay so shove a couple gallons in we'll back it up

keep leaning on that tutor charlie and you're gonna get a shot in the

mouth come on lady move it okay lady you win you win will

someone move that car do what he says

Forget it, Curly. You had your chance and you blew it.

Okay, Professor.

Hello. Hi.

I haven't seen you here before.

I'm Klaus Hergesheimer.

Ah, new here.

I've been here three years. G-section.

A lot of things in G-section.

Still the same old grind, you know. Checking radiation shields for

replacement. And by the way, where's yours?

Uh, I've been waiting a couple of days for you guys to deliver them.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry. You should have given us a phone call.

Yeah, look, I've got one here.

Lucky for you, I carry spares. Now, you keep that on. You can't be too careful

about radiation.

Absolutely. I feel much safer with this on. See you around.

Who are you?

What do you want?

Klaus Hergesheimer, G-section. Just checking on radiation shields.

Now, let me see. You are... Professor Dr. Metz. Our shields are fine. Now get

out. I'm sorry.

It won't take a moment, but I must verify.

Metz.

How do you spell?

Will you please leave, you irritating man?

Doctor, there's no reason to run down the little people.

G-section may not be as important to the operation as you are, but we do have our

orders. Dr. Menz, we'll advise for you. Right.

Out, out.

Hello, W.W.

Yes, it's finally here.

Oh, quite enough for completion.

We'll be through shortly.

No? No problems at all?

Right. Now, will you get out of here?

Certainly, Doctor.

I've seen everything I need to see.

Thank you very much.

Hi. Sorry to bother you. I'm Klaus Hergersheimer.

G-section.

Checking radiation shields?

is behind the rock come on what the hell is this amateur night

stop him harry

get him off

that machine that isn't a toy

It's gone berserk.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

If you see a mad professor in the minibus, just smile.

Fred, get the sheriff's office.

Okay.

Listen, you can drop me off at the next corner. This whole thing is getting a

little out of hand.

No regrets, but when you start stealing moon machines from Willard White,

goodbye and good luck.

Just relax.

I have a friend named Felix who can fix anything.

Is he married?

There goes that son of a bitch in saboteur.

Relax, you've got a friend named Felix who can fix anything.

Unfortunately, so can Willett White.

Are you dirty, Matt?

Larry got him.

Sheriff.

Attaboy, Larry. Come in.

Larry? Sheriff.

I

got

you now.

Lean over.

Darling, why are we suddenly staying in the bridal suite of the White House?

In order to form a more perfect union, sweetheart.

James.

May I finally call you James?

What's going to happen to me?

You did talk to your friend Felix about me.

Mm-hmm. Well, what did he say?

Something about 20 years to life. Nothing important.

20 years to life?

Relax, darling.

I'm on top of the situation.

Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Yes, that's the name on the register, Mr. Lighter.

What's the score with W.W.? Washington says no go. We sit still for now. Sit

still? And Miss Tiffany Case Jones has a lifetime reservation at another hotel.

The kind the government runs.

I'm cooperating, Mr. Leiter.

Really, I am.

Oh, I can vouch for that.

Billings, this is not the real White House. And he's not the president.

Why don't we just go and see him? The president I can get you into see.

But until Washington starts believing Willard White's a thief, that's the way

it is. In the meantime, I'm sure you and Mrs. Jones could find some way to amuse

yourselves. And just to make sure you're not disturbed, I have a man upstairs.

And Hamilton is right out here.

So long, James.

Well, that's a switch.

What's that?

The wolf being guarded by the three little pigs.

It won't be long, darling.

Where are you going? What are you doing?

I'm just popping upstairs for a moment.

Sixteenth floor?

No, lady.

Starlight Lounge only.

Okay, folks, stand clear of the doors. Here we go.

lounge to the left. Express to street level only, folks.

Okay, stand clear of the doors.

Here we go.

Howdy, welcome son. We've been expecting you.

You got any personal business to take care of? Then there you go right ahead.

First, I suspect you're wearing a hog leg. Would you mind standing up and

taking it off?

Oh, isn't that nice? You are a pleasant fella.

Why don't you just come on in, son? Relax. Make yourself comfortable.

That's good. Right on over there.

Good evening, Mr. Bond.

Blofeld.

Good evening, 007.

Double jeopardy, Mr. Bond. You killed my only other double, I'm afraid.

After his death, volunteers were, understandably, rather scarce.

Such a pity. All that time and expense simply to provide you with one mock

heroic moment.

Willard White speaking.

Yes, Governor, I got your message.

No, no, I'm afraid the personal appearance is quite out of the question.

I'll send a deposition to the committee.

Thank you, Governor.

Well, that's a neat trick.

A voice box, Mr. Bond.

Science was never my strong suit, but the principles easy enough. Someone's

voice patterns and resonance stored in a small...

oral signature tape a miniature transistorized version is installed in

his neck or is it his neck i never can remember anyway no matter we both sound

alike my congratulations to you both

oh nice little company

explosives oil electronics houses aviation

I've done rather well with it, too. Tried to cut some of the fat off, but

actually, Mr. White's a splendid administrator.

Damn thing runs itself.

I suppose you've killed him.

Nothing so melodramatic.

I'm simply holding him in cold storage, so to speak. An insurance policy against

any outside interference with my plans.

The ideal kidnap victim. No one's seen the man for five years.

So who's going to miss someone who's already missing?

How clever you are, Mr. Bond.

Nice to see you haven't lost that fine mental edge, 007. Please don't get any

foolish notions. That missile is not a practical weapon.

Well, it's hardly worth the effort.

After all, I wouldn't know which one of you to kill. We appreciate your

predicament, Mr. Bond.

We deeply sympathize.

Right idea, Mr. Bond.

What wrong pussy?

I do so enjoy our little visits, Mr. Bond.

However potentially painful they may be.

But I'm afraid this one has come to an end.

What do you intend to do with those diamonds?

An excellent question.

And one which will be hanging on the lips of the world quite soon.

If I were to break the news to anyone, it would be to you first, Mr. Bond. You

know that.

But it's late, I'm tired, and there's so much left to do.

Good night, Mr. Bond.

Well, go on, go on. It's merely a lift.

Or perhaps I should say elevator.

In any event, I'm sure you'll find it much more convenient than mountaineering

about outside the White House.

You press L, Mr. Bond.

The word lobby begins with L.

If at first you don't succeed, Mr. King.

Try, try again, Mr. Williams.

What on earth smells like a tart's handkerchief?

I'm afraid it's me.

Sorry about that, old boy.

Don't mind the cockamamie machine breaking down twice a day, but why the

hell does it always have to be 500 yards away from the nearest hatch?

All right, Charlie, it's your turn to play hunchback.

Thank you very much.

I was just out walking my rat, and I seem to have lost my way.

Willard White speaking.

This is Bert.

We got a problem.

What's the matter with your voice, Bert? Have you got a cold?

Never mind about that.

I just saw James Bond in the casino.

That's impossible.

Yeah, well, you come and have a look for yourself.

Hey, listen.

If he's half the genius they say he is, we're in for real trouble. Now.

Well, it's the sense he's not working alone.

This place must be crawling with agents by now.

I think we should move Willard White.

Nonsense. Mr. White is perfectly safe at his own summer house.

It's on the ridge, about ten miles out of town.

I'm a little surprised, Bert. It's not like you to panic.

Well, I just don't enjoy messing around with a guy as tough as James Bond. Never

mind James Bond.

You get down to that house.

I'm afraid Mr. White has suddenly outgrown his usefulness.

Do it cleanly, Bert.

Don't worry.

Just leave everything to me.

That ridiculous contraption actually seems to work, Hugh.

You've surpassed yourself this time. Not a bit of it.

Made one of these for the kids last Christmas.

Maxwell, James and I are heading for the house. You get set to hit the penthouse

as soon as we find White. Right.

Let me speak to Metz.

There's been a change. Push all plans forward by 24 hours. I'm joining you

immediately.

Give me five minutes to get up there and five minutes to find White.

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Ask me again in ten minutes' time.

Tell Maxwell to stand by to hit the penthouse.

Well, hi there.

I'm Bambi.

Good morning, Bambi.

And I'm Thumper.

Is there something we can do for you?

I can think of several things offhand, but at the moment I'm looking for

Willard White.

Oh, Willy.

Why, he's right out there.

And, uh, that's all there is to it.

Not quite.

First, we're gonna have a ball.

All yours, Bambi.

Felix? Well, you know it.

Willard White is about to be executed, and guess who's giving breaststroke

lessons?

Where the hell is White?

I haven't found out yet.

Still haven't found out.

FBI?

CIA? No, British intelligence, Mr. White. James Bond.

I see you met my friend Bambi and Thumper.

Yes, we did have a bit of a chat.

What the hell's happened to me, and what can I do about it? Let's get out of here

first, then I'll explain it to you.

Tell Maxwell to hit the penthouse.

Saxby. Burt Saxby?

Yeah.

Tell him he's fired.

Hi there, Mr. Q. Are you having any luck?

I'm being somewhat successful, thank you.

Listen, Mr. Q, I was wondering, have you heard any talk about me from Felix or

James? No, I'm afraid not.

Well, I guess I'm working for the good guys now, but I'm still only two steps

away from the slammer if they want me there. I thought you might be able to

put in a good word.

That's unbelievable.

An electromagnetic RPM controller.

Been aching to give it a try.

You see, pressure on the case there when the desired symbols appear.

This causes the rotation of the cylinders to stutter at just the precise

moment needed to...

Cab

lady?

what the cat dragged in.

I'm delighted to meet you, Miss Case.

I'd so dreaded the prospect of making this tedious journey alone.

It was

right here, about six feet high, with a solar panel.

They had these, uh, aerofoils that seemed to be dry for me.

Was Dr. Metz on your payroll, Mr. White?

No, but I heard of him. Everybody in our business has. The world's leading expert

on laser refraction.

A committed idealist to peace. And how in the hell Blofeld got his hooks in

him, I will never know. How did he get security clearance to work here in the

first place?

Well, from you, sir.

I taught you personally about it.

I even recognize your voice just now.

I'm sure I must have told you not to keep the usual duplicate microfilm

records of the project.

Exactly, sir.

Tom, what did I tell you to do with this?

Senator Vandenberg, sir.

Well, get him on the phone, now!

Yelp.

You won't believe this.

Willard White for you.

This is the real honor sir shove your honor. Where's that satellite? I sent

down there blasted off 24 minutes ago, sir

Perfect trajectory all systems go we

expect to enter orbit right on the nose Wait

something's happened

by just a moment. Mr. White scanners have gone crazy

Premature first aid separation.

It doesn't make sense.

Stand by to abort.

We can't control it, sir.

Abort it!

It's negative.

We can't. Something's taken over the guidance system.

It's as if it had a will of its own. And there's not a damn thing we can do about

it at the moment.

We're working on it, sir. I'll call you right back, Mr. White.

Well, whatever it is, your friend Blofeld's controlling it now.

A vast supply of diamonds being manipulated by an expert in light

retraction.

The first laser beam is generated through a diamond, and if Ole Miss

deserves one-tenth of his reputation, the power of that thing could be

incredible.

And Blofeld's got it.

Where is it now?

Approaching North Dakota.

Alert Strategic Air Command.

Give me an open line to sack.

Yes, General.

One of our missiles just accidentally blew up in North Dakota.

Whatever's happening, Mr. Bond, has started.

Is this your herd? Mr. White?

Yeah. Phone call for you from Washington. Urgent. I'll catch it in a

john. What about Blofeld?

Not a trace, but we found a tunnel. We're checking it out. Where's Tiffany?

Do you mind if we find Blofeld first? Come on, let's hit that tunnel.

just got word from your friend with a cat.

Would you believe that this whole damn country is being held for ransom and we

got until noon tomorrow to pay up?

So that's it then.

Well, I'm sure you won't be alone.

An international auction with nuclear supremacy going to the highest bidder.

Tell me, what does he need to control that satellite?

A simple set of tapes fed into a computer bank. All he really needs is a

building. And these tapes, large or small?

Conceivably any size, from six inch to a cassette.

Well, assuming he's still using your empire as a cover, Blofeld could be

anywhere on this map.

From Alaska to Florida, from Maine to Oregon, from Texas to Baja

California.

Baja I haven't got a thing at Baja

There

is still no official government explanation of the apparent simultaneous

nuclear accidents in North Dakota and Russia Presidential News Secretary John

Fenner has refused comment on an unconfirmed report that an emergency

meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Staff is in session at this very moment It is

believed that the United States and the Soviet Union have assured each other

over the hotline that no offensive action has been taken by either nation.

Reports of another nuclear accident in Red China are as yet unconfirmed.

We will be bringing you further reports... Two more submarines have

taken up position not ten miles away.

Now are those military aircraft going to stand off forever?

What if they won't accept our ultimatum? What if they decide to attack?

Calm yourself, Metz.

This farcical show of force was only to be expected.

Yes, but... Great powers flexing their military muscles like so many impotent

beach boys.

I deeply regret my threat to destroy a major city unless they give in, but

there it is.

The nuclear powers, like all bullies, can only be intimidated by force.

But how can you really... There's still an hour left for them to reply.

One hour for both of us to achieve our common dream.

Total disarmament and peace for the world.

Sir, there's a single plane approaching. Range?

Two miles.

And closing.

Stage one alert, please.

Command center.

All crew to stage one.

Hold your fire.

All recovery crew personnel, proceed to docking level and stand by.

Good morning, gentlemen.

The Acme Pollution Inspection. We're cleaning up the world. We thought this

was a suitable starting point.

How disappointing.

I was expecting one head of state at the very least.

Surely you haven't come to negotiate, Mr. Bond. Your pitiful little island

hasn't even been threatened.

Search him from his toenails to the last follicle on his head and then bring him

to me.

i do so hate martial music but as usual mr bond you were

absolutely right you guessed correctly that box contained the master satellite

control tape and you came aboard presumably hoping to substitute this for

the real thing i'm so sorry to ruin the line of your suit

for nothing

Talking about lines, which one did you use on Miss Case?

Miss Case has taken a terribly reasonable attitude about all this.

Like any sensible animal, she's only threatening when she's threatened.

It appears that you're holding all the aces, right down to the dragon lady over

here.

Jealousy? From you, Mr. Bond?

Unpleasured.

As La Rochefoucauld observed, humility is the worst form of conceit.

I do hold a winning hand.

Why don't you let me take you on a little tour of our facilities?

Your chance to see the real tape once again.

Can I tag along, Ernst?

I'd put something on over that bikini first, my dear.

I've come too far to have the aim of my crew affected by the sight of a pretty

body.

No word yet from anyone.

Only 12 minutes left.

Oh, well, I suppose a little gentle...

Prodding is called for.

As you see, Mr. Bond, the satellite is at present over Kansas.

Well, if we destroy Kansas, the world may not hear about it for years.

Perhaps New York, all that smut and traffic, would give them a chance for a

fresh start.

Washington, D.C.

Perfect. Since we have not heard from them, they will hear from us. See to it,

Max. Washington.

Right. And this, presumably, is the control bank with the coded tape.

Right again, Mr. Bond.

All satellites are controlled by a coded tape.

The trick is, of course, to have the code.

Obviously. It all seems so perfectly simple. I suppose one just presses that

and out it pops.

Put it back, Mr. Bond.

Immediately.

Is Superman giving you any trouble?

Put it back very carefully.

You've suddenly become tiresome, Mr. Bond.

Target fixed. Commence countdown.

Ten minutes and counting.

Take him away and throw him in the brig.

And search him again, just to make sure.

Your problems are all behind you now.

I did it. I switched the tape in the machine.

You stupid twat, you put the real one back in. Come on. Come on, let's go.

A weather balloon.

What do you think, Mr. Lighter? That must be the signal. There is the low

-pressure area within 200 miles of here. Let's go.

This is Charlie One to Squadron.

Charlie One to Squadron. Ready all guns and proceed to target.

I repeat, proceed to target.

Roger, Charlie One. Out.

Come on, Bond. Get the hell off that rig.

Approaching rapidly.

Range, five miles.

But I... I don't understand.

You said they wouldn't attack.

You said they would... The balloon was the signal.

Stupid fools must think Mr. Bond has accomplished his mission.

Activate defenses.

Activate defenses.

This is Charlie One.

Commence attack.

Commence attack.

Six minutes and counting.

Get them on the radio, Blofeld.

Tell them we give up.

Give up?

I've waited too long for this moment.

They'll pay dearly for making a fool out of me.

Oh, I see it all now. You don't give a damn about peace. All you care about

is... Tiffany,

my dear.

We're showing a bit more cheek than usual, aren't we?

with Mr.

Bond.

What a pity.

Such nice cheeks, too.

If only they were brains.

Destroy this mess.

Tell them we surrender!

This is not the madness!

One more word, Metz, and I'll have you shot. Get back to your post.

Prepare my baffles sub-immediately.

All systems into lock.

Brothers up the crane.

Commence lift.

Two minutes and counting.

Power and breathing systems on.

Release catches open.

Lower away.

Close up to crane. Lower away.

Wake up, man. Lower away.

You stupid idiot. You're gonna kill me.

One minute and counting

Thank you.

So long, James.

YRM, you're on your way home.

Don't tell him which direction we've taken.

If you're having a good time, let the captain know and I'll have him steam

around in circles.

James.

There's something very important I've been meaning to ask you.

About us.

Oh? I know in a relationship like ours, the girl's not supposed to be the one to

ask. But I can't help it.

And please, think before answering.

That I promise.

James.

There must be some mistake. I didn't order anything.

No mistake, sir.

On the specific instructions and with the compliments of Mr.

Willard White.

Oysters, Andalus.

Shashlik.

Tidbits. Prime rib au jus.

Salad utopia.

And for dessert, the pièce de résistance.

That looks fantastic.

What's in it?

Ah, but then there would be no surprise, madame.

Madam, would you care to be seated?

Thank you. This will just take a moment, and then we will leave you in peace.

Wine, sir?

Multan Orchid 55.

May we begin?

Please do.

A happy selection, if I may say.

I'll be the judge of that.

That's rather potent.

Not the cork, your aftershave.

Strong enough to bury anything.

But the wine is quite excellent.

Although for such a grand meal, I had rather expected a claret.

Of course.

Unfortunately, our cellar is rather poorly stocked with clarets.

Mouton Rothschild is a claret.

And I've smelt that after shave before, and both times I've smelt a rat.

Well, he certainly left with his tails between his legs.

Oh, James.

Oh, yes.

What were you about to ask me?

James, how the hell do we get those diamonds down again?

Diamonds are forever Sparkling round my little

finger

The diamonds linger.

Men are mere mortals who are not worth going to your grave

for.

I don't need love for what good

will love do me?

Diamonds never lie to me.

I'm in Zafra