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It's low tide. It's so different. This isn't at all what I'd planned.

Sh*t, I'm scr*wed. I'd forgotten about the tide.

Never mind what I'd planned.

The sea is always beautiful anyway.

It's just different. It'll be quieter, with fewer extras.

Ah sh*t, the extras!

No, actually, if I'd seen it like that I'd have thought it was better.

Right, we need two shots.

Have you seen how far it is? The sea's way out.

That's what I thought. It was too good to be true.

Are you OK? Aren't you cold?

I'm fine.

I don't think she is, Jeanne. Her lips are turning blue.

The actors don't need to be here. We're not ready.

Go on, stay in the dressing room, where it's warm.

Extras, too, go in the warm.

Come on, go and keep warm in the dressing room.

They do as they please, they don't listen to a word.

She's fine, but him... he doesn't want any more foundation.

I don't care, you do his make-up.

Haven't you heard how he speaks to me?

I'll tell him it's about continuity and it's not open for discussion.

You have to take your make-up off at night and put some cream on.

But it's pointless!

It's continuity and it's not up for debate.

Come on!

I've always had my actors made up.

But I'm not like the others.

Yes, but it's about continuity and it's not up for discussion.

Go on, Anna.

Just let her do her job.

OK, extras! I need your attention for just two minutes!

I know it's cold, it's tough,

but I'm going to ask you to please take off your woollies.

Now, remember, you're by the sea,

the weather's lovely, sun's shining, you're relaxing on the beach...

Partying, football, life is good... Action!

Hurry up, we don't have long because of the sun!

Come on, it's about time. The extras are all stripped off,

they're turning blue! Let's get on with it!

Why would she be any colder while he's freezing waiting for her?

Well, that's just how it is. Wait!

You need to be a fakir to be an actor,

walking on hot coals without getting burnt.

Right, let's go. No! Out of the way!

Action!

Bart's set up some Caribbean-style lighting. Brilliant, isn't it?

Yes, perfect.

But these extras are doing my head in!

If they don't want to strip off, get rid of them!

Get them out of my sight!

Get rid of them! Come on!

There you go. It's much better when there's no one else around.

Quiet, picture's up! Positions, please!

Camera...

Action!

Frame...

Action!

Cut!

Have you seen how you're looking at her?

You look like an idiot, it's dreadful!

Your smile is all crooked.

You look at anyone on set better than her.

Do you think that's going to help?

Well I had to say it.

Where's that pikey off to?

There's no point filming when they're rubbish.

We'd better get a move on, the storm's coming.

Yeah, but they can't even kiss properly.

I'll speak to him.

Your mouth's still weird when you smile.

- I can't see myself. - You clearly don't want to kiss.

You're only doing it because it's in the script.

You can't judge a film by the script alone!

People kiss because they want to, not because it's in the script.

- This isn't real life! - No, but you're an actor,

and an actor acts as if it were real life!

She's the one who doesn't want me to kiss her. She told me so.

I don't care. Have you read the script?

You're supposed to sleep together afterwards.

Just kiss him, OK?

OK?

You don't care if he's talking a load of rubbish,

or if you look like an idiot talking to him.

You're dying for him to kiss you.

You know he's going to do it, however weird it feels,

so when he does, you...

...don't worry about your lines. I don't care about the lines.

I want you to kiss for what feels like an eternity.

But he won't kiss me.

He says the opposite, which doesn't surprise me.

You don't say!

I'll kiss him.

I don't care, I know it's my job.

Guys are much more shy than girls when it comes to sex scenes.

So you go for it!

I'll focus on you anyway but he mustn't ruin the shot.

He's a rubbish kisser.

Not nearly as good as my fiancé.

So, you're not kissing her right?

I've never kissed a girl who didn't enjoy me kissing her.

Make sure she enjoys it, OK?

And that the audience enjoys it.

OK, let's see you kiss. Come on!

Hurry up!

Come on!

- Shall I get into position? - Yes, I'm waiting.

Not just little pecks. Kiss her properly.

I want it to last, I want it to go on forever.

You look like a corpse.

OK, let's shoot.

Here, give me this.

- OK, let's go. - Yeah but it has to be right now.

Have you seen the light? It's going to be too dark soon.

We were rehearsing.

Picture's up! Positions, please!

We don't have long left.

Silence, please!

Action!

Look at those two idiots.

That's not how you do it when you're flirting.

Cut!

Watch the equipment!

This place is crazy - it's sunny and raining at the same time!

It's the Atlantic. That's how it is.

I told you the rain was coming.

Did you see how he was kissing her?

She's the one turning her head away.

Leo, this is serious.

They're deliberately hating each other to avoid doing the sex scene.

That's it, they don't want to do the scenes.

But without them, there's nothing left.

Look at that hypocrite.

She's not fit to go swimming. I've had her mum on the phone.

What do you mean? She's 18.

Medical certificate. She can go in up to her knees, that's it.

In the script she's swimming.

So if she can't, you'd better get in touch with the insurance.

Is that what you want? No, OK, so we shoot.

- What about the swimming bit? - Don't talk to me about swimming!

That's not the tone of the film! I don't speak to actors like that!

It's fine up to this point.

Exactly - a dreadful shot!

Cutting there with a girl in a swimsuit is ridiculous!

The water's 10 degrees. If she can't manage it, that's my problem.

It's between her and me. It doesn't concern you.

It doesn't concern the Production Manager.

I don't care. She's going in.

Whatever the Production Manager and his clique say,

I'm not crazy.

I've got my actors under control.

I'm always in control of the situation.

They're my actors.

When I look absolutely furious, I'm not really furious.

Well, I am, but only because it serves the role and the film.

The film just has to be shot that way.

Don't worry, I never put the film at risk.

I'm not worried.

You should be.

I never know what I'm going to do. It's frightening.

I've no idea how I manage it.

I only manage it when I'm right on top of it.

I've always loved post-industrial dumping grounds.

I find anything that disfigures the landscape beautiful.

Did you break your foot?

No, my foot got broken.

All by itself. That's the metaphor for the film.

The walking stick is fabulous, anyway.

- Isn't it? - Perfect. Very 'Grand Siècle'.

It's incredible.

Exactly the same garden as at the villa.

We did our best.

It was a bit stressful, you arriving just in time for filming.

Even the plants are identical.

They're real.

I love the studio.

The reflection from the mirror's going to be a nightmare.

Jeanne, you need to make up your mind.

Bart's getting impatient for the shot.

I'd like to show the bedroom door to tie the space together,

then move in closer.

No, the other way round.

We should zoom out as she walks towards the bedroom.

Or maybe I'll do it in two shots...

but then it'll take longer.

Will it be OK in one shot?

No problem. We'll just take the wall out.

Will it take long to take the wall out?

No...

We'll do this side and then the other.

- Let me help you. May I? - No!

Did you break your foot?

My foot got broken. And this film is breaking me, too.

Are you in pain?

I don't want to talk about it.

I'm on set, I'm not sick.

Can you help, please.

You'll see, there's a whole different feel.

In the studio, we frame the shots.

It's not like on location, where the elements control everything.

The studio is where the film's narrative unfolds.

It's no place for your dirty jokes, which I'm sick of.

I know you think it's vulgar but it helps me relax.

I feel like the crew like me better then,

and I really need that.

You haven't done the sex scenes yet.

These blokes' jokes all get out of hand very quickly.

And I also have to love you if I'm to film you, remember.

When I see you wiggling your *ss all over the place it makes me sick!

- It's because I'm shy. - You're not!

You're wasting all that sexual energy

and there's nothing left for when the camera's rolling!

You know when I told you you looked ugly at the beach...

- I don't care about beauty. - Neither do I,

but this is what I call "morally ugly",

when an actor is ugly because he's not really there,

he's there in the flesh but not in soul!

You can have the best lighting in the world,

but if the actor doesn't give you their inner light, you have nothing!

You're filming dead flesh, a cinematic corpse!

Anyway, I won't be filming that shot from your angle.

You might say that editing is all about cutting out shots.

It doesn't matter that you messed up the scene

because the actress, even if you think she's rubbish,

she gave me something truly wonderful.

She's looking at you. Her eyes are so, so green.

She looks like she's burning with desire for you.

That shot will make the scene.

It'll give her character so much credibility.

Your actress is awful, she's not an actress.

I'm only interested in myself. I'm unique.

You're unique? How so?

If I'm feeling rubbish of course I'm not going to care.

Look, I'm making your film and getting paid well.

Don't say you're doing it for the money.

I'm happy to be doing it and I'm happy to be well paid to do it.

When you talk to me the way you did on the beach...

I don't like doing that.

But when I see that the scene isn't right, I panic.

I do what I can. I don't realise what I'm saying.

You say awful things and they really hold me back.

I want to film you as I see you, as you are with me.

- Well I can't see myself! - You must know how you are,

when you greet everyone as if you were about to have sex with them.

It pisses me off that that won't be in my film!

Mind you, we've already done it - the dune scene is fantastic.

That's just how I like you. You've even got dimples.

An inherent irony that contradicts the sentimentality of the scene.

A thing and its opposite.

Yeah, something really happened in that scene.

You just let yourself go, that's all,

you stopped trying to hold back,

wondering whether you were being obscene.

You know, if we're afraid of being obscene, we are obscene.

The camera is what we see

and what we think we see.

It sweeps you away into an emotion,

and in that emotion, nothing is obscene, it's a blessing.

Sorry to interrupt your intimate little chat.

It's not intimate.

I watched from a distance, didn't dare come any closer.

Why?

I don't know, you have a special sort of relationship with him.

You're like two wild animals -

no one dares to interfere, no one understands.

It's like you're going to kill each other.

It did get off to a bad start but we eventually managed to talk.

He's hideously arrogant.

Cut!

- Want to go again? - No, that's fine.

Which one am I taking?

The last one, for sure, and then...

the second.

- What about the fourth? - Did you think it was good?

Not bad, she's smiling more.

I don't really like her smiling that much.

Let's take it, we've nothing to lose.

Two, four and the last one.

I've asked "The Beast" to come and try out his prosthesis.

I'm in no hurry to see it.

Know what I call it?

"The bare minimum".

He thinks making a film is just about being in front of the camera.

I can't stand the way he acts like a sl*t on set.

A complete sl*t, wiggling his *ss.

Jeanne,

you're always so enthusiastic with your actors at first

because you choose good-looking lads,

for their looks.

Then, when they let you down, you reject them.

Is that so?

It was the same last time.

Oh really? I thought it was very different.

No, it was the same.

You look at the boys

like they're pieces of meat, not for who they are.

I like filming macho types, what can I say?

Rhett Butler is the ultimate ladies' man but he's awfully macho.

That's how it is.

We only love the men we hate.

Antagonism is the most invigorating form of desire.

That's it - there's no human quality, it's just desire.

Yes, but desire is a human quality.

It is a human quality.

Jeanne?

Come in.

- Is it ready? - No.

I'm having trouble attaching it. It still doesn't look natural.

I tried it myself for an hour at home.

I was the guinea pig, and it worked, but on him...

His penis is slightly bent. Do you prefer it bent or straight?

Straight looks better.

And it has to be at an angle of, what, 35 degrees?

More or less.

I can't get it to stay up like that, it's leaning too much.

- Can you make it right? - Yeah, I'll fine-tune it.

We could maybe even use the hairs...

They'd have to be shaved.

No, it'll ruin the continuity.

I think I can sort it. Just give me 20 minutes.

I will sort it.

- Shall I leave you to it? - Yes, please.

It's hard, I'm sorry.

It's just work, it's fine.

Are you OK?

No, I feel like throwing up.

I'm not used to having a man touch my penis.

- Fancy a beer? - No.

I'll go and get you one. Just drink, don't think about it.

The scene will just happen by itself then.

You'll be fine once you're doing it.

It'll come easily, you'll just do it.

I know, it's something I have to get over, but right now I feel sick.

Don't go!

It's silly, you not coming with us.

Don't worry, I'm not going to run off.

Are you afraid I might do a runner?

A bit.

I won't. I'm being paid to make the film.

Take care.

Don't worry, he'll be at the hotel with us next week, it'll be fine.

Sure you don't want to have dinner with us?

No, I'm tired.

I need to look over my lines

and call my fiancé.

I'm fine, don't worry.

OK, well, good night.

She's holed up in her room and he's not even here.

If they won't talk to me, it's their loss.

I called the hotel.

Don't worry, he's back already.

Good!

Shall we have a bottle of champagne?

Taittinger OK with you?

You know, the sort of scenes you do don't help.

- Well, yeah! - Well, yeah!

That's the problem.

An intimate scene in itself...

well, a "nude scene", as they say...

I hate that term, I really do.

It always seems much scarier,

even though, paradoxically,

that's what sparked their desire to make the film.

But that sort of desire is seen as shameful.

When they realise they have the role and will have to shoot the scene

and admit to everyone that they'd had that desire,

that they wanted to be seen in that position,

that's when the fear sets in.

They try to cast suspicion on you,

as if you've trapped them,

because they're obviously putting on their own disgusting little show.

They view the scene in a disgusting light, as if I weren't there,

whereas I love purity,

but I like it emerging from the mud. Otherwise, it's just nonsense.

One thing they're not wrong about

is that no one will care about a scene in a dodgy café,

that's no big deal,

but your arse...

Your bare arse is your bare arse.

Yet they're always the ones who start the trouble.

Always.

Come on, let's get to bed.

You know, I think they'd be better if they didn't like me any more.

If they don't care any more whether or not I like them,

then they can face my gaze, my judgement,

without fear of letting me down, if they don't like me anyway.

I'm going to go over there,

stand right in front of him, look him straight in the eye

so he understands it's my right.

He'll see that he can't get away with it in this role.

A guy doesn't automatically just get an erection, you know.

That's why we had one made for him, just to be safe.

Still, he could have asked, couldn't he?

"I can get it up for your film", rather than having a cast made.

And I didn't even dare ask him.

Yeah, 'til you palm it off onto me, as usual.

And he just went along with it, as if it were perfectly normal.

These actors amaze me.

I think it's much better for the girl, too.

It's important that it's not a real penis, it's more reassuring.

You think? Is it more politically correct?

Yeah.

- Is it ready? - Yes.

It's perfect. Looks just like the real thing.

Take it easy, Jeanne.

So?

It's really hard for him.

Apparently he's got a really big one - 22 cm!

He must have asked Willy to exaggerate a bit.

If it is that size, I'm so jealous.

I'm going to grill Willy.

Let's go!

It'll be perfect, she'll look like a bit of rag, crying.

It's funny, you never even look at the big screen.

That's not true.

No, you're always looking down there.

They just need to put it at the right height.

There's no point having the big one 'cause you don't look at it.

It's still better.

My dad's coming the day after tomorrow.

I'll have to stay two more nights in Lisbon to see him.

He can't come here.

You're managing just fine, anyway.

You make promises you don't keep.

I had a terrible dream last night, I hardly slept.

I had a massive penis, all the way up to the sky.

I'd become really small.

It was awful because it felt so real.

I woke up in a cold sweat, I couldn't move.

With that, stuck in my stomach.

Like when you kill a vampire.

My penis was the real vampire.

I didn't exist any more.

I'd never had a dream like that before, it was awful.

Shall we have lunch together today?

Yeah.

Oh, he's already sat on the bed?

Of course, we're not going to film everything.

He took her there on the pretext of showing her round the house,

his parents are out, he's sat on the bed, so...

it's obvious.

But that's just it, it's all too obvious.

If I were her, I'd just stand there, like this.

And you say...?

"You're not just going to stand there, are you?"

So, she comes...

You be the girl, I'll be the boy.

Go on.

Just like that?

Well, yeah, they're on a bed.

Now, she starts talking because she's scared.

Speech is the best chastity belt there is.

And she puts her elbows like this. Girls are brilliant like that.

If you try to get closer it digs into your ribs, hurts like hell!

But they're flirting, right?

Of course, but it's just flirting.

Right, so what does he do?

He does this...

Does he go in for her t*ts?

Do what you like to me, but it's not my fault if I get a hard-on.

Shut up, you're not getting a hard-on.

I'm frantically doing maths in my head,

thinking about the tax man, even my kitchen counter!

But you're not getting a hard-on!

No, because I'm trying to think about my tax return.

It would be really embarrassing if I started getting a hard-on here.

Especially as I look so puny, but looks can be deceiving.

I know, you keep telling everyone you've got a big one!

I'm really offended that you're not getting hard to prove it!

Well, there we are.

The scene's done.

For those who say I'm sleeping with my assistant, that's a lie.

We're working.

Because I know there are rumours that I'm sleeping with my assistant.

Oh, yes!

- Where's the Production Designer? - Here I am.

We need a board under the mattress.

You can't film a sex scene on a bed this soft. It's ridiculous.

You need hard beds for films.

- We'll find one. - Yes.

Are you OK? Not too nervous?

No. I'm absolutely fine.

The actor's sitting there. He's having lunch with me.

Although maybe he's changed his mind...

No worries, I'll sit somewhere else.

Are we having lunch together?

Well, yeah.

Just the two of you, he means.

Do you want to have lunch with me?

She hates me, you know.

I'd kill her if I could.

No, she's lovely.

Not exactly captivating, but nice.

She's an *sshole.

She said some horrible things to me yesterday.

What did she say to you?

Some horrible things.

She gets a kick out of humiliating guys.

Anyway, it doesn't matter.

You didn't call me this weekend.

You gave me the wrong mobile number.

Didn't you call the hotel?

You didn't call and you thought I'd given you the wrong number.

See - you don't trust me.

As soon as it's not going your way you want to end it all.

Everything, straight away.

I know that for you, after the film, we'll just be strangers.

Maybe.

It's not what I want but that's usually how it goes.

I don't want it to be like that.

You've got to trust me, respect my freedom.

I can't stay at the hotel at night. I need to be on the streets, alone.

Yet you seem to have a rather herd-like instinct.

The crew are my family.

I spent my childhood on film sets with my father.

Would you like to meet my dad?

Yes.

You'll like him.

He's more stylish than me, much better-looking.

I like getting my hands dirty - grease, dirt, you name it.

I'm happy with very little, not many clothes or possessions.

I don't like money because money is power.

I don't want any possessions, I want to be free.

I can't stand authority any more, and you can be quite the tyrant.

Yes, a tyrant!

I hate the way you speak to people.

The film won't make itself.

My relationship with you is awful, very stressful.

I completely agree.

I've never felt as bad as I have since I started on your film.

Yet I was happy you chose me.

I thought you'd go for the other guy.

- He was better-looking. - Much better-looking.

You know, I was torn...

between three.

They were all much better-looking, but you were more...

You're a bit of a con artist, I guess.

You make people think you're handsome, which is more exciting.

But you don't give anything away, you have to be prised open.

I can't stand being shouted at.

You know, I found a calendar from when I was five.

Imagine - five years old!

I'd put crosses on the days when... There were five crosses.

Only five days. Five days!

Five days what?

Five days when my stepmother hadn't hit me.

That's why I get mad when people shout at me.

I'm not being mean, I'm just anxious.

Aren't you hungry? You've hardly eaten anything.

Neither have you.

It's better for shooting, having an empty stomach.

Take your socks off, you look ridiculous.

No, I'm not taking them off.

You have to.

I'm not taking them off. I'm fine as I am.

It's my decision.

You'll take them off tomorrow, won't you?

I'll take off the shoes. The socks are a step too far.

I don't believe this.

He's freaking me out.

I will get him to ditch the socks, won't I?

He's such an idiot, I can't stand him any more.

Why won't you take your socks off?

Don't be ashamed of your feet. They're fine.

Barefoot isn't like being naked.

I have a fetish.

If I take them off I'll die.

Pull yourself together. Tell yourself it's no big deal.

I told you, I'm a fetishist, I can't be rational.

What are you going to do tomorrow?

Trust me.

- Is he keeping his socks on? - Yeah.

- He's still got them on. - It's fine.

Is the cigarette ready?

OK, picture's up!

Can we have silence, please!

Chew on your necklace!

There you go.

- Camera... - Rolling.

- Announcement! - 22/9, eight!

Go!

You're not just going to stand there, are you?

No, but...

I'm bored of the bedroom.

Come on, get the dialogue going!

You don't like it here?

I do...

I really like the embarrassment here.

Let's move in... Move the camera in...

We're not coming in fast enough...

We should have done it when I said so,

but still, it's not bad.

Don't you trust me?

You're in the wrong position, straighten up!

I do, but if anything happens to me they'll say I asked for it.

What do you think's going to happen to you?

Nothing.

Let's have this kiss, then.

That's it.

Kiss her properly!

You've kissed before, remember.

You're like two teenagers in love,

in a nightclub, in a car,

on the sand, on the beach...

Life is good.

The elbow comes over the chest, hold her close.

Hand on her chest.

Put your elbow there. I want to see it!

The elbow's there to protect your body.

Now, move your hand down her body.

Bloody hell, he's awful.

Let's cut.

Cut!

Help!

There - you had your face... it was perfect.

You were leaning in like this, all embarrassed and innocent,

but you turned your head to grab the cigarette

and it was completely mechanical.

We completely lost your expression, the embarrassment, the innocence,

the magic that was there when you were facing him like that.

So, let's do it again, you stay right there, like that,

and you pick up the cigarette much later, OK?

But first, I want that look.

OK?

Let's go.

Haven't you ever kissed anyone, you idiot?

Go on!

There you go.

Now they're kissing.

I love young love.

She's going to fall for it.

She wants to fall for it, she just wants it to be his fault.

That's young girls for you.

Cut!

Jeanne's not going to be at all happy about this!

You're making a big mistake.

He doesn't want to come here. Apparently you agreed.

No, we'd agreed until tonight.

Shall I call him back?

No, I don't want to talk to him.

And anyway, he'll get what's coming to him!

What shall I do?

We can't force him to move.

He can do what he likes, I couldn't care less!

I told you, I'm not with Jeanne right now!

Call her in her room!

All I know is she's really angry. Sort it out with her.

I don't want to talk to him.

I'm sick of being your go-between!

We always choose actors because we like them.

Why do they change once they get the role,

when they're not looking for work anymore?

Because they know we can't sack them anymore.

They get treated like royalty,

but they just want you to love them for who they are.

When they have the power, once they've been chosen,

something they understand very well, even the biggest idiots,

they take the film hostage,

and because they're on screen it completely disarms you.

I'm really having a tough time.

I pretend to hate them, but deep down, I love them.

Actually, I hate them for not loving me.

You think they're making the film out of love, but actually

they're doing it out of vanity or something, I don't know.

That underlying cowardice never leaves them,

so when you start getting tough on them, even with no leverage,

even though it's always them who start the conflict,

you see them kowtowing, you start hating them.

At the same time, you want so much to love them.

And I'm talking about actors, not actresses.

With actresses, we always get on, even if we don't like each other.

That aggression, that relationship with power, that's a male thing.

And it's when you rip them apart that they do magnificent things,

as if they needed to be submissive.

After all, you've got to be a girl.

You have to be a girl to be an actor.

And you're making a mistake if you want to share their emotion.

A director is like a predator - you tear that emotion from them,

you take it, mark it as your own, it's yours.

The actors are the materials for the film.

That's just how it is. From a human perspective, it's unacceptable.

I'd rather hang myself than go over there.

Do you think they'll strip off?

The fact that he didn't want to take his socks off doesn't bode well.

They all take their clothes off in other people's films, don't they?

- Yes. - All of them!

- Yes. - Even for pointless scenes.

They're happy to strip off for no reason,

but for my scenes they refuse.

I'll do it in one shot.

I'll shoot the whole scene in one take,

that way they won't be able to get away from me.

Once they're naked, they can't get dressed again.

It's the only way.

How are you going to manage with 15 pages?

I'll manage, I can do it.

We'll shoot the scene in one take. We'll put plasterboard everywhere.

The whole scene!

Are you OK?

Doesn't look like it.

Can't complain, the pay is good.

What's up?

Nothing.

Do you want to tell me something?

I'll tell you later.

No, tell me now.

It's not important.

What is it?

It doesn't say in the script that he's naked.

It says he keeps his pants on.

I know, I wrote it, it's stupid.

I should have read it again.

Imagine a bloke with a hard-on and his d*ck sticking out of his pants.

It's ridiculous.

I wanted to know,

because it also says that his penis is cast as a shadow.

It won't be a shadow, either.

That's just for the imagery,

for those who make decisions based solely on a read-through.

It still says "shadow".

It doesn't matter what I write.

Cinema is also about embodiment.

A film will turn out differently depending on the actor you choose.

Anyway, he's not keeping his pants on.

But I would like him to keep his shirt on

because naked bodies really annoy me.

We have to give it a try.

We'll give it a try and see how it goes.

Jeanne, we're taking a break.

I don't want to go to lunch. I don't want to see them.

There's no point in me reading it again.

I can't make any sense of this scene anymore.

I don't think they're having lunch, they're working.

Together?

Yeah, they're going through their lines.

That's good.

Pass me the car keys just in case.

Don't worry, I'm going for a walk.

I'll be on set at 12.01 sharp.

Ah, this is bliss!

Do you want some news from the front?

He didn't come for lunch. She was there for 20 minutes.

Did they say anything? Did they ask about me?

No, they seem happy enough.

Did the make-up artist do their bodies?

I made that clear again this morning.

So they know, and they're completely on board?

I don't believe it.

What are we doing now?

I've no idea.

I need to think about that myself.

I need to be on my own.

OK, the set belongs to the director, so off you go!

You tell me to leave the set when you're doing your lighting.

Everyone, clear off.

I need to know what I was thinking

to get my scene right.

Then we'll rehearse over and over again.

You too, out!

No, I can stay. I'll do the scene with you.

No, I'm entitled to be alone.

You have to respect a writer's need for solitude

and leave them in peace. Same for me.

I'll go and sit in a corner, just in case you need me.

No, get out!

I don't even want to catch a glimpse of you!

OK. Leo...

Come in!

Why did you leave?

When my boss says "Everyone out!"...

But I need you.

Oh, well I'm very flattered.

I don't know where to start.

I don't understand a thing,

yet it made perfect sense when I wrote it.

I tried to read it again last night but it just fell apart.

I've reread it over fifteen times.

Nothing, it just didn't make sense anymore.

Come here.

You be the girl.

I always know what the boy will do.

They're totally predictable.

The girl is always the answer.

So first I need to know what he's doing.

It's the movement of the bodies. Never the words.

Words are lies, bodies are the truth.

I have to create the truth.

She's lying on the bed.

She has her arm across her forehead.

You're daydreaming, looking up at the ceiling.

You know he's undressing but you don't want to know that.

Her feet are together, yeah.

That's not together, that's crossed.

Yeah, that way he can do everything a girl wants: nothing.

She's still a virgin, remember.

Just go with it,

otherwise it'll just look ridiculous.

No, that's not right at all.

It is, girls just go with it.

It means the boy has to do it.

What does she say now?

"I love you, but..."

Oh yeah.

I hate this "but".

She sighs.

She twists

and ends up like this.

Yeah, that'll look good for the camera.

You can tell it's not going to be easy for him.

Bloody hell, you're a bunch of sl*ts.

Not at all.

It's the contradiction between the fact that she desires him

and her perception of her own dignity.

Do you think getting laid fits with her self-image?

Sex is what people do the most and admit to the least.

Shall we ask Rose to come in?

She's more or less the same build as the actress.

She could be the girl and you could be the boy for once.

David, could you get Rose on set as soon as possible, please? Thanks.

It's very precise and very complicated.

If only we were a bit more normal!

All this just to have sex for the first time!

They're all here waiting!

We've been shut in here for an hour and 26 minutes.

No way! Felt like 20 minutes to me!

An hour and 26 minutes!

We'll keep rehearsing it until the mechanics are spot on.

I don't want to see those awful bathrobes the actors keep wearing.

I want to see bodies.

A body moves differently in a bathrobe

and it's problematic for the lighting.

You'll be in your pants, or your swimsuit.

Nothing obscene.

You won't be cold, you'll be under the spotlights.

Otherwise, can we get the heating on?

It's fine, we got it.

- Are we rehearsing now? - Yes.

Will the prosthesis hold up? He does move around a lot.

I had a prosthesis made for him, it'll be easier when he's erect.

We'll still need to make sure we're discreet, though.

I'd like to see it clearly at first but then not too much of it after.

OK, we'll see.

We'll have to see how it looks on camera. Not a problem.

But I need an hour to sort out the lighting.

There are some changes there...

there are lots of changes.

That's the one I want.

It's a bit big, isn't it?

No, let's give it a go and see.

We can always change it.

OK.

Why are there different sizes? Didn't he base it on the real one?

Here, it's this one.

Regular size, French standard...

Is it OK?

I'm XXL, but anyway...

Can I have a word when you get a minute?

I've always got time for my actors.

Later, when you've got time.

I've got time. We can talk now.

OK, come outside.

I don't want the others to hear.

I didn't imagine the job would be like this at all.

All I can do now is what Léo did.

I thought I was going to die when you threw me off the set.

Really?

I didn't become an actor just to copy what someone else has done.

I want to put my own stamp on the role.

But you will, what are you talking about?

It's your body that will be playing the part.

Your body, with its own stature, its own build, its own movement.

Ultimately, it's you I'll be filming.

It's you who's going to do it.

You could at least have had me there while you were imagining the scene.

Excluding me was such an act of violence.

You're really not trying to understand.

I needed to be alone.

The film is hard for me, too.

It's a big deal. I'm the one on the line here.

If you're not feeling it you'll say I didn't know what I wanted,

that the film's rubbish.

You'll say it's not your film.

With Léo and Rose it's as if I'm alone.

I know Léo's no big deal. I don't hold that against you.

You're asking me to trust you? Well trust me.

I know it's tough, especially with the prosthesis.

I'm fine. It's her.

Have you spoken to her about the prosthesis?

No. I wanted to speak to you both.

That's why I wanted you to come to the hotel,

but you refused.

I've explained this to you.

That was all lies. It doesn't matter.

Every film is different. This one is about silence.

Not speaking to the actors is a big deal.

You have to talk to her.

She won't agree to me filming naked.

She doesn't want to film naked, says it's not in her contract.

I hate actors talking about their contracts.

- She wants to talk to her agent. - Let her talk to them!

She doesn't talk to me, that's what matters.

But she does talk to me.

Even in make-up - you can ask the make-up artists.

As long as she doesn't say anything to me, it's fine.

I don't say anything, but I hear everything.

Whatever they don't tell me, I don't care about.

Leave me alone. I know what I'm doing, it's my job.

I've been avoiding you all since this morning.

I didn't come and say hello to you in make-up.

When I do, you reply completely absent-mindedly.

You're selfish, vain and full of your own importance!

You watch the make-up team in the mirror, giving your orders.

You really are despicable!

It's as if the whole world revolves around you!

That's all you've ever known!

I can't wait for this to be over.

We have to send someone to fetch you to be sure you're there on time!

You've no sense of professional responsibility!

You only know how to behave like a bunch of kids!

I've had enough, I hate having to babysit my actors!

They're very well paid because it's very hard work.

Oh, I think they're waiting for us.

Go on!

Get on with it!

You look like a bloody toad!

He's going to piss me right off, he's not going to do it the same.

That looked awful on camera, dreadful.

Show me what you're doing. It's very precise, you know?

No, that's nonsense. I need feelings, I'm not a machine.

Feelings will come later, we're just doing the mechanics now.

OK, you be the boy...

Like that, OK?

See?

She turns like this...

And traps him with her arm, like this.

The more her back is turned, the closer her body is to him.

OK? Like this.

She's choking me! She's so strong!

See how she's holding him? He can't get away from her.

That's how girls are.

I must not be a girl, then. I'm a more simple being.

Not your first time though, eh? What was it like the first time?

A complete disaster, he didn't have a clue,

not like my man.

Well anyway, the character's prone to freaking out,

he's a complicated soul, he can't help it.

For her, it's crystal clear, but for him, it's awful.

He needs to try and understand her and not be obsessed with having sex.

He's quite nice, isn't he? He understands her?

OK, you want me to be nice?

Well yeah, not a b*stard. Even if he does turn out to be one.

We need to play the scene the other way round.

Right now, he's tender, caring, attuned to her...

I portray him as "nice", he is nice.

Come on, I'll do the scene, it's fine.

We can shoot it, anyway, we'll give it a go.

I'm not saying it'll work but... Go and see Willy.

Just a sec.

I should have told you about it, but I haven't had the opportunity.

When he gets hard at the start it'll be a prosthesis, did you know?

- No. - Well, I'm telling you.

It's hard to see it in real life but on screen it'll hardly show.

That way, there won't be any contact between you and him.

If he ever touches you with his c*ck, it's the prosthesis.

The only thing that can touch you is the plastic.

That's reassuring. His hands are everywhere in between takes.

He's an *rsehole.

And am I naked?

More or less.

She's not wearing knickers, anyway.

I like the idea of keeping one item of clothing on, maybe your dress?

It'll be pulled up, obviously, but it'll be there.

Are you OK with that?

Come on, go and get changed.

- Everything OK? - Yeah.

We went for the bigger one in the end.

It's a bit scary, huh?

Put that on so we can see.

You always have to check - you can't tell otherwise.

I told her, anyway. Are you sure she didn't want to?

She told me at lunchtime she wouldn't film nude.

Come on, let's not get carried away.

I always said she'd be naked. Was that not clear?

She told me she wouldn't do it.

Because it's hard.

If she thinks about it, she can't, but when she's in the thick of it...

You can say what you like about her, she's brave.

She takes it in her stride, doesn't cause any trouble.

The vest is ridiculous.

A bare chest looks good.

Maybe we'll put on a pair of trousers, we'll see.

With the hair, it'll be perfect.

Shall I put the trousers on?

No, changed my mind, just your T-shirt and sweater.

T-shirt and sweater!

Stop messing around!

He needs to concentrate, the idiot!

Action!

Ah! I don't want to see that! I don't want to see anything!

I don't want a massive penis front and centre!

I just want to see he's hard when he lies down. Let's go again.

Can we have silence, please!

Picture's up!

Don't forget to kill the dog.

Camera!

Rolling...

36/6, take 3.

Action!

Now we can't see anything.

That's not good. Cut!

What?

We couldn't see his penis at all. I want to see but not see, OK?

Down with censorship!

He bit me on the neck, the *rsehole!

Silence again, please! Picture's up!

Camera!

Rolling...

36/6, take 7.

Action!

Cut!

There was absolutely no point in having him spit but...

her anxiety makes her look magnificent.

But she...

My Velcro's wearing away from getting my d*ck out so much.

They're grateful to you for taking a break, anyway.

Honestly, the actors needed it.

As did the crew.

Ah, the shadow?

A bit of lube...

He won't get it up. She doesn't get him hard.

He only gets hard for the crew.

This is for you.

Don't look at him.

He's an idiot.

OK, everyone get naked, everyone together!

OK, that's enough, I want to shoot now.

So?

- Don't come near me! - Just with the gloves?

- No? - Don't touch me.

The scene's going to be good. Do you feel better now?

I don't have a problem.

You don't have to walk about with your *rse hanging out.

- I don't care. - I do.

Sh*t, he's really good.

He's not getting it up, it's tiny.

She's making up her lines, she's lost it.

It's technically fine but it's not right.

There's just nothing about it that really grabs me.

I have no right to be a part of this scene.

It's an intimate scene.

It should take my breath away, feel wrong for me to be watching.

When you cry, it's not enough. They're empty tears.

I want the tears of a girl lying naked in a guy's arms,

who desperately wants to make love to him but can't,

who's trapped inside herself.

You've got to be freaking out more right from the start.

She's a virgin, it's freaking her out.

But she plays the part, he should be freaking out, too.

He has to realise it's important, that he can't have her that easily.

What if you screamed? Go on.

Scream!

Scream louder! Really scream!

Louder!

Again!

Louder!

There we are. Open your eyes.

That's better, it clears your eyes.

We can shoot now.

If you were nice...

If I were nice...

All the girls do it from behind.

All the girls do it?

That way, they can say it doesn't count.

That's disgusting.

Cut!

That was beautiful!

You look happy!

I'm very happy. It's a funny old life.